Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2010 07:15:28 +0000 From: Tommy Evans Subject: Uriel and Jon:Growing up Chapter 9 Adrian and I sat on my back patio for a while. We just looked at the sky. Neither of us was saying anything, he probably knew that at the moment I was just thinking about what had just happened and how things would change. Since it was dark outside I took the chance and grabbed his hand. I looked at him. He smiled. "Aaron, I know you're worried about him. But he made the decision right. Now you can either try to snap him out of it or let it go" "Yeah but I don't know what the best decision is" "It's whatever you choose Aaron" "Adrian I just don't know what to do. I never planned for this, ever. Drugs and him never crossed my mind" "I know Aaron. You're always looking for the best of people. But some people are going to mess up" "It's just, so tough for me, he's like my brother. He used to be at least" "No, don't say that. Because he's still your brother deep inside. That feeling is going to stick around for a while" "It's been sticking around for enough time" I said. "Do you really truly believe that this is going to end the friendship?" "I think Bubbles" I said. I remembered that was his nickname. "Ah, don't call me that it embarrasses me" he complained. Since we were holding hands it was really relaxing right now. Even though I was having a hard time dealing with the jon thing, Adrian's hand was sending positive vibes through my body and calming me down. I began to lie down on the ground and Adrian did the same. We continued holding hands, on the ground, looking at the sky. "The sky is so cool Aaron" "Yeah, when I need to really chill out I always look at the sky" "Yeah? How come?" "I just don't know. It calms me down. It reminds me that even though things could be going wrong, there's a lot more to life you know. Life doesn't end just because one little thing doesn't make sense or doesn't work out" "Yeah, you see. You just said the answer to your problem Aaron. Just let it go man. Focus on the vacation. So what if he's there. We can still make the best of it can't we?" he asked. "Yeah you're right. So right" I answered. Just as we were calming down, we heard some footsteps. I figured it would be my mom or even Sylvia coming to check on us. "Aaron" I heard Jon's voice. Shit. I don't want to talk to him now. I didn't look up. I heard Adrian sit up though. "What do you want?" Adrian asked angrily. "I need to talk to Aaron" Jon said. "I don't think he wants to talk to you. Just go home." Adrian said. "What the fuck do you know. Aaron come on talk to me" "Adrian, go inside please. Set the bed up" I told him as I tapped his forehead. "Okay, be careful" he said as he got up and headed inside. "What?" I turned and looked at Jon. "Don't tell my parents please" "Okay." I said very dry and simple. "that's it? Nothing else?" he asked surprised. "NO. that's it. I wont tell" I answered. "Uh...your not mad?" "I'm beyond mad. So mad that I don't even care" I told him. "O, okay, well...uh... sorry?" he said confused. "Yeah I'm used to that word coming out of your mouth" "No dude, I mean it. I don't know what I was thinking" "You weren't. but it doesn't matter. Your going to keep going back to it" "How do you know what the fuck man. I'm trying to say sorry" "And I'm trying to walk away" I said as I got up. "What the fuck Aaron. Just cuz you got Adrian isn't it?" he asked. "No, that's not the reason. But you know what, it really helps" "Well whatever. You know he wont ever be as good as me" "Well the thing is I don't know who you were. You could have been pretending and lying the whole time" "Whatever aaron. You know what, I tried to be your friend again. Just fucking go with Adrian. Fuck him I know your going to. Just go do it" Jon said angrily. "No, I'm going to hang with my friend. And relax." "Well if that's what you call it now. Fuck you. Bye" he said as he ran off to his house. I was in awe. Jon, was turning into a monster. I didn't even want to imagine what he would be like in a year or two. I just didn't understand how such a sweet kid could turn out to be like that. How did he change so much in just a few months? I couldn't believe it. I wanted to help him. I really did. But I just couldn't think of any way to get to him. How do I know he's not just going to lie and keep doing bad things behind my back. I don't want that. I shrugged it off. I had to be strong. I couldn't let him ruin everything I mean, he'd been gone from my life for a few months now, him coming back randomly and doing this was not going to change things. I'm just going to pretend we never started talking again and when we get to Florida, well I'll just wing it. Yeah that's what ill do. I headed inside. I headed to my room when I didn't see anyone. I found Adrian sitting on the couch playing some video games. When he saw me walk in he got up and walked to me. Then he gave me a hug. "What happened?" he asked. "We argued more. He tried saying sorry, but it turned into an argument" I said. "Did you start the argument or did he?" "I sort of did. But he exploded right away" "Aaron you guys will never figure things out if you both keep exploding on each other!" he said as he gave me a slight push. "O your going to hit me now?" I challenged him. "Yeah! As much as I hate Jon. I don't want you to lose a friend. Specially to drugs. Come on be smarter" he said as he pushed me again. He kept pushing me. I kept walking back until I felt my legs against my bed. "What? Really. You think I'm stupid?" I asked. "Yeah you can be" he said as he pushed me again. I noticed I was going to fall back so I held onto him. The two of us fell on the bed, him on top of me. I held onto him. Since he fell on top me, we were face to face, nose to nose, eye to eye. We looked at each other. Frozen. Neither of us said a word. Then I went for it. I kissed him. I was hurt. I needed to feel better. Adrian was good at making me feel great. I was done trying to put a barrier between us. I kissed him like I used to kiss someone else. I wanted him to feel great. We kissed for a few minutes, I massaged his back and his bubbly ass while we kissed. He'd get so carried away kissing me that he would pull back sometimes and breathed deeply then started kissing me again. The kisses felt different than the one we had before. These felt very passionate, I felt that he was eager. He wanted to be loved. He needed. I wasn't to keep denying this amazing boy of the attention he deserves. I didn't want to keep going, not now because my parents could walk in anytime. I stopped kissing him. He smiled at me. Then I moved him to my side. "that was freaking amazing!" he told me. "Yeah, it was. Thanks" I said. "NO Aaron. Thank you. I've never done anything like that. My stomach feels funny. I feel butterflies" he said smiling. "Woah, really? Its that bad?" I asked. "Yeah, I think I'm in love" he laughed. "Don't mess with that word dude. Not until you mean it" I said. "Aaron, sometimes you just know its right" "Yeah, well I've been wrong before. So I try to be careful" "Don't doubt me please. Aaron I'm not like anyone else. I wont