Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2005 12:58:42 -0400 From: Dwedno Smith Subject: Chapter 48, Tunnel dwednomail@hotmail.com http://www.paddedroom.us/ (for all my other stuff together) Hi all, Another wonderful week of chatting and e mails from lots of you. Thanks. I think I can cancel the alert. LOL It seems like between me being able to get weekly updates out and there being a little spice added to the chapters quite a few people are content with or very excited with the way things are. I will do my best to keep this going as long as I can on a weekly basis from here on out. Time will tell. Meanwhile enjoy the story and I promise everyone will have their e-mail replied to but the end of the weekend if you havent already since I was bombed with a lot. I also wanted to note that I have spend some time writing back a few of you and wound up with bad e mail addresses. Please make sure if you want to hear from me that you are sending from an e mail address that I can reply to. In closing the padded room site is back up and working well. The latest chapter has been on there since Thursday night but I didnt have a way to inform everyone until now. This should happen every week (day of the week will be approximate not always Thurs. night) that there is going to be a new chapter from now on... so if you want a peak in advance you can always go to: http://www.paddedroom.us/ and see what is available to read from me (eventually all my stories will be there) and the other writers on that site. ALSO note the address is not ".com " its ".us " hopefully I didn't confuse anyone with all the dots... people have told me they can't find it and it wound up being they were looking for a .com address. Again thanks for one of my best weeks of writing and being able to enjoy all the e mails and all of you EVER.... till next week or sooner on padded.... Dwedno. Chapter 48. Burying a family member and moving on. A refresh for all just so you know who is who in the story and I can keep the confusion down to a minimum. Tommy (TJ)- Our storyteller and hero? The main character. Jon- One of Tommy's lovers and a lead character in the story. Shawn- Our cutie and Tommy's love. The real one he loves the innocent boy. Kyle- Tommy's brother and future love interest of..someone. Danny- A neighbor and cutie of Tommy's who is still too young to know enough. Christian- Danny's brother and the youngest member in the story so far. Billy- A neighbor and good kid who has battled some problems but survived so far. Joey- The local druggie (J/K) another neighbor who needed some place to live safely Luke- One of the newer boys that was found out of town in trouble by Tommy. Patches- Luke's dog. Benjy- Also found with Luke and by Luke, They came here with Tommy together. Jordan- Zachary's twin and new to the story. We have lots to learn about him. Zachary- Jordan's twin and also new to the story. Will he be trouble or a good boy? Jeremy- The newest sexual interest to the story and full of spit and vinegar. Trevor- Deceased young troublemaker who didn't understand what Gay was. Robert- A brief troublemaker who brought Trevor to his demise. If I missed someone let me know otherwise this is a brief explanation of the characters in this story as requested by a reader. For more information on past characters go to chapter 35 and it should answer other questions about them, if it doesn't please e mail me and I will gladly help. AND NOW ON WITH THE STORY.. We arrived home about twenty minutes later and I parked the truck while everyone else stood watching as Kyle, Jon and I took Trevor's body out and carried it into the back yard. Kyle went and got some shovels and we started digging his grave in the back of the property. Kyle told me that while they walked back everyone agreed that burying him back there was the right thing to do so we began to dig the hole six feet deep for his broken body to have its final resting place. We left Robert tied to the tree for now, he can't go anywhere and we'll get him after we bury our friend and then it will be up to the boys how he gets his punishment as far as I am concerned. Just the three of them are going to decide not everyone since only they were abused by him. It's getting late so it might have to wait until morning but I have a feeling something is going to wind up shoved up his ass quite a ways if I let Jeremy have his way. How can I really stop him or the twins? After all I wasn't raped repeatedly by him they were. Its going to be a private thing I think, we don't need everyone there for that. I am only going to keep things in check or incase something stupid happens. I don't really even want Jon or Ky there. They might not like it but this time I am pulling rank if I have to. The three of us began digging Trevor's hole while everyone else watched. Kyle, Jon and myself began and after a bit Billy, Danny and Joey took over. We worked in shifts until we were deep enough, about an hour or so later. It was getting late and I was exhausted and sure we were all feeling the same and starving by now too. The new boys were hanging in there out of respect but I knew if I were this hungry I couldn't imagine how they felt. Even if he occasionally fed them scraps for the time they were there I could see the look on this faces now and was pretty sure they craved something decent to eat. I went in to take a leak and the clock said 5pm and we had about an hour of daylight left at best. I think we are all going out tonight to eat I don't feel like messing the house anymore then necessary with no want to clean up tonight after this. We'll see later. Anyway I headed back outside and they told me we were deep enough. Danny and Joey were in the hole lifting the last two buckets of dirt out. Everyone looked like they needed a shower that was involved in digging his grave so there was little doubt we wouldn't eat immediately after