Authors note: This is my first attempt at writing a story like this, so please keep that in mind while reading the pages to follow. My grammar is poor by most standards, and i really don't care either. I'm not writing this to impress you with my grammar and syntax. I am writing this however to give you a window into my life and the people I have shared my life with. Now the legal stuff: 1. you are supposed to be 18 to read this. 2. if it is illegal where you are too read this type of story, it is entirely your responsibility to stop right now. 3. This story is not all gratuities sex but there are sex involving consenting males under the age of 18. Mainly because this story involves the details of my life and I have had my share of sex when I was a teen. 4. If this type of reading material offends you, do not continue! that being said I have no way of knowing who will read this so enjoy if you will at your own risk 5. Of course this is my story and My intellectual property, but feel free to read copy and distribute it as long as you keep the disclaimer and give credit where and when it is due:

My Hidden Love

I woke up wit with the alarm clock ringing, gosh I hate it when that happens. I got up and bush my teeth and get ready for school again, my name is Mike and I am 14 years old normal looking boy with black hair and brown eyes. I went down stairs to my mother where she is in her kitchen cooking breakfast for me and preparing my lunch. I love my mother so much so cared for me more than anyone in this world, whenever I am alone. After the nice meal I went out heading for school, as usual met up by my best friend Nick, as we walk to school. Nick and I have been close friends since year 1 and we have been living close to each other for as long as I can remember, so I kind of told me just about anything that happened to me. Well I never thought I am attracted to boys? How could I? I mean that is not normal right? Everyone having girlfriends and talking about which is the hottest chick and I have been doing that too. Till Dean came into my life, I was down I just could get over him? I tried so many time to think of something else but it seems to drift back to him again. From that moment on I know my life is shattered, I can I survive that way? I was so sad and so confused I went to Nick's house to tell him to share my feelings with him and thank god he accepted me for who I am. He let cried on his shoulder and tells me its ok and that nothing will go wrong. Nick is 14 as well blond hair nice body and clear crystal blue eyes that girls could stare for hours and never look away. Well Dean is also the same age with light brown hair and the similar brown eyes like mine.. Wow just thinking of him makes me so happy.

" So how are you feeling today" to strike me back to reality.

"Oh I am feeling great" I answered.

"You seems to be a bit quite today?" he asked.

"I am? Oh its nothing really I am just thinking how much I have changed since two weeks ago when Dean came to school" I answered quietly.

" Ohhhh...hehe, he is really THAT unforgettable?" He asked

" Um...kind of?" I blushed never wanting to lie to my best friend.

So he pretty much left me with my thoughts and we walked to school in silence. When we got there it was still quite early so we decides to walk around and see where our friends are. When suddenly Alex jumped me " Hey dude, what's up" with a happy smile, "nothing much" I smiled back. " Come on I met this guy in my history class and he is pretty cool, I want you to meet him" So he dragged Nick and me to the shade area. When it suddenly strike me, there stand the one I hated and loved so much. I must have stood there like a zombie because the next thing I know everyone is looking at me and asking me what is wrong with me. When I realize that I blushed quickly and said " What I was just thinking about the plans and what I am going to do for this whole day" desperately hoping that they will just let it drop but they kept on staring at me including my dream man Dean. Oh my god so I glance over to Nick and trying to tell him to help me he seems to be a bit unhappy which I have no idea why but he started to change the subject by asking Alex to introduce Dean to us. Oh great is he doing this on purpose? He knows I can't stand that kind of thing. So I nervously went over to them, as Dean extend his hand and I move forward to shook it I felt an electricity flooding through me. I almost fate right there, no thanks to Nick here. As Nick saw my feeling uncomfortable so he excused us as he drag me to another place where is more isolated. "That was scary" When we reached a spot where no one can see us. "Really well I don't think so" he a bit strangely. Which I found very unusual, he never like that at all before he is always easy going and always there to help and share my feelings? So I asked, " Are you ok today?" " Yeah sure why shouldn't I be?" answered nervously. I looked at him and eye him suspiciously "You acting a bit weird today you know that, especially when we met Dean?" " Oh really, I don't think so". I was about to ask another question when the bell rang and so we decide to let this drop and took off to our first class. At lunchtime when we were eating lunch Dean showed up at the table and I kind of got the courage and started chatting with him like we've known each other for a long time. That is when I saw the cold stare that Nick was giving Dean? I wonder why? "I sorry I have some homework due in next class and I haven't finished it so I have to go to the library" then he got up and left. That was interesting? I have PE/PD with him and we're playing soccer today what could be the homework for that subject? Oh well I guess he is not feeling well today I will talk to him later. So I went back to chatting with Dean, we found out that was had a lot in common, we like the same sport, movies, pop stars and so on. The time passes so quickly I just don't remember till the bell ring and Dean got up and said " Um... you don't mind if I have your phone number do you know like if I needed help or to hangout I can call you" I was so nervously and happy that is nearly forgot that he is asking me a question

