Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:41:53 -0400
From: Sean E <ekidky@hotmail.com>
Subject: My Road of Lifes Discoveries - Ch 3

Discoveries on My Journey of Life
EKidKy - :o)

Disclaimer: This story is true; the names are basically the same, and the
place is middle-eastern Kentucky (sort of), in the USA.  Its my life as I
was growing up, as best as I can remember all of it - simple as that.  If
you really don't think you should be here, then dont go any further.  Thats
all I'm going to say on the matter, because I believe it has its own
merrits. It can help young and old alike, or at least I hope it can...

----------------

--- Chapter Three ---

I think before I go any further, at least in my eyes, it might be a good
time to kind of describe what my room is like.  I mean, when I look back
over my life, there has always been a couple of steady things that I think
shaped part of who I am, what I became; things that didn't change or upset
the flow of life around me.  One was the fact that, although we were not
what you would call poor, we were never lacking in need of anything - at
least I wasn't.  When my Mom and Dad divorced, he moved out and let us keep
the house, not only because it was what you would call "affordable" for us,
but also because it had became my home since as long as I could ever
remember. The payments stretched us kind of thin at times - moreso that I
realized now than then - but we still had food to eat, and a place to stay
warm and dry. My clothes were always a mix of the Walmart 'cheapies' (as
people tended to call them), and hand-me-downs from other family, with
occasional nice stuff thrown in the mix when we could afford them. Never
were there Nike's or other name brand items to speak of, but I never had a
taste for them like a lot of kids did.  I knew of one guy whose sole
purpose in life it seemed was to have anything in the $100 shoes and up,
the designer jeans, and other classy, stylish looks; it seemed appearances
were more important to him than anything elses.  Either his parents were
rich, or he afforded them through some other means; it was okay, except for
the fact he looked down on some of us disdainfully, and I always thought he
was just so "full of it", you know?  For me, clothes were clothes - so long
as they weren't ragged with holes or thread-bare, and so long as they were
clean (well, reasonably, anyway)...

	Dad always seemed to take care of us though. There were times when
money was really tight, and I can remember more than once Mom being on the
phone talking with him, not unkindly or anything, but just asking him for
help, that she needed help.  That was another thing about my parents: Dad
paid child support, as ordered by the court I guess, but I never once heard
him complain about it, nor did Mom ever hear of him complaining or
anything.  And yet, they still had this thing where they could talk - I
mean really talk.  Not fight, not snide each other or put one another down
- that was something I never, ever heard from either of them.  I know a lot
of it was because of what they were doing for me, they were keeping me as
neurtral and out of their problems as possible, but it was the little
things I always noticed, always saw, even "felt" at times.  If we got into
a tight corner, which didn't happen often but it did happen, she would talk
to him and ask if he could help any. Then the next thing I knew we would
get a check in the mail from him, sometimes as much as a thousand dollars,
which believe me, back 10 years ago was still a lot of money to put up. And
something else: he still came to visit me, a couple times a year, and he
would always ask questions about how we were doing, whether we needed
anything. One time our old car was having fits with something going wrong,
and Mom was trying to just make it last a while longer. I didn't know what
I said or did, I mean, me and Dad were just talking one day and somehow I
laughed about how we didn't make it to church one Sunday because the car
died on us halfway there. I didn't think anything of it, I mean heck, I was
maybe 10 or 11 or something, just old enough to start coming into growing
up some, I guess, but still a kid. The next thing I knew though about a
week later, Dad drove up one day in a different car, and called for Mom to
come outside and try it out.  It wasn't a new car, and although I'm not
really sure, I think it was more like a 1984 Regal or something like that,
had maybe 80-90K miles on it, but it was in good shape and ran a lot better
than our old one did. She did come out, and was really surprised when in
the end, he just handed her the keys, told her to sell what we had and send
him the money and he'd call it even.  He left, and as she watched him leave
back out of the highway (someone had followed him in), she was almost
crying. Go figure that out, right?  My Dad did those things, partly because
he was taking care of me, but also taking care of **us**; how many deadbeat
fathers are there out there who don't even try to do that much, or who run
down their ex's like there is no tomorrow with trash talk and whatever?
How many Dad's out there put the kids in the middle of it all, or pretend
they don't even have any kids to start with?  That was another reason why I
loved my Dad, because as I grew older and started seeing other kids from
broken homes and how they had to live and were treated - some well, some
not - I learned to appreciate how much he went out of his way to help us,
to care about us.  Some would say well, thats just the Christian thing to
do.  Maybe so, but I can tell you a lot of supposed **Christian** fathers
who don't even come close to the mark, if you know what I mean. My Grams
used to say a lot of times my Dad treated us as good as gold.  I believed
it, and was so ever thankful for it.

