Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2002 22:22:35 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part II Chapter 7 The story is moving along and we find ourselves at the point where Billy and Brett are about to face Brett's mom. You will learn few things in this chapter that you may find surprising. But you'll come to know these boys a whole lot more when it's over. Sorry, no nudity this time! It is winter, after all! What? Do you want them to catch a cold or something?!? W.A.R. Part Two: Cold Winter Chapter 7: Old Wounds by Jeff Wilson I left a note for my parents in case they came home. Then we locked up the house. I had no idea what I was going to do when we got to Brett's house. I was actually kind of scared. Brett wanted me to go along and support him, but he was the one who seemed confident and ready now. We walked along the trail in the woods behind my house. You wouldn't have known it was there now, the snow had covered everything. But Brett and I had walked that trail so much that we could have gone blindfolded. Down the hill, I could see the lights on at Dustin's house. When the trees have leaves, you can't see his house. I wondered what he was doing today. I needed to talk to him since he squealed on Brett last night. Of course if Dustin had hit somebody I'd have probably told my parents all about it too. But still, if you tell his mom something, everybody knows before too long. We made it out of the woods and into Mrs. Fox's yard. Mr. Fox had died back in the summer. He would have yelled at us if he had seen our footprints in his yard. He was very old, and always worried about his yard. But he had passed away at about the same time as my... err... never mind. Anyway, Mrs. Fox didn't care about the yard now. The grass had grown out and the Christmas lights hadn't been put out this year. We walked through Mrs. Fox's yard and into Brett's. This would have been a big cold waste of time if his mom wasn't home. We went to the back door and Brett opened it with his key. "Mom!! Are you home?" He yelled. "Brett? What are you doing back so soon?" Dr. Reilly called as she peeked around the corner. "Did you walk in all of that snow? Oh, hi Billy! I was just reading a book that reminded me of you! I didn't know you boys were coming here! You should have called. I'd have had some hot chocolate ready for you. Get out of those wet clothes and come to the living room to warm up!" We peeled off our wet coats and hung them up to dry. Then we slipped off our boots and walked to the living room. We sat there while Dr. Reilly made hot chocolate in the kitchen. "So," I whispered, "What am I supposed to say?" "I don't know... Think of something." "Think of something?!?" "Yeah, use that brain of yours for more than..." We stopped talking when Dr. Reilly came into the living room with a tray and three cups on it. She placed it on the table and we each took a cup. She told us to be careful because it was very hot. It felt good on my hands, which were freezing. I looked at Brett's mom. She must have been reading the book that now lay next to her. It was "Treating the Grieving Child in Denial." Not a book I would have chosen for snowy day reading. I wondered where the book was that reminded her of me. I was searching for a way to start the conversation. But then I didn't have to. "Billy, what happened to your mouth?" She asked. I looked at her and noticed her light brown eyes had locked onto me. "Well... That's kind of what we came over here for." "What happened?" She said seriously. Her dark brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail today. It made her look younger than her 39 years. "Well... Brett and I got into a fight last night at the bowling alley. I said something stupid that I shouldn't have said and he hit me." "What?" She turned to Brett. "You hit him? Anthony Brett Reilly!! Why did you do that?" She looked at Brett the way my parents had looked at me last night when I told them what I said. And she used his real first name, which is never a good sign. "I was mad, mom. I've been mad for months now. Ever since I found out what happened to you." "Brett! I don't think we should talk about that." "Why? Because Billy's here? He already knows." "You told him?" She looked over at me then back to Brett. She knew that I knew. "I had to! It was killing me! Do you know the hell I've been in for the last four months? Knowing what I am. Knowing that you didn't want me." Brett was starting to cry. "Brett! Where are you getting that from? I love you! You know that!" "But you didn't want me! You only had me because of what he did to you!" "This is why I didn't tell you about your father. I didn't want you to have these feelings. Regardless of how you were conceived, you are the most wonderful and very best thing that has happened to me in my life. The greatest joy in