Date: Fri, 15 Nov 2019 11:31:41 -0600
From: Not Given <chaosmode00@gmail.com>
Subject: Sam and Alex Part 1

Sam and Alex Part 1
Chaosmode


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Copyright:  Chaosmode November 2019.

Disclaimers and Opening Intro: This story is a work of fiction as always,
the characters are not real and if they're based on anyone it is not
intentional.  This story was also posted somewhere else originally in
smaller chunks and has been altered and edited to better fit as one
cohesive story.  A few small things have been changed, but the main
storyline has stayed the same.  The characters and their interactions are
exactly the same as I intended and the story is one complete thought now
and heavily edited to be complete.

Also this story takes place sometime around 2002 or 2003, as such I've
tried to fit the technology to that time period.

This is the first part, I think each part will be about 30 to 40 pages
which should put me around 3 parts all together.  This entire story is
about a budding relationship, these are boys learning about each other, and
about their own feelings.  Do no expect tons of sex.  For instance Alex is
not going to just bang Sam in each part to close it out this is not the
kind of story I write. There will be sex stuff that happens but I am trying
to make it organic and part of the story driven by the characters within as
realistically as possible.  This story is about the newness of a
relationship between one older and one younger boy, both discovering who
they are but also discovering one another.



As always thanks for reading and for any feedback you want to give.







Chapter One.





	"Now don't be taking candy from any strangers in cars only at the
houses you hear me Sam? And don't you dare let your brother and the other
boys leave you behind like last year!" Sam sighed frustrated as he looked
at the paint that his mom had put on his face, the makeup looked too white
and strangely enough the fake teeth kind of hurt in his mouth, he wanted to
take them out, maybe he didn't want to be a vampire after all. His mom
though had worked hard on making sure the outfit looked right and he didn't
want to disappoint her even though he maybe didn't want to wear it anymore.



	The outfit was that of a classic vampire, an all black suit with a
little necktie and the suit was dark black with a cape that was dark black
too but the inside was a dark red and that was pretty cool. His mom had
even slicked his dark brown hair back so that it wasn't hanging over his
face like it liked to do sometimes. He had wanted red eyes too but he was
only ten so his mom wouldn't let him wear contacts. Sam opened his mouth to
study the fake teeth and he spit them out saying, "they kind of hurt."



	His mom put her hands on his shoulders from where she stood behind
him and said, "well then don't wear the teeth unless you want to. The
important part is that you look like a vampire not that you are one!"



	Sam nodded and his mom squeezed his shoulders as his brother Billy
looked into the room. Billy was older, in middle school and most of the
time he was a real jerk to Sam. Since... well since forever really. Billy
had acne all over his face, their mom said that it was because Billy ate
sweets all the time and that was also the reason why he was kind of chubby
too because he liked candy a lot. Billy was dressed as a pirate but at
thirteen he didn't really care if it looked accurate or not, he just wanted
to get candy. Well actually he also wanted to vandalize houses. For example
his eye-patch was not even over his eye but up on his forehead.



	Their mom gave a little sigh that Sam barely heard and said,
"you'll be sure to keep an eye on your brother this year Billy?"



	His older brother just gave a dismissive little shrug before
saying, "of course mom."



	"Otherwise you can't go out. I trust you to watch your brother
since I have to go into work tonight."



	Billy harrumphed as if it was a big deal and said, "fine I'll make
sure he doesn't get lost or something." He walked out of the bathroom.



	Sam followed his mom behind his brother out to the living room of
their small three bedroom apartment and their mom continued, "I'm serious
Billy, last year when that ghost scared him he came running home and you
just let him.  What if someone had snatched him up or he'd fallen and
gotten hurt.  You don't think about how much smaller and younger than you
Sam is Billy."



	"Geez mom that was last year, I won't let it happen again." He
wasn't really paying attention and Sam wondered how long it would be before
he was ditched. It wasn't his mom's fault she had to work at the diner on
Halloween. Her boss had not given it off to her even though she had
asked. She needed the job and Sam knew how hard it was for her to find a
job that paid as well as it did. Even if all they could afford from it was
living in this rundown old apartment complex.  Even at ten Sam knew enough
to know how that part of the world worked.



	His mom kissed the top of his head and said, "Just follow you
brother Sam and if you don't feel safe come back here, you've got your
apartment key right?"  He nodded and she continued, "and if you do come
back here be sure you let Billy know and do not talk to strangers got it?"



	Sam knew that his mom didn't like the idea of him going out without
her, but there were going to be lots of other kids walking up and down the
streets of the subdivision across from the apartments and he would be
plenty safe. "I promise mom, plus maybe I'll run into Carter and we can
just walk together." Carter was his only friend that lived in the area, he
was going to be a firefighter this Halloween. He had said it many times at
school. Carter had stopped talking to Sam at school after Sam had tired to
kiss him.  He wasn't even sure why he had wanted to kiss Carter other than
he thought Carter was cute and not say Alice who Carter had said once
before that he wanted to kiss.



	His mom nodded again and checked her watch one more time before
finally saying, "okay boys I've got to go." She kissed each of them again
and then headed out of the house. Sam watched her go as his brother had
headed towards the kitchen right away as his mom walked out the door. A few
minutes later someone knocked on the front door and Sam went to answer it
but Billy pushed him out of the way.



	"Move `tard," Sam almost fell on his butt but he managed to hit the
side of the couch instead with his entire left side. His left side where he
hit the couch hurt now. He was rubbing his side still when Billy opened the
door and Alan stood there, one of Billy's friend. Sam hated Alan even more
than Billy. One time just a few weeks ago Alan had actually hit him and
pushed him down telling him that if he told on them for putting fireworks
in the Jensen mailbox that he was a little pussy and he'd die a little
pussy. Whatever that was, Sam wasn't sure but he knew he didn't like
Alan. Alan was why Billy treated him even worse. Billy had never been nice
to Sam but he had gotten worse since meeting Alan.



	Billy was holding a Styrofoam box that said Grade A eggs on it. Sam
said, "Mom won't like that you're taking her eggs."



	Billy pushed him again and said, "shut up fuckhead." Sam did fall
then onto the floor of the apartment living room this time right on his
butt. He wanted to cry but then Alan would tell him he was a pussy and
Billy would call him a retard. He had told Billy once that calling someone
a retard was mean and wrong and Billy had hit his shoulder so hard that he
had left a big bruise that had been there for days. He hadn't told his mom
about it. Just like he hadn't told his mom about the time that Billy and
Alan had called him gay because he still liked cartoons at ten.



	Billy and Alan were laughing about the eggs and Billy came over to
where he was getting up from being pushed down and got into his face.  His
breath stunk something fierce because Billy didn't brush his teeth and he
had some really bad cavities too. "If you tell mom what we're doing I will
make sure that you regret it every day." Then he walked back over with Alan
and Sam heard him say, "we should get the Terrace house for sure, they
always give apples out instead of candy." They started out the front door
and Billy said, "Come on `tard move it! Or we'll leave you here."



	Sam went outside, his butt still felt sore as did his side from
being pushed around already twice but he wanted to go trick-or-treating, he
wanted to have fun as a vampire and get candy. So he stepped out and let
his brother lock the front door of their apartment and he followed them
down the stairs from the second floor of the complex to the first. Billy
had put the eggs in his bag and he and Alan were joined by the third of
their crew, Todd who was bigger than both of them and was already eating a
full size snickers bar.



	Sam followed behind them as they walked through the complex to the
gate that led out, none of the apartments gave out candy, but their complex
was next to a subdivision with houses that all had decorations of scary
ghosts or skeletons or even some funny ones like skeleton dogs and stuff
like that. Other kids were already running around trick-or-treating, going
from one house to the other as they crossed the street.



	Sam stayed behind his brothers gang, up ahead he could hear them
laughing and after they went up to one house Sam followed behind them and
the lady there said he was a cute little vampire, though she looked a
little sad for him. It continued like this, Sam's hope of seeing Carter
were dashed by the third house, his brother's gang had elected to go the
other direction of where Carter's house was about four blocks over. One of
the houses gave them toothpaste and small personal toothbrushes instead of
candy. As they were walking away from the house Billy pulled out the eggs
and all three boys too one egg a piece and threw them at the house.



	They started running when the door came open and Sam had to run
after them, but they were faster, laughing and he heard Billy say, "fuck
lets go get the Terrace house too now!" They ran past some lawns but Billy
never checked back on Sam who couldn't keep up even if he wanted
to. Honestly after they threw the eggs Sam really didn't want to stay with
them anymore.



	He also didn't want to go home so he knew he had to keep following
his big brother even if he didn't like him all that much. At one point
while running he fell down and scraped his knee but he didn't want to loose
Billy so even though it really hurt he got up and started running again.



	When he thought he had almost caught up to them Billy jumped out
from the shadows of the two houses that he was walking between and grabbed
him hard by the shirt he wore, "go the fuck home Sam, stop following us!"
he pointed back up the way that they had come which would mean turning down
another street and then he would have to cross the main street to get to
the complex. Billy was taller and bigger than Sam so he could actually lift
him up so that his face was even with his big brother and he was off of the
ground since Billy was over five feet and Sam was just barely over
four. "if you tell mom I left you alone..." He dropped Sam hard and his
butt hit the grassy ground as Billy ran a finger across his throat.





	Then he laughed and took of to catch up with his friends. Sam
slowly climbed to his feet after a moment and sniffled, wiping his nose. He
wasn't going to cry, he was a big kid now not some little baby. He walked
back out from the alley between the two houses and walked up to the
sidewalk. He could just go up to houses and get candy but he didn't really
feel like it anymore. Why did Billy have to be so mean to him all the
time. Billy used to be nicer sometimes before Alan he would even play games
with Sam. He had never been a saint to Sam but he had at least tolerated
him. Then he started hanging out with Alan and Todd and all the sudden he
became so mean.



	Sam carried his little pumpkin Halloween basket, it was circular
and looked like a pumpkin, it was about halfway full maybe a little
less. He walked back down the streets he had passed and then up close to
where he needed to cross to get back to the apartments. It was there that
he sat down on the curb by a mail box and sat the pumpkin down next to him.
Sam lifted the pant leg looking at his knee to see just how badly it had
gotten scraped earlier.  It wasn't that bad, but it did hurt. He heard some
younger kids running down the street to the next house. He sniffled again
and wiped at his eye with his left hand as he thought how unfair it was
that his mom had to work tonight of all nights and that his brother had to
be a jerk.



	The sound of someone sitting down next to him surprised Sam. "Hey
there you okay?"



	Sam looked over at the person that had sat down next to him, he was
older, but he wasn't like an adult Sam could tell that much right away. He
had a mask on top of his head that looked like it was a skull and he wore
these really dark black robes. Sam noticed a couple of other older kids
around the age of the kid that had sat down who looked like they were
dressed to go to a party. Sam guessed that because they didn't have
trick-or-treat bags or bowls or anything.



	One of the other kids said, "come on Alex we're going to be late."