	Another constant thing in my life was my room, and there is a very
special reason for me to bring it up here.  It goes back to what I've
described before about our house - the whole upstairs was pretty much mine,
not that it had that much in it, but to have my own bathroom and bedroom
was a lot more than most people, most kids anyway, could ever dream of.  It
was like my declaration of independence in a way, being a single kid, with
a Mom who never remarried; we did lots of stuff together - and I mean a lot
of stuff - but when the end of the day came or whatever, the upstairs was
like my haven, my little world. And as I got older I loved it, I guess for
a lot of reasons. Remember, I was a mellow kid - you know, quiet, shy, not
just at school, but at home too. Part of my home life was centered around
just being kind of a private kid that way.

	My room, to me was awesome. It was a big room, one that stretched
from the back of the house upstairs to the front, ending with this
dormer-like window overlooking the front yard. The back outside corner of
the room had a window out both sides set right into the corner, overlooking
the driveway on one side where we parked the car, and overlooking the back
yard on the other.  If you stared out the back just right, you could see
the treehouse my Dad and I built, a place over the years I also spent a lot
of time in reading or doing whatever.  Inside my room, I had a decent TV, a
game player (both an N64 and a Nintendo Gamecube later, when it came out);
along the outside wall was one of these dresser units with an attached
entertainment stand (for lack of a better word) which gave me a small desk
and a place to put my TV and stuff. The room was kind of a denim blue in
color, the usual white ceilings, and what decorations I put up usually were
fashioned after the Kentucky Wildcats, the state university basketball
team; other stuff included Star Wars/Star Trek posters, too.  Even my
carpet was like a real thick, shaggy blue and white mix.  I wasn't much
into sports, but I loved watching NFL football when the Washington Redskins
were on, or the Wildcats college basketball.  To me, for some reason, they
gave me an escape and an interest at the same time. I would sometimes
fantasize, like a lot of kids did, playing on the court with the team, or
being that wide receiver out there making the game-winning catch. It would
have been cool to do that for real maybe, but as I grew up, my body just
wasn't built to compete in those kinds of leagues, and I knew it.  Still, I
loved watching them play, and following them through the leagues...

	The last thing to describe though, is the one thing that was just
so awesome to me it almost defies description, and I'm sure I will do a
poor job of it here ultimately.  It was a Christmas present one year when I
was around 10 or so: a queen-sized waterbed, made to fit inside a home-made
headboard and rails built for me by my uncle. The headboard was more like
this bookshelf thing, with cubby-holes on the sides, and in the middle was
this big oval mirror, probably 2-1/2 feet tall. It was finished in
something that looked like oak, but wasn't as hardened or heavy like oak is
as a wood; it had lamps on the inside of the headboard, fashioned one on
each side of the mirror, but sort of partitioned off, which I could turn
off and on independently at will.  Those lamps became (and still are,
because I still have that my bed even today) a defacto standard for me I
think, because I hardly ever used overhead lights or other lamps in the
room.  The bed itself wasn't like one of those big, wavy motion beds (it
had baffles to keep it from making me seasick), but I didn't care, because
it was so warm, so different - and just cool, like in awesome cool!  I got
a habit a lot of times to start leaving my windows open, no matter how cold
it got outside.  Of course, winter time I would only open then a little
ways, but as long as it wasn't freezing cold, the outside air kept my room
cool, and the water matress was what kept me warm - not hot, but warm
enough to really make it feel good.  At night time, or in the evenings when
I came in after school, I would plop this huge bean bag up on the bed and
climb in to watch TV, play video games, do homework or whatever else,
turning on one of the bed lamps when it got too dark, and just sit back.

