Date: Wed, 29 Nov 2000 10:52:54 -0500 From: Lyndhurst Rutherford Subject: Tad's Story Chapter 12 Hello, my name is Lyndhurst Rutherford, or Lyndie for short. The following story is purely fictional. This is a concerns friendship, love, and sex between boys. If you are offended by my work, please don't read it. If this story is illegal because of your age or locality, don't read it. This, dear reader, represents my first attempt at writing short stories. If you do choose to read on, I would so enjoy hearing any and all serious observations and critiques from you. Please feel free to e-mail me at lyndie_73@Hotmail.com. Copyright 2000, Lyndhurst Rutherford, all rights reserved. ------------ Tad's Story..by Lyndhurst Rutherford...lyndie_73@Hotmail.com Chapter 12 As I slowly tried to open my eyes that morning, they felt as if they'd been glued shut, as if I had been asleep for a thousand years. I don't even recall falling asleep, only that my last thoughts were of Tad. As my sleepy fog lifted, my bleary eyes focused on a single beam of warm sunlight, barging into my room uninvited as always, and creating a show of light on the wall directly in front of me. I recall how warm and cozy it felt being tucked under my blanket as I sleepily stretched my legs and curled my toes under the blankets, bumping into a warm body next to me. Turning my head to the left, my eyes settled apon a sight more beautiful than a thousand sunny mornings. Yes, he was still there, still beside me. It wasn't a dream after all. The first morning of what I hoped would be many more of waking up next to my sweetheart. My heart wanted to burst with happiness as I smiled to no one but myself. As I looked apon his sweet sleeping face, my hand simply reached up to rub his thigh, as if he were a mirage, afraid he might disappear. I needed the reassurance that it was him. Just to touch him again after coming so close to my demise, was indeed the sweetest reward I could imagine. How whole he made me feel. How could I have ever lived without this beautiful, loving boy. He hadn't moved one bit during the night since Father had placed him next to me. So at peace was he as his chest rose and fell with sleep, and his tongue still stuck out of his open mouth just the slightest bit. The morning sun beam dancing softly over the golden locks of his hair that hung all askew in front of his eyes. Silly twit, I thought. Why on earth did you have to make them give you a sleeping powder? How I wish that you were awake to share this beautiful morning with me. How I wish that I could now hold you tightly in my embrace, gaze into your sweet, loving eyes and taste your warm lips apon my own. My ears, longing to hear the sweet whispered words of your love for me mixed with the musical tones of your infectious giggling. "I'm so in love with you Tad", I whispered to him, as if he could hear me, taking my sleeve and wiping away the single burning tear that seemed to come from nowhere, but was now running quickly down my cheek. Well, what to do now?, I thought. Now that I was awake, I wasn't going to lie about doing nothing. Besides, I had to pass water something bloody awful. My mind was made up. I was getting out of bed. I knew I'd have to be careful because I haven't been up and about for a week and a half. Nevertheless.....I was going to give it a go.` With my good arm, I pulled the blanket off. Looking down I saw that my legs were still there. That was all well and fine, can't go anywhere without them! Slowly, I swung my legs over and down the side of the bed, sitting up at the same instant. Success!! Aside from the blistering pain in my upper arm, all seemed in order. I mean to say, I haven't fainted or anything. Sitting there for a moment, I did start to become a trifle light headed, which was to be expected since I had been lying on my bloody back all this time. Next step, getting up on my feet. The chair next to my bed was quite close to me, so grabbing hold of it, I hoisted myself up, using it to brace me. Slowly! Slowly lad! Yes! There I was standing upright once again, despite the fact that my knees felt like jelly and wobbled about somewhat. After a bit, the wobbling stopped, and, using the chair as a large walking stick, I pushed it in front of me using my only good arm while taking my first few tentative steps. There! I was doing it! Only a little further to the bathroom. At the bathroom door, I felt secure enough to rid myself of the chair, and used door jambs and anything else I could to steady myself as I finally made it into the bathroom in good order, where I promptly plopped down on the toilet, deciding to pass water sitting, rather than standing. Well, after all, I was tired after my efforts, and it was all I could do to stand. I didn't relish the idea of wetting myself in the process. As I started to feel the familiar pleasure of releaving oneself, a thought occured to me. How in God's name did I pass water when I was "away"? Who held my..........?? Oh dear, I do hope it was either Tad or father and not Mother or, goodness sakes, not Annabelle! Well, not to worry, what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. Perhaps I was better off not knowing, I thought as I giggled to myself. As I sat there working up the steam for my return trip, there came a scream form just inside my room. "MASTER SAMUEL!--MASTER SAMUEL!--WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU IN BED?" But before I could answer, the bathroom door burst open with a charging, and very frightened Annabelle running in, nice as you please. "Master Samuel! Heavens sake! What on earth are you doing out of bed, sitting there?", she scolded. Trying to keep my composure, as I was utterly embarrassed by this intrusion, I tried in vain to keep my privates,...err..ahh...private. "Well young man! What have you to say for yourself? What on earth are you doing out of bed, sitting there?" "In the first place Miss Annabelle, I would assume that it would be perfectly obvious as to what I was doing sitting here. After all, this IS a bathroom! MY BATHROOM! In the second,....oh drat..there is no second!!!", I said finally losing my temper. "Madam, would you kindly have the courtesy to leave MY bathroom?" "Master Samuel!!! You shouldn't be out of bed yet, I........" "MADAM!!!! THAT IS ENTIRELY BESIDE THE POINT!!!! GET OUT!!!!!". For the first time since I had known her, Annabelle was speechless. I suppose that no one has ever dared speak to her in this fashion. It also seemed that I would no longer tolerate being treated as if I were a child. Annabelle indignantly threw her nose into the air and prepared to leave. "Very well, Sir! Just wait until your parents return", she said coldly, clearly insulted at having been put in her place. "Return? Return from where?" "Your parents have gone into town to speak with the doctor and to purchase something, the nature of which, they didn't discuss with me. Now then! I shall be waiting outside this door, and, when your parents return from town......" "Good! Then you can help me get dressed after I have had my bath!". "GET DRESSED? HAD YOUR B....NOW SEE HERE YOUNG MAN, I......." "OUT!!!!!", I shouted, pointing to the door with my finger for emphasis. "WELL!!! I NEVER......",she said as she stormed out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Hmmmphh! Of all the nerve. After all, I was entitled to some privacy. She could very well have knocked on the door before barging in. Eventually, I got off the toilet and stood to remove my night shirt. I was surprised that this time, standing was much easier than before, but the night shirt was a different matter entirely. I managed to get it up and over my head using only my good arm, but it hurt like the devil getting it over my wounded arm. Damn that Whitherspoon! But, finally it came off and I tossed it into the hamper and started the running the bathwater. As I waited for the tub to fill, I finally caught sight of myself standing naked in the bathroom mirror. The first time I had seen myself, in what seemed, quite a long time. I had a huge gauze bandage wrapped and bound about the upper portion of my right arm. I wanted to remove it and survey the damage to my arm but decided the best thing to do was let mother or someone else remove it, just in case it bled or something. As I gazed at my face in the mirror, I noticed that there was something different about the face that looked back at me. True, I looked dirty, sweaty, and dishevled, but I also looked tired and drawn. Somehow this was not the young boy's face that had looked back to me every morning. My face was belaying the trials of the past few weeks. Was this the face that "Michael" had seen in heaven? Was I really there? I couldn't grasp having made the journey, but it had all seemed so real though. As the steam from the hot water began obscuring my view in the mirror, I carefully, I slipped into the steamy hot water of my bath, taking care to hang my bandaged arm outside the tub, so as not to get the bandages all wet and muckey, and just leaned my head back against the edge of the tub and closed my eyes, relishing the comforting warmth. So....tired,....again...sleepy, perhaps I'll just rest for a bit before I wash myself. Ahhhh..waters'so warm...................... Mmmmm...soft kisses...my cheeks being kissed.......... I must have dozed for a trifle longer than a moment, because suddenly I awoke with a start, jumping in the bath water, my eyes snapping open. The sight before me was indeed worth waking up for. Somehow, my angel had awakened from his sleep, and now...now I gazed into the sweetest eyes in all the world, as he giggled at having awakened me so abruptly. Neither of us said a word for the moment, simply falling deeply into each others eyes as if we had been seperated forever, and finally found each other at long last. "You