let you down" "I know baby. But I just have a hard time trusting. I hope you can understand" I said. "I do. I mean after what Jon did I can see that you've been through a lot" "That's why you're my favorite. You're so smart for a 14 year old" I said as I turned to him and gave him a small kiss. It was ever so soft, gentle, sweet, just amazing. "Aaron, you're amazing" he said as he looked at me in my eyes. I saw those beautiful hazel brown eyes. "Adrian, I can't believe how lucky I am." I said. "Why? I'm not that special?" "O you are. You VERY special man. You make me smile during the harshest of times. That deserves a lot of thanking. So I'm going to thank you by always being with you" I said. "That's all I ask. I love being with you" he sad. "Great because I don't know if you've noticed, but I love being with you" "Yeah. Aaron can I ask you something?" "Yeah, anything bro anything" "Umm...are we going to have sex?" "I don't know. I mean if you want to we can. But we have to prepare and you have to be sure that's what you want" "I want to. Like right now" he smiled. "I can't right now. We have lots to do. We have to pack" I told him. "I know I know. But can we at least try something else later on today?" "Yeah buddy what do you want to try?" I asked. "I'll tell you later. Your right though we have to finish packing what we left here" he told me. We went to find our luggage and it didn't really take us a long time to finish packing what we needed because he had already packed most of the things he needed and we've been working on it for a few days now. I looked at the time and it was only a little past midnight. Then out of nowhere my mom opened the door to my room. "Hey guys. What are you up to?" she asked. "We just finished packing everything we needed" I answered. "Great, I finished earlier today too. You guys going to stay up all night?" she asked. "No, I don't think so. It's been quite a day for us today" I said. "Okay well Aaron do you mind watching over Jon and his brothers?" she asked. "Again?" "Yeah, we want to start the trip off so we want to go dancing" she told me excited. "It's midnight mother. You're not in your 20s anymore!" I told her. "Hey, watch your mouth kid. I still pay your bills" she gave me a stern look. "OK geez! No I don't mind" I said. I looked over at Adrian who looked partially worried. "Great I knew you wouldn't you guys behave now. They should be over in like 5 minutes" she told me as she left the room. "Great, another problem night" Adrian complained. "Hey, we're going to be dealing with him for the next few days. don't get me wrong. After what he did today, I don't want to see him. But I'm pretty sure he will stay out of our way" I assured Adrian. "What makes you so sure. What if he takes this opportunity to sneak out again and go smoke some dope" "Well then, that's his choice. I can't stop him as much as I want to" I said. "True. Well...ummm...I hope its not too weird you know" "I doubt it, he's probably going to keep to himself in a separate room of the house" I told him Just as I finished saying that we heard laughter in the back yard, I figured it was the kids. We looked outside the window and sure enough it was Max and Kevin. Jon was walking a little behind them, he still seemed thoughtful, and a little worried at the same time. We headed downstairs to the basement because I figured that's where we would end up tonight anyway. Adrian sat on the couch and turned the Tv on. I sat next to him and put my arm around him. After a few seconds we heard the foot steps and voices. Then the little steps took over and we heard running down the stairs. When they saw us they immediately jumped on the couch with us and smiled at us. "what you guys doing" Max asked. "just relaxing and you buddy?" I answered. "nothing. We were playing games when my mom told us we were spending the night at your house" he said very enthusiastically. "Well, that should be fun. You guys can play whatever you want. I am a little tired from doing things so we're going to lay down" I said. "Are you guys excited?" he asked. "Of course we are." Adrian answered him. "have you ever been there?" Max asked Adrian. "no, not really. Is it really nice?" Adrian answered with a question. "Yeah dude. Specially Aaron's house over there. Its huge" "How do you know this shorty. You haven't been there yet" I said. Jon and his other brother were just sitting down by the other couch having a conversation of their own. I was still boiling inside. I couldn't forget what he had done. "I know because Jon told me" Max said as he jumped and sat next to me. "Are you going to play then?" I asked. "No, if you guys are going to sleep I will too" Max said happily. "Well, we're not technically going to sleep, just going to lie down" I told him. "Yeah I'll lie down with you guys because my brothers don't really want me over on their side" he said as he looked over at Jon a little scared. "That's fine little man" Adrian said as we started making a bed on the floor with the covers my mom left out for us. "Hey, is it cool if we play?" Kevin asked. Jon just sat back and avoided my eyes. "Yeah you two play whatever" I answered. I couldn't really stand being close to Jon. I wanted to get up, walk over there, shake the crap out of him and then smack him a bit for doing what he was doing. I wanted him to snap out of this stupid stage he was going through. But I couldn't. I had to let him make his own stupid mistakes, I had done enough for him. If he looks for me, or talks to me, I will gladly help him. Other wise, he was on his own. I heard the game system start up, I looked over at them and Jon was looking over at me, as soon as he saw me turn to look at him he turned away. I lied back down next to Adrian. Then max jumped over me and I was put in the middle now. "Really max? put me in the middle?" I asked. "Yeah, why not. You're the big one so you can protect the both of us" Adrian smiled. "From what?" Max asked. "The monster?" said Adrian with a confused tone. "Yeah the monsters. Aaron will fight the monster off. The Jonmonster" Max joked. If he only knew how much that comment made sense to me at the moment. "Well Max, you need to get some sleep. Little boys like you need lots of sleep" Adrian said. "But I'm not tired. And I'm too excited about the trip" Max complained. "This is true. I'm pretty excited myself. What should we do there first?" Adrian asked me. "I don't know, hopefully we can at least relax a bit before we get all crazy and go everywhere" I said. I hated when we went on vacation and were too busy being busy that we didn't enjoy it. "Aaron, can I ask you something?" Max said. "Sure max. whats up little man?" "How come you don't talk to my brother a lot anymore?" he asked. "Why are you asking me this. He's right there." I answered. "I don't know. Is it because he's a mean ghetto boy?" Max asked. "You nailed it right on" Adrian chuckled. "Yeah, you think so Adrian?" Max asked. I looked over at Jon and he was glaring at Adrian with eyes full of hatred. It was so bad that I could feel the tension in the room building. "Shut up Adrian. You're not that cool yourself" Jon barked. "Fuck you