	The teenager, clearly he was one, said to the others, "I'll be
there in a moment, just go on in." He waved a bit at them and then looked
back at Sam. The boy Alex was taller than even Billy and his mom both, but
he wasn't an adult despite how tall he was, he had a youthful face, really
light hazel eyes and sandy blonde hair that was a bit long going almost to
his shoulders. He wasn't big like how Billy was big, he was fit and had
very nice soft features to his face. He said, "tough night huh?"



	Sam sniffled a bit and wiped at his nose again. He was not going to
cry in front of a stranger. "I'm okay."



	The boy Alex nodded and said, "yeah I can see that, you know you're
a pretty convincing vampire, even without the teeth."



	Sam pulled the teeth out of his bucket, "I've got the teeth they
just hurt so I took them out."



	Alex smiled, "I see," He did have a pretty nice smile. Sam felt
better having someone be nice to him. "I'm Alex by the way."



	The teenager held out his hand and Sam took it slowly, his hand was
bigger than Sam's own but it was warm and nice. "S-sam," he said as he
sniffed again.



	"Well Sam, did you hurt yourself?"



	Sam shrugged and said, "I fell and then my brother pushed me."



	Alex said, "yeah brother's can be real assholes sometimes." Sam was
still looking at Alex, trying to figure out why this teenager was being so
nice to him. Didn't he have friends and a party and all that other stuff to
get to. "I don't think you should be walking home by yourself."



	Sam got defiant at that, he could so walk home by himself he was
ten now and he told Alex as much, "I'm old enough to walk home I know not
to talk to strangers or take candy from them or any of that."



	Alex nodded and said, "yeah but you talked to me and I'm a
stranger."



	Sam flushed, under the white makeup the older kid couldn't see it
of course but he still hated that Alex was right. "B-but you're...I mean
you're not an adult."



	Alex said, "true, but that doesn't mean much, I mean I could still
hurt you or do worse."



	Sam swallowed and said, "w-would you?"



	Alex pulled his mask down and it was the visage of a skull as he
said, "Well I am death I might have to take your soul." Sam smiled and
before he could say something else the older teenager grabbed him and
tickled his sides making Sam laugh out loud as he squirmed and tried to get
away. Alex let him go as Sam fell back onto the grass behind the curb next
to the mailbox. Alex pulled the mask back off of his face. Then while
looking down at Sam he said, "you should smile more often."



	He took Sam's hand and pulled him up as he did Sam said, "How do
you know if I smile or not?"



	Alex shrugged, "I see you walking home all the time, I live just
right there." He pointed to the apartment complex that Sam also lived in,
"one building over from yours with my mom."



	Sam said, "oh."



	Alex was still holding his hand, it felt nice really. "You just
walk up the street after you get off of the bus always sulking and moving
at a glacial pace, I didn't even know you could smile."



	Sam flushed again, thankful the makeup hid his face, "I just know
Billy's going to pick on me when I get off the bus."



	Alex said, "well Billy's not around tonight." He looked back up at
the house where the party was going on. From this distance Sam could hear
music coming from the house and some other kids were walking up the pathway
heading to the house for the party.



	"You can go to your party I'm okay now."



	Alex shrugged making up his mind about something and said, "nope,
come on," As he stood up he said, "hey do you like video games?"



	He put his hand out for Sam's and Sam took it letting the teenager
pull him up. "S-sure but I don't have any other than my gameboy and
sometimes Billy steals that."



	Alex looked frustrated by something, but Sam couldn't figure out
what it was. Almost like Alex wanted to punch someone. Instead he said,
"well I have a playstation, if you want we could play some games on it till
your mom gets home?"



	Sam hesitated, "what kind of games?"



	"Hm well I've got Crash Bandicoot and Resident Evil, and well let
me see what else, Mega Man I think unless Rob is still borrowing it, oh and
Metal Gear Solid among others." He looked over at Sam, now standing up Sam
could see that Alex was really tall, probably two feet taller than Sam
himself, and he had really nice shoulders too, and a bit of muscle as
well. Suddenly he really really really wished that Alex was his big brother
and not jerkwad Billy.



	"Okay I could do that."



	As they cross the street he was surprised to realize that Alex was
still holding his hand, it felt nice and warm having the older boys larger
hand holding his own. They walked to the complex and instead of going to
where Sam's apartment was they went to the building across from it and up
the stairs to the third floor. Alex opened the door with his key and they
walked in. The apartment was the same layout as his own, three bedrooms and
there was a woman sitting in a chair in the living room who almost jumped
up when they walked in, "Alex, what, I thought you were going to a party."



	She had clearly been sleeping and had not expected anyone home,
"Sorry mom, go back to sleep. Sam here just needs somewhere to say for a
bit till his mom gets home since his brother dumped him." Alex's mom
studied Sam but seemed unconcerned at all that Sam was there. She went back
to watching something on the little square Television in the living room as
Alex took Sam to the back of the apartment into his room.



	Alex's room had a pretty big bed in one corner of it and a
television on the other on a dresser with a playstation system hooked up to
it. Sam looked around the room, on the walls there were posters from
animated movies and some from what Sam thought were music bands, one said
Neo-Genesis Evangelion, Tool, Pearl Jam, Pokemon, and posters for the
movies Jurassic Park and Star Wars. His bed sheets were a mess on the bed
and there were some socks and underwear on the floor that Alex quickly
kicked under the bed before pushing the sheets down as well.



	Alex said, "I don't really have anywhere to sit other than the bed,
but the controllers reach that far. Sorry the room's a little messy I
didn't know I was going to have a guest." Sam felt comfortable in Alex's
room so he didn't mind and he shrugged a bit to say he didn't care. His mom
was always telling him to clean his room too. Alex shrugged off the robe he
was wearing and the mask too. Underneath he wore a tee-shirt that said NIN
on it with one of the N's backwards. Sam thought it was a music band shirt
of some kind but he'd never heard the music. He sat down on the bed and the
older teenager said, "so what do you want to play Sam?"



	Sam shrugged and said, "I dunno, I've never had a playstation."





	Alex looked through some disks and said, "here how about you try
this one then, you like Mario I'm guessing?" Sam nodded and Alex put a disk
in and said, "well it's not Mario but in this game you're task is to get
all the apes from each level and then you get to the end and can move onto
the next level. Here let me show you the controls." He put the controller
in Sam's hands and it took him a moment to get it down. Alex actually moved
to sit behind him on the bed and his larger legs were on either side of Sam
now as he reached around and put his hands on Sam's own to show him the
buttons and help him use the little analog sticks.



	After a few minutes Alex took his hands off of the controller, Sam
didn't feel afraid or anything with Alex so close to him. He actually
thought the older boy smelled nice and his hands against Sam's own had felt
nice too. He had started to feel something like when he had tried to kiss
Carter the other day and the other boy had gotten mad at him saying that
boys don't kiss boys. That was why he had wanted to see Carter tonight to
tell him he was sorry and he hadn't meant to kiss him even if he thought he
was cute.



	When he caught another Ape after trying three times Alex said,
"there I think you're getting the hang of it." he moved a bit and Sam
realized that one of Alex's hands was on his leg, it was a big hand much
bigger than the ten year olds own hand. Despite the strangeness of it the
older boys hand did feel nice on his leg. At one point when he caught the
last ape on the second level Alex said, "way to go." He held his and up and
Sam high fived him and smiled too. As Alex moved a bit and then Sam did
feel something.



	It took him a moment to realize what he felt as he started the next
level, but then he knew what it was, Alex had a boner. Sam felt his cheeks
flush when he realized that, it was pressing to his back as Alex was still
sitting there to help him if he needed it. Sam didn't want to embarrass
Alex by moving or something, and it felt really nice sitting with Alex like
this. He knew of course what a boner was he and Carter and James had once
compared their boners and for some reason Sam had really liked seeing
their's even if his looked different and they had laughed a bit about that.



	So he kept playing the game but when he felt Alex's other hand rest
on his stomach a bit rubbing him there he jumped at the surprise of it and
Alex said, "sorry." He moved then slipping from behind Sam and the boy felt
sad, he had liked Alex sitting like that, even the older boys boner had
felt kind of nice on his back. "shit. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry Sam if
I made you uncomfortable."



	Sam was still holding the controller but he wasn't playing the game
anymore. "I was just surprised by it, but it felt nice." he swallowed,
"e-even with your b-boner it felt nice." He felt his cheeks all hot.



	Alex said, "you felt that? Fuck... I'm sorry Sam... I just.." he
sighed and sat down on the bed next to Sam and the younger boy wondered
what was wrong. Alex seemed really uncomfortable. Finally Alex looked at
him and said, "you know how I said that I've been watching you walking
home?" Sam nodded a bit and felt a little uncomfortable as Alex said, "well
I like you Sam, I mean I like seeing you... you're...." He sighed deeply
and ran a nervous hand through his hair, "you're the highlight of my
afternoons, even if you don't smile all that much."



	On the game Sam had walked the main character into a pit as his
hand had rested on the button that moved the character. "okay." He felt a
little uncomfortable, but not in a bad way, just in a different way. There
were these little butterflies in his stomach.



	Alex was still flustered by something and Sam couldn't figure out
what it was, or honestly why he'd see Sam as a highlight to his day. Alex
was still looking at him, "then I come in here and I think about how to
make you smile just so I can see if you're even cuter when you smile."



	Sam felt his cheeks flush a bit, again Alex couldn't see them flush
as he had the white makeup on. "is that why you had a boner?"



	Alex seemed uncomfortable talking about this. The teenager clearly
was ashamed that Sam had felt it. "look lets not talk about that okay?"



	Sam said, "okay," he wasn't sure why Alex was uncomfortable. "It
was nice when you touched my tummy but I wasn't expecting it and that was
why I jumped."



	Alex swallowed, "I'm sorry Sam, I shouldn't... I mean you're
younger and I don't want to be one of those guys that takes advantage of a
kid... especially not one I like a whole lot. I should take you home."



	Sam wasn't sure what was going on. "We can't be friends anymore?"
He had just met Alex but he already really liked him, though he couldn't
really say why other than he was really nice, he smelled nice as well and
it had felt good sitting inside of Alex like that. Also Alex wasn't mean to
him and talked to him like they were equals.



	Alex just stood there looking at Sam. Sam didn't mean to be on the
verge of tears but tonight had actually started to turn out really good
till now. Alex came to where he was and bent down in front of Sam who was
still on the bed, "hey, I'm sorry Sam..." he touched Sam's cheek, "I
just... I thought I'd be okay being this close to you but I've thought
about you so many times and now you're in this room and even in your
Dracula costume you're so... cute.. I've kind of had a crush on you for a
while I guess." He pulled his hand back like Sam's cheek was fire. "I
shouldn't... I thought maybe I could just be your friend and not want to be
with you, but you being here is even better than it was in my imagination."



	Sam got it then, somehow it clicked his mind, like when he had
kissed Carter because he thought Carter was cute. He saw that some of his
makeup had come off on Alex's hand and Alex had wiped it off on his shirt
leaving a white mark on the black shirt. Softly Sam said, "Y-you want to
kiss me like how I wanted to kiss Carter."