this. We were ready. Finally Jon and I grabbed the blanket with Trevor in it and I opened the upper half once more so we could each have our final moment with him. He was still naked and I am going to bury him that way with just the blanket but now he was also pretty stiff too I found out as I reached out to touch him one last time. He now has a blue color to him too. We all said our last goodbyes to our friend one at a time in private. I looked at Shawn and this time he came over to me and asked me for a second alone with Trevor and actually went over alone. He gave him a look without me next to him for support as I watched him closely and then leaned over and from where I was standing it looked like he kissed him good bye. A few seconds later turned and as tears ran down his face he came back over to me and cried in my arms. As soon as I had him under control I went back over and I covered him back up and then Jon and I gently placed him in the ground while everyone cried in the background. There wasn't a dry eye as you could understand. I said a small prayer, the only one I knew somewhat out loud and made the sign of the cross as we started throwing dirt on his body. Ten minutes later the hole was filled and the crying was louder for a bit. Eventually everyone calmed down and we all went inside to clean up. "Tomorrow we will find a headstone for him guys." I announced as we all entered the house. It was dark now and I took Kyle and we went up and took all of Trevor's things out of his room and everyone else pitched in and helped carry it to the basement so one of the boys could move in after we were done. Then we got ready to head back to the bastards house while the others began to get cleaned up. Jon fed the boys something light to hold them over and make them a little more comfortable as the showers began for those who weren't totally hungry yet. The three angels sat and almost ate the plates in front of them before Jon put something really edible in front of them. We left right after they ate so I could make sure for myself that they were all okay for the moment and then we headed back there so I could get my guns and we could make sure Robert was properly tied up for the night while he was left alone somewhere inside his house. We'll figure that out when we get there. Kyle got in the truck with me and I warned him about what could happen when we got there. "Look Ky, I don't want this guy killed, I want him to get everything coming to him from the boys tomorrow. Also it's just going to be me and the three boys tomorrow because I want it to be a private matter without an audience." "That's fine TJ because I really didn't want to see anything that they might want to do to him. I am not into that kind of stuff." "I understand." I drove up to the house quietly, I didn't know what was on his mind but I was still thinking about Trevor. I shined my high beams and turned on all the other lights on the truck towards the tree where we left him tied. He lifted his head and looked our way for a second and then dropped his head back down. Kyle pulled his gun just incase something happened and he accidentally got loose while we were gone and was faking it. He held it on him while I went downstairs to get my two pistols. I was back in a minutes and I untied him from the tree and warned him that if he wanted pain to try something otherwise he wouldn't be hurt for now. I led him into the house and to a room I assumed was his bedroom on the first floor. I uncuffed him while Kyle held the gun on him and made him lay on the bed. "Can I ask one thing of you before you cuff me for the night?" "I guess." I said to him. "I know you don't want to do anything for me but could I at least use the bathroom before you leave me alone and cuffed all night?" I looked at Kyle and he just shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care. "Yes but with the door open and the gun on you incase you try something stupid." "That's fine with me Thomas. I might actually enjoy you watching me go to the bathroom." Sick bastard! I led him to the bathroom and unlocked his handcuffs and for the first time since I knocked him out earlier he was free to do his business. He dropped his draws like no one was there and sat on the toilet and did his thing looking at me occasionally and making gestures to me like I might want to get close enough to join in. Now I could tell you explicitly how that went but I don't see anything gained by details of his potty run and so on. When I pointed my gun at him he went back to taking care of business. When he was done I made him wash his hands which might have been the first time in a while he had a clean body part from the odor he emitted from his filthy body. I pointed to his bedroom and he walked in without a problem. I didn't know if it was two guns pointed at him that was making him behave or the fact that he thought he might have a plan and was waiting for the proper moment. "On the bed face up!" I demanded. He did as told without question. His bed had metal bars on it for a head rest and it made things a lot easier since I didn't quite know what I was going to do to keep him in it for the night. I took one pair of handcuffs and tightened them on his wrist and then to the bar on the upper left side, then I moved around and did the same to his right arm without a problem. Lucky for me this guy was into handcuffs and he had several pairs in his room. He basically made it easy for himself to be confined tonight. For his legs I got rope and tied each ankle down and underneath the bed so he had some room to move but none to get up or do any kind of back flip or get out of the bed. We were done. I told him we would be back tomorrow for his very own personal treat. For good measure I got in his face and looked him in the eye. "I hope whatever they do to you tomorrow feels as good as you made them feel because as far as