Date: Sun, 18 May 2003 00:33:43 -0400 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: WAR Part Three, Chapter 12 Here it is, the last chapter of part three. I'll have a lot to say at the end. W.A.R. Part Three - Self Destructive Tendencies Chapter Twelve: Saturday Night by Jeff Wilson There are times when your mind is racing so fast that you are oblivious to what is going on around you. I can remember going very fast on the road. I can remember looking back at Brett and Dustin and seeing them look menacingly at each other. But that's about all I remember from the real world as we went to the hospital. We passed the local hospital and were heading to Pittsburgh. Apparently, they had transferred my dad there. That was even worse news, because that's exactly what they did with my grandma and before her, my grandpap. They both eventually ended up dead. In my head, though, I had a thousand thoughts going on at once. What if I had gone with my dad this morning? Could I have saved him? Would I have been able to help? Why did I call him an asshole yesterday? I remembered hearing him stutter a few times during our argument. Was that a sign? Did I start the process in motion that led to his stroke? Dad had never stuttered before. Was it possible to make somebody so angry that you give them a stroke? "Would you stop it!?!" I heard come from behind me. "You stop it!" I heard in return. "Mom!!" I heard Dustin whine. "Oh both of you shut up!!!" She bellowed in her best school bus voice. "You've been pestering each other the whole trip! Stop it! I'm sorry Billy. Hard to believe they used to be friends. We're almost there." "But..." I heard Dustin start. "NOT ANOTHER WORD!!!" Mrs. Smith replied. We made it to the hospital and Mrs. Smith went to the front desk. She found out where everyone was and led us to the elevator. Brett and Dustin were constantly elbowing and being mean to each other the whole time. When one of them would speak, the other would either interrupt or roll his eyes as if bored to tears. We were taken to a room where my mom was waiting with Brett's mom. "Billy! Oh thank God!!" My mom jumped out of her chair and hugged me tightly. She started crying softly. "Is it true, mom? Is it... Is it a stroke?" I asked, holding back my own tears. "It is." She said. "Not as bad as mom's. But worse than anything he's had before." "What happened?" I asked. "Well, Mr. Nicholson said he was helping him when he said that he didn't feel well." I saw Mr. Nicholson sitting with his wife in a corner of the room with a man in a suit that I knew from somewhere. "Your father said he didn't feel well, but he kept working. Then he sat down for lunch and passed out. Mr. Nicholson had dealt with that at work, but he called an ambulance anyway. Good thing he did, because it wasn't sugar." There was a loud crash and we all looked into the corner to see a broken vase between Brett and Dustin. Both mothers grabbed their sons and went in different directions to scold them. Both blamed the other boy. While my friends were getting yelled at, the man with the Nicholsons came to me. "Hello, Billy. I'm Carl. I'm the pastor of the Methodist Church in town. Mr. Nicholson called me after the ambulance. Is there anything I can do to help you?" "Ummm..." I started. I really didn't know how to reply. Our family hadn't been to church for a long time. Ever since my dad got upset when the preacher got voted out by some of the elders. "You don't have to say anything. Just remember that God loves you, boy." Then he went to talk with my mom. I felt uncomfortable, so I went to the bathroom. I walked down the hallway and was relieved to find the restroom empty. I did my business and then washed my hands. When I looked into the mirror, there was Billy Roberts, looking back at me. At long last, by myself, I leaned down onto the sink and started to cry. I felt completely terrible. How could I let this happen? How could I be such an idiot? I pushed dad too far, and the last thing I did was call him an asshole. Now he was going to be crippled and a vegetable and I'd never be able to tell him I was sorry for being a jerk. The door burst open and Dustin walked in. I immediately tried to stop crying. But he could tell. "Billy! Thank god I found you! I've got to talk to you, alone." He locked the bathroom door. Why didn't I think of that? "Billy, I need to tell you something." "No Dustin, first, I have to tell you something. I'm really sorry about what I said at the ball park." "I know you are." He said flatly. "But anyway, listen. You have to listen to me. I don't know what you said to Amanda, but I have to say thanks." "What?" "Yeah, she saw me earlier today, before this mess started. She was crying. She was all sorry for hitting me and treating me like shit and all. And she said you were the one who made her see how mean she was being. I don't know how you did it, but you did!" "Dustin..." I started, but then he grabbed me and hugged me. "You really are my best friend." He said, almost crying himself. "What about Mike?" I asked. I felt his grip loosen. "Mike? What about him?" He let go and looked at me. "Well aren't you... um... Really good friends?" I asked, trying not to say too much. "Sure we are. But come on, he's twenty-three. He's more like a father or something than a friend." "A father?" I asked. I couldn't believe how much distance he was putting between them after what they had done that morning. "Yeah, since mine's an asshole and all." He said. It felt like a hammer. He could have called his dad anything but that. I burst into tears right there in front of him. Dustin looked shocked. "I'm sorry Billy! I didn't mean to make you upset." "I'm the asshole!" I cried. "I hate myself! You know that?! I fucking hate myself! I'm an asshole