	Up to that point, I had worn pajamas almost all the time in the
fall and winter, but I quickly discovered that wearing them became way too
uncomfortable anymore; it got hot easily, so I tried - for a time - to go
without anything except my briefs.  That almost worked, especially after I
learned to adjust the thermostat on the bed, but there were times my back
would sweat and the moisture wou feel sticky against the sheets and
everything.  That's how I settled into wearing tshirts most of the time,
and not just for sleeping. I think that is also what made me start making
tshirts more of a normal wardrobe for most everywhere else I went too,
except maybe my church clothes or something special.  Whenever and
whereever you found me, I was aways in short sleeves, never anything like
tank tops - just crew cut, solid tshirts, some maybe with simple patterns
on them. Neither my Grams or my Mom cared for the printed tshirts a lot of
teens wear, and to be truthful, I didn't mind it one way or the other, so I
just had lots and lots of them in my drawer, or stuffed in my closet.

	One more thing made a big impact on me too: my room was right next
to the roof, a metal roof at that, and even though it was insulated it
still echoed most of the sound when it rained. It was a good sound though,
even when the rains was heavy or hard. There were nights I would wake up,
and listening to the rain and the steady thrum it would make, the drip in
the background as it would fall down the window sill, the stream it made as
it fell off the back of the house into the gutters. Not just at night,
either; there were a lot of times I would plop the bean bag into the corner
with my windows opened up and just sit there, listening, looking out,
watching... sometimes reading, or doing homework, or whatever.
	It was the cooler days of fall, winter and spring though, that I
loved the most, and for whatever the reason, the rain too. It had the most
calming effect on me and my moods than anything. Sometimes when I felt
uptight or needed to vent my frustrations at something - school, life in
general, whatever - my room, in this corner, it just did something for me
that nothing else would, or could.  Even Mom thought it was strange, but
she's the one who pointed it out one night to Grams while they were
clearing the supper dishes.  I'm sure she thought I was out of earshot, but
I overheard that and other little conversations too.  For some reason, I
took some of it to heart; I never really knew why, I just did...
	-----
	So there, that is another little slice of my world.  That
afternoon, Cody and I were in my room, and he had one of my older bean bags
in the floor sitting on it, pretty close to me and the windows; I had the
other one, propped up, letting me stretch out on the side of the bed,
almost on the rail,as close as I could get with him. My knee was really
sore and aching then, not because of the position I was in, but more for
just overall I think.  We listened to the rain outside for a minute, and I
think he liked it as much as I did, because he turned around and unlatched
the window, raising it and letting the hard steady rain outside seep
inside.  We were not so cold anymore, having warmed up some since we were
wearing now-dry sweats and shirts, and we really didn't say anything for a
couple minutes. We just sat there, the both of us looking at each other
sometimes, or looking out the window, and just listening.  I knew we didn't
want to start anything, no games or anything, because Mom and the nurse
were still at it downstairs, going at it full blast, yaking what must have
been 30-miles a minute.  Every once in a while someone would laugh, and you
knew they were discussing those women-things that, well, women talk about
when they get together.  Finally though, Cody and I both just sighed, and
almost simultaneously turned and faced the TV together, turning it on and
finding whatever we could find to watch for the time being.

