Date: Tue, 13 May 2008 22:51:14 +0000
From: Xenophon . <xenophon66@hotmail.co.uk>
Subject: Silver Lining, Part 5

Silver Lining
by
Xenophon

Disclaimer: This story involves consensual homosexual acts between
under-age boys. If this offends you, or is illegal for you to view, or you
are too young to read it, leave now and do not return.

This story is entirely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or
dead, or to actual events is entirely coincidental. So there.

If you like this story, please check out my other story "They reach the
sky" in the gay/young-friends section.

Thank you to all those who have sent their comments, feedback and
encouragement on parts 1-4. They mean a great deal, and I really appreciate
them- every single one.



Chapter 10- Alex

"If your soul is aflame like mine, in my heart the morning of bliss is
dawning. Once again a faith in life is penetrating my chest, my love is
about to be assuaged in paradise." VB-S & AD




You're probably imagining I was beating myself up about landing David in
the mire over the whole smoking-revelation balls-up thing, but I wasn't- my
conscience was clear. David invited me round and dragged me into the garden
to smoke with Ben only just above where we were doing so, and hadn't told
me that he'd neglected to tell the boy who shared his room, his bed and
frequently his mouth that he smoked. I mean, come on- surely Ben would have
tasted it on David's breath? Or noticed that David always went outside when
John went to smoke. Or picked up on one of half a dozen other rather
unsubtle clues. While I felt bad for both of them, it was a mess of their
mutual construction- Ben by being blind, infatuated and completely
overreacting and David by being a sneak. My mind thought only of Dan as I
walked home. Of being alone in my house with Dan all afternoon. Of the
possibility Dan might stay the night. Of Dan less than fully-dressed. I was
surprised at how filthy some of my thoughts were- while I really liked Dan,
there was a massive dose of lust involved too. Hey- I was fourteen, what do
you expect?

To my shock, Charlie had recovered sufficiently from her hangover to
actually make it in for college that morning, so the house was well and
truly deserted when I got in. I really wanted to speak to Dan, just to hear
his voice. But he didn't have a mobile (apparently his parents considered
him mature enough to supervise a seven year-old and a nine year-old on his
own, but not to have a mobile phone- as they say across the Pond, go
figure) and calling his house might mean one of his brothers or his sister
answered, and as I had only spoken to him a few hours ago, that might
arouse questions neither of us could answer without stammering or turning a
claret colour. So I waited.

I played my violin for a bit. I was trying to learn a Bach partita (No. 2
in D minor, if you want to know). It was extremely difficult and I was
struggling badly, but I could play bits of it after only a month of daily
practice- small bits, and poorly played, but the piece is a virtuoso
standard which I was nowhere near, so I wasn't too unhappy with
myself. Suddenly I was aware that the doorbell was ringing, and that it
quite possibly wasn't the first time. I checked the clock- I had been
playing for over two hours without realising.

I opened the door to see possibly the most sexy Eskimo I could ever have
imagined. Dan stood outside, wrapped in enough winter clothing to survive a
polar trip, and I couldn't help but laugh as I ushered him in.

"It's two minutes walk, Dan, not Scott's journey to the pole," I said.

"Mum got back from work- she was on a half day- and wouldn't let me go
without this whole get-up. Now that you've had your laugh, can I take it
off?" he said.

"Sure, of course!" I said, and took his winter clothing, leaving him in a
pair of dark jeans that rode low on his hips and hugged his bottom nicely
and a sweatshirt with 'Spurs' on the front. "What's that about?" I asked.

"Err, you really do know nothing about football, don't you?" he said.

"Oh. I thought you supported... wait, give me a sec, I'll get
it... Tottenham," I said, snapping my fingers as I finally remembered. "So
who are the Spurs and why are you supporting them now?"

"Not 'the Spurs', just 'Spurs'. Tottenham are properly called Tottenham
Hotspur- so we're nicknamed Spurs. Chelsea, Arsenal and West Ham fans- who
hate us- call us the Spuds or the Yids- loads of Jewish fans- or even less
polite names," he explained patiently.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm useless when it comes to football. Do you mind?"