druggie" Adrian shouted back. Jon jumped up. Adrian stood up. "What are you going to do? Try to fight me?" Adrian asked. He was just a tad taller than Jon. I was kind of shocked to see this happen. I didn't think this would ever get to this point. Those two actually fighting was something I couldn't even handle. I stood up and grabbed Adrian. "Sit down Adrian. Calm down" I told him. He sat back down. Jon and I stood there, face to face. "Well nice that you stand up for him" he told me. "Go play the video games and leave us alone" I said angrily. "But he fucking started it" he yelled. "And I fucking ended it. So that's it!" I said as I turned around angrily. "Yeah as usual, stand up for the fucking loser" he said as he walked away. "Jon I'm not standing up for him, I just actually trust him and I know he wont fail me the way other people would." I said. "Well if your talking about me, good. Im glad I failed you. I don't want to or need to pass in your book" "You don't even make sense." Max joined. "Shut up short ass. You don know anything about this" Jon said angrily. "Dudes, just chill. Why fight before vacation. We're all going to be together, can't we get a long" Kevin asked. "No, we can't, because Adrian's a little bitch. A little pussy ass bitch" Jon said. "Your just mad because you're a fuck up and can't keep a friend" Adrian fired back. "You? Is he talking about you?" Max asked me. "Let's just relax." I patted both Max and Adrian on their bellies. Jon and Kevin went back to playing their games while the rest of us were in our little bed relaxing. It was quiet, the uncomfortable quiet. I wanted to say something but I wanted to let Adrian cool off before I started another conversation. I just knew that come tomorrow at this time we would be landing in Florida and we needed to calm down. "Aaron, I'm sorry I asked that question" Max whispered to me. "It's okay. Not your fault little guy" I said to him. "Yeah, its my fault Max. I shouldn't have said that" Adrian whispered. "Don't worry Adrian, my brother is meanie like that. I think your cooler than him too" Max assured Adrian. "thanks little dude, that means a lot me" Adrian said. "Okay well, let's try to get some sleep" I said. "With the TV noise going on and Kevin and Jon talking?" Max asked. "Yeah, just relax, block the noise out of your ears and you will be fine." I said. "Will do. Night aaron. Night Adrian" Max said. "night" Adrian and I said in unison. I knew I wouldn't be able to get sleep for a while. It was just way too weird. Jon was a few feet away from me, in my house, playing on my games. The incident was still fresh in my mind, then the almost fight between Jon and Adrian was also in my mind. I couldn't think of anything to make the situation better. I didn't want to talk to Jon anymore about the subject, but I also knew that I couldn't keep ignoring him. At some point we would have to interact and act as if we were friends. If not our parents would get involved and things could get uglier. I must have sat there, in the dark, in between Adrian and Max for a good 1 and half before Jon and Kevin finally turned off the game and decided to go to bed. I pretended to be asleep when I heard them move. "Dude, Aaron sounded really pissed at you" Kevin said. "fuck. I don't care" Jon answered. "Wow. Ok. You say that now. Watch in a few days you'll be trying to talk to Aaron all nice" Kevin replied. "He can't stay mad at me dude. Aaron never stays mad at me. No matter what I do. Lets just get some sleep ok." said Jon. "Where are we going to sleep?" "They left us 2 covers. Lets make a bed over here" "Jon, do you think its going to be weird in florida with aaron and Adrian being mad at you?" "I don't know. Who cares. We can do our own thing." "What about Max?" Kevin asked. "He can go with them. Who cares. He's annoying as fuck anyway" said Jon. "I don't think you should be talking like that dude. No wonder you're losing Aaron's trust" "O my god. Why do you keep fucking making Aaron such a big deal. He's not even that cool" "You used to say he was the coolest" "Used to damn. Not anymore. There's way cooler people" "If you say so Jon" Kevin said. They finished their bed and I heard them settle down. I was more pissed off at the way Jon talked about me. How dare he say all that shit. After all the things we have been through. I don't know if he was saying it in the heat of the moment, or if he actually meant what he said, but I was determined to not care anymore. I had been relying way too much on Jon and his feelings. Its about time I focus on me, and my feelings. I had a great friend who was willing to put his effort and time into me, why would I let that opportunity go for someone like Jon. I started to get tired. I closed my eyes and little by little drifted off to sleep. I felt Adrian moving and moving a lot and it woke me up. I looked at my cell phone. It was 4 in the morning. I had only been asleep for a few hours. I looked over at Adrian. I couldn't see anything since it was pitch dark, but something told me he was awake. "You awake?" I whispered. "Yeah, can't sleep" Adrian answered. "Whats wrong?" I asked. "I'm worried" "About what?" I asked. "I think I messed up when I pushed Jon like that. I shouldn't have done that. Now the trip is going to be weird and tense" "Don't worry about it bro. really, it happened. There's not much we can do about it. Besides man, you and me together for a week is something more like a dream. Imagine being all day together, from morning til night." I said. "Yeah you're right." he said. I felt him turn to face me. I turned completely so I could face him. Once I felt his breath on my face, he kissed me out of nowhere. His tongue instantly went inside my mouth. He started probing my inside and then started to play with my lips. "you have sweet lips" he said. "thanks" I said as I sucked on his little lips. I started to massage his side and then started playing with his ass a little bit. "I can't believe you let me do this" I said. "You can do whatever. I'm all yours" he whispered. "every part of you?" I asked. "Yeah, every part. Every piece of hair and everything else" "Woah every piece of hair. that's a little crazy" I joked. "Yeah, even the little ones on my dick." "There's hair there?" I asked. "Well, there's like one little one I can see. But I'll get more" he said. "I wish I could see" I said. "You will eventually. You can do whatever you want with it" he smiled. I caught a little glance of his smile. Being dark it was hard to see. "really? Anything?" I asked. "Anything except biting or chopping it off" he joked. "o damn" I complained. "But sucking, licking, massaging, anything like that, that's all fair game" he said. "O okay, well at least I got a few options" I said. But then I felt his hand reach for my penis. "And your dick is all mine" he said as he grabbed a hold of it. He started playing with it and I felt him go for the opening of my pjs. "Hey, don't do anything crazy. There's lots of kids around us" I said. "But they are sleeping. And I'm only going to play with it" he said. "No, but then its going to lead to more and more, and next thing we know we get caught" I