fell asleep silly, how do expect to get clean by sleeping in the tub?" I couldn't manage a word, so taken was I with the sight of his smiling face. Still lying there, I reached my good hand out of the tub, and finding his, brought his fingers to my lips, kissing each one of them slowly, without either of us breaking eye contact. Watching his face, I saw the transformation take place. His sweet lips starting to quivver, and his eyes, oh those lovingly beautiful eyes, starting to slowly fill with tears. So brave was he, trying to hold in his emotions and keep a stiff upper lip as it were. Slowly his fortitude broke down as his lips now trembled mercilessly and his tears kept him from seeing me as they flowed down his face. "Ohh...Sam...I did so want to be brave.. but I can't help it. It's all been inside for so long! I....I almost lost you.....all,..all m-mmy fault...I almost got you killed! I couldn't have beared to..to lose....." Tad could speak no more as his emotions caught up with him, and mine as well I'm afraid. As he knelt at the edge of the tub, leaning his head on his arms crying his life out, I sat up looking down apon him. Tad looked up at me, his face red and wet with crying. I tried hard to look him in the eyes but he wouldn't allow it, so ashamed was he that he couldn't even look directly at me. "Tad....,Tad look at me,....please". Slowly, Tad lifted his head and did as I had asked. "Thomas Winslow...do you know, do you have any idea,.....how much I love and adore that silly face of yours?", I said as I stroked his wet cheek. "B..But Sam, if it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't be hurt, and...oh....lord to think of what I've put you through,I........I..almost lost the most important person in my life, my whole reason for living,....I" "Tad??????" "Wh-What?" "Do shut up and kiss me, please, before I go out of my mind",I said as I slowly brought my face down to his, as his eyes slowly slid closed, instantly feeling the wet heat of his cheeks and tasting the delicious saltiness of his tears as my lips softly met his in an instantanious spark of love. Instanly Tad's arms flew about me trapping us together, forever I hope, as our lips and tongues feasted on one another. Dear God how I loved the taste of him. Finally seperating our lips so as to breathe, our cheeks together, his lips near my ear,kissing my neck, and warmly whispering, with his trembling breath, sweet words of love. The treasure I had been awaiting all this while. "Oohhh....my man, you still love me. After...after all this...you still want me...oohh God what ever have I done right to deserve you my love. You are MY hero Samuel Hedge, and I am totally yours...forever". "Just love me Tad, I don't want to own you, just love you", i giggled as our lips met yet again in hot frenzied confusion. Damn it all...who needed air to breathe anyway. After a bit, Tad pulled his face away and gazed, smiling at me. That same sweet smiling face that gave meaning to my life and warmed up my heart. "Time for your bath young man! Now just let me lock the door and I'll finish being your nurse and give you a proper bathing", he sniffled. "Tad, I can wash myself, I..........." I may as well have been talking to the toilet, he hadn't heard a word, as he jumped up in that truly unique way of his and ran to lock the bathroom door. "But, Tad, Annabelle's just outside the door, I...." "Oh no she's not, you silly boy!", he giggled. "I sent her away long ago". "YOU?,.......Sent her away? How on earth did you survive?" "Sam, Sam, Sam",he said shaking his head......"Perhaps I've got to teach you how I wrap her about my little finger? You really ought to try it", he said with mock pomposity. "Now then, you just lie back and relax while Nurse Tad scubs you all up". "You know, Nurse Tad, you could do with a bit of a wash yourself. How about sharing the bath with me?". "Oh!! I never! Why Samuel Hedge, you nasty boy", he said giggling and blushing the most delicious shade of red. "Well, I don't know?", he said with the sweetest little pout and cocking his head. "How do I know you're up to it?" I didn't answer him. Slowly I stood up from the bath and walked over to him with the most determined demenor, dripping water all over the floor. "Oh...my Sam...Someone seems awfully glad to see me", he giggled, as my body gave me away, pointing me in the right direction. As I got right up to him, our eyes locked. Tad's expression changed. Without words, the fire in his eyes spoke volumes saying,"Yes Sam..Do what you will, I'm all yours", as I slowly reached down and lifted his night shirt up and over his head. Standing back, I drank in the view of his sweet nakedness, his body blushing red as his own excitement became apparent. Slowly, his naked arms curled about my neck again, finding no resistance, pulling me in closely to him, my good arm finding it's way about his waist, massaginng the softness of his backside, as our eyes closed and our young bodies melted warmly against each other. Dear God it felt as though this were the first time for both of us as we shook, and our body heat burning between us with trembling, long pent up desire, as we kissed passionately. "Ohhhhh...God, yes Sam...ooohh you feel sssooo good. It's been s-s-o long sweetheart, and I have so needed to,..to, f-feel you love meee, ohhhh", he squealed softly into my ear in that soft kittenish way that drives me mad, as his fingers ran through my wet hair. Tad barely got the words out, so ragged was his breathing, as he kissed me again, and again, refusing to relinquish ownership of my tongue. As we stood there rubbing our hard penises together, I knew I wouldn't last quite long enough to love him slowly, and I needed to slow down a bit. I quite reluctantly broke free of Tad's arms and stood back, admiring his sweet, innocent beauty. "Sam???? Why? Wh....Come back, please!", he panted, trying to catch his breath, as his eyes begged. "You promised me a proper bath young man!", I can be such a bloody bastard at times, eh? "Mmmmm....If I give you a good enough scrubbing, then will you please make love to me Sam sweetheart ?",he cooed to me, pouting those sweet lips again, and using his fingers to trace an errant path down my chest, past my belly and softly taking hold of my most prized posessions, while massaging them slowly and gently between his strong fingers. "Well???....we'll see......", I said smiling at him, trying in vain to ignore the feelings he was creating in me. "WHAT???? WHAT DO MEAN WE'LL SEE..YOU..YOU......Quick...get in that tub before I lose my mind and alot more besides", he stomped at me, hands on his hips with that silly temper of his making a grand appearance. Well, I did ask for it! I carefully got back in the tub and stood as Tad grabbed the soap and washcloth and proceeded to soap my entire body, starting with my legs, working his way up to my groin, paying close and special attention to the "hard details". When I was covered in thick soapy lather, Tad got in with me and I took my turn soaping him up as well. I must say, I had rather a jolly time of it because I had found all of his ticklish areas, oh, quite by accident I assure you. Eventually the fire inside me could not be denied, as I needed his loving so. I turned Tad about so that his backside was facing me and slowly proceeded to soap his back, watching as his young body glistened with water and soap. Slowly I crept up behind him, snaking my arm around his front and plastering myself against his sweet slippery body, my own hardness nestled in between the soap lubricated cheeks of his backside. The feeling was intense as Tad closed his eyes,throwing his head back to rest on my shoulder and pressing his backside firmly into me, sending my head into a firey tailspin. "Oooooh God Tad....hoooooyessss, ahhhh darling you know just what t-t-to doooo...ohhhh........", I panted breathlessly as he squeezed my hardness, while moving his warm, slippery back side up and down against me at a furious rate. Tad reached his hands behind him and, taking hold of my thighs, held me tight against him, preventing any escape. Poor Tad, I had forgotten all about him as my arm had wrapped itself about his tiny waist in an effort to keep myself glued to him without falling over. I took my good hand and slowly took Tad's hardened boyhood in my hand, feeling it's soap covered length slither and slip easily forward and back through my hand with every move of his hips. My own hips, also busy burying my own hardness between the sweet slippery heat of his back side. "Ohhh...Sammm...ahhhh, you do love me...I can tell..ohh God honey you're so hard, ohhh I've never felt you this hot and hard against me...ooo soooo nice...I want to keep you there forever. Yesss..ohh..my man..pppushh..ohhyesss, push hard Sam. You can have me anyway you want, you're my hero, my llloovee. Ohhh..God Sam...love me,love me,love me,love meeeeee yesssss. Ohhhh God Samm....",he was shrieking in high pitched breathless words, as our lovemaking became the only existing force about us. Neither time or space mattered. Nothing mattered when I held my sweet boy in my arms. "Oh...God Sammm..I can't stand it any longer...please, please take me again....ahhhhhh..I need you inside me, please, please,....inside me". Our slippery bodies sliding hotly, furiously against one another made everything spin, as I heard my lovers cries of need. In one movement the choice had been made for me, as Tad quickly pushed his backside down on my penis at just the right moment and impailed himself, allowing my slippery boyhood to quickly and easily slip into the warm, heavenly place where my lover allowed only me. In a moment I stood trapped in the warm slippery confines of my lovers quivvering backside,clasping muscles tightly gripping in trembling, white hot heat around my now sensetive organ, releasing