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Some people would call this porno. I don't think it is.
It is no worse than the cable news. Perhaps you should judge for yourself...
Letters please jet2larkin [ at ] g mail [ d o t ] com (2009 copyright by Larkin)
Pooky's Little Egg
"Pooky Cloverfield come up here right now!"
His teacher, Ms. Edelman had a stern expression on her face. She was in no mood for this. The rest of the class was silent and watched Pooky walk to the head of the of his third grade class.
"You know the rules about listening to an Ipod or a walkman in class. It belongs in your locker. Now give it to me!"
Apparently she had seen the wire hanging out from under his shirt tail. She tugged on the wire that led into Pooky's pocket.
She held out her hand. "Give it to me please."
Pooky handed her a smooth pink battery pack. "Let me have the earphones please."
He answered her. "It don't have any earphones."
"Well give me the rest of it."
With his back to the class, pulled down his pants and when he began pulling down his underpants the whole class began laughing.
Ms. Edelman yelled, "Stop!"
Then she yelled at the class, "Quiet!"
Ms. Edelman was generally feared so the class immediately went silent. "Be quiet and stay quiet until I get back from the office."
She led Pooky out of the room holding the pink battery pack with the wire attached to Pooky as if it was a leash.
Ms. Horowitz the principal was a stern woman in the same manner as Ms. Edelman. Both women towered over poor Pooky who knew he was in trouble but wasn't sure why. Ms. Edelman passed the battery pack to Ms. Horowitz. She examined it and pushed the little pink switch. Instantly, Pooky started giggling and would stop. She clicked the switch and Pooky miraculously stopped his giggling. When she clicked it again he started giggling again and she quickly turned it off and he stopped. The boy's giggling was unsettling to both women and it seemed to cause each of them pain and discomfort.
Horowitz's eyes followed the wire that appeared to go under Pooky's
shirt. Working as a team, Ms. Edelman lifted the boy's shirt. The wire in
question went down into the back of his pants. Ms. Horowitz lowered Pooky's pants and saw that the wire continued down into his
underpants. When she lowered the boy's underpants the wire appeared to go
directly into his rectum. Pooky was made to bend over
a chair and Ms. Edelman spread Pooky's behind so the
Ms. Horowitz could get to the bottom of this problem
She pulled on the wire and it went taut. She pulled harder. Apparently whatever it was Pooky wasn't giving it up easily.
Still holding onto the wire she spoke softly to Pooky. "Pooky, please help us get this out."
Now when she pulled on the wire he would back up lessening the tension making it more difficult for Ms. Horowitz to accomplish her objective. One has to admire Pooky's courage in the face of such odds.
"Ms. Edelman, would you please hold Pooky in place while I try to get this whatever it is out."
This time she pulled as hard as she could even giving out an audible grunt. Pooky was holding on too but he was beginning to lose the battle. The same color as the battery pack, a pink orb began to emerge from Pooky's rectum. Suddenly it popped out altogether and fell to the floor. One woman gave distressed cry but it isn't certain which one.
"Ms. Edelman, Hand me a Kleenex!"
From the open box on Ms. Horowitz's desk, she quickly pulled one out and gave it to Ms. Horowitz then went back and in a flurry, pulled out many more in case they were needed. Pooky was allowed pull up his underpants and pants. Ms. Horowitz held the dangling egg by the wire in a Kleenex sheathed hand.
She looked puzzled and then said, "Pooky, what is it?"
Without hesitation, he said, "It a vibrating egg."
Sex in the lives of both of these women was only a distant memory and many cultural advances in this area had gone unnoticed to them.
"Well what was it doing in your rectum?"
Pooky shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know."
The device in question was put into the top desk drawer and Pooky was sent home with a note that required a school visit from Pooky's Mother, Ms. Cloverfield.
Star Cloverfield was a very attractive and personable woman. She was proud of her two sons, Pooky, 8, and Dusty, 10 and was well aware that sometimes they could be a handful. In spite of anything and everything, she loved them totally and completely.
Facing the stern Ms. Horowitz sitting behind her desk could be intimidating but these were two women who couldn't be more different.
