Date: Sat, 3 May 2014 00:15:13 -0400 (EDT) From: Erik Pruett Subject: Please Don't Go 10 (Young Friends) The regular warnings apply. Don't read this if it offends you, or if it's illegal to do so. Hello. Thanks to everyone who's written me so far, I really do read every message and appreciate the regular correspondence I've developed with a few of you. A special hello goes out to a wonderful Russian lady and her lovely wife in the big bad city. Congratulations on the marriage. Having said that, it's on the the next chapter. Enjoy. --- Every year Jaime's family goes on a trip just before the end of the summer holiday and the beginning of the new school year. Usually they decide upon the beaches in California, and I've always been invited along. Jaime's father is a very successful lawyer, so money has never been an issue for them. His family thinks nothing of burning through thousands just for a week along the shore. But being that this was our last summer before high school, Jaime's parents thought we ought to celebrate with a 'special vacation'. Central Texas isn't known as a hub of culture and refinement, and while Austin is quite a bit more dynamic than the rest of the Lone Star state, it's hardly a multicultural locale. One thing that Texas does have in spades, though, is Spanish speakers. Jaime never made more than B's and C's in Spanish class, but I always made easy A's in honors Spanish. In restaurants when we'd all go out together, I'd often speak Spanish with the native speakers. I'd always loved the Latin influences I discovered after moving to Texas from Hawaii, and given my propensity for the language, Jaime's parents decided that we'd be vacationing in Spain. Needless to say, Jaime and I were beside ourselves with excitement. If we'd known then how our week in Spain would play out, we might have felt differently. --- Ten minutes to midnight, our flight leaves at seven tomorrow morning and still neither Jaime nor I have even begun packing yet for the trip. For hours he's been on the phone chatting with Veronica, who's been comically distraught over the thought of sitting in Austin while he and I are in Spain. I've been sitting on the bed reviewing my Spanish books and trying my best to ignore their conversation. It makes my head ache. "It's only gonna' be a week, baby", I hear Jaime say for the thousandth time tonight. I roll my eyes and sigh. Honestly, I think to myself, how does a person get so upset over a week apart? She's far too dramatic. But then, would I be so much different if I was the one being left behind? I find myself seething with jealousy every time Jaime and Veronica go out on a date, and he isn't even mine. Maybe I'm passing judgments a bit too quickly. I return to my Spanish textbooks and Shakira songs, feeling a bit guilty at having been short with Veronica, if only in my head. "Come on, baby. It ain't gonna' be that bad!" he says, also for the thousandth time, dropping himself backward onto the bed in frustration. He's just in boxers and a tank top. I can't help but be distracted by the sight of his thighs, strong and tanned, all but completely exposed. Every day for the past two months of summer vacation, I've been acquainting myself more and more with the details of Jaime's body. From the strong thighs to his tight abdomen, his broad chest to his muscular back, his round glutes and powerful arms. Every part of him has begun to fill out, tighten up, reflecting more and more the athlete Jaime is. And though I've finally caught up to him in height, the two of us standing taller than most of the other guys in school, my body has remained slender, albeit more athletic than it had before the start of the summer holiday. I have to wonder if he thinks about how intimately he's come to know my body the way I think about how I've come to know his. We've caressed and tasted one another at least one hundred times just in these past two months. I could identify the taste of Jaime's seed as easily as I could vanilla ice cream or roast beef. His smell is to me as distinctive as any cologne, and I could identify the feeling of his skin blindfolded. But for all of that familiarity, I'm still no closer to possessing his heart, the way he possesses mine, than when he and I began our relationship, if you can even call it that. He whispers the sweetest things to me when we're together, kisses me tenderly, holds me tightly against him every night... but it's not real. Not the way I want it to be, need it to be. I'm not stupid. I know that I shouldn't be involving myself in this. It's not fair to me, or even to him. It's wrong even, to allow him to betray Veronica. I know I should tell him that I can't maintain this way, but after so many years waiting and hoping, having any part of Jaime is better than just having his friendship. A few times I've even tried to resist, tried to tell him how I really feel and what I really crave from him, but the words have always faded before leaving my mouth. "You want to help me start packing?" Jaime asks, though it takes me a few seconds to realize that the question was addressed to me. "Sure", I reply