low gutteral groans of ecstacy form my lover as we became one heart, one mind, one soul, bound together through eternity. My knees shook, but struggled to support us as the feelings raced through our young bodies. As I tried once again to reach for Tad's sex, he stopped my hand. "Noooo...ohhh noo sweetheart. Ohhh...y-y-youjjust relax...this is for you...my man....later me, but for now I want only your pleasure. The right you've earned...ohh God Sam...please..oohhhhyess pushhhh...that's it..yess real hard now lover.....ohhhh please fill me with it, all of it...oh god TAKE ME!!!..OOOOHHYESSSSS PUSHHHHHH...PLEASE HARDER...Ohh God YESSS...FILL ME UP...PLEASE...AH, AH, AH,YESSS...OOOooooSSOOOOO GOOD. Ahhh...yes Sam, don't hold back now! COME ON...COOOOMMME ON..OOooo PLEEEAASE... FINISH INSIDE MEEEE.....OHHHHHHH...MY MAN, MY MANN, OHHH GOD MY SWEET MAN...................TAKE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!". Tad was out of his mind with his desire to please me, and I was helplessly losing my mind as his slippery naked buttocks, slapped noisly against me. Trapping me inside the hot, sweet fury of his love as we pounded our bodies together in the sweet rythmic dance. I don't know how he knew my end was near, for suddenly he picked up his pace, slapping his backside down apon me as I had only to hold on as he became my anchor to a world that was fast disappearing as my mind floated away further and further. Then....all movement frozen in time as the spark inside me ignited, and my world exploded in searing white heat, giving in to the final cries of what Tad had wanted most from me, as I filled my love with all I had to give. Seemingly endless, it came, and came, without end in sight as I exploded inside my lover. My world would never be the same as I floated helplessly in the space and time of our love, not willing to ever come back. "Oohhh yesss!!! oh yesss...all for me, all for me. Now I know that you love me. now I carry your seed inside me forever,my sweet love.......... ahhhhh...sooo..good.....soooo hot and warm inside me. Ohhh stay...Sam..stay. Stay deep inside me forever.............". Tad was delerious with his own pleasure at his moment, his words coming through short gasps of air. the tears of happiness, flowing down his sweet face. I knew then, that we were indeed made for each other as Michael had said. At no time had our lovemaking been as intense as it was at this moment. I knew that, in my life I could love only one person. Only this boy. This angel. Little by little the present world came back to me, as my breathing started returning to normal, and my heart continued to pump violently in my chest. How I remained standing is still a mystery to this day, but had I not been, we both surely would have fallen into the tub. At this moment in time we stood in the tub, his head resting back on my shoulder, my arm about him softly massaging his breast and tummy, still slippery with soap. His body gone limp with exhaustion as he collapsed against me, still moaning, whimpering, and whispering his undying devotion to our love, as I am still trapped inside of him. My penis still remaining as hard as when I had first taken him and refusing to leave it's warm resting place. I knew I could not remain standing for long and started to sit down in the tubs warm water, pulling a nearly comotose Tad with me. I do believe that, had I taken his hand and led him through hot coals, he would have followed me blindly. As we both sank into the water, which was luke warm by this time, I sat back against the tub, with Tad lying weakly on top of me. Funny, my strength seemed to be bounding back. It's a good thing that I was in rather good health. I proved to be quite a tough young man at that. As tad lay atop me coming back to his senses, I used my good hand to wash the soap off of the warm body that covered my own. As I was completely emersed, the soap on my body was being rinsed off for me, as I washed and caressed him as if he were a small baby. I could still feel myself trapped deep inside him, his muscles still relaxing and contracting around me. As my hand glided over his body I relished the feel of him. The soft skin of his abdomen giving way to his skinny ribcage, just begining to form hard muscles. His chest, already forming hard pectorals, under little nipples that grew hard under my probing fingers. "MMmmmm...Sam..,Ohoooh yesss...that feels soo nice. I could stay here forever...", he purred as he languidly stretched his naked body out on top of me. "I do beleive you were supposed to have given ME a bath young man", I teased. "Well...I gave you more than that, didn't I?", he giggled sweetly, turning his head to paste wet little butterfly kisses on my cheek as his hands took hold of mine, caressing it softly. Slowly he took my hand and guided it lower and lower, down his tummy until I could feel his rising hardness against my fingers. "Are you trying to tell me something Tad?" "Uh huh.....please.....you do it so well", he purred softly in my ear, sending a shivver through me, and reminding me that he still held me captive by giving my boyhood a firm squeeze with his behind, while his wet body squirmed above me. I still cannot beleive that I was still hard as a rock inside him. Never the less, duty was calling. It was my turn to please him. Gently, softly,I took my lover in my hand and started gently pulling it's rapidly hardening length, feeling it grow and pulse warmly with each tug of my wet hand as it slid up and down his hardness. Tad's hand never left mine, caressing it as I touched him sweetly, occasionally gliding lower to massage his testicle sac. How quickly the feelings within overtook him, as I heard and felt his breathing quicken, his backside clasping and sliding about fluidly on my own boyhood, the heat of his body growing hotter as the seconds went by. As he became lost within himself, I gently nuzzled his ear, licking the soft, tender folds of skin, relishing again the soft taste of him. Whispering little words of love hotly into his ear, my breath making his body tingle and jump, while he purred contentedly, and uttered undecipherable little squealing noises, as I kissed and nipped at his earlobe. My whole body picked up the rapid beating of his young heart as he lay slithering in ecstacy above me. Then I knew his end was at hand when he started driving his hot, pulsing boyhood through my slippery fist on it's own accord and driving me also to the brink for a second time as his backside slid hotly about my penis, as we both whispered our words of love in unision and our bodies trembled together. How I adored holding his warm, strong body in my arms. How loved I felt when I did. As if on cue, Tad and I came to a loving climax at the same instant, our bodies tensing at the same time as he erupted his sweet boyjuice into the air and all over my hand, and I emptied myself into him for the second time. Tad and I lay there for the longest time, enjoying the tender warmth of our afterglow. This is where we found our solace, tenderly holding one another. Sometime later without a word, Tad turned himself about, lying tummy to tummy with me, laying his hands on my chest and resting his chin on his hands. My eyes opened to find him gazing at me through half opened, misty, love covered eyes. Still, eyes so beautiful as to be lost forever inside them. I still could have looked into those eyes forever and not grown tired. Tad and I simply gazed longingly, lovingly, at each other, while sharing warm kisses and embraces, quite content at finally being able to love each other the way we pleased, knowing that no one was going to hurt us and neither of us had to go home to horror. We were home, the both of us, together forever. "We've got a little problem here Sam..." "What, may I ask, is that?" "Well it seems that I am absolutely, insanely, maddingly, in love with you, and..........your never going to get rid of me again. I guess your stuck with me", he whispered sweetly. I couldn't say a word. I could only smile back, as I kissed his sweet lips again, and again, and again, as we basked in the blissful warmth of our embrace. Oh Lord, let me be able to hold him forever. Eventually though, the bathwater began to grow quite cold, so we finally completed our washing, and dried ourselves off, or rather Tad did, drying the both of us. Sweet little twit, he wouldn't allow me to do a thing for myself. Totally unwilling to relinquish his role as my nursemaid. When we were dry and into some clean underthings, he carefully changed my bandage, applying fresh iodine and gauze. I must say that even though he was as gentle as he could be, I still found the entire procedure quite unnerving and painful to say the least, especially the bloody iodine. I did in fact have an opportunity to examine my wound once the old bandage came off, but all I saw was a small stiched scar where the doctor had removed the bullet and stiched me closed. It was more enflamed and puffy than anything else. Not at all what I had expected, but still not a very pretty sight. At anyrate, we dressed ourselves simply, with Tad buttoning my shirt and clasping my trousers, and so forth. I had finally insisted that he allow me to do some things for myself, allowing him to do, only what I couldn't with one arm. Tad sat down on the bed and watched as I combed my hair. I then caught sight of him in the mirror, sitting up on the bed nodding off. I turned about and sure enough, he was fast asleep sitting up! Obviously, the sleeping powder had still been in his system and had not fully worn off yet. I carefully lay him down and pulled the blanketup over him. I sat on the bed for a moment gazing at him. He was still exhausted, poor baby. He looked so cute, so sweet, and at peace. It was then that I became aware of my parents voices from the