Date: Fri, 11 Dec 2015 21:52:25 -0800
From: Douglas DD DD <thehakaanen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Rough Edges  Chapter 34

Welcome back. In this chapter Phil learns a great deal about his
brother Keegan. His interaction with Keegan sends him into
another one of his funks and he lashes out at his friends yet
again.

Please be safe always. And do remember to give to Nifty to help
keep the site up and running.

Email from readers is always enjoyed. Douglas.
thehakaanen@hotmail.com


CHAPTER 34
"BECAUSE LIFE SUCKS"


<Larry Sanders>

I'll never forget that second night I spent at Phil's house—we still talk about
it on occasion. Troy has even mentioned it in our adulthood. While Troy
doesn't go into detail, he still says he considers it to have been a special
night. It wasn't the last time I sucked Troy's cock—I managed to do it a
couple of times before he graduated from high school, but that first time
was the best, maybe because it was my first time with an older boy and it
was new and erotic. It helped that Troy made me feel comfortable with
what we were doing.

Troy was awake and out of bed before the rest of us and he had breakfast
going when we wandered downstairs. I was surprised Troy's getting out of
bed hadn't awakened me.  I could smell bacon cooking when I entered the
kitchen. Troy was naked except for an apron, while Keegan, Phil, and I
hadn't bothered to put anything on. Mrs. Miller said nothing about our state
of undress. Apparently having naked adolescent and pubescent boys
darting around the house was nothing new. I wasn't real comfortable about
it, but I decided to follow the resident crowd.

Keegan and I set the breakfast table while Phil donned an apron and
assisted Troy in the kitchen. It didn't take me long to notice that he was
doing more than assisting his older brother, at times Phil was instructing
him. That was when I learned that Phil had an affinity for cooking and knew
his way around the kitchen.

After a delicious breakfast of fried eggs, hash browns, and bacon, the four
of us cleaned up the kitchen and then headed for the living room. Mrs.
Miller thanked us all for the breakfast and for doing the cleanup. By then I
was feeling less self-conscious about being naked around her. At home, I
was starting to feel embarrassed at times being in front of my mom
(although not my dad) wearing just my underwear, and here I was naked in
front of my best friend's mom.

We went upstairs to Phil and Troy's bedroom and took turns taking
showers, Troy and I showered together first and then Phil and Keegan
showered together. By the time we finished, Mrs. Miller yelled that she was
leaving for a while and for us to behave ourselves.

"We can behave ourselves downstairs," Troy grinned. "We have a lot more
room to behave down there."

"We could go to my room, too...I have a big room," Keegan pointed out.

"Yeah, it's big enough to keep the world's biggest mess in." Troy mussed
up Keegan's hair and then gave him a noogie, just to show he was kidding
around.

"So...um...just what do you mean by behaving ourselves?" I asked
somewhat naively.

"What he means is you and Keegan can behave and me and Troy can
behave," Phil giggled.

"That sounds more like misbehaving to me."

"Not if we all want to do it," Troy said.

"What if your mom comes back?" I asked.

"Then we run like hell," Phil laughed.

"Don't worry," Troy assured me, "she's going to a meeting for drug addicts.
When it's over she goes out to coffee with some of them—she won't be
back for a couple of hours."

I glanced at Phil when Troy said "drug addicts." Phil had told me about his
mom having problems with pills sometimes, but not that she was addicted
to them. He shrugged and gave me a look that seemed to say, "Everything
is okay."

That was how I ended up with Keegan on the couch in Phil's living room
having the only sex I would have with Keegan. I was on my back and
Keegan was hovering over me on his hands and knees. We had each
other's cocks in our mouths sucking for all we were worth. There was some
similar action going on down on the floor with Phil and Troy side-by-side.

Keegan wasn't a bad cocksucker for a straight boy, but I could tell his heart
wasn't totally into it. He was somewhat mechanical, depending on his lips
as he bounced his head up and down taking my cock three-quarters of the
way into his mouth, then sucking up on it. He made little use of his tongue
and even less use of his hands. For my part, I sucked him, fondled his
smooth, low-hanging ball sac, and even stroked his ass and his crack a
little.