	Alex stopped wiping his hand off on the shirt, the older teenager
rocked on his knees a bit looking at Sam, "yes, every second you're this
close to me I want to kiss you."



	Sam flushed again, "why?"



	Alex touched his cheek again, it was so soft, but warm and it felt
right. "like I said I like seeing you every day." he moved his hand back
again but this time Sam stopped him, putting his smaller hand on top of
Alex's. "I should..."



	Sam said, "I tried to kiss Carter, he said boys shouldn't kiss
boys."



	Alex said, "that's.. well maybe he doesn't like boys."



	Sam said, "you like boys?"



	Alex's other hand was on Sam's leg now, "I..." he slipped it off,
the ten year old had thought it felt nice but he didn't say anything like
that. "Y-yes." Sam couldn't figure out what it was that he was supposed to
do. It felt so nice having Alex's hand on his cheek softly stroking it and
he realized that he had a boner of his own because it felt so nice. Alex
pulled his hand away again and slowly stood up. "I should take you home."



	Sam said, "what if I like boys too?"



	Alex said, "you might Sam but I shouldn't be doing this, do you
know how old I am?"



	Sam shrugged, "older."



	"Fifteen, and you're what..." He looked Sam over again, "ten?" Sam
nodded a bit and Alex said, "I do want to be your friend Sam, I just... I
don't know if I can be and not think about how much I'd like to be more
than friends."



	Sam softly whispered, "I wish you would kiss me. I'd like to know
what its like to actually kiss someone who wants to me to kiss them."



	Alex sat down again next to Sam a bit heavy on the bed, "you want
me to kiss you?"



	Sam shrugged, "I only got to kiss Carter for a second before he
said that it was yucky and that boys shouldn't kiss other boys. I really
wanted to kiss him though. I guess I had a crush on him like you do on me."
He looked up at Alex and said, "could we just try a kiss and see if we both
like it?"



	Alex swallowed, Sam could see his Adams apple move as he did. His
hand touched Sam's cheek again, "I suppose one kiss won't hurt anything."
Alex's larger thumb stroked Sam's cheek as he pulled Sam in closer to
him. Alex leaned down to kiss him, Sam wasn't sure what to do. He thought
about closing his eyes but then it was too late, Alex was already
there. His lips touched Sam's own and the little boy felt a thrilling shock
of wonder throughout his body.



	Alex's lips were soft, warm and larger than his own as the older
boy pressed them to his. Alex tasted of mint and his breath was warm
against Sam's lips that were still lightly parted. When Alex's hand rested
on the back of his head to hold him Sam felt his entire body ripple with
excitement. Then he felt Alex's tongue on his lips. Sam felt afraid, he
started to pull away but something about it felt right. He leaned more into
the kiss, letting the older more experienced boy take the lead. Alex's
tongue was so big pressing into his mouth, he wasn't afraid anymore he was
excited actually.



	Then Alex pulled back as if he realized that he was going too
far. He still held Sam's head, and it took Sam a moment to open his eyes
again. He could feel it in the slacks of his vampire outfit, his little
boner. Alex cleared his throat and said, "sorry I... I shouldn't have..."



	When he teetered off in his talking Sam said, "I thought it was
nice."



	Alex looked back at him and he said, "you're not uncomfortable?"
Sam shook his head no and Alex said, "you're sure? I Don't want to make you
uncomfortable Sam. Not when I like you so much."



	Sam said, "that's silly you barely know me."



	Alex laughed a bit and Sam for some reason felt his own cheeks heat
again and a small smile on his lips too. "Well I'd like to get to know
you. If you'll let me?"



	Sam thought about that for a moment, "I'd like that too. I'd like
to have more kisses too."



	Alex said, "oh?" Sam nodded and before he saw it Alex attacked him,
tickling his stomach. He tried to get away but Alex's hand were everywhere
on his tummy, tickling him in all the right spots up over his ribs and on
the center of his belly where it was most delicate. He stopped after a
moment letting Sam recover his breath and said, "I like it when you laugh,
its... beautiful. My mission from today on shall be to make you laugh or
smile at least once a day."



	Sam said, "so you'll let me come over after school some days?"



	Alex's face was inches from his again as he leaned over him from
tickling him. He could still smell the mint on Alex's breath, and he
wondered what Alex smelled on his, probably peanut-butter from the reeses
he had eaten earlier. Alex kissed his nose then and said, "every day after
school if you want and I don't have anything else." Then he sat up, "for
now though I think I should take you home."



	Sam was a little disappointed but he saw that it was already almost
ten and his mom would be coming home soon. So he agreed because he didn't
want his mom to worry about him. Alex walked him to his apartment in the
building over and he opened the door. His brother was on the couch when he
walked in eating candy and when he saw them he started to say something,
then he saw Alex and stayed quiet. "see you later Sam." Sam noticed that
Alex looked at Billy with really angry eyes before leaving. He could also
feel that Alex didn't want to leave him alone with Billy.



	After Alex had left and the door was closed Billy said, "who the
fuck was that? Wait till I tell mom you went home with a stranger! You're
going to get it `tard!"



	Sam said, "if you tell mom that then I'll tell her that you egged
those houses." He stood up to Billy, trying to stand on his tiptoes to look
taller in front of his big brother, to feel intimidating.



	Billy pushed him a bit and said, "fuck you little `tard. I won't
tell mom anything if you don't. Who was that anyway?"



	Sam said, "one of our neighbors, he's in high school, he helped me
when I got lost coming back home." He didn't bother to tell Billy that he
had spent a long while over at Alex's or even Alex's name. Instead he
walked out of the living room and went to the bathroom. Sam pulled off his
vampire costume, wiped the make up off of his face and in his pajamas
climbed into his bed. Not even Billy being mean to him could bring him down
tonight. He had just had his first real kiss and it had been the best
feeling in the world. It still made his tummy all warm and he could still
feel Alex's lips on his own from where the older boy had kissed him moments
earlier. Still taste Alex's breath if he thought long enough about it.























Chapter Two.







	The hot water of the shower hitting his skin was enough to wake
Alex the rest of the way from his sleep, the alarm on his nightstand going
off playing one of the local rock stations had not done its job fully. It
always took a hot shower to get the feeling of sleep out of his body. Alex
grabbed a wash cloth and some soap. The smell of IrishSpring soap hitting
his nose woke Alex more as he started washing with his face first. As he
started washing Alex's mind started drifting back to last night. He could
feel his penis hardening as he remembered all of it clearly in his head.



	He had just intended to take the boy back to his own apartment. He
had wanted to make sure that Sam was safe. Sam, his name was Sam! He had
always tried to put a name to the boy's slightly sullen but beautiful face
when he saw him walking home, but he'd never been able to. Now he knew it,
he actually knew the boy's name. That sent a little thrill through his
body, oh and damn the boy's smile too, Alex could remember that now as
well. Even with that silly makeup on his face the boy's smile could have
lit a furnace which was why it was such a shame he never smiled.



	Alex could remember the feel of Sam's smaller lips on his own, the
way that the boy had been uncertain how to kiss. How soft his short hair
had been in Alex's fingers when he held Sam's head. He was so hard now,
thinking about that moment. He had not meant to go that far, he hadn't
meant to do anything at all. Other than walk Sam home, but he hadn't liked
the idea of Sam being home alone either, the boy was just ten. So that had
been enough to justify him taking Sam to his house.



	Then he had just wanted to show him how to play the game and he
hadn't meant to get hard sitting so close to Sam but he was so warm and
right there in-between his legs. Then Sam had wanted to do it, the younger
boy had actually been interested in boys just like Alex was. That honestly
had surprised him, hearing Sam say that he had wanted to kiss another boy
and had clearly had a crush on him as Alex did on Sam.



	Alex came thinking about it, stroking his full six inches, rubbing
harder and faster as he thought about how cute Sam had looked as a little
vampire, about how sweet the younger boy was. How warm and soft he had
been. How his little lips had been parted and Alex had just wanted to try a
bit with his tongue. He came shooting into the shower, the washcloth
forgotten on the tile floor moments before. He felt weak at his knees as he
leaned against the wall in the shower his seed spent.



	Alex washed off once more a moment later and dried off as he
stepped out of the shower. He combed his sandy blonde hair, parting it down
the middle, it went to about the middle of his neck. He walked across the
hall in just his boxers and in his bedroom pulled on his jeans, grabbed his
wallet and chain along with his Doc Marten boot's pulling those on as he
sat on his bed. He stopped for a minute, remembering that it was on this
same bed that he had kissed Sam last night.



	Alex didn't have time to think about that right now. He pulled on
his Alice in Chains shirt form a pile of shirts in his dresser and grabbed
his backpack heading out of the room. He stopped in the living room, his
mom had gotten up and gone to work this morning. He looked at his watch
checking the time as he stepped into the living room. He picked up the two
bottles from the coffee table closest to the chair that his mom had slept
in last night. He carried the two empty bottles of wine to the kitchen and
dumped them in the trash can. They clattered against the ones from the days
before. Trash day was tomorrow.



	Alex knew if he looked in the fridge he'd see more bottles, since
Sarah's death when Alex was nearly thirteen all his mom did was drink, and
all his dad did was blame everyone. He leaned his head briefly against one
of the cabinets looking around the kitchen. The table was an old rickety
thing that looked like it was on it's last legs, the chairs were as
well. Besides money for food, rent, and some clothes for Alex his mom drank
most of her earnings from work and most of the child support from his dad.



	Alex looked at his watch again and then grabbed his house key from
the counter where he had left it yesterday and left the apartment locking
it. He stopped for a minute up on the third floor balcony looking across to
where Sam's apartment was. The building Sam's apartment was in was number 3
and it was directly across from his at number 4.  It sat on a corner from
his so he couldn't see the stairs that led up to Sam's apartment from this
angle.



	The complex was an older one, a place where families who didn't
have a lot of money went to live so that they could get by. It was in
severe disrepair in some places, and in others they tried to pretend that
they were going to fix it but everyone knew they weren't. The leasing
company didn't care about the complex, just like society didn't care about
the kids growing up in these kinds of places.



	Alex headed down the stairs not letting his melancholy moment wash
over him past the front door of the apartment. He had to walk across the
street from the complex to get to the bus stop which was at the end of the
street on that side. The stop was by a big red stop sign in front of the
Jensen house. It looked like someone had egged the house last night as
well. Alex knew that the Jensen's always gave out toothpaste for Halloween
and some of the older kids liked to retaliate every year. He had taken
Sarah trick-or-treating here the last year of her life.



	Those memories hurt so he pushed them away. His mom drank to
forget, his dad raged at the doctors, at his mom, at the insurance
companies. Alex put his pain into music and singing. He watched his mom and
dad both slowly destroy themselves in their misery. He tried to help them,
he had stepped up become very responsible for himself at a young age.