said. "Ok, fine, only because you have a point" he said as he pulled his hand back and tapped my groin area. "Good boy" I told him as I kissed him again. "Lets get some sleep now" he told me. "Night" I said. "Night." he replied. ************************************************************* In the morning I was awaked by tapping on my feet. I thought it was Adrian again. I just smiled and told him to stop quietly, but when I opened my eyes he was still asleep. I looked at my cell, it was 9am. I felt the tapping again. I looked to my side and max was asleep too, then I looked at my feet. It was Jon. I took a huge breath. "What do you want" I said quietly. "Can we talk?" he asked. "No. I'm sleeping" "Please" he said. "NO" I said boldly. "Please bro" "Don't call me that and let me sleep" "Fuck aaron. Please we need to talk" he said as he poked me again. I didn't answer him. I closed my eyes. He kept poking me. Then he stopped. I felt him move. Then out of nowhere I felt his hand on my crotch. "Stop!" I said a little louder. "I'm going to keep touching your balls until you talk to me" he said. "What the heck. Fine damn" I said angrily. I slowly got up, made sure Adrian was still asleep, which he was. Once I made sure he wouldn't wake up I followed Jon to the closet in the hallway. He shut the door and turned his cell phone light on and we sat on the floor. "What" I said half asleep. "Sorry" he said. "That's not going to cut it. I'm done talking to you" I said as I tried getting up. "No please. Listen. Come on man. We're going on vacation together. Just listen" he said as he held onto me. "what" I said. "I'm not going to talk to those dudes again. I'm going to stop doing that stuff. I'm little. I shouldn't do that. I just don't want to lose you" "Jon...I'm tired of your lies. If you want to stop talking to them and stop doing those things, great. But you already lost my trust" "I'm never going to get it back?" "I don't think you want it back." "I do man. I miss you" he said. "I've only been gone for a night. You can't miss me already" "I just don't like knowing that you and Adrian are all fucking close. It pisses me off. I'm way cooler than him" "You were dropped from the cool chart." I told him. "Wow. So you fucking Adrian huh?" he asked. "No, I'm not. I'm not a slut" I said. "Yeah you are. Well I don't care. I'm fucking other dudes too" he said angrily. "Great, go catch some STD" "Whats that?" he asked. "A sexual transmitted decease. Just use condoms" I said. "You don't care?" "I care. It worries me, but nothing I say will stop you so what does it matter" "You could forgive me and stop talking to Adrian" "Even if some day I decide to forgive you, I won't ever stop talking to Adrian" "Why?" "He's my bro" "I'm your bro" "No, bro's don't hide shit from each other" "I should say the same to you" he said. "I didn't hide the things you hide" "Having sex with oscar isn't hiding anything from me?" "okay so maybe I hid that. But not stuff like drugs and the stuff you've done" "Doesn't matter. You didn't tell me that. I'm sure you fucked Uriel too" "Well, I did. But I was planning on telling you" "Yeah, I figured. So see. You lied to me too." "Jon, it's not the same. You crossed the line" "Its just weed Aaron. Its not bad" "Whatever Jon. Fuck your life up however you want. 11 year old smoking weed, having random sex, you're going to end up in jail or something" I said. "Whatever, like you even fucking care" he said. "Are you done talking?" I asked. "No. I'm not. Please bro, don't leave" "Don't say that man. Really. You go from swearing at me to calling me bro, that's not even right" "Listen, can we at least not fight anymore?" "I wasn't planning on it. I was planning on avoiding you" "Well I don't want my mom asking questions" he said. "Don't worry. I'll pretend we're at least talking. I don't want my mom asking either" I said. "Are you doing to tell on me?" he asked. "Just don't get in between me and Adrian" I said. "Or else?" he asked. "You know what" I said. "You threatening me?" he asked. "No, just don't do it." "Okay, deal." he said. I got up and opened the door. "I'm sorry" he said again. "Yeah, me too" I said as I walked away from him. The way our conversations always seemed to end bad now a days was a sign that maybe we shouldn't even try to fix things. I couldn't deal with him. He was changing too fast. He was talking like a 15 year old. A 15 year old out of control. At the rate he is going, he's going to have a collapsed lung and maybe a few std's by the time he's even 18. I headed back to the bed with Adrian and Max and Jon headed to his bed. We both looked at each other before lying back down. that's when I realized that the Jon I knew, was gone. In his place was a monster. A lying, back stabbing, selfish, manipulative monster. I was done with that monster. Never did I think that only 1 year after knowing him, he was going to be like this. I just couldn't believe a sweet, angelic boy would or even could do something like this. I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep. But I couldn't stop thinking. I tossed and turned, turned and tossed until finally Adrian woke up. "Whats the matter?" he asked. "I can't sleep anymore" I told him. "What time is it?" "I don't know. Maybe like 10" I said "Early. We could still sleep a little more" he told me. "But I don't want to" I said. "You excited about later on or something?" he asked. "No, well part of me is. But something else" I said. "The Jon incident still bugging you?" he asked. I knew Jon was still awake, listening. I knew I had to be careful about what I said. But then I also wanted Jon to hear what a different person Adrian was. "Yeah, I care about him" I said. "I know you do. I don't blame you. He probably was a good kid when you knew him better" "Yeah he was" I said. Only a good person like Adrian would say that. "But he's changed now. You can either suck it up and help him out of it, or just let it go and let him drown in his own shit" Adrian said. "Yeah, well I'm going to go with the second option" I told him. "So then let it go. You have me. And look, you have Max. he seems to want to be closer to you too" he told me. "Max is a little kid. He's only with us because Jon pushes him out" I said. "Yeah, but he seems like a nice kid. You could also take him under your wing. Then me and him can keep you busy and make you forget about Jon" "Maybe. I don't know" I said. But I knew Jon had heard Adrian's comments. I wanted him to see that Adrian was so much better. "Okay, so what do we do?" he asked. "umm...relax?" "Sure, lets cuddle" he said happily. "ha. What a fag" I joked. "Yeah, that did sound a little gay" he laughed. "But whatever. it's a little chilly down here anyway" I said as I hugged him. Just when I was hugging Adrian, Jon sat up and looked over at us. I stopped and he walked to the bathroom. "Um...do you think he saw us?" Adrian asked. "I don't know. I hope not." I said. "I hope he did. Ha. So he can get jealous" Adrian laughed. "No, jealousy means he cares. I'm sure he doesn't care" I said. "Umm...he does. Im sure. Inside he does care" Adrian tried convincing me. When he came back he looked