Within ten minutes of us starting, he became the second teenager to shoot
into my mouth. He tasted sweet with a hint of saltiness. I liked Phil and
Troy's emissions better, but for different reasons. Phil was watery and
sweet while Troy was thick and a bit bleachy in taste.

Keegan pulled off of me once he came. He sat up on my legs, took my
cock in his hand and quickly jerked me off to a satisfying climax. I enjoyed
the cum as I always did, but I thought cumming in his mouth would have
been better.

The two brothers below us came within a couple of minutes, almost
simultaneously. The four of us sat back and relaxed after that, chatting
about football, the soccer team Phil and I played on, and even about girls.

"Seventh graders start getting girlfriends," Keegan, the expert, informed us
just in case we didn't know.

"Well, you're an eighth grader," Phil pointed out. "Do you have one?"

"Not right now, but I'm working on it."

"Good luck." Troy told him. "Just don't go getting yourself pussy whipped."

"Say what?"

"He means don't go letting a girl lead you around on a leash," Phil
translated.

"What about having your boyfriend lead you around?" Keegan sneered.
Like I said, Keegan off drugs was better than Keegan on drugs, but he
certainly wasn't perfect.

A lot of the good feelings in the family ended a couple of weeks later when
a phone call changed the lives of the Miller boys. Their father was finally
returning home after a year away. His deployment was supposed to be for
six months, but it kept being extended. We didn't know what to make of the
longer deployment at the time, but Phil and I now believe that he found
ways to be extended so he wouldn't have to return home and deal with his
family.

<Keegan Miller>

I ain't queer but that don't mean I don't like having my dick sucked or my
butt fucked. I'm not good at sucking cock but I do it to get a guy to do me a
favor. Getting a girl to suck me off is better. As for fucking, I like it much
better than sucking cock, but like with sucking, you gotta give to get.
Actually, I really love to fuck whether it's with a guy or a girl."
Troy makes a big deal of my drinking and drugging. He's been taking me to
these meetings to help you stop drinking. I like being drunk and high, but
being sober has been fun too. I been sober just about all summer, which
sometimes I think was the waste of a really good summer. But, it was nice
not to have hangovers, or to feel crappy, and to do some stuff with my mom
and my brothers.

I did get lots of sex during the summer. Troy fucked me a lot, which was
cool because he's not a bad big brother, at least since he quit drinking and
quit thinking he was some kind of tough dude. He let me fuck him a couple
of times. He's like me, he's a straight dude, but likes sex a lot.

My little brother Phil, who can be an asshole at times, traded lots of blow
jobs with me. I wanted to fuck him more than once, but he won't do it. The
reason he won't do it is kinda lame—he wants his best friend Larry to be
his first fuck. Is that kinda gay or what? The way I see it, those two are
boyfriends.

I played around with Robbie and his brother Tyson and with Robbie's
girlfriend Mia. Robbie's in high school and Mia and Tyson are in seventh
grade like Phil, but who gives a shit how old peeps are. My friend Kirk is in
eighth grade and I've fucked his sister back-to-back with him. She's in sixth
and is eleven. She's a really good fuck.

Anyway, most of my sex during the summer, except for my brothers, was
with Robbie, Tyson, and Mia. I've fucked them all, and Tyson and Robbie
have fucked me. I've even fucked Mia up the ass. She keeps acting like
such a nice girl with all her straight A's and shit, but she's a slut and loves
taking three in a row from the two black brothers and me.

Robbie keeps wanting me to get fucked up again, but I've been trying to
make Troy happy and be sober. Like I said, being sober isn't so bad, and
my friends still do sex with me even if I don't drink and toke with them. If
anybody needs those meetings, it's Mia. I swear she was drunk or stoned
every time I saw her. She sure as fuck won't be getting straight A's in
seventh grade if she doesn't get her shit together now that we're back in
school.

I think Troy thought I was gonna stay sober forever, and I was thinking
about it, but there was lots of days I wanted booze or weed really bad. But I
stayed good until dad called and said he was coming home. Then I knew it
was time to drink again.