and I'm a jerk and I'm a fucking loser! Sometimes, when I look at myself in the mirror, I just want to fucking kill myself." "Don't say that." Dustin said, looking kind of scared. "I do! I just want to make it go away! That'd show them! It hurts too much to live knowing that I hurt everybody who gets close to me. Knowing what I did to you. To Brett. My dad. My mom. My grandma! Everybody I love gets hurt because of me! I just want to hurt myself!" I looked in the mirror, and there was Billy Roberts, looking back at me. I couldn't stand to look at that boy in the mirror anymore. So I punched the mirror as hard as I could. It broke as easily as the bones in my hand when I hit the metal behind it. I won't lie, it hurt. But at the same time, it didn't feel like it hurt enough. I stood there for a few seconds, looking at my now bloody hand and feeling the pain shooting up my arm. There were cuts all over from the glass, and a big gash that would definitely leave a scar inside my palm. Dustin looked petrified. His eyes were fixed on my hand. "Billy... What are you doing?" He asked, unable to believe what I had just done to myself. I just stood there, looking at my broken, throbbing hand. Dustin unlocked the door, probably to go get help, when it burst open. Brett came in and saw the mess and my hand. "Billy! Oh my god, are you okay?!?" He turned to Dustin with a look of pure hatred. "What did you do to him, you stupid miserable prick!?!" He grabbed Dustin by the shirt. "I didn't do anything!" Dustin cried. "We were talking and he flipped out and said he was going to hurt himself and punched the mirror!" "Will you get the fuck out of here for god's sake and go get a doctor or something! Do you want him to bleed to death!?!" Dustin ran out of the room and went down the hall. "It's okay Billy. Everything's going to be okay..." I heard Brett say from what seemed like thirty miles away. The room turned green and then purple and then black. I felt Brett catch me and lay me down on the floor. The last thing I remember from that night was Brett crying for help and a throbbing pain. The End of Part Three -- Self Destructive Tendencies I'll bet you think that's a cliffhanger. It's not. It's just that Billy has officially hit rock bottom. It's been coming. His self-destructive behaviors have led him to this moment. Having betrayed or hurt everyone in his life in one way or another, Billy finally had no one left to hurt but himself. But, there is a reason I called this part Self Destructive Tendencies, and not Self Destruction. You see, these characters are not destroyed. In fact, Billy will come through this even stronger and wiser. But it's getting there that is the hard part. The title of Part Four is "Rehabilitation." I'm looking forward to it. It will take place in the summer months following Part Three. George and Billy must now begin the recovery process. It will not be easy. Billy is damaged phsyically and psychologically. George will face hardships as well. How will Billy deal with the fact that he ruined his hand? What state will George be in after his stroke? Both of them were warned that their choices were leading them into trouble. They chose to ignore the warnings, now they will be unable to ignore the consequences. But on the bright side, Billy will get to spend some time at the Reilly's while his mom stays in Pittsburgh. How will Billy and Brett react to this situation. What's really going on between Dustin and Mike? What's going on with Amanda? What is behind the hug Emily gave Billy before he left? Was it friendly concern, or something else? Lots of things to explore... and that's not even considering what will happen when people find out about Billy and Brett. But all of those questions will have to wait. I must admit, my writing batteries need recharged before I tackle Rehabilitation. It's a tough time of year for my brain. I'll need a few weeks before I even begin to flesh out a new part of the story. So I'm going to take a little break. But that doesn't mean I don't have ways to keep your WAR appetite satisfied! What you see here at nifty is not the only writing I've done with these characters. I have written several short stories, some are just sketches, using the characters I've created here in the story. Most of them aren't qualified as stand-alone stories. Some of them are developed and can be enjoyed without even reading the main WAR story. They give light to characters and situations that Billy may be unaware of. Billy isn't even in some of them, let alone narrorating them. I got an idea a few weeks ago. You've seen those extra or deleted scences in DVD's, right? Well, over the next few months, I'm going to have a WAR Bonus Stories Series. I figured if I ever got a website, I'd include these little stories on there, so I saved them. The only thing I outright deleted was my original idea for Cold Winter, Chapter One. But over the next few months, I'll let you sneak a peek at some of the other characters in WAR. For example, the first one, Bedford Camping Trip is the infamous camping trip Billy and George took between Parts One and Two. There's also Dustin and Mike, Dustin and Brett Bowling, and Brett in New York. There's others too. Some go back in time, others take place during WAR, but Billy wasn't a witness to them. One of the is even written in Brett's point of view, which was really fun. So that's the plan for the summer. Let me know what you think. Heck, if you've got an idea for one of the bonus adventures, let me know. Maybe I'll write one up for ya! It's really different writing stand-alones. Send your comments, questions, quibbles, or queries to: vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com Let me know what you thought of Part Three! I'll see you next time!