I am concerned after burying Trevor you could just lay here and rot away for all I care." "Oh Thomas that's so nice of you to say." He said to me with still a smug look on his face. I turned to leave; I was hungry and tired of his stench. "Thomas?" I stopped and turned to him once more. "One more thing before you go." I looked at him. "What?" "Would you pull my pants down and jerk my cock off so I can cum on you, you fucking teenage queer? You know you want me and so do I!!" I walked back over to him and looked at him, "I wouldn't touch your naked cock with a glove and ten foot pole but I will do this for you!" I reached out and took hold of his balls through his pants almost like he did to Jeremy while I stood there watching him squeeze them until the poor boy collapsed. I did the same to him practically knocking the wind out of him and actually making him scream before I let go. "That's what I think I owe you for your smart ass comments to me and doing that to Jeremy and most of all for killing Trevor! You deserve that much and more!" I made a fist and punched him square in the face immediately causing his nose to bleed. "That's all I am gonna give you, you rat bastard son of a bitch! I hope that Jeremy enjoys shoving a pole so far up your ass you can taste wood tomorrow!" I turned and shut off the light leaving him in total darkness and walked out with Kyle behind me. "Don't you think you went a little too far Tommy?" Kyle said to me as we shut the door leaving his house. I stopped and looked at Kyle. "Kyle I don't know if I went too far or not far enough. I am sorry if I upset you in there but he just makes my blood boil. and to answer your question think of this. How did you feel when you looked at Trevor and when we were throwing dirt on him and burying him before as the tears rolled down yours and my faces?" He didn't say another word. I put my arm around him as we walked back to the truck he gave me a hug before he got in. "You are right bro he is a monster but I guess I just hate violence on anyone." "I know Ky I don't like it either but if we hate it imagine what Jeremy, Jordy and his brother went through along with Trevor." He just shook his head. I took off and headed back to the house so we could clean up and go eat with everyone else. We arrived back quickly and we were greeted at the door by everyone curious to know how it went. I filled them in on what I wanted them to know and not what I did to him and told them I was going to shower and then we were gonna go eat. I went to my room as Kyle did the same and stripped down and got in the shower. I wasn't in the mood for any play so I just washed and got out a few minutes later. When I left the shower and came back into my room Shawn yelled out he was here so I wouldn't jump from not knowing. "What's up cutie?" "You know! I want to know if you are okay TJ." "Since I really don't know cutie I really can't tell you much. I just feel sorta numb all over." "You mean you are hurt?" "No Shawnee, it's a saying when you are so confused and hurt that you don't know how to act. You just say you are numb all over." "Oh, you had me scared for a second I thought you were hurt." "I am fine love, just hurt here," I pointed to my heart and Shawn nodded his head yes in agreement. I took off my towel and dried off the rest of my lower body as Shawn watched me and then I walked over to him and kissed him on top of his head like I usually do when I want to make him feel good. "Love you so much cutie!" "I know TJ and I love you too. Please don't ever let something like that happen to you or any of us again okay?" I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. I was completely naked and at a loss for words at the same time. A rarity if any. I gathered my thoughts and walked over to him. "Shawn I feel terrible about what happened today to Trevor and I was holding him in my arms when he died. I wish I could have made him better but I am only a teenager who is trying to keep us all safe and sometimes things happen that are out of my hands. I will do anything I can to protect all of us including sacrifice myself if I have to, to keep you or Kyle or any of the boys out of harm, but I can only do so much when something stronger then me comes along like it kinda did today." "But you are our protector Tommy." "I know sweetie I will always do my best but you have to understand. you and I, we are just human and this stuff happens. We can't control it we can only try and do our best when something bad happens. You're ten now Shawn you should know that." "I do Tommy, I do. I wasn't trying to upset you I just wanted to let you know I still think you are strong and would do anything to keep us safe. I just don't know why this had to happen to Trevor, seeing him looking so bad like that. I just want to cry again. He looked so bad Tommy. Did I look that bad the night you found me?" "No cutie you just looked scared and messy. You didn't look that bad." "Good because I didn't feel that good and I still am glad you found me or I might be with Trevor now." I looked at him. "Don't ever say that again Shawnee okay? Please. I don't know what I would do if I found you like I found Trevor today. Now please let's stop talking about this it's too sad and I don't want to lose my appetite I am starving." I got dressed while Shawn watched and waited and we left and headed down together. Everyone was waiting and we headed out together and got in the truck and headed down the hill to look for a place to eat. I offered the twins the chance to pick the food and they thought about it for a few seconds before almost speaking up at the same time and asking for the same thing. It was eerie but hey, they are twins. "We want burgers and fries!" they said. "Okay so that is what we will have." I headed to the burger joint and we all piled into Burger King after we checked the building. I went in to fire up some