with a shrug. I put my things down and start going about the process of helping Jaime decide upon which shirts, shorts, and boxers to pack. His wardrobe is hardly varied; almost all of it is American Eagle boxers and socks, shirts and shorts from Underarmor, and dirty athletic shoes. "I'm really looking forward to the trip", Jaime chimes in as he folds the clothing I toss to him and shoves it into his suitcase. "Yeah man, me too." "It's gonna' be so cool, partying in Spain!" "Don't think we'll be doing much partying, dummy. We're fourteen." "No way. Don't you watch the movies? Europe is like one big party, all the time." I roll my eyes, unable to muster the ardor for this conversation. Another unfortunate side effect of this ongoing love triangle we're involved in: in addition to getting short with Veronica, more and more lately I've been finding myself at odds with Jaime over the tiniest things. Where once I would joke and laugh with him, now I shut down. I feel ridiculous, like a moody girl on her period, but I can't stop myself. I sigh. "You okay?" he asks, and I realize that I've been staring into space. "Yeah, I'm fine", I mumble. "Liar", he responds. His tone is playful, but that's misleading. He's prying. Normally I would just begin playing the part of the happy best friend, but for whatever reason, tonight the urge just to be honest swells up in me. The words spill out before I've even processed them. "I'm the liar? I'm not the asshole splitting his time between his girlfriend and his... gosh, I don't even know what to call myself. Your sideline? Your plan B? You tell the both of us that you're in love after we're done blowing you, but I'm the liar? What are you then? His facial expression, deer-in-the-headlights, speaks volumes. I immediately regret having opened my mouth in the first place. "I'm your best friend, Sash.... you're my best friend. And I do love you --" I cut him off. "Shut up!" I scream. "God damn you! Shut up." I know there are tears already running down my face; my body has an extraordinary talent for betraying me. "You are such a fucking jerk, it's unbelievable!" I grab a handful of shirts from his drawer and throw them at him. He doesn't even attempt to dodge them. "Sasha, calm down", he says to me in an even, gentle tone. This is what I hate the most: he can always remain patient and soft, no matter what I do. Even when I'm raging at him, telling him exactly what he deserves to hear, he treats me so gingerly that my fire is doused and I lose the strength my anger provides me. "No, I'm not going to calm down", I spit the words out of my mouth like venom. "Do you have any idea how horrible you are? You can't keep doing this! Veronica doesn't deserve that..." My voice fades and silence reassumes sovereignty over our room. I'm breathless from my outburst. Jaime's staring at me, I'm staring at the ground. This is always the next step; first comes anger, then the outrage, then embarrassment. And next... "Sasha, I don't want to hurt you..." "But you do!" I shout. "You hurt me every fucking day!" "But I don't want to! You just don't get it..." I roll my eyes. Scoff. "What? What don't I get, Jaime? That you're so selfish about getting your dick wet that you'll string Vee and I along shamelessly? That you're too much of a jerk to even tell her?" I'm aware of what a prick I'm being, what a drama queen. Jaime and his family took me in after the accident and have kept me since my father has been away in recovery. They've kept me fed and cared for. He's shared his bed with me for ages. And if I only had the integrity, I could just refuse sharing myself with him. But integrity is a much quieter voice than desire. "Don't you get that this isn't easy for me either?" his voice finally begins to rise. "It ain't like I woke up and decided I'd fuck over my best friend. I know what you want, Sash. I've known since we were twelve. You think I'd be sleeping with you if I didn't want it too? I'm breathless, helplessly caught someplace between fury, sorrow, surprise, lust. He never fails to put me off balance. If ever there was a reason to hate him, that would be it. "If you want me, why won't you just take me?!" I roar, no longer able to muster the ardor for anger. I'm just desperate. I drop to my knees in front of him and start to sob. A second later he's kneeling beside me, arms wrapped around me. He presses my face into his chest and rocks me. "It's not that easy, Sash. Don't you understand? I told you once... I can't.. I can't be gay. I just can't. I love you and I want you, but we could never be together that way. People can never find out. Think about what would happen if they did." "I don't care about people", I croack softly, "I just want you. All of you. I love you Jaime. I've loved you for such a long time and it's so goddamn exhausting." "Oh Sasha... I know what you're thinking, but there's not going to be a happy ending for us. Life's not like that. We wouldn't just get to be happy." He's right, and I know he's right. We'd never be accepted together, not by his parents or by our friends. School would be Hell. He's absolutely right. But