He had moved into the house a few doors down from me months ago, and I still didn't know his name. In fact, I was only able to catch short momentary glimpses of him from time to time. It was a huge curiousity of mine that was driving me crazy with each passing day, and the less I knew about him, the stronger my urges to see him up close got.
I remember the U Haul truck taking up half the street when they moved in back at the beginning of August. It was literally days before I even knew that the family even had a son, as he was evidently more of an 'indoor' type of kid. Usually you can see signs of an 'outdoor' boy plain as day. Because when new families move in, you see bikes leaned up against their fence, or a basketball hoop goes up, something that lets you know the kid inside is active. For 'indoor' boys, however, they sneak past you. All they need is some music, some books, a few movies, and a video game system shuffled by you in a single box, and they're set. It wasn't hard for him to unintentionally avoid me at all. Still...like I said, I was curious. And I kept an eye out for him every single day.
Now....I'm gay, and people around here know that. There isn't much reason for people to whisper, 'Gordon is gay', because it's no big secret. It never was. I pretty much came out when I was 11. Looking back at it now, I'm SO glad that I did it then before all these hormones and awkwardness and insecurities set in. Otherwise, I doubt I'd ever have the courage. My mom took it as a joke, since I was so young. I mean, what does a 6th grader know about being gay. She probably thought I had seen it in a movie or something. But...as time went on and my mind didn't change about it...she realized that this wasn't some silly phase. And I haven't had a problem with it since. To be honest, the kids teased me a little bit at first, but I cared so little for their comments, that they really didn't get the desired effect out of it. I still had good friends, I still had a loving family, I was still just as smart as they were, and probably better looking than most. So they left me alone after the first few months. Some of 'em even became my protectors from other jerks looking to be nasty about it. I told my best friend, Johnny, one day during a commercial break on the MTV music awards. His reaction, after giving me a slightly strange look, was..."I hope Shakira gets naked." Hahaha! Ok, so I'm gay, he's not, and neither one of us is gonna make it a problem. That was all that needed to be said. Nothing has changed between us. In fact, I think we got closer. It's a good feeling not having to hide it, and I haven't felt 'abnormal' in a very long time.
Anyway....I am definitely one hundred percent gay, so trying to secretly stalk the new boy in the neighborhood seems kinda...'predatory'. But it wasn't like that, I swear! I just wanted to see what he looked like and if maybe he'd be a cool person to have living so close by. That's all. Contrary to popular belief, gay boys aren't always looking at every swinging penis that walks by as a potential target for sex. I've never even HAD sex. I just wanted to meet him, that's all.
Of course...if he turns out to be EXTREMELY hot and wants to make me his bitch for the next several years of high school...I won't turn him down!
Three or four days had passed, with me wondering and waiting about the faceless kid down at the end of the block, and hadn't seen so much as a hint that he even existed. But something caught my attention one day as I was walking home from the park. A boy...walking in the same direction that I was. It was just a new face around the neighborhood at first. It could have been anybody. I was walking on one side of the street, he was walking on the other. He was maybe fifteen steps ahead of me, and he was walking with his head down. Not that he was feeling sad or anything, he just seemed to naturally keep his eyes focused on the ground when he walked. I remember walking at just the right pace, not too slow, not too fast, to just watch him for a while. He never looked up, so I had a decent view of him from head to toe. It wasn't what one would call an 'instant attraction', at least I don't think it was. I can't say that he was one of those boys that you stare at and go 'WOW! I wanna sleep with him!' No....this was different. This was like...watching a squirrel running along a telephone wire...just cute enough to watch for as long as you could keep him in your vision. That first late summer day, I was content just looking at him, and wondering what was on his mind. He was expressive in his movements, I remember that very vividly. There was some kind of secret broadcast of emotion that his body radiated in every direction, and trying to decode it was the most interesting activity in the world at that moment. It's the weirdest sensation, suddenly wanting to dive into the life and details of a complete stranger at first glance. But that's exactly what it felt like.
The boy was a little bit shorter than me, maybe a couple of inches. And from the side, I couldn't see his face all that well. He had this dark brown shiny hair that hung gracefully down almost to his chin on both sides, and it kinda bounced a little bit when he walked. What I COULD see of his face, his smallish lips and his perfect little nose, was cool to look at though. He still had some of that adorable babyfat in his cheeks that gave him such a cute profile from where I was standing. He was eating Jolly Ranchers at the time, and as he sucked on the hard pieces of candy, his delicate, almost invisible, dimples would sink into his cheeks every few steps. His clothes had a bit of a grunge look about them, but despite the few holes and tatters of his clothes, a flannel shirt tied around his waist, he still had the sweetened appearance of a clean suburban teenage boy. The kind who was only allowed so much rebellion by a set of very 'careful' parents. The kind who couldn't grow a single hair on his face if he wanted to. The kind who was probably hiding a 'lick and press' temporary tattoo on his arm. It was charming in a boyish kinda way.
He walked with a gentle skip in his stride, a little faster than normal, and he had an IPod with the little earphone discs that wrap around your ear. He was definitely walking in rhythm to whatever he was listening to, because he never missed a step. Everything seemed to be done with some kind of immaculate timing. If I had listened closer to his footsteps, I might have been able to guess the song he was grooving too. Yeah...whatever it was about him that caught my attention...it was subtle. Strong, but subtle.
I followed him for about eight blocks that afternoon. I was actually kinda surprised that we were still headed in the same direction. And when I got to my house and saw him crossing to my side of the street...everything kinda clicked. I remember watching quietly, looking to see if he rang the doorbell. Maybe he was a friend of the kid I had been dying to see? Who knew? But...I secretly smiled to myself when I saw him walk up to the front door, fidget in his pocket for some keys, and then walk right in. He definitely lived there. It was definitely him. And something about that excited me. Then again, I'm only 15 years old. New episodes of "The O.C." excite me.
Days went by without me seeing him again at all. Even when I looked out the window to try and spot him. Even when I hung around out in front of my house to see if he'd come outside. But, like I said before, I only got small glimpses of him here and there. Sometimes I'd come home JUST in time to see him walking into his house. Or I'd see him leaving the house with a friend or two, and occassionally I'd see him getting into the car with his mom or dad to go out shopping on the weekends. But that was it. Never a real 'exposure' to him that I could consider satisfying, and for some reason that I couldn't understand at the time, I longed for it. I mean, he was cute and all...but this wasn't really a crush or anything yet. Not even a slight infatuation. I just....I felt like he had a 'piece' of me from the first time I saw him, and I wanted a piece of him in return. Just to balance things out a little. Seeing him for a total of 12 seconds every couple of days wasn't going to do it for me. But that was all I got. For the longest time....that was all he gave me.
Weeks went by, then months. I thought for SURE that I'd see him all the time once the school year started, but I didn't. Even when I searched the halls in the freshman wing for new faces, I never saw him. Maybe he was a bit younger than I thought he was. Maybe he wasn't even in high school yet. That would explain the sweet deposits of his babyfat. He was still slim, but with this cushioned solidity to him that fit him perfectly. It shouldn't have become such an 'objective' for me, but it was. I think not seeing him there in school disappointed me more than I would have thought it would. Because that was the only real excuse that I ever really had to talk to him short of standing on his porch when he came outside. But what kind of excuse could I use then? He only lived a few houses down from me, and yet it felt like he lived in another galaxy as far as any kind of communication was concerned. It's not like I could just walk over there, knock on the door and ask for the 'mysterious boy that lives there'. I think that goes beyond being creepy. Still...I just felt like I HAD to find out something about him. I thought about him all the time, and it wouldn't leave me alone. It was the strangest thing I've ever experienced with another boy. Especially one that I didn't know.
The weather changed in the coming months, and soon we were covered with large white dunes of snow. In Chicago, I'm surprised that it even took THIS long for winter to come. We pretty much start looking for it right after the 4th of July. I was learning to time my exits going to school to match the boy's down the street. He'd always walk out of the house, pull a little skull cap down over his ears while his soft brown hair hung out at the bottom, and shrug his backpack up onto his shoulders. I waved a few times, hoping to break through some of the mystery and start a conversation. But the most I ever got was a cool nod from him. He never waved first, he never waved back. So that plan wasn't really getting me anywhere. When I went to school this morning, trudging through ankle high snow, I felt my wheels spinning wildly, trying to come up with another plan. I'm not gonna let this kid BEAT me! I'm gonna meet him if I have to push him into a sack and Shanghai him to the basement of some abandoned building!
I felt a gentle slap in the back of my head as I was squeaking my way down the wet-floored hallway of the school, and turned around to see Johnny grinning at me. "Geez, Gordon! Didn't you hear me calling you just now? I nearly broke my neck trying to catch you."
"Oh...sorry. My mind is wrapped up in something right now." I told him.
"Yeah, well unwrap it for a few minutes and listen to this...I talked to this kid, Andy, early this morning, and it just so happens that his brother is no longer dating Jessica Tiddle. Can you believe that?" He grinned.
"Um...yeah, I guess."
"No! What are you talking about? They were like...gonna be together forever. This is a major upset here!"
"Sorry. I meant to say...'NO! Seriously? That's the most unheard of thing that I've ever...um...heard of'." I said with mock surprise.
"Real nice. Support my enthusiasm, why don't you?" He answered.
"I know how crazy you are about her, Johnny...she just...rubs me the wrong way, you know? You can do better."
"Better like dating YOU, I suppose?"
"Eww! Gross! Don't put a bad taste in my mouth!" I said. "Besides, this Jessica girl is all cutesy and 'fluffy'. I thought you HATED that in a girlfriend."
"I do...usually. But I'd love to hate her up close for a couple of weeks, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, well forget about it. She's much too pretty for you anyway." I held back a smile as much as I could, but the look on his face brought it out of me.
"Fuck you, Gordon. What do you know about girls anyway, ass master?" He giggled.
"I may be gay, but I know beauty when I see it. It's probably the only thing rattling around in that big head of hers." He smiled, but I didn't want him to think I was serious. "Awwww, Johnny, come on. I'm kidding! Geez! If you want her, go for it. I wish you the best. But when you figure out she's got the intelligence of a dust bunny, don't say I didn't warn you."