meat and defrost some buns on the grill. I was glad I froze everything last time we were here or there wouldn't be any semi fresh buns for the meat. I dropped a bunch of fries and started making burgers with Jon's help and in about fifteen minutes we were just about ready to eat. I watched as the twins ate three burgers each and a lot of fries and drank what looked like a gallon of soda each. Then the burping began like it had other times and it was followed by giggles and laughter as we sorta got back to some level of normalcy. Somewhere close to an hour later we were all full and ready to leave as Jordy got up and literally ran into the bathroom. I followed just to make sure he was all right but when I got in there he was puking up his food. The only thing I could think of was he either ate too much or too fast because so far no one else even looked sick. When he was done he looked at me. I handed him a few wet towels and he got up off the floor and wiped himself off. "I think I ate too much Tommy. Sorry." "Its okay Jordy, you don't have to be sorry. I just want you to feel better." "I do now. But I guess with Robert hardly feeling us for so long I ate too much too fast huh?" "I guess so. You seem to be okay now." "Yeah I feel better too." We walked out of the bathroom and Zack was at the door waiting to see how his brother was. They talked privately for a second and then joined us as we all left the burger joint together. "Okay Shawn why don't you tell Zack, Jordy and Jeremy what happens after we eat out." He looked at me and smiled. "ICE CREAM!" I didn't have to say a word the truck was too loud to hear anything anyway with the cheer that went up after Shawn said that. I headed to the ice cream parlor and parked the truck. They took off like a bunch of crazy kids as I screamed for them to wait. They had forgotten about our number one rule in all the craziness of the day. Luckily Kyle didn't forget and had his gun out already as he checked out the store before we went in. It was fine and before long I was scooping cones and cups like it was the last time ever for ice cream almost like every time we go. We all ate and filled up any extra space that we had left in our belly with ice cream. Jordy had a little fearing he might puke again but this time he was okay. I set a place for Trevor and put out a scoop of his favorite flavor as a remembrance of him and we all said our own little private thing before we finished and piled back into the truck. It was a nice gesture but still hurt to do it and then we headed home. I was beat and stuffed with many other feelings running through my head after today's disaster and all I wanted was bed but we still need to set up the rooms for our new guests. Trevor's room was available now sadly and we had one room left that no one ever took. We got back and after a few minutes I pulled the boys aside as a group and quickly explained some things to them about how we live and individual responsibilities for helping keep the place neat and so on. All three understood and the twins decided to sleep in the same room for now at least as I pretty much figured they would. They took the empty room that just happened to have twin beds in it from before we moved in and Jeremy took Trevor's room. If everything goes well tomorrow we can either go shopping or take them back to their own houses for some of their personal stuff after we take care of Robert. Either way it's going to be a long day again tomorrow. It was time for them to clean up now and I had little doubt the showers would feel good. We gave them clean clothes earlier but didn't have time for them to shower even though it would have been better to do it then but I didn't have the heart to make them wait any longer to eat so a little stink could wait a few more hours to wash off. Jeremy went to his room to set up what little he had and I told him I would be in shortly to talk to him privately about things. Then I followed the twins into their room and shut the door. "Have a seat boys." Both sat on the lower bed and I grabbed a desk chair and sat across from them. "Okay I didn't want to tell you both in front of everyone just so you would have time to let this sink in. You're both twelve so you should understand what I am about to say." They nodded their heads and looked at me. "We live here as a group and although it might not be what you guys were used to most of the rules are set by all of us and I oversee the house and try to keep things in order." Jordy looked like he wanted to say something. "You have a question?" "Yeah, I couldn't help but notice but all you guys seem very close like more then family." "Yes we are. I was about to explain that." "Oh okay, sorry I interrupted you." "Don't be sorry. Ask anything anytime you want. Now I want both of you to know that in this house we have a lot of private things that go on and we have just as many things that happen out in the open. Things that you might not like or might enjoy a lot but the most important thing both of you need to know is most of us are gay or unsure what of we want. Since there is nothing but boys so far you have a choice. boy or nothing either is fine in this house." They looked at each other and giggled. Then back at me without saying anything. "I don't know if that will bother either of you but I wanted you to know it incase you see someone walking around naked, which happens rarely but it happens. or Shawn clinging to my side. Just so you both know Shawn and I are very close and so are Jon and I. I saved Shawn's life too and you can ask Shawn about it one day and he will tell you what he went through. It was almost the same as what happened to you guys but with him it was two men." They looked shocked that this happened to someone else too. Then there was a pretty long silence followed by. "You mean you guys have sex?" asked Zack. "Yes we do." Again they looked