Date: Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:00:04 -0500 From: Tim Stillman Subject: Speaking the Love Word Speaking the Love Word By Timothy Stillman (to Joel, because he is my life, you see) He came to me in the star spangled spring night air. So warm was he and his penis had heft and was as pink as coral. It was sticking straight out and he said, please suck it for me. I, as in a lazy sweet dream, took it in my mouth, and it tasted so warm and hard and full of life. He took my hand, touched my hand, and we were gossamer together, as I knelt down before him, and suckled him. He put his hands to the back of my head, tousled my hair and pushed my head gently back and forth. We were naked and we were young. He reached to my head top, and he sighed, and the whole world sighed with him. He was happy, and the whole world, and I were happy too. There were no footsteps, no years, no hallways to run down, and no doors to open and rush out of. My penis, not as large as his, though in actuality his was not that large, felt the rush of my hands, as I put them on it and on my balls and then on his penis and on his balls. He felt so excruciatingly warm, and thin and slight and a dream and a memory and reality standing right there before me. "Suck me, Barry. Oh, yes...that feels excellent." I put my tongue to his penis tip, I felt all of it with my tongue, and the night was our chessboard; the game, it and ours to play, was no game. He lay me down and then lay beside me and stroked my cheek with his moist soft hands. I kissed his eyes as he closed them. I said, "Be me and let me be you and we will never part." He said, "I can't. And we will part." And his knowing smile was sad as mine, as we lay on the green warm dewy spring ground and there was silence, save the beatings of our one heart. And I kissed him. His lips were soft and warm and giving and generous and he took my tongue into his mouth, pulled it in with fragrant clove gum breath, and I entered my tongue into his mouth and it was there never to leave. We were close. Our penises felt against each other. He turned on his stomach and I watched his hard penis dip to the ground, which was so incredibly sexual and made me harder than ever; made my nuts tighter and drawn up more even, and I kissed his shoulders and he trilled. And I kissed the spine of him and he was as if on a sea of green grass and trembled. I took my virgin penis and put it on his back and rubbed it there on all that small warmth. I felt salvation here. I felt the night bend down and glow my friend golden. A golden there had never been before. And he giggled and I lay my penis tip then the all of it on his back, moving it down from shoulders to further down, to the small of his back. He said, "I am in a warm bath, and younger than I am, and you are in the bath with me." And I leaned down and kissed the top of his head and he raised up and kissed me on the lips. Whatever kisses I will receive down the line, if any at all, from anyone else, will make me hunger for this moment, and ache inside that I will not be able to recall myself to here. He took my penis in his mouth and he sucked me to the root and I screamed a bit and he bit it a bit, and he held my balls and then kissed them, and took them in his mouth, both at the same time. I looked at this beautiful boy holding my penis and I wanted to weep. He was the one, the enigma I had lived for. He was that clue that made everything make sense. I was held in his arms, and I held him and we kissed each other's cheeks, and I bent down and blew him and he came in my mouth and it was a fount of delights too numerous to mention, a bouquet of sexuality that initiated me into knowing the night was so very young, and time and life so very unforgiving, and ourselves so very fragile and tiny. I felt the ribs of him and the sides of him and his beginning pubic hair and I ran my finger down his ass cheeks and they were creamy to texture of taste and touch. "Don't leave me," I said after a good long time of relishing him and this arch of triumph of boyhood, sheltering it down my throat and feeling it warm and moving and alive and comforting inside my stomach. I vowed to keep it there forever. "You are a romantic, " he said, "just be happy with now." "But now is yesterday. Saying just be happy with now is already in the past, for both of us. He said, "I want to fuck you, Barry." This was for me and me alone. He said he wanted to FUCK ME, BARRY. God, I was so turned unbelievably on. Oh yes I told him, breathless, oh yes. As we knelt before each other, exploring each other's bodies, tweaking each other's tits hard and strong, touching rib cages and legs and chests and reveling in the meshing together of each other's flesh, so real, so perfect, we could even see each other's pores, it was that sharp and distinct. I turned over on my stomach, offering him, now, without a word, my ass. He said, "Here, get on your knees. It's easier that way." And I got on my knees, penis so tight it hurt and seed ready to come without my even touching it, and he put his dick at my ass, first he kissed my ass, opened it with his tongue and pushed that tickling tongue inside me, and I rushed myself forward and came white jism all over the grass and I heaved sperm out and had never had that much ejaculation before, as he held me from the back, and let me cry, because he, with his head on my back, was crying also. We stayed that way for a time, as if playing "Statues." He holding me. My body and penis quivery. And then he slowly entered me, very slowly by gradations, so it would hurt less, and he stopped at each pain and let me get used to it, and finally after a long while of this, he was totally in me and it hurt yes but it felt so very good, so very beautiful yes and he was like an elf found me and never to let me go, as I stayed on my shaky knees and he pushed in and out of my bare ass and he put his hands on my back, and steadied himself, slipping out at one point, then we laughed, and he put it back in again, and it was serious and manly and beautiful and all the world I ever would want to know. He put himself in me and that was an imprint I, had molded inside me his penis and it would always be there; I would never lose, even when I lost him. And he fucked me and I said fuck me fuck me oh please fuck my ass fuck me hard god oh yes stick it in me. And he drove it in harder and harder, and fell to my back as he tried to put himself into me entirely and his face and body were so sweaty against mine, and he asked me in bated breath, "Do I come in you?" And I said, in broken words and broken heart, "yes, please." And he came and I fell on my tummy and he fell on me and he came inside me, and the hot lusty heat of us both collapsed, and it dribbled down between my legs and it felt molten and it felt like silver fire from the heavens and he just shot and shot and rammed me over and again, and I managed to get out "I love you. I love your being in my asshole. I love you. God." And as he stroked my face and lay on me until his penis shriveled; the initial going away from me; do not cry, I told myself, do not cry again; then he moved off of me, and lay beside me and our stomachs hurt and we were breathing so hard, our bodies were collapsing and resounding and echoing the stars in the spring night air and we put arms around each other and we lay on our stomachs and it was so beautiful, lying there with him, the most beautiful boy in the world, and me. And I said, full out, nothing tentative, this time I was brave. I can't imagine how brave I was then at that moment. I have never been so, since. I said the love word again. And he said the love word too. And we kissed and I knew he was lying, but to make me feel even more comforted. I thought him so brave and noble for saying that, then. I no longer think him so.