Date: Tues, May 18 2010
From: Cody <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake
Blake & Tanner's Wild Ride or What Makes Tanner Tick?
Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake (15.2) by Cody S.
Disclaimer: This story involves homosexual acts between two or more under-age boys. If this offends you, or is illegal for you to view, or you are too young to read it, leave now and do not return. This story is entirely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead, or to actual events is entirely coincidental.
Copyright is to me, and this story may not be reproduced anywhere without my prior permission.
Chapter 15 Pt. 2
I screamed into the phone, “YOU WHAT?”
“How in the fuck did you do that?”
“Are you fucking with me Blake.”
“Well, you can see how I might think that. I mean it sounds almost too cartoonish to be real. I mean you can't even write shit like this. But they say fact is stranger than fiction.”
Second to last pause.
“Yah, he's here, so no worries. And I'm sure he will be, but not as pissed as your dad's gonna be!”
“Yah, I already said I'd get my dad, and we'll be right over!”
I ran to the edge of the house as everyone was gathering around me asking me what happened. And I called inside for my dad as loud as I could. He came running out into the back yard and asked why I was screaming. I started to explain that, “ Blake and Tanner.....,” when he interrupted me, saying, “Good God, what have they done now?”
As I was saying before, I said, “Blake and Tanner got in some trouble over on the Nevada side of the Lake in North Shore, and that we needed to go to the Sheriffs station to bail them out,” but left out the details.
He told me to get some dry cloths on and to meet him out in the garage by the SUV. I did as I was told, and we climbed into the Excursion. He told me he wanted some straight answers before we got over there.
Well, I had no choice but to tell dad what was happening, and that Blake and Tanner had gone AWOL with his dad's old jeep, and well, here goes nothing...... “Collided with a Cow.”
And he was of course disappointed in Blake and Tanner, but understood they needed help. So he did what he always does when me or one of the posse do some stupid shit (which unfortunately is usually on a weekly basis). He looked up, took a deep breath, and shook his head and shouted something in German, like, “acht ta leiber, gut und heimel!”
Of course, people being disappointed in Tanner was the norm for Tanner, as most parents cringed when they heard their sons say “mom, dad, Tanner's coming over!” Even on his best behavior he still let shit slip out of that cesspool of a hole in his head that he calls a mouth. He honestly isn't a malevolent or angry kid, but he just spoke his mind in a different way, and is way to over-descriptive in how he phrases things and the words he chooses. He's had what kindergarten teachers call potty-mouth. Except he came out of the womb like that. Whereas most kids first words are Mama or Dada, his were probably, “where's my fuckin bottle, I'm hungry you fuckers!”
We started towards the Sheriffs department over on the Nevada side of North Shore and I explained about the joy ride in the jeep and hitting the cow. Dad was disturbed saying it could have been a kid, and they were lucky. And that their actions were selfish and dangerous. He still very much liked Blake, I think mostly because of Blake being such a good “big-brother” to me. And he even had a soft spot in his heart for Tanner, well aware that he wasn't always welcome over by other parents. So he understood that Tanner probably needed acceptance more than other kids. My dad always made it a point to see that Tanner always felt welcome, even if Tanner did immediately follow up by putting his foot in his mouth.
And while he took it relativity well (maybe being used to our shortcomings) compared to what most other parents would have, he was still a dad. And I was trapped in the car with him and the only outlet. So there I was literally taking one on the chin for Blake and Tanner as Pop got on his soapbox and began going over a virtual laundry list of all the things we've done over the years and how many times he's had to “bail us out.” And how many games of golf we've interrupted with him having to go to the school, Sheriffs station, or elsewhere to “save our bacon” from one situation or another. Throwing in for good measure that they were all, one of our, or all of our faults as well.
Luckily for me a lot of it was in German, since he is from Austria, and I had forgotten most of it over the years. I should say we, the posse, were quite lucky that dad was so patient and that he loved us all. And just as important he believed in all of us. Because a lot of the other parents weren't as forgiving. Not violent or anything like that, but most of me and Sasha's friends would call our dad as opposed to their own parents when we fucked up really bad. Especially if we were all together when something went down. Then the next thing we (me and Sash) would hear is one of the posse say, “Nika (or Sasha), call your dad!”
