Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 16:13:45 EDT From: Lyndhurst Rutherford Subject: Tad's Story chapter 11 Hello, my name is Lyndhurst Rutherford, or Lyndie for short. The following story is purely fictional. This is a concerns friendship, love, and sex between boys. If you are offended by my work, please don't read it. If this story is illegal because of your age or locality, don't read it. This, dear reader, represents my first attempt at writing short stories. If you do choose to read on, I would so enjoy hearing any and all serious observations and critiques from you. Please feel free to e-mail me at lyndie_73@Hotmail.com. Copyright 2000, Lyndhurst Rutherford, all rights reserved. ------------ Tad Story..by Lyndhurst Rutherford...lyndie_73@Hotmail.com Chapter 11 Darkness.......................... Fully, consuming darkness. Blacker than the darkest night, becoming a shroud about me. Totally enveloping darkness..................... Where was I, that I could not see, hear, or touch? I had no recall of where I was, or where I had been prior. I only knew now, the present, this actual moment. Moving my arms and legs about, I sensed the feeling that I was floating. But where? My body felt no fear, rather the opposite. I felt relief, perhaps the warmth of overwhelming happiness from deep within. On the outside, I felt coolness, yes, I did! And...and cool breezes rushing past, as if I were moving! If I was moving, then I had'nt the slightest notion whether it was forward, backward, side to side, or up and down. I also had no idea where it was that I was moving to. I had the strangest sensation that I had left something, or someone, behind. But, left from where, who, and what, I knew not?? I knew only, that I was Sam, but that was about it. All at once I sensed something different about my surroundings. What? What was it? A pinpoint? Yes......a tiny pinpoint of light. Very small, but still visable in complete opposite contrast to my shrouded surroundings. As my eyes fixed on this tiny pin point of light, I noiced that it was growing larger in size, as if,...as if...., yes, that's it! I was floating straight towards the light. The closer I came to the light, the brighter it became. Brighter and brighter. I had never witnessed anything of such intensity, that seemed to shimmer in the darkened void. Still through all this, I was not afraid. In fact, the joy I felt through my body had increased to the point that the light seemed to be my friend, a welcome place that I desired to get to as quickly as possable. But...why??? Why was the light pulling me in, closer, ever closer and closer, why? Suddenly the speed with which I had been traveling into the light seemed to be steadily increasing. I was proceeding quite rapidly, onward, ever onward into the light. All at once, I found myself totally consumed by the light, leaving the darkened void behind and fading from my view. Beautiful, bright, dazzling, white light, flashing silently sbout me. As with the blackness, I still could not define shape or form, just bright white, warm, welcoming, white. Moving,.....yes, still moving, I knew not how fast or where. Nor did I care. My entire body felt a warm, loving, joyfull feeling. I felt in my heart that where I was, was a place of love and joy, such that I had never before felt. But I still could not recall from wence I had come or why I was here. Then the change came about....Sound..., I hear sound! At first, almost completely inaudible. What was this sound. Whatever it was, the hearing of it increased the joy and inner peace that coursed through by my body. Yes......louder now..., singing!, Yes singing! A million voices or more all in unique perfect harmony. Sweet melody calling me further into the bright white. Joyously forward without fear I went. Forward...forwward. Chorus of voices becoming louder now. Oh, don't stop, so beautiful. I must join these voices and feel their love about me. I needed to feel the warm love. The love that seemed to pour into every fiber of my existance. Sooo sweet, so right..... Bright white...changing.... Flashes of pink, lavender, blue, and gold. Flashing about my head. Singing, oh...still the singig. Beautiful, haunting, sweet melody. Where???....Where am I??? No more bright white, gone is the sound of the sweet melody. All at once I found myself standing in a field. A long, sun drenched field of thick, soft grass. Grass so soft and thick and fragrance of being freshly cut. Oh...what heavenly perfume. To look above me, I saw azure blue skies, a soft pastel of inner peace, as the skies