Date: Wed, 15 Jan 2003 22:40:33 +0100 From: Dominic Subject: Stigmatized part 1 ***************************************************************** WARNING: This story may contain scenes that include gay sex between teen boys and/ or adults. If this offends you in any way, please don't read any further and just leave. If you are under the age of 18 or in some states or countries 21, it may be illegal for you to read this. ----------------------------------------------------------------- This is the first real story I am writing. I hope you like it and I would be very pleased if you send me feedback or criticism on my work. This time it may not contain sex, but that is not the true meaning of the story. But of course, sex will be involved later on, at least, if you want me to continue it. I hope my grammar and spelling is mostly correct. All comments to: dmx@gayworld.be , I would really appreciate them. Thx :) -X- D. ***************************************************************** Stigmatized Part 1: My life so far by Dominic He did it again... Every time it seemed to happen for no reason at all. He came home drunk as usual and walked up the stairs, to my room, cursing and swearing. Most of the time I just lay there, awake, waiting for it to happen, just thinking about how bad it would be this time and fearing him. At school I felt like everybody knew about it, although nobody said a word about it. At fourteen, I was a quiet boy, very introverted and I didn't have a lots of friends. I didn't want to be that way, but I couldn't deal with it otherwise. I mostly just wanted to be left alone, certainly by my father. We used to be a happy family, but three years ago all of that changed. My mother became ill, and four days before my eleventh birthday, she passed away because of cancer. My father had to take care of me from than on, but he couldn't. All the years before, I only saw him during some weekends or holidays, because he worked for a major research company. He had to travel around the globe from one country to another, so he wasn't home that much. I never felt really connected to my father the way I was to my mother, and all of the sudden, he had to take care of me. He quit his job and started to work in a laboratory, close to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where we lived. His temper started to change. Before, he was a nice person, he brought me gifts and played baseball with me, trying to make up for the time he wasn't there. A year after my mom passed away, he started to drink, to forget his misery, trying to forget my mother and trying not to think about raising me all alone. I learned to do the housekeeping on my own, since he wasn't home most of the time. I also had to cook for myself. From then on, it only went downhill. It started with the beatings. Every time he got home from the bars, if he came home at all, he started picking on me and humiliating me. It mostly ended with me crying and all beaten up. The next morning he would wake me up early, before he went to work, trying to convince me he never wanted to do this to me, but then again, he did. I spent the day going to school or staying at home, depending on how bad the injuries were this time. It started to escalate and at the moment I reached puberty, he also started to sexually abuse me. After a while, the beatings stopped, as long as I let him have sex with me without struggling. So I let him have it. He wasn't gentle and it hurt like hell, cause when he was drunk the only thing he seemed to care about was to get off as fast as he could. I became a slave of him, more like a zombie, obeying him and never thwarting him. There was one person where I felt safe, one person I could talk to, without being afraid. My best friend Josh and my two other friends Barry and Stephen. They had never left me down unlike most of the others. If those friends hadn't been there, I would've given it all up already, because the way my life was, wasn't bad, it was even worse... ******************************************************** This was part 1 of the story. I would really like to continue it, but it depends on all of you and your reactions. You can also make suggestions it, but not really after you read this first part, because it's only the beginning of it, and I had to get you all involved in the story. I am looking forward to your feedback at dmx@gayworld.be Thx for reading stay tuned! (to be continued) -X- D. ********************************************************