Date: Sat, 23 Nov 2019 09:26:54 -0600
From: Not Given <chaosmode00@gmail.com>
Subject: Sam and Alex Part 3

Sam and Alex Part 3
By: Chaosmode

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Copyright: Chaosmode November 2019.

Disclaimers and Opening Intro: This story is a work of fiction as always,
the characters are not real and if they're based on anyone it is not
intentional.  This story was also posted somewhere else originally in
smaller chunks and has been altered and edited to better fit as one
cohesive story.  A few small things have been changed, but the main
storyline has stayed the same.  The characters and their interactions are
exactly the same as I intended and the story is one complete thought now
and heavily edited to that end.

Also this story takes place sometime around 2002 or 2003, as such I've
tried to fit the technology to that time period.

This is the third and final part of the story.  We come to the
conclusion. I feel that this is a satisfying end to this story.  I do not
like sad endings, or painful ones.  I just hope that everyone loves where I
leave Sam and Alex.  I felt it was the right place to leave this glimpse
into a time of their lives...



As always thanks for reading and for any feedback you want to give.









Chapter Nine







	Alex sat in the car next to his dad as they pulled into the
hospital parking lot.  Alex hated hospitals and everything about them and
the people that ran them.  All of his experiences with hospitals and
doctors came from the last year of Sarah's life. Those moments when he had
sat there by his mom and dad watching as Sarah passed after months of
torture all the while being treated for the wrong thing.  That last year
though Alex held onto it with all of his might, treasuring every moment
that he could remember of it.  Sarah had been his, sure he'd make fun of
her or ignore her sometimes when she was especially annoying, but anyone
else touch a hair on her head and they were dead.



	Things had changed though when Sarah had gotten sick.  He stopped
picking on her and would just do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.
For that year and some months from shortly before her fifth birthday until
three months after her sixth she was his and his parents entire focus.  He
still missed her every day, it was less as the three years since her death
had made it easier but he knew that neither of his parents had been able to
get beyond the death.  His father still raged at the world, his mother
drank.  Alex had thought that he would never be able to fill that one
little hole in his heart, then he had met Sam.  Sam didn't fill the hole,
he showed Alex that he didn't have to fill the hole, all he had to do was
love someone who loved him and somehow that made the world a better place.



	So while his pain at the loss of Sarah was still there, as it
always would be, he now knew that it didn't stop him from living or feeling
a different kind of love.  He didn't love Sam like a brother, not even like
a friend.  He loved Sam because, well because he was Sam.  It had started
as infatuation, realization that he liked boys, wanting to just know this
one in particular regardless of age difference.  Now though instead of
imagining things with Sam from afar he had Sam and the most astounding
thing about that was that it was far more wonderful than Alex had ever
imagined.



	Still even having Sam in his life didn't make going to the hospital
any easier for Alex.  He hated the place even if it wasn't the same
hospital that had mismanaged Sarah's care to him they were all the same.
His dad though only gave one sigh before turning off the car and the two of
them headed inside.  They went up to the third floor and his moms room.
She had broken her arm in two places and had needed surgery for a ruptured
spleen, and of course her car was a total loss as his dad had told him that
insurance would cover it but it would be weeks before she had a new car or
could even work.



	As they walked into the hospital room Alex could only feel the pain
of memories of a room like this three years ago.  The memory of sitting
there beside his mom holding her hand while she was holding his sister's.
Watching as Sarah breathed her last, his mom saying it was too soon,
begging with the gods or whoever to not take her away.  That day had broken
them, shattered the family into pieces.  His mom lay on the bed with an IV
tube hooked up to her left arm, her right one was in a cast.  When they
came in she looked over at them both with blurry eyes.  "You shouldn't have
brought him Steven."



	His dad sat down next to the bed and said, "He needs to see you
Mary."



	His mom sighed a bit and said, "you're going to lecture me about
how he's our responsibility and I should stop drinking, well then where
have you been Steven."



	"I've been out there trying to make sure that our little..."



	Alex sighed and walked out of the hospital room.  He didn't have to
hear the rest of the argument.  A bit later his dad came and got him and he
sat in while the doctors went over his mom's condition and that she would
be able to come home in a few days.  In the car ride back to the apartment
Alex didn't talk with his dad.  He had heard their arguments before.  His
dad always thought he was in the right, his mom always thought he had
abandoned her and his son.  Sarah had been everything to his parents.  She
had been the favorite but she had been six years younger than Alex so he
had loved doting on her as much as his parents.  Sure she had been annoying
at times and he had played jokes on her but he had never treated her like
how Sam's brother treated him.



	As they were approaching the apartment his dad said, "you know you
could come stay with me for a few days."



	"No thanks dad. I've got school and there's plenty of food and
anyway it would really put you out having to drive me so far to school in
the mornings."  He didn't want to go stay in his dads one bedroom apartment
on the other side of town.  He wanted to be close to his friends, close to
Sam.



	As his dad parked the car he reached over and touched Alex's
shoulder, "listen if your mom ever becomes too much Alex, there's always
the option of coming to live with me.  You're not responsible for her."



	Alex sighed a bit and said, "I'm fine dad, thanks."  He wanted to
rage at his dad, tell him that his mom was broken not only from the loss of
Sarah but from the way that her husband had treated her after their girl
had died.  Alex climbed out of the car and walked back towards his
apartment.  He didn't want to go back inside.  To see the place with the
eyes of what he had seen at the hospital.  He didn't think the accident
would be a wake up call.  His mom was still suffering from the loss and she
wouldn't let the wound heal just like his dad.



	He leaned back on the bottom few steps and closed his eyes.  The
feeling of someone close by him made Alex open his eyes.  Sam was sitting
there, dressed now in a tee-shirt that was a little too big on him and a
pair of jeans that were the same.  His dark brown hair had fallen over one
of his eyes, he didn't talk he just sat there by Alex.  Alex reached out
and took Sam's hand, it was comforting just holding the younger boy's hand,
fingers entwined together.  Sam softly said, "how's your mom?"



	"She's fine, just a broken arm.  She's lucky that she just hit a
pole and not people."  Alex sighed and continued, "I didn't know her
drinking had gotten to this point."



	Sam said, "does your mom drink because of Sarah?"



	Alex almost wanted to pull away from Sam, the memories that him
saying her name brought up suddenly flooding him.  He wanted to tell Sam it
wasn't something he wanted to talk about.  If there was anyone he could
talk about Sarah with he knew instinctively it was Sam.  "Yes, she drinks
to forget."



	Sam was quite for a bit, "what happened to Sarah?"



	Alex didn't know if he could answer or not at first but some part
of him knew talking about it with Sam was something he should do.  "she
died, she had this really rare disease and it sort of destroyed her from
the inside.  She'd always been kind of frail and small for her age but the
doctors said that was nothing unusual. Then at five she got really sick and
they said she had cancer and they treated her for that all the while she
kept getting worse... then one day we found out from a nurse that they had
been hiding the truth for a very long time."



	Silence, he was afraid he had said too much, or afraid that Sam
hadn't been able to take it in.  Afraid that Sam might not know what to say
either.  Sam touched his cheek, it was then that Alex realized he had shed
a few tears.  His eyes were full of concern, "you miss her still."



	Alex nodded, "yes."  He squeezed Sam's hand.  He wanted to do more
than that, he wanted to hug the little boy tightly to kiss him and forget
his loss, but they were in a public place.  "I'm sorry Sam its not a burden
you need to worry about."



	Sam said, "what did Sarah like to do?"



	Alex smiled, "find new and interesting ways to annoy her big
brother.  She'd annoy me to the point that I'd have to put down whatever I
was doing and play whatever new game she had invented with her until she
got bored.  She also liked coloring and dolls and all of the kind of stuff
you'd expect a girl of four or five to like."



	Sam still holding his hand said, "do you think she would have liked
me?"



	Alex did hug Sam then, he held him tightly at his side, "Sam she
would have loved you."



	They didn't talk after that, neither knowing what more to say, that
was how Sam's mom found them sitting on the bottom step as she approached
from around the corner she said, "I took a wild guess.  He's not bothering
you is he Alex?"



	Alex said, "no, not at all."



	"Sam told me about your mom."  She stopped at the steps, he had let
go of Sam's hand reluctantly but he had done so.  "Is she okay?"



	"Yes, they're keeping her for the next few days to make sure that
the surgery for the ruptured spleen went okay, but her arm has to stay in a
cast for a few weeks."



	Karen smiled, "well that's good at least its not too bad.  If you
want we could set an extra plate for dinner."



	Alex said, "I don't..."



	Sam interrupted, "come on Alex, my mom makes the best whatever
we're having.  Uh what are we having?"  He turned to look at his mom.



	"Spaghetti."



	Sam smiled, "that's the best see, come on Alex."  He stood up and
tugged on Alex's arm.



	His mom said, "If he doesn't want to Sam."



	Alex stood as he said, "it sounds delicious."  Back at the house
Sam had to go take his shower before dinner and his big brother Billy was
already dressed in his pajamas.  A part of Alex wanted to ask the older
brother why he was so mean to his little brother, but another part of him
knew to leave it alone.  Since Sam spent most afternoons over at his place
now anyway Billy hadn't been picking on him as much.  Also since Karen knew
about Sam hanging out at Alex's there was really nothing he could do to
blackmail his little brother about it.



	At dinner he sat next to Sam and the spaghetti was indeed very
good.  Every now and then he'd reach over and find Sam's hand to hold it
and the younger boy would squeeze his hand as well.  After dinner Alex
helped Karen with the dishes while Billy and Sam made sure that all of
their homework was done.  As he was handing her a dish Karen said, "I
wanted to thank you for being Sam's friend.  At first I was worried about
him hanging out with older kids, that you would try to get him to do things
he didn't want to do, or any other horrible things you hear about."



	Alex said, "Sam's helped me as much as I have helped him.  Having
him, being his friend its made me better, happier.  I hadn't even realized
how much I needed a really good friend."



	She stopped and put a hand on his arm, "exactly the two of you
found someone to be friends with that would help you during these hard
times.  I just know that most boys your age are focused on girls and maybe
drugs, so I'm glad that he made friends with one who's focused on school
and music."



	Alex smiled, "I'm glad I met Sam as well, he's made my life
better."





	Karen handed him another dish as she said, "well if you ever need a
place for dinner let me know and we can set you a place."  A moment after
that they were done with the dishes and Alex needed to head home.  As he
started to leave Karen said, "you should say goodnight to Sam, he's
probably in his room still doing homework."



	Alex nodded and walked down the hall to Sam's bedroom.  The door
had his name on it written in letters, and it was open with him laying on
his bed on his stomach a math book open.  "Hey."



	Sam rolled over so that he could see Alex and said, "you leaving?"



	Alex nodded, "yup, how's the homework?"



	Sam shrugged, `its math, it sucks."



	Alex walked in and sat down on the bed close to Sam, "well I'm
probably the last person to ask about math.  What's the problem?"



	Sam said, "its okay."



	Alex put his hand on Sam's once briefly, "you know I don't mind
helping you Sam."



	Sam flushed, "I know, but I can't really explain it, I just need to
figure it out for myself."



	Alex nodded and kissed Sam's hand once, "Well then I'll see you
tomorrow afternoon?"  He was hopeful.



	Sam said, "yeah, I'll stop by after school... and Alex?"



	He stared to stand but stopped, "yes Sam?"



	"Thanks for telling me about Sarah."



	Alex kissed the top of Sam's head, "thanks for listening."  He
softly whispered, "I love you Sam."



	Sam whispered back, "I love you too Alex."  Then he kissed his lips
once before Alex realized it.  For the first time that night when he
thought about Sarah it still hurt but he realized having someone to talk
about her with even briefly really had helped.  Being able to share with
Sam having the younger boy there warming his heart as he talked about his
loss had really been the answer.  If only he could find a way to heal his
parents.  Maybe that wasn't his job, maybe they had to find the answer for
themselves as well.















Chapter Ten.









	The sound of thunder rumbling as he stepped off of the bus made Sam
look up at the clouds in the sky briefly before heading towards the
apartments.  Yesterday was still on the boys mind, the stuff in the
afternoon actually weighed on him more than the stuff in the morning but
the stuff in the morning had been some of the most incredible things ever.
Still it felt to him like talking with Alex about Sarah in the evening had
been more important than the other stuff even though the other stuff had
made him feel really good.  A few small sprinkles of water fell from the
sky, it was November now and those sprinkles could turn to ice if the
weather got bad enough.



	Sam wore a jacket today over his tee-shirt and a cap as well as his
mom insisted that all of his heat came out of his head and the last thing
that he needed was to catch a cold.  As he walked further into the complex
a part of him despite all that he had learned in the past few weeks was
still afraid that Alex might not be there.  Yet he was, of course as always
sitting on that bottom step of building four this time with a book in his
hands that he was reading.  Sam stopped for a moment just looking at
Alex. He wasn't sure if Alex was attractive in the sense that others would
say he was, to Sam the way he treated him was far more important than what
he looked like.



	Still he supposed that Alex was attractive, he wasn't overweight,
he had really nice hair, some small amount of muscle, really nice eyes.
Sam wasn't sure what Alex saw in him, he had a vague understanding that
Alex liked other boys but he liked them younger than himself.  There were
all kinds of questions about that which Sam could bring up but he didn't
really care, all he cared about was that Alex liked him and treated him
right.  Alex didn't make him do things, and about the worst thing he did
was tickle him when he wasn't asking for it but that was all fun and games.



	The book Alex was reading Sam saw was called Harry Potter and the
Goblet of Fire.  Sam had heard of the series but he hadn't actually read
the books.  As he walked closer Alex closed the book and watched him.  He
walked up to where Alex was and stood there on the curb by the bottom
steps.  "Hey."  He wasn't sure why he always felt awkward in the first few
moments.  He knew Alex really well now but he still felt shy and afraid
that he might be rejected.



	Alex said, "if you want after you put your bag down you could come
over and play some games?"



	Sam smiled, "sure, I'll be right over."  He headed over to his
building aware that Alex's eyes stayed on him, he was less nervous now.  He
walked into the apartment and saw that once again Billy wasn't there.  On
Friday Billy and his friend Alan had gotten caught putting firecrackers
into the Jensen mailbox by the Jensen's.  Sam only learned about it
yesterday when he went home, but apparently Billy wasn't supposed to hang
out with Alan anymore.  Sam knew though that wasn't going to stop Billy and
Alan.  Neither Billy's nor Alan's parents were home in the afternoons and
they were free to do what they wanted.  Sam for his part didn't care what
Billy did, as long as he left him alone.



	He put his bag down in his room and grabbed Alex's CD player and
brought that over to Alex's house with him.  He thought about knocking but
then decided that Alex knew he was coming over so he opened the door and
said, "Alex?"





	Alex from his room said, "back here."  Sam walked back into the
back of the house, walking into Alex's room, expecting to find him there.



	He walked into the room, the overhead light was off but the light
by the bed was on, putting the room in shadows.  The door to the room was
wide open and he could see most of the room from where he stood but he
didn't see Alex.  "Um Alex?"  He stepped further into the room, "I uh
brought your CD..."  The sound of the door closing made Sam jump and then
Alex was there, grabbing him, tackling him onto the bed as he tickled his
sides.  Sam tried to squirm away as Alex's fingers were on his sides under
his jacket, digging his fingers into Sam's sensitive spots.



	Sam squirmed and kicked, trying to get away but Alex was merciless,
digging his fingers into Sam's sides making his giggles escape in little
breaths.  Finally he stopped, leaning over Sam, who tried to catch his
breath.  Alex's lips touched his own then, a simple light kiss and Sam's
entire mood changed.  Alex tried to pull back but Sam pulled up with him so
that he was sitting on the bed with Alex.  He felt Alex's fingers slide
through his hair as he sat on his knees in front of him.  Sam pushed onto
Alex pushing him back onto the bed as they fell together this time with Sam
on top of of him.



	Sam kissed Alex this time, his lips connecting and playing with the
older boys as he felt Alex's hands on his jacket pulling it off of him.  He
sat up on Alex's stomach so the teenager could pull the jacket off and toss
it to the floor then Sam leaned back down over him pushing his mouth almost
hungrily to Alex's.  Sam wasn't sure where his desire came from, two weeks
ago he barely knew about kissing now he hungered to feel the pleasure that
doing it with Alex brought him.  He knew now as well how to bring it out.
So his lips met Alex's, as the older boy ran a hand through his hair and
Sam rested his hands on Alex's shoulders resting on top of him.



	Alex's tongue twisted with his own, their hunger for one another
slowly began to envelop both of them.  He felt one of Alex's hands on his
back now, sliding down, stroking his back through his tee-shirt.  When he
felt Alex's hand slid under his shirt Sam groaned pressing his lips harder
to Alex's own.  The younger boy could feel his penis growing in his pants
as he continued to kiss Alex, as the older boys tongue pushed into his
mouth as well.  He felt constrained with the sudden growth in his pants.
Alex held onto him as he lifted him and brought Sam down onto the bed with
Alex on top now.



	Alex broke their kiss, his hands on Sam's shirt, "can I undress you
Sam?"



	Sam flushed, "yes."  Alex pulled at the shirt, Sam sat up so he
could pull it off all the way and then Alex gently pushed Sam back down
onto the bed.  The other day briefly when Alex had touched him Sam had felt
afraid, but it had only lasted for a moment before he had felt better than
he had ever in his life.  Alex's hands were on his sides, rubbing up and
down them, from the bottom up to his pits, but he wasn't doing it with soft
flutter touches that sent tickles through his body.  It did tickle a little
but when Alex started kissing his neck the tickles disappeared.  Alex's
lips sucked at Sam's neck, slowly sliding down over his collarbones.  His
hand traced the length of them each touch a small little fire in the
preteens body as Alex continued.



	Sam could feel it as Alex's fingers ran down his arms stroking
them, meeting his own smaller fingers, holding them as his lips connected
to one of Sam's nipples.  Sam squirmed a bit as Alex's lips touched his
second nipple, his hands now sliding down to Sam's middle.  The kisses
followed, sliding down over the middle of his chest, down to his stomach.
Those little fires that had started in Sam's stomach were now flying around
his entire body, stoked by the touches that Alex gave him.  He felt Alex's
fingers on his jeans, undoing the button, pulling at the zipper.



	Sam looked down at Alex's head as the older boy kissed his stomach,
his lips lightly playing with Sam's belly button, as his hands pulled at
the ten year olds jeans dragging them down to his ankles.  Sam rested a
hand in Alex's hair as Alex ran a finger along the length of the preteens
erection in his briefs, feeling the length of it, rubbing over it.  Alex
pushed his mouth over the head through the briefs, sucking a bit at Sam
through his underwear.  Sam gasped, his hand in Alex's hair holding tighter
before Alex pulled at the briefs sliding them down to Sam's ankles with his
jeans getting both of them off along with his sneakers.



	He could feel Alex's fingers on him, stroking him now, sliding the
skin down revealing the head.  Sam gasped again as Alex's tongue flicked
over the head, sliding around it in a circle before his lips slowly closed
over it, pulling all of Sam's length into his mouth.  Sam had one hand on
Alex's head and sort of pressed down on the older boys head, he didn't know
if the pleasure was too much or what was going on, but he knew he didn't
want it to stop.  Alex was rubbing him with his tongue, the older boy
exploring the length with it as one of his hands stroked Sam's stomach.