became filled with floating puff ball clouds, rolling merrily by on their way to.....wherever clouds went. Looking about, I spied neither house nor fence, as the fields seemed to go on endlessly. "Hello??", I shouted out. No reply. Again and again I shouted out, but no reply was returned. Wait! My eye has seen something....yes...a movement of some sort. White, glowing, moving up and down, but oddly enough, not a sound did I detect. Closer, closer it came. White, gold, shimmering against the blue skies, and all at once I could at last make out what I was looking at. A horse! A horse and rider! As they came galloping up in no time at all, I was enthralled by the strength and beauty of this fine animal. Approximatly fifteen hands high, a pure white stallion, nostrills flaring as he drew in his breath, head shaking violently about. His mane, a cascade of brilliant white. The same type of blindingly brilliant white as when I was transported here. Around this pure white stallion, semed to be a glow, a brilliant golden glow. Yet, as the beast drew near, it's approach was totally silent. Nor could I feel even the slightest vibration in the ground that normally should have shook like thunder, under the hooves of this enormous animal. As the horse came ever near, I could now make out the rider. About my own age, perhaps a bit older. Red hair, curly red hair, and shining green eyes. He seemed to me, to be very well built. The type of muscle that came from manual labor and working hard all his life. He was barefoot,and attired in brown overalls and blue farmers shirt. As he rode up right beside me, I gazed up at him directly in the eyes. I had to. I felt compelled to. Soft, understanding, loving eyes that seemed to look right through me. Something about him was so sweet and innocent. So clean and friendly that I felt no fear at all. And, oh...he had the most beautiful smile. What a lovely boy was he. Completely, the most beautiful face I had ever seen. As he dismounted, I noticed that he was surrounded by the same glow that was around the horse. "Hello Sam". "You...you know my name, Sir?" He giggled in a beautiful, soft voice. "Aye, Laddy. I know your name. But, if ya' please, I'll have none o' that Sir rubbish. Ya' see, Sir is for a well heeled gent, of which ya' can see, I'm not. But for now boyo, y' can call me by me God given name. Michael". For some odd reason, the sound of his name, struck in me something familiar. As if I should have known it all along but....from where?,how? "Please Michael, what is this place, and why am I here?" "Don't ya' recall anything lad?", he said with bemusement, while he smiled at me again. "Michael, all I know is my name. How I came to be here, and from where, I do not. Can you help me?" Michael looked at me intently now, the smile gone from his face, as if what I asked was serious business. "Sam, I...,yes, I can help ya' remember, but I must warn ya' first, that what you see may not be all too pleasant. Are ya' still sure, Lad?" "Oh yes Michael! Whatever it is, I need to know. I feel as though I've left something or someone behind, and.....Oh dear, I don't know who, or where, or what. Please, please help me". "Alright laddy, alright. Give me your hands, and look Sam, look apon my eyes....look apon my eyes......................" Softly taking my hands in his, the glow that had surrounded Michael and the horse, now included me as well. My body suddenly felt a warm protectiveness as if this were some magical, living thing, protecting me from harm. Doing as Michael had asked, I looked into his beautiful green eyes. Sweet, loving eyes, that seemed to be pulling me in deeper, and deeper. I felt as though I was falling into them. Falling, and falling. Down...down I went. When all at once, the colors........Red, and Black.......black storm clouds of violent hue. Lightening bolts that danced and crackled about me. All the while, falling, falling down through the evil, rolling, dark clouds. The lightening flashes...blinding me.................... Suddenly, all is calm again. I find myself floating. Looking down at a wooded scene as if I were just an observer watching from above. Looking down, I saw a forest clearing. There were men in uniform, horses, and.....and, oh my four boys being preceeded by men in uniform and a man with handcuffs on. The boys...wait....I can recall..uhhh....me?? Good heavens, I see myself, father, Brandon, Michael, and Tad, oh my sweet Tad....and,...and...NO!!! LOOK OUT!! THE GUN, HE'S GOT A GUN......NO TIME!!! LOOK OUT TAD....NO TAD..THE GUN..THE GUN...NO TIME......BLOOD!!! BLOOD