Date: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 23:59:34 -0500 From: Koshka Subject: South Of The Country, West Of The Sun 2 Don't read this if it offends you. Don't read this if it is illegal to do so. Some of this is fictional. Some of this is autobiographical. I'm happy for any and all mail - questions, comments, critiques. English isn't my first or even my second language, so be kind. Enjoy! ***** It was sunny, like most April days. Really like most days in general. I lived in the south of the country, where weeks could pass without a single cloud to interrupt the sunshine. We'd lived there since about my eleventh birthday, so for about two years, but somehow my body seemed to reject the environment into which it'd been displaced. Even in the summer months my skin refused to tan and the heat always exhausted me in the afternoon. Neither Max nor I had said a word since we'd arrived at the beach. We abandoned our shirts and shoes and left them in his car and walked beside one another up the windy strand side-by-side. It was a week and a day since he'd taken my virginity. Since then we had slept together on three more occasions: the next morning, Tuesday after one of my soccer games and Wednesday night while Max' parents were out to dinner. Despite what I'd read online, the pain hadn't gone away - it was still brutal and nearly unbearable - but already sex had become more natural between us. Now when we made love all of my body moved with his. There was an exhilaration to that newly-discovered freedom and confidence. And the pleasure, oh the pleasure. But despite the strides I had made sexually - or perhaps more accurately because of them - I still felt so confused. Every second of our walk beside the waves was for me an act of self-control. The natural inclination within me was to reach out and take Max' hand in mine, perhaps wrap myself around his arm or his waist. I longed for that proximity, but I knew I'd only be denied if I tried, so I resisted the urge, even scolded myself mentally for keeping such silly ideas in my head. But were they really so silly? I was in love, wasn't I? Isn't that the sort of thing that lovers do? "You ever been here before?" Max asked me as we drew nearer to a rocky section of the beach. It seemed that the further we walked, the number of people around declined. "Nope." He smiled. We walked another few minutes, talked about nothing in particular. At some point during our idle conversation Max wrapped an arm about my waist and very gently pulled me against his side; I was all-too-happy to oblige. I leaned myself into him and wrapped both arms around his midsection, rested my cheek against his chest and enjoyed the warmth of his skin against mine. We continued walking in that peculiar tanged-up way. And although I knew that I was only receiving that affection because we had reached a section of beach uninhabited by other people, I still reveled in it. Still, I couldn't shake all those confusions. The thought of what my parents would think if they knew about us nagged at the back of my mind. They had never once given me reason to believe that they would ever be cruel to me even if I were to come out as gay. But would they still love me the same way after my confession as before? Would they treat me ay differently? I didn't know the answer. And moreover, I didn't even know if 'gay' was the right word for me. So I'd been attracted to a handful of the older boys at school. Did that make me gay? Would I be that way forever? More questions without answers. Thinking about all of it just made my head ache; what a silly way to waste a beautiful moment. I a breath and inhaled Max' scent, put all those confusing thoughts out of my head and decided just to enjoy the present. We shambled ever-forward and I let myself relax against Max' body. "Where are we, anyway?" I asked when I realized how long it had been since I'd seen any other people. "Somewhere secret", Max replied. "Most people never come down this way since it's pretty much all rocks, but I wanted to show you something." "What?" "You'll see." "Tell me!" "Patience is a virtue", he replied with a wink. "You'll just have to wait and see." He knew I wasn't a great lover of surprises, yet he always insisted on giving them to me. Usually they were small: little folded notes hidden in my locker, my favorite candies left on my desk for me to find, text messages during class or late at night before I fell asleep. Sometimes - quite often lately - we would meet between periods or he'd ditch class during my lunch hour and we'd sneak away to the bathroom or some dark corner for kisses and closeness. What today's surprise could be, I had no clue. This part of the strand was mostly stone. We stepped over them gingerly, placed our feet in all the sandy parts between the rocks until suddenly we came upon a clear area of soft golden sand. Strewn at the center of it was an enormous blanket, some pillows and a basket on top, far enough from the water to have stayed dry. "Ta-duh." A smile consumed my face. "W-what is that?" "A picnic. Don't