Date: Thur, 23 January 2009
From: Cody <email@example.com>
Twinergy and Boys of Clear Lake
Big medicine from little Sequoia!
Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake (6) by Cody S.
Disclaimer: This story involves homosexual acts between two or more under-age boys. If this offends you, or is illegal for you to view, or you are too young to read it, leave now and do not return. This story is entirely fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead, or to actual events is entirely coincidental.
Copyright is to me, and this story may not be reproduced anywhere without my prior permission.
"........................I have the feeling you think there's more to it than just a dream, Nikita."
"I'm just troubled is all, Sequoia."
"I can sense that Nika, that's why I'm here. I have picked up on your torment, and I will help take it away."
"I'm not sure you can Sequoia, it's pretty disturbing. Actually very disturbing."
"I know my brother. I can sense that you have had an encounter from the shadow world, I can help you with that."
"Haha, shadow world?"
"Yes Nika, don't laugh. It's what my people call it. I will help."
"How Sequoia, and how do you understand these things?"
"I was born with a very powerful gift Nika. In time you may understand it....or at least more than most. But you may never be able to completely grasp what and who I really am."
"Why can I feel some of that Sequoia, but not understand it completely? I mean I think I understand some things more than others. Can anyone else understand these things?"
"Yes, some. It's a gift. You were born with a gift of your own Nika." You've just chosen to ignore it and not develop it."
"I have a gift, what is it?”
"You know what I am talking of Nika. Don't be ashamed of it or deny it."
"You're talking about the way Cody and I can communicate sometimes, and read each others thoughts, aren't you? You're talking about twinergy...huh?"
"You know I am Nika. But its much more than that."
"What Sequoia, what is? And does that mean Cody can understand it some too?"
"Yes, it does, but I do not feel it as intensely in him.”
"Will it get stronger Sequoia?"
"It's more than you want to be aware of Nika. You haven't developed it as much or chosen to recognize it because of fear. You trivialize your connection with Cody and your ability to randomly read peoples thoughts when they are emotional, as intuition or coincidence. It is much more than that, and it is very rare Nika.”
"Does the incident up it the tree house with Cody have something to do with it too Sequoia? I mean feeling something was going to happen?"
"Yes Nika, it does....very good."
"So Cody would be dead if I didn't get these weird premonitions?"
"Yes, most likely dead. Or gravely injured."
"Wow, maybe it isn't a bad thing then after all Sequoia. Maybe I don't have to be scared of it then."
"Yes Nika, it can be a bad thing, a very bad thing indeed."
"I don't understand, it saved Cody's life?"
"Yes it did, but it wasn't that easy Nika."
"Why not Sequoia, I had the feeling, and I acted on it."
"Did you Nika?"
"Yes, of course I did, you just told me so. So that means it's a good thing."
"You did act on it Nika, and in this case, it was a good thing. But it took much interference from me for you to do so.”
"What do mean Sequoia, how so? You need to stop talking in riddles and tell me what's going on. You're confusing me, and after last night, I feel like I'm cursed."
"In a sense you have been Nika. But to help enlighten you, and to help release you from your burden, we will take these questions one at a time."
"Please Sequoia, I'm hurting."
"I know my brother, I will make sense of things for you. I feel it is time."
"You mean you have known all along about this stuff and me?"
"Yes, I, as a little boy was able to keen in on you and Cody and what went on privately between you two from your thoughts. I was able to pick up on it the same way I am able to recognize other people like myself. Those people who understand that there is more to the world then what you see. And that sometimes the things you cannot see are more real and powerful than 99% of the people who walk the earth give credit to."
"Like me and Cody?"
"Yes Nika, but that is just a small part. There are others who are very powerful, who walk among us. I will begin from the beginning. Once I recognized you and Cody, when I was a child, I felt less alone in the world. There were others with a gift, even if on a much smaller scale. As I picked up on your thoughts, I felt a part of your intense friendship Nika. And to this day, I have seen very few people with a heart as pure as you and Cody's, especially yours Nika."
"As I watched the two of you over the years, three things stood out to me."
"What Sequoia, what things?"
"One, that you were both unaware it is a gift, and unaware that you even had it. You passed it off as a feeling, and labeled it “Twinergy."
"Secondly, Cody possesses it, but not as intensely as you do."
"And whats third Sequoia?"
"The third is that neither of you has tried to develop it. Or realized it is a gift given for a purpose and not something random."
"If that's the case Sequoia, then there is someone or something like on a higher level or on the other side that chooses and gives it to you then?"
"Very good Nika, now you are thinking."
"Then who or what is it Sequoia?”
"That, is for you to discover my friend."
"Ok, self-discovery I guess. I get it."
"About the incident with Cody, I intervened in that. I took a chance."
"No you didn't Sequoia, I listened to my inner voice, just like you said."
"You had the chance to listen to your inner voice Nika. But you hesitated. It was me who you listened to that night, and I am unsure whether I will pay a price for my interference."
"How did you interfere Sequoia, and what do you mean by pay a price?"
"I was aware of your dream in your room when Blake had to wake you up, and thought that would be enough for you to react last night in the treehouse. But as insurance, I reminded you as Sasha and I where walking up the stairs to his room. You and Cody were heading down the stairs on your way out to the treehouse, do you remember that?"
"Yes, you told me something about listening to my inner voice when the time came....right?"
"Yes, and when the time came, you did listen, but you hesitated."
"I, I, I don't know sequoia. It all happened so fast, and so slow at the same time. It's like Cody was peeing and everything came along at normal speed, but then I had the feeling, and thought about what happened next, and waited for the sound. The snap. Then things slowed down, like slow motion."