EVERYWHERE....THE PAIN....THE PAIN.........I KILLED HIM..I KILLED HIM.................. Why are they all staring down apon me? Tad??? Father??? Dammit can't you hear me?? I'm here...up here...not down th..... On the ground..everyone crying....why? I'm....OH GOD THE BLOOD IS COMING FROM ME!!!!!!!!....I'M BLEEDING!!!! FATHER, TAD CRYING.....NO TAD....DON'T CRY, PLEASE BABY...NO...I'M HERE...NO TAD,TAD,TAD....SWEET BOY DON'T CRY..NOOOOOOOO....................................... "NO TAD!!! DON'T CRY..........DON'T CR......" "Easy boyo...shhh now. It's alright. Your back w'me now, shhh". Suddenly my eyes bolted open, my body trembling, my breath coming in gasps. Michaels arms were now about me, comforting me, as I trembled with rememberance of what I had just seen. "Ohhh...Michael!!", I cried, "I remember. I recall everything...but..oh..the blood, and I was lying there and...and...... Michael? Am I....am I d-d......." "Are ya' dead?", he smiled at me warmly and hugged me closer to him. "No boyo..not dead. Ya' see, when ya' got shot, well we thought it best that we bring ya' here for a spell so's that ya' wouldn't be feelin' the pain an' all, ya' see". "We??? Michael, who is 'we'?" Michael laughed, looked up and threw his arms up in the air, as if proclaiming for all to hear. "Oh laddy. 'We', is meself, and The All Mighty, boyo", Throwing his hands back on my shoulders, smiling and softly looking me right in the eyes, whispering........."GOD!" I was astounded to say the least and didn't know what to say next. It was indeed a shock to be here, much less in the presence of God. "Michael..is..is God here??? Now???" "Why yes lad...Look about ya'. God is everywhere. God's image is somethin' a still livin' lad like you can't see yet, but all this, everythin' ya' see about ya', is God". "Michael, is this....uhhh..Heaven?" "Well.....in a manner of speakin'", he said rubbing his chin. "This is, MMmmmmm, a way station, if ya' please. Sort of a place we bring deservin' souls. Ya' see we couldn't very well bring ya' up through the main gates, 'cause once you go through the gates, well...there's no comin' back, ya' see". I was trying to take all this in as best I could but.......WAIT!!!! I KNEW NOW....I JUST HAD TO BE RIGHT. I KNEW NOW, WHY THIS BOY'S NAME SEEMED SO FAMILIAR TO ME..."Michael....are you...are you from my fathers past?" Michael looked at me as though he'd been caught at something. Something he wasn't going to talk about if he could help it. He shrugged his broad, muscular shoulders sheepishly, sort of kicking the ground beneath his feet, and in an almost inaudable voice replied. "Yes Sam...the one and the same." Michael turned away from me, trying to hide the fact that he was starting to cry. The glow that encircled us still, had grown brighter with each little sniffle. "Michael..I'm so sorry. Ohh..I didn't mean to upset you, it's only...." Michael turned slowly to face me with upturned eyes, and I found out that angels do cry, because Michael had tears streaming down his soft, red freckled cheeks. "Lad..ya' didn't upset me. Ya' know, when ya' come to live in the house of the Lord, ya' takes everythin' with ya'. All your good memories, all the love, everythin'......except the bad. The bad gets left on earth. Ohh my heavens, such a fine lad you're turnin' out to be. All these years...all these years watchin' ya' grow up". Michael picked my head up by the chin and stroked my cheek, gazing at me as if he were seeing,......seeing someone else. "Sam, did ya' know that you are the spittin' image of your dear father, may the saints protect him. That same sweet face that I....I....ohh dear me", he sighed deeply. "That same sweet face that I fell in love with",he said as he slowly turned away again this time crying to be heard. I simply put my arms about him from behind, holding him close and comforting him in the same way he did for me a few moments ago, feeling his body shake with sobbing and feeling so useless and unable to help him. Lord forgive me for causing him to recall the pain. The pain of something, I surmise, he had buried deeply, long, long, ago. "Michael, I.............." Michael turned about slowly and smiled that warm radiant smile of his once again, wiping his tears on his shirt sleeve. "Now, now...none o' that feelin' sorry for me stuff, ya' hear? Ya' see Sam, I have no qualms livin' w' God. Ya' see, up here I've got all that I want, plus a job t'boot. Ya' see, I'm a Guardian Angel. YOUR guardian angel". "Sam..your father once tol' ya' that the Lord has his reasons for all that he does. Well....just t'help ya' understand... If