"No," he said, smiling his radiant smile. "Actually it's kinda nice- I
mean, we spend half the time at school talking about it, my brothers and
Dad talk to me about it all the time so in a weird way it's nice to talk
about other stuff."

"So... what do you wanna do?" I said.

"Dunno. You wanna watch a DVD or something? That way we can talk and
stuff," he said.

"OK- you're the guest, so you can choose," I said. I led him upstairs to my
room and showed him my (not inconsiderable) collection. I was fairly
predictable- lots of sci-fi, some comedy, the usual American TV shows that
teenagers love and blockbuster films- I was not exactly cultured in my
tastes. "Cool! You got the Battlestar Galactica mini-series? I heard that
was awesome!"

"Yeah, it's really good. Series one just finished on Sky- that's even
better. Can't wait for series two. You wanna watch it?" I said. Little did
he know the new BSG was just about my favourite TV ever- partially because
it was brilliant, partially because I had a bit of a crush on James Callis,
who played Gaius Baltar. Trust me to fancy the geeky odd guy. Not that I
was gonna tell Dan that, of course.

"Yeah, please- I've really wanted to see it but we don't have Sky, and Mum
heard there was quite a bit of sex and violence and doesn't like me
watching that stuff," he said. He looked at the back of the box. "It's
quite long..."

"Don't worry," I said. "If we get bored or you wanna stop, borrow it. I've
seen it loads of times already."

"Thanks. Where's your DVD player?" he said.

"Oh, I thought we could watch it on my computer- the bed's more comfortable
than the couch downstairs, and if The Slut comes back we've got our
privacy," I said.

Dan nodded, and I turned my computer on and started the DVD. Dan sat next
to me on the bed and we started watching. He was so close to me I could
almost feel the warmth of his body. His hand was resting on the bed, inches
from my own. I really wanted to hold his hand, but was scared he'd think
that was too much. I spent about half an hour not really watching the show,
just plucking up the courage to hold his hand. Finally, I slid my hand over
his long fingered, graceful paw. He looked at me, smiled, and held my hand
back. I grinned stupidly at him in adoration. I wanted to be closer to him
still though. I forced myself to relax. That worked for about fifteen
minutes, when I couldn't resist any longer. I moved across so our arms and
legs were touching. He looked at me and smiled again.

"Is this OK?" I asked.

"Yeah," he breathed. "It's nice. It feels good being close like this."

"Dan?" I said a few minutes later.

"Yes?"

"Would you think it's, like, weird if I put an arm around you?"

He grinned. "I thought you'd never ask."

I slid an arm around his lower back and hugged his waist. He put an arm
around my shoulders and held me- not tightly, just firmly enough that I
knew he was there. I rested my head on his shoulder. The show was
completely forgotten for me now- all I did was watch the light of the
screen reflect in his hazel eyes and the glasses that seemed to make him
look so grown-up and sophisticated. I think I had stared at him for about
half an hour when he looked down at me. I smiled at him.

"Are you bored?" he asked.

"No!" I said emphatically. "I could watch you for hours."

He blushed. "Alex, can we talk?"

"About anything," I said.

"Well," he began, "y'know how last night I said I was confused?
About... well, everything really. Well, I... I don't think I said quite
what I mean. I am confused about lots of things- who I really am, what all
this means, whether or not I'm gay... but I'm not confused about others. I
really like you Alex. I think about you all the time. I really like the way
you look. I like the way you talk. I like how you ask me about myself- you
don't just talk about yourself or try to fill quiet with trivia. I like
being with you like this. I want to kiss you whenever I see you. I... I
wanna do the other stuff with you too- y'know... the sex bits- when we're
both ready. I want to be with you Alex, I'm sure of that."