"Yes, and it was that hesitation, waiting on the snap that would have cost your friend his life."
"What do you mean Sequoia, Cody's fine, I pushed him outta the way."
"You pushed him out of the way Nika, because I interfered."
"In two ways Nika. First, it was my voice you heard in your head while you were sitting there waiting for the snap. And second, it was I who pushed you so that you could get to Cody in time."
"But you, you weren't there Sequoia, you weren't there.....you weren't!"
"Wasn't I Nika."
"No, it cant be. I remember, I, I did hear your voice Sequoia, after I had my premonition. I heard you talking to me. Telling me to get up and run to Cody."
"Yes Nika, now think. What happened next? What do you remember next?"
"Then, then I, I, I felt two hands in the middle of my back Sequoia........ right in the middle of my back. They pushed me forward real hard Sequoia!"
"Yes Nika, this is true."
"Oh my God, You were there Sequoia......but, but how?"
"It was not easy Nika, And I suffered for it all that night and today. My nose bleeds, they scared Sasha pretty bad at first, but I told him it was because of the weather."
"And you said something about maybe paying a price for your interference, what does that mean?"
"It means Nikita, that if you have a gift and recognize it, you have two choices. To either develop it, and gain an understanding of it. Or, leave it be. Walk away from it and leave it alone. It is not a toy."
"Sooo, what's with the price you would pay? I mean saving Cody was good, right?"
"Yes, but saving Cody was your revelation, not mine. It was your intuition, and decision. And I interfered.”
"But it was a good thing Sequoia, it was."
"That was not my call Nika. You were given the choice to make that call, and there was a reason for that. Not me. It was only out of my love and feelings for you both that I interfered, and it may be nothing, but I shall pay a price down the road for meddling in anothers affairs."
"I don't think anyone will fault you for what you did Sequoia, I think you will be fine."
"Maybe Nika, but you don't know enough yet to understand the unwritten rules and repercussions of interfering in events that do not concern you."
"I guess not, if all it involves is pushing someone out of the way of a tree limb."
"Oh Nika. It goes far beyond a tree branch."
"It's the ability to alter the future Nika."
Are you well Sequoia?"
Just then Sequoia grabbed me by the neck with his hand and squeezed. As I struggled to breathe, he threw me backward over his leg and onto the ground on my back. He pinned me down and put his face to mine. He looked very angry and I looked into his eyes. I could almost see flames, as I felt completely under his physical and mental control. "You are not taking this seriously Nika. Listen to me very, very, carefully."
"yessss", I whispered silently, as best as I could as I struggled for breathe.
"What if it wasn't Cody who you saved? What if that had been the man who shot President Kennedy a month before he was assassinated? And he was meant to die, so that the president had lived Nika. Little you would have changed the course of history. And what if Cody was meant to die? And he doesn't? He will grow up, and possibly take a scholarship to college that was meant for someone else, marry someone meant for someone else, possibly rise to a position of power and make decisions that will effect the world as a whole. If so, then it was you Nika who made that occur. I hope for your sake if you are willing to take that chance, your changes make the world a better place. Otherwise you will have a lot to answer for in your next life my friend."
"I understand Sequoia, I understand. I didn't...”
"You didn't think. I know Nika. You have a good heart, and you have a gift. Now start to use your mind as well, and realize the repercussions of your actions. And use your heart, mind, and gift all together. Then if you make a mistake, at least it was thought out. You won't always have much time, like in the tree house with Cody, so choose wisely. I will not be there to speak to you next time."
I was scared and crying a little as Sequoia helped me up from the ground and dusted off my back, picking pine needles and dirt out of my hair. Then he sat me down gently, took a seat next to me, put his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. Gently kissing me there and saying, “I love you like a brother, just as I do all of your family Nika, but you are very special to me. We share a bond, and I am here to help you."
"Then take away the pain Sequoia, I feel like I have a demon after me. You said something about the shadow world?"
"Yes Nika, that's what my people call it. I sense you have had a visitor, tell me about it."
"I'm scared Sequoia."
"I know Nika. I can feel your fear, you reek of it. You said it's very disturbing? I can't imagine what you have at this age that could evoke a visit from the other side. Your heart is too pure. You will need to tell me about it. Do not be afraid Nika, I am here, and nothing will harm you in my presence."
gIt, it was a dream I had before I woke up.....with Cody in the tree house. Kinda a gay dream Sequoia. It was so tempting and scary at the same time. I felt like it was a ghost or spirit or something. Like I was being tested."
"I'm not sure why you would have this type of dream. I mean the type of love that you and Cody have and share is very beautiful, and even celebrated by my people over the centuries. Gays were special in Native American culture. There has to be more to it than that Nika. What aren't you telling me?"
"There was more to it Sequoia, there was. I don't know how to tell you? I don't wanna say it."
"If you want closure, and to be at peace Nika, then you need to open up and tell me everything."
"It wasn't exactly about Cody Sequoia."
"Then who Nika.....it's ok, I feel I already know."
"I wouldn't give in Sequoia, I wouldn't hurt him."
"It was Sasha, wasn't it Nika?"
I was shaking and crying at the same time as Sequoia strengthened his grasp on me and shushed me, telling me to remain calm and explain my visitor.
"It was just before dawn. I woke to Sasha in the tree house, he was naked and hard. We had pulled the ladder up, so there was no way for him to have gotten up there. I quickly motioned him under the blankets with me because it was freezing outside. But when he got under the blankets with me, I could sense a sexual appetite that was overwhelming. He was coaxing me to take in his scent and smell, and he was rubbing his boner against me and kissing my face and lips. I got sooo aroused Sequoia. Then he started to grind up against me, as I did him. I was like lost in an incredible sexual lust that wasn't like anything I ever experienced before Sequoia."