"Intelligence? Psh! We're 15, dude. Rating a hot girl like that on her intelligence is like rating a porno for its dialogue." He smirked. "Just let me enjoy my youth, will you?"
"Have at it, avenger." I replied, "Look, I gotta run. I've got library late fees to pay before History. So I'll see you later."
"No problem. I'll talk to ya later then." He said, and he tapped me on the shoulder as we went our different ways. But the second he was gone, my mind went right back to the boy on my block. It was almost instantaneous, and it was becoming more of an annoyance than a simple thought at this point.
It wasn't until the following Monday, at 6:30 in the morning, that I finally got my first taste of who that boy was. The weather was quickly degrading into a full blown Chicago winter, and now that Thanksgiving was overwith and Christmas was rushing at us top speed, the snow was moving in to invade the whole city. There were blankets of it all over the neighborhood driveways and sidewalks, and the plow trucks had all come through to move the snow out of the street, and splatter it on everybody's car, along with a heavy dose of salt and slush. My parents had already recruited me as the self appointed 'snow shoveler' of the family since I was 12, so I had to get up early before school and clear a path. I stood outside in that ice cold weather, bundled up in a hat, gloves, and scarf, with my cd walkman earphones underneath my earmuffs, and started shoveling. I might have been out there for only five minutes until I noticed the sound of another shovel coming from further down the street. It wasn't strange to hear anyone else shoveling, but they don't usually do it at this time of morning when I'm out here. So I looked over and saw the same boy...struggling to push his super big shovel forward through the mounds of snow in his driveway. He didn't look like he was dressed warmly at ALL. In fact, all he had on was a jean jacket over a sweater and a few layered shirts, along with the same skullcap he had on before. His cheeks were so red and flushed, his nose sniffling and all. He was wearing gloves, but he kept rubbing his cold hands together anyway. I watched him as he continued to struggle with that shovel, nearly leaning all the way forward as his gentle weight attempted to battle the barricade of ice in front of him. And when he finally got enough snow on his shovel to flip it to the side...it was too heavy for his young arms to lift it. And the teetering load would mostly drop half of it's contents right back in front of him. This kid was obviously new to this.
It wasn't my earlier curiousity that made me start walking down a few houses towards him. It was more just a natural need to help someone who needed it. But as I got closer enough to hear his little grunts and huffs while trying to put his muscles to work for him, I realized that this was probably the closest I've ever been to him in the whole four and half months that he'd been living there. And I was gonna actually MEET him! Right now! I have to admit...I was REALLY excited about that.
I finally approached him, and he was wiggling his tiny little butt in an attempt to push himself harder. His feet digging into the sidewalk behind him, his lips pressed together tight as he strained to push on. Hehehe, it was kinda cute watching him. He was really trying so hard. "Hi!" I said, and he finally looked up, his blushed face finally coming into view for the first time. He was absolutely enchanting, with an angelic look about him that made his soft features almost look airbrushed, even when you saw him up close. And he possessed a set of big hazel eyes, almost bright green, that made you weak in the stomach when you looked into them. I figured he would be good looking, but I didn't expect him to be quite THAT cute. From a distance, you wouldn't have guessed it. It really caught me off guard to see such a beautiful boy standing before me. "Um....you need some help?" I asked.
"No thanks. I got it." He said, and tried pushing again. Still struggling.
"Are you sure? I mean...it looks like you're having a little bit of trouble there."
"No trouble. I'm just...tired, that's all. Besides, it's not like I've never seen snow before." He said, with a gentle teenage cockiness lacing his statement.
"So you're from Chicago?"
"Not really..." He said, still struggling, his cute little face scrunching up as if it would help.
"Where did you move from?"
He sputtered out of energy, and gave up for a few seconds to catch his breath. "Um....Arizona." I had to hold back my smile. Arizona?
"A lot of big 'snowstorms' in Arizona this time of year...huh?" I grinned. The boy, not too ashamed to poke a little fun at himself, could only smile back in return. Then tried pushing the shovel again.
"Well...I'll get used to it. Ungh!" He pushed hard, and got a giant scoop of snow on the end of his shovel again, then trying to pick it up. Hehehe, he practically had to balance all of his delicate boyish weight against it to get it off of the ground. And then he strained to tilt it enough and drop half of the contents onto his snow covered lawn, and the other half all over the sidewalk again. He puffed a bit in frustration, his breath misting through the cold air, and with a sniffle he stood up straight again. "Maybe...I can use...just a 'little' help."
He smiled when he said it, and it caused his whole face to brighten up. It was one of those smiles that causes you to mirror its intensity without even knowing it. "You're digging too deep. You get too much on your shovel and it gets to be too heavy. It's better to do just a little at the time, like this." I said, and took a few scoops off for him. "And hold your shovel a little bit lower on the handle. It helps, trust me."
"Ok..." He said, still catching his breath. "...Thanks." And I heard him sneeze, wiping his nose with his sleeve.
"Aren't you COLD out here?"
"Don't you have a bigger coat?"
"No. My mom was gonna take me out to get one this weekend. But we didn't expect the snow to drop on us so fast like this."
I thought about it for a second, and said, "Well...if you want, I could finish this up for you. I mean, I've got some extra time and all."
"Oh dude, you don't have to do that. I can finish." He refused, and then sneezed again.
"It's alright. You'll just owe me one later...now that you know how." I grinned, and although it took him a second or two to try to figure out why I was being so friendly, he eventually smiled back. I took that little break in his defenses to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Gordon."
I stuck out my hand, and he actually took off his glove so he could shake it. Skin to skin. "I'm Seth." He said. His voice was pretty 'young sounding'. Not like a ten year old or anything, but certainly a sight younger than me.
"I just live down the block, about two or three houses down."
"Yeah...I know. I've seen you waving before." He said. His eyes really were amazing, and I felt drawn to him through this apparent sweetness that they radiated with every blink.
"You never wave back."
"I nodded." He grinned.
"And I suppose that's enough, huh?"
"It should be, you're a stranger."
"Ahhh...touche." I giggled, and he took some steps back as I started shoveling again. He stood on the small front stoop of his house, watching me shovel with his arms wrapped around his chest, bouncing and shivering as the cold wind whipped around him. I could see his teeth chattering under the red tip of his nose. "You know...this doesn't necessarily have to be a 'spectator' sport." He gave me a confused look. "Go. Go in the house. Warm up, have some hot chocolate or something. I'll finish this up for you."
"I feel bad. Are you sure?" He said, his lips practically turning blue as his little frame trembled before me.
"Yes. I'm sure. Don't worry about it. K?"
He nodded, and then, with the cutest grin he said, "Thanks, Gordon."
'Thanks Gordon'...'Thanks Gordon'...'Thanks Gordon'...the way that he said it...I kept replaying it in my head over and over again. That whole day in school, it was basically the chant that kept me awake all day. That little bit of friendly contact was really special to me for some reason. And all I could think about was how it was an 'opening' to talk to him again. And again. And again. I know he was younger than me and that I didn't know anything about him really...but a teeny tiny little infatuation was growing. I could feel it inside. It came down on me out of nowhere. I didn't invest much emotion or anything into it because I knew that it wasn't much more than a cute face, a frenzied set of hormones, and a slight bout of lonliness, that made his presence shine so brightly to me. But it was there, sitting in the center of my heart. A seed had been planted. And with just a little care and nuturing, it was sure to grow into something wonderful.
Don't worry...sex never entered the equation. It wasn't that kind of attraction. Trust me, I KNOW that kind of physical 'need' for somebody better than anybody. And this wasn't it. Like I said, he was just...I don't know...he was CUTE. Like....'hamster' cute, you know? You wanted to pet him, and watch him, and feed him...it was a sweet little 'pull' in his direction, created by the fact that you loved to look at his face. That's all. I liked the feeling. So it made me smile, so what? I'm allowed to drink in a sweetheart every now and then and not get caught up in it too badly, right?
I think I mentioned Seth's name in passing to Johnny during our ride home on the bus, more accidentally than on purpose, and he instantly let his mind run wild. "Seth, huh? I haven't heard that name before. Seth. Who is Seth, Gordon? Huh? HUH?!?" He said, poking me in the side.
"It's not LIKE that! Why do you always automatically assume that I'm in love with every boy that I talk about?" I grinned.
"Because! I wanna see you get 'busy' with somebody already! What are you waiting for? I'll bet ya half the closet cases in school are already half way in love with you anyway. So quit torturing 'em and go for it."
"They are not!"
"I'll bet they ARE! Maybe Seth is one of them?" He grinned.
"He's NOT, ok? Seth doesn't even GO to our school." I told him.
"Ooooh...an import>! How exotic!" Johnny giggled. "So...come on, tell me about him."
"No. Forget it now. You've built it up too much."
"I wanna know! Give me some info! C'mon, don't be a dick!"
"No. I'm not gonna do it. I was gonna tell you, but you spoiled it now. So just forget it." I giggled back.
He paused for a bit, looking at me to see if I would change my mind. Then he said, "You're really not gonna tell me, are you?"
"Nope." I said quietly.
"Ok. Alright. Have it your way. In that case, I'm not gonna tell you what happened with Jessica today when I asked her out."
"She turned you down and you walked away?"
"DAMMIT! Who told you that!" He said, slugging me in the side.
"What can I say? Girls tell me things. And word gets around pretty fast."
"That is SO unfair!" He shouted.
"Yeah....it IS, isn't it?" I said, and got up with a smile as the bus pulled over to my stop. "Don't worry about her, Johnny. She wasn't the 'catch' you made her out to be." Then I added, "You're much too pretty for her anyway."
He smiled warmly back at me and said, "Don't go getting all 'After School Special' on me, just go." So I gave him a small wave, and stepped off the bus.
Walking home from school in the snow is always much easier than trying to stomp your way through unshoveled walkways on your way there in the mornings. There's already a patted down path for you to walk in, and it's been compacted enough to give you a somewhat stable surface to walk on. So I was able to keep my pants legs from getting all wet and cold. I kept my scarf wrapped around my face to keep my lips and nose warm, panting as I hurried to get to the safety and warmth of my house and a cup of instant hot chocalate. However, as much of a rush as I was in to walk the three blocks to my house...I managed to warm up instantly when I saw Seth coming down the block towards me. Suddenly...I felt like I could stay outside all day.
