Date: Sun, 6 Jan 2013 18:32:19 -0500 (EST) From: Erik Pruett Subject: Please Don't Go (7) - Young Friends The regular warnings apply. Don't read this if it offends you, or if it's illegal to do so. So, the last installment marked what I suppose can be called the beginning of part two of this story. It's a pretty surreal feeling, having kept up with this long enough to be making some measurable progress. I want to thank everyone for their continued support, for all the kind messages, for really everything. When I started writing this story, I was doing it for myself, to work through feelings and issues that life wasn't gracious enough to resolve for me. And while this story is still my own little attempt at self-therapy, it's grown into something bigger, that I get to share with you all, and that's a nice feeling. Anyway, sappiness aside, on to chapter seven. --- Lately, I've been feeling less and less in control of, well, everything about my life. There's still another month left in the school year, and with summer just around the corner I've been feeling that creeping sense of finality getting closer and closer. It really doesn't make any sense. I have a girlfriend, I have all my friends' numbers in my phone, and my best friend lives with me. Really nothing should be changing, save for the marked increase in free time and the sweltering hot weather. But still it feels a bit like I'm losing my grip on all of the people around me. It's Friday night, and for the first time in a few weeks, Veronica and I aren't going out anywhere. She's off with her mother and little sister on some weekend trip to San Antonio, and as much as I enjoy hanging out with her, having the weekend off is admittedly pretty refreshing. But with the weekend free, I knew exactly who I'd be making plans with. I walk through the door on Friday afternoon after getting off the bus, and Sasha still isn't home yet. It's not surprising, he always walks home so I figure I've got maybe thirty minutes before he's back, so immediately I get to work. I rush to my room, strip my clothes off as soon as the door is shut and start scouring my closet for the nicest outfit I can pick out. My wardrobe isn't exactly designer, but I settle on a nice green tee from Express that Sash got me on my last birthday. He said it matched my eyes. I pair it up with the only nice pair of jeans I own, even though it's in the upper 90's outside, and slip on an undirtied pair of white sneakers. Hardly a runway outfit, but compared to my usual athletic clothes, it's practically Gucci. I put a tiny bit of mousse in my hair, mess it up with my hands so it looks like I just got out of bed. Sash once told me he thought my hair looked nicest that way. And as I'm inspecting my face in the mirror it occurs to me; I've never worried over my looks before. I've been going on dates with Veronica since I was twelve, and not once did I ever look in a mirror. So why am I so worried about it now? I shake the thought from my head, finish cleaning my face and go to the kitchen to get some water. As I pour myself a glass, I hear the front door open and shut. Sash comes walking into the kitchen, golden lockes strewn about his face and shoulders haphazardly, his heather grey tank top hanging loosely from those tiny shoulders. "Welcome home", I greet him with a smile. He smiles back, his whole face lighting up the way it does whenever he smiles. It's beautiful. "Happy Friday", he chirps, before looking me up and down. "Wow, you look... really nice. You and Veronica going someplace special tonight?" "Well, she's actually away this weekend." He looks at me, a little curiously. "Oh. Well, you still look really nice. Any special plans?" "Actually, I was thinking you and I could go out", I reply in as confident a voice as I can muster. The expression on his face when I say it, he looks genuinely shocked. There's no reason why I should be nervous. So why are my hands shaking? "I mean, only if you're not busy already", I add quickly. For a moment he just stares at me, looking pensive and curious as though he's trying to figure out what exactly my plan is. I almost want to laugh, because quite frankly, I'm wondering the same exact thing. "Sure", he finally says with a smile. "I'd love to. Where are we going?" --- It's five o'clock in the afternoon when we finally leave. After twenty or so minutes of cajoling, my mother agreed to giving me an advance on next week's allowance as well as this one, and she even dropped us off in Austin downtown. Since his father's been away, Sash has been getting a weekly stipend from his dad's bank account which he seldom spends, so the two of us take to the streets with more money in our pockets than any two fourteen year olds should have. He didn't change after he got home, but I guess he really didn't have to. In a slim pair of dark jeans, that heather grey tank top still hanging off his shoulders, he just seems graceful in a way I can't put my finger on. His golden mane is pulled back into some kind of messy bun, with strands of hair falling out, framing his face. His sparkling blue eyes. His full, pouty lips. The slight blush in his cheeks. "Jaime?", his voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I realize that I'm staring. "Sorry... just uhh, a little lost in my head", I reply awkwardly, blushing with frustration at the way my head keeps getting away from me. He just smiles back. "It's okay. So, where are we