"Did it speak Nika?"
"Yes, it kept saying to let him do the thinking for both of us, and it's what I want. And to breathe in his smell and to keep pumping and not to stop. And to quit trying to do what's right, and to live for the moment, and enjoy what he's offering. And that he could make Cody stay asleep and that I loved his body and he would satisfy both our needs. Also that he could feel my desires, my urgency, and my needs. He wanted me to cum with him"
"This is important. Did you Nika? I need you to be completely honest."
"No Sequoia. I mean I wanted to bad at first. But then when I got to thinking about it and what was happening, I knew something was wrong."
"Then you stopped. What did you say, and did IT go away peacefully?"
"Yes, I said, "I can pass this up, and I will. Get off of me, NOW! Get off. It's my job to protect you, not sleep with you. This is not how or who you are. And that's what I will do. Protect you. Go away, whoever you are! I know what we have and it's honest and beautiful and real Sash. Go back to where you came from and leave me be. I won't be fooled by my feelings, and I see through who you are and what you are trying to do right now. Get off my beanbag, I'm a big brother, not a user. The real Sash is my life, and I love him. This will not pass. Stop this now, and let me be. Cody is this part of my life, and not you, whoever you are."
"Very Good, what did IT say to that Nika?"
"Something like, ""Ahhh Nika, you're a fool, and made a big mistake, I'll be back and I won't go away for long. But have it your way for now. You will give in to me sooner or later."
"How did you reply to IT Nika?"
I said something like, "No, I won't. And don't count on that happening again poser. I know Sash is my brother and I know better than what you're doing. You won't return, and I'll wake up later knowing I did whats right for us. Be gone, NOW."
"Perfect Nika. You are sure you told it that it will not return, and be gone now?"
"Yes, I'm sure Sequoia, Why? Was it a bad dream or something Sequoia?"
'Yes Nika, only worse..... a demon, your demon!"
"Oh Fuck Sequoia. How do I get rid of it? How do I stop it from coming back?"
"You already did Nika. You already did my brother!”
"You have discussed what and who you are with Sasha....haven't you Nika? And your feelings for Cody?"
"You mean being gay or bi Sequoia?"
"Yes, I did. In my bedroom yesterday. He took it kinda hard at first, me being that way and all."
"Did you two discuss at all how you felt about each other Nika?"
"Uhh, yah. I think so."
"Think real hard Nika, this is important. What did you discuss?"
"Let me think. Sash asked me if that's how I was, and I liked guys, why I never tried anything with him. And wasn't he cute enough, or wasn't I attracted to him. At least something like that."
"And what did you tell him Nika?”
"I told him not to worry, that he's very beautiful, and that if he wasn't my brother, I probably would be on him, or something like that. But that he's my little brother, and it's my job to love and protect him. And besides that, he isn't like me and Cody."
"Good Nika, perfect, in fact."
"Are you sure it was a demon Sequoia?"
"Did you look closely at it when you started "coming to your senses Nika?"
"Uhhh, yes, yes I did."
"Look hard into your mind and tell me what you saw Nika."
"I, I saw.... ohhh Sequoia, it was terrible!"
"What was looking back at you Nika? Tell me what you saw staring back at you?"
"It was Sasha. I, I saw black eyes Sequoia. Oh God, it was terrible!"
"Are you sure Nika?"
"Yes, I think so. I'm scarred, and it hurts Sequoia."
"Yes, I know it hurts, but look closer Nika, look real close."
"Hold me Sequoia!"
"I am holding you Nika, don't fear my friend, I am here."
"OHH Sequoia, OHH WOW Sequoia!!"
"Tell me, Tell me now, what did you see Nika......tell me NOW
"It, it wasn't Sasha Sequoia, IT, IT WAS ME! ... It was Me looking back at myself. Oh Sequoia, what have I done?"
"Shhh, shhh, it's ok Nika. It's ok friend. You passed the test, you did fine. In fact better than fine, you did perfect. Be still Nika, and breath."
"How, what was it Sequoia?"
"It was a demon Nika, your demon."
"But why? Why me?"
“Because, you have a higher level of consciousness that most people, then or now Nika. You are very special, and you defeated a very worthy adversary."
"Are you sure Sequoia, I mean that I defeated it, and it won't come back?"
"Oh Yes, very sure Nika. At least not this one. However you will face many more demons in your lifetime, as will we all."
"Please Sequoia, please explain what happened....and how?"
"Sure Nika. You love Sasha very much and are very protective over him. When you came out to him he inquired of you weather he was attractive and why you never did anything with him."
"Yah, so why the demon then?"
"Demons are what my people call bad dreams, recurring nightmares. They are all forms of pain and torture. And for some, a wrong decision here and there and they will never go away. Some take on personalities all of their own, and some have the stink of the shadow world, as I suspect this may have."
"Whats different about those Sequoia?"
"Those Nika are the most dangerous of all. There are entities out there that cannot always be seen, believed, or explained. Which makes them all the more powerful. There's an old saying in my culture that, "the Devils greatest trick, was convincing man that he doesn't exist!”
"So how did this apply to me Sequoia?"
"Well, your soul and your love for Sasha is so pure Nika, its like sugar or something sweet to a malevolent entity. When you spoke to Sasha about your love for him and admitted your attraction to him and that you passed on acting on that attraction for him.... for his sake. You were doing what was right by him, and what you felt right in your heart Nika."
"Yah, that's right Sequoia, I love him dearly. So what's with the visitor or nightmare?"