"Enjoying the sun?" I asked with a smile, as he was obviously cold.
"Actually, I'm kinda locked out of the house. Hehehe!" He blushed. Or was that the rosey glow of his ice cold cheeks? "I left my keys in my pants from yesterday like a dumbass. It's alright though, I called my mom from the corner store, and she's on her way from work to open the door for me."
"Hehehe, and exactly how long is THAT gonna take?"
"Well, it's been fifteen minutes, so....another fifteen minutes, if traffic is decent." He smiled.
"This is Chicago...traffic is NEVER 'decent'." I grinned. "You wanna come in for a while? You can at least keep warm while you wait."
There was the smallest of pauses, as he looked up at me with those glorious hazel eyes of his, and then warmed me over with his smile. "Can I?"
"What? Am I gonna leave you out here in the snow? Come on, Arizona boy...I'll make you some hot chocolate."
"Double packet?" He asked in the sweetest way.
"Is there any other way to drink it?"
I looked over at him and smiled at the idea of him accepting my offer so joyfully. "You, my friend, are an expert. Deal." And we both walked up to the front door to go inside.
Seth was overly polite in a boyishly cute kinda way. He must have stomped his snow covered feet off for a full three minutes before stepping into the house. And even then, he made sure that he took his shoes off right away so as not to track in any snow. I went into the kitchen to grab two big mugs and a few packets of the instant hot chocolate. The directions said only one packet per cup of water, but as Seth and I already agreed, twice as much is better. I then filled them with hot water, dropped a large swollen marshmellow in each mug, and put them in the microwave for a minute or two. When I walked back into the living room, Seth was curiously exploring the room, mostly looking at the movies on the shelf above our entertainment system. I didn't say anything at first, just kinda admired his form for a few moments. He had taken his hat off, and it allowed his soft brown hair to drape beautifully down to his jaw. And his little sock feet were darkened a bit from the dampness of his shoes. His cargo pants hung a bit loose on him, but you could still make out his shape if you looked hard enough. Such a seductively sweet body. He had the cutest little boy tummy, that stuck out ever so slightly, causing the curve of his back to make his tight little butt stick out. The pouty cheeks looking firm and round, the kind of butt you wanted to lay your head down on every night before bed. Wow...he really was good looking. I felt myself being a bit more attracted to him than I was before. Like...in a more physical way. It couldn't just be called innocent curiousity anymore. He was...alluring.
"Oh, sorry." He said, when he noticed me watching. "I was just looking around a little bit. You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all. Help yourself." I smiled.
"You got 'Night Of The Living Dead' out here..." He grinned, and held up the case. "...empty."
"So it's in the DVD player, right? You were watching it? Recently."
"Hehehe, watching the king of the zombie movies this close to Christmas? Very cool."
The fact that he referred to it as the 'king of the zombie movies' let me know that I had a fellow fan in Seth. The realization of that tiny connection made me really warm and happy inside. "That's just the tip of the iceberg. Come here, follow me." I said, and led him into my room, where I had movie posters and DVDs for some of the best cult movies out there. I was hoping I was right about him being into this kinda stuff, and by the look on his face when he saw the old Christopher Lee 'Dracula' poster...I was right. "You like?"
"Whoah! That's awesome! Where'd you get these posters from?" He said, walking into my room and actually walking over to run his dainty fingers over he poster itself.
"There's this old shop in town that's got tons of them. The vintage ones can be kinda expensive, but you get some good deals if you know where to look. I'll show you where it is some day. I'll take you in and introduce you to Pete. He'll hook you up."
"Really? Cool! Thanks!" Then he stopped. "WHOAH!" He said, his eyes wide in childlike wonder, as he saw the DVDs on the bookshelf. Almost 150 of them. "You have, like....EVERYTHING!" I felt a pleasant quake rumble around in my chest, and I smiled as I sat on the bed and watched Seth look from one corner of the shelf to another. Everytime he saw something he liked, he would reach out and touch it. As if he had to actually feel it to make sure it was real. It was a cute little quirk that only made him stand out to me a bit more than before. "Swamp Thing, and Rawhead Rex...OOH! The Stuff! No WAY! I've only seen this one ONE time and I never saw it again! Damn! You're awesome!" He said.
The compliment gave me a full blown shiver when he said it, and for some unknown reason, I felt myself begin to stiffen down below. By NO command of my own! It just happened on it's own, and I was forced to lean forward so that my lap wouldn't show the tent growing there. "I try to get them all. The cult ones, anyway. They can be kinda hard to find sometimes. I've got most of the Troma ones too, if you wanna see 'em."
Seth turned around and his eyes sparkled so brightly. You would have thought he had found a buried treasure in the backyard. "This is probably the coolest collection I've ever seen." He giggled. "Half of this stuff is impossible to even RENT, much less buy. You're lucky."
"Well...since I'm lucky, maybe you can be lucky too." I said. "You wanna borrow a couple of them?"
He nearly gasped at the idea. "Omigod! Are you serious? Really? Can I?"
"No. Actually, I was gonna watch every last one of them in a 325 hour long marathon. So I'm afraid I can't spare any." I joked. "Of COURSE you can borrow some. It's not like I don't know where you live. Just pick out whatever you want."
"Omigod! You're the best!" He said, and his little bottom shook in front of the bookshelf as he seeked out something he really wanted. He grabbed one movie, then another, then another. Hehehe, he was certainly having a blast.
"Got enough?" I giggled.
"Oh....hehehe, sorry. Ok, that's it. I'm done. OH...and this one! That's all. And...this one too. Annnnnnd...this one." He said as he picked up a few more. "Oh shit! And 'C.H.U.D.'!!!"
"Are you sure 9 movies are gonna be enough?"
"No, not really. I'll burn through these by tomorrow."
"Well take your time. I don't want to turn you into a shut-in or anything." I said, admiring the gentle way he had just used his hand to push his silken locks back off of his smooth cheeks. Believe it or not, I found myself staring, and had to push my gaze in another direction before I got completely hard. "Um...so..."
I heard the microwave go off, and he shuffled out of my room in his sock feet. "Don't worry, I'll get it." The second he left the room, I reached down and adjusted myself. Damn teenage thoughts. Down boy! We're just hanging out for goodness sakes, and my body's acting like it's gearing up for 'the big event'. Moments later, Seth returned with the two cups, his speedy pace causing some of the hot chocolate to run over the sides of the mugs and burn his fingers a little. He was happy to put them down. I left him plenty of room to sit next to me on the bed, but instead he crossed his legs and plopped right down on the floor in the middle of the doorway.
"You can sit on the bed, you know? Or, if you want I've got a chair..."
"Nah, I'm cool." He replied, and sipped his hot chocolate like it was nothing. Everything about him was what you would call 'unexpectedly cute'. Little quirks that you don't think you would notice, but when it happened, you couldn't help but smile at its purity, and its innocence, and its charm. Him sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor facing me, and drinking his double packet hot chocolate with the rapidly melting marshmellow added...was but one of those delightful quirks.
We talked for almost a half hour, and the more I heard him speak, the more those shivers inside seemed to increase. The more those 'hamster cute' antics turned into something of beauty and deliberate genius. It was getting harder and harder to not stare at him, and I thought to myself...omigod, I'm fallng for an 8th grader. He didn't seem like one, to be honest. There were hints of boyish energy and naivete here and there that would shine through in his personality, but for the most part, he was just as mature as anyone I'd come across in high school. Even moreso than some. Seth was such a playfully 'wholesome' kid, with a delightful streak of unkept mischief that he tried to hide behind a pretty smile. He made for good company, good conversation, he asked tons of questions and had no hang ups about sharing things about himself. He was actually kinda....dreamy wen you think about it.
Finally, we heard the honking of a car horn, and he hopped up to run into the living room and look out the window. His mom was home, no doubt wondering where he had gone to. "That's her. I've gotta go." He said, and he was already bouncing across the room to put his shoes back on. I had to admit, I was a bit disappointed that our little moment together was coming to an end. Still, I didn't want my sudden affections to clamp down on the kid and freak him out. Like he said before, I WAS just a stranger. But...I LIKED him. A lot. I almost didn't wanna let him go.
"Do you wanna finish your hot chocolate?" I asked.
"No thank you. You can have it if you want. Don't worry, I don't have cooties." He said politely. "Thanks for letting me in, Gordon. That was really cool of you."
God...the simplest compliment from that boy, and I'm all ready to blush and giggle like a toddler. "No problem." I answered. "If....if you want to come over...sometime...you know..." I began to fiddle with words, wanting to leave all opportunities wide open for him to come back and let me stare at him some more. "...well....you can just come by anytime you want to. K?"
"OK! Thanks!" He said. Not knowing how difficult it was for me to make the invitation. He was too busy making sure he didn't leave the movies he had picked out behind. "Alright, I'll see ya later, Gordon!" And before I could say goodbye, he had run back out into the cold and shut the door behind him. I watched from the window as he rushed over to his mom's car while it was still running. She walked him up the front steps and unlocked the door for him. He was so happy, practically skipping. He even showed her the movies he borrowed, and her brow wrinkled a bit at the titles of some of the more grotesque ones. Giving him a sort of 'that's nice honey' pat on the head. Then he went inside and she gave him a kiss on the cheek before going back to work. It was such a....'pleasant' afternoon. You know?
I entertained the idea of finding a reason to go over to his house and maybe invite myself in. I even entertained the idea of trying to get him to come back over here. But I really didn't want to push my luck. It wasn't my intention to try to seduce him into anything, not at all. If anything, he was much too 'virginal' for that to even work. And he was two years younger than me, what am I doing? I couldn't understand why he thrilled me so much. I guess I just....I found myself addicted to his presence. I hadn't had enough yet, and he was already gone. Is it even natural to obsess over somebody like this? I'm weird like that sometimes.