	As he tried not to think about the past Rob stepped up next to him
at the bus stop. Rob was with him in theater at school along with
choir. "Hey Paula was asking where you disappeared to last night, you never
even came into the party." Alex looked over at Rob, unlike Alex, Rob's hair
was cut short just around his ears. He wasn't as tall as Alex who stood
over six feet, but he was more broad in the shoulder and had a lot more
muscle. Rob lifted and was on the football team along with being in theater
and choir. How he did all three Alex never knew.



	He shrugged, "sorry, I got caught up in doing something nice."



	Rob looked at him trying to determine if Alex was crazy or
not. "Dude, it's Paula DeVeers. I'd about do anything to get into those
panties." Rob and Alex should have been in different worlds, Rob was one of
the most popular kids in the school, he walked with the elite in the
school. Top of the top of their sophomore class and even the juniors and
seniors knew who he was, he could fluidly slip into any of the upper
cliques at their high school. Still he loved theater and singing as well
and no one made fun of him because he was one of the stars on the football
team.



	Alex on the other hand was a loner, or he had been till he and Rob
had been paired together in an a duet for one of the school's choir
performances. They surprisingly had a lot in common it turned out, same
taste in music, same taste in movies and video games. So he had become
friends with Rob and through that he had become friends with a few other
people that he probably shouldn't be friends with. Still often Alex felt
like an outsider, and it wasn't only because he wasn't popular, just
popular by proxy.



	The school bus pulled up and they climbed on sitting in the back
where Mark and Kyle were. Kyle was the one who suggested that Alex should
be the lead singer in their garage band. Kyle played lead guitar and they
had two other members, Mark on drums and Aaron on bass guitar. They mainly
practiced by playing songs from bands they knew like Alice in Chains,
Metallica, Tool, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden among
others. Alex and Kyle had written a few unique songs of their own but they
had no idea how they were ever going to perform in front of people.



	As they sat down Mark said, "where the fuck were you last night
Alex?"



	Alex shrugged, "like I told Rob had to do something nice for
someone."



	Kyle who had been one of the others with him in front of Rob's
house where the party had been last night said, "you helped that little kid
that was lost home?"



	Rob said, "what little kid."



	Kyle said, "some little kid that was crying in front of your house,
probably cause your ugly ass scared him to death."



	Rob pushed Kyle a bit and said, "please if anyone's an ugly ass its
you look in the mirror sometime dipshit. I Don't think Janice would be
dating me if I wasn't a hot piece of ass." Alex let them keep ribbing each
other as they rode to the school. He didn't want to talk about Sam anyway
and by the time they got to school they were on some other topic. Last
night he had been heading up to the party at Rob's with Kyle, Paula, and
Janice. He was supposed to have been Paula's date to the stupid party. For
a few weeks now since she had let it slip that she liked him to Rob's
girlfriend they had been trying to set him and Paula up.



	Paula was on the football teams cheer squad, she wasn't a lead or
anything like that, but she was one of the popular girls. She wasn't bad
looking either, as he stepped off of the bus he saw her with three of the
other cheer girls. She had dark brown hair that went down almost to her
waist and today she wore a shirt that was tight enough to show off the
shape of her breasts and flat stomach along with some really nice tight
jeans. She was stunning really if you had an eye for teenage girls, but
Alex didn't.



	Alex hadn't even realized he was different until his last year of
middle school, it hadn't even occurred to him to think he was. He had been
too busy that year still trying to find a way to deal with the loss of his
sister. So it hadn't occurred to him until that last day of middle school
when he realized that the reason why he hung around Ivan Porter all the
time was that he liked Ivan but not in a friend way. He had thought maybe
Ivan felt the same and he had tried to show Ivan how much he liked him by
trying to kiss him on their last day of middle school since they were both
going to different high schools.



	Ivan had punched him and never talked to him again. Alex had
struggled with these feelings during his entire summer before his freshmen
year of high school. It wasn't like he wanted to be with any of the boys at
his high school either, they didn't interest him. It was why last night had
been so wonderful, why it shouldn't have happened. He knew it had to be
wrong to want to kiss a ten year old, but he so badly had wanted to and do
a lot more than that.  It wasn't just that Sam was younger, that maybe was
a factor, but there was something about Sam.  He was ten, but in a way
looking at him Alex felt like Sam was a kindred spirit.  It did help though
a lot that Sam was cute, and had no idea how cute he was.



	Alex tried to pretend though, as being gay openly wasn't really one
of the best options in high school for a teenage boy.  Maybe one day things
would be better, but right now being gay was seen as a choice that while
good and all as an adult kids even teenagers didn't know what they
wanted. Despite all of the movements and slightly more broader acceptance
being gay in school was still something that you didn't do. Only the brave
few came out and if he did come out he'd have to find another reason why he
didn't want to date some of the high schools boys that were out.





	As they got off of the bus Rob pushed Alex towards where Paula was
standing with two other cheer leaders one of whom was Janice, Robs
girlfriend and head cheerleader. "Go on an apologize to her for ditching
her on your date."



	As the approached Janice ran over, big breasts bouncing as she
leaped up to Rob and they hugged and kissed. If a teacher saw them they
would pull them apart. Alex stepped up to Paula and she said, "well where
did you disappear to last night?"



	Alex shrugged a bit, "sorry had to help someone get home."



	Paula nodded and she touched his chest, "that's nice, you were
sweet to do that for that kid, but you could have come back after he was
deposited at his house." Her fingers sort of trailed on his chest, "we
could have had some fun of our own."



	Alex looked down at her, she was a foot shorter than him, and even
though she was very slight and slender with a very small almost boyish
frame she didn't really do much for him in that department because she
wasn't a boy. He put his hand on the one that was touching his chest. She
probably wanted more but he didn't know how to give what he didn't feel,
"sorry, when his mom wasn't home I just wanted to make sure he was okay."



	Paula just smiled again and said, "well to make it up to me how
about we go out on a real date just the two of us? No party pretense? I'll
get my sister to take us to the movies."



	Alex didn't now how to say no, or even how to say yes. Instead he
said, "I'll try and see if I can make it work." Then he stepped back and
headed up towards the school leaving Rob, Janice, and Paula all probably
dumbfounded. He knew he should act like he was interested, maybe even date
her just to seem normal, but his mind kept going back to last night and the
offer of more with Sam dangled so enticingly before him. Even if all he
ever did was kiss the boy and hang out that would be enough. Just being
around him was enough.



	During lunch again Rob and Kyle tried to angle him into getting
with Paula, and again Alex found a way to gently rebuff things even though
he felt like it was a loosing battle. Finally at the end of the day he gave
in to Paula when she came around again with Janice and as she walked away
with a date confirmed for Saturday she flirted a bit saying, "I like it
when a man plays hard to get." Alex hadn't been playing hard to get he had
just given up the fight against them.



	On the bus ride home Kyle congratulated him saying that he had
heard Paula gave the best blow jobs from David who was on the track team
with Kyle and who had apparently dated Paula before Alex. They got off the
bus and as it was pulling away Rob said, "you now if you don't want to date
Paula you don't have to. There's plenty of other girls out there, if you
don't like her we'll find you one you do like."



	Alex said, "I was just playing hard to get with her, I really do
like Paula." It was the furthest from the truth at that moment.



	Rob said, "Well good, she's one hot piece of ass!" He clapped Alex
on the back before heading off towards his house.



	Alex crossed the street to the apartments and went up to his
apartment. His mom wouldn't be home till around seven, she worked at a
doctors office as a receptionist and thankfully that doctor didn't have the
heart to fire her after what had happened. He forgave a lot from Alex's mom
but Alex knew one day that bridge would be burned too.



	He walked into the house and dropped his key on the counter and his
backpack on the kitchen table. He had homework to do but he'd worry about
it later. About ten minutes after he got home the middle school bus arrived
he watched that little shit brother of Sam's walking with his two shit
friends laughing and pushing each other as they joked around about
something. They split off to each go to their own apartments in the
complex. It was hard to believe that huge acne riddled monstrosity was
related to Sam.



	They did have the same dark brown hair, but other than that their
similarities disappeared. He wanted to throttle the kid as he yelled at him
telling him that leaving your little brother behind wasn't an option. The
thought of what could have happened to Sam sickened Alex, stuff that he had
read about or seen on the news before. The thought that something like that
could have happened to his little sister when she had been alive if he had
abandoned her so callously like that boy had to Sam made him angry. Maybe
he hadn't always been nice to Sarah, brothers and sister did fight but he
had dearly loved her and he had always protected her from others no matter
what.



	Alex stopped, he didn't want to go down those memories, he didn't
want to remember those pains. Even nearly three years later thinking about
her physically hurt, he knew why his mom drank herself to death and why his
dad raged, sometimes he wanted to do both as well. It wasn't fair that she
had been taken from them. Wasn't fair that kids got sick and died or that
doctors and hospitals could misdiagnose kids and lie to the families all to
protect themselves. Those were dark thoughts, of a year of his life that
Alex would rather never remember.



	At around three-thirty the elementary school bus let out and that
was when he saw Sam again. For the past two months since they had moved to
this complex after his mom had gotten kicked out of the last one for not
paying rent he had been watching Sam. It hadn't started out that way, he
had only seen the boy on accident that first time. He had been going down
to the dumpster when the elementary school bus let out and he had seen this
one lone kid walking into the complex.



	More like a slow dreading walk towards home. Alex had seen sad kids
before, hell he had been a sad kid in middle school, but something about
this boy had tugged at more than just his heart. He was still in the
process of trying to figure out why he found boys attractive, and what it
meant that he liked other boys sometimes younger than him, sometimes around
the same age.



	Alex was just a teenage boy trying to discover his own feelings and
for some reason he liked it when a boy was a few years younger than him.
He could see himself dating an older boy though too if they looked right
and wanted to be with him.  He wasn't really fixated or stuck on a
particular age.  Just a particular boy who he had found reminded him of
himself in a way.



	That first day when he had seen Sam it wasn't like he had been
looking for a younger boy to admire or even to contemplate his own complex
feelings on realizing that he was gay. Yet when he had seen him Alex had
felt his heart start to beat a little faster. The boy had been kicking a
small rock across the complex. His face had this little look of sullen
dread on it and he was clearly walking slower than he should to get home.



	Seeing him that first day Alex had thought just how he might look a
thousand times more cute if he smiled a bit. The boy had dark brown hair
that liked to fall in front of his eyes, it wasn't as long as Alex's own,
just sort of sliding around the boy's ears and the bangs long enough to
fall in front of his eyes. Alex had been close enough at the trashcans to
see Sam's eyes as well that day, a dark sparkling blue. He was surprised
that Sam and his brother were indeed brothers, not only did they not really
look alike it was their sizes too. Sam was this skinny little thing, just
spindly arms and legs with no real meat to them, his face was this small
rounded shape that fit well with his hair and looked almost too big for his
body. Alex knew that boys grew into their bodies. He had gone through a
change himself late in middle school.



	Since that first day he had made it a point to be outside doing
something on his balcony or taking out the trash at least every other
day. At first his thoughts were that the boy was cute even if he was a
little small and constantly sullen looking. Then he had started to realize
when he watched Sam walk, how his clothes were just a little too big for
his tiny frame, how sometimes he'd see one of the boy's shoulder's if the
shirt fell over just right on his shoulder. That was when Alex realized he
was looking at Sam for another reason all together, that was when the
masturbation had started in earnest.