at us. "Don't mind me. Keep cuddling. I wont tell" he said. "umm...okay?" Adrian said. "I'm just saying" Jon told him as he lied back down. "Okay then, thanks for your comment" Adrian said. "Any time faggots" Jon answered. "I'm not even going to argue with you prick." Adrian answered. "Just ignore the kid." I said as I hugged Adrian and closed my eyes. We laid under the blankets for a while, neither of us talked, it was my relaxation time. I tried to clear my head, but it was proving to be a very complicated thing. I was starting to worry a lot more about this trip. The tension could be a little too much for me. I don't know how much I would be able to handle before I completely go mad or have a heart attack from all the stress. Time passed by, eventually I head Max move. "you guys awake?" he asked. "Yeah, just resting" I answered. "O okay, I can't sleep anymore. I keep thinking about getting to florida" max said excited. "I'm sure you are. You little monkey" I answered. "Thanks! That's a good thing" max smiled. I loved how life was so simple to a kid of that age. All they cared about was games, fun, food and sleep. What a great way to live if only I could be like that still, I'd be in much better mental shape. "Well lets go ahead and get up. Lets start getting ready and finish doing whatever we need so that when its time to get going we can do it faster" Adrian suggested. "yeah, I'll help you guys pick up the blankets" Max said as he jumped up and instantly pulled the blankets. He did it so fast that we didn't have time to stop hugging each other. Since we were cuddling real close, Adrian and I were so close it was hard to see the separation of our bodies. "hahaha you guys are hugging" Max joked pointing at us like little kids do. "it was a cold night Max. you kind of hugged Aaron too" Adrian said. "yeah but you guys are like so close. Like my parents sleep" Max said. "Haha. Kids are funny. Well don't worry about it. Its just how we sleep" Adrian said. "ok cool. Lets hurry" said max. I knew he was too young to even care about the matter, but if Jon was still awake, I'm sure he had his thoughts about the subject. While Max and Adrian helped me get the blankets rolled up and clean up our bed on the floor, I kept thinking about how this used to be something I did with Uriel and Jon. I couldn't believe a year had passed by, and just like that, all the things I wanted to keep, came to an end. I can't completely say things went bad because now I have Adrian, who is amazing, but I can't deny the fact that no matter how mad I am, I miss Jon a lot. When we finished, we headed upstairs for break fast. I felt sort of like a jack ass for not even inviting Jon and Kevin up, so I headed back downstairs. I couldn't be complete ass. that's when I realized the break up with jon, is going to prove itself really tricky in the next couple of days. No matter how much I didn't want to be in tough situations, I was going to probably deal with a lot of them for the next. I have to face it, Jon was going to be in my life for next week, whether I like it or not. "You guys want to eat breakfast?" I asked. "No thanks" Kevin answered. "Okay then" I answered. I went back upstairs. "Did they want to join us?" Max asked. "No, at least Kevin didn't and he's the only one who answered me" I said. "O Okay then. Cereal?" Adrian asked. "Yeah, that's the stuff" I answered. "The best. I couldn't live without cereal, it's the best" Adrian said. "Yeah, sometimes I eat it 3 times a day instead of just at night and in the morning" said Max. "So like you eat it during the day or something?" Adrian asked. "Yeah like at 3." Max answered. "That's like almost dinner time for me" Adrian answered. I sat down, with my bowl of cereal and just watched them. It was really hard to focus at the moment because my head was just not in the right place. But watching those two interact made me realize something. Max looked a lot like Jon, just a few differences, but the differences were good ones. Adrian, well he was just all over cute. Being around Max would probably fill the need to physically see Jon since Max looks like him. Being with Adrian would take care of the emotional and sexual need to be with Jon. But then I realized I was comparing them to Jon, so in the end I wasn't forgetting Jon, just merely replacing him with look a likes to fill gap. What I really needed was to forget the feelings and the urges to be with Jon. that's the only way around the problem. Now, all I had to do was be patient. "Aaron, you're spacing out" said Adrian interrupting my deep thoughts. "O sorry, I was just thinking about stuff" I answered. "Thinking about what we're going to do later?" Max asked. "No, I guess you could say I was thinking about what I'm going to do later later, after the trip" I answered. "Oh, I see. I think I know where this is going." said Adrian. "Well, can I ask exactly how your going to fix the problem you have at the moment" "Sure, you may ask. I just don't know if I have an answer" I replied. "Well then stop. Thinking about the same items over and over again really doesn't solve anything." Adrian told me. "I think..." I said. "Yeah? You also space out" Max said. "Ha, aaron you got burned" Adrian joked. "By a 8 year old" Max blurted out. "I feel so burned, call the fire men" I laughed. "So what time do we leave?" Adrian asked. "I believe we leave at 6. It takes forever to get on the plane" I said. "Yeah, I'm worried. I haven't been in one in a long time" Adrian said. "How long?" I asked. "A few years, like 6" he said. "Um...well your 14, so like when you were 8?" I asked. "My age?" Max interrupted. "Yeah, your age. I was little" Adrian said tapping Max's head. "That's a long time ago. Well its not bad dude. Its very relaxing" I said. "Unless we hit tubulence" Max said. Arian and I busted out laughing. "I believe you mean turbulence" I corrected him. "Yeah that" Max said laughing. "Well, if you get scared you can hold Max's hand. Max will protect you" "NO I wont. I'll be holding onto my mommy's hand" Max said as he used his little puppy look. "Don't even try that little innocent boy look max. I'm sure you're a bad boy" I told him. I heard my mom walking into the kitchen. "Morning guys. Where's the other two?" she asked. "Still asleep" I answered. "Partied hard last night?" she asked. "I should be asking you that question ma" "Shut it sir. I'm the mom" "I'm the worried kid" "O yeah so worried. I bet you guys stayed up all night playing video games" "To your surprise we didn't. did we guys?" I asked. "No mam, we went to bed pretty early." Adrian said. "How come?" she asked. "We wanted today to come faster." Max said. "Well, it's almost time." she said as she looked at her watch. "Like in a few hours yeah. Mom were not going to have time to go to the parks today are we?" I asked. "No, we'll be landing at night. We'll have time to go to the house and have a cook out and that's about it. You'll be swimming I'm guessing" she said. "I guess I can live with that" I said. I started to pick up the plates and she stopped me. "No, you guys go upstairs and get ready. I think your mom's home now Max. you should go check