I didn't see Seth again for two days, but I thought about him every minute of that 48 hour gap. Mentally picturing him laying on his bedroom floor, on his stomach with his feet raised up behind him, propped up on his elbows, and watching those movies without moving for hours at a time. That's exactly how I imagined him. It was such an adorable image in my mind. Johnny teased me a few times in school about spacing out, but I couldn't help it. Seth was in my thoughts all the time, and I never wanted him to leave. I was hooked.
Then...one afternoon, I heard the doorbell ring, and was overjoyed to see the top of his brown mop in the fogged over window in the door. I straightened out my shirt and quickly fixed my hair, and opened the door to see his smiling face again. "What's up?" I said, and he returned the greeting, pounding the snow off his shoes again and swiftly taking them off at the door to place them on the mat next to mine.
"I brought your movies back. They were DOPE!" He grinned, holding up a little bag and rattling the contents a bit. "Can I get some more?"
"You went through ALL of those movies in two days???"
"Yup!" He was in his sock feet again, his pants legs hanging down over everything but his damp little toes, as they were just a bit too long for him. "So can I?"
"Hehehe, sure. Help yourself." I slightly blushed at his smile, and watched as he walked right past me as though he already knew every inch of my house by heart. I had to walk fast just to keep up with him. By the time I had entered my room, he was already at the shelf, wiggling that cute 'baby boy' ass again like a puppy tail. It was so tight and 'bubbled out' to be so small. It was the kind of ass that was squeezable, but looked solid enough to deflect a tennis ball at full speed with no problem at all. And his pants accentuated it so perfectly. I think this was the first time that I had a few blatant sexual thoughts about him, and......wow. I had to mentally stop myself once I started. The rush of images that came to mind were so powerful that it would be hard to hide if he looked me directly in the eye. He was so cute you just wanted to rub your whole FACE all over his body and feel him breathe! You know? I'd like to think I had a bit more self control than that. But sometimes the pull was stronger than others. "Do you...want something to drink? Or...I think I've got some snacks or something."
"No thank you." I always loved to hear him say that. His voice lifted to such a boyish pitch when he was being courteous. "I can't stay too long. My mom wants me to help with Christmas decorations and stuff. She's kinda 'into' the whole holiday cheer thing."
"Ah, I see. Mine too." I said, but I was already feeling the sting of having him walk out on me again. Our time together was much too short for my taste.
"These will do. Can I borrow them?" He had three more, evidently taking it easy after the last time.
"No problem." I took a look at them, and said, "Dude...you've never seen 'Basket Case'?"
"No. Is it good? It looks kinda gory. I Like gory!" He grinned wickedly.
"Definitely! You'll have to let me know what you think of that one." He was already finished looking, and I knew I probably only had him for another couple of minutes at the most. A feeling of desperation crept into my heart, and I found myself fidgeting again. "Um....hey, Seth...?"
"You know...I mean, you don't always have to run out of here so soon. I mean....if you ever just...wanna stay and watch a few flicks over here, I'd love to have you." I said, with my leg kinda shaking and tapping my heel on the floor.
"Well...I didn't wanna bother you, or anything..." Aww, he was so cute!
"No, you won't be bothering me. I'd kinda enjoy the company." I saw him grin for a split second, and then he sorta blushed a little bit.
"Um...o-o-ok." He suddenly seemed a bit nervous himself, and I wondered if maybe I was speeding things up a little too fast. But I didn't try to fight it. I wanted to spend more time with him. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to just....share some of this good feeling I had inside with him. A part of me needed him to be as happy I was having him near me. "When?" He said, a bit short of breath.
"Well, how about Saturday? Have you seen 'Big Trouble In Little China'?"
"Psh! About a BILLION times!" He said, suddenly bursting out into some made up kung fu moves and making 'sizzle' noises like the lightning guy from the movie. Hehehe, see what I mean? Unexpectedly cute. "But I could ALWAYS watch it again!"
"Alright then. Saturday. Just come over whenever." I said softly. "Besides, there's a lot of stuff you've gotta see."
"Like what else?" He asked, and I was pleased to keep him there for another minute or two. I guided him over to the bookcase to see what 'essentials' he was missing.
"Have you seen 'Dawn of the Dead'?"
"The Original 'Dawn of the Dead'?"
"There was an 'original'?" He said.
"Hehehe, as someone who has won my respect in the cult movie genre, I'm going to ignore that comment." I smiled, and searched the shelf for more. "What about 'Chopping Mall'?"
"Is that the one where he was bringing people back to life?"
"Good man." I searched for more. Then asked, "What about the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'?"
His face scrunched up a bit. "Yeaaaahh, I've seen it before. But I don't like that one so much." He whined.
"WHAT? Are you kidding? This is classic! How can you not like the Picture Show, dude?"
"It's all sing-songy, and make up, and stuff. It's so GAY!" He said, and although he may not have meant it the way that it sounded, I felt this sudden blockade standing in my persuit to be closer to him than I was at that moment. A vice slowly tightened around my heart, and I felt the disappointment causing my smile to dampen as I slowly put the DVD back on the shelf.
"Oh...ok." I just hoped that the feeling wasn't showing on my face. I don't know, I guess it's not so bad. I wasn't in LOVE or anything. So I can't necessarily say that I was losing some big involved relationship or anything. It's just....I felt this sudden limitation on what I could ever expect to get out of this. And something about that hurt. I'll only be able to go so far before I'll have to stop and give him his space. Which means I'll have to hold back. Which ultimately means...I won't ever be able to really put 100% of myself into really knowing him the way I wanted to. That sucked. And I think a piece of me dettached from him immediately. Damn Creator and his army of sexy heterosexual robots! "Well...I guess that's it then. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know."
"Hmm, ok! I'll just watch these then." He said, not losing a bit of his youthful energy. "So I'll come over and see you on Saturday, k?"
"Yeah. Sure." I worked up a smile, and walked with him back into the living room where he shoved his feet back into his already tied shoes. And then I heard Johnny's pattented ring of the doorbell. "Hold on a sec." I answered the door and saw him standing outside. "What's up, Johnny?"
"Hey! What's the word?" He replied. And then I saw Seth stand up again and grab his handful of DVDs.
"Ok, I've gotta go. I'll see you later, ok?" Seth bounced happily out of the door, gave Johnny a quick 'Hi', and then left.
When Johnny walked into the house and I had closed the door behind him, he smirked. "Um...who was that?"
"That was Seth."
"Ohhhhh, THAT'S Seth! Hehehe!"
"WHAT???" I looked at him with that weird suspicious grin. "WHAT???"
"So that's Seth, huh?"
"YES, it is! AND???"
"He's an 8th grader, Gordon. Nice."
"Don't start." I said, blowing off his accusation. "He lives a few houses down the street, for crying outloud. That's ALL!"
"Down the street. Sure. Well how did he get from THERE...to HERE?" I rolled my eyes at his teasing. "Are your parents home, young Gordon? I don't think you should be having strange boys over while they're away from..." But I hit him in the shoulder before he could finish. "Hahaha! Geez, you're TOUCHY! You must really like this kid."
"I DON'T LIKE him!!! I mean...I like him a little bit, but not like that! He's just a sweetheart, that's all."
"Whatever you say."
"What do YOU know about boys anyway, 'muff diver'?"
"I know beauty when I see it. And I know that you didn't take one look at that little cutie pie and say to yourself 'I'd like to get naked and just be his friend for a couple of hours.'" Johnny stared at me for a reaction, and I tried to keep a serious face, but around him, that was pointless. "Am I right?"
"Whatever. Just shut up about it already."
"Hehehe, you are SO emotionally constipated." He said, shaking his head. "Anyway, I just wanted to pop over for a minute to see if you were up to going to a hockey game at the community center tonight. Jessica's older brother is playing and I figured I'd stop by. You know....just to try to make some more points with her if I can."
"Oh, you mean like the 'points' you made with her before?"
"Hey...it's not over until the fat lady sings."
I grabbed a hold of Johnny's two shoulders and gently shook him. "The fat lady has ALREADY sung! She's BEEN singing! She's STILL singing! She's practically coming out with a cd box set anthology next week! Give up already! She's....not...worth it!" I grinned.
He paused for a second. "You know...it's THAT kinda thinking that kept Romeo from his Juliette."
"Yeah, that and a vile of POISON!"
"What's the big deal? C'mon! Go with me. It's hockey! It's a bunch of well built cute boys on the ice. How can you turn that down?"
"Sorry. Too much 'uniform' on hockey players. It covers up everything. Now...if you get tickets for boys wrestling, we'll talk."
"Suit yourself. But I'm gonna be real lonely there by myself. Surrounded by tight bodied gay boys that can skate." He said.
"Nice try. But no cigar." I told him. "But, I was gonna have Seth over on Saturday to watch 'Big Trouble In Little China'. You feel like coming over? You should meet him. He's cool."
"How can I turn down the infamous Jack Burton? Hehehe! You've got it. Color me here." He said, and zipped up before saying goodbye and going back outside. Leaving me to sulk for a little bit by myself. It wasn't gonna be so bad I guess. I just wished Seth hadn't let that 'gay' comment slip. It kinda tainted my expectations a little bit. Oh, I don't know...maybe it was silly from the beginning. But sometimes the other organs do the thinking when your brain should be the only one in control at all times. I just have to keep my dick and my heart from trying to overthrow my common sense on a daily basis. That's all.
The weekend rushed up on me, and to be honest, I was kinda happy to be relieved of some of that tension that came from seeing Seth again. Since I had made the decision to put him in that 'untouchable' category with other straight boys, beautiful strangers, and hot celebrities, being friends with Seth would be fine. It wasn't all about sex and candy kisses anyway. He was cute, he was cool, and he was close by. If anything, that realization should make things easier. But...when he came to the door looking all sweet and giggly...I still felt some of that weird attraction to him pulling on my chest and making me crazy. He came in and took off his shoes, walking straight to my room. He had a specific routine down pat already.
Then...he kinda took me by surprise. "Gordon?"
"Can I ask you something? And promise you won't get mad?"
"Get mad? Um...okaaaay." I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but he sorta started looking all around the room and getting all bashful on me.
