I am not sure what I expected to find...chasing after Py...but I know it scared me. My heart was racing faster than my feet. So was my mind. The most popular kid in school, quarterback of the football team, star basketball player, best baseball player in school just told me he is gay. Holy fuck! (Sorry...I try to not talk like that...but this is a "holy fuck" moment, okay, so forgive me). THEN...he runs off. THEN...the dang beast of a dog wants me to chase him. Ugh. My brain might explode.

The path was an obvious dirt trail made by pickups and tractors driving cross the lower end of the field. It was dusty, little poofs of dust rising with each foot-fall. The summer smells of open fields and trees heavy to my senses. I noticed the summer sun was heating up, and I was again sweating. The dog was loping way out in front of me. The path took a sharp turn to the left around a copse of trees and heavy brush, as the terrain slowly folded downhill. As I turned the corner Py had disappeared, but even a novice outdoorsman like me knew to follow the path. Oddly, my mind began to thinking of this as some sort of adventure...like maybe I was a farmer kid chasing some bad guys (Indians) off the place...my brother taken captive, and only I could save him. Lol...funny how a mind can do stuff like that in a mere flash of a thought – transporting you from reality to fantasy seamlessly. However, my eyes began to take in that we were chasing down toward what had to be a creek. The ground was sloping quickly, and obviously we were out of the plowed fields and into a terrain that wasn't suitable for farming. The trees were dense now and their shade refreshing. I slowed down to a walk and my breathing was ragged. Stopping to pant, and place my hands on my knees to catch my breath, I decided to walk the rest of the way. I felt confident the danged dog was just fucking with my mind and there was nothing wrong. Surely. Couldn't be. If something was wrong...what could I do?

A narrower single trail turned off even harder to the left and the tractor path seemed to follow along parallel to what I could sense was a creek continuing on the right (no clue what compass direction, ok?). Hearing a noise of movement along this new trail, and curiosity being overpowering – I ventured down this trail. Ducking beneath a few low limbs, and stepping over a fallen branch, I came to a clearing right at the creek edge. The wall down to the creek bed was about fifteen feet or so, and the bottom was rocky across most of the creek bottom, except for a small stream of water flowing freely with crystal clear water. The creek was thirty to forty feet wide at this point, and the stream seemed about four feet wide and off to the far side of the creek bottom away from where I was standing. A path followed the creek bank for what appeared to be a long way. Left? Or right? Right...pushing aside a branch I crept forward sensing something was ahead. An unsettling feeling in my stomach of the uncertainty ahead was irritating. I am not a scardy-cat...I do love an adventure and love to explore new things...yet at this moment I couldn't shake the feeling real unchartered territory was ahead for me. The path meandered forward, the creek twisting and turning. A large and almost ninety-degree turn to the left of the direction I was walking sprang out in front of me. This sharp turn caused the bank to be washed out somewhat into an undercut where a narrow bench seemed to be carved by water right out of the embankment. Sitting on that bench was Everett and Py. Py knew I was there, but Ev made no indication or acknowledgement of my presence on the top embankment. I studied the terrain to see how he might have gotten down there, but could find no obvious path. Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot while I was considering options, Everett spoke softly.

"You have to go on past me on the top and circle back from the split on the trail," he said, never looking up while continuing to toss stones into the water. His actions were of contemplation and resignation, like he wanted solitude. I was tempted to just turn back to the barn and leave him to sort his own feelings. But my feet defied my good sense and stepped forward the way he had instructed. Every step my mind screamed at me to go back...to leave this alone...to get the hell out while I could. I could see in my mind's-eye me walking home again, slumped shoulders, weary footfalls, and tear laden cheeks. But no, my danged feet moved me forward. My stomach was upside down by now, and I could actually sense my hands were trembling. Whatever was about to happen I feared might tip the balance of my sanity forever.

I stepped in the newest smaller path as Py rushed up from his place beside Everett and scared the living hell out of me, casing me to stumble backwards and fall flat on my butt. Py was licking me all over the face with his equally enormous tongue. Ewwww... I had to push him off and struggle to my feet by grabbing hold of his fur to hoist myself up. His nose nudged my pocket where the dog treats were located, and then sniffed and nudged my crotch too. I pushed his face away...couldn't have him biting me there should he turn suddenly wolfish. Dog treat in hand I commanded him to go...but he just sat and waited for the treat – which I gave him. He wanted another...and only then would he move out of the way and lead me down to the bench, taking his dutiful seat beside Everett.