in make sure everything's ready to go" "Thanks mam. I will." Max said jumping out of his chair. "I'll see you guys later" he said as he headed out the back door. "So the other two are still sleeping? Why don't you go wake them up so they can go get ready at home" my mom told me. "Okay I will." I said kind of unsure about it. "I'll wait for you" Adrian said as he smiled. I headed downstairs and I found Jon sitting on the couch. Kevin was cleaning up the covers and complaining about how Jon didn't help. "Your parents are home and my mom says to head over to your house to get ready for the trip" I said. "Yeah Kev, go" Jon told him. "What about you?" Kevin asked. "I'll go later" Jon answered him. Kevin took off and headed up the stairs. Jon sat up. "Don't walk away" he said. "I need to go" I said. "No you don't. I don't want to be fighting ok." he said. "I know. But I want to keep up my defense just in case" "Dude come on. don't be like that. The aaron I knew was not like this" "The jon I know is not like you are now" "SO, that's it, we're going to keep fighting?" Jon asked. "No dude, I'm just going to give you some distance. that's it" I said. "Why? To be with Adrian?" "For you to find yourself" "And to be with Adrian?" he asked again. "Yeah, jon. To be with Adrian" I finally answered. "I knew it." "Well then why ask?" "I wanted to be sure" "Okay, well now your sure" "He's not taking my spot" Jon said. "Jon, that spot was left vacant" "No...why?" "You left that spot a while ago" "wow Aaron. Why you got to be so fucking dramatic. I'm still Jon" "No, you're a monster dude" "Why? Cuz I do things normal people do?" "The things you do aren't normal Jon. But I don't want to talk about this. No matter what I say, your going to think your right and im wrong." I said as I turned away. "So then walk away, your so good at it now" "where did you learn that?" I asked. "Don't matter. Its true" "You walked away from me. And I know im the older one, and I should act better. But Jon, dude, your on the path to fuck up. I can't be there to watch you do it" "You can't be there or wont be there?" "I wont be there. I expected more I guess" "Yeah, you did. Too much" he said in a as a matter of fact tone. "Well shame on me then huh?" "Aaron fine, I get it. Shit. I'm not going to sit here and fucking beg. If you don't want to be friends then fine. Fuck it" "Okay, then." I said as I finally walked away. He followed me though. "But, don't forget to pretend to be ok. I don't want problems with our parents" "Ok I wont" I said. "good" he said. When we got up to the kitchen he headed towards the back door. "You excited jon?" my mom asked. "Yeah a lot" he answered. "Well, I'll see you guys later. Are you all packed?" she asked. "Yeah, all packed. Just going to shower and change" he answered. "Okay well, see you then" mom said. "See you" he answered. He walked to me and pounded my fist. I guess this was him pretending. "See you" I said. I walked back to my chair. Adrian looked at me confused. We kept eating our breakfast until my mom walked upstairs again. "You guys not fighting?" he asked. "Why do you ask?" I asked. "Well... the whole...see you thing" "O no, that was us pretending" I answered. "Guess your good at it cuz I fell for it" Adrian said relieved. "ha, well that's good then" I said smiling at him. I looked into his eyes. Boy was he gorgeous. Even after fighting with Jon, and feeling down, looking at Adrian did make me feel better. I had in a way lost Jon. Maybe not forever, and maybe not for good, but I feel as if for right now I lost him. Either way, I had Adrian. He was more than enough to keep me busy and happy. I just had to finally fix my emotion problem. If anything, I have to learn from the Uriel and Jon experience. I can't always be toying with two feelings at once. Its just not easy. Now, sitting back, I wished uriel and I stayed connected more. But truthfully, its very hard. Once those emotions move away, and that constant connection is not kept, the friendship slowly drifts away. Not saying that if I saw him one day I wouldn't sit down and talk, because we surely will. But I can't say everything is fine with him. This time last year he was the one coming to Florida with me. Now, its Adrian. O how life was weird. So weird. "Aaron, your spacing" Adrian reminded me. "O yeah, I got lost in those beautiful brown eyes of yours" I said. "Shh...your mom could hear" he said as he put his finger on my mouth. "O yeah, I forgot" I said surprised. "Yeah, ha. Don't want her to freak out now, a few hours before take off now do you?" he asked. "no you got a great point" I answered. "Well, now that we're done eating, what are we going to do?" he asked. "Well we have to get ready. Shower and change and just get emotionally ready" I said. "ha, I'm not that weird. I don't think I need to get emotionally ready" he said laughing. "well I mean, aren't you excited. Like its too good to be true?" I asked. "no dude. Being with you is too good to be true. So, nothing else seems impossible" he said with that little smile of his. "That was...fruity" I joked. "gosh, you just killed the moment" he laughed. We got up and put our plates in the sink. Then he followed me to my room. I found my mom cleaning up a bit. "Why are you cleaning?" I asked. "No just touching up. So it doesn't stay messy while we're gone" she said. "O okay. I guess" I answered. "are you guys going to shower and get ready?" she asked. "yeah, but I mean we do have a lot of time" I said. "Just a few hours. We leave at 5. You now how we got be there early" she said. "Yeah, and its like what...11 if anything" I said. "Well yeah, you guys can relax for a bit then" she told me. "We will ma" I said. She finished up and then walked away. I sat on the couch with Adrian. He put his body on mine and I hugged him. I held onto him like a prize. Sometimes I do feel like he's my hard earned prize. I mean after everything I had put myself through, having Adrian to hold onto did feel quite amazing. "Aaron, are we boyfriends?" he asked. "Something like that" I answered. "But in a non fruity way?" he asked. "Ha, if that's possible yeah" "It is, we can make it possible" "Anything is possible right?" I asked. "Yeah anything. Like magic" "Adrian you're my magic" "You're my magician" he smiled. "Stop being so freaking fruity" I laughed again. "Its just so hard I mean im not all that noticeable am I?" he asked. "No I mean no one would even notice, im just messing with you" I said. "Good. I don't want to be a complete fruit cake" "Just a half?" I asked. "Like a quarter" he answered. "that works for me. So that means we only kiss like a little bit a day?" I asked. "No, no no. I mean we can kiss whenever no one is watching" he answered right away. "Like right now?" "Yeah of course" he said as he move himself onto me. I was staring right into him. "Those eyes...I love them" I said. "Same here" he smiled. I kissed him. "Thanks" he smiled again. "Anytime. Really I mean it, anytime" I said as he lied on top of me. I held onto him. "I'm not going to say this will never change, because I said it before and I think I jinxed it" I said. "with who?" he asked intrigued. "Umm...how