The reason I knew that is because my dad and me are drinking buddies. I
know that sounds weird, but we like sitting around the living room in our
underwear drinking beer. We're like a couple of good old boys is how dad
puts it. I know a couple of kids, like Mark, who have dads who are like their
bed buddies, but me and my dad aren't like that. We're just drinking
buddies. Sometimes, when I'm really drunk or stoned, I think it might be
cool for dad to suck my dick or fuck me or something, but he's not that way
at all. But damn, the man can drink, and he's taught me how to do it pretty
good. He hates my pot smoking and has beat my ass when I do it in the
house, but other than that we get along really good.

Troy hates me drinking with dad, which is why he likes dad being away and
worked to make me sober so I wouldn't do it anymore. Me and Troy used to
drink together when I was like ten or something, but now he don't drink at
all. Phil drinks and smokes weed sometimes, but usually he doesn't. It
depends what kind of mood he's in—he has to be in kind of a shitty mood
to want to get buzzed. Me, I just like being buzzed and messed up.

A couple of days after dad called I got off the bus after school at my usual
stop. Phil stayed on the bus with his boyfriend because they had soccer
practice. I know he doesn't think him and Larry are boyfriends, but come
on, I ain't stupid. I can see how they look at each other and how they're
always touching each other. A dude's gotta be blind not to see it.

I really don't care if they're boyfriends or not. I know I call them faggots and
shit like that, but usually it's when I'm kinda drunk or I'm just in a fucked up
mood. Like I said, I'm not queer and shit, but I like having sex with other
guys as much as anybody. But I also ain't no virgin. I've fucked five boys,
been fucked by four, and have fucked a lot of girls. I don't remember how
many because some of them I did when I was so drunk I can't remember
everything I did.

My best fucks so far were last spring just before Troy talked me into quitting
drinking and toking. One was Kalie Parsons at a party. She was in ninth
grade and we did it out back of the house on the grass in the rain. We were
naked and stoned and it was so fucking hot even if the rain was kinda cold.

The other was Mia Cassidy, who is kick ass gorgeous, but is a total slut if
you get her stoned, and will put out sometimes even when she isn't
buzzed. I've fucked her more than anybody. The wildest time, other than
when I got sloppy thirds after Robbie and Tyson, was when I fucked her in
one of the girl's bathrooms after school, and we were stone cold sober, too.
We did that just a couple of weeks after school started this year. I missed
the bus, but it was worth it. I just wished we cudda done it naked.

Anyway, I went to rambling on about my sex life when I wanted to talk
about what happened that day I got off the bus and Phil went with Larry.
Skyler and Carlos, who are in seventh grade, stopped me and said they
had some killer weed and would share it if we lit up at my house. I was cool
with it, since I was getting tired of this being sober shit and figured I needed
to practice being buzzed for when dad got home. I was gonna be drinking
with him, because he totally expected me to, and I was okay with doing it.

So me, Skyler, and Carlos got stoned in the living room. Phil hates those
two and they don't like Phil much either, but I get along okay with them. I
get along okay with just about everybody. If I don't like them or they don't
like me we just ignore each other and do our own thing. They got horny just
like I do when I'm stoned. I didn't know them all that good, so we didn't do
sex, but we did jerk off together. That fucking Carlos has a big cock and he
shoots a fountain of cum. Skyler still doesn't have any hair, but he shot
some too. We all had our shirts off so we wouldn't have to worry about
shooting our jizz on them and I know I impressed those two punks when I
blew a couple of tit shots. I don't shoot as much cum as a lot of guys, but I
can shoot it far. I've shot it over my head before.

"That rocked totally," Carlos said as he pulled up his pants and put his shirt
on. "We gotta do it again, like really soon."

"We need some booze," I remarked.

"It's way easier to get weed than booze," Skyler said.

"Well, if we all try, maybe somebody can get some." Carlos and Skyler
agreed. After they left I jerked off again thinking about sucking their cocks.