at each other but said nothing then Jordy looked at me. "Kewl!" He said. I looked at him. "So you are okay with us being gay?" I asked. "Sure we are." Zack reached out and covered his mouth as he was about to say more and hushed him. "Why did you do that Zack?" "I'm not ready to talk about it yet Tommy. Jordy is more open then I am about stuff but when the time is right we will tell you what we want you to know, okay?" "Sure guys that fine. Anyway there are bathrooms all around the house as you will learn and I have a full one in my room. If you need to use it just knock on my door, ya know incase the others are being used. Kyle also has one in his area of the house. With so many others in the house sometimes the wait is pretty long and occasionally someone uses my shower." I got up to go, I stopped at the door. "You guys need anything let me know. Tomorrow after we take care of Robert I would like to take you guys home to your real house so you can get anything you want and bring it back here." The both smiled. "That would be awesome, said Zack, thanks Tommy." I turned to go. "You guys go get a shower now I am sure after being in that place you want to get as much dirt off you as possible." "Thanks Tommy!" one of them yelled as I shut their door. I heard some talking inside before I walked away and I was sure they were talking about what Jordan wanted to say to me. It looks like Zack is the controlling twin. Well not a boss, you know the brother that seems to make more of the choices. I guess. I am sure in time things will come out but I have my suspicions. I went to Jeremy's room and knocked on his door. "Come in." I entered and he was buck naked with his back to me. "Gee Jeremy, thanks for the view." He turned to me and showed off his awesome front. He even looked bigger in full light. "Guess you don't have a problem with being naked do you?" "Me? Nope never did which is part of why Robert got me in his house." "Huh?" I asked. I stood there as he began telling me his story. "I was raised with three other boys and my parents didn't have a problem with nakedness. So it never bothered me to be without clothes. We lived two houses away from where Robert moved in and occasionally before I realized he was into guys he would come around when my parents weren't home. My brothers were older; I was the youngest so usually no one was home but me. One time he came over while I was in the pool and it was early evening. I was swimming with my trunks off but on the edge of the pool incase my parents came home or someone came by I could easily slip them on but I loved the feel of water on me with no clothes on so I used to do it as much as I could. Our backyard is pretty private so you couldn't tell or see much unless you came into the backyard. Anyway I looked up and saw Robert standing there at the open gate watching me and after the initial shock wore off from him surprising me I felt just a little embarrassed from the shock. "Yeah I bet. I said to him. Did he see you naked then?" "No, not then but it was close." "Okay." Anyway I saw him and he wasn't making a move to leave so after the shock wore off I felt like teasing and a little payback for him being there when he didn't belong, on our property so I climbed up the ladder out of the pool and stood just above the edge of the pool exposing myself to him. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw me and I kinda figured the rest out from there. I was twelve then and I was big for my age about six inches erect and maybe four soft. I was a little smaller then I am now when I am erect. I could tell he was bragging but I didn't care he was totally naked in front of me telling me all this while I got a full view of him! Why should I feel bad about what Robert got to see? He continued. Also when I was in the pool alone it felt so good swimming naked that occasionally it would make me grow so I had plenty to show." I was completely mesmerized by his tale and was growing myself watching the naked boy standing in front of me tell his story to me like we knew each other forever. "So anyway, he continued. he got a look at me with my semi-hard-on and once his eyes went back into his head he cleared his throat and asked me if I swam that way often. I said yes as I slid slowly back into the water out of view other them my head. Our pool is five feet deep so I could look out easily but he couldn't see anymore of me and he suddenly got this look on his face like something died when he lost view of my lower half. That pretty much started him on his apparent journey towards getting me to his house. I wasn't stupid I knew what I did got him excited, after all he lived there for a few months before that meeting at the pool and I was alone a lot so I sorta spied on him when I could and I just kinds figured out the rest on my own from seeing guys around his house a lot." "You mean he was having guys over all the time for sex?" I asked. "I guess. I never got too close just incase he was. I didn't trust him at all." "I see you were right not to trust him. So how did he get you if you knew he was bad?" "Like I said I would tease and walk past his house with real short shorts on when he was outside. Just not onto his property. or I would ride my bike out in the street and wiggle my ass at him sometimes. I had a dark summer tan too and I knew I was totally getting to him but I didn't think I could do something that would set him off that way or I would have never looked at him! I wasn't an angel that's for sure! Then when the comet struck or whatever happened that day I was sick and sleeping in my basement on the couch so I guess I lived through it from being in the basement. I had a lot of time to think and try and figure out what happened while I was locked in the basement of his house in between his sessions of raping and using me as his `favorite toy'. as he put it. So I woke the next morning