	Alex lifted Sam suddenly and they twisted so that Sam was on top of
Alex.  He positioned Sam so that his legs were on either side of his neck
and Alex brought him back into his mouth as he sat on top of Alex like
that.  Sam put his hands on Alex's head looking down, Alex's eyes open
looking up at him as he pushed his mouth down on him. Sam gasped, pushing
into Alex's mouth as he felt Alex' hands on his back, sliding over and
holding his butt, squeezing on it as he pushed Sam's erection into his
mouth.  Sam felt on fire as Alex sucked him and held his butt pushing him
towards Alex's mouth. He gasped and held tightly onto Alex's head perhaps
pulling the older boys hair a bit as he arched up and felt those fires
escape him everywhere.



	He fell off of Alex, laying on his back on Alex's bed trying to
catch his breath.  Then after a moment he moved, sitting up on his own
reaching for Alex's jeans.  When he undid the button Alex said, "Sam, its
not..."



	Sam started to undo the zipper, "I want to see it again.  Now that
I know what happened I want to see it happen."  Alex didn't fight him.  If
he had Sam would just point out that he had let Alex see him naked too.  He
wasn't as big as Alex so getting Alex's jeans down wasn't as easy for him
as it was for Alex but the older boy didn't help him. Maybe Alex could
sense that Sam wanted to do it for himself.  He got Alex's jeans down to
his ankles and then after pulling off his sneakers he got the jeans off
too.  In Alex's boxers his penis was making a big tent, it was twitching a
bit and Sam realized that he wanted to do more than just see it again.



	He pulled at the boxers, having to drag them up and over the head
until it was exposed.  He pulled the boxers down all the way then sat on
Alex's legs looking at his much bigger penis.  It was resting on Alex's
stomach, throbbing and twitching a bit.  Sam moved up a bit more, taking
hold of it with both of his hands as he did Alex said, "careful."  Sam
nodded and bit his bottom lip as he stroked the shaft of Alex's penis.  It
was so much bigger than his own when he touched it, the feeling of it in
his fingers, sliding over it.  He wondered what it would feel like to put
his own up to Alex's like how he had done Sunday morning but now with his
clothes off.



	He moved sliding up until he was even with Alex and still holding
Alex at the head he pushed his own penis up to Alex's.  He took hold of
both of them in is hand, rubbing his hand over Alex's shaft and his own,
stroking them both together as he pressed his penis to Alex's.  The
teenager said, "Sam... I'm going to..."  Sam rubbed his penis against
Alex's still holding the older boys up with his hand on the other side as
he rubbed his boner against the teenagers bigger one.  He looked down at
what he was doing the head of Alex's penis pointed at his face as he pushed
his own shaft up the length of it his hand holding the two of them rubbing
them.  Alex warned again, "Sam..."  He just stroked both of them with his
fingers pressing the two dicks to one another as he rubbed.



	The first load that shot out shocked Sam, it spurted from the head
of Alex's penis and landed right on his nose, dropping from there as
another warm load shot out hitting Sam's cheek.  Sam in shock dropped it as
more shot out most of it coating Alex's stomach.  Sam touched the bit that
had landed on his cheek, it was kind of sticky a little bit warm, and white
in color.  Alex said, "shit Sam..."



	Sam smiled and said, "that was cool!  I made it do that?" Alex
nodded and Sam thought for a moment looking at the stuff on Alex's stomach
and on his finger, "if I... put it in my mouth and that stuff came out
would it hurt?"



	"Sam..."



	Sam said, "come on Alex, would it?"



	"No.. but Sam I don't expect you to do that."



	Sam studied his fingers, "I know you don't Alex, but I think I'd
like to try."  He studied his finger again and then put it in his mouth.
Alex was a bit shocked, Sam didn't get why, if he was going to try doing
what Alex did to him with his mouth then he needed to know what it tasted
like.  It was kind of tasteless, but kind of had a like a snot taste to it
if not a bit... he wasn't sure how to describe it but honestly he had
tasted worse things than Alex's stuff.



	Alex pulled his shirt off and used it clean his stomach and Sam's
own face off after he did that he pulled Sam down onto the bed with him,
holding him.  They didn't talk for a bit, Sam just rested in the crook of
Alex's arm his head on the older boys shoulder and his hand on Alex's
stomach.  He watched as Alex's penis went from soft to hard again as well
and said, "you got big again Alex."



	Alex said, "yeah I was thinking of how nice it feels having you
right here."



	Sam sat up to look at Alex, "I could play with it again if you
want."



	Alex stroked his hair, "its fine Sam, you don't have to do anything
other than be here with me." Sam snuggled in again resting his head on
Alex's shoulder.  That was when the phone in the living room rang and Alex
got up to go get it.  In the distance he could hear Alex, "yes ma'am Karen
he is here," A pause, "uh uh," another pause, "no its not a problem.
Really its not.  I don't mind, it'll be nice to have company with my mom
still in the hospital till Tuesday."



	A moment later Alex came back into the room as he did Sam said,
"was that my mom?"



	Alex nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Yeah, its gotten
really bad out there since you came over here.  Your mom is trapped up at
the restaurant and she already got with Alan's parents to make sure that
Billy would be able to stay over there.  She figured you might be here."





	Sam got up walking over to Alex's window and pulled back the shade
to look out side.  It was raining really hard now but it wasn't rain, it
was ice sheets that were pouring down from the sky.  Thunder sounded then
and the light by Alex's bed flickered and went off.  Sam jumped as
lightning lit up the sky and Alex came over to where he was resting his
hands on his shoulders, "you okay?"



	Sam felt something pressing to his back and flushed when he
realized what it was.  He said, "yeah."  He turned back around looking up
at Alex then he looked down at where Alex was stiff.  Sam put his hands on
Alex's penis, his mood had changed, he wanted to feel it make stuff again.
"How do I... put my mouth on it."



	Alex swallowed, "Sam,"



	He looked up at Alex, "you put yours on mine, I want to try it too.
You said if I wanted to try it we would and I want to try this."



	Alex smiled and stroked his cheek, "okay, you win if you want to
try you can try.  I know you've licked a Popsicle right?  Well its sort of
like that, or sucking on a straw how you get liquid out kind of like that
too.  You felt what I was doing right?  I don't know if I can describe it
just right, you just have to find of feel it out.  I don't think you can
really do it wrong, I know I'll enjoy it no matter what because its you
trying it."



	Sam nodded looking down at it again as it was in hands still softly
throbbing a bit.  Alex led him back over to the bed, sitting down on the
edge of it so that Sam could see his erection better.  Outside the storm
still raged, in here it was just him and Alex, and that big thing between
Alex's legs.  Sam still held it in one of his hand studying it. He was a
little scared, but not in a way of he felt forced into this more of a way
that sent thrills through his young body.  He wanted to make Alex feel good
but more than that he wanted to know if he could do this or not.



	Alex didn't rush him, or tell him that he should just do it.  He
sat there patiently waiting for Sam to make his own decisions.  He knew
that Alex wouldn't ever make him do something but he also knew that he
wanted to do this.  He leaned down, his hand still holding Alex's penis as
he leaned down further.  The sort of musky smell that he had smelled on his
fingers was still there as he put his lips to the top of Alex's dick.  It
was warm and soft under his lips, and he licked them tasting a bit of what
had been left after Alex's last cum.



	He ran his tongue over it, and tried to remember what Alex had done
to his own earlier.  He moved his hand down from the shaft to the balls
touching them between Alex's legs as the older teen leaned back on his
hands.  Sam licked his lips again and slowly put his mouth down on the top
of the head where the pee-hole was.  He sucked gently like how Alex had
done on the top of his own.  His mind struggled between remembering and
also wanting to make Alex feel good.  Alex said, "just open your mouth some
more Sam, take in what you feel like you can."



	Sam nodded a bit and opened his mouth, sliding down on Alex's
penis. The head filled his open mouth as he sucked it inside.  He could
feel it pressing on his tongue, the top of it slide around his teeth and he
opened his mouth more so that they weren't touching it.  A part of Sam
wished it was smaller but another part was thrilled by how big it was.  He
liked feeling this big thing sliding into his mouth.  He pushed down
further on it.  Alex said, "Don't do more than you can Sam..."  He touched
his own penis stroking it as his excitement got the better of him.
"C-careful, don't bite."



	Sam slid down a bit more, all of the head and at least a full two
inches or so were in his mouth now.  He could feel it as he slid down on it
some more.  Alex's hand was on his head, not holding him there, just
resting there stroking his hair.  He pulled back on it, letting the entire
length pop out of his mouth as he grabbed it with his hands.  He started
licking at the head of it, his tongue running over the length, sliding over
the pee hole.  Alex let him, not guiding him, just softly every now and
then suggesting something.  Sam flipped his tongue over the length once
more before putting his lips to it again.  He sucked Alex into his mouth,
his courage getting stronger now.  He took in more, sliding his mouth down
on it.  Honestly it wasn't so bad now that he was getting a hang for it.



	Alex's hand on his head ran through his hair gently as he said,
"its going to happen really soon Sam, you might want to take your mouth
off."  Sam thought about that, he wanted to take his mouth off, he was
afraid of what might happen when Alex came in his mouth but another part of
him was excited by it.  HE didn't know if he could swallow the stuff but he
at least wanted to try and see.  He sucked some more his one hand still
stroking himself, his other one touching Alex's balls.  When it happened he
felt it first in Alex's balls, the way that they constricted, then the
shaft sort of did the same same thing.



	It happened then, Alex's stuff shooting out into Sam's mouth.  Sam
was shocked by the force of it as Alex grunted and sort of pushed up into
his mouth.  Sam didn't want to swallow it.  His mouth was filled with the
stuff, he gagged a bit pulling his mouth off of Alex's dick, his cheeks
full of the first few loads.  Alex said, "here, just spit it out..."  Sam
did spit it out on Alex's stomach where the rest of it had pooled.  Some
stayed in his mouth, he ran his tongue over his teeth and swallowed the bit
that was still in there.  Alex sat up, touching his cheek, "hey are you
okay?"



	Sam nodded and wiped his lips, "I... yeah I wanted to swallow it,
but there was so much..."



	Alex stroked his cheek, "its okay Sam, never feel you have to."  He
grabbed his shirt again and wiped his stomach off.  Then he grabbed Sam's
briefs and his own boxers saying, "come on lets see what we can find for
dinner."  Sam pulled his underwear on.  It felt weird sitting at Alex's
table in just his underwear eating cereal for dinner since the power was
still out.  He tried not to yawn after dinner, but it was close to his bed
time by now.



	Alex seeing him yawn made Sam say, "I'm not tired."



	Alex smiled and said, "that's a shame, I was thinking we could go
lay in bed together... but if you..."



	Sam said, "Okay maybe I'm a little tired."  Alex smiled and reached
over grabbing and lifting him up as he tickled him.  Sam squirmed as Alex
carried him to the bedroom and tossed him down onto the bed, tickling him
some more before finally stopping.  Outside the storm still raged and Sam
felt a little cold as well.  Alex pulled the covers of the bed over both of
them and Sam said, "do you think there will be school tomorrow?"



	Alex said, "I doubt it."



	Sam yawned a bit, he was tired, fight it as he might, snuggled in
bed under the sheets with Alex holding him, rubbing his stomach it just
felt so good.  "So we can spend all day tomorrow together?"



	"We'll see but I don't see why not."



	Sam snuggled in closer, resting his head on Alex's shoulder as Alex
now stroked his back, "I'd like that."  He wasn't sure how but it was about
then that he feel asleep.  He had never felt more safe or loved than right
then and there in Alex's arms.







Chapter Eleven.







	The sound of the power coming back on was what woke Alex up, it
took him a moment to realize what the sound was as it was his ceiling fan
going on first that made him realize something was different.  He moved a
bit in bed and his hand hit something soft and small.  His mind came back
to last night, and he looked over at where his hand had made contact.  Sam
was laying on his back, his brown hair a mess on his head, his eyes closed,
his mouth slightly parted open.  His chest and stomach completely bare as
there had been no pajamas for him to sleep in.  The blankets that Alex had
pulled up over them on Sam's side were at his feet as if he had kicked them
off.  Alex's eyes roamed over the younger boy's exposed body.  The briefs
were tight showing off the boys package, clearly he wasn't erect as he
slept.



	Sam rolled onto his side and curled up a bit as the coolness of the
fan blowing hit his soft preteen flesh.  Alex gently pulled the covers back
over him, bringing the younger boy into his arms.  The apartment's heater
kicked on a few seconds later, as Alex gently held Sam.  Despite how cold
he had gotten in his sleep the ten year old gave off quite a lot of heat.
He was like a little furnace in Alex's arms, heat escaping from his skinny
little body quickly.  Sam moved again, twisting onto his other side so that
his head was now buried in Alex's chest.  Alex stroked the back of his
head, running a hand down Sam's spine.



	He tried not to but touching Sam started its own reaction in him.
He had no desire though to do anything with Sam while he slept.  Outside
Alex could still hear the sound of rain hitting the windows and roof of the
building.  After a bit Sam who was clearly an active sleeper twisted away
from Alex, perhaps too warm now as he lay on his back again.  Alex let the
boy go, slipping from the bed and walking over to his window.  He pulled on
a tee-shirt from his dresser and pulled back the blinds on the window.



	The window was covered in ice, he walked from his bedroom going
down the hall to the front door and opened that as well.  Outside the
walkways, the stairs, most everything was covered in a thin sheet of ice.
It rarely snowed this far south but ice was a common occurrence during the
right kinds of weather.  There would be no school today, really no going
anywhere.  The rain had lessoned but the clouds in the sky were still thick
with the potential to bring more rain.



	Alex closed the door and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw
Sam standing right behind him a blanket wrapped around his shoulders making
the four foot and some inches ten year old look even smaller than he was.
His hair was every which way, going in all kinds of directions.  Sam
laughed a bit, "did I scare you?"



	Alex said, "a little yes, I didn't think you were awake."



	Sam shrugged, "I wasn't, but then I was."  Alex smiled and walked
over to where he was, pulling at the blanket dragging Sam onto the couch
with him.  He pulled the blanket up around both of them and Sam snuggled
into his side as if by instinct.  "Do you think my mom's okay?"



	"Yes, she stayed at one of her co-workers.  Do you want something
to eat?"



	Sam moved a bit snuggling in more, the warmth combined with his own
attraction for the boy were enough to start Alex rising again.  Sam felt it
as his one hand was close by resting on his leg close to the boxers and the
feel of it growing was obvious.  Sam moved his hand over touching it.  "did
I make it grow?"



	Alex hugged him closer, "yes."



	Sam said, "but why, we weren't kissing or anything."



	Alex wasn't sure how to approach that one, "Well Sam I really like
you and feeling you this close to me it makes me react sometimes, you need
more than just thoughts to make you get erect, but as a teenager all I need
is one rogue thought about how warm and nice you feel against me."



	Sam touched it through his boxers. "so you get these all the time
because of me?  Like when you tickle me and such?"



	Alex stroked Sam's side, "yes, does that make you uncomfortable?"



	Sam shook his head, "no, it makes me happy.  Does it mean though
that I should take care of it?"



	Alex laughed, "no it's fine like it is."



	Sam said, "but I could make it feel really good right? If I want
to?"  Alex nodded as Sam looked up at him thinking and then deciding
something for himself. Sam's hand that had been on the top touching it
moved trying to find the opening in his boxers, pulling at it dragging the
boxers open until it popped out.  Alex watched as Sam studied him, his hand
holding the poll, stroking it.  The preteen had been incredible last night,
even if he had stumbled through it, the fact that he had even been willing
had been enough for Alex.  Now though he saw determination and desire as
well in Sam.



	Alex let him explore letting Sam take the lead was the best way
here, if Sam wanted to try it Alex wouldn't tell him no.  He watched as
Sam's smaller hand stroked the shaft, he rested a hand on Sam's back.  With
the sheet pulled back like this Alex could see all of Sam's skinny little
frame.  Last night the boy had been elbows and knees but also a warm little
package that Alex never wanted to let go of.  His eyes lingered on Sam's
briefs, the little batman logos dancing around, the shape of his penis
obvious and as Sam began to stroke Alex he could see the little boy's dick
expanding in his underwear, growing.  Sam touched it with his other hand
trying to free it from its trappings.



	Seeing Sam touch himself through his briefs, rearrange them one of
his long skinny legs resting on the couch with the knee bent as he leaned
over to also touch Alex's dick excited him.  The first touch of Sam's lips
to the head of his dick sent Alex looking there instead.  The ten year old
had leaned down and put his lips to the head touching it gently, then
sucking a bit.  Alex leaned back watching, letting Sam set his own pace.



	Sam ran his tongue over the head, stopping for a second, then
slowly pushed his lips back down over the head.  The feeling of Sam's mouth
surrounding him was as good as it had been last night, that incredible
little mouth sliding over the head of his dick, slowly sliding down more on
it, his little tongue resting there, sliding around it as Sam pushed down
some more.  His hand still holding on the shaft close to the base.  Alex
rested his hand on Sam's head, stroking the boy's hair as he slipped his
mouth off of the pole looking up at Alex.



	He leaned down to kiss Sam, tasting himself on the boy's lips and
Alex got an idea, "you want to try something?"



	Sam said, "try what?"



	"Here..." He lifted Sam laying him back on the couch, the boy's
head resting on the arm rest as he took hold of Sam's briefs and pulled
them down.  Seeing Sam's little dick again drove all kinds of urges in
Alex, he put Sam's legs up at the knees and slid up between them. Sam's
eyes got big, "a-are you gong to put it in my..."



	Alex shook his head, "no, I don't think we're ready for that... do
you?"  Sam shook his head, a few weeks ago he would have probably laughed
at the idea.  Now Alex had a feeling that Sam was contemplating it as much
as he was.  "We're going to try something else though."  He pulled his own
boxers off as he said, "come here, climb on top of me..." Sam started to
move on top of him facing him and Alex sat up fully on the couch so that
Sam was facing him.  The small boy's little dick rested against his own
larger one, pressing them together.  He could feel the little boy's dick
pressing to his own.  Alex slid his hand down between them and took hold of
both of them in his fingers, sliding his hand over them both stroking them
at the same time.



	He leaned down to kiss Sam as his tongue played with the boy's he
felt Sam sliding against his fingers and his dick.  The friction was
probably not the best idea for a long time but Alex wasn't going to last
much longer.  Feeling the younger boy's mouth on his own, his little dick
pressed to his own was more than enough.  He lifted Sam when he was close
tossing the preteen down onto his back on the couch.  Sam was surprised as
Alex rested the head of his dick rubbing it over Sam's sac and the length
of his shaft a few times.  He came, his seed shooting out onto the preteens
sack and penis, covering them with his spend.



	Sam looking at the mess made on his penis and balls giggled and
said, "that was pretty cool."



	"Yeah but now you're all sticky."  Alex smiled, "I know how about a
shower?"



	Sam said, "you're dirty too."



	"I know that's why I suggested a shower... together."  Sam smiled
as well now.  Getting the idea finally.  Alex pulled Sam with him towards
the bathroom both of them still naked running across the apartment laughing
together.  In the bathroom he started the shower and said, "make sure the
water's not too hot for you."  He said as he pulled out some towels from
the bathroom closet and put them out for them to use to dry off.  As Sam
leaned into the shower to test the water Alex's eyes roamed over the
preteen boys body.  Sam was all lines and edges, his little body smooth and
sleek looking, his little ass two perfect little globes, thinking about how
soft and round those globes looked Alex felt his dick start to rise again.



	Sam turned looking at him and the ten year olds eyes went down to
Alex's growing pole, and he said, "the water's fine... you're big again."



	Alex smiled, studying Sam's little penis, it had softened but he
knew if he touched it just right that Sam would once again grow.  In fact
Sam seeing that Alex was hard actually did start to grow a little bit.
Like Sam was anticipating that Alex was going to make him feel good again.
Alex pulled Sam into the shower with him.  The younger boy stood looking up
at him, the water falling over his shoulders as Alex said, "would you let
me wash you Sam?"