"I don't know if I 'should' though. I mean...it's prolly not true." He said. "This kid, Max, at my school...he's stupid. He doesn't know what he's talking about half the time anyway."
I was confused. "I'm afraid...you lost me here, Seth."
He got more nervous, and mumbled under his breath while looking down at the carpet. "I heard something, and he was probably lying or something, but...like...." He paused, and then asked, "Are you gay?" He peeked up at me very briefly from under his almond brown strands of hair, and then looked right back down at the floor again.
I really hadn't expected this question to come up quite so soon. It frightened me a little bit, and I wasn't quite sure how he was going to take the news either way. When you come out of the closet, you sorta have to promise yourself, above all else, to always be totally honest whenever somebody comes right out and asks if you're gay. It's the only way you'll ever get used to saying it. It's the only way you'll ever stop feeling any shame from it. Normally, I had no trouble sticking to that rule. But looking at this precious boy, asking me the 'question of all questions', timidly trying to avoid my gaze and trembling slightly in anticipation for an answer...I felt differently. And this is one of those few times when I wish I could tell him 'no'.
"Max told you that, huh?" I asked quietly, and he nodded slowly. Only meeting my eyes for a few seconds here and there. "Well....it's....kinda....complicated..." I started, but that wasn't going to get me much of anywhere. Besides, that was breaking the rule, and I might as well tell him the truth. He was gonna find out sooner or later anyway. "Actually...yeah. Yeah I'm...I'm gay."
I think it made him extremely nervous, and he couldn't take his eyes off of my shoes. I was hoping to God that he didn't decide to go home or stop speaking to me. The LAST thing I wanted was for this to be weird for him. Then, he mumbled something that I couldn't quite understand. And when I asked him to repeat himself, he said, "I'm sorry...for what I said about the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's not gay."
What? Was THAT what he was worried about? "Aw, Seth...don't worry about that. It's forgotten. No biggie."
"I didn't know about you then. I wouldn't have said it if I did. That was so rude."
"FORGET it. Don't even think about it, ok? I'm just glad you're not running in terror right now." I smiled.
"Nah. I wouldn't do that." He said. "I'd miss 'Big Trouble In Little China'." And we both had a little chuckle or two. He seemed to breathe a bit easier after that was out in the open.
"Come on, let's go in the other room." I guided him back to the living room and he plopped down on the couch, a teenage slump causing him to lean back and spread his legs wide open in front of him. Sighhhh...sometimes, he really has no idea how gorgeous he is. "You want hot chocolate?"
"And marshmellows. Of course." I said, and he nodded. So I went into the kitchen to fix ourselves up with some. And he soon got up to follow me into the kitchen.
"Does your mom know?" He asked me.
"About you being...you know?"
"Oh...the gay thing? Yeah, she knows. Pretty much everybody does. I was younger than you when I told them." That made his eyes widen.
"Really? Wow! What did they SAY?" He said, as he hopped his sweet little butt up on the kitchen counter, scooting back until his knees touched the edge.
"Hehehe, well...I don't think they were really ready for that. I don't think half of them even 'believed' me at first. But they were ok with it once it kicked in. Nothing much really changed."
"Didn't you get beat up or made fun of at school?"
"Me? Nah! I think that would have been a waste of their time. I got a few 'comments' thrown my way, and a few whispers behind my back. But, in the 'not-so-long' run, it was better to be myself than try to hide it from people who proably didn't care about me anyway."
He paused for a second, not saying anything, and I just kept making the hot chocolate. I put it into the microwave, and he said, "Isn't it weird though? I mean....having people know that you like boys instead of girls?"
He seemed really interested in all this, so I indulged him with a little example. "You like the horror movies and cult flicks I gave you, didn't you?"
"Well, some people find those movies 'strange' and 'weird'. Right? But so what? You like them, don't you? What they think doesn't change that. It's a part of who you are as a person, and it's nothing to be ashamed about. Because there's PLENTY of other people out there who like them too. It's as simple as that."
"Is that why you decided to tell everybody."
"Well, I didn't tell EVERYBODY, Seth. Hehehe! Just my parents and a few close friends at first. And then...I dunno...it got easy. Trust me, it's a LOT harder to hold it in than it is to deal with the folks who don't understand when you let the cat out of the bag." I told him, hearing the microwave go off.
"I don't think my mom would EVER understand." He said softly, and I turned to look at him. "About the MOVIES, I mean." He said quickly. And he suddenly hopped down from the counter. "I'll wait in the other room." He was gone in a flash, and I just grabbed the two mugs and walked in behind him.
As soon as I put them down on the table, Johnny rang the doorbell, and I rushed over to let him in. "Sup dude?" He said, and shook himself off at the door. Seth was on the couch, and I saw him look over at the door to see who it was.
"Seth, this is Johnny." I introduced the two of them, and it seemed alright, but I don't think Seth was expecting anyone else to come over. It showed on his face. Not surprise really...more like...disappointment. The same disappointment that I used to feel when he would leave my company after only staying a couple of minutes.
"How ya doing, kiddo?" He said, and I don't think Seth liked Johnny calling him that too much. Johnny sat down on the couch, and I sat between the two of them. "Let the games begin!" He said, and begin they did.
For the next hour and a half, we watched that movie, with Johnny and I quoting it almost line for line! Having a blast, the tv turned way up, the shades down, and the lights off. WE were having a great time. Seth, on the other hand...seemed really quiet. He had moved from the couch, to sit down on the floor in front of us. He didn't join us in the dialogue, or the jokes, or the martial arts action. In fact, he only really spoke when spoken to, and that was it. For someone who loved this movie as much as I did...he didn't seem to be enjoying it much. It was almost like he was pouting. I didn't really notice until the movie was almost over, but I wondered if maybe I had done something wrong.
When the movie was over, he got up as soon as I turned on the lights. He walked directly over to grab his shoes and started to slip them on. "Seth?" I asked. "Are you leaving already?"
"Yeah. My mom wants me to help put up the rest of the Christmas decorations." He said under his breath.
"I thought you put those up a few days ago."
"Yeah....we did. Um...but she got some more, so." Something was off. Something was majorly wrong here. What did I say? What did I do?
"Are...are you sure?" I asked.
"Yep. I'm sure. Seeya later." He said, and was gone in a flash, closing the door behind him.
"Nice meeting you." Johnny said after the fact. Then he turned to me and said, "Um....listen...I didn't screw anything up by being here today, did I? I mean, if you guys had some personal time planned or something..."
"Personal time? I TOLD you, we're just friends!" I reminded him. "I don't know what happened. He's just..being weird all of the sudden."
"He's not being weird, ya DOOFUS!" Johnny told me. "Helloooo? He LIKES you! What's he gotta do, hit you over the head with a caveman club and drag you home?"
"We barely KNOW each other. What are you talking about?"
"Look, you know how crazy I am about Jessica, right?"
"Oh here we go with the Jessica thing again..." I sighed.
"LISTEN!" He smiled. "I don't know her at all. At ALL. But I look at her, and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and all I can think about is being with her. I KNOW that look, Gordon. And when I walked in here, and he saw you and me having a good time...I saw him look at you...and that was it. You hear me? That was the look."
"You....are an extremely disturbed person. You know that?" I said, and he grunted out of mock frustration.
"Alright. Ok. You win. I'm just saying, he's cute, he's sweet, and he seems to have a very strong affection for you. So if you wanna pretend that you just wanna be friends and that it's all innocent and cuddly and the only reason he comes over here is for the hot chocolate...then go ahead. But....if you want him...really want him...I think you got a pretty good shot." He said, and went to get his shoes. "That's just my humble opinion, of course. Take it or leave it." Johnny gave me a hug before he left, and I stood at that door, wondering if maybe he had seen something in Seth's eyes that I had been missing all along. If maybe...there was more to our little talk in the kitchen today than I thought.
It was hard to sleep that night. Hard to sleep the night after that too. But despite my own questions and conflicts with what may, or may not, be going on here...I think I was more concerned with the idea that I might have hurt Seth's feelings in some way. Maybe he felt left out, maybe he felt like I betrayed him by having my best friend over. I don't know. My mind was constantly spinning in these overlapping circles that repeated over and over again. Little things that I said. Little things that I did. What I noticed about him, and what I hadn't been paying attention to. What I wanted from him in the beginning, and what I wanted from him now that he was supposedly 'out of reach'. Circle after circle, with no real solution. No real definition. It ached to be this confused over someone that I liked so much. You know? And I spent that night wondering if Seth was in his room somewhere...hating me.
I didn't see him for an entire week after that. I looked for him. Every day I looked for him. Twice as hard as I usually did. But caught no sight of him. He must have figured out my schedule, and worked his way around it to avoid me. I even came home one day, and my mother told me that he dropped off the movies he borrowed soon after I had left. Meaning he was probably watching. Meaning....he really didn't want to see or talk to me at all. I think that pierced through me worst of all. So when the next weekend rolled around, I stayed outside in the cold with great determination, just in case I saw him leave. There's no WAY he'd be able to walk out of that house without me seeing him. I waited and waited, the frigid weather chilling me to the bone. And finally, I caught a glimpse of him coming out to get the mail. This was my chance! He hadn't seen me yet, and I decided to approach with a playful attitude, just in case he thought I'd be upset with him or something. So I slinked off behind the houses and crept up on the side of his own. I reached down quietly to grab a loosely packed handful of snow. Then packed it into a small snowball, peeking around the corner to see if Seth was paying attention or not. Luckily for me, he wasn't.
I scooted closer to the corner of the building, my back against the wall, strategically marking my target with sheer focus. And then, before he could vanish from my sights...I leapt out from the corner and tossed the snowball in his direction. It glided on an icy wind, soaring towards it's unsuspecting victim. And then, without warning, it splatered all over his back. I started giggling automatically, and wondered if I should duck back behind the corner, as I was sure to have a small war on my hands after the unprovoked attack. But....when Seth turned around and saw that it was me...he didn't seem happy at all. In fact, his bottom lip poked out a bit, and he seemed half angry and half sad at what I had done. I think that I might have crossed some kind of 'line' here.
"What are you doing here?" He said in a sullen voice.
"What's the matter?"
