Date: Sat, 09 Aug 2003 14:19:00 -0400 From: Jeff Wilson Subject: W.A.R. Part 4: Chapter 11 So, we explored some serious stuff in the last chapter. Now we'll see how Billy handles it. W.A.R. Part Four - Rehabilitation Chapter Eleven -- Volleyball by Jeff Wilson I couldn't get to sleep on Sunday night. The words Mike had spoken just kept bouncing around in my head. Was it true? Was Dustin really being molested at home? Or was Mike the one lying? It could be that Mike was just trying to cover for his own mistakes. Either way, I was going to have to see Dustin the next day. It wasn't going to be easy. The last time I saw him, he kicked me and told me that he never wanted to see me ever again. I awoke with a start at around 4:30 in the morning. I knew right away what had happened. I didn't even have to reach down to feel it, I was soaking wet. "Oh no! Oh no no no no no!!!!" I almost started to cry. I hadn't wet the bed in almost a year. And now here I was fourteen and a half years old and I'd done it again. I was so angry with myself. I got up and ripped the sheets off my bed. I threw them on the floor. Then I pulled off my shorts and threw them on top of the sheets. I grabbed the sheet and wiped myself off. Then I threw myself back on the bed and tried to go back to sleep. I didn't sleep though. I just lay there for three long hours. When my alarm clock went off at 7:30, I walked to the bathroom and took a shower. It felt good to get the nasty feeling off of my body. I felt okay on the outside, but I still felt miserable on the inside. How was I going to deal with Dustin? My mom arranged for Emily Barnhart's mom to take me to the volleyball practice in the morning. Emily was going to try out for the Junior Varsity team. I was surprised that she was in so many different activities around the school. Miss Winston wanted me and Dustin to go to the school early to learn how to set things up, and Mrs. Barnhart agreed to take me and Emily early. Emily's mom wanted me to tell her all about how my dad was doing. I didn't mind talking about him now that he was doing better. But, it was hard to concentrate because I was still worried about what was going to happen with Dustin. When we got to the school, Mrs. Barnhart dropped us off and drove away. "What's wrong, Billy?" Emily asked as soon as her mom was out of sight. "What? Nothing..." "I can tell when something's bothering you, Billy. I've known you for too long." "Okay. Dustin and I got into a fight. I haven't seen him since it happened and I don't know what's going to happen." "Oh is that all?" Emily said as if I had said the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. "It's a big deal!" I said angrily. "He might hit me or something." "Billy, I've known Dustin almost as long as I've known you. The last thing he would ever do is hurt you. You're his best friend. Do you want me to talk to him?" "NO!!!" I said a little too quickly. "Well, don't complain to me about him then," she said. Emily was one of the few people who could talk to me like that and not have me get mad at her. She would only listen to me complain about things for so long before she expected me to deal with it. We walked into the gym and were met by Miss Winston. Dustin was already waiting. He barely looked at me. He just listened to Miss Winston and did as he was told. I did my best to help him with what I could. The good news was that I wouldn't have the cast on when the season started. The girls started to arrive and change in the locker room. When practice began, Miss Winston had them do various stretches and warm ups. She told them the rules and introduced Dustin and me. Then we worked. I ran after balls, ran to get things for Miss Winston, ran to get more things, ran, ran, ran, ran, and every once in a while, I'd run. I never worked so hard in my life. I thought that this job was going to be easy! I was dead tired by the time we broke for lunch. Emily and I had brought our lunches. We decided to eat on the steps outside the gym. Emily asked Dustin if he wanted to join us, but he said no. "Wow, that's the first time I heard him talk all morning." Emily said as we sat down on the steps. "Billy, you have to talk to him." "Me?" I asked. "Why me? I'm not the one acting like a jerk." "Billy, you always act like a jerk. But it's more than that. If you don't fix things between you now, I don't know if you ever will. I've never seen him act like this. He's so miserable. Please go talk to him. I'll come with you if you want." "No! I'll go alone." I said. I finished off my sandwich and walked up the steps back to the gym. But Dustin wasn't around. I walked into the hallway, but no Dustin. I