	Sam nodded a bit shyly as Alex took a washcloth and put some soap
on it.  He had Sam face him as he started rubbing the cloth over Sam's
arms, sliding it up them. Sam giggled as Alex ran the cloth over his arm
pits.  Alex ran the cloth over Sam's chest, sliding it down over the
preteens stomach.  He turned Sam around, his eyes roaming over the preteens
backside, he slowly slipped the cloth down over Sam's back, sliding down
over the globes of his ass.  The preteen giggled as Alex ran the cloth
between the cheeks, sliding it up in there.  The slick soap sliding over
between Sam's cheeks.



	Alex slipped down on his knees sliding his hand with the cloth
between Sam's legs with the boy facing away from him, sliding it over Sam's
sack.  Alex dropped the cloth as he ran his hands over Sam's soaped up
dick, sliding his fingers over it.  Sam put his hands on the wall and Alex
said, "if you don't like this Sam tell me to stop okay?"  Sam nodded a bit,
the way he was leaning Alex could see that his eyes were closed as Alex
continued to stroke him.



	Alex moved his hands over Sam's bottom stroking it, rubbing the
cheeks, spreading them as he leaned down more and slide his tongue over
Sam's butt-hole.  The preteen giggled and said, "that tickles."  Alex did
it again, running his tongue against Sam's opening.  As he did that his
hand went back to Sam's dick, stroking it.  The ten year old was bent
against the wall, his hands on the wall his little butt right in Alex's
face now as his hand stroked Sam while his mouth slipped between those
wonderful preteen cheeks.  Sam gasped and giggled again as his tongue ran
over it.



	Alex's other hand was stroking his own dick as he stroked Sam's.
He pulled back with his mouth and said, "I'm going to try one more thing
Sam if you don't like it..."



	Sam said, "I know..."  A little breathlessly.



	Alex stood, sliding his dick against Sam's ass, he pushed it
in-between the preteens cheeks, not going into the hole, just sliding up to
it.  Sam's butt clinched and squeezed a bit over his pole and Alex said,
"you okay?"  His hands were on Sam's shoulders, holding the boy.  He moved
a bit sliding the head of his dick fully between the boys cheeks.  It felt
incredible, that little ass on either side of his dick.



	He pushed in a bit and Sam gasped a bit as Alex was afraid he had
hurt Sam but at the same time his load shot out, squirting up into Sam's
butt then up over the cheeks as well as he slipped back sliding it out.
That had felt so incredible, just a few seconds of sliding into that little
ass, not even the hole, just between the cheeks.  He slipped back as he
said, "I'm sorry.... Sam...."  He leaned against the wall of the shower and
said, "Sam..."



	Sam turned looking at him and then said, "is that... did it... go
in?"



	Alex shook his head, "no... that's not going in Sam... I shouldn't
have..."



	Sam hugged him making him go quiet.  The younger boy looked up at
Alex and Alex leaned down to kiss him. Sam said softly, "at first I was
scared, but when you... pushed up in there... it felt... nice and I thought
that if you went further I'd like that too but it hurt a little too."



	"I..."



	Sam interrupted him, "stop being sorry, I know you'd never hurt me
on purpose."  Alex stroked his cheek and held him a bit longer in the
shower.  Alex reached around and turned the water off as they got out of
the shower and dried off.  As they were drying off Sam said, "do you really
think it would fit in my butt?"



	Alex stopped drying off looking at Sam, "yes, it would, but it
would probably hurt the first time, I actually think I know how to do it,
I've read about it before, but we'd need more lubricant than say soapy
shower water...."



	Sam said, "you want to try it though?"



	Alex said, "yes, but only when you're ready.  This, what we're
doing now Sam, all of this is enough.  I'd be fine if you just wanted to
sit on my bed and play games."  He took Sam's hand in his, "believe me Sam
this isn't about the sex.  I'm not in this to have sex with you."



	Sam flushed a bit, "but you do want to have sex with me?"



	Alex pulled Sam closer to him, "yes Sam, very much."



	"I do too, and its not as scary as it was at first..."



	Alex studied him, touching his cheek, "what's not as scary?"



	"the idea of you putting it my butt.  Actually its... I'm kind of
interested after today... it felt... I don't know, it felt right."



	The phone rang then making them both jump and laugh.  Alex ran into
the living room and picked up the phone, "hello?"



	"Alex, thank god, I tried calling earlier but no one answered."



	It was Karen, Sam's mom.  "Sorry I think I was in the shower and
Sam was still sleeping, you can't hear the phone from the bedroom."



	"Its fine, I was wanted to check on the two of you.  The roads are
clearing up some but I'm going to stay another night here at Judy's, if
you're okay with Sam staying there one more night?  If not I can see if he
can go over to Alan's."



	Alex looked at Sam who was coming into the living room still naked,
his little dick soft and swinging almost deliciously.  Alex started to
harden again seeing it.  "He's fine over here Karen, really.  Here let me
let you talk to Sam."  He hand the phone to Sam who started talking with
his mom telling her that he was fine.  Something about school still being
closed tomorrow due to dangerous roads.  Then he told his mom he loved her
and he hung up.  As he put the phone on the receiver Alex said, "I guess
you're stuck here for another night."



	Sam said, "i guess so..."  he smiled a bit, "if you catch me I'll
let you kiss me again."  He took off out of the living room and Alex shook
his head giving chase, a naked teenager and preteen chasing each other
though the apartment.









Chapter Twelve.







	Sam giggled as Alex caught him in his bedroom, the older boy's
fingers sliding over his ribs tickling him as he tossed him onto the bed.
He squirmed trying to get away as Alex leaned over him still tickling him.
Of course this was all part of the game and Sam delighted in it.  He loved
the feeling of Alex's hands on his body.  Earlier in the shower when Alex's
dick had actually slipped between his legs, up between his butt cheeks Sam
had been a bit afraid, but then when it had slid in between them and pushed
up there, sliding between his cheeks and Alex had exploded the feeling if
it hitting his butt and back side had actually excited Sam.



	Now still naked as the day they were born the teenager and preteen
fell together onto Alex's bed as the older teenager continued to tickle the
preteen.  Sam squirmed and flayed around on the bed, trying to push at
Alex's fingers as they dug into his arm pits now, making Sam's giggle
escape in huge gales of laughter.  He thought he was going to die of
laughter and then as suddenly as he thought that Alex's lips were on his
own, his tongue sliding into Sam's mouth and his hands running down the
length of Sam's arms to his hands sliding over his fingers, sliding between
them before sliding back up his arms.



	Sam no longer felt ticklish as Alex's hands slid back up his arms,
as his lips moved down to Sam's neck.  Sam closed his eyes, feeling Alex's
fingers sliding over his stomach, this time the teenager was focused on him
instead of the other way around.  Sam could feel Alex, his hands now
sliding down his sides, his lips meeting one of Sam's nipples.  As Alex's
tongue circled around Sam's nipple the preteen could feel one of the
teenagers hands slip down between his legs, the fingers sliding along the
length of his penis, two fingers slowly stroking it.



	Sam found Alex's head, resting his hand in the boys blonde hair as
Alex's tongue continued to circle around his second nipple. Alex was moving
down now, his lips running kisses down further over Sam's stomach, his
tongue licking and sliding into Sam's belly button, the preteen giggled a
bit at that as Alex sat up.  In-between Alex's legs his dick had grown to
full size again as well.  Alex though wasn't standing up to show Sam that.
He said, "want to try something?"



	Sam said, "try what?"





	"Well we could try sucking each other at the same time."  Alex
moved sliding onto his back and said, "Here, climb on top of me," Sam
started to move to slide on top of Alex and Alex said, "no your face down
towards my waist, here like this."  He guided Sam and Sam got it right
away.  He climbed on top of Alex, resting his legs on either side of the
teenager's head, up by his shoulders and he leaned down his face was close.
Alex's hands on his waist pushed him down slightly and he felt the older
boy's mouth slide over the head of his penis pulling it down and into his
mouth.  Sam reached down for Alex's penis, it was close to his face now, he
giggled as he ran his tongue over the head, and felt Alex's hands slide
around his legs, sliding up over them stroking his back which was pointed a
bit upwards now as he leaned down fully to take the head of Alex's penis
into his mouth.



	His hands held Alex's shaft as he felt the older boy slip all of
Sam's much smaller penis into his mouth, sucking on it, his tongue sliding
around it.  Sam pushed a bit into Alex's mouth as he sucked on the head of
Alex's penis and used his hands to stroke the shaft.  At first he felt like
he was slipping a bit and he felt bad for Alex as his elbows were resting
on Alex's lower stomach but the older boy wasn't complaining.  Alex's mouth
was now sucking then pulling off of Sam's penis to push it back in and suck
harder as the preteen continued to stroke and lick on the head of Alex's
penis.



	He could feel it as the organ between Alex's legs began to surge,
Sam could tell when it was going to happen now, he was getting used to the
feeling of when Alex was close to squirting.  He opened his mouth and
pushed it down onto the head eagerly as he did he slipped from Alex's mouth
and he felt the older boy's tongue slide down over his sack.  He pushed
down on Alex's dick, taking in more than the head in his mouth as he felt
the older boy's fingers spreading his butt open and his tongue sliding over
Sam's hole there again, pushing against it.  Sam gasped around the head of
Alex's penis, expecting pleasure there was not something the ten year old
had anticipated.



	His gasps as Alex's tongue twirled around in there made him suck
harder on the teenager's dick, holding it in his mouth as it surged in his
hands.  He felt it as Alex' came, his seed shooting out, his hands holding
tightly onto Sam's waist as the first load filled Sam's mouth.  The first
time this had happened Sam had been scared now he took it as pure pride
that he was able to make it happen.  He tried to swallow the thick white
stuff that shot out, the first load was fine but there was too much and he
Alex slipped out of his mouth wetly the third or so shot shooting right
onto Sam's face, he felt it sliding down his nose as Alex's tongue pushed
against his bottom again.



	Alex put his hands on Sam's waist and chest, he pulled Sam up into
a sitting position on top of Alex's face.  The teenager was now stroking
Sam's penis with two fingers, sliding along the length of it as his tongue
continued to play between Sam's cheeks.  Sam couldn't explain what was
happening, his entire body felt like it was on fire, when Alex's tongue
pushed up there just right, sliding along him right there just right Sam's
entire body tensed and his little penis jerked spasmed in Alex's fingers.



	Alex must have taken hold of him and guided him down to the bed
because he was laying there now on his back with Alex's hand on his
stomach.  Alex was watching him when he became aware again.  He looked a
little concerned until Sam said, "that was amazing."



	Alex said, "I almost wanted to put a finger in there... then I
became afraid of hurting you."



	Sam thought about that then he said, "you should ask Paula how to
do it, she said she's had boys put their penises in her butt."





	Alex laughed, "so now I'm going to ask my pretend girlfriend how to
go about putting it in my real boyfriends butt?"



	Sam flushed and said, "w-well she's done it before."



	Alex stroked Sam's stomach, "yes, that is true.  Hey wait... that
means you asked Paula about that."



	Sam said, "well she said she'd done it before."



	Alex smiled looking at Sam.  He had such pretty eyes that Sam never
wanted to stop looking at ever.  "Yeah, well that is a good point."  They
both lay there quiet for a moment before Alex said, "are you really okay
with us trying that Sam?  It's going to be a lot different than what I did
with my tongue... or how I slid it up between the cheeks.  It would
actually be going in that opening..."



	Sam thought about it for a little bit when Alex stopped talking.
He knew the older boy was telling him to think about it.  "I'm never going
to want to kiss girls, or be with girls."



	"You don't...."



	Sam stopped him, "I do, I can tell.  I know I'm supposed to like
girls..."



	"Sam..."  Alex pulled him closer so that they were facing one
another, "you're not supposed to like one or the other, but my fear is that
you're only ten.  You might one day realize you do like girls."



	Sam shook his head, "I won't. I don't know why I know that."  HE
really didn't.  It was so hard for him to grasp at his age.  He couldn't
figure out why the first moment he had learned he could kiss someone else
other than his mom that he had wanted to kiss Carter not say Shelby or
Heather two girls in class that all the boy wanted to kiss.  No he had
wanted to kiss Carter so badly, not anyone else.  Then Alex had come and
now he didn't even care if Carter wanted a kiss or not, because he had
someone who wanted to kiss him.



	Alex touched his cheek, "yeah I won't either, you know when I was
thirteen I kissed a boy named Ivan."



	Sam said, "really?"



	"Yup, and he did what Carter did to you, pretty much told me off.
I had almost been fourteen, it was a couple days after the first year
anniversary of Sarah's death and I had been a little depressed and for some
reason that made me take my shot.  I'd thought about kissing him for more
than just that one day.  I'd thought about it for days and days.  It had
never occurred to me that I was different, I just thought Ivan was cute and
I wanted to kiss him.  So I did it and he called me a fag and well pretty
much beat me up."



	Sam swallowed, he wanted to hold Alex like how Alex held him.  "I'm
sorry..."



	"That's not... my point my point is that being different is hard
and if you choose not to be that's okay."  Alex stopped for a second then
continued, "and you don't have to be sorry for what others did Sam."  After
a second he continued again, "if I hadn't been caught up in loosing my
sister I might have realized even earlier that I liked boys and not girls."



	"You still miss her?"



	Alex swallowed and said, "most every day Sam, here."  he rolled
over and reached into his bedside table and pulled out something.  It was a
picture of Alex with a girl dressed as Dorthy from Wizard of Oz with little
pig tails and red shoes.  She was probably six years old in the picture.
Standing next to her was a younger Alex, probably twelve years old, but
still the same Alex.  Sam would have liked to have kissed that Alex too he
realized.  "that was taken the night of her last Halloween.  She'd been
super sick that whole day but she still wanted to go out, I only took her
to three houses before I brought her back home."



	"You were probably always a really good big brother."



	Alex chuckled and said, "no, I wasn't like your brother either, but
I was older and she liked to get into my things or be around me and my
friends so sometimes I'd get annoyed.  I loved her but it wasn't until she
got sick that I realized how much better my life was with her in it."  Sam
looked up at Alex from the picture, he leaned in and hugged Alex, letting
the older boy hold him.  Neither talked for a bit.



	Sam still holding the picture said, "what do you think Sarah would
have thought about me?"



	Alex smiled, "she'd have loved you because I love you."



	Sam studied the picture for a moment longer, "I think I would have
loved her too like my own sister."





*





	The rest of the day they eventually got up, ate some lunch and then
played some video games.  Alex and Sam joked around trying their best to
distract one another in one of the multi-player games so that one or the
other could win the match.  They ate dinner, looked around out side and
decided it was too cold to go out even though the rain had stopped.  Then
they found a movie and fell asleep on the couch watching it.  At some point
Alex woke up and carried Sam into the bedroom and the two of them slept in
Alex's bed again together.



	The following morning the sun came back out again and melted the
ice, by ten in the morning Sam's mom had managed to make it home and Alex
walked him back over to his apartment.  Sam's mom thanked him and insisted
on getting him lunch before he had to leave to go with his dad to pick up
his mom at the hospital.  Around that same time Billy wondered in and went
to his room sick, apparently he had gotten a cold over at Alan's as they
hadn't stayed inside the entire time.



	After lunch Alex left saying that he would see them soon he was
sure and it was just Sam and his mom.  He helped her clean up a bit and as
he was putting a dish in the machine that his mom handed him Sam thought
about something that Alex had said, "Mom, would you love me less if I was
different?"



	His mom stopped and looked over at him, "no Sam I'd never not love
you. What brought this on?"



	Sam shrugged, not wanting to really tell everything to his mom,
knowing she'd not understand. "Just something Alex and I talked about when
we talked about his sister.  I just got to thinking that what if I was
different or something happened that you might not... want me anymore."



	His mom came over and gently hugged him as she got down on his
level, "never Sam.  I will always want you."



	"Dad doesn't..."  He tired not to, he didn't want to, but he did
cry.  It was stupid, his dad didn't know he liked boys he hadn't left
because Sam liked boys or Billy was a jerk.  Inside Sam knew that but
sometimes it felt like maybe he had.



	"Shh Sam," His mom soothed him, holding him gently as she said, "I
swear to you that you could be as different as you want and I'd still love
you."



	Sam wasn't sure why but he knew it was important, "and Billy too?"



	His mom laughed and hugged him more, "yes Sam, Billy too.  You're
my boys."  It felt good to have conformation from his mom, but he knew he
couldn't tell her about him and Alex, not yet, maybe not ever or until he
was a lot older.









Chapter Thirteen









	A true week or two of cold weather set in for the rest of November,
but nothing as bad as those two wonderful magical days that Alex had gotten
to spend with Sam.  Alex mom came back home a few days after the storm and
they went back into a pattern that Alex had expected.  Her cast only had to
stay on for a few weeks and she wasn't in any significant pain so she went
back to drinking instead of taking medicine to dull the pain.  Alex for his
part went back to ignoring his moms drinking.  His dad helped her get a new
car, they were hardly talking to one another but his dad wanted to still
take care of his family even if it was broken apart.



	There had been a time when he had considered living with his dad
instead of his mom, but then he had struggled with who would take care of
her.  Someone had to be there for his mom, if his dad wasn't going to be
then Alex was.  That was the simple matter of it.  So for the first week
with his mom back at the house she was home in the afternoons when he and
Sam would have been `kissing' though lately that had been more involved
than just lips on lips.



	Instead they decided to do other things.  The first few days when
it wasn't quite so cold out they went to the park that was a few blocks
over from Kyle's house and kicked one of Sam's soccer balls around for a
bit.  It was quite a wonderful afternoon, chasing Sam around, grabbing him,
tickling him until he squirmed loosed to only have it be done again.  Then
they would lay there on the grass and hold hands while talking.  Sometimes
about Sarah, sometimes about Sam's own hurt over his dad leaving.  They'd
talk about school or music it was clear that Sam was starting to love music
as much as Alex.  There was always an underlining sexual tension there
between the two of them and both could feel it at times but they knew boys
didn't go around kissing other boys in public especially not a teenager and
a preteen.



	The days when it was too cold out they played games on Alex's
playstation. Those were nice days as well, with his mom only a room a way
they could still do some stuff as long as they didn't run the risk of her
interrupting them or walking in on them.  Some rubbing, some kissing, that
was nice but honestly for Alex just being close to Sam was enough.  He
wanted more, but he hadn't been lying to Sam when he had said kissing,
holding, and talking was enough.  Alex realized it was crazy that he was
this in love with a ten year old boy, and honestly he was afraid of what it
meant for the future.



	That was what he was thinking about the Friday afternoon before
Thanksgiving break.  School was going better than ever, the band was going
to do another live show at Moonstone on Saturday, and the only thing that
sucked about that was that Sam wouldn't be there this time.  Yet his mind
still lingered on this one fact that he couldn't as of late escape.  It had
started a few days ago when he and Sam had been sitting on the bed taking
turns on playing Mario on his old super Nintendo that Alex had managed to
find in a closet at his dad's apartment.



	After Sam had sneezed making Alex fall in a pit and he had tickled
Sam into admitting that he had sneeze on purpose somehow as they lay there
after soft kisses and little giggles still escaping from Sam he had asked
Alex simply, "When is your birthday Alex?"



	"Not till May, May fourteenth."



	Sam thought about that and said, "Mine is the Saturday after
thanksgiving this year, I mean its always the same day but this year its on
the Saturday after thanksgiving."



