Date: Mon, 13 Dec 2004 22:23:03 -0500
From: Jay Kool <jaykool74@hotmail.com>
Subject: My So Called Life - Chapter 14

"My So Called Life" -- Chapter Fourteen by Jay Kool (jaykool74@hotmail.com)

Sorry about the delay and I'm not sure if I'll get another chapter out
before Christmas, so Happy Holidays to you and yours with my best.

--------------

	My Saturday started out with a call from my dad asking my mother
why I hadn't RSVPed on the wedding invitation.  My mom put my dad on hold
and told me that I have to give him an answer, right before she told me how
disappointed she would be if I skipped out on an important event in my
father's life.  I tried to tell her my thoughts, but my voice escaped me
and I could only stare at her with a gapping mouth.  She continued to guilt
me into accepting his invitation to his wedding and to agreeing on being
his best man (I think he should have typed boy not man).
	I reluctantly took the cordless phone from my mother and greeted my
dad.  I could try to tell that he was trying to act chipper and happy
because he sounded like me.  I told him that I would agree to go to the
wedding and be his best man but he could never try to talk to me about my
sex life again.  I think that stunned my mother because she looked as if
she wanted to take me out back and beat me senseless.  He agreed and so I
have a wedding to go to and made small talk with him to make him feel
better before hanging up on him.  My mother started to scold me and I told
her that I could've made him invite her to the wedding to make him feel
uncomfortable or I could do something to ensure that I wouldn't be
uncomfortable.  She said I was being a bit evil and I told her that I was
just acting like my dad and negotiating something that was important to me.
I just received the evil eye from her and automatically knew I was in
trouble if I didn't find a way back into her good graces.
	The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, my mother and I
bonded watching some TV and going to church (maybe not the most exciting
weekend but it might save me from going to hell).  I caught up on my
homework and didn't have to worry about any friends calling me apparently.
I tried to act happy but it was hard and when I was alone I allowed myself
to be depressed.  I was actually bored enough to look forward to school
even though it meant that David would ignore me like I didn't exist.
	School came and I finally decided to dress in some color instead of
my monotone shades of black and gray.  People at school noticed and they
also noticed that I have been talking to other people and smiling once in a
while.  I never realized I was so popular.  I actually had girls and guys
saying hi to me in the hallways and asking how I was doing, I was shocked
at first but was slowly getting used to it.  The only person who seemed to
be ignoring me was David.  I have to admit that my heart still aches every
moment of every day that he isn't my boyfriend or even a friend, but I'm
past being suicidal or anything like that.
	During my first class, which is history by the way, David went to
the bathroom and so I decided about two minutes later to ask to be excused
also.  Since I was a good kid I was allowed to go while someone else was
out of the classroom.  I had to talk to Dave alone to see if I ever had a
chance of winning his heart back, even though I don't know what I did wrong
to lose him in the first place.  David was peeing in a urinal and I took
the urinal immediately to his left and glanced over as he was peeing, he
was semi- hard, which of course made me completely hard by the time I
finished urinating.
	David started to say something before I stopped him and asked him
why he was ignoring me.  He stuttered around and then stated that he
couldn't deal with everyone knowing that he was gay, that he couldn't live
that life.  A life where you are constantly made fun of and in fear for
your safety.  I asked him if he still loved me, and he said he did and
before he could move or say anything else I kissed him squarely on the lips
very passionately.  About halfway through the kiss he gave up trying to
fight me off and started to kiss me back.  I started to rub his rock hard
penis through his underwear as he moaned into my mouth.  He pulled me into
a stall as he started to undo my pants and when he had them undone he broke
the kiss falling to his knees taking my cock in his mouth and started to
suck my cock like there was no tomorrow.  I think I came in less than two
minutes in his mouth and we shared my cum before I sat on the toilet seat
and he fucked my mouth cumming hard in my throat.
	After we gained our composure we both zipped up and went back to
class.  We were asked what took so long and David lied and said that I
almost fainted and he stayed with me until I returned back to normal.
That's funny I never knew I was normal.  Class flew by and David actually
started talking to me again and told me to come over to his house after
school so we could talk.  David started to treat me like he used to before
we ever did anything sexual together which made me happy, in fact I was on
top of the world and Jason looked a bit hurt at lunch time (I could see it
in his eyes) but we still talked and joked around like we have since David
and I broke up.
	I went home angry and heart broken at David for the way he treated
me but also in utter happiness over him and I having some boyfriend type
interaction together.  I put some Nine Inch Nails (to be referred to as NIN
from now on) the album "Broken".  The angry of the music expressed the
furry in my mind and heart as I thought about David.  Why didn't he push me
away in the bathroom if he didn't want to be with me?  Was it just his fear
pushing me away or did he over analyze the situation when we weren't
together and determine that he was better off without me?  I pondered these
questions with my stereo (okay boombox) blaring NIN while I drifted off to
sleep dreaming of the incident in the boys room today.
	I woke up in the late evening, the music had long ended and for
some reason I felt guilty for what happened today between David and I.  I