"You hit me with a snowball. I've had better greetings."
"You're acting weird." I said. "Do you wanna tell me what's going on? I mean...did I do something wrong?"
Seth kinda rolled his pretty hazel eyes, looking up at the sky, his face emotionless. "What could you have possibly done wrong?"
"That's what I want to know. Because I thought..." I stopped for a second, and stepped a bit closer to him to look him in his youthful eyes. "...I thought you and me were 'cool', Seth. If I did something to piss you off, I wish you'd tell me. Because I kinda miss you."
I meant it. Every day that he's been away, my life has seemed somewhat less adventurous. His smile had brought so much to my world, it was hard to keep the same momentum going in my day without it. Or at least looking forward to seeing it. "No you don't." He pouted. His boyish innocence shining through again. "You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not. Seriously. I thought about you all week. I just wanna make things straight between us again. Ok?" I said, and he didn't seem to want to let go of the frown on his face. So I made him an offer. "Look, let me make it up to you. Ok? Why don't you come over tonight. We'll watch some other movie together." His eyes rolled again. "JUST us, this time! Promise. K?" That seemed to brighten the look on his face a bit. "OK???" I asked again.
He nodded hesitantly. "Um....k." He said slowly. Softly. Quietly. I almost felt like he 'surrendered' an agreement, and that wasn't enough. So I tried to get a genuine reaction out of him, and with a little poke or two of my finger, I got him to give me a little reluctant smile. "Hehehe, quit it! I said I was coming over already."
"Well, don't look too happy about it or anything, geez." I said, and his warmth seemed to increase as his eyes flashed me some of that awesome sparkle that they contained before. "I'm sorry, k? Whatever I did...I'm sorry."
"Go home." He giggled, and gave me a little push in the right direction, his smooth cheeks becoming delicately colored with a gentle blush.
"Come over about 8 o'clock. Cool? I don't know, we'll watch something 'Christmasy'." I said, and walked home, feeling better about the situation. Just seeing that playful grin on his face was enough to lift me so high on the balls of my feet. It was like walking on air. I can't believe I'm such a sucker for this kid. I should have my head examined.
My mom and I had set up all of our Christmas decorations, and put up some extra lights around the living room to get rid of everything in the box. By the time we were done, the whole room was blinking, flashing, racing, and tye died with psychedelic colors of every kind. Not to mention that she baked shortbread cookies and the smell lingered throughout the entire house. I don't think it gets more 'Christmas' than this. It almost made you laugh to look at it. I almost expected the walls to be made out of gingerbread.
I heard the doorbell ring at 8:01 PM on the dot. And sure enough, there was Seth standing at my door. His breath was misting up in the ice cold air, and his hair was dark and damp from a freshly taken shower. He was shivering like a wet cat out there, and I invited him into the warmth of our house quickly. "So, are you all set?" I asked.
"Yeah, definitely." He said, and then pulled some movies out from under his coat. "Although, I think I should warn you...I HATE Christmas movies. Hehehe!"
"Really? Shit, so do I. Thank goodness. I had NO idea what to show you. I had "A Christmas Story", which is awesome, but I figured that you would have seen that a million times too."
"Yeah! Nice try though."
"So what kinda Christmas movie is this gonna be then?" I asked, and looked at what he had in his hand.
"I've got 'Halloween II'....Christmas." He said, holding it up. "I've got 'Gremlins'...Christmas." He said, holding that one up too. "And...I've got 'The Thing'...."
"Hehehe, 'The Thing'? That's not Christmas."
"No, but it's got...'snow' in it. Same difference." He said. "What have you got?"
"Hmmm...since we're going that route...I've got the 'Die Hard' trilogy, 'Jack Frost', and 'Silent Night, Deadly Night'. I think we have a pretty full night ahead of us considering it started out without a real plan."
"Cool! We can watch 'em all!" He giggled, walking past me after kicking his shoes all the way off.
"ALL? I don't know about THAT, but we can definitely hit a couple of them." I told him. "Unlike you, I don't burn through movies seven at a time."
"Ooh, cookies! Can I have some?" He said out of nowhere, the look on his face resembling the kind of magic most boys lose after the age of ten.
"Hehehe! Eat yourself into a coma if you want. I'm not gonna be able to take all those down by myself. My mom made like a billion of them. Besides, I've been smelling those cookies baking since yesterday. I feel like I've had fifteen handfuls of them already."
Seth sprouted up to his feet and bounced his way inside to grab a plate and some milk. And as I watched him come back to plop down on the floor right in FRONT of the couch and start eating, I found myself addicted to his antics all over again. His charming presence filling the room with this sensational energy that made him so uncontrollably adorable. I thought about what Johnny had told me, and discovered that I really wished such a thing were true. It was a gut feeling, a practiced instinct, that made me want to be close to him. I could easily imagine Seth and I being so happy together. It just seemed like a fantasy come true to have him in my life 'full time'. The thought made me smile, and I pushed it aside so that I'd get a chance to begin our evening together. I walked over to turn off the lights, and the room went dark except for the tv and the Christmas lights. Instead of sitting on the couch myself, I decided to squat right down on the floor next to him, our backs leaning up against the sofa, and we started watching 'The Thing'. Hey....it's got 'snow' in it.
My mom stopped into the room every now and then to check on us. Honestly, I think she adored Seth as much as I did. She made us hot buttered popcorn, and he treated it as though she had fed us a ten course dinner. He was so nice and polite, that she had to literally tell him to stop calling her ma'am. But he was delightful company, and she was just as fascinated with his glowing energy as I was. He really was a special boy.
I remember that the movie had been playing for a good twenty five minutes or so, when I noticed that it was a bit chilly in the living room. The bedrooms warmed up easily, but all of this open space in the living room takes a lot to heat it. So, instead of turning up the heat and roasting my poor mother alive, I figured I'd get us a comforter to keep warm. When I stood up, Seth grabbed a hold of my pants leg. "Where ya going?" He said. I don't think he wanted me to notice, but I believe this movie freaked him out JUST a little bit.
"I'm just gonna go over to the closet and get us a blanket. Aren't you cold?"
"Alright. I'll be right back." I grabbed a thick comforter and brought it back in front of the couch for us to share. I draped it over my shoulders like a cape first, then sat down, using my arm to wrap the remaining material around his slim shoulders. We scooted a bit closer together and wrapped ourselves up loosely, focusing right back on the movie. Now...there's absolutely NOTHING even remotely romantic about 'The Thing'...but for some odd reason, this level of closeness really made me want him all the more. I was close enough to hear him breathing. Close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of his young body. Close enough to smell the soapy freshness of his shower. I felt such a heavy attraction for him at that moment that it was hard to concentrate on the movie at all.
I would often peek at him out of the corner of my eye, and stare for a few seconds before chickening out and looking back at the tv again. My chest felt a bit constricted, and thoughts of kissing him, even on the cheek, excited me to no end. I wondered what his kiss would feel like. Or what his voice would sound like...saying 'yes' to my question for him to grant me one. Maybe it was his sweet virgin personality that did it. Maybe it was the way his bright hazel eyes twinkled so beautifully when he smiled. Maybe it was the darkness of the room, and the way the flashing Christmas lights danced across his smooth sleek skin in a parade of colors. I couldn't tell. But I suddenly became attached to his presence, and all my other thoughts ceased to exist. I was totally spellbound.
He turned his head, and I didn't look away. Our eyes met for a moment, and he smiled weakly. Causing a warm grin of my own to slide across my face. "I'm glad you came over tonight, Seth. This is nice." I said softly.
"Yeah. This is cool." He stared at me for a minute, and then turned back towards the screen to finish watching the movie. Needless to say, the movie was no longer my concern. I just wanted to absorb as much of Seth's beauty as I could before he was gone again. I cherished every enchanting moment of having him beside me.
An hour passed, and the movie was getting increasingly creepy, but the horror and gore was what Seth and I loved most anyway. But during that whole torturous 60 minute block...I was still entranced by him. During that time, we had scooted closer to one another, our shoulders touching, or legs touching. It was driving me mad. I had to remind myself that he was only 13, and it seemed like it had been such an ICE AGE since I was 13 myself. Only 2 years ago, I felt like I was such a different person. And that made him 'fragile' in my eyes. So I backed off a bit. As much as I could considering that I was falling more and more in love with him by the second. And he wasn't even doing anything. He was just sitting there! But as time went on, and we got comfortable with one another, I allowed a little bit of my affection come through to the surface. I couldn't help it. My body was working much faster than my mind could keep up with. So I slowly, cautiously, allowed my arm to rise up behind him, still under the comforter, and rest lightly on his thin shoulder. At first he tensed up, and I thought I might have made a big 'gay' mistake by doing so. But after the initial shock wore off, he relaxed a bit, and I felt his lithe young body slowly melt into me. Oh wow...oh...oh WOW! His body was soooooo soft. So marshmellow soft. I sighed as I felt him eventually rest his head against my shoulder, and I pulled him close to me. He didn't resist, scooting even closer to relax on my chest under the heavy blanket. This was as close as we had ever been, and as much as I wanted to be comfortable and enjoy it, I was more nervous than ever.
For another five minutes, I held him in silence. Almost afraid to move. I could feel the rise and fall of his soft belly against me as he breathed in and out. It was amazing. And soon, I got the courage to rub my hand slightly up and down his shoulder, feeling him dissolve further into my embrace. It was beautiful. I felt such an intense heat overwhelming me, and all I wanted to do at that moment was hold him. Protect him from the whole world. It kinda frightened me, but I refused to move. It felt too damn good to move.