heating grate. Obviously, they had returned from their trip into the village proper. I smiled secretly to myself. It had been awhile since I've eavsdropped on them. "Oh Charles, I do hope that we're doing the right thing. After all, Samuel may not be up to it yet". "Nonsense. Why the boy is as tough as nails, you'll see. I'll wager to say that he'll bounce back rather quickly". "Yes dear, but all those people, gracious, and his Majesty also....." "Come, come, woman. Pull yourself together. It's not everyone that receives an honor such as this. Just think.....My son! a....err..Our son! A hero". Oh for gracious sakes, it's that ruddy hero business again! Why can't they just let it lie? Why was everyone making such a bloody to do over this? And what has His Majesty got to do with it? But still, it was awfully funny. Father sounded as if he'd swallowed a canery, in the manner that he chirped away about me. "Charles, have you thought of when you'll speak to the boy?" "No...not yet. I rather dread it also". Dread? Dread what? Which boy? All at once, my fathers voice went from giddy to depression. "Charles, we discussed this. It cannot happen as a surprise, it...." "Don't you think I realize that?", he snapped at her. "Don't..you..DARE! Don't you raise your voice to me Charles Hedge! I love him every bit as much as you. The thought of hurting him again has me torn in two, but what choice have we? What's to be, is to be!". "Yes dear. Of course you're quite right. Please forgive me for my outrageous outburst, it's just that,.....oh drat...it's going to hurt him in any event. We must make certain that we're about to pick up the peices". "Charles dear, if he is as tough as you say, he'll weather the storm quite aptly I should imagine. Now.....do go outside with that awful cigar! You know how the stench displeases me!" "Ohhh.....very well............( grumble, grumble )" If he's as tough......Good heavens! They were talking about...me! They must have gone into another room, for it was suddenly still, and the heating grate was quiet once again. What was it they had to tell me?.......What was so terrible that they had to pick up peices? I swear, I may be tough, but I don't imagine that I can stomach any further bad news.... I had better look cheerie when I go downstairs, otherwise they may suspect that I'd heard them. I do hope that what ever the matter, they get on with it quickly. I quietly stood up and had one last look at him. "Sleep my sweet angel. I'll be about when you awaken. I love you". I softly kissed his cheek and quietly left my room. No sooner had I closed my door, when my ears were met with the sound of ruffling skirts and scolding voices, as Mother came dashing up the stairs followed closely by an angry, scolding Annabelle. "There he is, Mrs.! Just as I said! Threw me out they did! Why, I never........" "Annabelle! PLEASE! That will be quite enough. I will get to the bottom of it all." "Well I should hope so!! Imagine....I NEVER!!!" Mother seemed to be in shock, as she glared at me. What on earth have I done now? "Samuel Hedge! What, may I ask, is the meaning of this?", Mother demanded. "Hello Mother! Meaning of what?", I asked, still quite confused. "Meaning of what?!? You've just woken up after nearly getting killed, and...and now you're out of bed and dressed?" "Oh, please Mother...Let me assure you, I feel fine. A trifle in pain, but my legs are in good order. At any rate I am glad to be out of that ghastly bed at long last." "Oh my dear boy. Are you quite sure? Perhaps we ought to carry you down the stairs?", she said, with motherly concern showing on her face and her attitude softening greatly. "CARRY ME D.....Now see here, the both of you...I appreciate the show of concern for my welfare, but as you can plainly see, I am in no need of being carried anywhere. See Mother? Tad has already helped me wash, dress, and even put this sling on my arm", I said laughing and wiggling my bad arm. "Well...was it really necessary to go bullying me out of your room like that? I was only concerned for you. You know, I've been taking care of you since you've been a little tyke and all.", said Annabelle. "Oh dear Annabelle. For what it's worth at this point, I humbly apologize. I am your servant madam in hopes that you'll forgive my indescretion. But after all, you did have me in a dis advantage, catching me in the bathroom with my trousers down, so to speak, eh?". I could here mother trying to stifle a giggle, as Annabelle hemmed and hawed with what I'd said. "Oh...you.. I think hanging around that charming little friend of yours is begining to rub off on you!", she said, backing down a bit. "But, if you ever argue with me again, so help me......", she warned, wagging her boney little finger at me. Suddenly mothers gigles got the best of her control, as she let a rather good sized one escape. "Oh dear....caught you with your trousers down!!! Oh yes, that must have been a sticky one, eh, what?" Quite suddenly, they were both laughing...at my expense no less. "Oh..Mrs. you should have seen his face......", Annabelle laughed. "Yes, yes, both of you have your little laugh", I said, becoming quite annoyed. "Only, do be quiet about it and don't wake Tad. He's gone back to sleep". I know they heard me, but kept laughing anyway, as I turned and headed down the stairs. "Oh Samuel, your Father is out on the patio with one of those dreadful cigars of his. Why don't you join him?", Mother yelled....(more laughing). "I'm thrilled you both are having such a jolly time of it!", I said, becoming increasingly annoyed, while making my way down and out to Father. "REALLY!!!!!....Look on my face..INDEED!!!", I groused to myself. As I opened the door that led out to the patio, I recall having to shield my eyes from the glare of the afternoon sun. After a week and a half, of darkness, my eyes weren't accustomed to it anymore. Slowly my eyes grew accustomed to the light, as I reveled in the warmth that suddenly surrounded me as I stepped out onto the patio. For a moment, I simply stood and surveyed all that was about me as if I had discovered nirvana itself. I had a new lease on life, as it were, and I was grateful to be able to enjoy such simple pleasures again. How beautiful, calm and serene, the garden was, as my nose caught the familiar scent of Mothers honeysuckle, growing just beyond the trellis. The birds were chirping a happy melody, as the squirrels scurried up and down the oak trees, gathering their food supply in preperation for the impending winter cold. Ahh, yes, it was good to be alive....still... Walking out further, I saw Father standing on the edge of the patio. His back was to me and he was staring out into the garden, puffing nervously on that cigar of his, seemingly in a pensive mood, as he was completely oblivious to my presence. I was hoping, hope apon hope, that his pensive mood had nothing to do with me or what I had overheard earlier. Suddenly, Father caught sight of me from the corner of his eye and turned smiling, to face me as I walked up to him. "Good heavens Samuel, are you up and about already?", as he rushed to greet me, enveloping me in his strong arms. "Well...yes, I guess I am if I'm standing here, aren't I?" Father erupted into one of his bellowing laughs again, turning to look me up and down, as if a piece of me were missing. "Are you feeling alright Sam? Perhaps we ought to sit?" "No sir, I'm just fine. Actually, I prefer to stand for a bit, if you don't mind?" "Not in the least", he said standing erect again, stuffing his cigar back into his mouth. Father and I turned in the direction of the garden once again. "It's so beautiful, isn't it Father?" "Hmmmm....what? Oh I am sorry, I hadn't heard a word you said Sam", he said, rather absently. Father had that vacant look on his face again, and I knew that something was amiss. "Well then Sam, are you up to a little stroll in the garden with me?" "Why....yes, I suppose. An outstanding idea, let's go". Slowly and deliberately, Father and I headed out onto the familiar garden path that we'd trekked along many a time in the past. Father always liked to come out here when he had something on his mind. According to Father, "It cleared the cobwebs", whatever that meant. I did have to walk slowly though, as I still wasn't up to snuff strengthwise, but then again, father didn't seem to be in too great a hurry either. "Just let me know if you tire Sam. It is amazing though how well you've recovered". I laughed, "Now perhaps if you could convince Annabelle and Mother of that, we'd be all set", I said sarcastically. "Well Sam, that's women for you, eh what? They're merely concerned, that's all. You know, you are a very loved young man". I laughed and shook my head in reply as we continued slowly along the cut slate slabs that made up the garden path. It always semed to smell so sweet and relaxing. This had to be my favorite part of my home. Father was silent again, the contemplative look re appearing across his face and furrowing his brow, as he fiddled nevously with his cigar. Funny how the cigar became an extention of the man. I could always sense what mood Father was in by the way he smoked and handled it. I knew that he'd wanted to talk to me regarding something, just what was still unknown to me. I did know, however, that, whatever the matter was, it must have been a realy delicate issue, because I've never known Father to be a shy duck. He was never afraid of anyone. He had the reputation of being a lion in the business world, and never failed to speak his peace with ease and grace. I suppose that he didn't quite know how to start in his instance. I stopped walking for a moment and simply stood where I was, looking down at the ground. Father noticed and stopped also, turning to look at me. "Sam? Are you all right, son? Are you tired?" I looked up directly, and