I hadn't passed on when I did, then I couldn't watch over all o'ya'. You, your father, your blessed mother. Oh...such a fine lady, she is. Well anyhoo, just think now. If I hadn't passed on, your father, he'd never o'met your mother. And then they'd never have had Samuel Hedge. An' if there'd never been a Sam...Who do ya' suppose would be about ta' protect that sweet angel boy that ya' love so much. Ohh such a sweet face on him, I tell ya'. What a darlin' boyo. Why......,you'd never have been there to throw yourself between him and harm's way, don't ya' see?" Suddenly it struck me like a flash..."Tad!, oh my, Michael, he must be worried sick. Oh, I do hate to see him cry. He's so beautiful when he smiles. Oh Lord I love him so much. Oh Michael, when he kisses me,...ohh I get butterflies deep inside, and I feel as if I've turned to jam. It's like he's the missing peice to my soul. I would be nothing without his love. Ohhh dear Michael, I've got to go back to him". "An so ya' shall boyo. For it's the Lord's will that you be together. I want ya' to know that whatever trials an' such ya' face, know that God loves ya' both. God approves of the love you two have. Why, he's tol' me so hisself, don't ya' know. Ya' see, God don't care a lick about boy, girl, or whatever. God just wants all his children to love each other. So when ya' goes back to him Sam,.......Love him. Just love him. Love him through thick an' thin, good times an' bad. Hold 'im close to your heart and never let 'im go. He was meant for you, an' you for him. It was God's intent. Yessiree, that unselfish nature o' yours, hmmmphh, just like your father, saints protect him. You just love him lad, the Lord'll do the protectin' for all o' ya'". Suddenly my thoughts turned sour when I recalled that I had been the one to kill that no good Whitherpuss. "Michael....I'm afraid that the Lord won't help me. In that selfless act of bravery, you see,......I've committed a sin. A horrable sin". "Oh...,yes, yes, yes, yes,I know....that, that....Whitherperson, eh?" I just looked down at my feet and shook my head. I was too ashamed to look at Michael. I had commited the sin of taking another human life. How in the world would I ever get over that. Holding my head in his hands and softly stroking my cheek, Michael's calming voice and loving eyes, bade me listen. "Laddy, all I can say is that sometimes, things aren't what they seem". "Wha....but Michael, I.....", but Michael put his finger on my lips to shush me and smiled warmly. As we stood there, the beautiful stead that Michael rode in on started nudging Michael on the arm with his nose, and shaking his head, as if to hurry him along. "Yes, yes, yes, you impatient little sod, I'm hurrin'!, I'm hurrin'! Now, then. Listen to me Sam, we haven't much time left together. Two things. Tell cuddles, err..ughh, y' father....." "Cuddles???? Who in the devil........." "Oh..mercy, never mind, that! Tell him I'll be waitin' for him here an' that I...,I...ughhhhh, oh...........well never mind". Michael was going to say something but abruptly changed his mind, waving me off and staring sadly at the ground instead. I softly took both his hands in mine, causing him to gaze once more into my eyes. "Michael, I know...I'll tell father that....you still love him". He looked deep into my soul with pleading eyes and just smiled warmly at me. We both knew it to be true. "Michael, what was the second thing you wanted to tell me?" "Oh yes lad. Although the dangers past, your love must go through one more trial. It must stand the test of time". "Test of time? Michael, I don't quite understand. What test of time?" "Enough Sam, I cannot be tellin' ya' anymore than wha' I already did". "But why?",I demanded. "Haven't we been through quite enough already? All we want is to be left alone to be together. To love each other and share our lives with each other without any further heartache. Why another test? It's not fair I tell you. When Michael? When will it all be over?" Michael looked at me, obviously holding this secret back behind his eyes, but unwilling to tell me. He hugged me closely in a warm embrace, softly kissed my cheek, and whispered softly into my ear. "It'll be done when the sun breaks the clouds an' smiles on the both o' ya'. Now then...back ya' go!". "But Michael......................." "It'll be done when the sun breaks the clouds an' smiles on the both o' ya'". "on the both o' ya'"..........."on the both o' ya'"......."on the both o' ya'"..............."on the both o' ya'"...................... These were the last words I recall