I cautiously approached and turned to sit back to the embankment cross-legged Indian style. I could feel his pain...shared his pain. Only, I had no clue how to tell him, no clue what to say to someone in this situation. I could just bust out bawling confessing my own gay thoughts...but my overwhelming fear this was a trap just would not permit that. Scratch that Idea. So, I could tell him I understand...to which he would cuss me out and shove me off in a well...nope that even sounds stupid to me. Scratch that idea. If I told him it would be okay...well, hell no – how the fuck would I or could I know that? Saying so would only make me look stupider than Forest Gump. "My momma always said, `Stupid is as stupid does'," I could hear rattling off in my head somewhere. Scratch that one too. Oh, here...I could tell him it's not so bad, I sucked my brother's dick and liked it... Nope, not going there. Scratch that one. How about, maybe you are just confused, or had too much sun? Ugh, I get stupider the longer I sit here...and it feels like I've been sitting stupidly stoic beside him for fourteen hours...but it's prolly only been 14 seconds. I just am sooooooooooooooo confused and afraid of what to do, or not do. Ugh.

Everett seemed ok to allow me to sit beside him writhing in mental anguish. That's not fair...because HE was most likely the one writhing in mental anguish...provided what he said is real and not a trap to catch me up with...

Finally he glanced over at me. I could feel the scorching hot glare frying my skin as they glanced at me. I flinched noticeably, which elicited a shrug from him.

"All I gotta do now is look at you to scare the shit out of you," he said so very sadly it nearly made me cry listening. I coughed as I choked on my own spit.

""I...I'm s...sorry," I stammered, "it...it's not you...I am just nervous," I said. "I...I just don't...I have never done this before." I realized how stupid that sounded, then tried again. "I mean, I haven't...aww...I umm...I don't know what to say." I lowered my head in embarrassment, and scratched at palms that weren't really itchy.

Everett tossed another stone. I looked around me, there seemed to be an ample supply of little stones dropped off of the embankment. So, I picked up one and tossed it in the water. Doing something, even a mindless thing like tossing rocks in water made me feel better.

I've no clue where the courage came from within me...but I reached out with a trembling hand and placed it on his leg, just above the knee. His flesh was hot. Felt like lava to my touch... My heart was telling me I was about to get my teeth kicked out... but my heart wanted Everett to know that I didn't hate him.

"It's ok," I whispered. "I won't tell anyone what you said." Fear got the better of me and I jerked my hand away from his knee.

Everett sighed audibly and reached up to wipe tears from his face with his upper sleeve. He tossed another rock, then stood up offering me his hand. I accepted his, and he lifted me to my feet like I was a small boy. We stood facing each other. My heart racing – completely and totally without knowing what to do. I just kept looking straight at him. My breathing was shallow, and I could hear my pulse beating in my ears. Everett looked me full in the eyes with his green dreamy eyes. "We prolly should head back..." he whispered – our eyes still locked. I could only swallow awkwardly...unable to speak. His hands came up to grip my shoulders. I felt myself quiver at his touch, and I let out an audible sigh. I was shaking like a leaf. He noticed.

"Why are you shaking?" he asked in a hushed tone. "Are you afraid of me?"

"N...no... ye..yes," I heard my own voice sounding frail and weak.

"Chaz, I would never hurt you," he said almost pleadingly.

"I..I'm just confused," I whispered.

"I know the feeling, little buddy," Everett whispered. "Your eyes are so brown," he said as his face leaned closer. I could feel his breath on my face. My head began to swim...my eyes closed involuntarily.

His lips were so impossibly soft. How does that happen? Wet, warm, soft...and electric. His kiss, so gentle, lasted only a moment. But my whole face was on fire, and it felt as if I was floating into outer space. My first real kiss...form a boy...from THIS boy... All possible connection to terra firm was lost and I had become untethered floating away into nothingness.

My eyes opened. His brilliant smile was amazing. I could see his eyes still swollen from the tears, and even a bit of teary trails on his face. But just looking at him, I could tell he felt immediately relieved like a ton of bricks had been lifted. To be honest, I felt the same. I don't guess he is going to throw me down a well after all.