	Before long though I was soon reminded of this queasy feeling that
had been building up for a while, but yet one which I had ignored or put
off because of everything else that had been going on.  When Cody and I
initially came upstairs and I got settled in, he had taken a moment and
disappeared, and within seconds I heard a steady stream hitting water at
the other end of the hall, realizing then he had went ot the bathroom.  Me,
I had hardly drank anything that day since before gym class, so I guess the
urge didn't hit me as much as you might expect; but the problem I was
experiencing now was an even heavier blow, and before long that feeling was
building up to an uncomfortable degree.

	"Cody?" I asked, kind of sheepishly.

	"Hmm?"

	"Umm, I need some help..."

	I didn't mind it too bad, although he found it amusing I think.  He
helped me get up, which was not an easy task being the bed made that
difficult sometimes for normal people, yet alone a "handicapped" one as I
was becoming for the moment.  My left leg and knee didn't feel very steady
as we walked down the hallway, and when we entered the bathroom it began
throbbing even more.  Still, we got over to the commode and I let go of
him.  "Umm, you might want to go back, this is gonna take a few minutes..."

	He made a face, then shrugged his shoulders. "Yell when you're done
then..." he called out as he left the bathroom.

	There are no gory details to go into here, nor would I want to,
other than to say it did take me, a little while, 10 minutes or so I
guess. I had a little trouble standing back up, but I got my sweats and
stuff pulled up just as I called out for him that I was done.  I hopped
over to the sink - and immediately wished I hadn't, as it hurt like the
dickens when I shifted any weight to my left side, but washed my hands just
as he entered the doorway.

	"Oh man..." he exclaimed, wrinkling his nose.  I laughed, or
giggled or something, and he walked to the window and opened it a little,
fanning the air before turning and coming up to my side.  "Man, you know
how to stink up a room!", he said, taking my arm and pulling it around his
shoulder.  I whispered sorry or something or another, and he didn't say
anything else, instead just helping me get back to the bedroom and settling
in. He returned to my side again on the bean bag in the floor, and lay his
hand arm on the rail next to me when he got settled. We resumed watching
TV.

	It wasn't long after that when Mom came upstairs, the nurse finally
having left and went on her way.  After a soft knock at the door and a
"Come in" from me, she entered the room and walked over to me, sitting down
and checking me out, you know, the way most mothers do their kids after
they've been hurt and stuff.  She sighed after a moment and watched the TV
with us for a minute before turning to me.

	"Stay off that leg, you hear? Don't mess around with it any more
than you have to, okay?  Maybe it will heal up in a few days, but it'll
depend on how much you let it be. I don't need a bunch of doctor bills to
build up from it."

	I nodded, not sure if she was relieved or worrying or what, but
then she smiled at me.  "I know it's not your fault honey."  She turned and
addressed Cody. "How would you like to stay with us a couple days, maybe
through the weekend, if your parents say its alright?"

	Cody's eyes got big, and it was hard for him to contain the
exuberence in his voice when he replied "Sure! That is... if it's okay..."

	"It is, and I know Sean would probably like to have some company
helping him around here a little bit.Let me call and see what your mother
says, and what say I go and get you boys a pizza while I'm at it. It's been
a long day, and I know you two will probably hole up here for the rest of
the evening. Did you get to eat lunch?"

	At the mention of food, all of a sudden my stomach growled, and I
bet his did too; with all the excitement, we had missed out on anything
normal it seemed. I glanced at the clock which already displayed half-past
four, and about that time Cody half gushed "Oh man, we're starving, or at
least I am; I haven't eaten anything except a banana this morning before
school!"

	Satisfied, she stood up.  "Well, I can fix that, you boys just give
me a few minutes," and with that, she was out the door and moving down the
stairs.
	I looked at Cody and grinned, and he looked back and did the
same. I told him, almost in a whisper "You're the first person to ever
spend a night with me like this, man..."

	"Um, well, it's not exactly my first," he replied, "but it is the
first time I've been away with anyone from school or, you know, not in my
family."  He paused, as his face lost some of its excitement. "I just hope
Dad let's me stay...  I don't think Mom is home yet..."