Michael saying as the scene about me became increasingly distended and foggy. Micheal's voice, echoing in the distance, drifting further and further away, as the grey foggy mist enveloped me and once again sent me on a journey through time and space. Falling, softly falling....downward, ever downward through the swirling mists, with the faint echo of Michaels final words, "on the both o' ya'"..."on the both o' ya'".......................... "Ohh...Tad...I'm coming...I'm coming...Tad?....Tad?.....Tad?........" "TAD!!!! TAD...LOOK OUT!!! THE GUN.....LOOK OUT......" "Samuel?......Samuel? wake up dear! Ohh my dearest boy! It's alright, Oh, Mother's here...Mother's here....." My eyes opened with a start, and as the foggyness cleared and my eyes focused, I stopped my shrieking and it seemed I couldn't catch my breath and I was sweating profusely. Wha.......Where..where was I? "Samuel...speak to me son................" But I could not speak, I could only cry. As I cried in great sobbs, my body shook with uncontrollable spasms, as my mother put her arms about me, kissing my face and running her soft hands through my hair as I clung to her, resting my head against her, her sweet purfume drifting into my nose. Yes this was real, I was home again. I realized that I was home, safe in my own bed, the warm familiar glow of the oil lamp lighting my room. Safe in my mothers arms again. I can't begin to describe the calming affect of mothers embrace. Calming me and chasing away the demons, chasing away the cold. Had I really been there? Was it all a dream? So confused, so tired. Regaining my composure somewhat, I looked up at mothers tired eyes, the tears falling down her face. This wasn't like mother, why did she seem so tired and unmade up? She just looked at me, unable to speak anything but my name and, "Her baby is back", kissing my face again, and again, her tears becoming intermingled with my own. I tried to pick up my right arm to wipe away my tears, when I was struck by an ungodly searing pain, making me cry out in anguish. But no cry came, mearly a croak through a dry parched throat. Mother lay me back down amid the softness of my blankets and pillows. "There, there, Samuel, you must lie still......" "Mother....",I croaked, "Thirsty.....". All at once mothers eyes darted about the room until she spied her prey and then snatched the glass and pitcher off the bed stand, spilling water on herself in the process, as she shakily poured me a glass of water. She put the pitcher down and slowly lifted my head up a bit so that I could drink. "Slowly dear! Slowly, you must not drink too quickly Samuel",she said as I completely ignored her warnings and gulped the cool water down my dry throat, almost choking in the process. Mother lay my head back against the pillow as I allowed the refreshing water to be absorbed into my body. Quickly Mother set the glass and pitcher back down on the bed stand and ran to my bedroom door, flinging it open and shouting into the hallway at the top of her lungs. "FATHER!!! FATHER COME QUICKLY!! FAAAAATHHHEERRRRRR!!!!!". In a moment a deshevled, sleepy eyed father came running, or rather stumbling into my room, followed closely by a just as deshevled Annabelle. A moment later and I was surrounded by all three of them all laughing, talking, kissing me, and crying at the same instant. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. I was still somewhat confused at this point. "Well then, young man! And what, may I ask, is your excuse for dallying about in bed for a week and a half, while we were all worried sick", said father in his usual joking manner. "A week and a half??? Father, what has been a week and a half? I don't recall a thing after I blacked out! What happened? And why does my arm hurt so?". "Am I to understand that you don't recall what happened Sam?", he asked me with the most astonished look on his face. "Why, No Sir, uhh, well that is to say that I don't recall what happened after I blacked out". They all looked at me as if I had grown horns or something, and then at each other in obvious dismay. Mother and Annabelle both sat down on chairs in my room and Father sat down on the bed beside me. He looked tired and drawn. They all did. They looked as if they'd been without sleep for the entire week and a half that I'd been "gone". Father took my left hand in his, softly holding it for fear of hurting me and gazed lovingly into my eyes. "Oh Samuel, we've been so frightfully worried about you. The doctor removed Whitherspoon's bullet from your arm, no real damage done, you see. Well, he said that