could hear my old preacher from Chicago tell me as well as the congregation
about the great Gay sin that was spreading across the planet, and unless we
wanted the fury of heaven to rein down upon our great nation we had to stop
the queers.  We had to cure the gay people of their internal afflictions,
apparently to him and a lot of people being gay are a choice.  If God made
everything in the universe, then why was he punishing me with my thoughts
and feelings?  Many Christians would state that it is Satan that is
tempting my young soul and I must resist the urges of any type of sex until
I get married to a woman.  Didn't God also create Satan?  How can God the
creator of all purposely create another being to tempt you into sin?  Isn't
that entrapment?  Isn't God an all loving, all forgiven being?
	My mother calling up the steps for me broke me from my thoughts and
revelations.  Surprisingly she hasn't dragged me into church yet down here
to listen to more of the same repugnant and relentless anti-gay bashing.  I
answered to tell her that I was up and I would be down in a minute, I
needed to relieve myself.
	I went downstairs and into the kitchen where I almost started to
ask my mother the questions I just pondered upstairs before I thought
better of it.  Was she going to try and cure me of my gayness?  Did she
believe what she was being told in church?  She noticed that I was
apparently deep in thought and asked me if I wanted to talk to her about
anything and I told her that I didn't feel like talking.  She asked me how
my day went and I repeated that I didn't feel like talking.  She told me
that she didn't get me and why I had to make everything so dramatic and
difficult on myself.  That's a nice thing to hear from my mother, maybe she
is thinking of sending me away to a clinic.
	She started to tell me about work and talked about world events
while I ate the dinner she reheated for me.  She's been pretty good about
letting me alone when I'm in my room sleeping or crying or moping.  Maybe
she doesn't know how to deal with me?  I guess I haven't been one of those
good kids like you see the reruns on TV, like the Brady Bunch or something.
	I still find it hard to swallow that I'll my Dad's best man at his
wedding, guilt can be a powerful force and my mother knew how to use it.
By the way my Dad's wedding was on March 21st, it was now a little over
three months away and I dreaded the day coming.  It's like being in a bad
dream where you are being hunted by the grim reaper and the faster you run
forward the farther behind in life you get.  Nothing you do is right; every
turn leads you closer to losing your life, that's how I feel about my dad
getting married.  I know it's grim, but how can I share these thoughts with
my mother?  She'd think that I was crazy and I might be a wacko but I don't
want my mother to know that I'm that delusional.
	The phone rang and my mother answered, I never bothered anymore
since it was rarely for me anyhow.  It was David and my mother greeted him,
asking him how he was and how his day at school went.  She handed the phone
to me waking me from my daydreaming (or should I call it a day nightmare).
I spoke with David and he asked if he could come over and I told him that
it should be okay that I was pretty caught up with homework.  I hung up the
phone and finished eating a much more normal pace than I was eating, if you
could call it eating before I spoke with David.  She asked if we were back
together and I told her that I thought that we were but I honestly didn't
know.  She thought that it was so cute that I was blushing and I told her
to stop teasing me as she started to tickle and rub my back.  It was a good
mom-son moment for the both of us.
	I placed my dishes in the sink and ran up the steps to comb my hair
and brush my teeth.  David was coming over!  Maybe he was feeling better
about dating me and we could be boyfriends again.  That would be so
awesome; I still love him so much that it hurts.  I admit I was buzzing a
bit when the doorbell rang so I bounded down the steps almost running into
my mother.  She mentioned that she hasn't seen me this excited in a while,
of course that caused me to blush a little and she kissed me on the
forehead.  I opened the door and kissed David on the lips before he had a
chance to step in with my mother standing behind me.  She cleared her
throat to remind me that she was still there.
	David came in and greeted her with a hug, which I thought was
really cool, it seemed like he was part of the family at that point.  My
mother asked if we were getting back together again and I turned very dark
crimson red as she giggled going into the kitchen asking if we wanted
something to drink.  I honestly couldn't say anything but David said that
Coke would be fine for the both of us.  He gave me a look that didn't state
that he was pleased; okay I guess I got in trouble for kissing him on the
way in.  Why did he have to worry so much about someone knowing that he was
gay?  I whispered to him that I would explain everything to him up in my
room.
	After we received the pop from my mom we went up to my room where I
closed the door and sat down on the bed looking at the carpet.  He sat next
to me on the bed and asked why I told my mother about him and I, and why
did I kiss him in front of her.  I could hear the anger and hurt in his
voice and I was choked up as I began to tell him the answers he wanted to
know.  I told him that she guessed about me being gay and about us before
Christmas and she knew when we broke up because it hurt so bad that I
couldn't function.  That all I could do is cry and stay in bed, I didn't
eat and couldn't sleep unless I was totally exhausted.  I noticed his
demeanor change from anger and hurt to being more sympathetic about the
situation.  Heck I even dropped a tear or two while telling him.
	Dave hugged me stating that he understood and that he never meant
to hurt me and that is why he came over to talk tonight.  He told me that
he wanted to be my boyfriend but we had to appear as friends in public and
around his family, that no one could find out that he was gay.  He said it