with purpose,into my Fathers eyes for a moment before I spoke again. "Father, I,... I know that something is troubling you. I can see it in your face. May I be of any help?" Father stared at me for a moment, taking a deep breath and sighing loudly. He started to open his mouth to speak, but abruptly changed his mind, looking away from me instead. "Father, please..just get on with it", I said determinedly. Looking back at me, he started again to say something but laughed nervously instead. "You know Sam, you've got your mothers stubborn streak and directness!", laughing again."Let's sit down at our bench Sam, shall we?" I followed Father as he led us the few feet to our bench in the garden. The very same bench where he'd first told me of Michael. After we'd sat down, Father reached into the breast pocket of his coat, pulling out a small, worn and tattered photograph. For a moment, he seemed lost in time, as he stared at it. Finally he turned to look at me. "Sam, can you tell me who these people are in this photograph?", as he handed me the tattered piece of paper. Looking at the photograph, I saw it was of two boys and a black horse. It seemed to take but a moment before my brain kicked in and my mind froze. One of the boys in the photograph..was...Oh my lord...it was Michael! For a few moments, I could not speak, swallowing hard, I gazed at the face of one, who's loving eyes and comforting arms, had met me while I was in......oh dear, I still can't grasp if it was real or not. But, there he was, in the same clothes I had last seen him in. Same face, same sweet eyes. It must have been real! I had never seen his face before this, and now..... "Sam...Samuel? I say, do you hear me?" Father had been talking, calling my name, but I hadn't heard until now. "Father, this is ...M-Michael!" Father glared astoundingly at me, his eyes welling up with tears once again, as he fought to find his voice. "Dear God...oh my..oh my word..my word......So it is true, you..you were with him!", he muttered, almost in a whisper, almost afraid to utter the words. The look on his face, trying to beleive what he had just said, as he stared at the photograph with me. For a moment I looked at the other boy in the photograph. A smaller boy, with dark straight hair, in contrast to Michaels curls. While both were smiling, Michael looked right at the camera, smiling in that same beautiful way that he smiled at me. The other boy looked at Michael. A look I can only describe as...adoration. Looking at Michael as if he were all in the world. Funny, for a moment I noticed that the other boy looked a trifle like...like.....like me??? Then, like a light being turned on, it all became clear in my mind. The other boy was Father!! "Father? You???" A shy whistful smile crept up the corner of Fathers mouth as he continued to stare at the images before us, as he simply nodded his head, yes, in reponse. "I've had this photograph with me a great many years, having never even taken it out since the day,.....the day he, he...died", he said as a single tear rolled swiftly down fathers cheek, glinting in the sunlight and plopping down on his trousers. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, he continued. "This photograph is the only memory I have. It was taken a day after he first...first loved me in the barn. I surmise by the expression on my face, that it is apparent that I adored him. So strong, so sweet and kind, so gentle", he said as he absent mindedly touched michaels face on the photograph with his finger tips. Father then wiped away his tears, turned to me with a pleading look in his eyes. "Well then Sam, tell me about, ...about him. What happened? What did he say, and do? Did he........" "Father!", I said, resting my hand on his, calming him. "Yes, Sam, I'm sorry, do forgive me for going on, I....I just...." "Father..It's alright. He's happy, he still loves you, you know that?" I proceded to tell Father all that had happened to me, from getting there to leaving. Surprisingly enough, I recalled everything as it happened. Everything..... After I had finished my piece, Father had finally collected himself, lost now deep in thought, never having said a word the entire time I spoke about Michael. I sat silently for a moment, not being sure what to say. Perhaps Faher could help me figure out what Michael meant by a test of time. I hadn't a clue and I'm wasn't quite sure wheather I wanted to know either. "Hmmmm...quite curious....test of time...quite curious indeed", he muttered to himself, as if I hadn't been there at all. I was about to speak again, when he abruptly cut me off. "Sam....I have something for you", he said putting the photograph back into his pocket. "You have something for me Father? What?", I asked smiling. I didn't count on getting any gifts, so I was completely taken by surprise. From his other pocket, Father retrieved a small black box and handed it to me. It was about the size one would get in a jewelers shop. "What is this Father?", I said as I looked at the box. "Well open the thing and find out". I held this small box in my palm and slowly lifted the lid. Inside the box, resting apon a bed of red velvet, lay two halves of a golden medallion. each half with it's own golden neck chain. I picked up one of the medallions and held it up in the bright sun light, watching it glitter in the light. "These are gorgeous Father, but why are they for me? Are they real gold?" "Yes son, real gold. Well, in all actuality, one is for you, and the other is for Tad. You see,..they were once, one solid medallion. I had gotten it during my first week at the University, a gift from a professor for helping him get his class room and office in order. As he had very little money, he made a gift of it to me. Well, I had every intention of making a gift of it for Michael, with one chain. I was going to give it to him when I went home on holiday. But...before that ever happened, I ...I lost....lost him ( sighing deeply ). I even had it inscribed, 'Love Always'. All these many years I couldn't bear to look at it, and put it away with this photograph. Now Sam, you can wear one, and Tad the other. When you're together, put the two halves together and you will be as one. When you are apart, it will be something to remember the other by". It was I who now began to shed a tear, as I searched both halves for the inscription. There..."Love" "Always". I fit the two halves together, and they read,"Love Always". I immediately hugged him. "Oh Father, I can't. They must mean so much to you". "Samuel....they were meant to convay a message of love. A love that I lost, but that you have found. It will mean all the world to me for my two boys to share them together. They will bring you both solace in times of need". "Oh...Father, thank you...I can't wait to give it to him, he'll be so happy!". "Well.....perhaps you can give it to him at the party?" "Excuse me Father? Party? What Party?", I asked confused. "Ohhh...it's really nothing. Just a small gathering,........ of the entire village, here at the house", he said with a grand smile. "Father!!! I still don't understand. What ever for?" "Why...It's a party in honor of you four. You, Tad, Michael, and Brandon. A party at which King George himself will present you all with medals of bravery!!!! Isn't that grand!!!????", he said slapping his knee, his smile getting so wide, I thought it might fall entirely off his face. I didn't know quite what to say.I sat there in shock. Why ever would I need a medal for bravery! How rediculous! "His Majesty?....Coming here?.......In front of everyone????" "Yes Sam! Quite so...Oh I'm so proud of you! Now no getting around it, It was King George's idea!!". "Father, I do wish everyone would stop with this hero rubbish. Must we??" Father only laughed heartily at my embarrassment, nearly choking on his cigar smoke. "Oh come, come, Sam. I know how you must feel, but it's a great moment for the village, and your mother and I. Plus it will make King George extremely happy. So chin up, eh?" I shook my head in disbelief, but I had to resign myself to it. "Father, with all that, what if someone finds out about, ugh..you know...about......?". "Finds out about Tad and yourself? You are referring to how you feel towards each other, I imagine?" "Yes Sir....I'm not ready for everyone to know, I can't explain just why I feel this way but......" "No Sam, I know how you feel, and you're correct that it best be the family secret for now. No one need find out. This is just a simple case of a brave boy who protected his best friend. That will be the end of it. "Well.....alright, I suppose. If you think so Father. You've never given me bad advice yet". Father's face told me that he wasn't finished talking to me yet. I could sense that there was something else behind his eyes, something that didn't exactly please him. "Now Father...what is it that you haven't told me?" "Am I that obvious Sam?",he said with a great sigh. I looked at him intently as I simply shook my head yes. By the way he hedged about, I felt deep inside of me that I really didn't want to hear this next bit. If it were good news, he would have told me straight away. "Sam......there is one other thing. Do you recall the agent that Whitherspoon had imprisoned at his drug factory?" "Why...why yes. The soldiers liberated him sometime ago. Is that correct?" "Yes Sam, quite correct". "Well, Father, what of him?". "Well Sam.....he's coming for the ceremony as well....." "Why that's splendid Father!! I'd love to meet him. But I can't figure out why he'd take an interest in me". These last words were like dragging a mule through quicksand for Father. There was something he wasn't going to enjoy saying. For the longest time, Father seemed to be trying to force out words that refused to leave his lips. I softly put my hand on his to