eventually you'd awaken, that you were simply in shock. But,...we just didn't know when you'd come about. We sat here and simply prayed to God that you'd come back to us Son. And, you have, you...., oh dear..I'm making a spectacle of myself aren't I?", he said as the tears streamed down his face, the light of the oil lamp illuminating the wetness as the tears trickled past, becoming trapped in the wrinkles of his tired eyes. As my father spoke, his voice became cracked and choked with emotion. Rare indeed, were the times I had heard my father speak with anything but extreme poise, dignity, and the confidence befitting a gentleman of his stature. "To think that I,...that we,....almost lost our only dearest son. Mother and I couldn't have gone on without you!", he said, leaning down and sweeping me up in one of his sweet bear hugs, the memory of which I shall now treasure forever. Apon releasing me my father looked at me again, this time with a smile that could have stretched across the entire empire. "Samuel....You're a hero! Do you know that? You're a hero, I say! The entire village is talking about it. Don't you recall??", he said looking at me with a mixture of extreme pride and bewilderment. "Only bits and pieces. Did I... I......K-...." My fathers expression changed slightly to one of concern. "Sam...Witherspoon is dead and Tad is safe, all because, YOU!, MY SON!, were there to protect him! YOU ARE A HERO !!!!!" Somehow,....something just didn't feel quite right. All this rubbish about being a hero and such. I knew that, Yes, he was evil. And, Yes, he deserved punishment for what he'd done to the sweet boy I so adored. I would have gladly given my life to save Tad's, but.....I....I....... Suddenly I could not contain the pain of my thoughts any longer, as my sadness exploded from my eyes in a torrential downpour of tears. "Ohh...father, father. Dash it all....I'm not a bloody hero! I'm not, I'm not anything of the sort..... I took another life! I KILLED A MAN, FATHER!! I KILLED A MAN!,I KILLED A MAN!", I sobbed over and over again. Father had again scooped me up into his strong arms, kissing my tear soaked cheek and brushing back my hair. Funny, to this day I still recall the stubble of his unshaven face scraping against my smooth cheeks. Holding me close, my father rocked me back and forth, trying to calm me, while he himself openly wept right along with me. The shared tears of both Father and son, shed at the sudden loss of my boyish innocense, forever marred by this frightful deed. "Sam...It all went so extremely fast, ugghh, oh dear, Samuel, there was no time, son. No time to think! Time only to act! And act, you did! You yourself took the bullet that was meant to end Tad's life. The only thing that you're guilty of is shamelessly endangering your own life in order to save another". Suddenly father held me out at arms length and looked at me, red, tear drenched eyes burning with solid conviction. "Samuel!!! Listen to me son. You were not to blame for the way that vile creature met his final doom. He had brought that apon himself. The actions you took to capture him, saved the lives of, not only Tad, but your other two companions as well. Sam, hear me! YOU SAVED THREE LIVES!!!!! DO YOU HEAR THAT...YOU SAVED THREE LIVES!!!!! The lord has his reasons for all that happens, and who he chooses to carry out his commands. Samuel, it was the lord that put that gun in your hands. God needed you to protect Tad. And it was Whitherspoons punishment to be smitten down by one of the very people he intended to harm". I had stopped crying by then, captured by my fathers intensity, trying to draw from my fathers strength and looking deeply into the eyes of the one person whose opinion and trust, I valued most in the world. "SAM, YOU SAVED THREE LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!", he said again, as if I hadn't heard the first two times. As I looked into my fathers tired eyes, I saw his tears come again, slowly streaming down his face, before he grabbed me in one of his bear hugs again and kissed me over and over. Looking up to the ceiling, my father, choking on his tears, thanked God for sending him a son such as me. Just as quickly as it had come, the sick feeling left me, being replaced by fathers strength, love, and the wise words he had used to make me see the truth of my actions. And, just as quickly, I joined my father, again shedding tears, but this time they were tears of joy. Joy that my father was so proud of me, joy that I was back with the people that I so loved. Out of the corner of my eye, I had