The Root Beer Boys
Chapter Seven - Brian's Diary
Wow, diary, what a month this has been. I think we've played more touch football this month than we did the whole months of November and December. It's neat having Tanner as part of our group. He makes number eight so now we have an even number to make up the teams. He is so much fun to have around.
Even if I didn't love him so much, he'd be fun to have as a friend. He's witty and funny and always has this smile on his face. He's just seems so... so... HAPPY all the time. But ya know diary, the smile he has on all the time is different from the smile I see when he looks at me. The smile he gives me almost makes the other one seem fake.
He and I teamed up with Andy and Joey this last time around. That put Aaron with the younger guys, Wayne, Matthew and Tommy. I think Matthew has the hots for Tommy. He's all the time touching him someplace. Not sex touches, but on the arm or shoulder or leg. I been watching them when they huddle up, and Matthew always has his arm laid across Tommy's back. I wonder....
Tanner (God I love that name) has been over to the house a few times. Mom keeps offering to drive over and pick him up or drive him home, but he insists on walking all the time. He claims he needs the exercise, but I don't believe him. Geez, he HAS to have the tightest stomach muscles of all of us. I've never seen him without a shirt, but I've given him a couple of friendly punches in the stomach, so I know how tight it is. And he can't weigh more than 100 pounds, so what's he need the exercise for?
I've never even been to his house. In fact, I still don't have his address or phone number. I've asked a couple of times but he always manages to change the subject and forgets to give them to me. I don't want to push it. Maybe he just doesn't like me enough to have me over to his house. I've been wondering about that, too.
I asked Tanner for his address and phone number again. He tried to change the subject but I wouldn't let him. I almost wish I had. I ended up forcing him to tell me something he didn't want to tell. Boy I feel like an asshole. Ever since Dad went away I've been feeling sorry for myself cause I didn't have a Dad. But all the time I had a great Mom who's always done right by me. Tanner's Dad died in a car wreck a few years ago and his Mom might as well have died with him. The way she treats him is terrible.
I knew that smile of his was fake. Didn't I say that earlier this month, diary? Didn't I say the smile he gave me was different? That's cause his other smile, the one he wears all the time is make believe. He wears it to hide the truth. He's about the saddest kid I know. He should go into acting in college he's so good at pretending.
Tanner was over for dinner the other night, and afterwards we were in my bedroom studying. I started pressuring him on the address thing, and he finally broke down and told me why he wouldn't give it to me. By the time he was finished, he was crying and so was I. Damn! I wish I wasn't so shy. I wanted so bad to hold him and hug him, but I just couldn't get myself to do it. I'm not sure how he feels about me. I mean, I try to send him all the right signals, but he never picks up on any of them. And I'm afraid that if I tell him how I really feel and he doesn't feel the same way, I'll ruin the friendship we DO have. Shit!
I think I'll go tell Mom I love her. It'll probably shock the heck out of her if I do that for no apparent reason, but I promised Tanner I wouldn't tell anybody, not even Mom. I'll talk to you later, di...
We went to the movies tonight. I understand now why we can't go any more often than we do. Tanner just doesn't have the money. But it was great. And not so great, too. Tanner bought the soda and I got the popcorn, a big bucket. All night long our hands touched as we both grabbed for popcorn at the same time. Damn! Sometimes it seems like we're both trying to say the same thing but without using words. And we keep getting screwed up.
Like tonight. Tanner was sitting to my right, so I ate with my left hand so my right hand would be free. I noticed Tanner was eating with his right hand - I guess for the same reason. Every once in a while I'd put my right hand on the armrest between us hoping he'd take it. But every time he touched me, I was so engrossed in the movie that it surprised me and I'd jerk. I guess that scared him or made him think I didn't want to hold hands cause he always pulled away. But I was too chicken to reach out for his hand. I was afraid his touch was accidental.
I think he got a hardon tonight. There was enough light from the movie that I could see the soda cup resting in his lap. It looked like the cup was bumping up and down as though his penis was throbbing under it. That gave me a boner right away. And I mean INSTANTLY. I must have done something to give it away, because every time Tanner reached for popcorn after that, it seemed like he was pushing the bucket down onto my lap harder than necessary.
Every time I'd reach over to take the cup for a drink, our fingers would touch. Pretty soon that just made my dick throb that much more. By the time the movie was over I was so frustrated and had been throbbing so long I was almost in tears. Please God, help me tell Tanner how much I love him.
I dreamed of Tanner last night. It was so cool. We were all by ourselves out in some woods by a stream. It was a sunny spring day with just a few heavy white clouds in the sky. It was warm, not hot, but warm enough to wear shorts and light weight shirts. Tanner had on one of his too-tight T-shirts and a pair of tan shorts that came down to about mid-thigh. I was wearing a short sleeve button-up shirt and cut off jeans with frayed leg openings.