was okay that my mother knew but she couldn't tell anyone and I told him
not to worry about her that she wouldn't tell.  We hugged again and held
each other as the ice in our pop melted away watering down the pop.
	I guess I was crying but not because I was sad, but I was so happy
that he wanted to be my boyfriend, I still had him in my life and he wanted
to be with me.  At first he didn't understand why I was crying so I had to
tell him that it wasn't because I was sad and he finally understood.  He
told me to stop being such a drama queen and I told him to stop teasing me
and to kiss me.  We started to make out, sucking on each others tongues
when I heard my mother knock at the door.  Damn can't she just let me alone
for a while...  I got up off the bed obviously very hard and opened the
door for a crack and she told me that she wanted to talk to the both of us.
	She told me to sit beside her as she sat between David and I taking
our hands in hers.  She sighed at first before she started to talk; I think
she was trying to gather up the courage, I know I'd be if I was in her
situation.  She told David that she would never tell anyone that either one
of us were gay ever, no matter what happened between us.  She started to
give us a sex talk telling us that she can't watch us every moment of every
day and that boys will be boys and are prone to having sex before they are
even out of high school, but she wanted to make sure that we had safe sex
if we did.  She told the both of us that having sex, not oral sex, but sex
was a very intimate thing that is very special and should be with someone
you truly love.  I guess I was turning a few shades of red and so was
David, mom told us not to be embarrassed, that someone had to talk to the
both of us to make sure that we wouldn't get into serious trouble.  She
stated that she knew that none of the school districts ever discussed gay
sex and that it would be difficult for a teacher to cover with the anti-gay
sentiment that seems to be propelling itself constantly through our
country, but she felt that she had to give us the education that our school
refused to give us.
	I guess by the time my mother was through giving us the sex
lecture, both David and I was not as excited as we were before she talked
to us.  She grabbed us in a big hug and told us that she loved us and only
wanted the best for us, and that we can talk to her about anything anytime
anywhere.  That she would never abandon us and would protect us in anyway
that she could.  My mom then got up and gave David and I some alone time
after she had us both promise to talk to her first before we decided to
have anal sex.  At first I was a bit shocked that she'd be so forward
asking for us to promise her but maybe she knew something that we didn't
know.  After she was out of the room, David told me how cool it must be to
have a mother like her.  I admit that I was looking at him like he was the
weirdest person on the planet, but no one at my age thinks their mother is
cool unless they are a total dork.  Okay so I'm a total dork and I still
don't think she's that cool, give me break already, my mother just talked
about sex with me and my boyfriend.  How much weirder can things get?
	David and I resumed our making out and I had my hand down his
trousers feeling his stiff member when my mother called up the steps that
maybe David should be going home since it was getting late.  I asked her if
he could spend the night and she said it was okay with her as long as it
was okay with his mother.  We went downstairs together holding hands with
flushed faces as he took the phone and called home.  His mother said that
it was okay but not to make a habit of sleepovers in the middle of the week
or that his dad would have his hide, he was out of town on a business
meeting, which is the only reason David was allowed to sleepover.  As soon
as David hung up my mom told us that we needed to get a good night's sleep
and if she heard too much commotion coming from my room that she'd make me
sleep with her.  Nice way to humiliate me mom in front of my boyfriend.
Sometimes she can be the smartest person ever and other times she doesn't
have a clue.
	It was nine o'clock and I told my mom that we are going to bed now
and that we should be asleep soon.  David and I went to our room and I lent
him some pajamas and he told me that he was sleeping in his boxers or nude.
I told him either was okay as I pulled him in to me and kissed him
passionately on the lips with our tongues fighting for dominance.  I guess
I was a bit feistier than normal because he relented and I was on top of
him as we were making out, normally he's on top.  Before I know it David
and I are rubbing each other's cocks through our underwear and we are both
pre-cumming pretty bad.  We slide each other's shorts off and sixty-nine
each other.  I love the texture of his cock as I pleasure him and receive
the same from him.  We are both moaning but we are muffled by each other's
cock and the humming makes the blowjob feel even better.  Within five
minutes we both shoot our love into each other's willing mouth, both
swallowing and enjoying the seed of our lover.  After we are done, we get
under the covers and snuggle up with each other; it feels so great as I
drift off to sleep.
	I guess mom turned the light off and tucked us both in, I guess
she's decided to adopt David, lol.  The next morning I wake up early on my
own and go use the rest room.  It is so hard to pee with morning wood.  I
come back into the room and purposely wake him by accident hoping that we
can give head to each other before we have to get ready to go to school.
David kind of groans and tells me that he'll give me head in the bathroom
before homeroom to let him sleep.  I obey his wish and fall back asleep.


If you like this story series so far, you may want to read my other fiction
story series:

(They are probably archived in a previous year or so, please do a find on
them...)

Gay --> high school --> Music Store Teens
Bi --> college --> College Firsts

Any non-flamer feedback is welcome, email me at jaykool74@hotmail.com