I thought Troy would be pissed when he got home and found me high. He
just said I don't need to be high to have fun, the same shit he always says.
He said I could start my sobriety over again tomorrow if I wanted.

"Dad's coming home soon and he'll want me to drink with him," I told him.

"Fuck dad. Quit being his drinking buddy and be his son. You don't need to
drink with him."

"He says he'll get the belt out if I don't."

"He's bullshitting you. Has he done it yet?"

"Once."

"Fuck, just tell him you're tired of his bullshit."

"That's easy for you to say—you're a fucking big football player. Besides, I
like drinking with him because it makes me feel grown up. I got stoned with
a couple of guys in seventh grade today, but getting drunk with dad—well
he treats me like an adult when I do."

"That is so fucked up, Keegan. That is just totally fucked up." He went off to
his bedroom.

I could tell he was pissed, but I think he was more pissed at dad than at
me. I just wish there was a way I could go to like a tavern with dad and
really drink like an adult—but I'm just thirteen and there's no way I could
fake being an adult.

I got my skateboard and did some riding. It's fun when I'm high, and I can
skateboard pretty good, even high. Now, if I was totally wasted and tripping
out, I wouldn't try it. I thought about letting my dick hang out while I
boarded, thinking maybe I'd pick somebody up—or somebody would pick
me up. But I wasn't that far gone and knew it was stupid. Maybe some
other time I'd do it.

Sometimes I think it would be cool to have dad fuck me like those guys I
talked about. But then I think it wouldn't be so cool. Dad is pretty anti-gay,
so I would never bring it up. But I do jerk off over it sometimes. I bet he's
really hung.

The guy I really want to fuck is Phil. Maybe someday he'll let me do it, like
after him and Larry fucked each other. He keeps saying no, but I keep
asking. I mean I am his brother and deserve a chance. And if Troy ever
does it with him, well I'll be right there and next in line.

Now you know a little about me. I like booze, weed, and sex. Maybe
sometime I'll try shit stronger than weed, but right now I'm happy with what
I got. I don't know what Phil's gonna think when he gets home from soccer
practice and finds out I got high. He'll either be pissed, or ask if he can join
me sometime. That's the way he is.

<Phil Miller>

I think Larry is weakening on the whole marriage thing. The problem is, I
don't think he's completely reconciled himself to the idea of making our
relationship official. He still is a bit fearful of how the small town of Mayfield
will react, and maybe rightfully so. As small towns go, it's fairly liberal in its
social outlook, but it still has people with their biases. I've told him that I'm
with him no matter what path our lives end up taking—but that's how it's
been between us since sixth grade with a bump or two along the way.

One bump was caused by a combination of the loathing I felt for my father
along with the temptations offered by Keegan. When I got home from
soccer practice a couple of days after the news that dad was returning from
his deployment, I knew there were going to be problems. I picked up the
sweet smell of marijuana right away. Keegan's days of sobriety had
obviously ended.

I thought about going to his room and screaming at him, but I paused, got
my shit together, and laid out my math book on the kitchen table to finish
my homework. I'd had dinner at Larry's house after practice and we worked
on homework for an hour until his dad brought me home.

As I was doing my math problems, Troy came into the kitchen. "Hey, sport,
when did you sneak in?"

"A while ago," I shrugged. I thought about saying something about the
smell, but I decided not to. Maybe he didn't smell it and if I told him that
would be like narking on Keegan. Usually that wasn't a problem, but we'd
been getting along pretty well and I didn't want to get him into trouble. He
could do that on his own just fine.

"I know what you want to say," Troy told me.

"Oh? Since when did you become a mind reader?"

"I don't have to be a mind reader to know you smelled something."

Since Troy knew about Keegan, it was now safe to talk about the smell.
"Yeah, I smelled it."

"I guess dad's coming must have set him off."

"Whatever."

"I'm not making an excuse for him...I'm just saying."

I went back to working my math problem, hoping he'd think the
conversation was over.

"Don't you think about doing something dumb," he warned me.

