Date: Sun, 12 Aug 2001 23:30:51 EDT
From: INCOMING87@aol.com
Subject: the story of someone i love-7

All of last night's events came rushing to me again. I was so depressed
that I didn't want to do anything but sit and stare at something, maybe cry
a little. I did know that I needed to do something, something to make me
feel better or apologize. I decided to write two letters, one to Beau and
one to Colin. My letter to Beau made me feel like a complete idiot. I
always knew cheaters are losers and slime bags, I promised myself never to
be one but somehow I broke that promise to myself. I never wanted to cheat
on Beau, never; he meant so much to me that I didn't want to lose him. I'd
do anything to get him back, and I mean it, if he told me to murder
someone, well, I just might do it.

My letter to Beau was simple. I wasn't in the mood to think of creative
lines or anything, but just tell the truth. I wrote:

" Dear Beau:
	I know you don't want to read this but I knew that writing a letter
to you would help. I acknowledge that I did something wrong and stupid that
hurt you really bad and it hurt me too. I apologize deeply for what I did
with Colin and how I hurt you. I want to make it right by trying to make
you happy, if that means not seeing me again, so be it, but I want you to
know I still love you and always will. I want to recommit by never, ever
make you mad again. I only want you to be happy.
						Deep regrets, Nate"

I actually started feeling better after I wrote that letter. I decided to
give it to him myself so I got on my bike and started riding towards his
house. I arrived and knocked on the door. I waited for a minute and
realized no one was home. I took the letter and put it in his mailbox and
started to bike away. I was biking and decided to go to that private place
in the woods where Beau and I went together. I was almost at our "spot" and
I saw two people making out. I looked harder and saw Beau's beautifully
toned hair next to a girl's smooth shoulder length blonde hair. I didn't
get it, Beau was making out with Jenny Fagan. I just sat by some trees and
waited till I could catch Beau alone and talk to him. He got up and walked
the other way. I was so disappointed. I had that feeling of, "damn, if only
I was a little faster."

The rest of the day passed slowly. At about 1 in the morning my phone
rang. It woke me up so I didn't want to answer it, after a while it
stopped. I was still awake and it rang again. This time I answered it.

"Hello" I answered, still half sleeping.

"Hey Nate, its Beau." He must have been awake the whole time.

"Hey! I am so sorry." I told him sincerely

"Yeah, I got your letter."

"OK, I mean everything I wrote."

"I know, I thought it was really nice of you. I still love you as much as
before. I only got mad because I didn't know what to do when I heard about
it."

"Really?" I was so happy!

"Yeah, I never want to get mad at you again and I realize that people make
mistakes, I'll just leave it as a mistake."

"Thank you so much. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I need to ask you something, why where you making out with Jenny Fagan
today?"

"I was sad I guess, at my self for being...you know...gay...and with out
you I wanted to be...normal...so I thought that I would make out with
her...cause she liked me...and I wanted to change myself. I'm totally over
with that though. Kissing her was so gross. I saw your letter and waited to
call you. I was so happy you didn't leave me for Colin after you thought I
was mad at you." I was surprised at how confident Beau can talk about this
kind of stuff.

"OK, I forgive you for all of that. I love you."

"Thank you, I love you too."

"Let's never get mad at each other again. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Thank you for calling me back."

"I did it cause I love you."

"Thanks. Good night. I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yeah!"

I wanted to get all my troubles behind me after Beau called. I was so
happy. I decided to call Colin on his private line. It was now like
1:30am. I called up Colin and waited for him to answer.

"Hello? What do you want at 1:30 in the fucking morning." he sounded about
as tired as I was when Beau called but way crabbier.

"Um...Colin. It's Nate." I replied.

"Oh, hey, sorry bout being cranky. You still mad at me and all?"

"A little, you mad at me for yelling at you?"

"No, I mean it was all my fault wasn't it."

"No, I shouldn't have done it but I did."

"I'm really sorry though, I'm glad you called."

"I know, I needed to talk to you I wanted to make things right again, I
mean we are best friends, right?"

"Yeah, but I still love you."

"I know Colin, I love you too, but in a different way, kind of like a
brother. You and I will never be together, unless Beau and I break-up, g-d
forbid."

"I know, I still will and I hope it doesn't effect our friendship."

"It wont, it'll just be another thing we have in common."

"OK, when will I see you again?"

"I don't know, I'll call you soon."

"OK, I'm going to go back to bed, thanks again for calling."

"I needed to. Sleep tight."

"I will, you too."

"OK, bye."

I was feeling so much better, relieved that Beau and I are back together
and my friendship with Colin is still strong. I almost feel as if life
places obstacles in your way and if you solve them a certain way you move
on as happy as before. All things happen for a reason and this certainly
did that by learning respect to whom I love. Oh! I can't wait to see Beau
tomorrow.

**Questions or comments? Email them to Incoming87@aol.com or AOL instant
message me at incoming87. thanks for reading.