checked the bathroom, but Dustin wasn't there. Oh well. I decided to go back to talk with Em some more. The door was still open as I walked across the gym floor. I could hear Emily talking to somebody as I got closer. "I just sent him to look for you. I don't know why you boys can't get along." "Mind your own business, Barny." I heard Dustin say. "If you would just talk to him..." "There's nothing to say. He made his choice, now he has to live with it. I'm not going to be the stand-by friend." "Dustin! I know you're mad about him and Brett being friends." "You have no idea what I'm mad about, Emily." "He doesn't mean to leave you out. He does the same thing to me, you know. We were just as close as you two were. We both lost to Brett." I thought about storming out right then and there and setting them both straight. How dare they talk about me and Brett behind our backs? But instead, I decided to slip away quietly and pretend I didn't know what was going on. I went instead to talk to Miss Winston. When practice started for the afternoon, I didn't have to run as much. So instead, I was bored. It would have been nice to have Dustin to talk to. As practice was wrapping up, Miss Winston sent the girls to change. Dustin and I had to tear down the nets and clean up all of the balls and things. Dustin grabbed a basketball and practiced shooting hoops while I talked with some of the girls as they were leaving. It had been a really positive day. I got to know a lot of the older girls that I probably would have never met if I hadn't signed up to help. Some of the seniors said that I was cute. That was nice of them. As I was talking with a junior girl, Dustin's basketball rolled to my feet. I figured I might as well try to make peace, like Mike said. I picked up the ball and walked to Dustin. "Here. I guess this is yours." "Won't Brett be jealous? You talking with all these cute girls?" He said, taking back his ball and throwing it back toward the hoop. "Maybe if it was boys volleyball and not girls." I said. Dustin grunted a little when I said it. I couldn't tell if he was trying not to laugh or if he was mad. The ball hit the rim of the hoop and bounced to Miss Winston. She joined us. "So," she said. "Did you boys have a good day?" "Yeah," Dustin said. "You did a good job today, thank you very much." Miss Winston tossed the ball to the hoop and it fell in perfectly. "See you tomorrow," she said before she walked away. "So, are you still mad at me?" I asked. "You're a real asshole, you know that?" Dustin replied. Well, this wasn't going well... He was keeping his voice quiet so no one could hear. "You're a no good fucking liar. Why didn't you tell me you were a fag?" "Don't call me that. And I didn't tell you because I didn't know. I didn't want to ruin our friendship." "Well, good job!" He said sarcastically. "Dustin, I'm sorry." "The hell you are. You're sorry alright. A sorry excuse for a friend." About that time, Emily walked toward us. "So, are you two working things out?" She asked. "No," I said, getting frustrated. "All I've done is stand here and get insulted." "Like you did to me? In front of the whole fucking town." "I said I was sorry about that a hundred times. Look I still want to be your friend, even after you kicked my broken arm." I was hoping to get Emily on my side. "I only kicked you because you were being a fucking prick." Dustin replied. "I was only being a fucking prick because you and Brett were being dickheads!" "Boys!" Emily said. "Shut up!" I yelled. "Don't tell her to shut up!" Dustin said. Then he threw the basketball at me. It hit my right cheekbone and I yelped in pain. "Ow! You fucking idiot!! That's my right eye, asshole! You could have fucking broke it again! I could go blind, dick!" I moaned as I held my hand up to my face. "Oh shit! I forgot about that!" Dustin cried. I removed my hand and showed Emily. "Is it bruising?" I asked. "Oh give me a break. You two are pathetic." She said as she stormed away. "Now look what you did!" I said angrily. "You're the one that told her to shut up! Don't blame it on me." Dustin said. "I don't know why I even bothered! I should have just left you to be miserable and alone. But no! I had to listen to Mike and try to be nice to you again." "You talked to Mike?" Dustin asked. Great, now I'd blown it. "No. I mean... Well, sort of." "First you humiliate me, then you treat me like shit, now you're trying to steal my best friend! You fucking asshole!" "Dustin, that's not what's going on!" "Go to hell, Billy! I hate your lying stinking guts! I hope you die you fucking cocksucker!" Dustin turned and ran out of the gym using the outside stairs exit. I