I smiled. "I know. I thought about you ever since last night. I thought
about that story you wrote." He blushed fiercely and began to interrupt
me. "No, let me finish," I said. "That was the sweetest thing anyone's done
in my life. You felt that strongly that you had to write it down, to
express it some way. I know you'd only do that if you liked me a lot. I'm
sorry I turned into such a drama queen last night. I know you like me, and
that it's not just quid pro quo to get off. I wanna be with you too, Dan. I
really like you."

I kissed him softly.

"You don't think the story was lame?" he said.

"Yeah it really was!" I said, laughing. He laughed too. "It was really
sweet, but it was kind of silly too. I just wished we had had the
confidence to tell each other all that stuff and saved ourselves the
trouble."

I kissed him gently. His soft lips felt so perfect against mine. I held the
kiss for a second or so and then put my head back on his shoulder. My one
arm around his waist became two, and his free arm came around to hug my
chest. I leaned further into him. We relaxed and carried on watching the
show for a bit. I found my hand wandering across his belly, gently stroking
him. I looked up at him. He didn't seem bothered by it. My heart pounding,
I slipped my hand under his sweatshirt and started stroking his bare
belly. He looked at me and smiled, and slipped a hand up the back of my
shirt and stroked the skin of my back. His gentle touch was both soothing
and arousing at the same time. I liked touching him so much, and I loved it
when he touched me too.

We ended up watching all three hours of the DVD, just hugging and stroking
each other gently- and by stroking, I mean strictly above the belt. Chest,
face, back, belly and arms were all fondly caressed on both sides, but it
went no further than that. Occasionally we would talk- small talk mainly,
but occasionally a brief endearment would pass between us. I felt so close
to this wonderful boy, and that feeling, to my own astonishment, completely
overrode my lust for his perfect form. I simply wanted to be held and to
hold him. It felt like I was catching up on all the affection I had missed
out on for the last eight years. Inevitably the show came to an
end. Instead of getting up and switching off the computer or starting
another one, we just sat there, cuddled up to one another. I realised sadly
that he was the first person to hold me since I was six years old, and only
the second person to so much as hug me- the first being David. I felt tears
well up at the thought, and they began to course down my cheeks as I cried
silently.

"What's wrong?" Dan asked.

"Nothing," I said. "That's why- I've not been held like this before. No
one's properly hugged me since I was really little. I'm just happy that
you're here."

"Really? Not once?" he asked incredulously.

"No. A couple of matey hugs with David is all since I was orphaned."

"But... your aunt... Alex, what's been going on?"

So I told him everything. How I was little more than a nuisance to Aunt
Jill, how I was nothing but a nuisance to Charlie, how I had felt so lonely
for so long. And how he made me feel better just by being here. I was
crying properly by the time I had finished, and he was sniffing and puffy
eyed too. He held me tighter as the tale wore on. When I had finished he
just held me and repeated "I'm here, Alex, I'm here" and rocked me gently
till I calmed down.

"Can you stay over tonight?" I asked finally. He nodded. "I've never had
anyone over before. I'm glad you're the first."

He simply smiled.

We suddenly heard our stomachs growling at each other, trying to compete
about who was hungrier. I got up and stuck some microwave lasagne on. We
ate watching 'Neighbours', then went upstairs to watch another DVD. I
honestly don't remember what we watched, because I could only think about
being held by Dan the whole time. Charlie came home sober for once and
locked herself in her room without acknowledging my existence. Good. Aunt
Jill came back around ten o'clock, and said 'Hi' through the door before
following it with 'Goodnight' before I could even answer. Dan and I didn't
move from our embrace between the end of 'Neighbours' at six till we got
tired around eleven, except to change discs once and to pee a couple of
times.

"So, where am I sleeping?" Dan asked as I shut the computer down.

"Well, I do have a double bed, but if you'd prefer the spare room..."

"Your bed's good," he said firmly.

I went into the bathroom to wash and brush my teeth, then Dan did the
same. When he came back in, both of us looked nervous, knowing undressing
was the next step.

"Dan, would you do something for me?" I said.