	It was a simple thing, the earth rotated around the sun and every
year everyone got one year older.  It wasn't like Alex didn't expect it.
He had not let Sam see that his mind was focused on something else with
birthdays instead he had said, "well we'll have to celebrate when you get
back from your aunts."  Sam always went with his mom and his brother to his
aunt's house in Florida for thanksgiving every year, they left the Saturday
after school and didn't come back till the following Friday.  It would be a
week apart from one another when they had at the most only spent two days
apart.



	The rest of the week when he wasn't around Sam he let it bother
him, not Sam leaving, no he could make it through that, it was the other
thing.  The Birthday.  On the last day before Thanksgiving break Alex left
school but didn't really want to go home yet.  He sighed as he sat on one
of the tables in the outside courtyard of the high school his feet resting
where his butt should be and his butt on the table itself.  That was how
Paula found him.  She climbed up sitting next to him, "something bothering
you?"



	If he wasn't with the band or with Sam he was usually spending time
with Paula they had gone on two more fake dates in the past few weeks just
to keep everyone off of the fact that they weren't really together, but she
was also besides Sam the only person he really talked with about things
other than the band or school.  She had become his closest friend.  "Just
worried about something that hadn't honestly occurred to me until the other
day."



	Paula said, "that you're not gay after all?"



	Alex shook his head, "no, its..."  He sighed and said, "Sam's going
to get older."



	Paula laughed, "Yeah generally as opposed to the other option
that's the better idea."



	Alex sighed again, "what if... I mean I don't want to be shallow or
vain, or superficial but what if I only...."  he stopped and stood up
jumping down form the table, "never mind."



	Paula grabbed his arm, "Hey there buddy, come on..." She gestured
and he sat down this time on the seat and she moved down next to him,
"you're worried that you're not in love with Sam, but with his... body?"



	Alex sighed heavily, "see how shallow that sounds?  I only want Sam
because he's this warm little ball of prepubescent energy and he's going to
become this... well..."  He gestured to himself and laughed, "hypercritical
isn't it?"



	Paula put her hand on his, "well first off if that's true you
should probably end things before you go further than you have, especially
before you use what I promised you."  She gestured to her purse, this was
why she had been meeting him after school.  "Secondly, do you only love him
because he's... well a prepubescent little boy?  Is that all that turns you
on?"



	Alex thought for a moment, "at first it was how small and cute he
was, how I knew he had one of those smiles that lit up a room but he never
used it and his body was this warm little firecracker of energy... I don't
even think I should be telling you that because you'll just think..."



	Paula interrupted him, "first off I won't think anything Alex,
people have all kinds of kinks doesn't mean they act on them if they know
they're not acceptable."



	"But I did with Sam."



	Paula said, "did you?  What was your first encounter like?  Who
drove you guys into doing more than just that one first kiss?  Well?"  He
could tell that Paula was either about to get really mad at him or about to
talk him down from his own hysteria but he wasn't sure at the moment which
one it was going to be.  He knew a lot more about her now, at twelve Paula
had lost her virginity to an older boy, a freshmen in high-school because
all of the girls in her class said it was the thing to do to be popular.
He had been less than kind to her.



	Alex laughed a bit at the memories, "he practically begged me to
kiss him, went on about how he kissed a boy named Carter who didn't like it
and reminded me of my own first time trying to figure out my feelings."  He
sighed and stopped for a moment, "he's always been the one in control from
the first moment that I knew I couldn't stay away from him I promised
myself that I would never do anything that made him uncomfortable and I
have kept to that promise."



	Paula moved in closer to him and said, "I should have had someone
like that as my first.  Not that asshole Larry Tucker."  She said, "Okay,
now your initial attraction, have other boy's Sam's age or around it you
know triggered you?"



	Alex shrugged, "sure, but I've never thought about them the same
way that I do about Sam.  Perhaps fantasize some about them in situations
with me, but I know the difference.  I knew the difference with Sam as well
until that first night.  I really only wanted to keep him safe, and well to
see him smile once.  I felt this urge to protect him that night as I would
have if I had seen any boy his age alone out there with no one to help
them."



	Paula said, "so when he said he wanted you to kiss him that first
night, why did you do it?"



	"Because my first kiss had been the single worst thing ever and his
had as well.  I felt like we were kindred spirits in that regard.  I never
planned on doing it no matter how much I wanted to.  I would have been
content that entire night to just sit there and play games with him.  Hell
I'd have been fine just talking with him and playing games if all that he
ever wanted was a friend and he was interested in girls."



	Paula said, "Okay we're getting there, you've got desire and
feeling mixed up, I think we're almost home.  The first time, not that
first night but the first time you and Sam were really alone together for
more than a couple of hours, the night of the concert, what was that like?"



	"Well we went back to the apartment and after quite a long struggle
of getting Sam into his pajamas and bed..."



	She interrupted him, "oh this is where it gets juicy..."



	Alex said, "no all we did was lay there and I think I stroked his
stomach until he fell asleep. He was exhausted and I wasn't going to... I
mean its Sam... he needed sleep not sex."



	Paula sighed, "you know despite being a lesbian my biggest kink in
the world is boy on boy sex... and you go and ruin with I just rubbed his
tummy..."



	Alex chuckled, "I thought we were getting to the bottom of my
problem."



	"Oh I already got to the bottom of that one, I just wanted to see
if you'd give me a description of what the two of you do in bed. I imagine
one's quite bigger than the other one..."  She looked down at Alex's crotch
and he sighed.  Then she sighed and said, "Okay ruin a girl's fun.  You're
in love with Sam, not with Sam of ten years.  What you're worried about is
the physical part of your love.  I can't help you with that.  I can't tell
you if you'll be physically attracted to Sam when he's twelve or fourteen,
or sixty.  I can't tell you if he'll feel the same way about you when he
gets older either."



	Alex leaned back resting his back on the table, "that's what being
in a relationship is though, without the physical part we'd just be friends
and what if I loose it for him and he never does for me and I break him..."



	Paula said, "I can't tell the future Alex, if I could I'd know
which one of these girls in our school comes out gay in the next ten years
and I'd go ask her out right now to prevent her from having some awkward
after college already married moment."  She touched his leg, "What I can
tell you is that you and Sam are going to have to figure that one out.  Not
right now, not tomorrow, not next week or next year.  But when you cross
that moment.  I do know that first love isn't usually forever love. The two
of you don't even have full say in what happens, a year from now Sam might
be in another city or state or you might."



	Alex sighed, "you know you've been absolutely no help."



	Paula smiled, "I try, one more thing to think about.  Maybe this
will help you in the matter of if you're only in it with Sam for his body.
When you think about Sam, like really think about him what's the first
thing that pops into your head? That's your answer."  She put a bag in his
hand, "if its the right answer this is something I promised the two of you,
if its the wrong answer let him down as easily as you can."  She kissed his
temple briefly and then stood up walking away.



	Alex looked down at the bag, he knew what was in it he had talked
with Paula about what she and Sam had talked about.  Sam, what was the
first thing that popped into his head when he thought about Sam.  It wasn't
his body, no matter how wonderful it felt to touch Sam.  It wasn't his
smile though on the coldest days that smile could melt snow.  It wasn't
even his laughter, or his eyes, or the way that he felt in Alex's arms.



	No the first thing that popped into his head when he thought about
Sam was how every day since that first night was that Sam made him happy.
Not in some physical sense of he was happy because he got to do these
things with Sam.  No some of the best days of the week last week had been
just him and Sam hanging out and talking about themselves or playing stupid
games with one another.  He knew that was the right answer, that he wasn't
with Sam because Sam fit into some preconceived notion of what he thought
he was attracted to.  He'd only ever considered boys younger than him, he
couldn't tell if he'd like older or not.  Sam wasn't an age or a body to be
admired.  Alex wasn't shallow and in this only to be with Sam because he
was a little boy.  At first that was his initial attraction, his entry
point.  He had just wanted once to see Sam smile, to hear the boy laugh.



	Now though, he was Sam, not just some kid that Alex had watched get
off of a bus.  He knew the insides of Sam.  Not his physical insides, no he
he knew Sam the person, the kid.  He knew what Sam didn't like, what he
did, how if you kissed that one part of his neck just right.... Or the way
that his entire face lit up the moment he saw Alex.  Or as Alex had
discovered his favorite candy was peanut m&m's and he'd sell his own mom to
get a pack of them Alex figured.  There were other things too that spending
time with him Alex had come to think of as things unique to Sam.  He knew
other boys could feel pleasure in the same ways as he and Sam did when they
did stuff together, but he doubted that any would make the same sounds Sam
did when he came.



	No he didn't love Sam because of his body, that would be a shallow
superficial love.  That was the love of first contact, of first attraction.
What he felt for Sam was far too complex to disappear just because Sam got
taller, a deeper voice, pubic hair.  Hell the idea that one day Sam might
be big enough to put it in him... Alex shook his head and put the bag that
Paula had given him into his backpack. That was something for later, all of
that was for later.  Alex had his answer, he wasn't with Sam because Sam
was ten years old.



	Only from the moments before that first kiss he had wanted to be
with Sam because of his age, everything after that first kiss had made that
irrelevant.  They were two kids one older than the other but both still
kids stumbling through their first moments of falling in love.  He didn't
know if they'd be together forever or not, but he knew that he could do
everything in his power to make sure that every moment they got was one
that both of them could cherish forever.  His love for Sam he decided
wasn't physical but he could express it physically and Sam could as well.







*





	The worst thing in the world as far as Sam was concerned was going
to his aunts for a week every thanksgiving.  It had been a family tradition
from before his parents had gotten divorced and even back then it had been
his least favorite time of the year.  His cousins were all older than Sam,
and they were all so boring.  His Aunt Deborah and Uncle Alvin lived in
Florida and you would think since they were only a few hours away from
Disney World that they'd at least have been there a few times but nope the
entire family had never visited not once.



	Their house was like a museum there was nothing to play with
really, television was seen as a distraction and the kids were forced
outside.  As the youngest Sam was pretty much left behind right away.
Billy got on really well with Jake and Walter to the point that the three
of them pretty much disappeared into the woods on four wheelers around the
property and weren't seen for most of the day.  The third kid was Alice she
was also the oldest at sixteen.



	It was actually a pretty warm week in Florida, there was no sign of
rain and the temperature never dipped below the sixties so you could go
outside without a jacket if you wanted to.  Sam missed Alex something
fierce it was so strange, in the years before he had been bored here sure,
but somehow those days hadn't dragged.  Now honestly he just wanted to talk
to Alex.  He missed the kissing and the other stuff, but he missed just
talking with Alex more.



	The third day that Monday after Billy, Jake, and Walter had all
disappeared into the ether that was the woods surrounding the property Sam
found a spot close to the edge of the woods where there was a small pond.
There he sat with his borrowed CD player and was tossing a few small
pebbles into the pond.  Sam had noticed that there were some fish swimming
in the pond, perhaps koi fish or gold fish he wasn't really sure, they were
pretty big.  Though they weren't the kind of fish that you ate.  He tossed
a second stone into the pond and the feeling of someone sitting down next
to him surprised him.



	Sam turned to see Alice, she was he knew pleasant to look at.  Like
his mom and aunt she had dark brown hair that was full and went down to
about the middle of her back.  Her eyes were a deep brown and she had a
small button for a nose, she was slender, but unlike Paula she was pretty
well endowed in the right areas.  Alice wore jeans that were a bit torn
around the knees and some light blue shirt that had a white horse with a
black background on it. She pulled back one of the sides of the headphones,
"Whatcha listening to there Sammy?"



	She was also the only person in the world that called him Sammy.
She spoke with a thick southern accent too.  "Pink Floyd."  Alex had given
him two cd's before he left, saying that if he wanted he could try them and
see what he thought.  Both were totally different than the ones before
them.  One was Pink Floyd and the other was a band named Queen.  Both he
decided after listening to a few times were incredible. More so than even
the others he had listened to before.  He could see why Alex liked them.
The Queen band he had heard songs from before when his mom put on music
sometimes.





	Alice leaned in a bit, listening, "Dark side of the moon?  Who gave
my cousin taste? Last time I saw you Sammy you would have thought a Pink
Floyd was some kind of animal."



	Sam flushed and pulled the headphones off his head fully.  "My
friend Alex, he's in a band."



	Alice studied him, "someone's got a crush I would wager." Sam
didn't respond, he just shrugged a bit and Alice said, "come on."  She
stood and pulled at his hand.  Sam almost didn't go but Alice pulled and he
was compelled.  He walked with her back up to the house. She led him
through the house up the stairs and into her bedroom a place that Sam had
never been in before.



	Alice had a pretty nice bedroom, she had a big walk in closet, a
dresser with three mirrors on it, along with a huge canopy bed in the
center of the room.  Her curtains were drawn on her window so that light
filtered into the room.  There were band posters on her walls, from all
kinds of bands some that Sam had heard of but others that he'd not heard
of.  Close to her dresser was an acoustic guitar on a stand.  Sam wasn't
sure why she had dragged him all the way up to her room to talk.  "No one
will bother us here."



	She closed the door to her room and Sam turned looking at it
surprised before she sat down on her bed and Sam said, "what are we doing?"



	Alice said, "well, I'm trying to figure out what's going on with my
cousin Sammy."



	Sam shrugged, "you've never cared before."



	Alice smiled, "well before you were dull, now you come here
listening to rock music, not trying to chase my brothers and yours around
when they clearly don't want you to, and you're flushing when you mention
the person who taught you about music."  Sam shrugged again and Alice said,
"come on."  She patted her bed and said, "tell me about Alex."



	Sam hesitated, "I'm not supposed to.... I mean...  if..."



	Alice studied him then said, "I won't tell your mom or mine or even
my brothers or yours. He's not making you do stuff is he?"



	Sam shook his head and said, "no."  He shuffled a bit standing and
Alice took his hand pulling him finally onto the bed next to her.  He sat
down and said, "I just know I'm not supposed to talk about it because he's
older than me."



	"What twelve, or thirteen?"  Sam shook his head, "he's in high
school?"  Sam slowly nodded and Alice said, "huh, so my little cousin likes
boys."  Sam went red and Alice continued, "so Alex is in a band?"



	Sam nodded and said, "yeah they mainly do cover songs but he said
most garage bands do.  He's got some original songs I've seen them."



	Alice sighed and fell back onto her bed looking up at her ceiling,
"he's the lead singer too I take it?"





	Sam said, "yeah," then Alice pulled him back onto the bed with her
so hew as laying on his back as well looking up at the ceiling.  "Umm Alice
why are we..."



	She interrupted him, "do you and Alex kiss?"



	Sam swallowed, "yeah, umm..."



	"What's he look like?"



	Sam said, "Uh well he's got blonde hair, goes to about his neck, um
really pretty hazel eyes, sometimes they're really green other times brown
and he's really tall, I mean he's only fifteen but he's already six feet.
He's fit I guess... why am I describing..."



	Alice said, "Shhh, when you guys kiss does he hold you?"



	"I... yeah... Umm Alice...."



	"and have you played with his dick?"



	Sam sat up then and said, "umm I should..."



	Alice sighed and pulled him back down onto the bed again, "I'm
sorry Sam I was making you uncomfortable.  I just started thinking about
what it would be like to watch two boys kissing..."  She sat up slowly now
and pulled him up too, "sorry."  She touched his leg and squeezed a bit.
"Forgot that kind of stuff is private between you and him."



	Sam flushed a bit and looked away from Alice when he noticed that
her cheeks were a little flushed, that was why she had wanted him to lay
down beside her so he wouldn't see.  "y-you want to watch us kiss?"



	Alice shook her head, "no, I mean you're my cousin Sam, that'd be
weird, but I could imagine him kissing another boy that wasn't you..."  She
shrugged and said, "although I do have to admit for a boy your age you are
cute."  She thought for a moment more then said, "you just promise me that
you'll tell someone if he ever makes you do stuff you don't want to do.  My
first... that's not important... just promise me."



	Sam said, "okay, Paula told me the same thing."



	"Wait a minute, whose Paula?"



	He shrugged, "A friend as well, she goes to school with Alex."



	Alice studied him and said, "wait are you interested in this Paula
as well?"



	Sam shook his head and then went really red as he said, "no.. I
only... umm Alice I only like kissing boys not girls."



	His cousin laughed then and said, "we'll see when puberty hits if
you still think that."  Sam didn't argue with her, he already knew it.
Even if one day Alex and he broke up though he couldn't imagine that ever,
he knew when he was ready to try kissing or dating or any of that again it
wouldn't be with a girl.



	After that the rest of the week up till Friday when they left to go
back home as his mom had to work on Saturday went a lot faster.  He hung
out with Alice a lot talking about music and she did ask him a bit about
Alex, but mainly she was just trying to find out if he treated Sam right.
She didn't ask about what him and Alex did when they were alone again.
Mainly they listened to music and she even let him try out her guitar
showing him a few things on it.  Sam had never considered that he might
want to learn music himself.  One time when she was teaching him a few
cords his mom actually found them in the room before dinner and stayed a
bit watching with a small smile on her face that Sam only noticed after he
saw that she was watching.



	The drive home on Friday was long and agonizing.  Every stop just
made it take longer and then finally they were home late Friday afternoon.
Billy took off to Alan's almost immediately saying that he needed to show
him something.  Sam could see his mom about to argue but she was exhausted
and decided not to.  As he sat down on the couch his mom sat beside him and
said, "so the big day is tomorrow you're going to be eleven."



	Sam shrugged, "I guess so."



	His mom put her arm around his shoulders, "I've got to work in the
morning but when I get home we'll have cake and pizza if you want."



	Sam said, "could Alex come?"



	"If he wants to.  Don't be sad or mad if he doesn't Sam, remember
he's older and he's got his own stuff this week."



	Sam said, "It's okay either way mom, I just thought that I'd ask
him."  He knew Alex would come though.  His mind thought about Alex for a
moment, but it didn't go to one of their kissing moments, it actually went
to that one day in the park shortly after Alex's mom had gotten out of the
hospital.  Just laying there listening to Alex talk about Sarah.  Having
Alex listen to him talk about how he was afraid of not ever being able to
get good at school.  How Alex had just held his hand and told him he'd make
it.  So he knew Alex would come because he knew how much Alex loved him.



	His mom kissed the side of his head, "well that's nice of you
Sam. I think he still misses his sister.  With you he gets to experience
all the stuff he didn't get to with her."



	Sam shrugged, he doubted that.  He did remember one time though
that Alex had said something, "he told me once that if Sarah was still
alive she'd have been my best friend."



	His mom smiled and hugged him sideways before standing up, "I'm
going to start on dinner, here."  She handed him the key to the mailbox,
"It's been a week, would you check the mail for me Sam?"  He nodded and
headed out of the house.  At the top before going down the steps he stopped
and checked his shoes, both tied, he grinned more than once Alex had made
him stop to tie his shoes.



	Sam headed down the stairs, it was warm here as well, not as warm
as Florida but still not as cold as it had been a few weeks ago, so he
didn't grab a jacket.  He ran through the complex, heading over to the mail
boxes that were between buildings one and two.  He opened their mailbox and
pulled out about ten different' pieces of mail.  His mom's rules were
simple, if it said resident it got tossed in the trashcan by the boxes.  So
only three pieces of mail remained after that.  Sam started walking back
through the complex, one of the three was addressed to him.  That was rare.
He stopped holding the other two under his armpit as he tore open the
letter.



	It was a birthday card, and inside was twenty dollars with a simple
note from his grandmother on his dad's side saying that she loved him and
would see him soon.  He put the money back in the card and put it back in
the envelop so that he wouldn't loose it. He'd give it to his mom when he
got back to the apartment and she'd put it somewhere safe for him to use on
something later.  Sam had to walk past building four to get to building
three in this direction and he realized that he had walked back that way on
purpose.