In the dream, we were in love and already knew it. There wasn't any of this guessing-game-fumbling-around stuff. We were just walking along a trail in the woods holding hands, talking softly so we didn't disturb the birds and little creatures that might be running about. I don't know what we were saying to each other. This was a dream without a sound track. But his hand felt so good in mine. Warm. Soft, yet firm, with callouses. Every so often I'd lift my hand and draw his to my mouth where I'd kiss it while breathing in the scent of him and the after shave he uses.
When we'd been walking awhile, we heard the sounds of water running up ahead. Pretty soon the trail led out onto the banks of a stream. The trees stopped about fifteen feet short of the water's edge which left a little beach-like area of grass and moss. The ground was pretty dry, so we sat down just a few feet from the water and just listened to it and watched it flowing past.
As we sat there in the sun, our bare thighs rubbing against each other, I had my arm over Tanner's shoulders with his arm around my waist. We didn't need to talk out loud. Our bodies just seemed to communicate through our skin. It seemed like our bodies were whispering without our mouths having to make the words. They just kept saying 'I love you' over and over again. Pretty soon we were getting kind of hot, either from the sun or from all that whispering. Tanner looked at me with those God-never-made-any-other-eyes-that-color blue eyes of his and said, "You wanna go swimming?"
In my dream, the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice almost made me melt. Was I gonna see him naked for the first time? We didn't have anything to wear but our shorts. I felt myself getting aroused as I answered him, "Sure. We gonna go skinny-dipping?" Our voices were so soft, not whispering, but speaking real low and slow.
"No, I don't think so," he said with that fabulous little grin of his. He had a beautiful smile, but this was just a little grin, and it made me want to kiss him. So I did. Then he said, "We can wear our shorts in. They'll dry out before we have to go back."
So we slipped out of our shirts and I almost fainted at the sight of him half-naked. His chest was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. Hairless, rippled, little nipples on his tits, no hair in his armpits, and a stomach as tight as grandma's washboard. He was an inny, too, just like me. I could see myself tonguing it to turn him on, but all that did was make me harder. I caught him looking at me the same way and hoped he liked what he saw. But in my dream he didn't say anything.
We slipped off our tennis shoes and walked into the stream. It was cold, REAL cold, but only about mid-calf deep. Pretty soon I did the only thing I could do. I fell over backwards to get wet all at once. I can't do that gradual bit. Then as I sat in the water trying to get used to it, Tanner slipped on a flat rock and fell right into my lap.
We sat there like that for a long time, me with my back to the current and my legs spread out straight in front of me with Tanner lying between them with his back and head lying against my stomach and chest. I had my arms wrapped around him, and he had his hands resting on top of mine. Every so often I bent down and he turned his head up so we could kiss. Pretty soon I was hard again, in spite of the cold water. I wanted to move my hands down off his chest to his crotch, but for some strange reason I didn't.
When I was finally numb from the cold and from sitting on my skinny butt on a hard rock, we got out and laid down together in the grass to let the sun warm us up again. Tanner laid on his back and I rested beside him, my head on his chest, one arm buried beneath me, the other lying across his tummy. My fingers toyed with the water that was dripping down his side from his stomach to his back.
Once again it seemed like our bodies were talking to each other without the need for words. Maybe it was our minds talking, not our bodies, but whatever it was, our lips weren't moving. We were saying things like I love you, will you be mine forever, hold me forever and be my love.... that kind of stuff. Pretty soon my lips decided they needed to get into the act, so I hunched myself a little higher on his body to where I could put a hand on each side of his head.
He looked up at me as I did this, so I just looked back at him and rubbed his temples with my thumbs. Pretty soon his eyes closed and that little grin came back. When I was sure he wasn't expecting it, I lowered my head, being careful not to breath and give myself away. It startled him when our lips touched, but not so much that he opened his eyes. He just sort of moaned softly and started kissing me back as he wrapped his arms around me and began to rub my back softly.
It started out as just a slow, lingering kiss, our lips just resting against each other. He has such soft and pretty lips, so kissable. But pretty soon ol' Harry and Harvey Hormone got into the act and our breathing went haywire. Our lips began moving back and forth and our tongues started dancing with each other. Why does French kissing feel so good and turn people on so much? Who knows? Who cares?
I couldn't tell whose heart was beating faster or stronger, but I could feel both of them and mine felt like it was going ninety miles an hour. And I think a lot of blood must have left my head and run down to that not-so-little-anymore thing in my shorts, cause IT got awfully hard and I got a little dizzy.
That's when I woke up, and my heart really was beating so fast it almost scared me. I remember thinking, Damn, I was just about to see what he looks like without his shorts on. But then I realized that I didn't want to guess what he looked like down there. I wanted to wait and see it for the first time for real, not make believe. I wondered if I'd ever see him without a shirt on, much less naked.
... to be continued
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