going?" "It's a surprise", I reply teasingly. He pouts a little. I give him a friendly shove, and he shoves me back. "C'mon, tell meeee!" I stick my tongue out. "Nope. Now come on, if we miss the bus my whole schedule will be ruined." I grab him by the hand, lace my fingers in between his. Immediately his face goes a deeper shade of red and his eyes drop to the ground; it's almost painfully adorable. I drag him to the bus stop, tell him to cover his eyes so he can't see where we're going. The bus is crowded, and we're pushed up against eachother. He falls a little against my chest, and I put my hands over his eyes so he can't cheat. Just like before, he goes rigid for a second, then relaxes. And just like before, my stomach starts tingling. Finally, the bus reaches are stop, and without taking my hands off of his eyes, we get off and walk a few feet forward. "Can I see yet?", Sash asks, his voice a mixture or sweetness and impatience. It's too cute to say no to. "Go for it", I reply, and take my hand from his face. When he opens his eyes, his face immediately lights up happily. "Barton Springs?" I shrug. "Figured it'd be a nice place to beat the heat. You've been wanting to come here, haven't you?" I already knew the answer. Over the past week, I'd heard him mention wanting to go at least five times whilst talking to friends in the hallway. I'm cheating, technically, but I can't say I really feel bad about it. Seeing Sash smile like he was, I couldn't feel anything but happy. "Yeah! How'd you know?" "Intuition", I reply teasingly, trying to fake smug. Without warning, Sasha leans forward and plants a kiss right on my cheek. Just like that, the tables are turned, and I'm the one blushing. He gives me a shy smile. "Thanks Jaime", he says, his tone sweet enough to give you a cavity. "Don't mention it. Come on!", I reply, before grabbing his hand again and dragging him happily into a sunny afternoon by the water. --- By the time seven o'clock, the two of us are about out of steam. After a few hours of goofing off in the water, running around, really just having fun, we're both prety exhausted. So we return the swim suits we rented and quickly shower up in the locker room before getting redressed. As we're walking out, Sasha is all smiles. "That was nice, dude. I haven't had that much fun in a while." I smile. "Hey, don't sound so sleepy, the day ain't done yet." "It isn't?", he asks curiously. His face perks up with interest. "No way. We still have dinner, dude. We both have money, I was thinking we'd go someplace nice, ya know?" "Not one to waste an outfit, huh", he teases, sticks his tongue out at me. I give him a friendly shove. "This is like, the first time I've gone out in nice clothes, man. We've gotta' celebrate." He laughs. "Jaime... I'm wearing a tank top and my hair looks awful", he says even as he starts pulling it quickly back up into another one of those loose buns. "Awful? You look damn good, dude." He pauses for a second, surprised. "Shut up", he replies in an embarrassed tone, starts chewing his bottom lip. The way he looks, the late afternoon sun casting rays lighting up his face, wispy strands of golden hair hanging out. No human should look so angelic. I feel that tingling feeling come back hard, so I take a breath and force it back down. You have a girlfriend, I tell myself. You ain't supposed to be eyeing up your best friend. But that thought doesn't seem like much more than a whisper compared to the much louder voice in my head, singing Sasha's praises. For weeks now, those two voices have been competing in my head, causing me to lose more sleep than I'd care to over those stupid identity questions. I mean, I'm a boy. I'm supposed to like girls, not be swooning over my best friend, right? I have a girlfriend, have had the same one since I was twelve. I'm supposed to be satisfied, right? So why is it that more ad more these days, I find myself thinking about Sash, staring at Sash, even having dreams about him? Maybe because he's living with me. Or because we sleep beside one another, or because I know he's in love with me. Maybe this is all just because Veronica's out of town. It's too much to think about, especially on such a nice day. "It'll be fun, dude. Just trust me?" His mouth moves a bit, like he's struggling to get out what he really wants to say, and finally he just sighs heavily and smiles. "Where are we going?" --- We end up going to one of the nicer restaurants in downtown Austin, a really sleek Japanese restaurant with a cool atmosphere and amazing food. For a little over an hour we're there; eating, talking, laughing, really just catching up. Though he's been living in my house, even sleeping in bed next to me, this is the first time we really made any strides toward filling the void between us. By the time we finish eating our desserts, it feels like our old closeness is coming back to us again, and I'm reveling in the feeling. After dinner, I call my mother to pick us up, but she and my father are out with some friends and won't be back until long after midnight. Lazy fourteen year olds though we may be, Sash and I opt to walk home, not really talking but rather enjoying eachother's company the whole way back. When finally we arrive at my house, it's dark out, and getting cold. And as we enter the house, I an idea pops into my head. "Hey, my parents won't be back home for like... five more hours, dude. You wanna' drink some of their liquor?"