	Sometimes after he'd feel bad about it, imagining such dirty things
about such a sweet and sad looking boy. Usually when he masturbated he
thought about anime characters or sometimes boys on shows but never about
real life boys even the few in his high school that he might consider doing
something with.  He was afraid that he might just one day loose it
and... no he knew it then as he did now, he could never harm Sam, or any
other boy. He had this attraction, but he wasn't a monster. Yet he knew he
was powerless... if Sam wanted more than a kiss he knew he would give in
because he wanted more than a kiss.



	He watched as Sam got off of the bus the afternoon after
Halloween. A little bit ago Alex had moved to the bottom few steps of his
building's first floor. He watched as the younger boy walked up into the
complex and he saw instead of the sullen little kid that had walked home
for the past two months a different kid. When Sam saw him the ten year old
smiled and waved a bit. He had to pass Alex's building 4 before going to
his building. Sam looked better without the Halloween make up.



	His little eyes sparkled a bit with his smile, his front few teeth
were probably a bit too big for his small mouth at the moment and if Alex
had to judge the boy would need braces one day as well. The jeans he wore
were a little worn and tattered, as was the shirt which was faded and had
probably been his brothers. Alex waved back and Sam came over to where he
was sitting. The boy shuffled his sneakers, one of them had its laces
undone. Softly Sam said, "hey." his cheeks were red. Alex wondered what the
boy was thinking.



	"Hi," he realized that he felt nervous as well. Last night had been
a kiss between death and a vampire, today they were who they always
were. The boy's backpack was a little too large for him, almost like if you
pushed him a bit he'd topple over. Alex wasn't sure where to go, if he
should even go. He could see Sam still studying him. The boys blue eyes
were so full of life and his thought that Sam was a totally different
person when he smiled had been right.  "if you want you could come over and
play some more playstation with me."



	Sam flushed a bit, "you still want me to?"



	Alex realized then that Sam was afraid that he wasn't going to like
him anymore for some reason. The boy clearly didn't have a lot of friends,
and his brother clearly had made him not trust that others could be nice to
him. "Sure I do Sam, but only if you want to. I don't want to make you do
something."



	Sam said, "oh, let me put my stuff down and I'll come over." He
smiled a bit and then headed over to his apartment building walking towards
the turn before he would disappear to head to his building. Every few he
would stop and looked back at Alex, seeing if he was still there. Alex
smiled, it was like he was in some kind of a dream. He knew that they were
different in ages, probably in tastes of things as well, but he also knew
that he liked Sam. He wouldn't take advantage of Sam's trust in him either,
if all that they did was hang out and maybe steal kisses he'd live with
that. If more came...



	He was thinking that when Sam came back from around the corner. He
met Alex at the bottom step of his own building and as they climbed up the
steps heading to his apartment Alex said, "what did your brother say?"



	Sam shrugged, "Billy said I'm a `tard, he always says that, but
he's actually glad I'm not in the apartment, so that way he can go hang
with Alan and Todd."



	Alex stopped walking and looked over at Sam who had gone up one
more step then him so that they were about the same height now for the
moment, "he calls you retarded?"



	Sam could see anger on Alex's face he knew he could and the younger
boy said, "he's just like that, a-are you mad?"



	Alex shook his head and said, "no, sorry, I just don't like the
idea of someone being mean to you."



	Sam flushed and said, "I wish you were my big brother instead of
him."



	Alex smiled as he said, "ah but then you'd have to deal with this
all the time." He grabbed the younger boy, tickling him as he carried him
up the last few steps and into the apartment. Sam's giggles escaped him as
he tried to squirm and break free. He got away as Alex let him go as the
laughter from Sam was still escaping into the room.



	He looked at Alex and Alex stepped closer. Sam made to move like he
was about to be attacked a little giggle escaping the boys mouth with a
smile. Alex though didn't tickle him this time, he just stepped closer and
looked down at him. Sam looked up, he was roughly two feet shorter compared
to Alex, and his head came up to about the bottom of Alex's chest as they
stood this close. He could hear Sam's breathing as he recovered from being
tickled. Alex wasn't sure why but he reached down and touched Sam's cheek.



	Sam's dark blue eyes were still meeting his dark brown eyes, in his
mind he didn't have eyes as beautiful as Sam's. His thumb stroked the boy's
cheek. He wanted to kiss Sam again, really kiss him, but now having him
standing there, seeing how much smaller he was his desire to protect Sam
was equally as strong as his desire to kiss him. He wanted to let Sam
discover who he was in his own time, not in Alex's own desire to be with
him.



	Sam still looking up at him said, "my heart's beating really fast,
see!" he took Alex's hand on his cheek and put it on his chest
instead. Sam's chest was small under his palm, and he could indeed feel the
boy's heart beating really quickly. Sam said, "w-what about yours?" The
preteen reached up and touched Alex's own chest with his much smaller hand
and he said, "it's going really fast too."



	Alex nodded a bit. "yes it is."



	Sam bit his bottom lip a bit, trying to find out what he should say
and then he said softly in a whisper almost too hard to hear, "are you
going to kiss me again?"



	Alex swallowed, his hand still on Sam's chest, still feeling the
other boys beating heart. It was going, demandingly so. Clearly Sam wanted
him to kiss him. Clearly Alex wanted to kiss Sam. He had kissed a few
girls, tried to kiss one boy, but he had never wanted to kiss anyone as
baldy as he did Sam. He let his hand stoke Sam's chest a bit, "Do you want
me to kiss you again?"



	Sam swallowed, "I thought about it all day at school." He smiled
really big, "Mrs. Davis asked me why I kept staring off into space during
our reading session." His cheeks took on a delightful red as he said
it. Alex wanted to let his passion for Sam as he spoke take control and
drive, but he knew deep inside he knew that this wasn't something you just
sprung on a ten year old boy, these were feelings that he was having that
were all brand new for him. The worst thing Alex could do was ruin them by
rushing things. He knew this had to be Sam's show, some how instinctively
he knew.



	He leaned down putting his hand on Sam's cheek again, sliding it to
hold the younger boy from the back of his head as Sam tiled his head up
waiting, closing his eyes, "keep them open Sam.. for me?" Sam opened his
eyes again and flushed more as Alex let his lips meet the younger
boys. Like last night Sam was inexperienced, his little lips didn't quite
know how to meet right, but as Alex gently kissed him the younger boy did
start to get the hang of it.



	He wasn't sure if it was a minute or an eternity before he finally
he pulled back from Sam's lips. The preteen tasted just lightly of school
cafeteria pizza. He still held Sam's head and realized that Sam's one hand
was still up on his chest. He took that hand and walked with Sam into his
bedroom. As they walked into the room Alex said, "do you want to try that
again? Maybe we could try with tongues if you want, but only if you want
Sam."



	He looked at Sam, the younger boy looked up at him, and said,
"I..."



	Alex said, "if you don't want to Sam we don't have to. I don't want
to make you uncomfortable, we could just play games if you want to."



	Sam said, "n-no I'd like to try kissing some more, it feels really
nice."



	Alex smiled and sat on the edge of his bed. "I would too." He
lifted Sam up so that he was sitting on his lap facing him. Sam's legs bent
back at the knees to rest on either side of Alex's own legs as he put his
hands on Sam's small back, holding him. Like this they were eye level. His
face was inches from Sam's he could feel the boy's breath on his upper
lip. Sam was breathing a bit fast, Alex realized that he was as well. He
ran one hand down Sam's back softly stroking it through the faded Star Wars
Tee-shirt the younger boy wore.



	Sam's small hands were on his shoulders, the younger boy not moving
them, just looking at Alex, waiting, wanting. Alex leaned over and lightly
kissed Sam's lips. He pulled at the younger boy's bottom lip just a bit,
sucking on it between his two larger ones. This close he noticed this
little ring of freckles on Sam's nose, the fact that his eye lashes were so
long and delicate looking. There was this little scar on his forehead that
was just barely noticeable at the top of his hairline that his bangs
covered.



	Sam's eyes were still on his as Alex stopped sucking on the boys
bottom lip. Slowly he inched his tongue out, tracing Sam's lips. The fifth
grader pulled back a bit in surprise as he did Alex said, "just follow my
lead, if you get scared we'll stop." Sam nodded a bit, he didn't have a
scared look in his eyes, they were filled with desire. Until this moment
Alex had never known that a ten year old could feel or want this.  He had
never imagined that kissing someone else could be this wonderful either.



	He gently continued their kiss. His one hand holding Sam's smaller
head, his other still stroking the boy's back. He played with Sam's lips a
bit longer, his own twisting with the boys, the taste of preteen boy and
school pizza still lingering on the boy's breath. He slowly ran his tongue,
gently rubbing over Sam's lips, as he slipped into the boy's mouth Sam
hesitated, a little uncertain. His breathing stopped for a moment, as
Alex's tongue gently slipped between the boys teeth that were far too big
for his little mouth.



	Sam's little tongue was so small as he found it, for the first few
seconds as Alex tried to play with Sam's tongue the younger boy
hesitated. Then as he got a feel for what Alex was doing Sam seemed to
become eager to play the game. Alex slowly slid his hand under Sam's shirt
to feel the boys actual skin. He was so warm, almost hot to the touch as
their tongues continued to war. He liked pulling back, making Sam lean over
and drag him back in. They fell back onto the bed now, the younger boy
resting on top of him fully.



	Sam's smaller hands were still on his shoulders as Alex ran his
hand over Sam's back, the shirt pulled up a bit so he could. The ten year
olds little tongue was waring with his now, he was close to loosing control
of all of this. When his hand went down lower, brushing the top of Sam's
jeans he stopped, puling back, tampering his own desire. He touched Sam's
cheek softly as the young boy lay there on top of him trying to recover,
panting heavily. "Hey."



	Sam still flushed said, "why'd you stop."



	Alex stroked his cheek, "I think we might have been getting a bit
carried away there."



	Sam said, "but it felt so good... it was giving me a boner. See."
He sort of pushed his crotch against Alex's lower stomach and he realized
that he did feel it then. He couldn't judge size by just this short feel
but the boy clearly had gotten stiff.



	Alex sat up slowly so that Sam was on his lap again and touched his
cheek, "We don't have to hurry things."



	Sam said, "do you have a boner like yesterday too?"



	Alex smiled, "yes, I don't see how I couldn't after kissing you for
so long."



	"So why did we stop then if you liked it too?"



	Alex wasn't sure how to explain it, he opted for the truth,
"because I was getting really close to wanting to do a lot more than
kissing, and I don't want to make you feel bad or uncomfortable when I like
you so much."



	Sam softly said, "like sex stuff? More than kissing?" Alex nodded
and Sam said, "H-how can two boys do that kind of stuff with each other? I
mean we don't have you know you know what girls have uh... vagina's..." his
cheeks went impossibly red at saying sex organ terms, "t-to put it
in. That's why Carter said boys don't kiss boys because one of us doesn't
have a vagina to put a boner inside of."