	He walked past the building not really expecting to see anyone,
tomorrow he'd go over to Alex's and see if he was home or not and hope that
he was.  Alex wasn't outside waiting for him as he walked past the
building.  He continued on not really surprised that he hadn't seen Alex,
he wanted to ask him something so of course he wasn't around. He thought
about going up to Alex's door and knocking but then his brother came around
the corner and said, "there you are `tard, mom thought you got lost, dinner
is read."  The moment was lost.



	Sam continued on walking back to his apartment behind his little
brother.  That night he lay in his bed and listened to one of the CD's that
Alex had lent him for a bit until sleep captured him.  Sam was confident
that tomorrow he would see Alex again, that everything would be right in
the world once he did.









Chapter Fourteen







	It took him a moment to realize that he was awake and not in his
bed.  Alex sat up suddenly on the couch in Kyle's garage.  The sound of him
sitting up so suddenly made someone else groan and he looked over at Paula
who was laying on the other end of the couch.  She groaned again as he
moved sliding off of the couch.  Paula sat up slowly as Alex grabbed his
jacket from the garage floor where he had dumped it.  On one of the chairs
in the garage Mark was sleeping, one of his drum sticks in his hand.  Paula
rubbed her eye and said, "shit Alex what... where..."  She looked at her
watch and said, "fuck."



	Alex said, "yeah, no kidding."  He sat down on the couch again to
slip his shoes on and said, "we said five minutes, I guess we were all a
little more worn out than we thought."



	Paula sitting by him was pulling on her own sneakers, "my mom is
going to kill me, my first Friday with a car and I don't come home."  Paula
had turned sixteen the day after school had left out for thanksgiving, and
her mom had let her use the car a few times since then.  Mainly to come
over and hang out with the band when they practiced.  She had also kept
Alex company over at his apartment one day playing games.



	He looked at Mark still sleeping and didn't see Kyle, he knew that
Ryan had gone home at some point when they didn't agree with him on the
hook for the song.  When he saw Mark was still sleeping he said, "Sam comes
home today."



	Paula whispered, "need your pole polished that badly?"



	Alex sighed and said, "its not like that...."



	Paula touched his arm, "I know Alex.  I'm glad you found your
answer, but I hope you don't intend to just..."  Here she pushed two hands
together and made a noise.



	Alex laughed, "No, its his birthday today."  he stood and said,
"and I've missed him as well."



	Paula nodded and stood up with him.  "come on, we'll go see him
then."  Paula's car was parked in front of his apartment, as she had come
over there first and they had talked for a bit before walking over to
Kyle's.  Mainly they had talked about a girl that Paula had started dating
in secret named Natalie that she had met at the show on Saturday.  Now he
was going to help her find ways to get time alone with Natalie.  As they
started walking Paula said, "is that song about Sam the one that you guys
were working on?"



	Alex shook his head, "no, its about Sarah."



	"Your sister?  I just thought the words eyes that showed me the
world were more about falling in love with someone."



	Alex shrugged, "Sam makes my world a better place, but he can't
replace Sarah no matter how close we get or how connected we are, he can't
replace what she was to me."



	Paula touched his arm briefly, "you're writing a song about him too
though aren't you?"  Alex didn't answer and she pushed him a bit, "come on
admit it.  All you big rock stars are saps deep down singing about love."



	Alex sighed, "yes, okay, I just... putting what I feel about him
into words well... maybe one day I'll figure it out."  Paula only laughed
as they continued walking.  As they turned into the complex you could see
building four and Alex stopped for a second, Paula next to him had kept
walking and when she saw him stop she stopped as well.  Then before she
could ask what was wrong this smaller blur of dark brown hair and a coat a
little too big for him had barreled into Alex.  Almost making him fall over
with the new weight.



	Alex had bent down for the hug as well as he was almost two feet
taller than Sam.  He held the younger boy in his arms, feeling Sam for the
first time in a week was like feeling home.  He kissed Sam's lips just
once, looking into the boy's bright beautiful blue eyes.  "hi."



	Sam said, "hey."  He just stood there still looking at Alex. Alex
touched his cheek, feeling that Sam was really there.  How had this boy
become the most important thing in his life within a month of time?  He
stood slowly and then Sam noticed Paula.  He moved over to her surprising
her with a hug too and said something which made her laugh and hug him just
as hard.  He looked back at Alex and moved a step. Alex took Sam's hand in
his own and the three of them walked towards Paula's car.  As they got to
the car Sam said, "are you leaving?"



	Paula said, "three's a crowd Sam."



	Alex noticed that Sam bit his bottom lip a bit and he said, "yeah
but its my birthday and you're my friend and we're going to have cake and
pizza later."



	Alex shrugged, "I bet a million that you can't beat both of us at
Mario Kart."



	Paula smiled and looked them both over then said, "Sorry boys if I
don't get back to my house my mom is liable to kill me... but when does
this whole cake and pizza thing go down?"



	Sam said, "This afternoon when my mom gets home, you want to come
for that?  Around five or so?"  Alex wondered what was getting into Sam.
He usually wouldn't care if someone showed up or not.



	Paula said, "We'll see Sam."  She touched the top of his head once
and then kissed Alex's cheek once as she said, "I just hope my mom doesn't
ground me and Natalie doesn't think I was out with someone else last
night."  She slipped into the car and drove off a moment later.



	Alex gently squeezed Sam's hand and the two of them stood there
looking at one another.  "Now that the real competition is gone I know I
can beat you at Mario Kart."  Since finding it they actually played more
games on his old super Nintendo than his playstation when they played
games.  Sam stuck his tongue out at Alex as he said it and then took off
running up the stairs to Alex's apartment.  Alex ran after him, staying
just far enough behind that he didn't catch Sam as the younger boy stopped
before the door to the apartment.  He stood there stopping before the door
looking at Alex.  Alex looked back.



	There was a small grin on Sam's cheeks, a small flush, a small
giggle escaped when Alex reached for him.  He faked though, instead of
reaching for Sam he put his key in the lock close to Sam's head and the
preteens giggles escaped anyway as Alex unlocked the door.  Alex twisted
the knob on the door and it opened, Sam leaning against the closed door
began to fall back into the living room of the apartment.  Alex grabbed his
arm and Sam twisted sliding out of his jacket, a brief bit of his tummy
exposed as the jacket and shirt he wore stuck together before he slipped
fully out of it and fell to the floor.



	His giggles escaped again as Alex tossed the jacket and went for
Sam.  The birthday boy squirmed on the carpeted floor, trying to get
further away as Alex kicked the front door closed and said, "Do you really
think you can escape me?"



	Sam shook his head and bit his lip a small giggle, "no but... I
don't really want to... much."  Alex tried to reach for him but Sam slipped
out crawling on the floor on his hands and knees.  Alex admired the boys
little butt in his jeans for a moment before he reached out and grabbed one
of Sam's shoes.  The boy fell back onto his back again and tried to pull
his foot as Alex put his other hand on Sam's leg and pulled him closer.
Sam's laughter was filling the entire apartment as he managed to pull his
foot free when his shoe came off.





	Alex tossed the shoe behind him, "now... that's interesting..."  He
grabbed Sam's sock covered foot as the boy had twisted again and was
crawling away once more.  "Very interesting."



	Sam tried to get his foot out of Alex's hand again this time not
rolling onto his back as Sam said, "Don't... not...my foot!"  It was
already too late.  Alex had already pulled the sock off and was running his
fingers over the very sensitive sole of Sam's foot.  The preteen howled
with laughter, his giggles filling Alex's ears as he squirmed and tried to
get away.  Alex stood dragging Sam by his foot towards the bedroom.
"no.... Alex... I'll be good!"  His protests fell on deaf ears.  Alex
pulled him into the bedroom by the foot.  Sam smiling and trying to pull
his foot free wasn't really trying to get free.



	Alex said, "lets see, the foot is effective, but I know far more
better torture."  Sam shook his head, giggled, shook it again.  Alex leaned
down and as Sam tried to get away he grabbed him and pulled the boy's shirt
up running his fingers over Sam's stomach, up to his ribs.  The new eleven
year old howled with giggles and laughter as he squirmed uncontrollably.
Alex lifted him, "I think you're heavier... who knew eleven would equal
eleven more pounds."



	He tossed Sam onto the bed as he bounced a few times before Alex
jumped up and on his knees looked down at Sam who was breathing heavily
with little giggles still.  "I had... lots.. of... turkey..."



	"yeah I can tell fatty."



	Sam's eyes got wide and he said, "Hey!"  Alex smiled and Sam said,
"I am not....wait.... don't...!"  Alex leaned down and instead of tickling
Sam he surprised the boy by kissing him.  It took Sam a moment to realize
that Alex wasn't tickling him.  Then the preteen returned the kiss just as
strong.  His breath was sweet in Alex's mouth, his little tongue hidden
until Alex managed to slid around it and pull with it.  He touched Sam's
cheek, slowly stroking his cheek as he felt Sam's hand on the back of his
head.



	Alex broke their kisses, his face inches from Sam's, his lips only
barely parted from the younger boys.  "I missed you Sam.  Every day."



	Sam said, "me too Alex."  He gently kissed Sam's lips again, a
light simple peck, gentle, but fire behind it.  He kissed Sam's neck,
softly running his lips over it, the only sound in the room now as their
breathing, and the fan on his ceiling on its slow setting twirling.  His
lips touched lower on Sam's neck, softly, under them he could feel Sam's
pulse, quick but not as fast as Alex had felt before.  He nuzzled there,
softly running his lips across Sam's neck a few times, softly sucking as
his hand slowly slipped under Sam's shirt.  This time his touches weren't
to entice giggles, they were soft and deliberate as his lips moved back up
to Sam's.



	He broke their kiss, as his hands took hold of Sam's shirt and he
slowly pulled it up, sliding it off of Sam so he could see all of the
younger boy's chest and stomach.  His eyes roamed, his hands lightly
touched, running over Sam's stomach, he could see just the top of the
elastic band of the boy's underwear as his jeans were loose enough.  Alex
leaned down, his lips meeting Sam's again.  A thousand times and he'd never
get tired of kissing Sam.  His tongue twirled, dancing with Sam's in the
younger boy's mouth, tasting that which was Sam.



	His fingers slipped down, sliding over Sam's chest, down over his
stomach, rubbing the boy's softer flesh. Again his lips were on Sam's neck,
his tongue dancing, sliding over it. Now the boy's collarbone, lips dancing
along the length of it, one one side then the other.  His felt one of Sam's
hands on his head, as his lips touched one of the boy's nipples.  He ran
his tongue along the nipple as his fingers found the button on Sam's jeans.
Alex undid the boy's jeans, pulling at the zipper as his tongue ran over
the second nipple, twirling around on it as it hardened under his tongue.



	His fingers sipped into the boy's jeans, sliding over his
underwear, he could feel the shape of Sam's erection, thin and present,
pressing against those briefs as Alex slowly began moving down lower.  He
looked up at Sam from the top of the boy's stomach, his eyes meeting Sam's.
The birthday boys face was flushed, his eyes halfway open, his one hand
under his head, his other one still on top of Alex's head.  His lips
touched Sam's stomach, kissing softly, slowly sliding down more.



	He took hold of Sam's jeans and slowly pulled them down sliding
them off of both of Sam's feet.  The preteen was dressed on in one white
sock that stopped at his ankle, and a pair of briefs that were red with
black outlines and around the elastic band the words Haines written on
them.  Alex ran his fingers lightly over the shape of Sam's bulge again,
his fingers tracing it, as he leaned down and kissed Sam's lips again.





*





	As Alex's fingers took hold of his underwear and started to pull it
down Sam swallowed and closed his eyes again.  He could feel Alex's lips
touching him again, sliding down the length of his body.  Those little
fires had all exploded into full raging now and he couldn't imagine anyone
else being this good at making him feel this good.  Alex's mouth was lower
now, sliding over Sam's lower stomach, kisses sliding down further and
further.  He felt Alex' fingers now as well, sliding over the length of his
penis, slowly a couple of fingers stroked it, sliding along the length,
pulling at the skin dragging it down tightly exposing the head.



	Sam squirmed a bit, the pleasure in his body was building to that
boiling release point.  Alex's lips were lower, almost at the prize.
Kisses on his stomach, slowly sliding down.  The older boy's other hand was
resting on one of his open legs, sliding over his thighs, sliding up,
further, sliding over his sack as the other fingers worked the skin on his
shaft stroking it.  Sam's one hand held onto Alex's hair as the older boy's
tongue slipped over the exposed bit of the head of his penis.  He bit his
bottom lip, almost, almost.  Not just yet.



	Alex's tongue twirled around the head, just lightly running along
the length of it, digging into the sensitive area that wasn't fully
exposed, "I'm going to try something Sam... if its not... just tell me..."
Sam swallowed and nodded trying to say that he would but he was about to be
so lost that he wasn't sure he could even talk.  Alex's fingers slowly
slipped around his penis again but this time something wet and cool were on
them.  He started to ask what when Alex gently pulled on the skin again,
this time it slid easier.  Sam gasped and squirmed as the entire head of
his penis popped out for a brief few seconds.  Alex pushed his mouth down
on it then, sliding over the length of it, taking all of Sam's length into
him.



	That wasn't it though, Alex's hands were still there, spreading
Sam's legs open more, he felt Alex's hands slide up on either side of his
waist as the older boys mouth pushed down taking in all of his penis.  He
slipped them around Sam, sliding under him, gripping his butt holding it
and squeezing it as he lifted Sam off of the bed from the waist below,
holding him as his lips drew in the ball sack as well.  Both of Sam's hands
went to Alex's head as he twisted and his head leaned back on the bed his
gasps escaping now freely.



	The first thing he saw was Alex's face inches from his own, "hi."



	Sam felt his cheeks heat a bit, "h-hi."



	"Are you okay?"



	Sam said, "yeah.  I could..."  He gestured a bit to Alex's waist as
they were laying on their sides facing one another.



	Alex shook his head, "don't worry about it.  We'll deal with that
later, if you're up for more."



	Sam moved his head a bit and rested it closer to Alex's on the
pillow they were sharing, "but you didn't...



	His thumb touched Sam's cheek, "I'm fine Sam."



	Sam said, "what was the wet stuff?"



	Alex smiled and reached over Sam for a moment, grabbing a bottle
that he put in Sam's hand.  Sam looked at the bottle, "luber.."



	"lubricant, or lube, its what helps with well friction issues and
it'll also help with... the other thing."



	Sam studied the bottle, it said it was raspberry flavored.  "why
does it have to have a flavor?"



	Alex laughed, "think about it Sam, I used some on your penis
earlier right and then I Put my mouth on it imagine if it had no taste,
look at its ingredients I bet it'd taste pretty bad with no taste."



	Sam studied it again and said, "I guess I never thought about
that."  Then he said, "When you.. when you pulled it back all the way I've
never done that before... it always hurt too much when fully stiff."



	Alex said, "yeah, the lube helped with that."



	Sam still holding the bottle said, "are we going to do it now since
we have it?"



	Alex shook his head, "no, you don't want to do it right now do
you?"



	Sam said, "I don't know... I mean I want to try it."



	Alex touched his cheek again, "we will Sam, we'll try and find a
way to have another sleep over really soon and we'll have a whole romantic
evening and we'll try it and if its too much we'll stop and try again some
other time in the future."



	Sam felt his cheeks heat, "Like a date?"



	Alex kissed his lips, "like a date yes."





*





	They lay like that for a long while, Alex holding Sam, Sam holding
him.  One older, one younger, one dressed, one not.  They talked about what
Alex did while Sam was gone, about what Sam did while he was gone.  They
talked about Alex's music a little bit, about how Sam still really didn't
want to get braces in the new year.  They talked about Paula's new
girlfriend that she had met while at the concert and how Alex had already
kept others out of their business when they had made out in the girl's
bathroom at the restaurant.



	Then it was time, Sam dressed, still feeling that he should have
taken care of Alex too.  Alex had only been concerned with his desire to
touch Sam again and make Sam feel good.  To him that was better than
anything else.  When he made Sam cum, well it made him feel like he had
done something amazing.  Alex helped Sam dress, which Sam regretted when
Alex kept trying to tickle his most sensitive places.  Then they walked
together from Alex's apartment over to Sam's apartment.  His mom had
brought cake and pizza.  She welcomed Alex with a hug and then to Alex's
surprise Paula actually did show up with Natalie.



	Even to Alex's surprise Sam's brother was decent willing to not
look too sullen and actually got the okay from his mom to go stay the night
at Alan's.  Sam actually introduced Paula to his mom as Alex's girlfriend
and her friend Natalie.  Alex wondered what Karen thought about Sam making
friends with people who were so many more years older than him.  Afterwards
when Paula and Natalie had left and Sam had been ordered into the bathroom
for a shower and then bed Alex was helping Sam's mom by gathering up the
pizza box and cake box to take to the dumpster promising her that it wasn't
a problem.



	As he was packing the boxes up Karen said, "Do you think if I got
him a guitar that Sam would want to learn to play?"



	Alex stopped, holding the boxes in his hand, "Sam? Play an
instrument?"



	Karen nodded, "when we were at my sister's I got the idea that he
might want to.  His cousin, she plays guitar and she showed him some simple
things and he was so... well its like when he's with you, he was happy
playing it.  Sam's never been the happiest kid, he's always struggled and
in the last month..."  She stopped and said, "he's been a totally different
kid and I see you and your friends influence on that.  He could have met
anyone that night, sometimes I stay awake at night thinking about that
night and what could have been."



	Alex said, "Sam would love to learn to play.  I know someone who
would even be willing to teach him."



	Sam's mom breathed in deeply for a moment and said, "Good, I just
wish someone or something would appear magically to fix his brother now..."



	Alex said, "I don't have the answers.  Billy isn't Sam, they're
totally different kids."  He stopped for a second and said, "I don't think
what's broken in Sam is fixed anymore than what loosing my sister broke in
me is fixed, but we both found that our friendship makes it easier to live
with the broken parts inside of us.  Maybe Billy needs to find that too and
one day he will on his own.  I don't know if that's even right, I'm just a
high school kid."



	Karen laughed then and said, "you're more right than you know.  I
think I'm going to let you take that trash out and get some sleep."



	 Alex picked up the trash and said, "if you're serious about the
instrument thing, I'd go with an acoustic guitar first, its the best way to
learn and like I said Kyle would be more than willing to teach him."  He
thought for a second and said, "he could even come to our practice next
Friday after school if you're okay with that."



	Karen nodded and said, "If you're with Sam, Alex I don't worry
about him, I know he's in safe hands."  She smiled at him and actually
hugged him for a second before leaving to go check on her tow kids.  Alex
left with the garbage throwing it away and leaned against the dumpster
which was right by building three.  He looked up and could see Sam's
window.  He smiled, it was the truth, Sam hadn't fixed what was broken, but
he had made the world a better place again...









Chapter Fifteen.







	The first time they tried did not turn out to be the most romantic
night in the history of lovers.  It didn't even start out all that
magically honestly.  It started like most Friday's did well maybe a little
worse than some.  The laborious chore that was school, going from class to
class, being dragged before other students that day to read out loud from a
book.  To stumble a bit over words and have Carter and his group snicker at
you and call you a fag on the playground when one of the teachers wasn't
listening or watching.  Pushing you around a bit and laughing even more.
The day went as it always did in that regard.  The final class before the
final bell was the worst.  Sam had always struggled with math and this was
just adding fuel to the emotional beats of the day.