and no one was around and I started to check around my house and literally ran into him at my side door when I went outside to see if my parents or brothers were in the backyard. I didn't know anything then and he finally explained things to me well after that. I never really did get to morn my parents and brothers deaths. Anyway he grabbed me the second I left the house like he was waiting there for me to come out. I don't know how he knew I was alive but he did. I thought I was stronger then he would be and I almost got away from him then. He finally pulled out a knife and held it to me to get control of me. He was really nasty and I guess he knew what happened and that no one was around to save or protect me. so as he grabbed me he started yelling at me, about how I teased him and that he was going to get even and make sure I would never do that again." Jeremy's words started to break up now as he paused. I took a step towards him but he took a deep breath and sniffed back tears as he cleared his throat and continued to tell me his story. He didn't shoo me away but I didn't want to go to him unless he wanted me to. "Before I could even say a word and started dragging me to his house. He was pretty strong I finally found out much stronger then I ever guessed because I am fourteen and kinda big for my age I think. I was not that much bigger so I tried to fight him off and I screamed for help but no one came. He took me into his basement and immediately started smacking me around. I swung back but he punched me in the stomach and then in the balls and I passed out. When I woke up I was in this room in his basement and totally naked. My balls hurt but all he did then was strip me and probably looked at me and touch me while I was passed out. Things got worse from there and a few days after that I was hungry and kinda weak from him not feeding me or even giving me water. That's when he came in and had this look in his eye. I got up to ask him a question and before I could even say two words he swung and hit me in the jaw and all I felt was pain and saw stars as I fell to the bed. He grabbed me and put those cuffs on me and rolled me over and then started to." Again he paused but this time a tear rolled down his face followed by another and a few more. I moved to him and this time the strong willed boy didn't hesitate or push me away. I took him into my arms and held him as he sobbed into my shoulder. He was a big boy now and I almost lost my footing with him almost being bigger then I was used to holding. He regained control of his legs and I just did the best I could to hold the crying fourteen year old naked boy that was in my arms. After maybe a minute he tried to give way from me and I let go immediately as he pulled away and turned his back to me while he wiped his face with his hands and on his lower forearm. When he was done he turned back and looked at me with his tear stained face. "I'm sorry Tommy I feel so embarrassed crying in front of you like that." "Oh Jeremy its okay! Please don't feel bad you have been through hell for a long time over this." "No Tommy honest I am usually much stronger then that and I don't cry." his words trailed off as he realized what he said. "I am gonna go and give you some privacy Jeremy okay?" "NO! Please don't leave. Stay Tommy, please I want you here." I turned back to him. "Sure, I will stay but I feel like I am so out of place with you standing there naked like that." Did those words just come out of my mouth? An awesomely cute but dirty naked young man standing in front of me crying and I am embarrassed? I almost wanted to puke from my own words! He looked at me queerly but still didn't make a move to dress or anything like that. "Oh come on Tommy, he said. I know I don't know much about you but the way you look at me. I see your eyes look at me almost like Roberts did." He grew silent realizing what he just said. Comparing me to that bastard. My jaw dropped but I didn't say anything. "I better go now Jeremy, the shower is down the hall and I will talk to you later when you feel a little better." I started towards the door just wanting to get out of there after those words cut me like that. "TOMMY PLEASE???" I stopped and looked at him as I had one hand on the doorknob and was about to turn it. "I am sorry I really, really am I didn't mean to say that or put it that way. Please don't leave me not that way! At least hear me out!" I turned the doorknob and opened it partially. I wasn't playing any game I was upset and just wanted space now. He ran over to me and put his hand on the door shutting it. "Wait! Please, I am sorry. Please don't go I really like you and I don't want you leaving me." I looked at him. "You really like me? You just made me feel like Robert Jeremy. How could you." I stopped before I said the wrong thing. "I didn't mean it. I am tired, scared and confused." he just hugged me. He was almost as tall as I was as I said before so we were practically standing shoulder to shoulder as his head was resting on my shoulder while he held me tightly. He was strong and even though I had maybe three or four inches on him height wise I wish I had what he had below but that's another story. "And I want you here with me." He said in a whisper. Be broke the hug and looked at me. "Don't leave me Tommy I really like you a lot." I didn't know what to say. I was totally stunned at his comment. "At least close your mouth Tommy you look like you are going to drool on the floor." He was right he had me totally shaken. I didn't even know if I was coming or going now. I walked over and sat on his unmade bed and collected myself. He stood about five feet in front of me which put his dangling meat at my eye level. It was making me feel many different emotions at the moment but mostly it was making me horny! I couldn't even consider it at the moment but he was turning me on without