mad do you get?" I asked. "Not very. But you don't have to tell me dude. I mean, you're with me right now, that's all that matters. Anything else is not important. Its like unnecessary information" he said. "Adrian, your perfect" I said. "no, don't say that. No one is perfect, one can only hope to be 10% perfect at anything one does" he said with a smart tone. "Umm...and smart. What else could I ask for" I said. "Sexier?" "no. you're sexy too" I said as I grabbed his ass. I felt his little dick pressing against my stomach. "Can you feel that?" he asked. "Your little hard on?" I asked. "Yeah, can you?" he asked. "Huh, yeah a little." I smiled. "Yeah, I wish my dick was bigger." he said. "No baby, its perfect the way it is" "No, you can barely feel it" he complained. "That's because its pushed against. And no matter what, you are sexy. No matter how big or how small your thingy is" I told him as I kissed him again. "Thanks. But I want to be like you" "You are, you're better. Trust me. I know" "How and what makes you so sure?" he asked. "I know myself, I know you, and when I compare myself to you, trust me, I know. You're way better" I said. "Fine, if you say so. I believe you. Cuz you're my master" he laughed. "That sounds a little weird, kind of kinky though" I joked. "Well, I got to please my master" he laughed again. "I could stay like this forever" I said. "No, no we have a vacation to go" he said happily. "We do don't we" I said. "And we can't miss it because its probably the only vacation I can go on" "No, don't say that. You're my little boy now. You're going to get to go to lots of places with me" "Can you take me to bed and make me yours?" he asked. "NO, because you're already mine" I said. "No but really, can we have sex?" he asked. "Yeah, when the time is right man" "well, what will make it right?" he asked. "Umm...the moment will come. Trust me" "Well I just asked for it, so that means it's coming" he complained. "No, I mean. its going to happen. Like, we will both know when its right" "But its right now" he said. "No, YOU just want it to happen. Think about it. If we do it now we're going to be all tired and you might, might, be in pain for a few hours" I said. "Why?" he asked. "Well...see there's another thing. We don't even know how we're going to do it" I said. "Yeah we do. We're going to get naked, you'll put your dick in my ass, and make love to me" he said very simply. "O see that's where the pain might come in" I said. "SO I can take it. How much does it hurt?" he asked. "Umm depends. Sometimes a lot, sometimes not a lot. But sometimes, you can't even walk right for a few hours" "How many times have you done it?" he asked. "Umm...a lot. But...not with a lot of people. Just a few. And I really cared about them" I said. "Like how many?" he asked. "Umm...4? Maybe less" I said. "umm...that's not too bad. My friends are my age and some of them have done it with more than that" he said. "Like normal friends?" I asked. "O yeah, like girls and boys. I don't have any gay friends." "O got you. So whats the hurry with doing it?" I asked. "Theres not a hurry. I just really want to know what it feels like" he asked. At this point I realized how we were still in the same position. He had his head on my chest lying down. I had my hands on his ass and I was massaging that great behind of his. I couldn't really believe we were just lying down talking about sex and about other things tied to sex without him even moving or sounding completely confused. "Adrian, I just want to tell you something okay listen up" I said. "I always listen to you man" he said. "You're cute, you're smart, your amazing, your loving. I don't want to take that away from you. And I know from experience that when you take someone's virginity, you take a little bit of those things. I don't want to risk that" I said. "Take the risk. Trust me. I wont change" he said. "I will. In time, I will. You just relax and keep those hormones of yours under control. Trust me, when the time is right, we will make love like I've never done it before" I said. "You sure? What if I don't compare to all the others?" he asked. "you will...I'm sure you will. You're great man" I said. "Thanks, you are the BEST" he said as he kissed me this time. I loved those kisses. It wasn't anything crazy or over done. Just simple, meaningful kisses. Those were my favorites. "So what do we do?" he asked. "Umm...go take a shower then we can just relax like this" I answered. "Can we take it together, please?" he said in that little boy voice. The voice little kids make when they want to really get something. "That's too tempting man. Stuff could happen" I said. "No...no. just want to be with you" he said as he hugged me harder. "Fine fine. Let me lock the door" I said. He got off me slowly and I locked the door to my room. Just in case. I was pretty sure my mom wouldn't come here anyway since she was getting ready to go to the airport and what not, but just to be safe. So after that we headed to the closet and I grabbed clean boxers and an undershirt. He went to his backpack and grabbed the same thing. Once in the bathroom he gave me a hug. "I think you're the coolest" he said. "stop sucking up" I said as I closed the door. He smiled at me and started to take his shirt off. I just watched him. "You're so sexy" I said. "Thanks. Watch this" he said as he slowly took off his shorts along with his boxers. In front of me now was a naked Adrian. Beautiful. "Wow" I said. "your turn baby" he said. I took my shirt off and then he jumped and helped me take my shorts off. "there we go. Theres that nice dick" he said. "Hey, chill" I said. "Its so cool Aaron. I want to suck it" he said. "no, lets take a shower" I said. "okay okay geez!" he complained. He grabbed my hand and we walked to the shower. I couldn't take my eyes off his body though. It was all mine, for the taking, whenever I wanted it. All I had to do was say it. But that's what made me feel bad. After all I have done, I feel like I really have to make sure its what he wants. I don't want to ruin anything more than what I have ruined already. Even if I tried to describe his body, it would be impossible to describe the awesomeness of it. I mean, I loved Jon's body. But Adrian, he was something else. That ass of his was something out of a freaking movie, just perfect. A girl's ass stuck on a boy. It was great. So bubbly, so firm at the same time. And that little boy dick of his was great too. It was a little different from the others I've seen. His was a little thicker, not by much, but it did look different. Good different. It was great. And his skin color, it was to die for. That honey brown, a light caramel. The way his little stomach connected with his lower body was great. His skin was so soft, so gentle, he really was like a little walking shrine. Maybe I'm just over reacting or maybe I'm just crazy, but this boy was great. I honestly wanted to just stop him there and make love to him, but I couldn't. "Aaron, you're staring at me aren't you?