	Maybe for a brief window he had thought turning eleven would make
math easier but now that reality had set in he knew that wasn't going to be
the case.  He sat through Mr. Stone's gentle prodding to show the class how
things should be done more than a few times and then there was a quiz and
finally after all of that long at last the final bell on a Friday afternoon
rang and Sam got up from his seat collecting his stuff and putting it in
his back pack.



	He started for the door and Mr. Stone stopped him, "Sam, this needs
to go to your mom for signing.  Let her know if this keeps up we will have
do more than a parent teacher conference in regards of your grades."  Sam
nodded and Mr. Stone said, "You're a good kid Sam, you're not like some of
these others but I can't ignore your struggles for much longer, we might
need to look into a special class for math."  Sam nodded again as Mr. Stone
squeezed his shoulder.  He left getting on the bus and sitting in the
middle on a seat by himself.  On the bus quietly as most days Carter and
his two friends sitting a few sets back would throw stuff at him or snicker
and make fun of him.  Sometimes the only kid that talked to him at school
Carla would sit next to him but she wasn't on the bus today.



	At his stop Sam got off, walking slowly, dreading that later this
evening he would have to show his mom the test and what Mr. Stone had
written on it.  He walked, the cool December air not quite enough for a
thick jacket, but one of those light cotton jackets with a hood that blew
off of his head in the wind.  He saw Alex, that always made him feel
better.  The world was less of a mean place when he saw Alex.  He walked
slowly though, his thoughts still on the quiz and the letter written on
it. With the way that Carter's teasing had hurt more than usual today for
some reason.  How Carter and his friends had pushed him down harder than
usual by the swings.  As he came up to Alex he didn't lean in and hug him
he just sat down on the step next to him.



	After a moment Alex touched his hand, pulling it into his own,
"Hey, what's wrong?"  Sam hadn't realized that he was moments away from
crying.  He didn't cry, he was not a baby or a little kid. He was eleven
now, he had a boyfriend, he was happy!  He didn't cry!  He swallowed deep
and Alex said, "Sam, its okay...."  Then they were there Alex's hands were
on him, Alex was holding him, enveloping him in a deep hug and Sam tried to
stop the floodgates, he choked a bit on a sob and Alex said, "come on..."
He lifted Sam and they walked together into Alex's apartment.  Somehow
within a minute or two he was in Alex's room, on Alex's bed, in his arms,
"Sam."  He tried to hold on, but the concern painted on Alex's face was all
it took as the last gate came crashing down.



	He felt so embarrassed, so deeply embarrassed as he cried in front
of Alex.  No he didn't just cry he sobbed like a baby.  Big racking sobs
that made his entire body shake in Alex's arms as he tried to get out
things between them, "they're... all.. s..  ean... . And..  I ca...
l'm....  Stupid.... I'm... so....st...pid"



	"Sam..."  He was touching his cheek, he felt Alex's fingers there.
Alex was never going to want to be with him ever again cause he was such a
baby who couldn't stop crying.  "Sam.. hey...." His face was barely in
focus, "breath... Sam you need to breath for me...."  He felt one breath
escape with his sobs as they continued.  Alex was holding him now, not just
touching his face.  He was stroking his back, "Sam...  breath."  He gripped
hard onto Alex and tried, really tried to stop the flood of tears.  They
were stupid tears too, he was really happy more so than he had ever been
for as long as he could remember.  He didn't get why this had all just
broken past that, he'd been ignoring it for months now it didn't matter he
had Alex now, and there was Paula, and his mom.  He was happy, but all of
this other stuff was still there and he couldn't stop it.  The teachers
that ignored the other kids teasing him, the problems with his classes, the
kids picking on him calling him names.  Pushing him and prodding him. He'd
ignored it all for so long because he was happy at home...  why had it
broken him today?



	Slowly, they went away, somehow the sobs subsided and he could feel
Alex's arms around him holding him, stroking his back, as he softly said
more than once, "its okay Sam...  breath.... There..." After a bit they
stopped, he felt warm and safe, but he knew that was an illusion, Alex
would hate him now, he was just a little baby kid like his brother said
after all.  That was so stupid, he'd been with Alex for weeks upon weeks,
Alex didn't think he was a little kid.. he treated him like an equal.. but
he couldn't stop the thought.  His sobs though were done.  He was looking
at Alex a few last tears escaping from his eyes, he felt so safe in this
moment and so afraid that Alex would hate him too for crying. A finger
touched his cheek, softly wiping a tear.  Alex was looking at him now, his
eyes were filled with concern, and pain.  Why was Alex in pain? "there you
are..."



	Sam's voice broke a little when he said, "I-I'm sorry I c-cried."



	Alex softly stroked his cheek, "you never have to be sorry for
crying Sam."



	Sam could still feel his entire body shaking a bit, and his voice
was still filled with the after effects of his sobs.  He sniffled and said,
"you probably don't lov..."



	Alex put a finger to his lips, "everyone cries Sam, and I still
love you every bit as much as I did before you got my shirt wet."



	Sam almost smiled, looking at Alex, his face was inches away
concern and pain still present a bit there, "d-did I hurt you..."



	Alex kissed his cheek, "you hurt Sam, I hurt.  You're in pain, well
so am I."



	Sam sniffled more and moved sliding his head under Alex's truly
resting in his arms, "I don't know why I couldn't stop it.  Its
like... everything today was.... It was too much."



	Alex ran a hand through his hair, "what happened do you think you
can talk about it now?"



	Sam realized he could, he felt safe.  "Nothing that doesn't happen
most days."



	"Like what?"



	He held Alex tighter, "other kids being mean to me, ever since I
kissed Carter its been that way, when the teachers aren't paying attention.
Then having to stand in front of the class and read and missing some words
and some of the kids laughed at that but they laugh at the other kids when
they miss too so its not like its just me... and then... and
then.... And..."  He felt it starting again.



	"Breath Sam.... Count to five and breath." Sam did and then Alex
said, "and then what?"



	"And then Mr. Stone said that he wants to talk to my mom about
putting me in a special math class."  He stopped talking for a long while
and he thought maybe Alex thought that he had been crying about nothing so
he said, "it just....felt like too much today."



	Alex said, "I've been there."



	Sam pulled back so that he could look at Alex, "but you're..."



	"Older?  Sam, everyone has days where they just can't take it
anymore. When did you break down think about it. When did you chose to
actually let it all out?"



	Sam thought for a moment and said, "not till I saw you... I thought
even if you wouldn't want me anymore because I was a little kid that you'd
still take care of me..."



	Alex stroked his cheek, "Sam, instinctively you knew that I would
take care of you.  The ones who love you are the ones who take care of you
when you hurt.  If I stopped loving you because you hurt I'd be pretty
shallow.  Would your mom have stopped loving you because you sobbed like a
toddler?"





	Sam said, "no but she's my mom... I don't know its different when I
cry in front of her than you.  You're not my mom... or my dad.. you're
my..."  he felt warmth pass through his body as he said it, "boyfriend."



	Alex smiled and said, "damn straight, let me ask you Sam, if say
two hours from now I broke down and started sobbing like you did would you
stop loving me?"



	Sam swallowed, now that he thought about it it had been pretty
stupid to think that Alex would stop loving him because he cried.  "No. I'd
try to make you feel better."



	"So why on earth would you think that I wouldn't do the same for
you?  I love you Sam, not because most times you're more mature than your
age.  Or because you're always happy or like kissing me or any of the other
stuff we do.  I love you, not that stuff.  Even if one day we stop doing
all that other stuff I promise I will still be here for you because I love
you.  You stuck with me for life like your mom and dad."



	Sam sniffled and said, "I love you too Alex, really so much that I
can't explain it."  Sam kissed Alex then, not waiting for the older boy to
become open for it or tell him he should.  He kissed Alex with a hunger he
found inside of him that he hadn't known was there until that moment.  They
kissed for a long while, lips meeting, tongues tangled, eyes staying on
eyes.  The kiss became more, it was slow at first, and Sam took the steps
this time not Alex.  He pushed at Alex until the older boy was on his back,
Sam sliding down on Alex' undoing his jeans.



	He didn't know where it came from, why he felt the needs that he
felt in that moment.  Was it something Alex had said to him, was it
something he had said back.  Was it the realization that nothing could ever
stop Alex form loving him?  Was it his own realization that no matter what
he'd never stop loving Alex either?  He knew from his parents divorce and
Alex's own parents break that love like that didn't love forever, but he
also knew that sometimes it did and in this moment he wanted to believe
that his words and Alex's words were the real thing.  He wanted Alex. The
preteen boy had never wanted someone before, he had never desired to
actually have someone.



	Yes he desired to feel good and for Alex to make him feel good, and
he liked making Alex feel good too.  The good feelings though had been a
product of expressing their feelings for one another, a product of both of
them wanting to understand the feelings that were building inside of them.
This time, this was pure desire to be with Alex.  He was actually starting
to understand what feeling physical desire for someone else intensely was
all about.  Sam could see now why people who loved each other wanted to
show it physically.



	He pulled at Alex's jeans, undoing them almost hurriedly and Alex
said, "Sam.. its not going anywhere I promise."  Sam looked up at him
smiling and frustratingly tried to pull the jeans down.  Alex laughed and
helped him, pulling his jeans down.  He was big in his boxers, Sam's eyes
roamed over the length of it.  He had sucked on this before, he had stroked
it, made Alex cum more than once, but right now he desired to do more.  He
stood up his legs on either side of Alex's waist and he reached down taking
Alex's hands putting them on his waist.



	The older boy slid his hands over the waist band of Sam's own jeans
as Sam pulled his jacket off, and tossed his tee-shirt off with it.  Alex's
fingers undid the button on Sam's jeans and then the zipper, pulling them
down so that Sam now was only in his underwear along with Alex.  Sam looked
as he stood with his feet on either side of Alex's waist.  Alex sat up, his
lips touching Sam's stomach, his tongue running over his button.  He felt
Alex's hands cupping his bottom from the back.  He moved turning as Alex
pulled him down, dragging at his briefs as well until they were down just
enough on his legs that they were resting on Alex's chest.



	Alex pulled him down onto his face and when he felt Alex's tongue
slide between his cheeks Sam squirmed a bit and slipped down, resting his
arms on Alex's stomach as he reached for the older boy's boxers.  Sam
reached inside, finding the opening and pulling Alex's out of it.  He
popped out almost hitting Sam in the face, resting against his cheek.  He
laughed as he felt Alex's fingers slide up between his legs, his fingers
finding Sam's erection.  He stroked Alex's own with his hands, sliding his
mouth over the head of it as Alex's tongue again tickled his butt.



	He wanted more... Sam pulled his mouth off of Alex's penis and
slipped off of Alex, standing up again, he pulled at his briefs dragging
them off and tossing them onto Alex's chest which made him giggle as he saw
them land there.  Alex shook his head and Sam reached into the night stand
drawer and pulled out the lubricant stuff.  "I..." he breathed in once,
"want you to put it in me Alex."



	Alex said, "I.. was planning on a whole romantic sleepover you
know...."



	Sam put some of the lube on his hand and rubbed them together going
down on Alex's legs sitting on them sliding up to where Alex's penis was.
He ran his hands with the lube on them over the length of it, rubbing it a
few times. It was throbbing and likely close, Sam had gotten the feeling
for that.  His smaller one rested against Alex's bigger, running along the
length of it as he said, "I want to feel it Alex. I don't know why.... I
just..."



	Alex said, "I do too Sam, we've discussed this a few times this
week remember?"  He did remember, they had talked about how Alex did want
to put it in he was just afraid of hurting Sam.  About how Sam still
thought it was strange you could do it but the tongue sliding over that
area felt good.  "Here..."  He had Sam stand again and he thought that Alex
was going to move him to come down on his mouth again but Alex stood up and
took the lube from Sam and said, "Turn around for me.... Here.."  When Sam
turned around Alex's fingers hand hands stared rubbing his butt, sliding up
into it, sliding over his hole, sliding and pushing a bit on it.  Sam
jumped.  "you're sure you want to try this Sam? We don't have to, we can
wait for as long as you need."



	Sam said, "I'm sure... I know its not how you..."



	Alex kissed his stomach now that he was still standing facing Alex
again, "its perfect Sam.  Here... lets... try it this way first, let you
decide if you can take it okay?"  Sam nodded and Alex again guided him,
sliding Sam onto his back, resting him on his back.  He took a pillow and
put it under Sam's lower back, so that it rose up some and then Alex spread
his legs slowly.  "I've never done this either you know... I might..." He
swallowed and said, "if it hurts too much Sam just tell me and I'll stop."



	Sam swallowed, suddenly a part of him was afraid, not really of it
hurting, afraid that he might not be able to tell Alex to stop if it did.
Or maybe afraid that he wouldn't like it.  It took Alex a minute, he
hesitated but Sam said, "I want to try Alex, I wouldn't have gotten it out
if I hadn't wanted to try it."  Alex nodded and took out some more of the
lubricant and ran it over his penis with his own hands and looked at Sam.
He took one of Sam's hands into his own holding it.  His other he guided
his penis between Sam's legs.



	Sam opened them at the waist, spread as he watched between the two
of them.  Alex's penis slipped over his own, sliding up over it once before
he pushed it down lower, sliding over Sam's small ball-sack, sliding down
lower, he felt the head first, sliding between his cheeks.  It was big, and
felt even more so between his small butt cheeks.  Alex put his hands on
Sam's waist, letting go of his fingers as he used that to lift Sam a little
bit.



	Sam felt it then as Alex's penis slipped between the cheeks fully,
the head sliding up to the entrance.  At first it was nothing, just resting
there between his cheeks.  Alex's eyes looked into his own, "ready?"  Sam
bit his bottom lip once but nodded.  He was ready.  He was determined.  The
lubricant was needed.  Alex pushed, at first it was nothing, just the head
pressing against the opening that was tight.  It hurt just a little bit as
if something was trying to pop into him, "relax Sam, just unclench
everything..."  Sam swallowed and nodded as Alex pressed again, something
happened, he felt it, he didn't know how to describe it but slowly the more
they continued the more it happened.



	After a few when just the head was poking at it Alex said,
"here.. lets try with you on top..." Sam swallowed, but they slowly moved,
still connected though it did slip out a bit.  He moved on top of Alex, his
stomach resting on Alex's own.  His spread on either side.  He put his
hands on Alex's chest, sitting up a bit as he could feel it between his
cheeks even more like this.  He winced a bit as it jerked and sort of hit
the opening.  "Sorry... do you want to stop?"



	Sam shook his head, he was determined now and he was the one in
control a bit more.  He moved, trying to press on it as he used his hands
on Alex's chest and he could feel Alex's large penis between his cheeks,
sliding up again, the top of the head just inside the opening.  He relaxed
like Alex had said and pressed against it again.  Alex pushed up a bit and
it happened.  It did hurt, there was no way around that.  The first
entrance shocked Sam, he gasped with the pain and Alex looked like he was
about to stop.  Sam shook is head and pressed down on the head of Alex's
dick more.  It was going in, he felt it, sliding into him.  At first it was
simple, the pain from having it opened from the outside instead of the
usual way when stuff came out took a moment for him to get used to.  The
pain though started to disappear when he pushed down again and the entire
head almost popped into him.



	Alex under him said, "Sam.. s-slowly...don't..."  Having Alex slip
into him, for some reason it was making his own penis throb a bit, it was
tickling something at the base, he couldn't describe it.  He gasped as more
entered and Alex said, "Shit... Sam... its too tight... I don't want to..."



	Sam shook his head, "I... want to feel you in me Alex.. please?"
He didn't know until that moment that he could beg, or that he could feel
like this.  Now that more than just a bit was in he wanted more in.  Just a
bit more.  He pushed again and Alex groaned a bit as more of him filled
Sam.  He felt it surging inside of his butt, that throbbing as the first
inch or so was in there.  It was so tight, Sam didn't know if he could keep
going.  It hurt, it felt amazing, but it also hurt.  He felt a little
impaled.



	Alex touched him, stroking his back, sliding down to stroke his
entire back all the way to the globes of his butt.  "Sam I'm going to
cum.... I should pull out..."



	"Can't you do it in me?"



	"Not today Sam...some day."





	Sam nodded and said, "okay but can you keep it in just a little
longer?"  Alex swallowed and nodded back.  Sam didn't move, really he was
afraid that if he moved even an inch Alex would have to pull it out faster
than he wanted him to.  After a moment though Alex pulled back sliding out
with a pop feeling as he slipped out of Sam's bottom.  He rolled Sam onto
his back and ran his penis over Sam's own again a few times before his seed
shot out then he leaned down and kissed Sam for so very long before laying
down beside him.  It was only about ten minutes later when Sam realized how
much his butt hurt.







*





	The first entrance, that first moment when he pushed into Sam was
the most incredible sensation that Alex had ever imagined.  The head only
popped in for all of a few seconds, sliding right back out of the tight
ring of Sam's ass, but it was enough for him to know that Sam would have to
be on top this first time if he was actually going to make it in.  Guiding
Sam on top hadn't been as easy as he thought either.  Just being between
the butt cheeks was almost enough to make Alex cum but he could see the
determination in Sam's face and he didn't want to ruin this moment for him.



	It took a moment for him to feel it again as Sam began to press
down on him, the feeling of Sam's opening meeting the head was what Alex
felt first, then as he rested his hands on Sam's hips and the boy moved
holding himself up with his hands on Alex's chest he felt it.  Somehow Sam
got the message to relax his body, to fully open up to it and it happened.
It was tighter than Alex had expected, the opening sliding around the head
of his dick was almost too much.  He wanted to tell Sam to stop.



	Especially when he saw the pain on Sam's face he wanted him to stop
but the determination was there as well and Alex knew that nothing was
going to stop Sam.  He pushed down on Alex and more slipped in.  Going into
the preteen was the most incredible thing that the teenager had ever felt.
He couldn't believe that it was actually happening.  They had talked about
it, but he had figured Sam was a long way away from wanting this.  The boy
and his desires astounded Alex sometimes.  Until Sam he had been pretty
sure that boys his age didn't want to try stuff like this.



	More than the head was in now, the tightness surrounding him by
then.  He knew that it was too much, the feeling of Sam surrounding him,
the looks of mixed pleasure, determination, and pain on the boys face and
the fact that he had already been close to cuming anyway were all too much
for Alex.  He had to pull out and he told Sam that he was about to.  No
doubt with how tight it was up in there even just about an inch within Sam
he had probably stimulated the boy.  Sam gasped as it slipped out of him
and Alex slipped with him on the bed as he ran his penis over the younger
boys own and came on Sam's lower stomach.



	He kissed Sam after that and cleaned his seed off of the younger
boy's stomach before he collapsed on the bed next to Sam.  After a bit of
recovery Alex said, "How do you feel?"



	Sam didn't speak for a long while and Alex thought that he might be
really hurting.  Finally he said, "it hurts, but it felt... when you were
inside... felt different..."



	"Bad?"



	Sam shook his head, "no, good, just not the same way that when you
suck on me feels. Or how kissing feels.  It was... I wanted to feel more.
Like I felt there should be more than just sticking it in."



	Alex said, "well there's movement, like sliding in and out, but I
think we'll uh try that in the future after we've done it a few times... if
you want to try it again sometime."



	Sam moved a bit and winced then said, "yes I do... I want to
Alex... umm but it does really hurt."



	Alex swallowed and got up from the bed, "I'll be right back, Paula
told me about something her sister told her about..." he came back with
something Paula had given him and said, "Here open your legs, let me
see..."  He looked, it was all red and swollen, clearly looked painful and
as Alex applied the cream that Paula had given him he felt horrible.
Honestly horrible.  "I'm sorry Sam... maybe..."