"Because at the time, you flashed a doubt in your mind. You, for a split second, subconsciously questioned if the circumstances were right, whether or not you could restrain yourself from acting on your attraction and thoughts for Sasha. You, in your mind inadvertently left the question open as to whether or not you could pass on the urges you feel sometimes for your little brother."
"I feel so ashamed Sequoia. I'm so disappointed in myself that those thoughts even exist. I don't even think about them."
"Yes Nika, and that's why you had the nightmare and probably the shadow visitor. It was eating away at you, and you felt guilt and a diminished self-worth. They feed on that kind of misery and find it sweet."
"What do I do now Sequoia?”
"Nothing Nika, you already have. Your gonna be fine Nika!"
"But how, why?"
"Because you passed the test, you stood up to the visitor, took its best shot, and vanquished it!"
"I did that?"
"I did that?....I DID THAT!"
"Yes Nika, you did that. You were very brave and showed self control and will power beyond your years."
"So it won't come back then Sequoia? I mean nightmare, entity, whatever?"
"No Nika, It knows it lost, and can never repeat the same conditions, or have surprise on its side again. And even more important, you have something you lacked before."
"What's that Sequoia?"
"Knowledge and confidence Nika. You know now why this happened, why you feel this way, and that you know the right course of action.....for you anyway."
"Shit Sequoia, that feels so good. I'm soo relived. I was hella scared. But if it wanted to win, then why not just get in my bed and start having sex with me before I became aware of its presence Sequoia? It may have been to late for me to know any better. It may have been all over and we both would have gotten off?"
"Because it could not Nika. It could not engage you unless you gave it permission."
"Are you sure Sequoia?"
"Did you invite it to sleep with you Nika?"
"Well, yes, kind of. I mean, I asked him to get under the covers with me cause it was freezing."
"And how did it reply?"
"It said something about he was just hoping for me to ask him that."
"Well, there you have it, and I know you were scared Nika. A persons first encounter with the Shadow World is always the most intense."
"Yah sequoia, but what do I do about my feelings? About Sash anyway?"
"Nothing Nika, there's nothing you can do."
"What do you mean nothing, I have to do something. What if the dream comes back?"
"It won't Nika. And you can't do anything about your physical attractions, its impossible friend. And why would you want to anyway?"
"Cause he's my lil brother Sequoia?"
"So what Nika, your missing the point. Sash's cute, you can't change the fact that he is and that you are gay....or bi. Neither can Cody, or any other guys out there that might think Sasha's cute. The fact that he's straight, he's your brother, and therefore he's off limits to you is your own unwritten rule. You chose that for the two of you based on your feelings and love for him. And when you questioned that, thats when you were tested."
"Ok, I think I understand. But Cody finds Sash attractive as well."
"Yes, and so will hundreds of others probably. And Cody is like you, he accepts Sasha's orientation and realizes it's hands-off."
"Good Sequoia, then I'm demon-free. You did it."
"I didn't do anything but enlighten and explain Nika, you did it. You faced it down. And as far as being demon free? Yes, for now. Till the next one appears."
"Oh shit, they'll be more?"
"In your lifetime, oh yes Nika. As will all of us. None as bad as this though, I feel."
"Thanks Sequoia, your better at dreams than even Blake. I love you Longhair!"
"I love you as well Nika. Now let's go for a walk before we have to go home! It wont be dark for quite a while.”
We walked through the forest for what seemed like hours, spying on the wildlife, of which I had never been so close to before. But they seemed curious, or not afraid with Sequoia so close to me. He had a way with animals just as he had with people, and understood them very well. He could walk right up and touch them at will, whereas they would not let me or anyone else even close. We enjoyed talking and reminiscing about our younger years and grades, and our first meetings. Time flew by as we laughed, cried, and brought up past events and friends. Friends who, some still around, and others who are long since moved away to attend other schools in other towns, and near forgotten.
When we made it back to the house it was dusk, and I gave Sequoia another hug. He smelled and felt sooo very good. His brown/red oh so smooth skin, and waist long black hair and very odd emerald green eyes. He may have been the very most beautiful human being I have ever laid my eyes on. And to think he was about a year or year and a half younger than me. But seemed to have the knowledge of the ages, and the patience and love of a saint.
And just as I turned to walk away Sequoia grabbed the back of my shirt at the neck by the collar and pulled me back turning me around in the process. Before I could say anything he had his face to mine, forehead to forehead, chin to chin. We were looking directly into one anothers eyes as he put three fingers from his right hand to my temple as I somehow felt paralyzed. I saw our lifetimes reflect in his eyes. He said "with this we shall become blood brothers and our souls joined as one. Remember me always along your pathway of life and forget me not.....I have cherished my time with you and your family Nika, but mostly you. Take this part of me with you to help ease the pain at my passing. It's been quite a ride my true friend, and I shall miss you most!"
He let go of my temple, as he slipped something into my jeans pocket, and I stepped back a little. My mind was taking in more than it could handle. I stuttered for a moment, before regaining my composure. "Wha, what was that Sequoia and where are you goi..."
Before I could finish, he said "forget this moment for now. You shall rediscover it in the very near future as we two fade to one."
Then, he waved his hand in front of my face and my vision, thoughts, and recollection went blank, as everything faded to black. "Do not fear at my passing Nika, your heart will always be true, and hold me there eternally."
I came to sitting on my butt on the ground at the sliding door in my back yard, and opened my eyes to see Sequoia kneeling next to me running his hand thru my hair saying "wake up Nika, there you are. So somebody is home in there after all....huh friend?"
I responded, "Yah, what happened?"
"You just blanked out a second Nika. You've had a very long couple days and have been through a lot. You're just exhausted. Just get a shower, some food, and a good nights sleep and you'll be fine"
"Yah Sequoia, I am hella tired. I'm gonna go upstairs and shower, then get some food. Thanks again for today."