	I knew hwhat he meant, because I was secretly hoping just as much
as he was.  It's not that his parents were that strict, but it was just
that feeling you get with some people, when sometimes they think one way
and you think another, and somehow it just never connects, you know?  His
parents were like that, sometimes doing things a little odd I guess, or
deciding things a little different than you would have expected. I nodded
and looked back at the TV and started thinking a little about what Mom
said. '...I know Sean would probably like to have some company helping him
around here a little...'  I had not thought ahead that far as yet, and it
dawned on me if Cody didn't get to stay, I would have to probably stay
downstairs on the couch, with Mom, for the whole weekend - and that was NOT
something I really wanted to do. I loved my mom, don't get me wrong, but
she had her shows and movies on TV and stuff which, some of them, would
probably make me gag if I had to suffer through them for long; if we didn't
watch TV, it was worse, especially if she was practicing or playing bridge,
like she usually did on Friday nights.  I knew nothing of the game, and
although she had tried a few times to teach me, it did no good - it was
boring, with too many rules and setups and whatever; it just held no
interest to me.

	A clap of thunder outside startled me back to reality, and glancing
around, I saw Cody was watching TV.  I thought to myself, wow, could it
happen? could I really have someone to spend a whole weekend with me?  I
started getting nervous, butterflies in my stomach, that sort of thing. I
was willing to do anything, ANYTHING it took for it to be alright, to have
a friend, especially him, stay with me.  A shout came from downstairs, one
which neither of us understood, so Cody went to the door and said "Yes
mam?", then after listening, went down the stairs, leaving me by myself.
He was gone several minutes, long enough I started to wonder what he was
doing.  After what seemed like an eternity, I almost called out when
suddenly I heard him running back up the steps and then rushing into the
room with some soda in one hand and a bag of chips in the other.  He was
grinning from ear to ear as he asked me, "Think you can give me enough
clothes to make it till tomorrow?"

	I grinned back.  "I'll give you anything I have!"

	"Cool, cause Dad said he would drop me some clothes off in the
morning - " and the he emphasized each word afterwards as he finished, " -
for - the - whole - weekend!"

	I almost cried and could have hugged him at that point, I was so
excited, and he knew it, too.  He tossed me the bag of chips, then plopped
down on the bed and crawled up next to me. "Hey, hand me that bean bag down
there,", pointing to the one he had been using in the floor.  I reached
down easily and grabbed it, bringing it up and over, which he took and
placed next to mine, right against the headboard, and then situated himself
there really close to me as he popped open the can of soda.  He adjusted
himself a couple of times to get comfortable, of which I had to do as well
because the extra weight in the bed had shifted everything around somewhat.
We ended up pretty close to one another, and I didn't mind it one bit. In
fact, I know he didn't mind either, because even as we both settled, he
moved even closer.  He took a drink of soda then passed me the can.  "It's
the only one you guys have; your mom said she would get some more."  That
was another first for me - drinking after someone, and maybe for an instant
I hesitated - but only for a fraction of a second, because somehow, this
guy and me ... we were fast becoming sould mates.  I took a drink as he
opened the chips and started to pull out a hadful and start chowing down.
Between mouthfuls, he added, "Your Mom is leaving now to get the pizza, and
she said she'll get us a couple of movies too if she can find anything
good."  He paused, then turned and looked at me.  "She's pretty cool, isn't
she?"  He stated it as a fact, not as a question, but still I nodded and
said "Yeah..."

	We munched away, sharing our drink and watching TV as I heard a car
door shutting outside and then the engine starting up.  More thunder
rumbled in the distance, and the rain started coming down even harder. I
figured we were in for a good soaking then, probably lasting all night. The
rain was hitting the roof getting louder when Cody looked at me and said
"Hey, you got the remote?"  I reached back into the headboard, grabbed it
and tossed it on his lap before reaching for another handful of chips.  He
turned the TV up, and we watched silently as time passed, till the show
went off, then he sort of turned to me and asked "What do you want to do
tonight?"  Then he quickly ammended that, "Uh, what do you THINK you can
and want to do tonight?"