The movie was almost over, and we had been holding each other for almost fifteen minutes now. It became necessary for me to have....just a little bit more. I don't know why I felt the need to increase this feeling more than where it already had me. Especially since it was already causing my heart to burst as it was. But I needed more. God...I was so scared. But Seth didn't react badly to anything I had done so far, and the more he accepted my affections, the more Johnny's words echoed in my mind. It seemed so surreal, but I had to try. I had to. I very slowly let my fingertips stretch out underneath the blanket, and....one slow inch at a time...I reached out for his hand. My heart was beating soooo hard at the thought of touching his hand, but I kept going anyway. And finally, when the anticipation got to be too much for me to handle, I made contact. I lightly brushed over his fingers, and I felt them slowly wrap around me, tenderly holding my hand. Oh wow........I think I got rock hard instantly, and my breathing nearly stopped completely. I was holding his hand! Omigod...is this even happening right now? I was shivering, and soon felt a slight tremble in him as well. I tried to focus on the tv again, but all I could think about were his sweet delicate fingers gently entangled in mine, and the slow movements we made to rub each others soft skin with our thumbs, the warmth of the blanket bringing the most subtle moisture to our palms.
It's hard to say how long we held hands in silence, but it was for quite a while. Because we saw the end of the movie and half of the credits had rolled before I got the nerve to say anything. Then I cleared my throat and said softly, "Do you wanna watch another one?" I know I was shaking when I said it, but it didn't matter. I think I had very little to hide from him at this point.
Seth didn't give me an answer at first, but then I felt his head nod slowly to say yes. I felt the side of his face on my chest as he did it, and I was hesitant to move from this comfortable position. I gave him a gentle squeeze, pressing him against my side with the arm I had around his shoulder, and the thought of kissing his forehead was pounding away at my sensibilities. But I didn't dare. I just got up from the floor to grab another movie. I hated to leave his embrace! Since it took me an entire movie to earn it through tender touches and slow advances. I was wondering if I could even expect to get that level of connection back again tonight. The second he lifted his head, I felt the cold air of the living room rush underneath the blanket and give me a chill. So I got up on my feet, and put 'Halloween II' into the DVD player. I didn't know what to expect when I sat back down on that floor, but I was hoping it was at least close to what we were sharing a few moments ago.
Luckily, the second I sat back down on the floor, Seth had his arm up to wrap me up in the blanket next to him again. And once I was settled in, he leaned over again, hugging his thin boyish arms around me and laying his head deep into my chest just like before. He held me close, and I was instantly transported right back to Heaven again. I didn't know what I was doing, or why. All I knew was that it felt good. And by the time the opening credits had rolled on that movie, I was completely in love with this boy. Helplessly so. The silence was deafening, and I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. I desperately wanted to decode my OWN thoughts so that I could know what to do next. But I seemed to be barricaded from both options, and was left to make it up as I went along. It was then, that I couldn't help myself anymore, and I leaned my head to the side to lay my head on top of his. I felt his soft hair against my cheek, and my whole body tingled. Seth trembled a little bit, but his arms tightened ever so gently around me when I did it. And I allowed the both of us to get comfortable for the next couple of minutes until I, again, couldn't resist any longer. I turned my head slightly to the side, and took in a healthy whiff of his clean brown hair as I allowed my lips to brush over the top of his head. I held them there briefly. Afraid to actually pucker my lips. Afraid that this would finally break the comfortability that we were sharing at that moment and cross that hidden line in the sand. But he felt soooo good, smelled sooo good. I was so hard that I was pulsing, my tented jeans throbbing with every beat of my heart. And finally, with a jittery stomach and a shakey deep breath...I kissed the top of his head.
I waited for a reaction from him. And I didn't really get one. His breathing stopped for a quick moment, but then, nothing. I let another minute or two pass before getting the courage to do it again. This time, letting my kiss linger in his dark brown locks for a bit longer. And he let his arms squeeze me tight, burying his head deeper into my chest. I couldn't believe it! He was...he was holding me....and he liked it. He wasn't even watching the movie. I could feel his face against me, his warm young breath blowing through my shirt. And I felt his tiny lips pucker slightly to kiss my chest, just underneath my nipple. I was terrified of what this might mean, or what I was going to do with the possibility of being here with a boy I adored more than anything. But nearly froze when he softly whispered, "Promise you won't tell?"
"What?" I asked.
"My mom...my friends...I don't know if they'll understand. Ok?" I was hoping he meant what I THOUGHT he meant, but wasn't sure. My brain was racing, and I couldn't think straight at all.
"Ok...I won't tell." I said, and this time, kissed his forehead. A deliberate kiss. A meaningful kiss. One that he accepted by looking up into my eyes.
My teeth were practically chattering with fear. This felt like such a big step for me. The biggest I had ever taken. But it was a leap of faith that I was willing to indulge in. Just this once. His hazel eyes locked onto mine, the flash of the colorful lights blinking a beautiful pattern on his cheeks. We stared at one another for a while, and I could see the insecure feelings in his eyes. His lips were calling out to mine, but his eyes gave away the scared little boy behind them. I could tell that he was too afraid to lean in first, and that it was inevitably going to be up to me to decide whether to kiss him or not. It terrified me. My GOD, did it terrify me! But I couldn't miss this opportunity, I would die. So.....I allowed myself to lean forward first. My face coming closer and closer to his. I could feel him tense up as he closed his eyes, bracing himself for what I hoped would be the most mindblowing kiss of his life. And I saw the world fade to black as my eyes closed as well...letting my love for him guide me the rest of the way. I felt our lips touch tenderly, and despite my hunger for him, I made sure to take it really slow with him. To let him get used to his lips being against mine. Letting him guide me with whatever knockout fantasy he expected this first kiss to be. I was lost in a daze, and felt weightless as his virgin kiss touched my heart through his timid boyish contact. He opened his mouth slightly, his whole body quaking as we both tried to make sure we were doing this right. But...once our tongues became involved, it was all instinct from there. Oh my God...I was floating! I couldn't believe that I was kissing Seth, feeling his little tongue in my mouth, our arms wrapped around one another...the next five minutes were some of the most intoxicating moments of my entire life.
"Is it chilly in here to you guys?" My mom's voice seemed to come out of NOWHERE! And it scared the shit out of both of us! We stopped kissing IMMEDIATELY and practically jumped back from one another! A gentle smack coming from the suction of our kiss as our lips broke contact. Thank goodness she didn't see us. She was too busy 'passing through' and looking for the heater controls. Seth and I were both panting at this point, blushing furiously at almost being caught. Or even moreso...for what we allowed ourselves to get into while holding hands under that blanket. "You two ok? You're awfully quiet in here."
"Just watching the movie, Mom." I answered. I mean..she knew I was gay and all...but I didn't necessarily want her to catch me and the younger boy from down the street making out on her living room floor. "We're fine." I looked over at Seth, who was scared shitless. He was just staring forward, worried about what she might have seen and what she didn't see.
"Seth?" My mom asked, and he jerked his head around.
"Does your mom know where you are?"
"Yes. She knows." He said, shivering wildly while trying not to look her in the eye. I would have reached out to comfort him, but touching him at this point might have made him break into a panic. "I...I can spend the night, if I call. She said it would be ok." He stuttered.
"Well....as long as you call. Ok?" My mom turned up the heat slightly, and walked back to her room. "Don't you guys stay up too late. Alright?"
"Ok." I answered, and waited for her to close the door. "Seth? Are you alright, dude?"
"Did she see?" He said, looking so pitiful that it almost made you wanna cry.
"No. She didn't see. Promise." I assured him. "Seth....look....if you're not into this, I totally understand."
His look changed. "Did I...do something wrong? I never kissed anybody before..."
"No, no...hehehe! THAT part, you're really good at! Trust me." I giggled, and he let out a sigh of relief.
"Really?" He blushed. "Good. I like how you kiss too." He shyly bit his bottom lip and snickered a bit to himself.
"Sighhh...you're so cute, you know that?" I leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. "But I don't want you to do anything you don't wanna do. Ok? I mean, if you want...we can just watch the movie. That's cool."
"Well....what do YOU wanna do?"
"Don't worry about what I wanna do." I smiled. "I asked you first. Do you wanna watch the movie? Or....?" I left the end open for him to fill in the blank. And he did so without any hesitation.
"I wanna kiss some more, please." He said, that polite tone lacing his cute voice, saying it as if he were asking for another handful of cookies. And I giggled at the sweetness of it.
"Hehehe, me too." And I looked over the back of the couch to make sure my mom's door was closed and her light was off. The coast was clear, and I reached out to bring Seth closer to me. Our lips met again, and he let more of his young passions escape this time as he leaned in to meet me half way. His tongue came out right way, and licked all over my own. It felt as though he was exploring at first, trying to figure out what to do with his tongue as soon as it entered my mouth. And I nearly smiled in mid kiss from having it slowly squirm around aimlessly inside me. But soon, he relaxed a bit more, and just let it gyrate seductively in tune with my own. He was a fast learner, and imitated my every move with ease. Kissing him was easily the experience of a lifetime.
Then, he suddenly stopped. He got up from the floor, and said, "Wait. I gotta call my mom. Can I use your phone?"
"Yeah..." I replied breathlessly. "...It's over there." I watched him walk over to the phone, the most shameless bulge pointing out in front of him. He must have been even harder than I was, and he made no attempt to hide it while he was talking to his mom.
"Uh huh. Can I spend the night tonight? Yeah...his mom said it was ok. Yes....ok...I'll be home tomorrow. Ok....bye." He said, and hung up the phone. I looked away from his tent as he came to sit back down so as not to make him shy about it or anything...but to be honest, it looked mouthwatering. He got back under the blanket with me, an angelic smile decoriting his face. It was like we were playing a game or something, and we were both winning. Then, before I could utter even the simplest of words, Seth reached down and pulled his shirt up over his head. His smooth boyish chest came into full view, and he tossed the shirt aside as he tried unsuccessfully to hide his excitement, aching for another taste of me. This time, he eagerly pounced forward and started kissing me passionately on the lips. He was really enjoying himself, and I wasn't about to stop him. I let my hands slide down his warm soft back, and up his sleek naked sides. His touch was deliciously heated with a sexual fire, and he seemed to stop caring that my mother was just in the other room. We kissed, licked, and sucked at each other's lips, faces, and necks, for a long long time after that. Until we were both breathless, and our bodies were ready to explode.