"Sure, what?"

"Well, would you watch me undress?" I said.

"You want me to? Not that I'd hesitate to say yes, but... y'know... last
night you seemed..."

"That's why," I said. I needed this badly. "You made me feel... I don't
know... like maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought I was. If you watch me
undress, I think it might do the same- y'know, make me feel..."

"Desirable?" he supplied.

"Yeah, like I might really be worth anyone's attention- your attention."

"I was going to watch you anyway," he said, smiling.

I took a deep breath and started to strip. Dan say on the bed, watching my
every move. As I pulled my socks off, I saw his eyes run over my feet and
ankles. When I pulled off my shirt, his eyes swept my chest, focusing
particularly on my nipples. When I took off my jeans, his gaze swept up and
down my slender legs, before settling at the small bulge in my briefs. I
took another deep breath, and dropped my underwear. I saw Dan's ribcage
move faster, and his eyes were fixed on my groin. I saw him unconsciously
rearrange himself through his jeans, obviously aroused. I blushed, but
found my own penis responding to his gaze, rising as he stared at me. It
felt good to have him watch me so intently, and to see his unconscious
appreciation. I did a little twirl so he could see me from behind, wiggling
my bottom at him as I faced away from him.

"Earth to Dan," I said, as I saw his face again as I turned back around. He
looked totally vacant- fixated on my form. I was immensely aroused by his
obvious attraction. He couldn't fake that- he really did like me. The
feeling of being wanted was such a wonderful thing- I cannot put it into
words.

"Huh? Oh, Alex, you're... you look so good..." he stammered.

"Thank you. Would... would you do the same for me?" I asked. Dan almost
leapt off the bed, and I took his place to watch him expose that perfect
form which I desired so much.

He slipped his socks off, and I saw the graceful arches of his feet once
again. He pulled his top off and I ran my eyes over the excellent specimen
of adolescent maleness he exposed. His brown nipples were perfectly round
and I longed to kiss and caress them. He had small tufts of hair in his
armpits and nowhere else on his torso- not even a little snail-trail
leading down from his innie belly button. His arms were slender but not
skinny, and there wasn't an inch of fat on him anywhere. He dropped his
jeans, and I once again saw those slender but powerful legs. I longed to
stroke the dusting of black hair on his calves, but that slipped from my
mind when I saw the tent in his black briefs. I was enraptured. By this
time, I was totally aroused, and I sat naked on the edge of my bed with my
own erection exposed. Now it was his turn. He dropped his briefs and I saw
him erect for the first time.

I don't think there has ever been a more magnificent sight than Dan naked
and erect. Forget Victoria Falls, forget the Serengeti migration, all I
ever want to see is him. His pubic hair was very dark and formed a small
fan rising from the base of his cock. His scrotum hung quite loose even
when he was hard, and I could see each perfect testicle clearly in his
lightly haired sack. His instrument itself was a thing of wonder. His
perfectly cut five inch tool rose straight at a 45 degree angle from his
groin, and his dark purple head was flared and mushroom shaped. I longed to
take him all into my mouth.

"Do... do I look OK?" Dan asked after I had been silent for a while.

"Oh yeah..." I said, not able to coherently speak. He walked closer to me.

"Alex, we don't have to do anything if you don't want..." he began. I
didn't let him finish. I got up and walked over to him, looking his face.

"Stop talking," I said, and kissed him properly, standing on tiptoes and
pulling him down to me.

We ran our hands over each other's exposed skin. Before long, I had
wandered my hands down his back and began to squeeze his pert, firm
buttocks. He broke our kiss and smiled at me. I smiled back, and kissed his
chest. I slowly pulled him over to my bed. I found myself more aroused than
I thought was possible. We lay down side by side on the bed, and began
kissing and exploring each other's bodies again. In this position, our
cocks began to rub against each other, and we began moaning softly at the
new sensations. I could stand it no longer, and pushed him down so he lay
on his back. I kissed quickly down his chest, licking each nipple on the
way, and ran my tongue around his belly button, before moving down and
seeing his penis up close for the first time. It looked even better this
close. I could smell his musk as well, and he smelt so good- all
masculinity and heat. He touched my cheek, making me look at his face.