	I laughed. "I dunno, we'll figure something out after we eat..." He
nodded, then fell silent again, flipping the channels, looking for
something else to watch.

	After a while we heard mom coming back, and at what sounded like a
yell from outside, Cody jumped up as quickly as he could and crawled over
me out of the bed, running downstairs to the door. Soon he returned with
mom trailing behind him, back up the steps with a large pizza box and what
looked like a couple of movies on top.  Mom was carrying a six-pack of
Pepsi's and a roll of paper towels. They entered, with Cody once again
crawling over me (but not quite as physical this time) and settling back
into his bean bag, pulling the pizza box up on both our laps and opening
the top. Mom laughed at all the commotion and jiggling the waterbed made,
and the face I made as well as it waved from one side to the other from his
scrambling back in place, finally settling down.  She sat in a chair at my
desk, tearing off some paper towels and handing them to each of us, before
we all three launched into our first real meal of the day: a double-topping
of cheeze, sausage and ham!  It was a favorite, as we had both discovered
from times past; I was ravenous, as was he, and as we attacked our first
slices, they were gone all too quickly.  "Slow down you two, save some for
me!" she laughed, watching us fight for another slice, both of us reaching
for the same one - I think - because it seemed to have the most cheese and
sausage on it!

	Before long, I started getting full around the middle of my fourth
slice, and burped - all too loudly if the looks of my Mom could have said
anything - before settling down.  Soon after Cody stopped as well, and
sensing an end to our ravenous attack, Mom took the box from us and
finished her share.  Closing the lid, she stood up and came over to me,
handing me some of the pain pills the doctor had sent along. "Here, take
these, okay?"

	I nodded as she also sat down and gently probbed around my leg
some, pulling up the sleeve of my sweats above the knee.  "It's pretty
dirty in there", she remarked, pulling back the edge of the brace.  She
then looked at me up close, and I was like 'What?', totally lost in her
implication.  She spoke softly then, "Can I leave you two for the night, or
do I need to stay here?"

	Ahhh... the bridge game. "Go on Mom, I'll be okay. Besides, Cody's
here," nodding to my friend who - at that magical moment - decided to let
his belch go, although nowhere near as loud as mine had.

	She laughed. "You two..." she started, but left the sentence
unfinished.  She stood up, looked at me and said "Try to get a bath or
something before you go to bed; you look like you haven't had one in a
week!"  The sad thing was, she was probably right. The last few nights that
week, we had been pretty busy doing some things, and like most kids at that
age, I guess, I just didn't bother with a bath probably like I should
have. That was the first time I also noticed that, thankfully, although I
didn't really stink, I did have some grime here and there, more or less.  I
shrugged, but seeing her expression I quickly ammeded it and said "Okay
Mom, I will."  nothing more was said on the matter, but she turned toward
both of us and said "If you need anything, call me. The number is on the
refridgerator downstairs, and I'll take these drinks and put them inside as
well."

	We nodded and thanked her, and watched as she left the room,
pausing at the door and looking back, "You want this open or closed?"

	I thought about it for a second before replying. "It's kind of cold
Mom, go ahead and close it. It'll help us keep the heat in here."  She
nodded in reply, closed it and then went on her way down the steps.  I knew
she would soon be leaving, and that most likely she would be out till at
least midnight - as sometimes those women can get to talking up plenty as
it was, and given the fact she had some new stories to tell now, mostly
about my daily adventures.

	We just sat there, and after a couple of minutes, Cody shift
around, sitting up and swapping ends, putting his head down and laying on
his stomach at the foot of the bed, using the beanbag to prop himself up.
When they had came upstairs with the pizza, I noticed he sort of kept a
little distance between us when he climbed back in bed; but that was not to
be now though - he purposfully snuggled up to me, I think.  I reached and
grabbed one of those throw blankets and pulled it over both of us, and we
stayed that way a while, watching TV, staying warm, and just staying with
each other.
	Some time went by when he finally rolled over some and said "Wanna
play some Nintendo?"