even making a move on me. I stood up before I grew hard from his cock staring me in the face. He looked at me. "Jeremy I can't do this with you now. Not right now even if I wanted to. I have two others in this house that I care a whole lot about and you just can't come into my life and dangle yourself in front of me and expect me to take you into my heart in one day." "Sorry Tommy I wasn't trying to make you feel uncomfortable or like I want to do anything sexually with you but I know. I see it in your eyes. I mean I don't mean to. I don't know how to say it to you. You saved my life today and." His voice trailed off but I almost knew what he was going to say next but I prayed he wouldn't just come out and say it. "Tommy you are hot!" I swallowed hard. It wasn't what I thought he was going to say but just as bad. "Jeremy. I. I. I. think you need to shower and we can talk more about this later." "Okay Tommy, I didn't mean to embarrass you." "I am not embarrassed." More like mortified! "Okay but you sure are beet red in the face." I didn't know what to say I think I met my match! "Go take a shower Jeremy." I turned and walked out of his room, this time I wasn't stopping nor was he stopping me. DAMN! Now what do I do? I headed to my room I needed to sort this out. He had my head totally fucked up and he has been here for three hours if that long. Son of a bitch! What a piece of ass!! What do I do now.? What do I do about this? He is so fucking hot but. I sat on my bed and just thought about what happened today. What a mess! But a good mess? I couldn't even tell if this was a good thing or not. AHHHHHHHH!!! I screamed inside my head. I fell back on my bed and just closed my eyes and tried to put any thoughts of his nakedness out of my mind. I knew he had me, he got to me badly but how do I handle him, Jon? Shawn? I just didn't know what to think! I just kept seeing him dangling in front of me without an ounce of shame or modesty. Exhaustion took over as I fell asleep where I lay. I was out till a knock on the door brought me back to earth. I jumped up when the knock came a second time. "Come in." I said in a groggy voice. The door opened and it was Jon. "You okay Tommy? I hadn't seen you around in a while." "Yeah just a long, long day Jon and I guess I was whooped." "I see that. It's after eleven and I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Damn I slept for two hours. "Thanks Jon. I said as I got up. I am okay just tired." I gave him a hug and he hugged me back hard and didn't let go for a minute. "I know it was tough finding and burying Trevor today Tommy but you did it. You were great and you are my hero for handling it so well." He gave me a kiss on the lips that lasted a bit. He felt good and I my mind was still fucked up over Jeremy's actions earlier but at least that was then and I had a little breathing room. I kissed Jon but I was thinking about Jeremy. Finally we broke the lip lock. "Wow Tommy that was some kiss!" I laughed embarrassed at what I was thinking but knowing who I was kissing in my mind. "Thanks Jon, you deserve it for being here for me now." He smiled at me. He didn't have a clue how much I was confused! "You want to stay with me tonight Jon?" "Sure I do but I kinda figured Shawn might need you more." "What do you mean?" "I passed by his door coming in here just now and I could hear him crying in there." I looked at him. "Its okay Tommy I understand, go to him he is younger he needs you and I know I have you." I smiled at him and gave him another kiss before I opened my bedroom door and he followed me out and headed down the hall as I knocked on Shawn's door. He stood half way down the hall and watched as Shawn said to come in. I looked at him and waved thank you as I entered Shawn's room. "Shawnee kid, what's wrong?" He was in his bed crying. "I miss Trevor. I know he wasn't totally kewl with us but Tommy I miss him so much." Again he started bawling. I sat next to him and grabbed for him as he buried his face into my chest. I just held him until he calmed several minutes later. I didn't want to lie to Shawn but I had to say something to calm him. "Shawn when I was holding Trevor while he was hurt he told me to let you know he was thinking of you." "He did?" I felt so stupid and now trapped in a lie! "Yeah Shawn he wanted you to know he asking for you. He said tell Shawn hi for me." I felt like a total jerk then Shawn looked at me. "TJ thanks but I know he didn't say that did he? It's okay really. if he didn't I know you are just trying to make me feel better right now. But please tell me the truth TJ, Please?" I bowed my head. "No Shawn, he didn't say that. He could hardly say anything to me. I just wanted to make you feel better, I'm sorry." "No TJ, its okay, I am not mad at you, you were just trying to cheer me up and I love you for that. I am not mad." He gave me a hug and squeezed me tightly. "I love you so much Tommy. I am so glad I have you. This was a really hard day for me all this stuff reminded me of what happened to me all over again." I didn't give that too much thought today I was so busy trying to do everything else. Poor Shawn having to relive all that again. "I love you too Shawnee, so much I am so sorry I wasn't there for you earlier when all this happened. I was just so involved with Trevor's death and the other boys." He didn't say anything else after that and I just held him and we got comfortable together in his bed. As time passed he fell asleep and so did I and we stayed together in his bed for the night. I awoke and it was light out and Shawn was laying on me sleeping comfortably like the little cutie he was. I didn't want to move but I had to pee badly. I carefully and slowly moved him off me and went to get up. "Were ya going TJ?" he squeaked out in his morning voice. "I have to pee cutie, go back to sleep." "Okay Tommy.I love you." He grew quiet and I left his