Tales from another broken home.

We are, We are the shaking.
We are the monsters, underneath your bed.
We are, We are mistaken.
We are the voices, inside your head.
And we let you see.

From "Monsters." By Matchbook Romance.

The christmas music filled the classrooms, shopping malls and homes that I occupied. Christmas was here, it was screaming for attention among a host of other priorities. I had things to get done before we left for Boston that night. I wanted Ryan to forgive me, to be my friend. I wanted to talk to him, talk the way we used to talk. I wanted to see Matt and give him his present. I had to find something for my Mam and Mike. This search had lead me to the mall. I walked through various shops and couldn't find anything that was good enough for her. As I was walking out, there was a man sitting on the street surrounded by paintings. They were amazing pictures of Mothers and Babies. I went straight over paid $20 and walked away with a Christmas present that was just right.

I had cleared one thing from the list but two things still remained and one of them would be incredibly hard to complete. I walked to Ryan's and knocked on the door. His Mother answered with her usual smile.

"Hey Riley, I haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah I've been real busy."

"Ok well he's up in his room. He's been real depressed lately maybe you could talk to him."

I slowly made my way up the steps towards Ryan. When I reached the landing I could see him sitting on his bed with a book.

"Hey."

Ryan look startled but smiled at me none the less.

"Hey stranger."

I walked into his room and we hugged. I still loved him. I hoped he still loved me. But for now this is were we were.

"I'm sorry I didn't call over sooner. I just didn't know if you wanted to see me."

"Just cuz I was angry with you doesn't mean I don't want to see you ever again."

"I know. Things have been kinda crazy lately."

"Yeah you've got a cute guy to occupy you."

"I meant to tell you about that. You shouldn't have had to have heard about him from someone else."

"It's ok Riley. He seems cool. I don't blame you for moving on."

"That's the thing man. I haven't really moved on. I mean Matt came out of nowhere. I hadn't planned on finding someone new, he just kinda found me. But I'd leave him in a second for you."

Ryan smiled. "You know you shouldn't be saying that."

"Probably not."

"I need time Ri. I need to figure a lot of stuff out. I need to do it by myself."

I sat back on the bed with him and we talked for a while. It was still early, two p.m, I had another six hours before we had to leave for the airport. I said my goodbye's to Ryan and we even kissed each other on the cheek. As I walked away from his house my thoughts still lingered on him. I walked towards Matt's. I had his present in my bag. I had made him a mixed cd and then designed a cover for it myself and I got him a cool tshirt aswell. I knocked on his door.

"Go round the back door." Came a shout

I went round the back and through the glass porch door. I felt odd, something wasn't right. I just felt a restless feeling in my stomach. I stepped into the house and walked through the doorway into Matt's kitchen. As I walked through the doorway someone rushed me from the side and I fell to the ground. My head smashed off the floor tiles and I seemed to dissapear for a second.

"Hello there." Hissed a voice.

The mixture of raw anger and fear flowed from the voice through my body.

"Who are you."

"I am the boy with a thousand face, a thousand masks for the world to see."

"What?" I was confused and not sure what I was hearing.

"I am the boy behind the mask, the one the world must not see."

I felt fresh waves of fear flow over me. Who was this person.

"I'm the boy. His story untold. I'm what remains. Bitter and cold."

Who was this person? What did they want with me? Why did they shout these strange rhymes at me? I was free to move but paralyzed by my own fear.

"WHO ARE YOU?"

"How can you forget the boy?" The voice was closer then before and from behind the doorway out stepped Jake.

"Jake, What's going on?"

"You betrayed me."

"What? How?"

"You revealed what was really there. You gave me to the world so they could stop and stare."

"Jake what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take from you what was taken from me. I'm here to regain a little pride, a little dignity."

"What?"

Jake smacked me hard across the back of the head.

"Do as I say and you won't get hurt."

"What do you want?"

Jake pushed me up against the kitchen counters and ran the smooth, cold steel of a kitchen knife over my throat.

"Don't make a sound. That's what he said. Be quiet. Be a good little boy Jake."

"Please Jake. What are you going to do?"

"BE A GOOD BOY JAKE. BE QUIET."

Thin tears started to trickle down my face. I was so scared I didn't know what to do. Jake was insane and he obviously wanted to hurt me.

"Oh go on and cry Jake. YOUR SO FUCKING PATHETIC."

Jake pushed the knife harder against my throat.

"Don't make a sound."

I felt Jake lower my trousers and boxers and it was then that the realisation hit me.

"Please Jake. Please don't."

"Shut up. Do you think I want to do this? Do you think I want to be married to your fucking mother? I'm doing what I have to do."

I could feel him enter me. Every second a further invasion of my last sanctuary, my body. Tears flowed down my cheeks and I tried to phase him out. His insane screams and cries. He began to sob at one point but I couldn't focus on him. I had distanced myself from him when I saw Matt enter the room in the corner of my eye. The look of shock and fear in his face hit me like a cruel blow. I watched as he grabbed a frying pan and crept slowly towards Jake. I could sense his every footstep and my eyes closed as he came closer. I heard the dull thud and I felt his arms wrap around me.

"Riley. Are you ok man? What's going on?"

"I..I...nothing happened okay? Nothing happened."

"What do you mean Riley?"

"Nothing happened here. You understand nothing happened."

As I tried to phase out from what Matt was saying, I turned to see Jake creeping out the backdoor. He smiled at me as he walked out and just as he took his last step he turned and pointed at me. I fell to the ground and began to scream. Screams of pure terror escaped from my very soul as I tried to cast him from my body. I was no longer me. What I was had been taken, stolen, changed. I walked straight out of Matt's and made my way home. Matt followed me but I got to the door first and locked it. I ignored his knocks and his pleas for me to let him in. I couldn't trust him. I couldn't trust anyone. They were all out to get me. Chris, Jake, Matt, Ryan, Mike. Everyone was a threat and I would just have to get them before they get me.

I laughed to myself and began to set plans in my head. Life was going to be ok when I was safe. I just had to make sure everyone who was going to hurt me was gone.