seen that both Mother and Annabelle had fallen fast asleep in their chairs, exhausted. "MY SAM!", he uttered in undeniable pride. "I will never have any doubts as to what type of man you'll be, you shall always be a man in my eyes and worthy of my deepest respect. I shall always be proud of you, always so bloody proud of you. And now, God has given you back to us". "Well...God and my guardian angel", I said, finally finding my voice. "Excuse me ?????? Guardian angel, Sam ? What the devil are you babbling about?". "My guardian angel, Father! The angel that took care of me when you all thought I would never wake again". "Ahhhh...yes, quite. Guardian angel indeed! Sam you must have been dreaming, right ?", he said slightly chuckling and clearly amused. "No, No, father. I was really there", I insisted. "Really where?" "In heaven, Sir". I could see by the look on his face, that father thought me absolutly daft or delerious. "In...In Heaven??? Dear God, Sam....Am I to understand that......, Well, tell me Sam, did this, this Angel of yours, did he give you any words of wisdom?", he said with a sly smile and a disbelieving chuckle. "Yes Sir", I said, pausing..... "He asked me to say hello to "Cuddles". Suddenly, as if a switch had been set, the expression on my fathers face quickly changed to one of utter shock and disbelief, his face turning a ghastly white palor as if all the blood had drained from his body and the smile disappeared from his lips. "Father??? Are you alright? You look pale!". Father continued to stare at me, well actually, not at me, sort of through me. It was as if he were seeing someone else. I noticed a sort of whistfull sadness in his eyes as well. I took hold of my fathers hand again........... "Father,....Michael told me that...he still...still loved you. He told me that he would be waiting for you when you finally come to the other side". Father said not a word as he slowly gazed upward, uttering only one barely audable sentance. "I love you still, Mich................" I held fathers hand while he silently wept, feeling his pain in my heart, and knowing that I could not make it better. "Father,....I'm sorry if I've hurt you. It's only that I promised him". Eventually father regained his composure and looked down at me lying there, a bullet hole in my arm. A sad smile seemed to slowly cross his face. "No Sam. No,...you didn't hurt me, son". Taking a deep sigh..."One could not have asked for a better guardian angel, eh??". I merely nodded my head in agreement. That's father. A pillar of strength. My Hero. "Err..Uhh, Sam, you must be tired. I'm going to get this lot off to bed", referring to Mother and Annabelle, still fast asleep in their chairs. Father roused mother and Annabelle and sent them, protesting all the way, off to bed with mother promising that she'd be back bright and early. Father returned to sit at my bedside. "Now then Sam, you get some rest. We'll talk further in the morning, eh?". As father rose to leave, I took hold of his hand and stopped him. "Father...Tad?? Where's my Tad???? Why isn't he here???" "Why Samuel Hedge!,......he is here!" Father smiled at me as he pointed to the side of my room. Turning my head slowly, there he was, my sweet boy, my angel,asleep on the cot. Asleep as always, on his tummy, mouth open, tongue sticking out just the slightest. His golden locks hanging limply over closed eyes. As I gazed at my sleeping angel, my life and strength seemed to start flowing back into my entire being. Blast! Why did I have to be lying here helpless, when all I desired to do was to slip under the blankets next to his warm body, take him in my arms, and kiss his sweet lips, again, and again, and again. "Father, would you please wake him for me?" "I'm afraid that's quite impossable son". "Impossable?........Why?" "Well Sam, after the doctor had you stabilized, it was Tad who took care of you. Barely let any of us near you. He changed your bandages, bedclothing, washed and bathed you, and just sat here, hour after hour, day after day, talking to you holding your hand. At times crying in Mothers lap. He refused to eat or sleep, for fear that you'd require attention. He WOULD NOT LEAVE YOU! We couldn't get him away from you. We were all afraid that he'd become quite ill himself, so we aquired a sleeping powder from the doctor and slipped it into a glass of warm milk that Annabelle bullied him into drinking! Jolly good, that Annabelle,eh?? I should imagine he'll be incapacitated, ohhh.....until tomorrow evening or so! Dash it all Sam, he is rather a stubborn little thing,eh,what???" I