I could feel his hardness poking me in the thigh every now and then, and I cautiously reached my hand down to rub it lovingly in it's confines. "Mmmm...wait a sec." He whispered, and sat on the floor to undo his pants. I heard the zipper, and then he raised his slim body and tight little butt off of the carpet to slide them off. He was now just wearing boxer shorts and white socks, and he spread his legs wide...taking my hand and placing it on his hot inches. Damn...he was so hard that it felt like it would hurt. But his lips were back on mine in a heartbeat, and I was lost in his kiss again before I knew what hit me. Seth was so damn hot, so damn flexible....his smooth little body wiggling and twisting as much as our position would allow. It took my breath away. And when I felt his hardness slip out of his boxers...touching it....wrapping my fngers around it, from skin to skin, I nearly died. It was wet at the tip, and so silky as the fleshy tube slipped back and forth over its rock hard center. My head was spinning, and I gave him a few slow strokes while we kissed. He whimpered...I mean REALLY whimpered...like a hurt puppy...when I held him there. It was really really too soon for my tastes. But being that young, that innocent, that excited...he couldn't hold out for very long. I felt the pounding pulse of orgasm shoot through his five inch rod, and a hot wet splash of fluids shot out of the head and drenched my arm in his juices. He closed his eyes and held onto the edge of the cushions as he leaned back against the couch and pulled away from my lips. His head fell back on the cushions, and his legs kicked and squirmed as his climax took control of his sleek body. The look on his face was priceless, and I continued to jerk him slowly as his sweet teen liquids spilled out onto the back of my hand and my fingertips. He continued to lift his slim hips off of the carpet, unable to sit still through his lightning bolt of an orgasm, and I leaned forward to kiss him on the neck. The MOMENT my lips touched his warm skin, his body seemed to collapse down to the floor, and more of his seed came gushing out of him. He moaned a bit louder, cooing emotionally as he lost control of himself. Hehehe, he was enjoying this a bit TOO much, and I had to stop kissing his neck before his boyish whines and gurgles gave us away. He could hardly breathe, and used his left arm to throw around my shoulder and hold on to me as though he was going to float away from this Earth. His other hand, was clawing helplessly at the carpet, until his body had recovered enough to relax a bit more. I don't think I had ever seen a more intense release in my life. Ever.
I waited for a moment, letting him calm down and catch his breath. And I looked over the back of the couch again to make sure my mom's light hadn't been turned back on, and that her door was still closed. So far so good. When I came back to Seth, I began to kiss his neck again while he leaned back with his eyes closed. I took my seed covered hand, and rubbed it back and forth all over his thighs and across his tender sack. He had just enough pubic hair to pass the 'peach fuzz' stage, and his skin was so smooth that it was orgasmic to just run your fingers along it's silken surface. I licked at him and he giggled a bit breathlessly, his mouth slightly open in afterglow. I saw the tantalizing lips before me, and leaned in to gently lick them, soon allowing my tongue to enter first before our lips even touched. And we kissed madly for a while longer. Even with all of my fantasies and possible dreams of what it would be like to actually have Seth to give myself to....not a single one of them touched this experience. Not one.
Once he had regained some of his senses, he kissed my cheek, and then sucked tenderly at my earlobe while I ran my hands across his smooth boyish chest. And he whispered, "Can I see you?"
"Yeah..." Was all I could muster, and he unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. Now it was my turn to lean back as I felt his dainty fingers explore my flesh and squeeze the spongy sheath of my stiff member. He stroked it a couple of times for me, making me gasp and push my hips up into his soft hand. And then, without warning...he let go and pulled the comforter up over his head. He looked around for a quick second to double check for my mom, and then lowered himself down until his face was in my lap. I had never experienced anything sexual before in my life...and this motion really kinda startled me. But as pure as Seth was, he knew what he wanted, and with his head hidden under the covers, he was in total control. I felt his hand stroke me a few more times, and his head rested on my soft stomach. He was looking at it, I could feel his warm breath in my wisps of pubic hair. And when his hand dropped slightly lower to cup my balls and feel me down there, I closed my eyes and sighed outloud. Omigod.....please don't make me wait, Seth. Please? I had to pat around the comforter a bit before I could find his head under the cover, and the second I found it, his tongue reached out and licked the side of my shaft. My legs jerked from the contact, and I gasped again. Seth's hand rubbed up and down on the inside of my thigh, and he licked me again. The texture of his tastebuds driving me wild with their liquid friction. Then, he raised up, just a little bit, and began to lick the head. OHHHHH MAN!!! I let out a little involuntary whimper of my own, and had to hold my breath to keep from being too loud! And then, after a second long pause............
.....I felt Seth's sweet young mouth swallow me down.
Omigod, I could have sworn that the whole WORLD tilted when he did that! My head shot back, and my eyes popped open, looking directly at the ceiling. My stomach tightened up and my legs tensed, my knees got weak and my arms went limp. I felt his warm wet mouth sliding further and further down my inches until he had about three quarters of my entire length resting alongside his hot quivering tongue. His long brown hair hung down to place phantom licks across my thighs as his head began to move. I felt as though I was going to slide right off of the floor and off the edge of the planet if I didn't hold onto that couch with BOTH hands! JESUS!!!! I NEVER knew this would feel this good! Never in a million years! And although I couldn't see his face, I pictured his tender lips stretched around my meat and had to fight to keep from letting go right then and there.
Seth held it in his mouth for a minute, just sucking at it and tasting me while his tongue slid in small circles around the length of it. Then, with a sensual vaccuum that made my eyes roll back, I felt him slide all the way up to the tip until the head popped out of his watery mouth. That rise, from the base of my shaft to the top, was like a freefall from a tall building for me. I couldn't keep my legs still at all, and kept spasming uncontrollably. He stroked me a couple of times, and I heard him whisper from under the blanket. "Is your mom still asleep?" He was so CUTE when he asked, and I sorta gave a quick glance over the back of the couch to check. No signs of another interruption there.
I breathlessly answered, "Yeah...she's still asleep."
"Ok..." He whispered. And then, a moment later, I felt the warm wet sensation of his mouth surrounding me again. DAMN that felt good! His hand massaged my balls a little bit, and he began a slow bobbing on me while I struggled to keep quiet. I was gasping for air at this point, and even though his teeth knicked me here and there, it felt way too good to tell him to stop. I slid further down on the floor, my back slumping until just my head was resting on the couch cushions. And as my member almost slipped out of Seth's mouth, he repositioned himself to get a better grip on it and suck harder. His strands of hair began to tickle and tantalize the insides of my thighs, and it added a whole new dimension to the pleasure I was feeling at that moment. I moaned outloud and covered my mouth with both hands. But as I let go of the couch, I was captured by that feeling of slipping right off into oblivion again. So I did the only thing I COULD do with my hands! I reached down and found his head, pushing it further down on me. Seth sucked hungrily at me, and I couldn't take much more of this! Shit...I was getting ready to blow. I could feel it building up in my TOES!
I wanted to hold off. I wanted this to last for much much longer. But it was too much. And when I heard Seth moan with the cutest little boy whine I've ever heard...I lost all control. He was enjoying this as much as I was, if not more. I felt the seed traveling down the channel, and began to tighten up. With short pants and gasps, I attempted to put my hand on Seth's back and warn him to pull off. I reached underneath the comforter, and found the silky strands of his hair, entangling it in my fingertips. "Uhhhh....uhhh.....Seth....dude...Seth....I think I'm...I'm gonna..." He didn't stop. He wouldn't. And I was too weak to stop him. He wrapped both of his arms around just one of my thighs, and held on tight as he sucked for everything he was worth. I was paralyzed. COMPLETELY unable to move! And when the rush hit me, I nearly screamed out at full volume from the passion that overcame me! My legs twitched, my ass flexed, my stomach folded, my eyes squinted shut, and my breathing stopped. The earth shattering climax exploded out of me, the eruption flowing right into my babydoll's sucking mouth. I couldn't keep still, and slipped the rest of the way down onto my back on the floor. But the further my inches got from Seth's mouth, the more eager he was to chase it and get his mouth back over it before he missed a single shot. He refused to let me go until he was through devouring everything I had to offer. By the time I was finished throbing and pumping my thick fluids in his mouth....I was drained dry, and nearly ready to pass out.
The next few minutes were a blur. My only sense that still functioned properly was my sense of touch, and it had been heightened to an extreme that threatened to set me off again if Seth dared to touch the right spot. I felt him slowly crawling his way up my side, his head emerging from the covers at last, his face a deep shade of red, his hair looking chaotic and lopsided from his actions. And I giggled happily as I saw him smack his lips and wrinkle his brow as though he had just taken a dose of bad cough medicine. 'Unexpectedly cute' as always.
"Hahahaha! Not what you thought it would taste like, huh?" I sighed.
"It's ok, I guess." He said, still trying to get the taste off of his tongue. He was trying to make it look like he liked it, but his face gave him away. It was so damn adorable that I swiftly pulled him to me and kissed him again. He may not have known it, but this 8th grader has just fulfilled every fantasy I've ever had about sex. And I was falling for him hard.
That night, we made love at least three more times. And started a fourth the next morning, but was interrupted by my mom again, so we had to stop. If you've never woken up to a slow wet blowjob from an eagerly sexual 13 year old boy....there's nothing like it in the world. Nothing at all. By the time he had put his shoes on and left the house the next morning, we had kissed a permanent blush into our lips. All that sweetness, that innocence, that awesome energy that Seth had possessed ever since the first day I saw him from across the street on the way home from the park...had washed over me in one magical night. And he took every opportunity he could to tell me how much he loved it and how he couldn't wait to do it again. And again. And AGAIN! Hehehe, I think I've found myself a fan. More importantly...I've found myself a 'match'. And he was more beautiful than I ever could have hoped for.
I didn't have to tell Johnny. He already knew. He could see it in my face. And instantly adopted Seth into the 'family'. Changing Johnny and me from the Dynamic Duo to the Three Musketeers. My mom....? I'll tell her later. Right now, I kinda like having Seth over to the house for some 'fun' without her being suspicious or laying down 'house rules' in the sex department. Hehehe, parents and sex just don't mix sometimes.
He was mine. And I was his. He had me in his pocket from day one, and I'm sure he knew it. Even though he pretends not to. For once, I can say I got everything I wanted for Christmas this year. And for many more Christmases to come. Santa...I owe you one.