hearing those words burns so terribly. I push him off me and sit back down on the bed. "If you won't take me, why won't you just let me be?" I ask, pouting. He sits down beside me, begins kissing along my neck. When his hand slips beneath the waistband of my sweatshorts and underwear and begins to stroke along the bare skin of my ass, I have to whimper. "I can't have you in public, but when we're alone I can make you mine", he whispers into my ear before nibbling my earlobe between his front teeth. I shiver. "J-Jaime, we've... got to pack", I attempt to protest. We both know it's futile. His middle finger slides between my cheeks, finds my hole and begins to massage. I moan loudly. The finger is wet and feeling is electrifying. "I still haven't done it with Veronica yet", he whispers. "I wanted to lose my virginity with the person I love most" My heart is breaking, and as he finished whispering his finger suddenly presses a bit hard and sinks halfway into my hole. I shout. "I can't... please..." Jaime presses his finger the rest of the way into me and again I shout out again. It's a sensation I've never experienced before, a pleasure I never realized I could feel. I whimper again softly as his other hand pulls the sweatshorts and trunks off of me. He lies me on my back, spreads my legs and sits himself between them. My dick is throbbing, already drooling precum. "Ready for another finger?" He asks. I groan and shudder, shake my head yes. His middle finger already buried inside of me, next he places his ring finger against my hole and forces it all the way in beside the other in one hard, swift motion. I cry out in pain. "Shhh... just relax, okay baby? Just relax, it'll feel better." I want to tell him not to call me baby, the name he's already given Veronica. But then the two fingers inside of me start massaging in a circular motion inside of me. All I can do is moan. His fingers work circles inside of me for what feels like ages. Slowly, all the tension and resistance within me crumbles away. I relax and succumb. Soon my body is squirming with pleasure as his fingers make circles more and more quickly. And then it happens. He slides them out almost all the way, then thrusts them back in all the way to the knuckle. I've never moaned more loudly in all my life. My eyes go wide. "Do you like that?" he asks in a husky voice. "More", is all I can manage as a reply. He begins fingering me again. At first he takes it slow, taking a few seconds each time to slide them out before thrusting them back in, but then the tempo grows faster and faster. Soon he's fingering me aggressively while my head rolls from side to side and my throbbing hardness jumps and leaks precum all over my smooth belly. The pleasure builds and builds to unendurable heights without orgasm. Finally he fingers my ass so hard that he forces an orgasm from me. My dick blasts load after load of cum all over my stomach, chest, a load or two even splatters over my face. I scream with pleasure and the world around me blacks out. --- When I wake up, I'm naked beneath the covers, cuddled gingerly atop Jaime's naked body. He's got one hand stroking my hair, the other stroking my ass. It feels so nice that I nearly fall back asleep, but then I realize we still haven't packed. "Jaime?" "Good morning babydoll", Jaime whispers before kissing my forehead. "W-what time is it?" I ask, blushing. "How long have I been asleep?" "Just half an hour or so. You sorta' fainted when we, you know..." "Oh gosh", I grumble, hiding my face in his chest. He spanks my bare ass suddenly, making me jump. "Hey!" He giggles. "Sorry, couldn't help it. You've got such a sexy ass, Sash." My cheeks are burning scarlet the way they used to when I was younger and he would smile at me, directly at me. I feel so childish, but in a positive way. Something feels different. "I packed our junk and cleaned you up, by the way. Figured you'd be a little exhausted when you finally work up, so I just took care of it." "Thanks", I mumble. I lay my head back down, gently kiss his chest. In the back of my mind, the usual hurricane of thoughts is raging, but for once I'm able to let it go. Everything feels so lovely, I just want to melt into the moment and have my peace, if only shortly. "Sash?" "Yeah?" "I meant what I said, you know. I really haven't slept with Vee." My heart skips a beat. "Jaime..." "You're the person I love most in the world. And I want you to be the one I lose my virginity with. I want us to lose ours together." I move myself up a bit, press my lips into his and kiss him passionately, tears in my eyes. It isn't the faerie tale ending I used to dream about. It doesn't mean that he'll give up Veronica and take me as his one and only. It doesn't mean that anything is any better than it was before the fight. But he loves me most, and that means more to me than anything else ever could. And so I fall asleep cuddled against his chest, my arms around his neck, my face resting between his neck and shoulder, the two of us nude, skin to skin. And for the first time in longer than I care to remember, my chest doesn't feel so hollow.