	Alex smiled and touched Sam's cheek, "do you want to kiss girls?"



	Sam thought for a moment, "not really, I mean sometimes I think I'm
supposed to want to. Carter and some of the other boys in my fifth grade
class all say how hot some of our teachers are and how they'd let
Mrs. Davis or Ms. Callous kiss them. Or show them their dicks and then they
get even dirtier about seeing their tits and everything..."



	Alex said, "what about you? Do you want to kiss them?"



	Sam shook his head, "no, I want to kiss you. I thought about it so
long today at school that I actually did get a boner at school! If someone
had noticed I'd been laughed at." He flushed really red and stopped
talking.



	Alex smiled, "well yes boys can do stuff with other boys. Even if
they don't have vagina's."



	Sam thought for a moment, biting his bottom lip. "So you want to do
more than just kiss me but you want to make sure I like it first?" Alex
nodded and Sam said, "what kind of stuff?"



	"Well, one of them involves me seeing your penis and you seeing
mine. Then we might try stuff like sucking on them, and then one day when
you're ready we might try putting them inside of each other."



	Sam was thinking still, looking at Alex, he could tell the ten year
old was trying to process that. "but where we don't have vagina's."



	"We'll I'd want to put it in your butt."



	Sam laughed, a really big giggly laugh and Alex let him, it was
after all kind of a silly idea, imagine the first guy or girl that
suggested it so someone else, just put it in my butt. He stopped after a
minute still looking at Alex and got serious thinking again, "would it
hurt?"



	Alex stroked his cheek, "I..." what little knowledge he had of anal
came into play here, "yes the first time it would probably be pretty
uncomfortable, but we don't have to do that or even think about it for a
really long time."



	Sam though was thinking, "would you be mad at me if I never wanted
to do any of that stuff and just kiss?"



	Alex smiled, "I'd never be mad at you for that Sam. It's a lot to
take in, but even girls do stuff with the butt, its not just a guy with guy
thing."



	Sam shook his head, "I'm not worried about that anymore, I just
don't know if I want to do it. It is funny though that you can put it in
there."



	"So what are you worried about?"



	Sam looked down as he said, "that if I didn't want to do more than
kissing that you'd stop wanting to hang out with me."



	Alex touched Sam's chin, turning his face up to meet his, "well if
all you want is kisses consider me your kissing machine.  If all you want
to do is play games and talk about school or anything else then I'm here
for those things too. I'm not being your friend just to kiss or do other
sex stuff Sam. I like you being with you and its not because we may or may
not do sex stuff one day.  If you decide you want to try that stuff then we
will, but till then we'll just get to know one another maybe kiss and hang
out."



	Sam laughed at that and hugged him suddenly really hard. Hugging
him like that Sam said, "I have to think about the other stuff still."
Softly he said, "you know what was really nice though besides the kissing?"



	Alex said, "no what?"



	"When your hands were rubbing my back, that felt really nice, like
better than when my mom does it when I'm sick or feeling bad. Like hundreds
of times better." He flushed as he said it.



	Alex said, "well I thought it was as well." Minutes later Sam had
to leave as his mom was going to be home and she'd be mad if he hadn't
finished his homework before bedtime. As he watched Sam cross back over to
his apartment building he could still feel Sam's younger body pressed to
his own. The little boys obvious boner when pointed out to him on his
stomach, the feel of Sam's lips, the taste of his breath. He wanted more
but he'd let Sam decide on that one, there was no reason to rush things.







Chapter Three







	That night back at home even with Billy picking on him and pushing
him around a bit, stealing his last couple of French fries from McDonald's
and then monopolizing the television didn't bring Sam down. He still felt
so happy and warm inside. Usually by this time of the night he was defeated
and his mom had to come into his room and tell him that Billy was going
through a hard time what with their dad getting married again, having a new
kid, and never spending time with his two sons anymore. She would tell him
that it would get better, that Billy would stop being such a bully
eventually.



	Tonight though his mom didn't have to come cheer Sam up, he felt
really happy despite his brother being mean. He touched his lips once as he
stood in the bathroom after brushing his teeth. Touching them he could
remember the feel of Alex's lips on his own, the way that the older boy had
tasted of cola and how his bigger lips had almost swallowed Sam's own
smaller. How he had fallen on top of Alex with the older boys arms around
him on the bed. How it had felt when Alex's hands had been on his back,
skin touching skin.



	Thinking about those moments Sam realized that he was having those
feelings in his lower stomach again, and his penis was getting all stiff in
his pajamas. Then he remembered what Alex had said about putting it in the
butt and he smiled a bit and laughed a little as well, that was so crazy,
but... He pulled his pajamas out so that he could look at his penis, it was
doing that whole ticking thing, moving by itself it was so stiff. He had
this skin covering it that he had to pull it back to clean.  When it was
stiff like this that skin got really tight and made it hard for him to pull
it back and down but it also felt good when he did that too.



	Sam wasn't sure how he had discovered it felt good to rub it, he
could still recall a day that he had started doing it on his bed. That he
had been laying on his stuffed bear and something about all the warmth and
the feeling of moving a bit while he played a game on his gameboy had made
it get stiff, and the rubbing had made it feel really good to the point
that he had forgotten the gameboy game and had tried rubbing on the stuffed
animal all the more.



	After that he could remember looking at it and trying to figure out
why his penis got stiff like that, but the feelings had been so good that
he had done it a few more times. It was like kissing Alex, for some reason
at first it had just felt nice kissing but the more it continued the more
things started to change and then his penis just popped up. Now thinking
about it was making him get like that too. He had felt Alex's just a bit
and though he didn't have a clear picture Sam knew one thing for sure it
was so much bigger than his own. He'd be embarrassed to show Alex his cause
it was so small and the skin needing to be pulled back and such. So he was
a little glad and a little disappointed that Alex had reminded him he
needed to get home.



	His mom knocked on the bathroom door and Sam let got of his pajama
bottoms so that the elastic band hit back against his stomach as she said,
"did you drown in the sink?"



	Sam turned off the water and opened the door to the bathroom. He
only wore pajama pants with his underwear not a shirt tonight. His mom
said, "I like seeing you smiling for once." As she touched his cheek. His
mom's hand was nice on his cheek, but it wasn't the same as when Alex
touched him, this was his mom, that was Alex. It was the only way he could
think of it.  How it was different he wasn't sure, both of them were doing
it the same way, but his mom just did it to comfort him. When Alex touched
his cheek it made other feelings, those butterflies in his stomach, and it
made Sam want to kiss Alex too.  He wanted to kiss Alex more than he had
ever wanted to kiss Carter.



	Sam realized that he was smiling, he was still thinking about the
whole thing with Alex, and if he thought about putting it in the butt he
might laugh again as well as he'd hear it in Alex's voice again. "I love
you mom." He hugged her, he wasn't sure why but it felt right to do it. His
mom hugged him back and she took him into his bedroom telling him was
getting far too big for her to lift anymore. He got into his bed and she
tucked him in kissing his forehead once and told him goodnight.



	In bed alone now he could see the night sky outside his window,
though it was really just dark blackness as the lights from the complex
blocked out most of the stars. Sam stared out the window anyway just
watching outside and thinking again about how warm and wonderful it had
felt being kissed by Alex. He didn't know what it meant and he wasn't sure
what he wanted to do, but he knew he wanted to feel Alex kissing him and
holding him again.



	In the morning again as most mornings Billy managed to steal his
second pop-tart. Sam as usual didn't say anything to his mom as he could
see the underlining currents of what Billy might do. Even that wasn't
enough to make Sam feel bad or sad. He felt happy as he went through
school, Billy picking on him, even the other kids at school not talking to
him as his kissing Carter had gotten around to the other kids and some of
them laughed at or called him weird for trying to kiss another boy. That
couldn't really bring him down either. Even another bad score on a pop math
quiz didn't bring him down today. He just kept thinking that he was going
to see Alex again today too. Also it was Friday and that meant a whole
weekend out of school and soccer on Saturday.



	He jumped off of the last step of the school bus and actually felt
happy even though no one at school was really talking to him anymore. He
had tried again today on the bus to apologize to Carter saying that he
hadn't meant it but Carter had told him he didn't want to be his friend
anymore. A few days ago Sam might have run home and cried, but he had
someone that he might be able to talk about Carter with now if he needed
to. He didn't even know if he needed to.



	As he got off of the bus Sam was a little afraid that he might not
see Alex sitting on the bottom step again like yesterday. Yesterday he had
thought he might not see Alex as well, but just like yesterday the high
schooler was sitting on the bottom step waiting for him. Alex's hair was
lot longer than Sam's own, and his eyes were this really beautiful brown
that Sam really liked looking into. He was tall too, a lot taller than Sam,
and while he wasn't big like how some guys were he wasn't skinny
either. Today Alex wore that tee-shirt that said Nirvana on it and was all
blue with a baby swimming in the water. His blonde hair was pushed back
behind his ears and for some reason Sam thought Alex's ears were really
pretty. He thought Alex was really pretty, well handsome.



	He felt shy again like yesterday as he walked up to were Alex was
sitting. Alex's apartment was closer to the gate. From his apartment you
could see the exit gate and Sam's apartment building but from Sam's
building where the stairs led up to his apartment you couldn't see Alex's
part of the building as they sat facing away from each other. As he stopped
right there before Alex the older boy sitting on the steps said, "I was
hoping to see you before I left."



	Sam felt his face fall a bit, he tired not to get sad but he felt
sad. "Oh, we can't..." as he thought about it he flushed again.



	Alex reached out once touching his cheek, again Sam could tell the
difference between how Alex touched him and how his mom did. "I've got band
practice. We'll never be famous if we don't practice."



	Sam felt a bit stupid, he knew that Alex probably had friends and a
life outside of just him. "its okay, maybe I'll see you later."



	He started to go but Alex grabbed him by the waist of his jeans
holding one of the belt loops, "hey if you want you could come with me over
to Kyle's and watch us. I didn't mean that you had to just go off and be
all sad."



	Sam looked up, "w-wouldn't I be in the way or something?"



	Alex shrugged, "so what if you are, you're my friend, but if you
don't want to I understand, we do play really loud music."



	Sam said, "what instrument do you play?"



	Alex laughed, "I don't play anything, I'm the singer."



	Sam knew enough to know that the kind of music Alex listened to was
alternative and hard rock his brother listened to more poppy stuff on MTV
but sometimes the harder stuff played too. He'd heard it before, but he
didn't know if he liked it or not. He liked things like the theme songs to
shows like Duck Tales or Goof Troop or other kids shows on Disney and
such. He said, "I guess so but I mean what if its too loud."



	Alex said, "I've got an idea for that, if you want to come go put
your stuff down. Kyle's house is just two streets over and I'll bring you
back before six."



