Disclaimer: This is just a story. No more, no less. If any of the events here seem true, trust me that it's not the case. No quickie here (there's soooo many on the web already :P), but the chapters will be short and sort of fast-paced. I do not own anything which has a copyright of its own quoted in here. I only own my life and what goes along with it.

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© MFTH 2014


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Chapter 8 - Un-pause


As much as I have spent so much time asking myself why I liked Felix Corbel, I spent an equal amount of time, if not greater, wondering what was wrong with me.

One question was, `Why do I like Felix Corbel?'

The harder question, however, was, `Why do I have to like Felix Corbel?'

I spent many days and nights thinking if something was wrong with me. It wasn't so much of a question as to what I saw in Felix, but as to what the fuck made me see all that in him. Something was definitely wrong with me. Surely, it wasn't Felix's fault that I ended up liking him. It wasn't his fault that I feared being called gay and admitting that I was.

And, as luck might have it, the question resurfaced when Felix made me feel all tingly by just the timid brush of his lips on mine. But as fast as the question hit me, our kiss ended and I was left staring into Felix's eyes again.

"Don't you have anything to say?" he asked.

"Uhm...I...I don't know," I answered. "Did you just...?"

"I kissed you, yes. You wanted me to, right?"

I nodded and slowly pushed myself away from him, seeing how he must have felt my crotch on his and fearing that I might freak him out.

"Don't worry, Chase," he giggled. "It's normal to get hard."

I blushed from the unbashful comment. It may be normal to get hard, but I didn't think it was normal for me to be turned on by kissing a boy.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "It won't happen again."

"It won't?"

"It won't."

He furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. God, he looked so cute and beautiful.

"I should go home now, don't you think?" he said. "You have a lot of thinking to do."

"I guess. You're not freaked out, are you?"

"Not the slightest." He smiled and I awkwardly returned the gesture.

When I led Felix out the front door, he turned around once more and held my gaze, signalling for me to lean in closer. He ended up whispering something.

"You'll have to work hard for it," he said.

"I what?"

He leaned away and, much louder, said, "I told you already, Chase. I don't like you. If you really mean everything you told me, you'll have to make me believe you. And it won't be easy, I promise."

"Why? I mean...we just kissed and..."

He chuckled and that, somehow, annoyed me. "There is nothing serious about a kiss. It was friendly."

Friendly? But nothing was friendly with our lips touching like that!

"Speak up, Chase. Do something," he added. "Make me like you back."

"What about you?" I countered. "Why don't you have to do anything?"

He smiled and said, "I don't like you. And, unlike you, I don't like boys."

I felt my chest tighten as he pointed out something that I feared my entire life.

"See ya," he mumbled and turned around. Before he set off, he waved back at me and said, "As consolation, that was my first kiss. I wasted that on you."

Felix left more questions that I would've wanted to leave unanswered for so long. However, I knew that I just had to find the answers if I truly wanted for him to like me back. For years, those questions sort of impressed some kind of maturity on my mind. It took all the fun away from the world and left me with a torturing pain deep inside. At 12 years old, all I ever thought was the possibility of me being gay and the anxiety that it brought.

Felix Corbel made me think of things that I wasn't supposed to be thinking at such a young age.

That night, I did what Felix told me to do. Think.

"Think, Chase!" I shouted at myself, burying my face under my pillow and applied as much pressure as I could.

All that pillow pressing on my face did nothing other than to remind me of Felix. I pushed it away and looked at it weirdly as soon as I realized something.

`Why the hell does my pillow smell like Felix?' I thought. Oh, right, Felix did fall on my bed earlier. And he must have fallen on this particular pillow.

Sighing to myself, I pulled the pillow closer to my chest and thought of Felix. Perhaps, he was as soft to hold as this thing.

`Okay,' I told myself. `If I am to hold him like this, I should work hard for him to like me back.'

He did say that he liked me long ago, didn't he? What did he mean by that? What made him change his mind? And did it mean that he was...gay like me?

I don't even like you...anymore.

Yes! He did like me long ago! And now, he gave me a chance to make him like me once again. If Felix did hit stop before I even pressed play, he finally granted me that one sweet chance to hear my song and, maybe, make it both of ours.

I sat up on my bed, looked toward the grid I made on my wall and decided to put more things up there. After some time, I felt satisfied with the plan I had come up with in such a short and drastic time.

Right up on my wall were three names I knew very well. I would've placed their photos instead so I could enjoy marking each one with a big red `X' as soon as I carried out my plan and succeeded.

Dennis, Gregory and Patrick. My soon-to-be ex-friends. I knew right then that I'd make some dangerous enemies, but I was finally willing to risk it all for Felix.

As consolation, that was my first kiss. I wasted that on you.

I'll make Felix see that his first kiss wasn't a wasted one since I was sure that I didn't waste mine on him.

~ End of Chapter ~


I finished my exams last week and my grades just came in an hour ago from when i submitted this...Well, that was a lot off my chest really. I freaking passed my subjects!!!!! XD Now, finally, my mind is at ease and I can get back to what I love...I hope you're all doing swell and you're not 'that' mad at me for keeping you waiting for too long for an update :(

Say hi to me here :D: minutesfortheheart@yahoo.com