We got to the station in a little more than a half hour, and as we approached the door we could hear some very loud shouting and arguing going on inside. And sure enough, it was Tanner and the Sheriff going at it Big Time. Dad pulled my hand away from the door to stop me from opening it, saying he wanted to listen for a moment so he knew what was going on, telling me, “wolf ears son, wolf ears.” Then we heard the Sheriff say, “I don't care what you think your entitled to, you broke the law.”
Tanner: “Well how did we break the law. We were on the road where we were supposed to be, and the cow was on the road where it shouldn't have been!”
“Well you hit the cow, it didn't hit you!”
“Well the cow walked in front of us, and damaged our jeep.”
“That's your fault as well. That cows worth $4,000.00 at least, as it's a prize cow. And you two are financially responsible to make good on that and reimburse the rancher who owns her.”
“And is he financially responsible for the damage to the jeep?”
“No, he is not.”
“Why? We were supposed to be on the road, the cow wasn't!”
“The cow didn't know any better, you did!”
“How the fuck did we know the cow was going to turn in front of us? I didn't see it use it's turn signals!”
“There were signs posted for you to observe showing cattle crossings. You obviously didn't take notice of them!”
“Were there any signs showing a jeep crossing to alert the cow!”
“Cows don't read signs now, do they?”
“Then they shouldn't be in the street now, should they?”
“I'm sick of this conversation. Are you always this insubordinate?”
“Only when I'm getting bent over and fucked by the Sheriff from PETA!”
“Watch your mouth young man, I've had about all of you I can take. Deputy, get me my heartburn medication.”
“Then just let us go and we'll cover the damage the cow inflicted on our jeep, and farmer Ted can man up and cover the damage to his fat-ass cow!”
“You boys don't have any insurance!”
“Neither did the cow, this is a no fault state isn't it?”
“You boys don't even have a license. I'm through talking about this, do you understand me?”
“And the cow has a license? This is great, we get fucked for four grand for a cow that didn't take driving lessons and made an illegal left hand turn in front of us. And the farmer sells the dead fucker as well! And as a bonus, we pay for the damage to the jeep and get fined. Doe's that sound right to you? I mean, how many more ways can you think to fuck us? Your all a bunch of fuckin money grubbing Nazi's. I know a conspiracy when I see one!”
“That's it, another word and I'll throw your sorry little skinny ass in solitary do you understand me?”
“Awesome heir commandant, child abuse too? You goose-steppin nazi fuck.”
“UGHHHHH, will somebody shut him up....please? You (pointing to Blake who is just staring blankly at the wall), can't you get him to just shut up. My stomach is killing me!”
“Are you kidding? You have noooo idea, you'll never shut him up now! I've watched him do this for seven years!”
“And your still friends with him? What, does he have something on you? Like pictures with another boy or something? This kid is the spawn of Satan!”
Tanner: “I know when I'm being taken advantage of! I want my lawyer! I'm going public! This won't go unchallenged, I'll talk to the press! I know my rights!”
“Ahh please talk to whoever you want. But would you just SHUT-UP for right now?”
Just then my dad opened the door as Tanner kept ranting furiously. Angry, bitter, and unrelenting. My dad walked up to the sheriff and introduced himself and explained he was here to post bail for Blake and Tanner. The Sheriff looked up at the ceiling and said, “Oh thank you, there is a God!”
Then he took some more heartburn medication, drank a little water and hit his fist against his chest a couple times as he tried to swallow, making a face as if he was in a little pain. Dad signed that paperwork and wrote out two checks, one for bail, and the other for the cow. Meanwhile Tanner just kept yelling about his rights, a gestapo force, and the Sheriff being a “numb and faceless servant to an evil state!”
Dad said he didn't agree with what was happening and all the financial burden being put on the kids, but he understood due process and intends to fight this in court. The Sheriff said that is fine and that he has no stake (or steak...haha) in who the judgment is for. And is just upholding the law. And to please just take Tanner and go away!
He released both of them to us and we started for the door. But to no avail, as Tanner yelled at the Sheriff, “No fuckin way. Were not leaving here without our cow. Have your men bring it around front. Unless you want to deliver it!”
“Oh Wont You Please Just Go Away Kid? It's not your cow!”
“The Fuck it isn't. You just saw Mr. V pay for it with cash money. Now your telling us it's not our cow? What the fuck is that all about? What did we just pay $4,000.00 for then? You gestapo drag queen!”