laughed at this statement. Little did father realize, just how stubborn he could be, this sweet angel of mine. I still had trouble beleiving that someone as beautiful as he, loved me so. I was indeed the luckiest boy on the face of the earth. My sweet little nurse. I needed him near me so badly. It felt as though I hadn't been near him in ages and I did so need to feel him next to me. As father was about to leave, he walked over to the lamp to put it out, watching me look at Tad. Father looked first at me, then over at Tad and smiled. "He really does love you so Samuel. Loves you more than the sun and the moon combined, I should imagine. As much,...if not more, than I loved Michael", he said sighing deeply. "He's my whole world now, Father. He's the brightest sunshine in my life, some piece of me that I never knew existed. Father??? Would you...would you put him in the bed next to me?" "Samuel, I really think that.........." "Father,....please?", I said with my sweetest puppy dog eyes..... "I need him here, next to me". Father, didn't answer or argue any further. Just the look in his eyes told me that he, more than anyone, understood my need at the moment. Father chuckled to himself.."Very well, you scalawag you. I still say you'd make a hell of a lawyer. Who in their right senses could resist that face of yours? Only no funny business. Not yet at anyrate. I want you to rest", he admonished, wagging his finger at me. "FATHER!!!.....REALLY", I scolded him, as we both laughed at his off color humor. But father did have a point. I did need to recoup my strength. Ohh, but it was going to be awfully hard, just the sight of my Tad made my insides churn with wanting him. I watched in sweet anticipation as Father strode to Tad's bedside, lifted the blankets and without any strain in the least, scooped Tad's body up in his arms. As he approached, I lifted my own blanket as best I could with my good arm, as father lowered Tad down into the bed beside me and drew the blanket up and tucked us both in. All this time, Tad had no realization where he was and never even stirred. Father kissed me on the forehead good night as he put out the lamp, plunging the room into darkness, and silently left the room. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, the moon light shone in through my open window casting it's warm white glow apon Tad's sleeping face, just centimeters from my own. Slowly I began to revel in feeling the warmth of Tad's body against mine, and his breath apon my face. Tad was so close to me that I could smell the scent of him. That same scent that drove me mad with desire. This is what I needed, I thought. The best medicine I could have had was to feel my sweetheart lying beside me, sharing the warmth of our bodies together. The life flowing back into my body just at being near him. Here was my world. My hope, my dreams, my love. As the moonlight shone apon his sweet face, I studied it. To my amazement, I thought, still so beautiful as to set my heart on fire. Never again would I be cold in this bed or any other. Never again would Tad be cold or unloved. I intended to be next to him, keeping him warm, loved, and safe for the rest of our lives. Leaning my head down, I placed a kiss apon my angel, feeling the softness of his cheek on my lips. How I missed the taste of him. If only he were awake so that I could lose myself in those sweet deep eyes........ Turning my head back into my pillow, I closed my eyes, fully content to let sleep come apon me, now that I had him next to me. As I felt myself drift, I reached down, softly grasping Tad's hand in mine. As I lie there waiting for sleep to come, I had to laugh to myself. I had won! I beat that damned Witherspoon at his own dirty game. Hurt someone that I loved, will he? Never more. Never more would this sweet boy be hurt in any way, shape or form, not as long as I had breath left in my body. Just let them try! Just let them! I won!...I won,I won,I won,I won,I won!, I laughed triumphantly. May you be damned for all eternity, Jiles Whitherspoon, wherever you might be! Still,........one lingering thought kept drifting through my mind. What did Michael mean..."It'll be done when the sun breaks the clouds an' smiles on the both o' ya'"? Couldn't think.....What could possibly take him from me yet again. Haven't we earned the right to be together in peace? No! Nothing will take him from me. If Whitherface couldn't do it then I'll be damned if anything, or anyone, could. I love him. I will not let him go. NEVER. I love him.....I love...him.....ohh so tired.. sleepy..............