Star smiled and introduced herself. "I'm Star Cloverfield but you can call me Star, all my friends do.
"You may call me Ms. Horowitz and I am this school's principal and I have a great deal of responsibility."
This response did not bode well for the meeting between the two. Pushing back from her desk, she opened the top drawer and, Kleenex in hand, lifted out the pink egg device along with its battery pack.
Star knew exactly what it was and gave out an embarrassed laugh. "I knew that sooner or later they would get in trouble with that."
"Do you know what Pooky was doing with this?" She moved it ever so slightly shielding herself with Kleenex.
Star played dumb.
"Ms Cloverfield, your son had this device in his rectum!"
Star Cloverfield sighed and said, "I told him not to take that thing to school."
"Are you saying that he does this at home with you knowledge?!"
"Oh please, I don't watch them every second and boys do things. As long as they are well fed and happy and healthy, that's all I care about."
Ms. Horowitz said, "So you think it is acceptable for an 8 year old to walk around school with a vibrator in his rectum?!"
Star repressed the impulse to laugh but Ms. Horowitz was not amused.
"This is a very serious situation. I decided to wait and talk to you before I brought the police into this situation."
Star realized that this had suddenly become a dire confrontation. "Well, Ms. Horowitz, how did you discover all of this?"
"We don't allow any electronic devices in class other than a calculator. Ms. Edelman thought he had an Ipod and he was sent to me."
Star listened. "Ms. Horowitz, you didn't answer my question."
She said, "I thought I did."
Star's voice was firm, "I said, how did you discover Pooky had it up his ass? Did you see him put it up there?"
Ms Horowitz began to look uncomfortable but was making an effort to conceal it. It is to Star's credit that in defense of her son she zeroed into the gray area surrounding Ms. Horowitz's credibility.
"How exactly did you find out that Pooky had put something up his ass?"
Ms. Horowitz momentarily regained her footing and said firmly. "We followed the wire!"
"You followed the wire all the way up my son's ass and by the way, who is we?"
Ms. Edelman and I, we could never do an investigation like this alone. There has to be another person present for legal reasons."
"Ms. Edelman, is that old bag still teaching?"
"Ms. Edelman is a competent professional."
"In what, dreariness or sadism?"
"This is getting us nowhere, I have to decide if I should have social services do a home inspection to make sure your children are safe. If they are not safe that should be taken away."
As far as Star was concerned this was going to be a battle to the death.
"So you are saying that you and that old biddy, Ms. Edelman took down my son's pants and pulled that egg out of his ass? Which one did it?"
"It not important who did it, it was a health issue. Suppose it was something dangerous or suppose he might be electrocuted. It had to come out. We are responsible for the children's welfare."
Star stood up from her chair and placed both hands on the desk. "I said who did it!"
There was a prolonged silence. Star said, "Did Ms. Edelman do it?!"
Ms. Horowitz stumbled on her words as if she wasn't sure what to say.
"So you did it! You had the perfect opportunity to hang it all on her and you didn't so it was you!" Both women faced each other in a stand-off but it wasn't over.
"If I hear from the State, the police or any public agency, you will hear from my husband's attorney and we will file charges for child molestation and you know how cable news loves stories about school principals getting into trouble!"
Ms. Horowitz was stunned silent.
Star held out her hand in front of Ms. Horowitz. "Give me the egg please and I will be on my way."
Ms. Horowitz Seemed reluctant to part with the device.
"I said, Give me the egg!"
Ms. Horowitz slowly pushed it forward with a crumpled Kleenex.
Star took it and put the pink battery pack, wires and pink egg into her purse.
Before leaving she said, "I've decided to home school my two boys. Would you arrange the paper work for me please." and with that, Star walked out of the principal's office.
When Star arrived home she was greeted by her two happy boys. "Pooky, look what I got!"
She held up the vibrating egg and then tossed it to the two boys. Pooky's brother, Dusty yelled, "Yay!"
Running, jumping and crowing, the two boys disappeared upstairs.
Letters please jet2larkin [ at ] g mail [ d o t ] com