comfort him. "Father, please, your scaring me....what is so bad you can't tell me?" Father looked right into my eyes for a moment, and I could feel the regret in him at what he was about to tell me. "Sam.....the agent....he's...he's Tad's Father..............." I must admit that at hearing these words, I was stunned. Quite stunned. So taken aback that I couldn't think of a thing to say. All I felt was happiness. I felt so much happiness and joy! Tad was going to get his father back! My sweethearts life was going to one hundred percent whole again. I felt so lost in my happiness for Tad that I nearly didn't notice the profuse tears streaming down my face. All I had ever wanted was for my love to be happy, and now it seemed that it was all coming together for him. Not only would he have me, but his familly as well. Father had been talking to me but I just started jumping up and down with glee, laughing, clapping, and crying in the same instance. I came back to earth for a second and then caught a glimpse of father. What in heavens name was still wrong?? He looked so terribly sad, so anguished, that it stopped my cries of joy and looked at him, finally hearing his words. "Sam...haven't you heard a word I've been saying, boy!! Sit now!!!" "B-but....but Father, aren't you happy for him, what's wrong?" "Sam do try to control yourself until I've finished", he implored. Sudenly I was quiet...what more was there.................?" "Sam, Tad's father, in addition to his regular work, was a secret agent for BIU,......" "You mean like Mr. Sledge, Father? But we already know that". "Yes, Sam...quite right. Well,..it was hardly an accident that he happened apon Whitherspoons operations. You see, many years ago, Mr. Winslow and Whitherspoon attended the same university. Mr. Winslow had always been the best at everything and always showing up poor Whitherspoon. They even courted the same young lady, Tad's mother. But, as Witherspoons' lick would have it, she chose Mr. Winslow. Oh,...Whitherspoon was quite bitter,yes. Quite bitter indeed. Well, they graduated soon after and all was forgotten about until the BIU learned of Whitherspoon. Based on their common acquaintance, they asked Mr. Winslow if he would try to infiltrate their gang and perhaps lead them to Whitherspoons operations. Being the person he was, Mr. Winslow agreed, even though they were not the best of friends. He thought he should at least try, for the good of the country, you see. Felt it was his patriotic duty and such, poor fellow. But he turned out to get caught. Once Witherspoon had him captured, he set out to get revenge on Mr. Winslow by destroying his family. Taking his wife, his money, his child, then destroying them all. So bitter was he". Father was now even more silent than before, I could feel the dread in the air. "Father...please go on......" "Well Sam, as you know, he was rescued, thank God, Mrs. Winslow was taken by his Majesty's government, to a sanitarium in the south of France to receive the best of care in rehabilitation. Mr. Winslow is being treated in a Cambridge hospital for malnutrition, exposure, dehydration, etc,. All sorts of nasty little maladies that befell the poor man in captivity. He is now making a full recovery and is coming here in two weeks to attend the party". "Father....I still don't see why you're so upset! I'm getting rather impatient at this point! What is the bloody point?" Father looked me straight in the eyes with a coldness I've never felt before. "Sam....directly after the party, Mr. winslow will be leaving for the south of France to rejoin his wife for what ever time it takes to get her well, and...he's...he's...he's taking Tad with him". It was as if time stood still for me... My world was suddenly still, devoid of light, sound, and air. I felt as if I had gotten hit in the head by five large bricks. The last five words ringing in my ears, over and over. I suddenly felt my ears burn and my stomach churn. My hands shook as i silently stood and walked a few paces away from Father. Not a sound came from Father. He had said quite enough as the messenger of bad news. Suddenly the rage seemed to explode within me, as I battled to keep it all in. I lost.... "Sam.....did you hear me son?". I whirled about on my Father, and for the first time that I can recall, lost my senses. "He's coming here to TAKE HIM!!! NO!!!! I WILL NOT LET IT HAPPEN!! NO, NO, NO.....NEVER!!!! I NEARLY DIED, I PROTECTED HIM, I--I LLOVED HIMM!!!! I MADE A PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT NO ONE....NO ONE WAS GOING TO TAKE HIM FROM ME!!! WHERE WAS HE? HE DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT TAD WHEN HE GOT INVOLVED! HE CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HELL...TAD'S MINE!!! I'M NOT GIVING TAD TO HIM OR ANYONE!!!" I believe at that moment I was delirious with grief,as I screamed and went into a fit of rage, finally running out of words, my voice cracking and the tears burning my eyes, falling to the ground on my knees in a heap, unable to stop my tears. How can I lose him now? I fought for him, I nearly died for him. Standing back up, I turned my tear filled rage on Father. "How....how can you let him do tt--this t t to mmmme? I thought you understood. Now I lose him as you lost Michael. It's not fair!!! IT'S NOT FUCKING, BLOODY FAIR.....HE'S MINE!!!!!". I screached so loud that the birds and squirrels all hid themselves at the terrible sound. The air lterally echoed with my screams, my face burning as the blood rushed and my heart pounded. But it seemed that I had pushed the limit with Father with my last outburst. Never had I seen a look of anger like the one that he displayed at the moment, as he stood slowly to face me. Speaking in his most menacing voice, the look in his eyes said that I dared not speak again, no matter what I felt. YO "SAMUEL HEDGE! HOW DARE YOU USE THAT TONE AND LANGUAGE WITH ME!", he growled through clenched teeth, as his body went stiff and shook with livid anger. "You....will never speak to me in that way again...EVER!!! How dare I think of you as a man, I must have been a fool. Why your still a child! Throwing tantrums and acting like a baby. AND!!!...How dare you insult the name of that beautiful b..... b..boy that I...l.lloved", he said as he too, started again to cry. How sorry I was that I'd hurt Father then. The one person that understood...and I blamed him, as if all this was his intent to hurt me. "Samuel...you've got to try to understand...Tad's father loves him. Loves him as much as I do you, for God's sake. The man just wants his family back. He wants his love back..AND YOU DENY HIM THAT?",he shouted in anger. Father had never shouted at me in that manner, and it stopped me dead. "OH YES...THE GREAT SAMUEL HEDGE...YOU DENY THE MAN HIS FAMILY? JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??". We both stood there, not knowing quite what to say anymore. Then Fathers glare softened, as he opened his arms to me. My resistance came to a crashing halt as I burst into tears yet again and I ran for the warm comfort of my Fathers embrace. There, surrounded by the comforting love of my father, I cried, he cried,we cried. My Father hugged me and held me until we both ran out of tears and just stood..in the garden, holding on to each other, making quite a specticle of ourselves really, should anyone have been watching. Still embracing me, my Father continued, as he'd found his voice again. "Sam,...son, just because his father is taking him, does not mean that you won't see him again. At least....at least he's....still alive. You should be happy for them. Tad will come back to you as a whole person. You do want him to be happy, don't you?.......Sam? Answer me". I lifted my head away from Father and looked up at him as he held my face in his hand, stroking my cheek. "Yes Father...I want him happy...I...just can't stand losing him again..", as my voice trailed off in the realization at what I had just said. "But you're not losing him, Sam! Only letting go for a while. If you don't, he may someday resent you denying him the chance and hate you for it. Sam...If you love him...truly love him...you must make him go. You know he'll do what ever it is that you ask because he loves you so..YOU MUST MAKE HIM GO". I drew a great breath, finally able to rationalize, and looked at Father. Yes sir, you are right. Your always right. Thank God I have you to turn me about sometimes. I must, for his own good. And it may not be for long, right?" "Yes Sam. If your love is meant to be, you must give him this chance. your love must be strong eneough to withstand a test of time". At the hearing of those words..it suddenly dawned on me. I smiled for the first time in an hour or more. "A test of time!!! Of course!! That's what he said!!!! That's what he said!!!!", I suddenly shouted. Poor father was now confused..."Great Guns boy, that's what who said?" "Michael, Father!" "I...I don't quite foll....oh..yes, yes..I recall now......" "Father, one of the last things Michael said to was that our love had to withstand a test of time! I didn't know what he meant then, niether did you. But we do now. He knew....Father, he knew". Father couldn't say another word, simply looking at me and smiling, then looking up and laughing, shaking his head. "Yes...Michael always did have the knack for saying the right thing at the right moment................yes...." I wiped the tears out of my eyes, smiled, and stood erect with my head held high. "Well then so be it. It was meant to be. I'll do it....for us". "Splendid Sam, I knew you'd see the reasoning behind it. But....we musn't let on to Tad. His father wants to surprise him and, then again, if he's given too much time to dwell on it, he may not go for fear of leaving you. Do you understand Sam?" "Not tell him? He'll be upset with me. His temper