	Sam said, "We did it together.  I liked it really Alex. It felt
right when you were inside... I wish I was bigger so that I could put it in
you...."



	Alex smiled at that and said "okay close your legs."  He pulled Sam
into his arms then and said, "one day you'll be bigger and we'll try that
too."



	Sam snuggled safely in his arms, "and we'll try this again too
sometime soon right?"



	"After you've healed Sam, we'll discuss it and see if we can find a
way to make it even better the second time."



	Sam nodded, "yeah, so uh how did I do?"



	Alex laughed and said, "you were incredible Sam.  Of course I did
miss band practice."



	"Should we go?"  His head was on Alex's chest now.



	"No, I wouldn't move from right here if there was a fire
downstairs..."



	Sam smiled, "we'll that's stupid, we'd die."



	Alex kissed his head, "how about if we just leave it at I'd rather
just stay here with you in m arms for a few hours."



	Sam snuggled more, his eyes closed, "I really really love you
Alex."



	"I really really love you too Sam..."  They slept holding one
another.  It was a perfect first time, things after wouldn't always be
perfect, but this moment was.











Chapter Sixteen





	It took three whole days for Sam's butt to stop hurting but each
time it did he remembered how incredible what had led to that had been.
Alex really took care of him too after school, they even kissed and did a
few things here and there, but mostly Alex felt really bad about hurting
him and that made things not as fun as usual.  Sam did keep insisting that
it had been worth it and he could tell that Alex thought it had been as
well.



	So after it stopped hurting Sam wanted to try again but Alex said
that they should wait a bit longer.  Sam wasn't even sure why he wanted to
try again.  It wasn't like he needed to do it, Alex wasn't begging him for
it.  Maybe it was because Alex was so unsure about doing it that made Sam
want to do it all over again?  Or maybe it was that feeling, the one right
there close to the end before Alex had pulled out?  It had felt like
something really good was about to happen but then it had ended.



	Still even if Alex kept putting it off they did do other things
together.  School was approaching the Christmas break and that meant though
that Alex had a lot of school stuff to do and some afternoons he wasn't
around so Sam had to find other things to occupy his time.  The last day of
school before Christmas break was actually okay, he made it through the
half day and managed to get home.  The surprise was seeing his mom at home
when he got off of the bus.  Fridays she usually worked a little later than
other days of the week.



	As he walked into the apartment his mom was on the phone talking
with someone and she smiled at him once as she was saying, "...that's fine
Barbara, I think I can find someone to watch the kids."  Sam continued on
into his bedroom and put his backpack down as he wondered what his mom had
going on.  He walked back out figuring that he'd see if Alex was around as
he knew that Alex had gotten out early today too.  He was heading to the
front door when his mom stopped him, "Where are you going?"



	Sam shrugged, "I thought I'd see if Alex was around."



	"Well if he is could you ask him if he'd come over here, I'd like
to ask him something."  Sam looked back at his mom, suddenly he was a
little afraid that she might have found out about him and Alex.  They were
really careful though.  They only kissed in Alex's house and they only did
more than that at his house when his mom wasn't home.  There was no way
that his mom knew anything, but still the look she had was one of
determination and Sam wasn't sure what that was for.



	"Okay."  He headed out of the house running down the steps and then
heading over to Alex's.  Alex wasn't sitting on the step like he did
sometimes.  Lately with how cold it had been out he'd been staying in his
apartment.  Sam walked up to the door and knocked and after a minute Alex's
mom answered.  She looked down at Sam for a moment, she always had such sad
eyes Sam decided.  She smiled sometimes but it was always a bit sad as
well.  "Uh is Alex here?"



	She held a wine glass in her hand, that was also another thing that
she did all the time.  Sam knew that her drinking hurt Alex but he didn't
know how to fix it just like Alex didn't.  "He's off at some practice
thing."  She gestured that he was gone and Sam nodded before heading back
down the stairs.



	He went back over to his apartment and his mom said, "Where's
Alex?"



	Sam said, "he's over at Kyle's.  If you really need to talk to him
I could go get him, its only three blocks away and I know right where it is
too!"  He said all of it really fast as if that would get his mom to only
hear half of the words and let him go.



	His mom though was super mom, or maybe it was a mom power to hear
what your kids say when they talk really fast.  "I don't know Sam."



	Sam sighed, "I won't talk to strangers, I'll run over there, and
I'll come right back even if Alex can't."



	She studied him again and said, "okay, what's the street name so
that if you're not back in thirty minutes I can come look for you?"



	"River Edge Road."  He had walked with Alex down there about five
times now so he had a pretty good idea of where it was.  "Its 3113 River
Edge Road."  His mom nodded and Sam took off again heading out of the
apartment, back down the stairs and then out of the complex.  He had to
wait for a few cars to come down the street before he crossed.  He still
found it strange that Rob lived right across the street from Alex but they
almost never saw him.  Alex had told him once that if Rob wasn't at school
or in an after school activity he was always over at his girlfriends house
instead of his own. Sam could understand that, he'd rather be hanging with
Alex at his house than at his own house not doing anything.



	From Rob's street he had to walk to the end, then turn down another
street and another before getting to Rivers Edge.  Sam started down the
street, and as he approached Kyle's house he didn't hear the sound of
music.  He did see a familiar car in the driveway though.  He had seen
Paula's car a few times now and other than Alex she was probably his second
favorite person that wasn't his mom.  He walked up to the house feeling
more confident that Alex would be there if Paula was there.



	The garage was closed so he had to walk around it to the side door
that led into the garage. He was walking up to go into that door when he
heard the middle of Alex's conversation with someone, "...I am taking
advantage of a little kid who can't understand what love is yet."  Sam
stopped, standing almost fully in the open doorway now, looking at where
Alex and Paula were sitting together alone in the garage.  It was Paula who
saw him first and then Alex turned looking at him and said, "Sam?"



	He stood there for a second looking at Alex.  He KNEW he had walked
in during the middle of a conversation and hadn't gotten the full context
of what Alex and Paula were talking about but the words hurt too much for
him to comprehend, it was like when Carter made fun of him or his brother
called him a retarded little kid.  He had only heard the last bit but his
mind started putting together all kinds of other things that Alex had said
before that, about how he was a little kid that cried and that he had
gotten what he wanted or something like that.



	It hurt, even though a part of him KNEW that Alex would never say
any of that kind of stuff another part of him just couldn't stop thinking
that Alex had said all kinds of hurtful things. Sam didn't look at Alex, he
didn't wait to find out what Alex had been talking about.  Instead he
turned and almost ran into Kyle who said, "hey there little dude..."  Sam
twirled around him not saying sorry and Kyle sort of twisted looking at him
as Sam took off running down the street.



	A part of Sam knew that he was taking things out of context.  He
was eleven not three, but his emotions were not allowing him to stop and
think about what he had heard. All he knew was that Alex had said that he
was a kid, that he didn't understand love, and that he was being used.  It
was those three things that burned hot in Sam's mind as he ran back down
the sidewalk on the three streets and then across the one street back to
his apartment.



	He walked into the apartment and his mom said, "Did you find Alex?"



	Sam shrugged and said, "who cares?!"  Then he walked back into his
bedroom and closed the door.  His mom tried knocking and asking him what
was wrong but Sam just said, "nothing."  A moment after that it was quite
so he figured his mom had decided to leave him alone.  He didn't cry, maybe
it hurt too much for him to cry?  Alex had called him a little kid but more
than that he had said that Sam didn't understand love when he loved Alex
more than anyone in the world.



	Had Alex just been...no....that was stupid but Alex had never said
hurtful things about him either so he wasn't sure what he was feeling.
Maybe that was how Alex always talked about him with his friends, saying he
was just some little kid who didn't get things.  Maybe.  His mind wouldn't
stop telling him that Alex didn't love him really.  The rational part of
his brain was yelling at the rest but for some reason Sam's mind wouldn't
listen to that part of his head it just kept repeating the words over and
over again that he had heard Alex say.





*





	Alex hit the drum with the stick and then tossed it before leaning
back in the chair that Mark used when he played the drums and said, "so is
Mark really never going to show up to one of these things again?"



	Kyle who was tuning his guitar said, "fuck if I know.  Aaron's not
even here today.  How come your girlfriend is the only one who shows up to
these things?"



	Paula sitting on the couch said, "thanks, making me feel all kinds
of welcome over here Kyle."



	Kyle smiled, "well if you played guitar or the drums you'd be more
welcome."



	Alex sighed and stood up as he said, "I guess Mark getting a
girlfriend was a bad thing after all. I thought maybe it'd make him
more... you know interested in performing in front of her or something?"



	Kyle laughed, "yeah right, Mark's getting laid for the first time
in his life, he's too busy getting the pussy to care, sorry to be crude
there Paula."



	Paula said, "I know what a pussy is."



	Kyle smiled and laughed again, "she's a delight Alex, you should
always keep her around."  He fiddled with his guitar a bit more and then
said, "so you really want me to teach the kid how to play guitar?"





	Alex sat down on the couch next to Paula and said, "yes if you're
okay with doing it, or at least trying.  Sam's mom can afford the guitar
but she can't really afford lessons."



	Kyle shrugged, "sure he's cool, when you first introduce him I
thought a kid hanging around would be a problem with how much we mess
around.  He's almost like another member of the group, don't get why your
friends but if you need a little brother its all good."



	Alex smiled a bit, indeed a little brother.  That was what Kyle saw
Sam as, Alex's little brother.  Paula was the only person in the entire
world other than Sam that knew his relationship with Sam was far more than
brotherly.  In the past few weeks since their first time he had been very
hesitant to try that again.  The pain that Sam had been in for the three
days after had caused Alex to almost loose his entire desire to do anything
ever again with Sam.  He had hurt him and how much he loved Sam meant that
he hurt a lot as well.



	It had been a magical afternoon though.  At first when Sam had been
sobbing in his arms all Alex had wanted to do was fix what was hurting.  He
knew that kids Sam's age a lot of times had a thin shell surrounding
emotions that they sometimes couldn't quite get control of.  More than that
he knew that kind of hurt. The kind that seemed like it was nothing and
then just one little thing that seemed insignificant was enough to make you
explode.  Sometimes all it took was one person saying or doing the wrong
thing just for one second and your entire world shattered.  He had sobbed
like that more than once after Sarah's death, and most of the times it had
been over other things other than Sarah.  Sometimes the stupid simple
things hurt more than the serious.



	Kyle sighed and said, "well fuck it... I'm going to get something
to drink.  I'll be back then I guess we can practice one of acoustic songs
instead."  He put his guitar down on its stand and then walked out of the
garage heading towards the house.



	When he left Paula sitting next to Alex surprised him when she
said, "I've made a decision, well really Natalie helped me come to the
decision, I'm coming out so I can take her to games and hold her hand at
them, kiss her, all of that. That means I'm going to have to dump you."  He
knew that she and Natalie had been seeing a lot of each other. Natalie was
a year older than Paula and went to a private school that wasn't that far
from their school, but they only saw each other after school.



	Alex took her hand and said, "and just like that the best romance
in the history of our high school comes to a crashing end."



	Paula laughed and squeezed his hand "very funny, we both know that
you're obsessed with someone else just like I am."



	Alex said, "I'm happy for you.  Glad that you're taking the
chance."



	Paula paused for a moment, turning to look at him, her eyes meeting
his her hand still in his, "You know you could come out as well, nothings
stopping you, plenty of musicians are gay."



	Alex laughed a bit, "Coming out isn't the problem, not really, the
problem is that I couldn't tell anyone who I was seeing, and it just adds a
lot of other complex problems if I was out gay as to why I spend so much
time alone with a ten well now eleven year old."  That had hit him the
other day, the realization that if he came out all of the times that he was
alone with Sam would be viewed so very differently from people than it was
now.  He'd be viewed as not just gay but also a child rapist or something
like that. He didn't want children, others might not understand that but he
did.  His love for Sam wasn't tied up in age, it was tied up in all the
experiences he and Sam had felt together.



	Paula agreed, "That is true, it does make things more difficult for
you and Sam."



	Alex sighed and wished sometimes that life didn't have to be so
complex.  At first it had been a simple thing, he had thought Sam was a
cute boy, younger than Alex sure, but still cute.  He had wished that the
boy would smile and then fate had stepped in and a chance encounter had led
to them becoming friends and then that first kiss on Halloween night, the
one that he shouldn't have done but had wanted to do.  At first he had
thought that maybe he just wanted to be with little boys, but the more
things had grown with Sam the more he had realized that it was more than
that.



	He had gotten his answers on why he had stayed with Sam, on why he
had let things go beyond kissing.  Sam was a younger kid than Alex, but
Alex really didn't see a kid when he looked at Sam, he saw Sam.  Other
people wouldn't believe it, they would say that he was using Sam, that a
kid Sam's age was incapable of love or being with someone who wasn't using
them.  If he came out all of the months he'd spent with Sam, the days where
they had been alone for hours at a time together all of it would be viewed
in a microscope of their age difference.  Also most would say that there
was no way Sam would already know he wasn't into girls, that he was too
young, some would even say that Alex was too young, but too old to be
involved with a preteen.



	He sighed as he let those thoughts out a bit, "It does, people
would never see our relationship like we do, they'd just say that I'm
taking advantage of some little kid or that I'm involved with some little
kid and they'd be right in there eye's I am taking advantage of a little
kid who can't understand what love is..."  He trailed off as he saw someone
standing in the garage doorway.  At first he thought it might have been
Kyle and he hoped Kyle hadn't heard him say any of the stuff he had just
said.  Instead it was Sam.  Perfect beautiful Sam.



	Only Sam wasn't happy, he had an emotion on his face that Alex had
not ever seen before, anger?  Sam was angry at him.  "Sam?"  The boy wasn't
in the doorway a second later, having run back out of it and almost hitting
Kyle who was walking in.



	As Kyle stepped in he said, "whoa that kid just stormed out of
here, never seen someone looking that angry since my mom caught me eating
the last of the ice cream straight from the container."



	Alex stood up and said, "I'd better see what's going on."  He
wasn't sure what Sam was angry about, not sure at all how long Sam had been
standing in that doorway, what part of his conversation with Paula that the
younger boy had heard.  Nor could he figure out why it would make Sam angry
at him.  He knew though from experience with hearing his parents argue that
sometimes one little thing that you didn't mean anything by could make the
other person so angry that they didn't want to talk to you anymore.  "sorry
about practice."



	Kyle shrugged as he popped open his coke, "eh it was already fucked
anyways."



	Paula said, "I should be heading home anyway. Do you want me to
drop you at the apartment?"



	Alex said, "I'm going to try to catch up to him, see what's going
on."  He stepped out of the door that Sam had been standing in and started
down the street.  Sam wasn't at the end of the street, he was fast when he
wanted to be.  Alex had seen him run a few times now and had determined
that Sam was pretty good at running.  He started off debating on running
after him or not.  He used the time instead to think.  What had Sam heard
that would make him mad?  The question was more now if Sam had heard
something and taken it out of context.  That was the mother of all really
bad moments, taking what someone else said out of context by not hearing
all of the stuff being said.



	He stopped before the stairs leading up to Sam's apartment and
sighed, this was going to be difficult.  He knocked on the door to the
apartment.  Hoping that Sam's brother wasn't there.  Instead it was his mom
who answered.  "Alex, there you are, I was thinking that Sam hadn't gone to
get you, I was about to make him go over to Alan's with his brother since
he hadn't found you."



	Alex saw that Karen was dressed in her work uniform, usually she
didn't work the evenings.  He forgot for a moment about Sam in the other
room and instead focused on the fact that Sam had been coming to get him
for a reason, "what's going on?"



	"One of the night girls called in and I thought I'd take her shift
since its a Friday night and its also the start of school being out.  You
don't have to say yes but I figured since you and Sam get along so well
that you wouldn't have a problem watching him tonight."



	Alex looked back at where he knew Sam's room was and said, "no its
not a problem, do you know why he'd be mad at me though?"



	Karen stopped grabbing her bag.  "Finding out why Sam's mad at
someone is like pulling teeth.  If its a problem Alex..."



	He shook his head, "its not, I'll talk to him, we'll be fine.  I've
just never actually seen him angry before."



	Sam's mom touched his arm, "did you two fight about something?"



	Alex said, "no but when he came into the garage over at Kyle's I
think he might have heard me and Paula talking about something that he
might have heard and not understood what we were talking about."



	Karen nodded thinking, "well if its just a misunderstanding then I
feel better, if its a problem though call me at the restaurant and I'll
come back or have Alan's mom come fetch Sam."  Alex nodded a bit and she
touched his arm again before saying, "you'll be fine, whatever it is he'll
forgive you, he loves you like a brother you know."  Alex agreed though he
knew the truth Sam did not love him like a brother anymore than Alex loved
Sam like a brother.



	Karen left and after a minute he heard her car pulling away from
down below. Alex looked around Sam's apartment, it was the same layout as
his own.  He'd been in a few times, the last time really was during Sam's
birthday celebration.  Alex walked down the hall to the bedrooms and
stopped before the door that belonged to Sam's room.  He knocked, "Sam?"



	"Go away."



	Alex said through the door, "can we please talk Sam?"



	Sam opened the door then.  He was looking up at Alex, and there was
just a hint of unshed tears, but his face was more stone angry.  He walked
past Alex and said, "Mom could you..." he stopped and then looked at Alex,
"where's my mom?"



	"She had to go to work, asked me to watch you."  Sam walked past
him again and then went into his bedroom.  Alex stopped at the doorway,
"what's wrong Sam?"



	Sam sat on his bed and this time he was slightly defeated, "so I
guess I really am just a kid...even my mom doesn't ask me if I'm okay with
you watching me cause you're older."



	Alex stepped into the room, so that was where Sam had come in.  He
sat down slowly beside Sam on the bed.  Sam moved sliding away, "you heard
me and Paula talking huh?"



	Sam sort of shrugged and said, "heard you say I was just a kid and
didn't know what love was."



	Alex sighed, "Sam."



	Sam looked up and over at him, Alex could tell that he was just
barely holding back tears of anger and frustration.  He was also
angry. Alex had never seen Sam angry before and it hurt him to know that
Sam was angry at him. "I thought you didn't think I was a kid... I thought
you... thought... I..."  He stopped and then.



	Alex sighed again, "you're being stupid."  Well that was clearly
not the right thing to say.



	"Well I am a stupid kid..."  Alex tried to touch Sam but Sam jumped
up off of the bed and said, "and you're taking adva...advan...ta...ge of a
st....up... kid!"  His face was a blend of anger and sadness and the tears
were there.



	Alex knew this was one of those moments where things were forever
either fucked up beyond fixing or everything became better.  He moved over
to where Sam was standing, going down so that he was level with him.  Sam
stepped back, this time he didn't want Alex to comfort him since Alex was
part of the cause of this.  "You're not stupid Sam, and you're not a kid."



	"You said I was..."



	Alex took his hand, Sam almost pulled it away but Alex held it,
softly he stroked the top of Sam's hand with his thumb.  "I did not say you
were a kid, and I know I said you were stupid but I didn't mean it like how
you took it."



	Sam did pull his hand away this time, "At Kyle's you told Paula I
was a kid."



	Alex didn't let his eyes leave Sam's.  He didn't try to wipe away
the tears it would just make Sam more angry.  "I was telling Paula that no
one else would understand what you and I have, that because of our age
difference they would see only the black and white, that they would think I
was taking advantage of you."  The room was quite for a bit.  The only
sound was Sam sniffing a bit.  "I don't see it that way Sam, and I do not
think you're a kid...well anymore than I think I'm a kid."