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm not going to lie. You're perfect" I said. "and am all yours" he smiled. "I know. Can you pinch me please?" I asked. He gave me a little pinch. "Gosh...I didn't wake up. This is real. I'm fucking lucky" I said. "Hey, no swearing around me" he smacked my ass. "Hey hey. You know what happens when body contact occurs" I said. "Nice little butt there. Looks little though, compared to my butt" he said. "Yeah, well nothing can really compare to yours" I said. "all yours dude. Anytime, any place" "Woah, my personal hooker" I joked. "O yeah. Personal, I'll always be on call" he joked. In the shower it was hard to keep my hands off of him. We washed our hair and took turns rinsing off. It felt really good to be able to just stare a t him and be okay. He didn't care. In fact he wanted me to look at him. He was more than willing to do stuff, I knew it. But I had to hold myself back, just for a little bit more time. It was the right thing to do for the right person. "So Aaron, how does it feel like to take a shower with someone else and not do it?" he asked. "Dude, what are you calling me a slut? I've taken showers without having sex" I said. "SO you're telling me that you take showers with others, just for fun and not have sex? Like shower parties or what?" he asked. "No you go a point. Well, what can I say, its great. I just love being around you. I don't want this to be just about sex. In fact, I want to make it about everything, before we make it to sex." I said. "Yeah dude, I know what you're saying. I'm only a kid so I'll get so used to sex that's all I'm going to want. You're right. Lets just build our trust and get to know everything and then we can have sex all we want" he smiled. "Ay Adrian. The things you say." I told him as I handed him the shampoo. "Hey Aaron, tell me, you've had sex with jon haven't you?" he asked. "umm...why do you ask?" "I just, think, the way he acts and says things. It makes sense" "Well, to you? Or to everyone?" I asked worried. "I don't think anyone can really tell, but I mean I pay REAL close attention." "O well, I don't want to start this relationship off on the wrong foot so I'm going to be honest. Yes, I have. I know its weird, but we dated for a while" I said. "I knew it." he said in his matter of fact tone of voice. "You don't think its weird?" I asked. "Umm...the age or that your both guys?" he asked. "Both" "Umm well neither. I don't think its weird at all. Age is just a number. And I could tell right away that at one point there was something." he told me. Just then he turned around the get something. I got another good look at his gorgeous ass. Wow. "Well I'm glad you took that easily. Damn it Adrian. Your so freaking hot" I said. "Thanks...want to fuck me?" he asked. "Good try. You know I do. So bad. But we must wait. Please" I said. "Okay okay" he complained. "Don't complain little man. You're going to complain more when its inside you" I joked. "Oum...we will see about that" he challenged me. "Hmm...okay" I said. Then he handed me the wash cloth so I could scrub his back for him. He didn't even ask, he just handed it to me. I got the hint. I slowly started to scrub his back. He let his weight fall on me, and now we were holding each other. Since he was shorter than me, my dick really didn't go near his butt, but it was on his back. Still, the chemistry sent shocks through my body and I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. It was if time had stopped and it was just me and him in that shower stall. Nothing else mattered. I massaged his stomach from behind and then, as much as I didn't want to...I grabbed that cute little boy dick of his. He gasped. "Dude, o my god" he said excitedly. "Shhhhh" I said. "That's sooo goooood" he said. He was enjoying just my touch. I slowly massaged his little balls and his dick. Taking my time to get to know every centimeter of that magical tool between his cute legs. "Aaron, I thought you said we couldn't" he told me. "This isn't anything sir. This is just me massaging you" I told him. "Well then I love this massage" he said gasping for air. "I'm going to stop before this get any farther" I said as I tapped his little butt. "O man. Okay okay" he complained. He moved off and then we rinsed off. Then he gave me a hug. We held each other for a while. The water hitting us really made the difference. We were in a different world at the moment. Then, he looked straight up at me. We kissed. It as like, out of a movie. A weird, homo, sick movie. Yet, I loved it. "thanks aaron. You make everything about my life so much better" he said. "Dude, believe me, if anyone has to thank anyone, its me thanking you. You're amazing dude" I told him. "together, we're more amazing. Well we're amazing-er" he chuckled. "haha. And that is exactly why you're awesome. Only you can go from turning me completely on to making me laugh, in a matter of seconds" "well I am kind of cool huh?" he asked. "Completely. Now come lets get dressed there little naked man" I said. "You know you like me, you know I'm sexy" he started dancing. Moving his little hips around and shaking that little dick of his around. "Relax boy. Keep your shit together" I said. "Gosh, party pooper" he said. I got out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I dried myself. Then I signaled him to come to me and I hugged him with the towel. Then I started to dry him off. "O yeah, I get to be dried off. How sweet" he said. "Yeah, you know it. Its how I roll" I said. I instantly had a flash back. In the middle of my bathroom, me and Jon. I was drying him, he was looking at me smiling. We were talking, I was so happy. He was so happy. My heart started to hurt, well I don't know how else to phrase it, but yeah. I still couldn't get him out of my mind. I shook my head. Looked at Adrian, and his awesome nakedness. I finished drying him off and then we put our boxers and our shirts. "How long was our shower?" he asked. I looked at my phone. "roughly about 20 minutes" I said. "Damn, it flew by" he said. "Yeah, didn't it." "Dude, did jon like being fucked?" he asked. "Yeah, why?" I asked. "He seems like he would. Do you think he misses you?" "I don't know. Probably not. He's got other shit to worry about" "Are you sure. Because im pretty sure he's jealous" "Yeah he's always been like that. But he cheated on me twice and all before the age of 12, so believe me, he's not a good catch" I said. I tried convincing myself too when I said that. I wanted to believe it so much, but I couldn't I still missed him no matter how much I hated missing him. "Well, I'm sorry. I wont do that' I promise" he told me. "Good, that's all I ask." I said as I hugged him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Phew. I finally finished another chapter. I'm trying to write a chapter per month. It's tough. Got so many things to do. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as the other chapters. I love reading my "fan mail" so keep it coming. Keep the comments, ideas, suggestions, anything...just send it. I love, live, and get better through feedback. I know this section is dragging a little, but I feel like I have to explain a lot of things that are happening. Let me know what you guys think. Tommy199212@hotmail.com