"You don't have to do this," he said.

"I want to, Dan- I... like you so much, I want to make you feel
good. And... this fella here looks so good, I just have to taste him," I
said, and without waiting for a reply, sucked him into my mouth.

I initially tried to take him whole, but quickly realised that wasn't
possible and had to pull back quickly to avoid gagging hard, and I caught
the flared rim of his helmet with my teeth. He sucked in his breath
sharply.

"Sorry," I said. "I'll be more careful."

"Just take a little at first- go slow," he said, smiling reassuringly at me
and stroking my face.

I took it more slowly after that, starting with just his head and moving
slowly down as far as I could comfortably go. I began to lick around his
glans and tasted some of his precum. I decided I liked it. I slowly learned
what I was doing, and after about five minutes of Dan's gentle instruction
of what felt good, I was really getting into it. I had desperately wanted
this, but had been nervous as hell about the whole thing. Dan's gentleness
and patience relaxed me and I found I loved doing this- even more than I'd
imagined. Dan began to get more into it too, moaning softly and stroking my
hair faster. It didn't take him long to rise towards orgasm.

"Alex, I'm gonna cum," he said. "Back off."

I ignored him- he'd taken me, I'd take him. I pulled back to focus only on
his head with my mouth, and wanked his shaft fast with one hand while I
fondled his balls with the other. He shook, his dick spasmed and he
produced four watery spurts on my tongue. I choked a bit, and some leaked
out of the side of my mouth, but he tasted really good.

"Alex, that was great," he said when he came back down off the ceiling.

"Really? It wasn't, y'know, really clumsy?" I said, snuggling up to
him. For some reason I had lost my own erection, I noticed.

"Yeah, it really was," he said with a smile and a tightening of our
embrace, "but it's the first time anyone's done that to me, so it was
awesome, and it was your first time, so it was special, and you'll get
better as we practice."

I smiled back at him. I knew he was just being honest- being himself- and
his body language, his hug and his face told me that he had still enjoyed
it despite my ineptitude.

"Good, I really liked doing it," I said.

"So, you do wanna do this again, right? I mean, y'know, spend time together
and the other 'stuff'?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"Are you kidding? I can't think of anything I want more," I said, squeezing
him and kissing his lips.

"I can," he said, looking serious. My heart fell.

"What?" I asked.

"Watching Tottenham beat Arsenal in the FA Cup final!" he said. It took a
moment and a look at the huge grin on his face to work out he was pulling
my leg. I wasn't going to let him get away with that!

"Oh, so I'm gonna be a football widow am I? Every Saturday you'll disappear
to go and watch twenty-two fit but ugly men chase a pig's bladder?" I had
climbed on top of him and was pretending to wrestle him. He rolled me onto
my back, lightly pressing on top of me. I suddenly noticed we were both
naked.

"Sorry Alex, I was joking. Can I make it up to you?" he said, still
grinning. I think I knew what he had in mind.

"Yes, but only one way," I said, putting on the filthiest grin I could.

"Name it."

I stopped smiling, letting him know I was serious. "Accompany me at the
concert."

"Huh?"

"Not what you were expecting me to say?"

"Well, no, from the look on your face I thought you were going to ask me to
stay naked all tomorrow or something," he said.

I leered at him, and he blushed. "Well, that's an idea too," I said, then
laughed. "Dan, I really like you, but I know there's a big bunch of lust in
what I feel. I... I don't just wanna get off with people. That's what
Charlie does, and it makes me sick. I want someone to be close to- someone
I can stop pretending in front of. If you don't want that..."