	He tried to reach out again but Sam stepped back.  He looked at
Alex, looking up from his own shoes, "do you take advantage of me?"



	Alex said, "well I mean I take advantage of how ticklish you are
sometimes."



	Sam still didn't seem better, "but you're not making me do things I
don't want to do."



	"No I don't make you do things you don't want to do Sam.  I know
you love me and the last thing I would want to do is take advantage of
that."



	Sam was still watching him, "and you really don't think I'm
stupid?"



	"Sam..."



	Sam gave a small smile just on the edge of a huge smile, "so I am
stupid..."



	"about as dumb as a bag of rocks." Alex smiled back just a bit of
levity to the earlier situation.



	Sam's eyes got wide but he still had a smile on his face and he
said, "hey... you just..."



	"I just what?"



	Sam said, "You're calling me stupid, rocks don't have brains."



	Alex leaned back, "they don't?"



	Sam went to hit him and said, "take it..."  before he could Alex
grabbed him and found the sensitive spots on his sides, tickling him.  Sam
squirmed and got away as he said, "don't... we're being serious."



	Alex nodded and Sam came back over sitting down next to him on the
floor in Sam's bedroom leaning against the bed.  He took Sam's hand then,
this time the younger boy did not take his out.  "Listen Sam, I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to call you stupid and I didn't mean to make you think that I
thought you were just some kid."



	Sam softly said, "but I am just a kid."



	"Well I disagree, if I thought that others out there like your mom,
or my friends could understand I'd tell them all tomorrow that I'm in love
with you."  He squeezed Sam's hand before continuing, "the truth is that
they won't see it, they will only see our ages and would never believe that
I didn't force you into things with me.  They won't see how many times we
just sit together and talk or how much better you make my days.  All they
will see is..."



	Sam interrupted him, "that you put it in my butt?"



	Alex laughed and Sam laughed a bit too the entire misunderstanding
put fully behind them by the small joke.  He put his arm around Sam's
shoulders this time so that they were snuggled closer together on the
floor.  "Its why I hesitate to do stuff sometimes.  A part of me wants to
wait till you're older just be your friend but when I'm around you..."  he
paused hesitating to say it not sure if Sam would really understand, he was
younger after all.  "all I can think about is how much I want to be with
you."



	Sam said, "you never make me do stuff I don't want to do when we're
alone together."  They were quite again for a long while, finally Sam said,
"I knew you didn't really think I was a kid, I just got mad when I heard
it."



	Alex said, "I figured, that happens sometimes, we can't control
when we get angry."



	"my mom usually leaves me alone till I stop being mad."



	Alex rubbed his shoulder as he held Sam, "well I don't like you
being mad at me so I'll always try to figure it out."



	Sam moved then sliding so that he was sitting on Alex facing him.
He took both of Alex's bigger hands in is own and Sam looking at him said,
"I want you to try and put your penis in me again Alex.  I want us to try
it again."



	Alex swallowed and said, "Sam I don't..."



	Sam interrupted him, "You're not making me do it Alex.  I want to
try it again.  You said we would, its been two weeks, I want to try again."



	He was still hesitant, he was afraid, honestly and truthfully he
was afraid of hurting Sam again, even if it had been the most incredible
feeling in the world being in the younger boy, even if the two of them had
both agreed they would try again he still didn't want to hurt Sam.  Yet he
saw it in the younger boys' eyes.  Sam's determination and no fear over it
were both there clearly.  He wanted to try it again.  "I'd have to go get
the stuff at my apartment."



	Sam looked up at his much smaller twin bed and said, "we'd do it
here?"



	"Well my mom is at home and your mom won't be home till really late
tonight and your brother is gone... so...."



	Sam flushed and said, "okay.  I'll wait here."  He kissed Alex
then, just a small one but there was Alex could tell a fire there.  He
disengaged from Sam and headed back over to his apartment to get the
stuff. Somehow he felt like Sam had manipulated him into getting this
chance again, if so then the younger boy was really good at knowing how to
get Alex to make love to him.





*





	Sam sat leaning back against his bed as he waited for Alex to
return.  Earlier before he had almost wanted to never see Alex again, no
that wasn't true he had just been mad at Alex for calling him a little kid
and he hadn't even been right about why Alex had called him a little kid.
Sam still wasn't sure why he had overreacted so much.  Clearly a part of
him had known that Alex didn't really think of him as a kid, still it had
been a little hard to forgive him when Alex had kept putting his own foot
in his mouth.  Thinking about that made Sam smile a little bit.



	Two times close to the end he hadn't really been mad with Alex
anymore at all.  There at that one point though the breaking point when
Alex had called him stupid and he hadn't been able to stop himself he had
been more afraid than anything.  The person who for the past two months had
been the one that had taken care of his hurt had actually hurt him instead.
He knew that Alex hadn't meant to hurt him, that it had hurt Alex to see
him hurting but he hadn't wanted Alex at that moment.



	It was only after Alex had apologized that he had let Alex hold
him.  Then they had joked around and everything had been better.  Inside a
bit of Sam wanted to punch the rest of him because he had gotten angry at
hearing words that hadn't meant what he thought.  Sam was smart enough to
know that he had gotten angry and hurt before hearing everything.  Yet
still he had gotten angry and hurt anyways.  It was thinking that Alex
thought that he was a kid even for a second that had hurt him.  Sitting
here in his room thinking about before was starting to make him worried
again and that was how Alex found him as he walked back into the room.



	Alex was good at reading Sam, when they spent most afternoons
together you got to a point where you could read their emotions on their
faces.  So when he walked back in and sat down next to Sam the younger boy
wasn't surprised when Alex said, "still thinking about earlier?"



	Sam nodded his head just slightly, "I started thinking that you
don't really love me."



	Alex put his arm around Sam's shoulders and pulled him in closer
until Sam was resting his head on the older boy's shoulder, "I think you
know that's not true Sam."



	Sam slowly moved then, he wanted Alex to show him that he loved
him.  He moved on top of Alex facing him so that they were sitting on the
floor looking at one another.  He leaned in before Alex leaned over and
kissed the older boy.  It was just a soft touch of lips to lips, a gentle
touch of Alex's hands resting on his legs, Sam's own hands on his
shoulders.  There were a few of these soft slow kisses.  Then he felt one
of Alex's hands slip from his sides to his back, sliding under his shirt
and Sam leaned back in again.  This time the younger boy slipped his tongue
into the older boys mouth.  Twisting slowly with Alex's tongue, feeling the
larger one slide around his smaller, tasting Alex as he felt Alex's hand
now sliding under his shirt to touch Sam's skin.  Sam held onto Alex's
shoulders more as he pressed to the older boy.  He could feel it
constrained in Alex's jeans now, between them.  As Alex's hands both now
caressed Sam's back Sam ran his hand down Alex's front, sliding it between
them resting it on that bulge that Sam could feel.



	Their kiss was becoming more hungry now.  Alex pulled back, sliding
his lips down to caress Sam's neck, as Sam leaned his head back letting the
older boy kiss on his neck.  Sam found the button on Alex's jeans, undoing
it, pulling at the zipper, he slid down a bit on Alex's legs so that he
could pull the jeans open and find him in there.  Alex's penis was pushing
against the constraints of his boxers, he didn't ask Sam what he was doing,
he just let the younger boy do as he wanted.  Sam found the button on the
boxers and pulled at it, pulling the flap open and letting Alex pop out of
his boxers.



	Sam smiled a bit taking in the large dick before him, it was hard
really to believe that this thing had actually fit in his butt and that he
was going to try and take it again.  He reached over, running his hand
along the length of it, in his own jeans he could feel his own penis stiff
and constrained as he touched Alex's.



	Alex said, "lets move up to the bed."



	Sam slipped off of his legs and Alex sat on the edge of the bed
looking at him.  Sam didn't climb up onto the bed with Alex, he stood
there, looking at Alex, then he went on his knees and leaned over as Alex
opened his legs.  Sam reached out touching the older boys much larger
penis, stroking it, pulling it down so that instead of it pointing up he
could guide it to his mouth.  He slid his tongue over the head, it jerked a
bit in his hand.  He felt Alex's fingers on his hair, telling him to take
his time.  Slowly Sam slipped his lips over the head, sliding down onto it
with his mouth.  Alex's fingers playing his hair as he slowly sucked
sliding his mouth down further on the pole relaxed and thrilled him all at
the same time.



	He stroked the rest of the shaft with his hands, running his
fingers over it, holding it tightly as he sucked on the head and his tongue
played with what it could in his mouth.  Alex's fingers still played in
Sam's hair and as Sam pushed a hand into the boxers, finding Alex's balls.
He stroked them running his fingers over them feeling the hairs on the
sack, the shape of the much larger balls as his tongue teased the opening.
Alex's fingers in his hair stopped and the only warning he gave was saying
Sam's name.  "Sam..."



	Sam felt the surge of it, the way that Alex's balls constrained a
bit, how the shaft grew and then that first load of Alex's sticky warm
stuff shot out into Sam's mouth.  He couldn't say it tasted good or even
bad but swallowing the first bit of Alex's stuff always made a part of Sam
proud that he could do it.  It was shooting more into his mouth, filling
him really and there was only so much that could go in that small space
before it would leak out a bit.  He pulled back popping his mouth off of
the head his cheeks filled with the other shots of Alex's load.



	Alex said, "here...."  Sam shook his head and slowly swallowed, it
two three tries and he almost wanted to spit out the last bit but a part of
him was proud of his accomplishment.



	He smiled and said, "all gone."  He opened his mouth just a bit to
show Alex.



	Alex said, "come here!"  He pulled Sam up onto the bed and tickled
his sides making Sam giggle before Alex stopped and instead pulled his
shirt up and off of him.  When Alex's tongue flicked over one of his
nipples the light giggles fully stopped.  Sam gave off a small sigh as he
felt Alex's fingers undoing the button on his own jeans.  Alex's tongue was
sliding along his nipple, running a circle over it as his fingers slipped
into the opening on the jeans running over Sam's own stiff penis.  The
feeling of Alex's fingers playing with him through his underwear sent a
thrill throughout all of Sam's young body.  He shivered a bit with these
feelings as they started to encompass him again.



	He could feel it as Alex began sliding his jeans down, pushing them
down to his ankles, sliding off his sneakers and then the jeans as well.
Then Alex leaned over him again, resting his lips on Sam's lower stomach,
running his tongue over his belly button.  The teens fingers were sliding
over the preteens briefs, running over the shape of his erection with
slight deliberate pressure being pushed along the length.  Then he felt
Alex pulling at his briefs dragging them down until his penis was freed
from the confines.  The feeling of Alex's fingers sliding over his pole
again, taking hold of it gently stroking it sliding the skin back until the
head slid out.  That was when he felt Alex's tongue slide over the head,
gently licking at it a few times before the older boy pushed his lips down
on it, sucking Sam into him.





	Sam rested his hand on Alex's head as the older boy pushed down on
his erection, sucking it, gently applying pressure, his tongue sliding over
the length of it while inside of Alex's mouth.  He felt it then as Alex's
mouth pushed down the older boy's free hand slipped lower, below Sam's
sack, sliding between the cheeks of his bottom.  The feeling of Alex's
fingers there, sliding up to his opening made Sam's eyes widen.  He felt it
as they started to push into him. At first it was just one finger, slick
from the lube that Alex had applied at some point, sliding into his
opening.  Teasing a bit down there.



	When the second finger started to slide in Sam gasped, the feeling
of both going into him as Alex sucked on his penis sent shivers through his
spine.  The fingers tickled something that he hadn't known was there until
that first time, but this time he could feel it more since the fingers
weren't as big as Alex's penis.  He gasped putting his hand on Alex's head,
holding the older boys head by the hair and his other hand rested on his
small bed gripping one of his sheets.  Alex had hit something right there
and it sent these shock-waves through out Sam's body as he felt it happen.



	When he opened his eyes he saw that Alex was pulling off his own
clothes, he smiled at Sam, leaning down and over him to kiss him.  The
feeling of Alex's lips on his own began the building again, the way that
Alex's tongue slowly slipped into his mouth, running over his own, sliding
into it, twisting around it sent shivers down Sam's body.  Alex pulled back
just a bit, "you really want to try this again?"



	Sam nodded and said, "yes."  Alex studied him, kissed him slightly
and took one of Sam's two pillows from behind his head and had Sam lift up
so he could put it under his bottom.  Sam swallowed, watching as Alex moved
into position between his spread legs.  The teenager ran his fingers along
Sam's bottom between the cheeks, sliding them up to the opening again but
not into it.  Then he stroked his own dick, coating it in the lube as well.



	Sam watched as Alex moved into position.  He lay there on his back,
his bottom raised, his legs spread open for up on Alex's waist his feet
pointing up into the air with their socks still on.  As the older boy
slowly pushed his dick between the cheeks below Sam's ball-sack.  They had
tried it this way at first last time, but it had been too tight.  This time
Sam relaxed as much as he could, aware of what was going to happen, wanting
it to happen again.  Alex pushed in and Sam felt it, the thick penis
pushing between his cheeks, sliding deep between them and then making
contact with his opening.



	Sam felt it as Alex pushed, his hands taking hold of Sam by the
waist lifting him a bit as he pushed into him.  Sam relaxed, as best as an
eleven year old being stuffed by a fifteen year old could.  As it pushed in
he gasped a bit, that feeling was there again.  The same one from the last
time.  The feeling that Alex's penis was pushing into him stuffing him up.
It was huge, his butt surrounding it as Alex pushed in again.  Even with
the lube it was not easy, Sam was tight and squeezing a bit.  When the head
made contact again with that same place that Sam had felt the fingers on
his butt he squirmed and pushed back against Alex a bit.



	Alex started to slip out and Sam was afraid that it was over, that
just as it was starting to feel amazing it was done.  Instead Alex pushed
in again after slipping out just a bit.  The push in sent it in deeper and
Sam felt like he was being stuffed but the incredible feelings increased
again.  He whimpered a bit and Alex said, "should I stop? Does it hurt?"



	Sam responded, "no.. no."  It was not hurting that much at all,
something else was happening.  This was like when Alex gave him those good
feelings with his mouth on his penis, but it was like a thousand times
that.  He gasped as Alex pushed in again, as the teens hands held onto
Sam's waist, pushing into him again.  More was inside than last time, and
it was pressing all around him down below.  The feeling of Alex's fingers
stroking his penis as he pushed in again was what Sam felt next.  He gasped
and held tightly onto his bed as Alex pushed into him and stroked him as
well.  His entire body was responding, those fires now burning as bright as
possible.  Sam pushed back against Alex as more slipped into him.



	He put his hand on top of the hand that was stroking his erection
as he squirmed and held onto that hand the only sound Sam could make were
little gasps as his entire body spasmed and he felt it then.  He knew he
said Alex's name, he knew that he felt the loss of Alex inside of him but
he saw Alex's penis still hard and felt it as it rubbed over his sack, the
head pressing against it as Sam's entire body was rocked with his pleasure.
Alex came, his seed shooting onto Sam's balls and penis, coating them with
white spend from the teenager.





*



	Alex slipped out of Sam, unable to take the constraint anymore.
The way that Sam's ass kept squeezing on him, how when he slipped out and
pushed back in just right the little boy under him would squirm and a
little gasp would escape from his lips as his head arched back on the
pillow was enough of a sign for Alex to know that Sam was cumming.  The
orgasm was intense enough that Alex couldn't take it anymore. The feeling
of Sam's butt as it pressed and squeezed on him was too much.  Alex had to
cum and he still didn't want to do it inside of Sam.



	He slipped out as the younger boy sort of collapsed in a mess of
his own orgasm. Alex ran his penis over Sam's small sack, loving the
feeling of it as the head pressed over it and he came, his seed shooting
out onto Sam's balls, over the little boys erect penis and his lower
stomach as well.  Alex fell the exhausted onto the bed beside Sam, almost
falling off of the younger boy's smaller bed.



	After a moment he looked over at Sam, the younger boy's eyes were
closed, his breathing getting a bit slower and deeper.  He lay there on his
bed, his head resting on his Star Wars pillow, the other one under his
bottom, his sheets with their little star wars logos on it, all of it
representing a little boy.  Well Alex felt pretty sure that Sam wasn't a
little boy anymore, a boy sure but little, not so much. He touched Sam's
stomach, slowly sliding his hand up until it rested on Sam's chest.  He
could feel the younger boys heart beating a gentle thumping.



	Sam's hand rested on top of his own and his eyes opened looking at
Alex.  A soft shy smile played on Sam's lips.  Alex touched them with his
own.  Softly Sam said, "that was better than the first time."



	Alex smiled and almost laughed, "yes I'd say it was.  How do you
feel?"



	Sam moved a bit, "it hurts a little bit but not as much as last
time either.  There was this one feeling... like you were..."



	Alex said, "that would be your prostate, I'm pretty sure I was
hitting the back of it just right because of the way we were doing it."

	Sam said, "it felt... all of it, felt so..."  he stopped not able
to find the words.  Alex kissed his lips again and then Sam moved,
snuggling into his arms.  "should we get dressed before my mom comes home?"



	Alex said, "no we're fine for a bit longer, here..."  he reached
across Sam and picked up his radio/alarm clock and set it for two hours.
"Your mom isn't going to be home till after the restaurant closes and
that's at eleven, that gives us two hours to lay here together."



	Sam smiled and turned so that he was facing Alex and then he pushed
at Alex making him lay on his back.  Sam rested his head on Alex's
shoulder, laying sideways one of his legs entwined with one of Alex's.
Alex gently played with the boys hair as Sam snuggled in more.  He liked
that Sam was telling him how he wanted them to lay.  The boy wasn't the
same shy uncertain about taking action kid he had been two months ago.  He
liked to let Alex know what he wanted and Alex knew it was because he had
shown Sam that he could take the lead any time he wanted to as long as it
was just the two of them.



	Sam snuggled more and rested his hand on Alex's chest, is fingers
lightly in the hair.  Alex ran his hand down Sam's back, stroking it.
"Alex?"



	His eyes were closed now and he knew that Sam's were as well. "Yeah
Sam?"



	Sam stopped stroking his chest and softly said, "I wish we could
stay like this forever."



	Alex smiled and stroked the back of Sam's head, his fingers running
through the boys hair, "yeah me too Sam, me too."



	In a soft almost asleep voice Sam said, "I love you Alex."



	"I love you too Sam."  He gently held Sam as sleep finally captured
both of them.  Later they'd wake up, clean up their mess, check on any
damage done, make sure that Sam's room was clean of any signs of what they
had done in there.  They'd welcome Sam's mom home, Alex would go back to
his own house, the next day would come and the future ahead of it that
neither could see yet.  For now though this moment was a perfect moment in
time, a moment never to be forgotten.





END



- -



I honestly reached a point during the thanksgiving area of this part of the
story where I realized the end point wasn't sometime far in the future,
that it was right here before Christmas.  The end point was Sam and Alex
first trying it and then successfully doing the entire thing the second
time.  Them being together happy and complete.  I still don't know how the
final two chapters work. I do think that fifteen shows how even strong kids
sometime just can't take it anymore.  I also think that sixteen shows how
words said and misunderstood by someone can hurt someone they love.  At the
same time both chapters serve as further exploration of what Sam means to
Alex and Alex means to Sam so I figure that they work very well.

What I want honestly is to tell you that I absolutely loved writing this
story and being with Sam and Alex through these times of discovery.
Hopefully you loved reading it.

Where they go next I leave up to your imagination...

As always you can email me if you want: chasodmoe00@gmail.com

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