"No need for thanks, that's what brothers do. But you are very welcome. Just one thing Nika."
"Sure Sequoia, anything, just name it."
"I hate to even bring it up, but if anything were to ever happen to me, you and your family....you will always keep an eye on my Mother and little sister?"
"Haha, you don't even havta ask that Sequoia, that will always be the way it is. You are our family Sequoia!"
I saw Sequoia smile, but for some reason it was a sad smile just the same, and then he turned away as a single tear fell down from his eye. He walked away, saying in a shaky voice, "It was worth it Nika....and I would do it again. Remember I love you and Cody both, and that it was very much worth it.....and nothing can ever change that!"
"I didn't know what he was talking about, but just the same I said "Thanks Sequoia, and we love you too."
I was hella tired, and in dire need of a real shower, with soap and shampoo. Not just a towel and water bath or a dip in the pool. Sequoia and I had spent hours wandering around the forest talking and making sense of life and love. And he was right, I was exhausted and I was starting to feel hungry again having exerted so much physical and mental energy. I made my way upstairs into my room and towards me and Sasha's bathroom, striping along the way and kicking open the door. I reached into the shower and set the water lever just where i wanted it for that perfect warm/hot temperature, and brushed my teeth and pee'd while it warmed up. Then I stepped inside my spacious double-headed shower. My tile-glass rectangle enclosure that offered me so much peace and therapy over the years. I enjoyed letting the steamy water cascade over my bushy blonde hair and down my body to the tile below, then I began to scrub myself clean.
I was in there for a good half hour to forty five minutes unwinding and relaxing. Just as I was finishing washing and rinsing my hair and was about to get out to dry off, I heard the door from my or Sasha's bedroom into our bathroom creak open. Usually it was the door from Sash's room as he is accustomed to coming in while I'm showering. To take a leak, shit, brush his teeth, or just to comb and brush out my hair if he hears me taking a shower. As that is what we usually do for one another. Hell, sometimes he even jumps in with me, as I do with him if I hear the water running. One of our favorite past times since we were little is bathing or showering together.
But it could have been the door through my room, which meant it would probably be Cody, Blake, Reiley, KC, or Jace. Or on a rare occasion one or both of the twins coming through my bedroom, and then our bathroom to get into Sash's room. Usually to wake him up if his bedroom door is locked and they can't get access through there. Either way, I was safe being naked since we all were accustomed to seeing each other like that anyway.
But this time I was taken a little by surprise. I was turning the water to the shower heads off, not paying attention to who it was fumbling around our bathroom with the toilet.
As I came out of the shower door towards the towel rack, I said. "You takin a shit Sash? And you gonna do my hair for me when you're done lil buddy?"
"Hey lil bro, unless Sasha started his menstrual cycle it's not him. And why is it you two can't learn to flush the toilet when you're done peeing?"
"What the fuck Tasha? I'm taking a shower, I mean come on, can't I have a little privacy?"
"Relax Nika, I'm just dropping off a tampon, Abby's in my bathroom."
"Then why not just go in there? Isn't she your best friend?”
"Because she locked the door, and I couldn't wait."
Tash looked at me smiling as she sat on the toilet while I blushed, turning away from her quickly towards the towel rack in a hurry to cover myself. "Fuck, can you at least say something next time so I can stay in the shower till your done? Or at least throw me a towel over the shower door so I can cover-up? I need some privacy."
"Ahhhh, you shy about your cute little butt baby bro, or that I gotta see da lil-dipper?”
"Fuck you Tash, It's the big-dipper, bitch!”
"Haha, I'll admit, it has grown a little bit since last time I saw it. And relax Nika, It was just a couple years ago I was helping bathe you and dry you off.....remember?”
"Yah I remember, but that was before I was a man.”
"Ohh, so you're a man now Nikita? Excuse me, you still look like my kid brother to me."
"Whatever Tash, just finish dumping your vampire stick in our toilet and get out.”
"Hey, I'm just kidding Nika, and I'm almost done. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you....ok?"
"Yah, ok, all you hadta do was say "Hey little brother, I'm just using your bathroom a sec, and I'll be right out."
"Ok Nika. Jeez, I get it. Will you relax now? And why can't you guys learn to flush the toilet?”
"Cause, why waste water? Remember, yellow is mellow, but brown goes down."
"Ughhhh, boys!” As she finished and pulled her jeans up.
I began to relax and realized I had overreacted because of my embarrassment and being caught off guard, so I said, "Hope I didn't embarrass you sis, being so big and hung and all. You know, I'm like so much more developed than you're friends and boyfriends?"
"Haha, oh yahhh Nika, I guess the sea monster that everyone talks about in Clear Lake is really just part of your anatomy...huh?"
"Come here lil bro, its been a while since I've done your hair."
I tightened the towel around my waist and sat down in the chair as Tasha came up behind me with a big white terrycloth towel and began the job of drying my hair. It felt good just sitting there and relaxing as she finished toweling me off and began the combing and brushing process to get the kinks out.
Sarcastically, "So Nika, are you still taking all your frustrations out on your pillow and staining pillow cases? Or have you found a little girlfriend to play with?”
"Shit Tasha, come on."
"Oh chill Nika, I've walked in on you how many times now? And that's just your room, not to mention the time or two in the living room. Hummm, Is that why you were soo embarrassed a few minutes ago? Because that's what you were doing in the shower when I walked in baby bro?”
"NO, I was just finishing rinsing my hair out, and give me a little space Tash, why are you always fucking with my head?”