they have those in that sad little country you came from?" "We do!" I replied and gave him a playful shove. "Probably not like this one." He gave me another wink. Perplexed but intrigued, I jogged over and crawled onto the blanket. I opened the basket and immediately my cheeks went rosy. Max laughed as he sat down beside me. "Told ya." "You can't be serious..." Inside the basket were a few towels and a new jar of Vaseline. Oh, two water bottles and an apple as well; nobody could say that he didn't have a sense of humor. "What? You aren't hungry?" I wanted to scold him about how dangerous this was - that would have been the rational thing to do, and I considered myself even then to be a very rational boy - but the words got lost before they ever left my mouth. My body was already shivering with the expectation of what was to come. "Max... there's no way", I protested so weakly that I wondered why I was even wasting my breath. "We're outside and it's sunny! A-Anyone could see us!" "Lucky them", he shrugged. "Max!" "Lighten up, beautiful. Nobody ever comes down this way." We had only ever made love in the safety of his bedroom. I had the urge to protest further, but my rationale was very nearly spent. My desire, on the other hand, had wound through every inch of my body. And four of those inches were trying their hardest to poke a hole through my swim shorts. "You know what you want", Max whispered into my ear from behind me. One of his hands was on the inner of my thigh, so slowly rubbing upward. The one ran through my hair and drew me closer to him. I whimpered. "Max..." The hand in my hair slid down my neck, over my chest and belly. Both hands found their way to my waistband and without any resistance on my part, he removed my swim shorts. The sensation of my nudity bathed in the contrast of hot April sun and cool ocean air was nicer than I could have imagined. I was nude and exposed, my privates so rigid from the thrill and desire that it was nearly painful. "Tell me what you want." "Max!" I groaned, embarrassed. He pushed me onto my back and removed his swim shorts. His hardness was as rigid as mine, although twice as large. A tiny diamond of white fluid was already spilling from the swollen head. "Tell me", he repeated. "Max... p-please..." He moved himself above me, kissed along my neck. "Tell me." "P-p-please fuck me", I mumbled. Shame and lust overwhelmed me. Any fear or rationale I had had was gone. All the remained was that desire, that desperate need for him to make a mess of me. My whole body trembled and ached. "One more time. Louder." "Please fu--" I began, but before I could finish he pushed his whole body against mine and forced his hardness into me. I screamed from pain and surprise. He kissed me hungrily as the rest of him slid into me, so deep inside that I swore I could feel him throbbing in my belly. My movements followed the instinctive pattern: my slender thighs wrapped around his waist, I grabbed at his back and his hair. Without breaking the kiss, his hips began to move. I moaned into his mouth. "Oh Max, p-please fuck me", I whimpered and groaned. I repeated it again and again and again. There was a wild, naughty pleasure in begging for it. And it seemed to drive Max crazy as well; the more I begged, the harder and faster his thrusts. He pounded me in the hot April sun and the cool ocean air for what felt like an eternity. As usual, his tempo never slowed or softened, it only grew wilder. Before long he was boring into me with such violence that had me moaning and screaming and crying. I couldn't explain how something could be so agonizing yet simultaneously so very, very pleasurable. Within a few minutes my hardness spilled my seed all over my belly, chest and even my face. But Max kept going like an animal, regardless of the sounds that came from my mouth. He would drive me to orgasm twice more before finally achieving his own. And when he came, I swore that I could feel it flood the inside of me. It was felt so good in a way I couldn't make sense of and even after he pulled out of me, rolled onto his back and cuddled my limp, exhausted body on top of his, I felt a strange sense of pride in knowing that he had left some of himself within me. After that, the two of us simply snuggled up beneath the sun and listened to the sound of the waves crashing against the beach. For a while I even dozed off. When I woke and regathered my senses, I was still safe and warm and nude atop Max' chest with his arms around me. The sun was setting. The sky was dark, the horizon burned and the ocean surface was alight with fiery reds and oranges. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced in my life until that point. So beautiful that I felt I had to weep or sing, but instead I just spoke. "I love you Max", I whispered almost inaudibly. I still hadn't worked out any of the confusion in my head and saying such serious things was still so difficult for me, but this time the words spilled from my mouth effortlessly. He ran his fingers once through my hair, squeezed me softly. "I love you too."