my life has been watching you grow up. I've told you that so many times." Brett wiped his eyes as he spoke. "But what about the way... I mean... Do you see him when you see me?" "What on earth are you talking about?" She asked, confused. "I mean, I don't look like you. Billy looks like his dad. So, do I look like mine?" "I think I need to tell you everything. When I was almost finished with my doctorate, I met your father. We went out a few times. It was a lot of fun, he was a very, very nice man. As polite as you'll ever find. Except when he drank. When he drank, he changed. He was a mean drunk. As mean as he was nice when he was sober. So, one night we both had too much to drink and when I drink too much, I get light headed and easily confused. When I awoke in the morning, we were in the same bed and it was pretty obvious what we had done. I confronted him in the morning but he said he didn't remember anything. I didn't believe him and told him our relationship was over. I warned him to stay away from me and he did. Then about two months later he did it again to another girl. But this time she pressed charges and he was convicted. By then I knew I was pregnant with you." "That doesn't sound like rape." Brett said. "Not the way most people think about it, no. But it was done against my will, and that makes it wrong. Even if he didn't hold me down or beat me up, it's still rape. It's the same as if he'd drugged me or knocked me out." "Why did you still have me?" "I wanted to be a mother, Brett. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I did think about ending it. But that was only at the very very beginning. Then I decided to have you. It was the best decision I ever made. Soon afterward I got a job in New York City and your father went to jail. You were born and then I moved to Long Island for a few years near my parents. I never told anyone who your father was. No one really asked. Your grandparents helped take care of you all during your early years. Then they had that car accident on the expressway and the job in Pittsburgh became available so we moved here. There were too many painful memories in New York. Pittsburgh seemed like a new start for us. That was seven years ago... Amazing how fast it's gone." I still remember the day they moved here. It was in the middle of July and I had heard that there were new people moving into the house next to the Foxes' house. I was seven at the time. I remember walking through the woods, no trail was there yet. My mom told me not to play in the woods, but I always did, then got in trouble. But I walked to the other side of the woods to see the new people. When I got to the other side, Mr. Fox yelled at me for walking on his lilacs. I ran over to the new people's house. On the back steps I saw a little brown headed boy, just about my age, but a lot smaller. He was looking at his shoes. I walked up to him. "My name's Billy Roberts and I live on the other side of those trees over there. Do you want to be my friend?" I asked, the sun shining brightly on my light blond hair. I smiled widely, my front teeth were beginning to come in and a slight gap was forming between them. He didn't answer. He just kept looking at his feet. "What's your name?" I asked. He still didn't answer. "Are you one of those kids who can't talk? I've heard of them. They have to use this thing. It makes them sound like a robot. I like robots, so I asked my mom if I could have one of those things. She said I was being insensitive. I don't know what that means, but I sure wish I had one of those robot things. Do you have one?" He finally looked up at me. Even though he was squinting in the sun, I could tell he had blue eyes. "Do you ever shut up?" He asked. "You talk funny. You're not from around here are you? Where did you come from?" "New York City, and it was a lot better than this place." "New York? Wow that's cool. I've heard of that place. They have this big statue called the Statue of Library. It's like the tallest statue in the world. And anyway, what was your name again?" "Brett Reilly. Well actually my real first name is Anthony, but everybody calls me Brett." "I like your shoes Brett. They're nice. Mine aren't Nikes like yours. My dad says the day he spends a hundred dollars on shoes will be the day money grows on trees. Well I planted a dollar in the yard, but nothing's happened yet. Why don't you use your first name? That's stupid. My real name's William, but I like Billy better. Nobody calls me William except my teacher. Why don't people call you Tony or something?" "Because my grandpap's name was Tony Reilly, so they called me Brett. My grandpap's dead now. Mommy says him and granny went to heaven, but I know what really happened. They got killed in a car wreck." "Wow... That stinks. My grandma lives across the street from me. She's gonna take me to the park down by the river later. So... You want to come to my house and play?" Brett nudged me with an elbow, and I realized I'd been daydreaming while his mom was talking. "I never told you about your father because I didn't think that you would understand. And then when you were old enough, I avoided it. I could never find a way to bring it up without hurting you more than not knowing did. When you found me talking on the phone to your aunt I knew that you had figured out the truth. I made a mistake in not following it up. I thought you were okay with it. You didn't seem any different than any other thirteen year old boy. Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling? I guess it's easier to see the problems in other children than it is my own." "Am I going to need counseling?" Brett asked. "Oh Lord no!! For one thing I don't trust anyone else enough to let them work with you. For another, I have to work with them. I don't need you becoming a topic of conversation. If you need anything, come to me." "My dad offered to help too." I said. Dr. Reilly reacted with surprise. "You told George?!?" "It was in the car last night. Don't worry, mom. You can trust him. He won't tell anyone. And he won't treat you any differently." Brett said. "Who else have you told?" She asked "No one!" Brett replied. "Good grief, Brett. I don't want the whole town to know. For one thing, I would lose a lot of clients if they knew. They trust me to be objective. If they know I was raped, that skews their opinion of me. Makes them less likely to trust me." "That's stupid!" I said angrily. "Yes, but also true. So boys, I'm counting on you to keep this between us." "Mom," Brett said, his voice shaky, as if he were going to start crying again. "Do I look like him?" "Yes," Dr. Reilly replied. "And he was very handsome, just like you are becoming. He just had that one major problem with drinking. I would have fallen in love with him if it wasn't for that. I hope that since you know you'll be able to avoid the same trap he fell into with alcohol. That will cause you nothing but trouble. Speaking of trouble, let's talk about what happened to Billy's mouth." "Well," Brett began. "You know how me and Dustin are. We got a little too competitive and when it was at the very end of the game I only needed two pins to win but I threw the ball in the fucking gutter." "Did you just say what I think you said?" She asked. "Yeah I threw the ball in the gutter. Anyway I..." "No," she interrupted. "Not that. Did you just use the f-word?" "Oh... I didn't say that. You must be hearing things mom. Anyway I threw the ball in the gutter and then I was so pis... err... ticked off that I threw a fit." "It was nasty..." I added. "Anyway, Billy tried to calm me down and I just couldn't take it right then and I said some stuff that was mean to him. Then he said something mean to me and that's when I punched him. You should have seen how much blood there was." "Boys, I am so disappointed in both of you. Billy, we've talked about your temper. When you get angry, you know what to do. Did you count to ten before you responded?" "No." I admitted. "And Brett. This is so unlike you! You know that hitting is wrong. Always. And I heard about Mrs. Smith on the bus too. You are responsible for the choices you make. I love you very much, boys. I worry about you, though. You have to think before you act." "I know." We both answered, then looked at each other and grinned a little. "Sometimes I'd just like to ring your necks! Are you hungry?" We ate lunch there with her and then she offered to take us back to my house while she went to help a client. We asked if we could walk back and she said that would be okay. As we were walking through Mrs. Fox's yard, I could feel the difference in Brett. He was walking with a different air about him. As if a bookbag filled with dictionaries had been taken off his back. "Hey Anthony!" I said mockingly. "Don't call me that, William Aaron!" He said, pronouncing my middle name AIR run. "Okay, Ant. Heh heh! Did you just say the F-word in front of your mother?" I laughed. "Shut the fuck up, Willy." He scolded. We both laughed. Even though the snow was deeper, our journey back to the woods just seemed a whole lot easier. That wraps up Chapter Seven. Three more to go! The next one, Snow Battle, kind of wraps up some loose ends and I think you'll really like it. I had a lot of fun writing the little flashback in this one! Brett knew Billy for less than a minute and was already telling him to shut up. Aren't kids great people? Please send your thoughts on this or any other chapter to me at my email address. vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com I love to hear your comments on the story. What do you think so far? What do you think of the characters? You know... Anything you have on your cranium.