"That's what big sisters do Nik, and besides when did you get so shy? Last time you didn't even bother to stop, you kept right on pumping."
"That's `cause there was no way I could stop, you walked in just as I was almost there."
"Ahhh, your point of no return....huh? Sounded like it felt real good...haha!"
"Shut up, Tash!"
"But what if it was mom or dad dork boy?"
"Mom and dad Knock before they come in our rooms Tash.....something you might try?"
"Haha, no way. I think it's cute the way your face gets all red and you're huffing and puffing with your little butt bouncing up and down. And the little moan and squeal you make just before and as you squirt your....."
"FUCK Tasha, SHUT-UP, just shut up...OK! Otherwise, just leave, I'll brush my own hair."
"Ahh, I'm sorry Nikita, I'm just having fun. You know I love you.....right?"
"Yah, I know, just try showing it by something other than humiliating me....OK?"
"Ok, fair enough little brother. Soo, back to those little girls that are always after you, anyone of them special. Have you picked one out yet?"
No. I'm not seeing anyone. Err, I mean I'm not dating any of them anyway."
"Really, I don't know why Nika, are you saving up to be a priest or something? You get more flirts than the rest of your friends combined."
"Just not ready yet I guess."
"Well, from the looks of you Nika, and I got the full and current view today, you're as cute as ever. And at least average downstairs compared to other boys your age. So you have nothing to be shy or embarrassed about little brother. In fact Nika, your lean stomach, chest, and legs are as sweet as your face. Float me your allowance this week, and maybe I'll have one of my friends come in and replace your pillow for a little while....haha!"
"You're doing it again Tasha.....Shut-uuuup please. Besides, I see how they look at me. It's me who they'd be paying beotchhh!"
"Haha, listen to the little pimp-boy, gonna start servicing all my friends...huh?"
"They wish I would. I know they're a bunch of Cock-Hoesss just like you Tash...hahaha!"
"Ohhh, you little fucker....take that!"
"OWWW, watch the hair sis, shit."
"Yah, ok. But really, you should start dating Nik, your coming up on fourteen."
"I know, I know, and I've made out and done some stuff at parties, the beach, and the bbqs."
"I mean someone steady Nika."
"Well, I've kinda found someone, and we're......umm, never mind"
"What, you just said you hadn't Nika. That's great, who is it?"
"Nothing Tash, just drop it."
"No way baby bro, I wanna know who the special girl is that landed the Nika-nator."
"No one Tash, just leave it alone....please."
"Ohh, come on Nika, you can tell me, we usta be soo close and talk about everything, up until last year. We've kinda drifted a little since I broke up with Garrett. Are you still mad at me?"
"Then let's go back to our old routine. A big sister is suppose to be a resource and help when her little brother comes of age. Don't be taking that away from me Nika."
"It's just complicated is all Tash, and I'm not ready to go into to it just yet. You'll understand later. At least I hope you will."
"What's not to understand Nika. Your a normal thirteen-year-old who's become sexually active and has all the raging hormones and desires that come along with puberty. The difference is that you have a leg up on the rest of the competition, cause you're a full-on hottie. You obviously take after me."
"Haha, oh yah, that's it Tash....haha!"
"Well anyways, I'm here when you need me dorkboy."
"Thanks sis, and by the way, look who's talking. Where is your boyfriend, and why'd ya havta dump Garrett? He was hella kool!"
"Yah, guess I am a hypocrite. You know why we broke up Nika?"
"Duhh, I don't know why? He was perfect!"
"Fer you or fer me lil bro?"
"For me, who cares bout you Tash. He always brought me over things and brought me back food when you guys went to eat. He took me for rides in his jeep and to his high school football games. He even said he was gonna teach me to be a quarterback like him."
"Just didn't work out Nika."
"Yah, but why, he was perfect for you sis. He's an all-American football player and is soo popular."
"Listen to me Nika. None of that matters even a little bit. It's how you feel inside, you know, what makes you happy when what you feel in your heart is right. You'll come to understand that as you get a little older....I promise."
"All right Tash, but I miss him. He was kool, and we were friends."
"I know it hurts sometimes little brother. I mean when someone close to you brings someone into the family and they become close. Then when its over, its not just them who breaks up, but everyone else that got close to them feels the pain as well. And he was very fond of you too Nika. He asked about you when we called it off. And I told him he was free to contact you and continue to call you and take you places."
"Then what happened Tasha, why doesn't he ever call me or return my calls?"
"I don't know Nika, I just don't think he can."
"Why, is it something I did?"
"No Nika, No. Not at all, don't ever think that. Sometimes it's just too hard and too hurtful. It's like prolonging the pain and never getting any closure and moving on with your life. I think it would be to hard on him to come over here and at the same time move forward. Does that make any sense Nik?"
"Yah, I kinda see what you mean. But you broke up with him. I mean, did he do something wrong?"
"No, we had a lot of fun, but just wanted different things is all. He wanted me and just me, and my family too of course. He loved us being at his families house or mine, and just being with me, and our family's. He was very romantic, and liked being a homebody and just cuddling and watching movies or going out on dates. You know how many times we all sat in the living room watching movies by the fireplace eating popcorn....that is when you two weren't throwing it at each other and wrestling?"
"Haha, yah, sounds terrible Tasha. I mean what girl would want that....right?"
"Funny Nika. But that's not the only thing I want."
"My friends doofus, he was starting to resent them being around. And his friends felt the same way `cause he kinda started blowing them off. He just got too possessive and didn't want to share me Nika. I put up with it to a point, but these are my Jr and Sr years in high school, and probably the most important, and I'm not gonna spend them all with one person. It might sound selfish to you Nika, but I wanna go places and see things and have some fun. And if he can't allow me time for those things too, then I hadta cut him loose."