room and ran into my room. I washed up in my bathroom and changed my clothes getting into something clean. There was a knock on my door and I went over and opened it. It was Jeremy. "Can I come in?" "Sure Jeremy you are up quite early." He walked past me. "Look I'm sorry about coming on to you last night. I was kinda scared and lonely after being locked up for so long in his basement. I never slept last night and I heard a noise in the hall and saw it was you so I came down here now to see you and tell you this." "Its okay Jeremy I understand." "No you don't Tommy I want you to hear me out okay?" "Sure go ahead you have my attention." I sat on my bed and he came over and sat next to me not more then three feet away. "I am sorry what I did to you last night in my room Tommy. But I am not sorry I said what I did. I meant it. You are hot. But its okay if you have others here you love. I am not in love with you but I really like you. Now I know we just met but you did save me and I feel like I owe you something in return." "You don't owe me anything Jeremy." "Well okay but I feel like I do." "Let's go slowly then okay Jeremy. You have a tough day ahead of you today." "You mean Robert? HA! He is a piece of shit and I am going to spit on him!" "That's all?" "Hell no! I want him to feel the pain he gave me! I want him to know what it was like every time he fucked my ass without stopping. Tommy he didn't go slowly he just shoved himself into me without stopping. He made me bleed Tommy, he hurt me badly not once but so many times I lost track. After a while I didn't even feel it anymore he did it so much! He used other things on me too and worst of all when I screamed in pain he laughed! He laughed at me!" I could hear his voice starting to crackle. Understandably so. "I want him to feel that pain today Tommy. I want to do things to him that will make him scream like he made me scream!" He tried to clear his throat but he couldn't get anymore words out for the moment. I reached out to him without thinking about it and he moved closer to me. I couldn't tell if he was serious or playing me to get closer to me after how he acted last night. I just hope he isn't a sly boy and just wants attention. We will have a serious problem if he is just trying to get into my pants. Right now he appeared serious and I couldn't blame him after what he just said. Who could? I took him into my arms and just held him for a minute. He wasn't really crying but he was definitely upset. He didn't stay long he broke my hold quick enough that I felt like he wasn't looking for anything but sympathy. He deserved it too! "Did the shower help last night?" "Yeah it did a lot. I scrubbed and scrubbed myself till I was red. I washed my behind over and over. It still stings from what he did back there but it's finally healing some. I had to wash his stink off me I tried to but I feel like he is still inside me sometimes, I feel like I will never lose his stench, his body odor its gross!" "I'm so sorry pal." It was all I could think of saying I was dumbfounded. "Its okay Tommy I know you can't totally understand it but it was bad. Very bad! The hot water felt so good on my back and smelling the soap after not showering for almost two months made me feel clean finally." "You didn't shower for two months?" "No I used to take some of the water he gave me to drink occasionally and I would clean myself, ya know just try and rinse the blood off me so I wouldn't feel so dirty." I felt so bad for him. I didn't even know what to say anymore. I just listened as he went on and graphically told me more and more about Robert and what he did to him. I don't even want to say it in the story but it was terrible. He finally spoke all his peace and looked like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. He actually smiled for a second. "Feel any better Jeremy?" "A little. I just need to heal. my head is full of hate. I need time." "I know you do and you will have plenty of it here I promise." "With you?" "I don't know Jeremy. I just can't promise you that yet." "That's okay I know you are gonna be here and I can wait for you Tommy. But only if you really want me." "I am sorry Jeremy; I cannot make you that promise. Not today." He did smile. "That's okay Tommy I wouldn't want you to make that decision today. I have only known you for a full day or almost a full day. It's not fair at all for you to think about your future with me yet." YET? I thought to myself. This boy seems to be planning his life around me all of a sudden. Then I thought.. What else does he have going now? Nothing. I guess it will have to be okay. We just need to move gradually, step by step. "You're going to be okay Jeremy!" "Hell yeah. I will be fine. I just had to tell you my story. It was killing me not being able to talk to someone. I feel better already." "Good, glad to hear that." He is a total rollercoaster of emotions. I can't even figure out what is good and bad in him now or if he is sad or happy he is going back to Roberts today. "Yeah now I can kill that bastard without having any guilt at all." Oh great! This isn't going to be an easy day at all. All he wants is revenge. I can't blame him but he just seems to be enjoying it a little too much in my eyes. This may be a tougher thing to see and deal with then I want to. I feel so mixed up now we are going to have to take this very slowly especially since I can't get a good reading on Jeremy at all. I can't tell whether he is mad, sad or happy it's over. I don't even know if killing Robert is the right thing to do now that I see him with excitement in his eyes over this. What if I let him do that and he likes it? How would I live with myself? How could I trust him to live here? What if this whole thing turned him psychopathic? Too many questions and not enough answers. I am scared over this, very scared. To be continued... dwednomail@hotmail.com