will....Oh blast, the hell with his bloody temper. I must do it for our good. For us. He'll forgive me once he's calmed down. Father, have you talked with Mr. Winslow, does he know what's happened? Does he know about....about...us?" "Yes Sam, I've spoken with him face to face, while you were 'away'. He knows all that's happened and he feels he owes you a great debt. One that he knows he can never repay. After all, you saved his son's life". "No..Father,....does he know,...you know, about Tad and me, about...." "Does he know how you both feel towards each other? Yes sam. He does." Father's face grew a bit solomn as he spoke. "Sam....not everyone is going to understand, and the majority of the world, I'm afraid, looks down apon people that think as we do, in shame and mockery. Even to the point of causing us grave injury and bodily harm. Sam, I'm afraid that, he wasn't exactly keen on the idea that his son was a,...a..", Father stammered, afraid of saying the word. a word that, until then, had never heard. "A what, Father?". "A Homosexual, Sam. That is the nice and correct thing that one is called when one loves another of the same gender. Oh don't get me wrong, he doesn't hate you, quite the contrary. But he feels perhaps that, given time and growing up, that it may pass". Deep down inside, I knew, I just knew that there may come a time when Tad will grow up and,....and not love me anymore. For that matter, I may grow up feeling the same way. "Father....I'm going to trust in God. After all, Michael said that God had intended us to be together. If it is meant to be that we should love each other, then, no power on earth, not even his Father can stop it. But what I cannot stop is his happiness. That's the one thing I have always dreamed of him having. Tell me Father, what does he look like, Tad's father?" "Hmmmm...let's see. About my height, soft spoken, kindly,with a ready smile, well built. Blond hair, and eyes like...like Tad. Beautiful eyes, just like his son". It sounded as if he were describing a grown version of Tad. Perhaps I might see what Tad will look like when he grows to be a man. The idea intrigued me, I must say. "Then so be it Father, there's really nothing quite left to say about the matter, is there". "That about sums it up Sam. Are you alright now? Is there anything you don't understand, son..." "Yes sir. I'm quite alright now. Father, if you don't mind, I'd.., I'd like to be alone for a bit, to sort myself out". "No son. I quite understand. A man must have some time to himself, now and again", he said as he ran his fingers through my hair, then leand down and kissed my cheek. "Sam,....whatever happens, you do know that I love you, don't you?". I put my arm about Father and squeezed him tightly to me, catching the stench of his cigar smoke which had impregnated all that he wore, in my nose. Funny, in later years, whenever I caught a whiff of cigar smoke, my mind always displayed a picture of Father. "Yes Sir, I know. And Father...? I love you...always". Father smiled the smile of a proud man, lighting up his entire face. "If you should need me Sam, I'll be about, trying to hide from Mother and Annabelle", he laughed. That great booming laugh of his. I won't ever forget that either. I watched Father as he walked away, making his way back up the path to the house. How hard it must have been for him to tell me. He was correct though. I was, by all intents and purposes, still a boy, and not yet a man. I knew that Tad and I had a great deal of growing up to do. In one sad way, Tad had already grown up somewhat, seeing the grimy underbelly of what life had in store for him. Perhaps by letting him go, he would realize total happiness. And deep down in my heart, no matter how hard it may be for me to do, I would have to be strong....for both of us. If he still loved me after he settles his family affairs...well, my arms and my heart would be open for him always. That I knew right then. I sat back down apon the bench, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. The quiet peace of the garden, easing my shaken nerves once again. All at once, the tranquility was shattered once again, as I was startled by approaching foot steps. Immediately my eyes popped open and.... "Aw...Blimey! There, I gone and done it again! I didn't want to wake you mate. Ya' was sleepin' so nice an' all". My heart lept for joy! "SLEDGE!!! I can't beleive your here!!!", I shouted as I ran to embrace this giant of a man. The one friend who's bravery inspired me. True, he was quite imposing, even to say, frightening. But to me, he was the best sight I've seen in days! Awkwardly, this giant swept me up in arms and gave me a crushing hug, being carful not to touch my bad arm. "Ere' now. What's all this mushy stuff about, eh?", he laughed. "I just come t' see how you were gettin' on, is all" "Oh Sledge...I was hoping you'd happen by. Oh I'm fine! A bit slowed down, but I'll make it!" "Ere', that's the way, Lad. I always knew you was a tough one, I did! Well I just wanted to see ya' before I, uhh went on me way". "Where Sledge? Where do you go next?" "Oh, lad, ya' know...I can't tell ya'. But I can tell ya' that, well..., oh I ain't too much w' words an' all, but I wanted ya' to know how brave a lad you are. Never in all me born days, have I seen a bigger act o' bravery, then when you pushed ya' little mate out o'harms way an' got the slug y'self. When you was layin' out on the ground all still like an' bleedin', it was like a part o'me just up an' died w'ya'. An' oh how y' father an' that little mate o' yours went to cryin'! Near broke me heart, it did. Aw...it makes me feel a damn sight better that I leave known' that ya' all up an' about!", he smiled his toothless smile, slapping me hard on the back, almost making me fall over. I loved him!!! "Sledge, can you sit with me a moment? There's a question I need to ask you. Your the only one that would understand", I said getting a serious look on my face. "Sure lad, anythin' f' you. Why the long face now?" Sledge and I sat on the bench and I thought up the right words to ask him. "Sledge, in the moment after I was shot, the only thing I could recall was the gun going off in my hand and the,...blood dripping down his face from the top of his head, and watching him fall dead to the ground. it all happened as if in slow motion, yet all seemed to happen so fast", I said as Sledge looked at me intently, referring to a subject he knew all to well,....death. "Well I was wondering,....I need to know, uhhh.....how...." "How ya' deal w' killin' a man, lad?", he said, finishing the sentence for me. "Yes Sir. No one understands what it feels like. Not Father, not anyone. No one except....you. How do I deal with it?" Sledge looked at me intently with that icey glare of his, searching for the right words. Perhaps searching his own cold past, trying to find the right words. All of a sudden, he did what I least expected him to do.. He started laughing! "I beg your pardon sir! I ask you for help, and you laugh at me? I have no idea how to deal with killing a man, and you laugh?", I shouted, my anger rising. "Oh laddy, y' don't need t'know that...'cause y'ain't never killed a man yet!!!" "Excuse me!!!! Are you telling me I don't know what I saw? What about the gun? The blood? Oh, my, I gasped....He is dead isn't he???? And do be kind enough to stop your laughing!!!", I shouted, clearly quite annoyed. "Oh....oh my yeah lad, the blighters dead all right!! I am sorry f'laughin' at ya', but, uhh,....wasn't you wha' killed 'im. I did!...... Ya' see, you shot 'im w' this gun", he said. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out,...oh my lord...he pulled out the very pistol that I...I used. I felt my hands shake and my stomach turned as I gazed at the instrument of destruction he held. How could he be so casual about this? Didn't he realize how much, even the sight of that thing upset me. "PUT IT AWAY...PLEASE...I CAN'T LOOK!!! I......" "Ere' lad, get a hold o' y'self, now. Y'see y'couldn't even kill a flea w'this gun". "I don't understand. Wha???" "Lad....this is a starters pistol!" "A starters...a what???" "Oh Lord 'ave mercy, lad....A starters pistol! It is used t' start races an' such. It don't fire no bleedin' bullets....at all. Y' couldn't hurt a ruddy flea w'this 'ere pop gun". I just stared at him in dis belief, my mouth hanging open as the flies strolled in and out. "Sam....I fired my gun at the same time you fired yours. Was my bullet killed 'im!!! Now 'eres the topper..everybody thinks y'killed 'im, an' it's got to stay that a way, so's nobody can suspect I was 'ere. In my line o' work, I gots t' be in-cog- nito, ya' see". I was literally in shock as I sat and listened to what he said. Dear God, my gun wasn't a real one after all! I had fired blanks! "So I didn't kill him!!!", I shouted in relief. Stomping my boot on the ground in happiness. "No, no lad. Y'couldn't a' killed a dream w'this thing. Now I knows it mighta' looked real an' such to you. But, things aren't always what they seem, ya' know.....No sireee!!!" His last remark startled me so badly that my mouth hung open and my eyes literally popped out of their sockets. "Wha...what did you just say?" "Eh...,I said... Y'couldn't a' killed a dre..........." "No,No...the last part........." "Oh....just about things not bein' wha' they seem? What I say wrong? You look a bit peaked, are ya' feelin' alright lad?" I shook my head as I thought for a moment. I couldn't explain this to him. He would have thought me absolutely daft. Oh...this was all too much...Michael was right...everything he said...I REALLY HAD BEEN THERE!!!! "I say, lad...are ya' alright? Y' not talkin', just a shakin' y'head". I looked back at him and I had to laugh to myself. It was all coming to be, as per devine plan. Sledge looked at me as though I had