"Fuck, you really are a shitty mind reader." Troy had managed to push one
of my buttons. "Just because Keegan goes and gets stoned don't mean I'm
gonna do it. That is so stupid...I mean, only a total moron would think I'd go
getting high just because Keegan is."

I was happy that Troy was a shitty mind reader, because I had been
thinking of doing exactly what he accused me of. I was in a really bad
space. I was angry because dad was coming back and I was angry at
Keegan for getting high, and I was angry at Troy for knowing what I was
thinking. I had already forgotten the good day I had at school, at practice,
and at Larry's house. I didn't even think about the good things in life—
instead I was pissed off over all kinds of stuff I couldn't control.

Troy kept telling me to deal with the shit I can control, like me, and let
everything else take care of itself. "Acceptance is the answer," he'd keep
lecturing me. It was getting so that I could usually latch onto what he
meant, but sometimes I wanted to tell him that he could take his
acceptance and shove it up his ass. This was one of those times. I didn't
sleep with Troy that night.

The next day after school I didn't go home with Larry as we had planned. I
told him I had some chores to do at home, which we both knew was a lie.
Keegan grinned when he saw me get off of the bus—he knew why I wasn't
going with Larry. If Larry could read minds as well as Troy could, he would
have known I had been in a really pissy mood that morning.

It had been a long time since I'd been in a mood like this, and when it
happened I found I liked getting stoned and forgetting about the shit going
on around me. That would be the shit I couldn't control, according to Troy.
Well, I wanted to get high with Keegan and he knew I wanted to get high
with him.

"You got any weed?" I asked, skipping the preliminaries.

"Yeah, I bought some from Roger at school." Roger was an eighth grader
who dealt drugs—at least he did until he got caught about a month later.

That's how I ended up on the couch with Keegan getting stoned. He told
me while we were toking that he'd gotten high with Carlos and Skyler on
that couch and they'd had a circle jerk together. We took things beyond a
circle jerk. We took all of our clothes off and I got between his legs and
gave my brother a blow job, jerking myself off as I sucked him off. I blew
my load on the carpet, but we were both too stoned to bother cleaning it up.

It was probably lucky for Keegan and me that Troy got home before mom
did. He found us tripping out on the couch, naked and leaning against each
other. He dragged us up to our beds hoping we'd sleep some of it off
before mom came home from work.

We came out of our highs enough to come down for dinner after Troy woke
us up. He made no effort to get us dressed and mom, as usual, ignored our
nudity. She didn't say anything about our mental state either. I think she
had her moments when she simply didn't want to battle us, even over using
drugs. Troy was the glue that held the family together, and that was often a
patchwork repair.

Troy made a point that even in my impaired state I didn't miss—he wouldn't
let me sleep with him. Whether it was to repay my snub of the night before
or to punish me for getting high I didn't know (it ended up being the latter),
but it made me feel depressed when he stopped me from joining him in
bed.

Needless to say, I had no homework completed. I had a lousy night's sleep.
It was full of weird dreams that kept waking me up. I got up an hour before
my usual time, surprised to find Troy already gone. I went to the bathroom
to pee. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. My eyes were
still bloodshot and my hair was a total mess. I didn't even bother to
shower—I figured it would wait until PE.

Keegan rolled a joint and took a couple of hits before we left for the bus. I
was tempted to join him. He handed me the joint, but I was so tired and my
head was so numb I couldn't work up the energy to take a hit, so I handed
it back to him.

"Pussy," was all he said as he took a third hit. He put the joint out and hid it
in his closet. We left the house together to catch the bus. I was surprised
Keegan even bothered getting up for school.

I was hoping Larry was sitting with somebody on the bus. Sometimes he'd
sit with one of the other Wonkeys, but usually the seat next to him was
vacant so I could sit there. The seat next to him was empty and if I didn't sit
next to him, he'd know something wasn't right. As it turned out, he knew
something wasn't right as soon as I sat next to him.

"You look like shit," he stated without fanfare.

"So?" I snarled.

"You're acting like shit, too."

"Live with it."

"Why are you being such a bitch?"

"Because life sucks."

Next: The Gratitude List