"Um.. sure" with that I wrote down on his hand and he wrote his on mine and we went our separate ways.

I was over joy and wanted to share it with Nick when I realize that Nick must had jigged school? but why? We always tell each other what we're doing? The PE?PD lesson was so boring without him.

I run home and got changed from my school uniform and headed straight for Nick's place. I rang the bell but no one seems to answer? So I rang again? for sure he is at home ? after the fifth rang I guess he must have gave up. The next thing I know the door flow open and Nick stood there like his been crying or something but he kept his head down and said lazily " Oh sorry I can't hang out today I am a bit sick" Sick??? He was ok and perfectly fine this morning so I asked "What is wrong?" "Oh nothing I think its just a bad cold or something" "Oh so why didn't you tell me" "Do I have to tell you everything?" He said a bit loud then usual, I was there don't know what had happened? What did I do? I tried to apologize " I ...I am sorry if I done anything wrong?" He looked up at me with his red angry eyes and shouted "You know what, GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU ANNOYING LITTLE CRAP, GO WITH DEAN AND HAVE YOUR LITTLE HAPPY LIFE TOGETHR" then slam the door at my face. My face is full of tears now, what did I do that was so bad that even 9 years of friendship can't even help at all, what is wrong with him.

I was so angry, my trusted cared fun loving best friend for 9 whole years won't even talk to me about the problem that made him hate me? I run home sitting on my bed thinking what the hell happened to me. First was my strange feeling towards boy named Dean, now my best friend Nick in totally ignoring me for no reason? I am so confused, I don't think I have even been so confused in my whole life. I run into my bedroom sat on my bed, grab my CD player and placed Dreamstreet album in and lay down on my soft bed, trying to relax myself and pretend nothing today had happened. This is one of the way I can calm myself when I am sad or angry and trying to get my mind to relax. Before I knew it I was asleep. The next thing I knew was waken up by my alarm clock again, Its 6.45am and its time to get up for school. I got up lazily and went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. After all the thing that had happened to me yesterday I am not going to talk to Nick since he think that he can ignore me then that is it I had enough with him. I did what I should do like a good friend by going up to him and try to discuss about the problem that he had with me and try my best to solve it.

I went to school as normal... well not really normal. Today I went to school without Nick by my side, I felt like there is a hole in my heart that I just don't know how to describe the feeling. I stood strong and try to forget the feeling that is burning inside of me for no reason, I mean I don't even love him and he acted like a jerk to me and I want him to feel the pain. When I reached school, I went up to our friends where we always hang out before going to the classroom. Some how I didn't see Nick but my handsome Dean was there, he gladly came up to me and ask me "How are you today?" "I am great today" I lied but putting on a smile. "Did you know that Nick looked like he has been crying?" "Well no but since he is been such a jerk and won't talk about his problems, then let him be" said angrily but deep inside I want to go and see him. "Where is he?" I asked without knowing why. "He went to the bench area" he replied "Thanks" I said and hurry to the area. When I reach the place there was Nick sitting there all by himself staring into nothing at all. I was about to go up to him, but the selfish part got the better part of me and left him sitting there. The day was so boring, at lunchtime Dean came up to me and ask me to hangout. I was over joy, I said "sure thing". I run home straight after school and got changed into my favourite clothes that I got for my birthday. We promised to meet at the arcade down in town, I was so nervous, does this look good on me and hoping he likes me clothing.