taken leave of my mind. Think fast Sam....... "Oh...yes, yes I'm quite alright, thank you Sledge. It's just that a friend, a very dear friend had said the same thing to me earlier. the conicedence just struck me funny. I'm sorry if I scared you". "Wha...SCARED?....ME???? Why I never been scared o' nothin' in me whole ruddy life. I was,.....well...concerned, s'all". After a moment of silence between us, Sledge rose and looked down at me, shaking his head and smiling. "Y' gonna be alright now lad. It's all over with. Now you two can go back t' bein' boys again". I didn't look at him, I couldn't. It wasn't over with. "Sledge, there's going to be a bloody party and every thing to honor us. Then Tad's going to...." The words cought in my throat as the tears once again burned at my eyes, and my lips tightened as I tried to hold them back. "Ah yes...the bloomin' party. I here'd tell about that piece o' business. Should be right smashin'. All them fine folk an' his majesty t'boot". Sledge put his bear paw of a hand on my shoulder as I could only stare out at the garden. "Yeah lad. I knew about his father, I did. Why the man's on of the bravest blokes I ever met. Here now, why the blubberin'? After all, the man needs to 'ave his family back. Aw, I know..losin' y' best mate an' all. But look at it this way. When that mate o' yours comes back t'ya', he'll be a happier lot, he will. It's all for the best y'know. You'll see, before long he'll be back an' you two can pick up right where y' left off. Your one lucky lad y'know. I wish I had me a mate as good as 'im when I was a lad like y'self. I had no one. Sam...y' got to be strong. I knows your a right strong boy, so I knows y' can handle it. Be strong, f' both o'you". He was right of course. I did have to be strong. Strong for the both of us. And...if Michaels prophacy was true, it wouldn't be forever. He'd be back in my life. But...after being seperated....would he still love me or would we be merely friends? Then again, would I still love him? "Sledge?", I said, finally finding my voice again. "Will you be there, at the party? I mean...you are one of my dearest friends and...." "Y'know lad, I would love t'be, but....", he sighed deeply,"I've got me another assignment. Some other bad blokes needs watchin' an people needs savin'. Besides, theres no place f' the likes o'me with all them fancy folk an' such. Why it would be like all them's a black tuxedo, an' I'm a pair o' brown shoes. As a matter o' fact, I'm on me way now. But I couldn't leave without sayin' g'bye t' me best mate". "Me????? Your best mate????" "Yeah lad...you", he said smiling and sticking out a bear paw for me to shake. I looked at his hand, outstretched in a final farewell, and I knew that I'd never see this great, ugly, giant again. In just a short time he'd become my savior and protector. Only I knew that inside this great hulking, fearsome creature, lurked a pure, loving heart of gold. His ugly face was one I was truly going to miss. "I'm afraid sir, that a handshake won't be enough", as my good arm flew about him, as his great, strong arms wrapped themselves about me, and I hugged him for all I was worth. After a moment, he leaned back, picking my chin up with his finger. Was I dreaming? No!!!, I could actually see a bit of mist gathered in those cold steely eyes. Eyes that have witnessed a thousand mis deeds by men of frightful character. Eyes that have seen death, over and over. Eyes that now betrayed his innermost feelings. "Oh lad...now ya' gone an' done it. Lemme go now, before I start t' blubberin' like some school boy, eh? Mind you...if I ever here's it that you been doin' bad things, 'ole Sledge'll be back an' give ya' what for", he said, pointing his finger at me. "I love you Sledge. Thank you". He simply shook his head at me in acknowledgement, turned, and walked silently back up the path and out of sight. That was the last time I would ever see him again. It wasn't until many years later that I learned his fate. It seems that two years later, in April of 1912, he was following a man suspected to be the ring leader of a diamond smuggling operation. He followed him on board a ship bound for the United States. A ship called Titanic. It was reported that on the night of April the 14th, 1912, he saved the lives of five children that had been seperated from their mother in the chaos of the ship's distress, by bribing the crewman loading an already overloaded life boat to let them aboard. Why did'nt that surprise me? Dear, dear Sledge......I still miss him to this very day. I sat back apon the bench, mulling over the irony of what Sledge had told me. So.....I hadn't killed Whitherpuss after all. Great guns...a bloody starters pistol! That silly twit risked everything for a bloody starters pistol! I just shook my head and laughed to myself. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, inhaling the sweet warm summer air mixed with the scent of a thousand blooms in the garden. The birds, once again chirping their silly little tunes. So relaxing,....so peacefull................ I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, I was being awakened by two little hands covering my eyes. Immediately I recognized the familiar touch of those sweet, soft hands. "Guess who????", came a sweet voice whispering in my ear. "Uhhhhh.....Is it Rodger? Uhhhh....Peter? Uhhhh...Oh I know..It's Gwendolyn!!". "Wh!!!! What??? Who's Gwendolyn???? Samuel Hedge! And who's Peter and Rodger??? Samuel Hedge! So help me,.....Ohhh,YOU'RE MOCKING ME AGAIN!!". Well, I couldn't help it. He was so adorable when he was angry. I doubled over in laughter at how easily I had gotten his goat, as he walked around to where I could see him with his arms folded defiantly before him. "I don't believe I shall ever forgive you", he pouted. Oh god his face was so beautiful when he pouted. It was enough to stifle my laughter, as I became lost in those sweet eyes again. The way his bottom lip stuck out when he got this way, and his head cocked to one side. "Sit...", I said as I patted the bench beside me. "Why? I'm still angry with you!" "Please????", I begged, pouting to him as well. It took but a moment for his resistance to crumble as he sat on the bench, but continued to playfully ignore me. Still pouting, I put on my best puppy dog eyes, as he looked at me for only a second through the corner of his eyes, arms still folded. He` wasn't really angry, he just wanted me to convince him, and I knew how. "I'm sorry...", I whimpered sheepishly. "No you're not. You just want to make me jealous, don't you? You think it's funny when I get angry!" "No I don't.....",I said putting my arm around him. "Yes you do!" "No!" "Yes!" "No....I think your beautiful", I said as I leaned my face down and and started nuzzling his neck behind his ear. As I did so I could smell the sweet scent of him that drove me mad, as his golden locks tickled my nose. The warmth of his strong body so close to me, making me forget everything except this lovely boy next to me, as I started to leave a small trail of little kisses down his neck as he tried in vain to scold me, while I felt him squirm from the little shivers that started to run up and down his spine. "You don't think I'm anything, you only want to get me....get me...angry, and.....and.....", his words trailed off as his breathing increased it's tempo, his eyes closing languidly and I knew he was mine once again. Reaching my hand up to his chin, I pulled his face around to look at me as his sweet burning eyes opened and drove straight to my heart. Slowly, he smiled at me, his arms coming about my neck. "You're just lucky that I am so crazy in love with you",he whispered warmly before pulling our faces together, locking his sweet lips with mine. Our mouths opened and I tasted his sweet tongue once again as he whimpered in my arms. Oh dear me, I thought. How was I ever to keep him from knowing what I now knew? How was I ever to be without his sweet embraces and kisses. How can I ever expect to keep my heart...... from breaking. I needed to be near him. Needed to hold his warmth next to me and feel his breathing apon my lips. As long as we were apart, I knew that I would no longer be whole. It seemed as if Tad and I were in essence the two pieces of medallion that father had given me. Together, we were but as one. Whole, and one and the same. Apart, merely two pieces, each unable to be complete without the other. Tad broke our embrace for a moment and looked deep into my eyes questioningly. "Sam....is there something wrong? Are you upset about something?" Blast....he knew I was upset. I should have known that he, of all people, would be able to see through my attempts at covering up. My own body was giving me away. I musn't let on. Not now. "Wrong? Wh...why no..it's..Well maybe I am still just a bit tired after all I've been through". Again he searched deep into my eyes, but at long last decided to accept my explanation. I felt like such an oaf, lying to him. I should have known he'd be able to see through me. I only prayed that, when the time came, that he didn't hate me. I would have no use for life at all in that event. Somehow, for both of us...I had to be strong. Yes....I had to be! It was the only way. The only right way.................for both of us.... Strong...........had to be strong.......... "Well then, come on back to the house, and I'll get us something to eat". "I'm really not hungry, sweetheart. Can you just sit and hold me a while longer?" "Anytime!!!", he said as he smiled and cuddled up under my arm, sighing contentedly. As we sat silently in the garden, the birds chirped, the squirrels foraged and played, and two boys sat and loved each other. How I hated myself at that moment. I had been furious with him for lying to me. And now......Oh god Tad. Please don't...h..hate me.......