	Sam smiled a bit and said, "okay." He went up to his apartment and
dropped his book bag on his bed as he ran up the stairs and into the
apartment you could hear the shoe-strings on his left shoe banging around
on the stairs and then the floor in the house. Somehow his left shoe always
came untied and somehow he never tripped and fell on the strings either.



	As he left the bedroom Billy stood in front of him, "where you
goin' `tard."



	Sam said, "out to a friends house. What do you care."



	He tried to move past Billy but Billy stood in his way again,
"you're not going anywhere unless you pay me."



	Sam said, "come on Billy, let me go...."



	"I'll tell mom that you're hanging out with older kids and you'll
get into all kinds of trouble, but I'll stay quiet you little `tard if you
pay me with your candy." Billy did this kind of stuff a lot, threatening
Sam with some random thing or another. Sam took the easy way out today even
though he was planning on telling his mom about Alex anyway eventually. So
Sam just went back into his bedroom and then gave Billy his bowl of candy
before heading out of the house.



	Sam walked back over to Alex's building, seeing Alex again sent a
little thrill through his body, he didn't know if he'd like any of Alex's
friends or the music or anything, but he knew he liked Alex. Alex was
holding a pair of headphones that went over the ears and he said, "I use
these to play games when my mom wants me to turn it down. They should
protect your ears pretty good but let you hear the music still." He put
them around Sam's neck and the headphone sort of hung there and started to
slide off so he had to keep pushing them back up. He wasn't sure if they'd
fit over his ears. He still felt uncertain and held back when Alex started
walking. Alex stopped and looked back at him, "You don't have to come Sam,
we can always see each other tomorrow."



	Sam shook his head and made up his mind then. He started walking
with Alex and when he caught up Alex took his hand as they crossed the
street and then started walking to the end of the other street before
turning to head down another street. The sign said it was Elm Dale
Road. Then from there they turned down another street called River Edge
Road. The entire way to Kyle's house he held Alex's hand. The headphones
kept slipping off of his neck and he had to pull them back on and at one
point when they turned down River Edge Alex stopped their walking and said,
"this is really bothering me. I keep thinking you're going to trip and
fall." He bent down in front of Sam and took his shoe. Sam tried to
understand what was going on when Alex tied his shoe. "There."



	Sam just shrugged, "It'll just come undone again, I never trip."



	Alex stood up and said, "well then I'll just tie it again until it
stops getting untied." They continued going up the fourth house on the
street, the garage was open and that was where they headed. Inside the
garage there was a drum set and a couple of guitars along with a mic stand
all set up. Sam felt nervous as he walked up with Alex to the garage.



	There were three other boys all around Alex's age though only one
of them was as tall as Alex as they walked up Alex said, "hey guys, this is
Sam he's going to be watching us play this afternoon. Sam this is Kyle,
Aaron, and Mark." He indicated each of them. Aaron was the one that was as
tall as Alex if not a hair taller, he was really thin with dark black hair
and wore really thick glasses as well and was holding a really big strange
guitar. Behind him sitting on the drums was the boy Mark who had long hair
that was even longer than Alex's and was really light blonde. He looked
bigger, more muscular than the other boys. Kyle was the last one, and the
shortest of the three as well, and his hair was currently died a dark green
for some reason and he carried a guitar that looked like ones that Sam had
seen before on MTV when his brother wanted to watch music videos.



	Mark behind the drums sort of twirled one of his sticks and said,
"Hey there." Then he said to Alex, "what's with the kid?"



	Sam felt like maybe they weren't going to like him being
there. Alex said, "He's cool, remember Halloween night?" He directed that
to Kyle who just shrugged, "well this is my new friend, I met him that
night, helped him out, he's cool I promise."



	The others kind of shrugged and Kyle said, "if you say so, at least
you brought him something for his ears."



	Alex said, "well I remembered how pissed your mom got at you for
letting Kara sit in on us without protection."



	Kyle sighed deeply and said, "fuck is no one ever going to let that
go?" Alex showed him that he could sit on the couch and he told Sam that
they'd warm up and practice for a bit hand then take a break. He indicated
the headphones and Sam shrugged and put them on. They felt really big on
his ears and everything was muffled.



	The music was really loud, even with the headphones he could hear
it but it was muted and he more felt the beats from the instruments through
the garage than he did anything else. He wondered if it was so loud because
the garage was such a small confined space. After a bit he realized that he
could if he listened really hard hear Alex singing. They practiced a few
song and then there was this one song that got really quiet. Sam took his
headphones off when they stared that song. He didn't know what it was, but
it had this really cool sound to it and Alex's voice came out more than the
other parts of the music, especially during one part where the song dipped
into almost nothing but Alex's voice and strumming on the base guitar.



	After that they took a break and Kyle gave them all water to drink
as they sat on the same couch that Sam was on. Alex sat next to him and Sam
realized that Alex was sweaty, he smelled sweaty too, but being this close
to Alex was still really nice despite that. Alex briefly touched his hand
and then they went back to playing again. After that Alex helped the others
put their stuff up and as they were packing up Kyle said, "I got us a gig
next weekend, an actual gig what do you think?"



	Alex looked up where he was putting the microphone back in the
corner of the garage, "where at?"



	"The Moonstone Grill, they're having open band night on one
Saturday a month and I signed us up and they said that we got in."



	Sam noticed that Alex looked a little uncertain, he could tell that
much even though he sort of was just barely getting to know Alex besides
just kissing. Learning that Alex had a band and was a singer was new
information. Learning that Alex didn't care that what his friends thought
of him bringing some `kid' to their practice showed Sam also that Alex had
good friends who respected his decisions. Sam wished he had good
friends. Alex said, "I don't know if I can sing in front of all those
people."



	Kyle said, "they'll mostly be other kids in our school, or their
parents and such its not like a crazy amount of people. Come on man we got
to do this!"



	Alex nodded but Sam could tell he still wasn't sure, and Kyle could
see it as well as he pushed Alex's shoulder a bit and kept doing it until
Alex finally said, "okay okay we'll do it." He smiled and then he looked at
Sam. "Anyway I should get Sam home, I promised he'd be home before six."
After another moment of ribbing and laughter and Kyle mentioning that Alex
probably wanted to go home to call Paula, Alex put his hand on Sam's
shoulder and directed him out of the garage.



	As they were walking Sam said, "whose Paula?"



	Alex stopped a bit, almost stumbling and said, "no one, just some
girl that Rob keeps trying to set me up with and I agreed to go out with
once."



	"Oh," He wasn't sure why he felt sad about that.  He wished right
then that he was older, like the same age as Alex so that they could
actually go out on a date.



	Alex reached over and took Sam's hand as he said, "hey I don't want
to go out with her you know."



	Sam wasn't sure why he felt jealousy, it was stupid he knew that
Alex didn't like girls, he had told him. Still it felt nice to hear Alex
say it for some reason it made him feel warm inside. "Who do you want to go
out with?"



	Alex said, "I think you know who I'd like to go out with."



	Sam felt his cheeks go red when Alex squeezed his hand. Alex's hand
was still a little sweaty from holding the microphone. "What was that one
song, the really soft one that you guys played towards the middle."



	Alex thought for a moment, "Black? Its a Pearl Jam song."



	After a moment Sam said, "it was kind of sad, but also kind of
really pretty." Alex didn't respond and there was some silence between them
after a moment he said, "you're voice was really pretty too."



	Alex said, "you think so? I've always thought it was a little too
scratchy but people say that's what they like about it."



	Sam thought about that for a moment and then said, "I don't know,
it sounded kind of soothing and when you were singing that one song it was
really um deeper sounding.  I think you should be doing those kinds of
songs." They were both quite for a while longer. Sam was afraid that he had
said something wrong, but Alex's hand was still holding his as they crossed
the street to the apartments.



	At the apartments Alex said, "come on up for a moment I want to let
you borrow something." Sam knew that his mom wouldn't be home yet, he
really wished that he could kiss Alex some more. When Alex had been singing
that really sad song he had really wanted Alex to just kiss him and make
the song not sad anymore.



	They walked into the apartment and Sam was surprised when he saw
Alex's mom sitting in that same chair she had been sitting in the night
before. As they walked in Alex said, "hey mom." he kissed her cheek and
said, "this is my friend Sam, he's big brother's a bully so I let him hang
out with me."



	Alex's mom looked like she should be pretty, there was something in
her eyes, in the way her face looked, how her slender frame could have a
bit more to it, as if she was kind of wasting away a bit. Her eyes were the
same brown as Alex's but they were more dull, almost painfully sad to look
at. There was a wine glass in her one hand and an open bottle on the table
in front of the couch. "that's sweet, brother's shouldn't be mean to their
siblings." Her voice was kind of slurred as well.



	Alex gestured and Sam walked with him to the back of the apartment
and into Alex's room. "Don't worry about my mom she won't bother us."



	Sam saw something then that he had not seen on Alex before,
sadness. He thought Alex had been the one who was making him smile and feel
happy, but now Sam wondered if he was making Alex happy as well. It hadn't
occurred to him that kissing and holding hands and all of that was making
Alex feel better as well. "what's wrong with her?"



	Alex stopped going through whatever he was looking through and
turned looking at Sam. He sat down on his bed and Sam slowly sat down next
to him, not sure if he should or not. Not even sure if he should have asked
the question when he saw the pain on Alex's face. "she's just coping as
best as she can."



	Sam said, "I'm sorry.. I... didn't want to make you sad."



	Alex touched his hand then, just resting his on top of Sam's
smaller. "You didn't. I'm sad a lot of times Sam, but its not your fault
and I'm happy when I see you."



	Sam whispered a bit, "and when we kiss you're really happy?"



	Alex squeezed his hand, "very happy."



	Sam thought for a moment, "it makes me really happy too. Just
thinking about kissing you makes me happy." Alex's eyes were looking at him
now. He didn't want to move his eyes off of Alex's either. It felt so nice
just looking up at Alex. Sitting the were closer in height, but Alex was
still the taller and Sam still had to look up at him. He didn't wait for
Alex to lean down further, he just reached up and kissed Alex first this
time without asking.



	At first it felt like Alex hesitated and he thought maybe he had
done a bad thing, he was still so uncertain if he was supposed to ask first
or not. This was all new to him. The hesitation did not last long at
all. Alex returned his kiss and he felt Alex's hand on the back of his
head. This close Alex still smelled of dried sweat but it wasn't that
bad. In fact for some reason Sam found he really didn't mind or notice it
after a few seconds of kissing.



	This time as they kissed when he felt Alex gently suck on his lower
lip Sam knew that the older boy was about to put his tongue in his mouth,
he opened his mouth for Alex and as he leaned into the kiss more, the older
boys bigger tongue pushing into his mouth as a welcome invader. Alex's
tongue pushed around Sam's and this time Sam fell back onto his back as
Alex leaned over him, the two of them still kissing. One of Alex's hand was
still on the side of his face siding up a bit into his hair as he rested
his head on Alex's pillow. He reached up as well putting his hand on Alex's
head this time, trying to run his smaller hands through the older boys
hair.