looked around the gym to see how many people had seen us, but luckily the gym was completely empty. I thought hard about what to do next. I could either go out to Emily and go home, or I could go after Dustin and possibly take more abuse. I don't know what made me go after Dustin, but that's what I did. I walked quickly out the door and down the steps. I looked around, but Dustin had a huge head start on me. I took a guess and headed toward the football stadium. I caught a glimpse of red moving and I walked quickly to where I had seen it. There, near the empty concession stand was Dustin. He was ruthlessly kicking the metal fence. Then he punched it a few times before ramming his head right into it about four times in a row. Then he turned around, slammed his whole body into the fence a few more times before dropping to the ground in a heap. I cautiously walked toward him. Dustin looked up at me. There was a trickle of blood coming down out of his hair and spilling over his forehead. I just carefully walked up beside him and sat down. Dustin started sobbing and I put my arm over his shoulders. "I can't do this, Billy. I can't live like this anymore." "It's okay, Dust..." "It's not okay. You don't know. You can just be gay and have sex with Brett and it doesn't bother you. Well I can't. I'm not like you Billy." "Well who said it didn't bother me? Do you know how long I had to fight with myself before I could even face it? All last year, I fought it. I refused to be gay. I fought it, and fought it, and fought it. But it was a losing battle. The more I tried to be normal, the more I fell in love with Brett. Stupid isn't it?" "Well I'm not a fag, Billy." "Please don't say that word." I said. "Oh, sorry. I'm not gay. I never wanted to be gay. I still don't. I want to get out of my house and get married. I want kids..." "And you think I don't? Dustin, I don't know why I am the way I am. All I know is, we were in a gym filled with hot girls and they didn't do a thing for me. Did they do anything for you?" "Shit, Billy, I had to go jack off during lunch cause my dick was about to explode." "Eww! I did not need to know that. So why did you... you know... with Mike?" Dustin wiped the blood from his forehead. "Billy, it just... happened. One day I went to his house and I just decided to suck him off. I never planned it. It was just sex." "You don't just have sex." I explained. "Well I do. It's fucking, plain and simple. Mike's willing to get me off, I'm willing to get him off. That's all it is. He's my friend but I don't love him like you and Brett. It's just for fun." "Just for fun... If you say so. So are we friends again?" I asked. "Not yet. I have to do something first. Billy, I'm sorry I got mad at you for being gay and then kicking you. It was wrong and I'm really sorry about it." "Okay... Umm... Dustin, I'm sorry for lying to you, and for telling everybody your secret, and for not being a very good friend." Dustin smiled at me for the first time in a long while. "There. Now we're friends again. Hey, I saw you walking in the woods the other day." "You did?" I asked. "Yeah, I hid when I heard you coming. Mike wasn't home so I... Oh, did you hear about his mom?" "She fell down the steps. She's at the same place as my dad. That's where I talked to him." I answered. "Whoa! How's that for coincidences? Well, come on, we'll talk on the way to the cars. You think Em's mom would take me home too. I'm supposed to walk." "I think it can be arranged." I said. We found Emily still waiting when we got to the parking lot. I apologized for telling her to shut up and told her that Dustin and I were friends again. So now I had fixed my friendship with Dustin... All I had to do was convince Brett that it was a good idea. Then I had to find out what Mike wanted to do next to find out what was really going on at Dustin's house. I couldn't figure out which one would be harder. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ That's it for Chapter Eleven. Two more for this part, I think. Billy and Dustin seem to have patched things up. Dustin didn't do much to reveal anything about what is going on at his house. But, did you really expect him to reveal anything? And if he ever does reveal anything, what then? Well, anyway, thanks for reading! I'm surprised that we're actully picking up new readers at this point. This story's been going on for almst a year now! And you thought I was crazy for having those short chapters! New readers can catch up in less than a day, which is what I was hoping for. Comments? Questions? Want to slap me? Well, email's the key. Send it my way... vicioussquirrel@hotmail.com I'll see you next time.