"I do," he said simply, cutting me off. "That's why I first liked you-
well, after thinking you looked really cute and had a really nice arse,
anyway- you never seem to judge people, even when they deserve it. And
yeah, before you ask, I do mean Malcolm. I almost felt like I could be
myself with you, even when we had just met. I wanted to get to know you
better and see if I was right. I like how... y'know, 'stuff' feels, but the
other stuff matters more. Are you asking me because you wanna hear me play,
or to spend time with me- with my clothes on?"

"Both."

"Look, I'll do a deal," he said. "You show me the part, I'll see if I can
play it on my own, we can try it together, and if you think we can make it
sound good- well, not sound bollocks anyway- we can do it. If it doesn't
work, we've still spent the time together and you can get Bumble or one of
the proper musicians to play it. Cool?"

"OK- but I can't imagine you'd be able to play it badly," I said.

"Why not? You've only heard me, what, twice?" he asked. I nodded. "So why
do you think I'd be any good?"

"Cos you have such nice hands," I said. He laughed and blushed. "Sorry,
that was stupid."

"No, it was sweet," he said, and kissed me to prove he thought so. "Kinda
gay, but sweet."

"I think that cat's out of the bag, dude," I said.

I was smiling, but inside I was upset. He hadn't intended it, I was sure,
but he had just reinforced my insecurities about him not knowing if he was
gay or not. How could he not? Did he like girls or not? If he did, fine, at
least I knew he was bi. Not being sure made me feel like I might suddenly
lose the first person to hold me- not because I did something wrong, but
because I didn't have breasts. I mentally shook my head- this was my
insecurity, and if I really did like Dan as much as I thought I did, I
could wait a long time for him to work out 'who he was', as he put it. In
truth, what was irking me is that I wanted to ask if we were boyfriends
now, but thought that would confuse or even piss him off, so didn't ask.

"Yeah, but if the whole school didn't know, and you hadn't..." he blushed
and broke off.

"What, got a stiffy watching you strip, kissed you and sucked your dick,
'you could never tell'?" I said. He nodded. "Dude, your gaydar's as bad as
mine. David had me picked up in about fifteen microseconds and you in about
half a second longer and even had an inking about Ben in the first few
hours," I said.

Oh... fuck... me! I'd done it again! Twice in one day!

"What?!?" Dan said, propping himself up on one elbow. "Ben? You mean, the
kid he's sharing a room with? The pale kid with really dark hair?" I
nodded. "Alex, are you telling me that David... and Ben... are, like..."

I felt tears in my eyes. I had really done it now.

"I shouldn't have said that," I said. "Can you forget I said anything?"

"Not really," he said. "I don't understand. David's like, fifteen, butch
and sort of scary if you don't know him. Ben's twelve, always looked like a
bit of a geek- not that geeks aren't cute, Alex- you're gorgeous, and
anyway I'm one myself- but, y'know... how does that work? And aren't they
sort of brothers"

I sighed. This looked really bad, and the only way to make it look not-bad
was to explain. "Tell anyone this, and we're finished. Not your family, not
any of the others, no nifty stories about it. I mean it Dan- if I lose
David as a friend..." I stopped, because I was choking up.

"I won't tell a soul- I promise," he said. I nodded.

"First, they'd never met before David got orphaned, they have no shared
blood, and David's not been adopted and won't ever be, so they aren't,
never have been and never will be brothers or anything like that. Clear?"
Dan nodded. "Well, you remember I just mentioned that orphaning thing? That
shit hurts. Still hurts me a bit even though I was so little. Imagine if
you lost both your parents tomorrow, then two weeks later had to go live
with virtual strangers."

"Alex, why're you getting pissed off at me?" Dan said. "It's not my fault
that stuff happened."