	I cracked a big smile and said "Bring it on!"  Without any further
pursuading, he did just that, hopping up (and making big waves again) and
setting the N64 up with a favorite of hi, Mario Cart 64.  He climbed back
in bed, this time making even more physical contact as he crawled over me,
but still being careful of my left side.  Pulling the bean bag back again
and propping it next to mine, we sat up with little fuss, and started going
at it.  Before long, we traded for a new game, and then again.  It seemed
like hours went by, but when I finally started getting tired, I looked at
the clock: 8:45pm. Wow, it had seemed like a lot longer. Still, I was
getting stiff and so I stopped after a bit and just put the controller
down, telling him to go ahead and play by himself for a minute.  He looked
at me as I stretched and said "Nah, I'm getting tired of it too", and so he
got up and put everything away.

	Coming back to the bedside, he looked around, then looked at
me. "Are you, umm, gonna, like... "

	"Hmm?" not sure what he was asking, just looking back.

	"You kow, like your Mom said, like..."  He hesitated, then blurted
out, ".. like, take a bath or something?"

	"Oh yeah, I forgot..." I hadn't forgotten it; in fact, I was kind
of wondering while we played how I would do it and all.  I grimmaced I
guess and said "Yeah, I guess so..."

		I didn't say anything else, and he finally just sat down on
the rail by me. I could tell he was thinking, almost battling with
something inside, but I wasn't exactly sure how this was going, or where it
was going to go. In the end, he finally just said it: "Have you, like ever
had a bath with anyone or stuff?"

	"Not exactly," I replied, but I told him some about Jeremy coming
in on me one night when I was little, and what happened.  He made a face
and scrunched up his nose, but didn't say anything for a minute. I asked
him, "Have you?"

	He shook his head no, then after a minute or so, he looked at me, a
kind of hesitant, pleading sound in his voice. "Sean, do you trust me?"

	Do I trust him? Oh wow, did I ever, how could he not know that?
"You know I do," was all I coud say, looking at him as much as I could
convey it.

	He giggled at my look, then - "Yeah, I know that, but I mean do you
really, really trust me?"  He was watching me intently.

	I nodded. "You're my best friend Cody, my very best. Maybe the only
real friend I've ever had."  I paused before adding, "Okay you, spit it
out, what's up? What are you thinking?"  I remember almost adding some
snide comment, like, you want to go go all pscho on me or something, like
that man and th shower scene in the hitchcock movie.  I didn't though,
cause I was waiting, I wanted to see what was up.

	He smiled, and got this mischevious look. "You're mine too Sean..."
he paused, then finished "you have to say it though, you have to, for me."

	I grinned back. "I really really trust you Cody."

	He laughed, then pulled the punch line.  "Okay, then if you really
trust me, well, then I know how we can do this - " and he looked at me
close, " - together."

	I knew what he meant then, well, sort of anyway.  I was beginning
to like tingle inside with excitement sort of, and eventually I giggled
some when I said "Okay!". At that point I knew, inside me it was a secret,
something that was a part of me; it was a wish almost coming true. I didn't
know exactly what he had in mind, but I figured finding out was going to be
the fun part of it.

	He stood and offered me his hand, and I swung out up on the edge of
the bed, then stood up. "Okay, you're the boss."  He smirked, took my arm
around his shoulders again, then we started for the bedroom door...

	--------------

Thus ends yet another chapter.  I'm really hoping this helps someone out
there.  I'm really hoping people who read it really get something out of it
besides just the sexy stuff.  I'm really hoping, at least, no one is
laughing at me...  Till next time, take care everyone - I wish you my best.
    EKidKy@Hotmail.com