"Now, I understand sis. But what's he doing now?"
"He's dating a girl from Cedar Falls High a couple towns over. We bump into each other sometimes at parties and stuff, and we're still friends. And he still asks about you, what you're doing, and if you're ok."
"That's soo kool. It makes me feel good inside. Tell him I said hi next time you see him, and that I miss him."
"He already knows that Nika, but I will."
"So the girl he's dating, is she cute?"
"Of course, he doesn't date ugly girls."
"Kool, I guess he got what he wanted then?"
"Not exactly, she's a cheerleader, and now he's in the same fix he was with me. She's very social and active with her friends."
"How stupid. Why would he make the same mistake Tash?"
"People just do Nika....they do it all the time, repeating their mistakes. Listen up little brother, the best advice I can give you when you begin dating and your search is this: Identify what you like, find that person, and make it work. If you do that, you'll find happiness and not repeat the same mistakes over and over again. I use to think it was just girls that would describe the perfect guy, usually one right in front of their noses, and then jump into a relationship with some trouble making, lazy, loser. But I've learned it's guys too who make the same mistakes."
"Ok sis, but I think I've identified who makes me happy and made my choice."
"Yah, and may I ask her name?"
"Yah umm, well, ya see, it's kinda comp-”
"Come on dork, spit it out. I won't dump on you if I don't like her."
"Her name's Cody."
"Ughhh, shut up Nika, you little dork!"
"No, I mean it Tash, it's Cody."
"Whatever Nika. If you're not gonna be serious then I'm gonna leave."
"LISTEN up sis, I am being serious."
"Fer real Nika, your not shitting me? You and Cody?"
"Just recently, haha, I don't know how, it just is."
As she finished my hair, "Fuck, that's soo krazy little brother. No way."
"Thanks for my hair sis."
"You're welcome baby brother. Phew! I'm gonna sit down a second. You better not be fucking with me Nikita."
"I'm not Tash. It's a really long strange story, but it is what it is."
"You mean all this time you've been wiping out pillows and pillow cases, it hasn't been a girl that you've been masturbating to, it's been your best friend?"
"No, that's the weird thing, it has been girls, it has been lots of girls, since I was like eleven and started jackin-off. Its just been him that's been creeping into my mind since last year, and it's just been the last month or so that I put it all together."
"Wow, I have a gay little brother. I always kinda knew about Cody, but you? Are you sure he hasn't put you up to this or brainwashed you Nika? Are you sure you're not confusing loyalty and friendship with love? I mean it's not at all unheard of for boys your age to experiment with sex and have physical relations with one another. It's because you guys are so sexually pent up, confused, and in need of physical attention and release. I see how needy you get sometimes Nika, and understand how painful it is for you to be so stiff and hard all the time....and have blue balls. I was there to wash and dry you off, dress you, and tuck you back into bed the night you came into my room crying after your first wet dream."
"I know what you're trying to say Tash, and you're right. I know guys mess around, but this is different."
"Are you sure Nika? I want you to be sure. Choosing a gay lifestyle can be very difficult and make your life that much harder. I don't want you together with Cody because of a lack of options."
“I don't know about picking out a gay lifestyle and all that Tasha. I mean, I haven't thought that far ahead, and I don't think I'm gay. But probably bi. I mean, I wanna have a wife and babies someday and raise kids. Or maybe a husband and raise kids. I haven't thought that far ahead. But I know right now at this time in my life, I love Cody and not just as a friend and brother anymore."
"Maybe we should talk about this more little brother. I mean, you sound like you may be a little confused. Maybe we should think about getting you counseling?"
"Fuck that Tasha, I'm not telling you shit anymore. Fuck you!"
"Stop Nikita, get back here, right now."
"What, why? You said you wanted to be close again, we had a nice talk. And then you talk that counseling shit?"
"It's just cause I love you and don't want you making a mistake with Cody."
"Ohh, like you made with Garrett?"
"I didn't make a mistake with Garrett Nika, and I don't regret any of the time we spent together. It was a great learning experience and we both took away more from it and are better people than when it started."
"And the same it true for me and Cody. I experienced feelings and emotions last night that I never dreamed were possible with anyone. And if it turns out to be a mistake, then what the fuck, so be it. I'll still have become a better person for loving him and experiencing what we have. And any of the doubts I had before this conversation, speaking with you put them to rest. And for that I thank you."
"How did I put any doubts to rest, and do I now get the blame if things go south?"
"Didn't you just tell me, "Listen up little brother, The best advice I can give you as you begin dating and your search is this. Identify what you like, find that person, and make it work. If you do that, you will find happiness and not repeat the same mistakes over and over again?"
"And, I've identified what and who I like. I have found that person, err, we have found each other. And now, we'll start making it work!"
"I hope so Nika. It may be more difficult than you think. And what about those doubts you were talking about. It ain't gonna work with any doubts."
"The doubts I was talking about didn't involve our love or decision Tash. They involved how people would view and tolerate us, and any verbal or physical abuse we might take. That's why we aren't going public, but just letting the people who we love and trust know. And as far as school, if there are any rumors started and anyone wants to harm us, there's always Blake and the rest of the posse."
"Good thing Nika, `cause Cody may look like a lean, tough boy, but he's not exactly a fighter. And you, you're not a big kid at all sweetheart! And besides that, secrets never stay secrets for long. Who knows, I mean who have you guys told?"
"Haven't had much time to tell hardly anyone. The only ones who know besides me and Cody are Blake, Sasha, and you. Oh, and Sequia, but he always seems to know everything before everyone else.....or before it's even happened, anyway."