I sighed. "You're right, I shouldn't be snappy." I took a deep breath and
carried on. "OK, so basically first day, David's feeling bollocks- fair
enough. But David being David, he's gone from being pissed at his new
guardians to feeling guilty about intruding, particularly on Ben. Ben makes
him feel really welcome- even makes this stupid sign to put on the door,
saying how it's both their bedroom. David has some kind of spaz out and Ben
starts comforting him." I paused. "There's something you might not get
about David- in some ways he's really grown up, in some ways he's the
youngest member of our little group. Ben acts way older than he is, and
he's not trying to be all grown up, he's just like that. And he is cute- a
bit young, maybe, but still cute. David checks him out a bit, then starts
thinking Ben's checking him out back. The inevitable happens, they see each
other naked, check each other out more openly. First night, and for most
nights for a while- he still does it now sometimes- David has a complete
breakdown at bedtime. Crying, sobbing, shaking- totally out of control. Ben
can't bear to see him like that, so hugs him. I mean, this younger kid
holds David like a real tiny child until he recovers and goes to
sleep. This happens again, only this time David accidentally kisses Ben. He
has this massive guilt-trip over it, spazzes out again, then jumps out of
the closet. Turns out Ben's thought he's gay too, and guesses that David
fancies him. David's not with it enough to lie. Ben then says he fancies
him back. So they get it together. You want details, be friends with David
or Ben ask them, that's not my place to say- but Ben very much wears the
trousers in that couple. He's not letting David do anything he doesn't
want, and he's got David wrapped around his little finger- and David
doesn't notice and I don't think would mind if he did." I paused for
breath, then grimaced. "Although they had a big row today, which was mainly
David's fault, a bit less Ben's fault and a little bit mine- I was the
spark which lit the fuse, I guess. I hope they sort it out. They really
love each other."

Dan was silent for quite a while. Finally, I couldn't take the silence.

"Talk to me," I said.

"Sorry, I was thinking," he said with a frown. "They really love each
other?"

"Yes Daniel, they really do," I said, deliberately not using the
diminutive. "David would probably start cut off his own arm or something
even harder like join the Johnny Wilkinson fan club if Ben asked. Ben does
all these little things to make David feel good, like wear David's Wales
shirt to his rugby matches to support him and learn this dumb song that
David's mum used to sing to him when he was little and upset so he can sing
it to him when he gets upset now. He's a total sweetheart."

Dan thought for a minute, then spoke. "Then that's fucking amazing."

"Yeah, innit though?" I said, failing to keep a hint of longing out of my
voice despite my best efforts.

"You jealous of Ben?" Dan asked.

"No, how many times do I have to tell you, I don't fancy David, never have,
never will- I fancy you," I said, sounding just that little bit pissed
enough to let him know that I was serious but not so much that he thought I
was lying or annoyed at him.

"Then what?" he said.

"What do you mean, 'then what'? I was agreeing with you.

"And I'm the Pope. You wouldn't say it like that if you were just
agreeing," he pressed.

"Can we not talk about it?" I said.

"What happened to honesty?"

"I am being honest, but I don't want my fucked up head to fuck us up, for
fuck's sake," I said.

"Calm down, Alex, no need to swear so much," he said, taken aback.

"I'm really sorry Dan, I shouldn't've said that," I said. "OK, you want the
truth?" He nodded. "I'm not jealous of Ben, or of David- I'm jealous of
'DavidandBen'."

"Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh'."

"We're like, starting out that way though, aren't we?" he asked, sounding
like he needed reassurance.

"Honesty again?" I asked. He nodded. "I don't know- I want to. I really
like you and I think..." I nearly said "I think I might fall in love with
you", but that was too much pressure on him to love me back. So instead, I
said: "...I think we might work- y'know, together. But... OK, I've been
honest with you loads, so can you be honest with me?"

"Sure."

Deep breath, Alex, don't get this wrong. "You fancy boys? You fancy me and
you've fancied others, right?"

"Yeah."

"Have you ever fancied a girl?" I asked.

"Well... no, but... they sort of look nice, don't they?"

"Dan, kittens look nice, flowers look nice. Do you wank thinking about
girls? Do you get horny looking at naked women on the net or TV? Have you
ever got that funny feeling for a girl- y'know when you feel your heart get
faster, your stomach starts doing somersaults and you can't talk in
coherent sentences- have you got that for a girl? Ever?"