When I got to the arcade, there he was wearing his black T-shirt and long trousers. He look so adorable, gosh I mean he is soo sexy and hot. But I wasn't that excited, why? Am I sick? I mean a sexy boy there and I am not that excited? How come what is happened to me? Am I normal again? I don't think so. We hangout near the arcade, it was fun. But just fun not that exciting, I got tired and said I had something to do and went home.

I got home wondering why wasn't I excited about see Dean anymore? How come? I mean I loved him and he is the reason I had to face the fact that I am gay? Could it be Nick? May be I valued this friendship more than I thought. But I will let him come and apologize to me. With that made me more happier, thinking that may be there is a chance that our friendship will get better since I am not that angry with him anymore.

Today Wednesday I had a class same as Nick's which was english. So I was excited to see him and if he apologize I will forgive him and will not be angry with him anymore. When the class started I walk up to the english room and as I always I saw Nick already inside the room. I went up to him and sat down next to him, to my surprise he got up and called me an asshole and went to another sit. I was mad, more mad than anything else that had happened to me. Why? He is so not normal. My heart was broken, I felt so bad like I am going to die. I was so hurt and tried my best to hold it inside of me, I got up and tell the teacher " Miss, my stomach hurt really badly can I go to the office to call my parent to pick me up" " sure if your parent come or give you permission" "Thank you miss" I walk out of the room to the office called mum and told her that I felt terrible that I want to come home. She gave me permission to come home, since she is working and couldn't come to pick me up.

When I reached home, I went to my bed. "God why do I even care who that jerk think of me? God that hurt so much" I thought. My head is like splitting into two, what is wrong with me? I was crying for whole 2 hours when I heard the phone rang. I was expecting mum to call to see if I was ok. But to my surprise it Nick, "Hello" he said, I wanted to hang up right there. But I didn't instead I said "Hi" "I am sorry about today, I have been acting like a jerk but I have been hurt I couldn't control myself." You have been hurt what about me I thought "Could we be friends again? I felt so bad, what did I do? Please tell me I will change, I just couldn't stand with out you ignoring me." " Can I come over now?" he said "sure" with that he hang up and before I knew it the door bell rang.

When I opened the door, I saw my best friend Nick. I felt myself feeling all better and smiling at him, he came into my bedroom. "Thank you for putting up with me for all these times" I said when he sat down on my bed. "But i..i...I really was hurt" "Hurt? Tell me what your hurting, we can work it out" I must have sounded really desperate because straight after I said it, he started giggling. "What?" I said rather embarrassed "Nothing, I want to ask you want question, do you truly love Dean?" "Um... well I never been in love before so yeahhhh???" he took a deep breathe and continued "I heard that you and Dean are getting pretty close lately, I felt happy for you" "Um... thankx?" I said without knowing what does this have to do with him getting angry? " Well that is all I have to ask, as long so your happy with him that is all it matters" I got angry " what does this have to do with you getting angry?" "You really don't know? Or are you just acting dumb with me?" " I really don't know " I said confidently. "Well makes it more easier for you and your tiny brain, I was gay so bisexual or something when I was 8 years old I felt an attraction to a boy. That every special boy told me his is gay 6 years later, I was so happy. Then he told me that he is also in love with another boy who came to our school" As he finished his tears fell from his eyes. I stood there like a zombie looking at him "Who are you talking to?" I asked, He looked at me with a wide open eyes "Who am I talking to? The wall? NO .. YOU of course" he reply then shake his head. " You love me, but what about the time when I didn't know I had an attraction to girls and we were like full on talk about girls?" " well at first before you told me you had an attraction to guys, I thought that having you is impossible. So the best I can do it hang around with you and enjoying being with you. But when you tol d me and said that guy you love wasn't me, its like put a perfect meal in front of you and take it away straight away. I was so close that I don't want to give up" "But I don't love you, I mean your like a brother to me" I said "Well I am not your brother am I? Why can't you just give me a chance? For 6 years of waiting for what I wanted" He said it as he run out of the room crying.

Well that is it for the time been I hope you like me story, my email address is If any comments please email me.