"Yah, he's a mysterious little guy....isn't he?"
"You have nooo idea sis. I don't know if Cody has said anything to Abby or Trisha. Or if he even plans on telling Trish at all. I mean shes a little younger than Sash."
"What about mom and dad? And Cody's mom and dad?"
"No, not until they stumble onto it themselves, or confront us on it. Hopefully they never will."
"Don't count on it Nika. And what about the posse and Blake's little demon seeds?"
"Ughhh, the twins. Travis and Wesley may be a pain in the ass for a while. As for the posse, of course. I expect Reiley and KC won't have any problem at all, and Jace may put up a stink at first, but he'll be kool."
"Ok then Tiger, then you sound like you made up your mind. So count me in, I'm on board!"
"Thanks sis, and I'll show you Cody's special, not just a lack of options like you said. And he's a hell of a lot tougher than you give him credit for. Hey, you said earlier that you knew about Cody? But you never thought I was gay or bi?"
"Yah, me and Abby have talked about her little brother a lot. She's always worried about him. We've gone through his computers, both laptop and tower, and have seen some of the gay sites he's looked at. Plus there's the way he's always looked at you Nika. His screen saver on his laptop is your pics and pics of the two of you together over the years. Abby has to clear his memory so their mom and dad don't find anything on the sites he goes to."
"Haha, how kool. But what about me?"
"You on the other hand baby brother, I never had a clue.....I was blindsided big time. And never found a thing on your comps either, cept straight porn sites a couple times, and boy have I looked. You've always been pretty good at covering your tracks on the comps. Actually, very good. You are the computer genius of the family. Thought you were straight as an arrow. Fuck did I call that wrong. I guess I am happy for Cody though. I think he was hurting pretty bad. Maybe this is God at work, making everything turn out ok for him."
"Maybe. Like I said, I don't know if it's forever and I may wind up with a wife and kids someday, but it feels right for now."
"Well, let me know when Cody tells Abby so I can talk to her and we can get a game plan together?"
"Haha. What the fuck Tash, this isn't playoff football, it's just my first love. My boyfriend."
"Yah Nika, but normal boys..."
"WE ARE, normal boys Tash".
"Sorry Nika, I didn't mean that. I meant that.......umm, more traditional boys have it easier. So I want me and Abby to be able to cover for you. Or be there to explain things or squash any bad rumors that may start or get out there. You know, to stand up for you when you guys need someone Nika. Besides, we've already talked about it concerning Cody when he finally realizes he is gay. Now we're just adding you to the mix is all. And Nika?"
"Umm, have you, I mean, do you know, uhhh, what I mean is..."
"What the fuck sis, spit it out.....Congress doesn't take this long!"
"Alright, but don't get mad again."
"Ok, I won't, just don't say something stupid....again."
"Ok, have you two had se, sex, um, I mean, you know, have you and Cody been together."
"Do you know anything about what gay sex is or how it works Nika?"
"Aghhh geez, something stupid."
"No it's not Nika, sex is important, but also isn't a toy. You need to know whats involved and how to be safe. I don't want you two getting any STD's."
'What the fucks an STD...a four wheel drive vehicle?"
"That's a SUV dork, it's a sexually transmitted disease dummy, and you need to be very, very careful Nika."
"Haha, oh yah Tash, I'm gonna infect Cody with something I caught from my pillow, and he's gonna infect me with something he caught from his fist....hahaha, your soo stupid...haha!"
"Ok, I know you two are virgins, and clean, so my bad. But do you know whats involved sex wise between two boys and how it works? And are you ok with that? And don't be embarrassed because we'd be having this same talk about sex if you had chosen a girl, just different subject matter squirt."
"Yah, I've seen some stuff on websites, and heard people talk at school and other places, although it wasn't nice talk. But it's pretty much the same as with girls I guess. Cept you just do what the girl does, with your hand and mouth I mean...haha" blushing as I finished talking.
"Yah kinda Nika, but neither of you have what we do Nika, so a homerun is a little more complicated....do you know what I'm talking about?"
"Yessss. You mean in our butts an stuff....right?"
"That's right little brother. How do you feel about that? Have you done that yet Nika, or has Cody?"
"Nooo....I, er, we haven't!"
"Are you going to, or does that even interest you Nika?"
"NOO, er, I don't know. We haven't got that far, and I don't know if I want that to happen, I mean, I'm still trying to figure that out. Can we stop talking about this now....Please!"
"Yah, sure. But start thinking about where this is going, and we'll talk again soon..ok?”
"Yah, ok Tash."
"You come to me with any questions or concerns you have, or anything that might be bothering you. Remember I'm here for you, and fuck being embarrassed, I'll never laugh at you, and this is important."
"Ok Tash, thank you" as I gave my big sister a huge bear hug and kissed her on the cheek.
"Anything for you Nika...you know that!"
"Oh kool.....thanks. Let's wrap this up sis, I'm starving. I'm gonna go grab a sandwich, want one?"
"Umm, yah. Turkey and swiss, sourdough toast, and don't get too carried away this time Nika, I can't eat like you. Oh, and some of the potato salad."
"Ok, I'm on it. I'll see you downstairs in a few. And I'll give you the heads up when Cody speaks with Abby too."
"Ok tiger, see ya in the kitchen."
That concludes this chapter of Twinergy and Boys of Clear Lake. This is my first attempt at writing so any feedback, direction, or comments are appreciated. Please forward comments to the address below:
*** Special thanks to my friend JJ, a wonderful Nifty Author, who painstakingly takes the time to edit my work, along with all the typo's and long winded sentences.....thank you my friend!
Stay tuned for:
Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake
Twinners United, Posse Divided?