He thought long and hard. "No."

"To all of it?"

"To all of it."

"So why aren't you sure you're gay?"

"Why does it matter? I've told you I really like you- I'm not gonna
suddenly go off you," he said. He sounded royally pissed off.

"That's why I didn't wanna talk about it- cos you'd get angry, I know why,
and I know you're right to and I'm being a prick, and I've let you down,
and you've realised I'm not who you thought I was..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Alex, back the fuck up," Dan interrupted. "I'm annoyed
yeah, but most of that was way over the top. You're not being a prick,
you're not letting me down, you're not... I can't be arsed to go through
each one- relax, OK? Why is it so important?"

I bit my lip. I was crying now. I told him.

"Alex, I don't think a bat sitting on your face would have heard that," he
said, trying to cheer me up with a feeble joke, letting me know he was
annoyed but not angry. "Can you say it so I can hear?"

"Because I want to be your boyfriend," I whispered, barely loud enough for
him to hear.

He blinked. "I thought you were."

I looked at him. He looked genuinely confused. "Huh?"

"I thought that was what all this was about- I thought we got together
again today because we were boyfriends now."

I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, kissed him
hard, and pulled him on top of me. I grunted as he lost his balance and
crushed me a bit, but I didn't care. He was my boyfriend!

He gently extricated himself from my mouth, and I chuckled softly. "So
that's what this is about? You thought... oh shit Alex, sorry. That gay
line earlier made you think... and because I'm not sure about
myself... bollocks. My cock-up. Look, I'm not sure if I only fancy guys and
if I will ever fancy a bird, but right now, I know, one hundred per cent, I
want to be your boyfriend."

"Then you can never be sure if you're gay, and I won't care- as long as
we're boyfriends, the world's cool." I meant it too. I really did need to
scrub 'Welcome' off my forehead and stop being a doormat, but at that
moment I couldn't be happier.

"Then that's all fixed then? We OK?" I nodded. "Then how about I show you
how much I want to be your boyfriends?" He said it with a leer that made me
blush.

"Dan, I'd love to, but can we just sleep? I'm a bit tired, and not really
in the mood this second."

"OK, whatever you want," he said.

I turned the lights off, and we snuggled up in the middle of my bed. He lay
on his back while I cuddled up to him on my side. He wrapped his arms
around me. I rested my head on his shoulder, and felt myself begin to fall
asleep.

"Alex?" he whispered.

"'sup?" I slurred.

"Never mind, if you're nearly asleep..."

"No, go on," I said. I wasn't the slightest bit asleep now, and I didn't
mind.

"Have you... when was... fuck it, doesn't matter."

"What?"

"Forget it."

"Dan, tell me or I'll shave your eyebrows off in the night."

"When was the last time you did this?" he asked after a pause.

"I've never done this before, muppet. I didn't think you had either."

"You know what I mean- slept close to someone, even if it's a different
bed."

"I don't remember. Never, probably. Maybe my parents' bed when I was tiny
and I can't remember, but I can't think of a single time. Why?"

"No reason. I just wondered." He paused, and I began to drift off
again. "Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"I never want you to be lonely again. Any time you want me here, or you
wanna come to mine- as long as you don't mind putting up with the
littl'uns- call me, and it'll happen straight away. I can't stand the
thought of you being lonely."

I shed a tear or two. That was possibly the nicest thing anyone had ever
said to me. I felt the tears drip onto his chest, and kissed where they
landed.

"Thank you, I will."

"Goodnight Alex."

"Goodnight Daniel."

I fell asleep feeling more alive than I ever had before.




This is Alex's last chapter. His story his nearly at an end, and the
remaining parts David will tell in the next, final chapter. Yes, after the
either the next instalment 'Silver Lining' will end. I hope I can send it
out on a high note- literally...

Feedback, comments and suggestions are always welcome and greatly
appreciated. I can be emailed at

xenophon66@hotmail.co.uk