	When he felt one of Alex's hands on his stomach his fingers moving
over it under his shirt Sam giggled at the feeling, the ticklish way that
Alex was moving his fingers made the giggles escape the ten year old
breaking their kiss. Alex's fingers stopped moving on his stomach, he could
feel the older boys hand on his belly with each rise of his breath. "Sorry
I forgot how ticklish you were."



	Sam flushed, "it was nice."



	Alex sat up slowly and Sam saw him sort of twist and adjust his
jeans a bit. Sam sat up slowly too not sure why their kissing had
stopped. Even with the tickles it had all felt really nice. Alex though
seemed hesitant and Sam knew it had something to do with what they had
talked about yesterday, about what they should or shouldn't be doing
because he was only ten. Alex touched Sam's cheek again after a moment and
said, "I promised you something." He stood up again and Sam stayed on the
bed watching him. "Do you have a CD player?" Alex said looking back at am



	Sam shook his head, "no."



	Alex nodded, "well here you can borrow my other one, but only if
you promise to bring it back."



	Sam smiled at that, "you know where I live."



	Alex pulled out a CD and said, "listen at half volume or less not
full okay?"



	Alex sat back down on the bed next to Sam again handing Sam the CD
player. Sam took it looking at it and said, "thanks." He wasn't sure if he
was going to like the music or not but he figured that if Alex liked it
he'd give it a shot since he liked Alex. Sam studied it for a moment then
he put it down on the bed next to him and moved so that he was sitting on
Alex's lap facing him. He could tell that it surprised Alex, as he looked
at Sam. It took Alex only a moment as Sam looked into his eyes to again
lean over and kiss Sam. Sam wanted it, he wanted Alex to kiss him again,
when it had stopped earlier he hadn't been ready for it to stop.



	Alex's hand was on the back of his head, holding him there on his
lap as he leaned up to kiss Alex. He moved pressing more to Alex as he felt
the older boy's tongue in his mouth. As the kiss continued Sam moved his
hand. He put it on Alex's stomach first between them, and then slowly moved
it down to the top of Alex's jeans. He had to know, the brief feeling of it
that first day on his back made him curious. He pressed down on the jeans,
in the middle between the two of them with his fingers. He pulled back from
their kiss as his hand rested on Alex's jeans. He looked down at where he
was touching.



	Sam could feel it, the shape of Alex's boner in his jeans when he
pressed his fingers to them, rubbing over it. Alex put his hand on top of
Sam's, stopping him as it rested right on the length. It was so big, not
like monstrous or something but it was way bigger than Sam's own stiff
penis. Alex said, "I don't think that's a good idea Sam."



	Sam kept his hand there with Alex's still on top of it, "I just
wanted to know if you had a boner like the other day."



	Alex smiled, "I do, kissing you makes me get them."



	Sam said, "yeah me too see!" He took Alex's hand before Alex could
say something and put it on his own jeans where he was all stiff too. "my
boner's not as big." Alex stroked it a few times though through the jeans.



	He stopped rubbing it though which Sam thought was a shame because
it actually felt pretty nice being rubbed like that through his jeans. He
wondered what it would be like without his jeans on. "Well you're
younger..." he stopped for a second and moved his hand away which Sam
thought was a shame because it had felt nice. He squeezed Sam's shoulder
and looked at his watch. "I think its close to when your mom gets home."



	Sam looked at Alex's watch too and said, "Yeah, it is." He slipped
off of Alex's lap feeling disappointed, he wanted to do more even if it was
just rubbing Alex's penis through his jeans he wanted to feel what it felt
like some more. For some reason he was really curious about how big it was
and what it would feel like.



	Sam flushed at his own thoughts and Alex kissed the top of his
head, that felt nice too but not like how it felt when his mom did it. He
put the CD player in Sam's hand along with the same headphones and said,
"here just take a listen and we'll talk about it tomorrow."



	Sam said, "oh, I can't come over tomorrow I uh have a soccer game."



	He saw something pass on Alex's face that looked like
disappointment. "Well that's okay you can bring it back over the following
day. Come on I think I should get you back to your apartment."



	Sam said, "I'll be okay."



	Alex said, "well I'd like to walk with you anyway, it gives me a
little more time with you. Unless...."



	Sam took his hand, "no I'd like that too!"



	They walked out of the house with Sam holding the CD player and
headphones. As they started over to his building he saw his mom walking
with groceries in paper bags one of the ones she was holding with a hand
was about to fall. Alex saw it as well, reaching over and grabbing it
before it fell and Sam's mom said, "oh, thank you." She saw Sam then and he
came over taking another one of the bags. Sam knew that Alex would probably
be afraid of meeting his mom but Sam knew that his mom getting to know Alex
would mean that he got to hang out there more often. So half of the work
was already done in Sam's eyes.



	As they started towards the apartment Sam said, "mom this is Alex,
he walked me home Halloween."



	He could see a flash of anger in his moms eyes as she said, "and
why did someone have to walk you home on Halloween?"



	Before Sam could tell his mom that his brother had left him alone
Alex said, "he got separated from his brother and I was going to a party at
the house that he ended up in front of. I live in 431 right over there." He
gestured at the other building. "I knew that Sam lived here because I'd
seen him before." Sam smiled at that remembering how Alex had told him that
he'd watch him get off of the bus. It felt nice knowing that someone liked
him like how he liked them. Even if it was all new and he had to get used
to it.



	They were at the house now and Sam opened the door, his brother
wasn't at home despite being grounded if their mom wasn't there he always
just left anyway. Sam put his bag down and Alex did as well as Sam said,
"then since Billy wasn't back yet and he was afraid that I was going to be
home alone he let me play playstation at his place. Oh and today I met
Kyle, Aaron, and Jake they're in a band together!"



	He saw the bit of surprise on his mom's face but he also saw her
studying Alex. Finally she said, "a band huh?"



	Alex said, "uh yes ma'am um I made sure that he wore headphones to
protect his ears."



	Sam's mom said, "Karen, I don't think I like being called ma'am
after a whole day at work being called the same. Despite the name tag I
wear."



	Alex said, "sorry, my parents just always taught me to respect
adults."



	Sam smiled big, he already knew that Alex was winning all the right
points. His mom said, "Sam's not a bother is he? I could tell him to leave
you alone if he is. I imagine you and your friends have got your own things
to deal with."



	Alex said, "he's not a bother, if anything its been nice having
someone to play games with," here Sam saw some sadness in Alex's face and
he wanted desperately to know what made Alex so sad when he thought about
certain things. "If I'm not busy and he wants to hang out I don't mind."



	Sam saw it then, his mom had just fully been won over. Alex didn't
see it, he had no idea but Sam knew. Sam said, "I wont bother him mom, I
always ask first if I can go over and play the playstation and I always go
after I finish my homework."



	His mom said, "I doubt that last one." She looked back over at
Alex, "If he's not a bother its better than him sitting in the apartment
all day even if its just at another apartment, but if you're going to take
him to the band thing he'll wear ear protection every time?"



	Alex said, "Yes ma- uh Karen."



	His mom smiled a bit and said, "I'd prefer Sam to hang out with
kids his own age, but if he likes you and your friends then you must be
nice kids. The only rule I have is no sweets and no sodas if he's going to
be over at your apartment." Then she looked at Sam and said, "and if Alex
tells you to leave or that he's busy you respect that you hear me young
man? You can't just go over there and play games whenever you want and
inconvenience him."



	Sam said, "yes mom I promise." he felt really happy, he had known
his mom would like Alex. He liked Alex, so of course his mom would.



	"Go wash up for dinner."



	Sam said, "okay." He hugged his mom, "thanks!" Then he quickly
hugged Alex too because he wanted to hug Alex too.



	He was heading into the bathroom after stopping to grab his pajamas
in his bedroom where he had left them on his bed this morning, when he
heard his mom say, "you're sure he's not a problem?"



	Alex said, "no, he's not. I didn't intend to become his friend that
night but he seemed like he really needed someone."



	Sam stood there in the hallway between his bedroom and the bathroom
knowing he shouldn't be listening but he couldn't stop himself. His mom
said, "Sam doesn't make friends easily, and since the divorce he's been
dealing with his brother's horrible side more and more. I don't like
leaving the two of them alone and I don't want to burden you with
something. You seem like a sweet kid Alex, but if Sam is too much trouble
ever..."



	Alex interrupted his mom, "he's not and he won't be. He's actually
made me smile and have fun for the first time in a long time." There was
some quiet there for a moment and Sam felt so guilty listening to Alex's
private conversation with his mom. Still if he even got a glimpse of what
was hurting Alex so much sometimes maybe he'd know how to make it
better. "I was certain that you wouldn't like him hanging out with an older
kid."



	His mom said, "I'd be concerned, if he wasn't happier than he's
been in a long time these past two days. I'm not about to ruin that." Then
another moment and his mom said, "just don't hurt my son."



	Alex said, "never, you can trust me." Another pause, "he would have
gotten along famously with my sister. So no he's not a bother at all
ma'am... uh Karen."



	Sister? Alex had a sister? Sam wondered why he never mentioned
her. His mom called out to the back of the apartment, "I don't hear any
running water!" Sam quickly went into the bathroom and started the
shower. He felt so guilty about over hearing his mom and Alex's
conversation. When he came out of the bathroom dressed in his pajamas Alex
was gone and his brother was home and in trouble for leaving the house.



	After dinner he helped his mom clean and she said, "you don't have
to help me Sam."



	Sam said, "I know mom." After a moment he said, "Alex never told me
he had a sister."



	His mom paused on the dish she was cleaning, "I don't think he
wants to talk about that to anyone Sam, he changed that subject really
quickly after you started your shower. Don't pry, its not your business
unless he wants to talk about it."



	Sam said, "I know, I really do like Alex even if he's older."



	His mom smiled and said, "no sweetie you like Alex because he's
older, I still don't know how I feel about it, but I won't fight you on it
if you're happy even if the friends you make are older than you." She
stopped for a second, "but if he or any of his friends ever try to make you
do something you don't want to do, or touch you in a way you don't want..."



	Sam sighed and said, "I know mom, Alex wouldn't do that. Honest."
His mom nodded and Sam thought to himself: well when he does touch me I
want it so it was okay for him to do it. After he helped with the dishes he
lay on his bed and did listen to the CD that Alex gave him at half volume
as instructed. When he got to the song Black he realized what band it was
he was listening to. He fell asleep to the music despite the heaviness of
it. This was something Alex liked, he wasn't sure if he liked it or not
other than that one song, but he liked that it brought him closer to Alex.



- - - -



End of Part 1.

I hope you enjoyed this and that you're looking forward to the next parts
of the story as well.  As always thanks for reading and for any responses I
get back regarding this or anything else I write.  They are always
appreciated.  I don't write these stories for the responses I write them
because I love the characters I create and I just hope that they give
others good feelings too!  Also I love exploring the newness of first love,
that first relationship, that first discovery of what it means to give
yourself to someone else.  I feel like Part 1 nails this really well and I
just hope that Parts 2 and 3 manage to complete it as good as Part 1 starts
everything.

You can reach me at chaosmode00@gmail.com if you want.

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