“Ughhh Shit, uhhhh!”
Deputy: “What is it Sheriff, are you ok?”
“It's my chest, it hurts!”
“Yah, I hope your heart seizes up you blubber-butt robber-baron! It's karma, your getting what's coming to you now. I know what your up to. Your all gonna have a giant BBQ with our cow. Probably invited the South Lake faction of Nazi stormtroopers who'll supply all the beer and booze they confiscated from my brothers party they busted.”
“Get that little mother fucker outta here before I hang him from the telephone pole outside. My chest is about to burst!”
“See, you decadent merchant of beef, booze, and sick western moral perversion. If you weren't stealing peoples cows and kids beer and stuffing your fat pie-hole, then you wouldn't have high blood pressure and about to have a coronary!”
Just then one of the deputies had had enough and came at Tanner, but my dad grabbed him first and carried him under his arm like a newspaper as we made our way for the door and out to the SUV. Meanwhile Tanner kept on screaming all the way to the vehicle at the top of his lungs about political injustice, rampant corruption, extortion, and back alley pay-offs. Then we got in the car and turned around in the lot, figuring that we finally had Tanner calmed down a little.
But as we drove back towards the entrance/exit, the Sheriff was coming out of the building with a red sweaty face to get some air. As we drove past, Tanner spotted him and frantically climbed over Blake in the back seat to stick his head out the window, shouting in a screechy, horsy voice that had been overworked and was running on fumes, “Fill Your Face With Our Cow, Sausage Paws! Eat All Of Our Cow You Want You Fat Fascist Fuck! I Bet You Won't Even Fit Into Your Lederhosen Tomorrow! That Is If You Don't Die In Your Sleep From A Massive Coronary! See You In Hell You Child Abusing, Face Stuffing, Slobbering Sow! Choke On It Fat-Ass! OINK-OINK You Fuckin Pig!” as loud as he could manage. Spraying spit everywhere as we drove out of ear shot of the dejected Sheriff, as he leaned against the wall with his eyes closed breathing deeply.
And then we were gone. Tanner finally shut up and Blake just turned to him and kissed him hard on the cheek. Tanner surprised, looked at Blake and said, “what was that for? Sticking up for you?”
Blake replied: “No, it's for finally shutting the fuck up! Do you have any idea the headache you've given me?”
Tanner: "Yah, well next time you ask me to go cow tipping, can you leave the jeep at home?"
Blake: "If I recall, you were the one that asked to come along!"
Tanner: "That's before you decided to go matador on us!"
Blake: "Well maybe you'd rather switch places with the cow?"
Tanner: "And maybe you coulda picked something smaller to hit, like a squirrel or a cat. I mean did you have trouble seeing the stinky fucker? I mean the dead fucker weighs a couple thousand fuckin pounds? Do you need fuckin glasses?"
Blake: "Don't sweat it, next time I'll leave your ass at home!"
Tanner: "Good, cause next time I'll be collecting social Security by the time you get your license now great white hunter!"
"Fuck you Tanner!"
Nika: "Shut-Up, Both of you just Shut-Up! Your giving me a headache!"
Me and my dad just looked at each other in the front seats, relieved it was over, as dad shook his head and began mumbling something in German, as we continued on home!
Tanner and Blake both sat back in their seats. And some time later, after his breathing returned to normal and his face returned to its normal color, as the crimson faded, Tanner, and Blake eventually fell asleep.
*** Please read “Twinergy and the boys of Clear Lake” Blog Site below:
The story picks up there at Chapter 55!
That concludes this chapter of “Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake.” This is my first attempt at writing so any feedback, direction, or comments are appreciated. Please forward comments to the address below:
***Hello to all who have followed this story from the beginning. I have decided that because of all the positive feedback, and at the urge of fellow authors, that I will be continuing this story on its own site http://twinergyandtheboysofclearlake.wordpress.com/ It has gained a life of it's own and needs pictures and information to go along with it. Feel free to e-mail me any questions, and visit the above site for further chapters. I will continue to post this on nifty, especially my short story series called, “Clear Lake Capers” and the first will be submitted soon. Thanks again for your encouragement and be well.
Stay tuned for:
Blake & Tanner's Wild Ride or What Makes Tanner Tick?