Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 22:08:39 -0500 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 3, Chapter 3 Sometimes our worst enemies are the people closest to us... W.A.R. Part Three - Self-Destructive Tendencies Chapter Three: Uncomfortable Situations by Jeff Wilson Dustin's mom arrived at the house at around 8:00, tired from a very long day. She was taking classes at California University. No, not the state of California, there's an actual town in Pennsylvania called California. The University is not very big, it's a little school squished between the town and the river. She travels there every evening after the bus run. I'm not sure what classes she takes, but I know she's very close to a degree of some kind. Dustin and I were playing cards. Dustin's dad was asleep in his chair. Amanda still hadn't come back from where ever she had ran off too. I could tell right away that Mrs. Smith was very tired. Dustin greeted her with a smile and a hug. "How was your day, mom?" He asked sweetly. "Oh, boys... You have no idea how tired I am. I see your father's here. Where's Amanda?" She asked. "She left as soon as dad came home." Dustin said. "That creep didn't come over today did he?" She asked. It was quite obvious that she had no love for Max. "No." Dustin lied. "He didn't come over." "Well, I guess I'll make dinner. I hope you like macaroni and cheese and hot dogs Billy, because that's all I feel like making right now." "That's fine Mrs. Smith. It's late anyway. I'll help you if you want." I offered. "What? Someone in my house who actually offers to help cook? Billy, you can never go home now." She laughed. "Sure you can help. I'd appreciate the company." Because of my offer, Dustin was obliged to help as well. I didn't do much, just got the pots for her and sat with her in the kitchen. We sat there and talked while the water boiled. "So, how are you doing in school?" She asked me. "Oh, not too bad. I got a B on a science report for Miss Winston the other day." "Oh, the dyke." Mrs. Smith said. I immediately felt a weird feeling in my stomach. "That woman gave Dustin a D the other day on a paper that I know he should have got at least a B on. She said it was turned in late, but I made sure he had it done the night before." "Maybe Dustin lost it in his desk." I said. "It's always a mess." Dustin looked at me sharply. "Dustin, how could you lose a four-page paper?" She asked sternly. "I told you, I don't know." Dustin protested. "Boy did I crack his ass when I got that paper back." She said. "Can you keep the fucking noise down!!" Dustin's dad shouted as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "Oh for God's sake, Frank! We're just talking." "Jesus Christ you stupid bitch!!! Why can't you just shut up for once?!? I'm out here trying to get a little sleep and all I can hear is your fuckin' mouth!" He shouted, quite loudly if I may add. "Well I'm sorry if I can't live up to your standard of excellence, your majesty!!" "Don't fucking start, Carol! Maybe if I didn't have to come home to such a shit hole, I wouldn't have to get out of here so often!!" He yelled. "Well at least I'm trying to make a better life for our kids, Frank! What the hell are you doing for them besides becoming the town drunk?!?!" "You don't think I care about my fucking kids? I care more than you do! Maybe if Amanda wasn't such a goddamn slut and Dustin wasn't such a useless fucking dumbass I could..." That was all he was able to say, because at that point Mrs. Smith slapped Mr. Smith right across the face and stormed out of the kitchen. Mr. Smith followed and I could hear them yelling all the way to their room. I had never seen two adults fight like that. Especially two people that were married to each other. I was stunned. I knew that Dustin's house wasn't perfect, neither was mine. But this was really bad. I turned to Dustin. "Do they always fight like that?" I asked. Dustin started to say something, but the words got choked up in his throat. He swallowed hard and I could tell that he was trying not to start crying. "Hey, it's alright..." I said, trying my best to keep him from losing it. "Can we take a walk again?" He asked as his voice cracked. "Sure, let's go." I said. We left the house and walked toward the woods. It was dark outside, and the stars were shining brightly. We could still hear Dustin's parents arguing until we were into the woods. We walked to the spot where the path to Dustin's house connects with the path to Brett's. It was also the spot where Brett and Dustin had the big fight that ended their friendship. Dustin sat down on the same stump where he had sat on that day. He put his face in his hands and just started bawling his eyes out. I had only seen him cry once before, after Brett had hit him. But this was something different. This was a boy who was just totally defeated. I felt that weird feeling in my stomach get even worse. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there and watched him cry. Finally he began to talk through his tears. "My dad hates me. My own dad fucking hates me!" He wailed. I didn't know what to say. At that moment, I felt Dustin may have been right. "They're gonna break up, I know they are! I hate them! I fucking hate them all!! I hope they all die!!" He cried and broke down again. I decided that the thing to do was just to let him know that I was there for him. I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't look up at me, he just grabbed me around my waist and kept on crying. I could feel him shaking and heaving as he cried. I just kept my hand on his shoulder and let him cry. "You're the only one who likes me, Billy." He moaned. "My mom, my dad, my fucking sister... they all hate me. They hate me 'cause I'm dumb. Everybody does except for you." "I'm not the only one who likes you, Dustin. Your mom likes you. Everybody at school likes you." I offered. "No they don't. They hate me 'cause I'm stupid!" He said, crying even harder. "You're not stupid, Dustin." I said. "Yes I am. I'm a useless dumbass!" "Stop it!!" I said forcefully. I felt Dustin's grip loosen. "You just said the same thing your dad just said. Don't you see? You are not stupid. You're actually a pretty smart person. Your only problem is you don't believe in yourself. That's why your sister pushes you around. That's why you don't do well in school. If you had more confidence in yourself, you'd be just fine." Dustin sat there on that stump for a minute. He let go of me and just stared at the ground a few feet in front of him. His hands were balled up in tight fists, resting on his knees. I don't know what he was thinking, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. "So..." He said weakly. "I wonder if the house is burning down..." "Why?" I asked, confused by such an out-of-the-blue statement. "Because we left that water boiling on the stove." He answered. I had forgotten all about that. Dustin seemed to have gotten control of himself again. "I'm sorry I did that, Billy. I come here sometimes when no one's around. I usually don't cry in front of other people. I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry? You're human. You're going to cry now and then. I'd cry too if my parents did that in front of me." I said. "It's just... I'm scared, Billy. If my parents break up, what's going to happen to me? I might have to move. We don't have a lot as it is. I know I'm not the richest kid in school. I can't wear nice Nike shoes or buy video games like you and Brett and Joey can. If they break up, I'll have even less." I looked at the shoes on my feet, yep, Nikes. I looked at Dustin's... I don't even think they had a name on them. I suddenly felt like a terrible person for wearing them. I thought about how I had complained to my mom about going to school earlier today, when Mrs. Smith was working and going to school at the same time. I thought about my video games, sitting there at home, and how sometimes I don't even play with them for weeks. Dustin doesn't even have a tv in his room, let alone video games. I tried desperately to find something to say. Some words of wisdom that could help my friend. "I don't know, Dust. All I know is, sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. Life is never easy, you know. Sometimes it's less hard but it's never easy..." Where have I heard that before? Dustin looked at me with an odd expression on his face. I couldn't tell what emotion he was feeling. He spoke quietly. "Will you do me a favor?" He asked. "You know it." I said sincerely. "Please don't tell anybody that I was out here crying like a moron." "Okay." I promised. "Oh, and Billy... Thanks." He said, not looking directly at me. I could tell he was embarrassed about the whole situation. "No problem. You ready to go back?" I said. "No. I just want to sit here for a while, if that's okay." He said. So we sat there in the dark. As the time slipped by, the temperature began to drop. We both sat there shivering until finally Dustin was ready to go back home. I hope this chapter gives you a better picture of just what Dustin has to go through every day. Perhaps these conditions seem unusual or unrealistic, but unfortunately they are all too real for too many kids. Needless to say, Dustin's going through a lot, and Billy's not quite sure what to do about it. In real life, maybe none of us are sure how to help a kid like Dustin. Dustin is going to try to reach out for help. The question is, where is he going to look for it? Questions, comments? Send me an email! vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com See you later!