Date: Sun, 6 Oct 2013 11:07:04 +1300 From: bob charles Subject: Washed Up (Gay / Young friends) chapter 19 Washed Up. Disclaimer: Warning: this story contains sexual content, contact between young boys, and other themes that may offend. If the subject matter offends you, is not to your tastes, or if you are under legal age for your area, then find something else to read. In the following story all names and events are completely fictional. Although I may mention a specific location, place, or person any resemblance to said people, location, or places is completely unintentional. Chapter 19: With that the doctor starts to disconnect Pierre from all the electrodes, and turns the monitors off in preparation for the move. We have to wait until later in the day, because there won't be a room free for Pierre until then. We all have a mini celebration though, because it means that the doctors are no longer concerned about any potential of brain damage or anything. It is such great news that I plant a tender loving kiss on his gorgeous lips right in front of the doctor; thankfully he doesn't seem to care. Moments after the doctor leaves we finally see some of the others. Mum, Sarah and Callum all enter the room, before mum asks Dan and Caleb very politely if they could please leave the room. I am wondering what is going on when mum does this, because they have been here through everything else, why not with whatever mum wants now? Once the two boys have left the room I quickly get the answer to that question, when mum hands me a folded up fax. She tells me that because it was addressed to me, no one has read it yet, and the piece of tape holding it closed proves that to me, because the receptionist who got the fax put it on. I quickly open the fax expecting to get all the answers about dad, but I am left disappointed and confused all over again, because it doesn't really answer a thing. ************ Dear Josh. I know I'm probably the last person that you want to listen to, but can you do me one favour, and ring this number. It's all I ask of you. (09)4556-8973. Thanks Dad. That is all he wrote, leaving me completely confused, because after everything he has done to me, now he wants a favour. I don't understand it, unless there is something more to it than meets the eye. Why does he want me to ring this number anyway, because he hasn't even given me instructions about what I'm supposed to do once I have rung it? None of it makes any sense. Mum, Sarah and Callum are all looking at me expectantly, because they all want to know what is in the note. I can't make out why dad even bothered, so I just hand the note over to mum whilst shrugging my shoulders. She takes the note and reads it aloud, fully understanding my confusion after she has done so. The note is far too vague to work anything out from, so mum does the only logical thing by pulling out her cell-phone and dialling the number. "Hello, I just received a note from one Harry McFadden. I am just wondering why he would get my son to ring, whoever you are?" mum says agitatedly after the line is answered. I can hear the other person say something before the phone goes dead, leaving mum with a baffled expression on her face. "Whoever it was on the other end said that he will talk with you, but only you. It was your dad's last wish," mum tells me before handing me the phone to make the call. This whole thing seems really strange, because I cannot work out why on earth the guy will only talk to me. I mean due to my age, surely my own mother would be able to receive the information on my behalf. There seems to be no logical explanation for any of this, leaving me to wonder whether dad is playing one last game. To be certain, the only thing I can do is ring the number, so taking the phone off mum I hit redial and wait. "Hi, this is Josh McFadden, my dad told me to call you," I say to the man who answers the phone. It seems really strange using my proper surname again, because it has been so long since I last did so. In fact I still hadn't got used to Baker as a surname, because for a long time I had been known as Smith. "Hello Josh, I'm Dr Hansel. I am a specialist doctor who was looking after your father, but I will explain more about that later. Your father wanted me to talk to only you for various reasons, which I will also explain at a later date, but he requested that you all come to my office, because I have something he wanted you to see. I also have to explain a bit about your father, because there is a lot you don't know about him," the man says. We talk a little bit about some stuff, none of it that important, because the doctor isn't able to tell me anything over the phone. When it comes to setting up an appointment though, I'm stuck. I have no idea how long we are going to be stuck in hospital for, let alone mum's plans once we are out. I have to hand the phone to her, which the doctor is happy with, in order to set up an appointment with him. Mum and the doctor quickly arrange things, while she tries to press him some more about what is going on. It is all to no avail, because he is even more vague about things to her than he was to me. So by the time mum has hung up the phone, we are still no better off in understanding what is going on than we were before the call. Sarah and Callum look at us in anticipation, wanting to know what is going on and why dad sent me a note. I just shrug my shoulders at them, because I am even more confused now than I was to start with, which doesn't help them out one little bit. They turn to mum hoping that she has some answers, but I know that she knows even less than I do, which makes the whole situation hopeless. "Well, all I can say for sure is that we will be going back to New Zealand in about seven weeks to meet up with this doctor of your father's. I don't know anything else and judging by Josh's reactions I don't think he does either," mum tells my siblings. Both Sarah and Callum look as confused as we are, they don't know whether to believe what we are telling them. It sounds so strange that we don't even know just a little bit more than we did before the phone call, but it is true and they gradually start to believe us. Callum gives up pressing us for more information pretty quickly, and climbs up into bed with Pierre and me. Sarah continues to press a little longer, but even she realises that it isn't going to get her anywhere. Callum then snuggles up into me and promptly falls asleep. I am surprised because I never expected this. Sarah and mum explain that he is probably very tired still, because Alice has been working with him and Manuel a lot lately, and they have been able to see the mental fatigue setting in. Both boys have taken Alice's advice and tried ever so hard to get it working. The problem is that they also expected instant results, but they have come to accept that they are going to have to continue working on the resolutions to their problems for a while. With everyone quickly forgetting about the whole mystery surrounding dad, Sarah decides to leave. Mum at the same time remembers about my guests whom she has left waiting out in the corridor for us, so goes to get them and lets them back in. They both look a bit confused about what has gone on, but neither of them questions us about it, although I do get a big smile, when they see Callum sound asleep curled up into me. "Someone's a bit tired today and he looks so adorably cute," Caleb says, while he ruffles my little brother's hair, getting a little moan from him in the process. Dan gives a big warm smile, while he watches his lover tousling my brother's hair. I think Caleb is trying to gently wake Callum up, but think I know my brother too well for that. He is dead to the world, and I will be surprised if even the doctors who come to move Pierre can get him to wake up. Of course there is always the issue of his mood if anyone does successfully wake him up, and I'm not sure I even want to be around if that happens. With the way Caleb is running his hands through my brother's normally spikey golden blonde hair, it becomes a mess. He looks even more cute and adorable sleeping peacefully with his hair all messed up the way it is. It doesn't take him long to realise that someone is gently trying to rouse him, and he slowly comes back to reality. He is groggy while he is slowly wakes up, but what surprises me is that he isn't pissed off. His mood seems to be stable and calm, which is very unlike him when he is woken up. I'm not sure whether it is because Caleb was really gentle and soothing while he woke him, or whether it is because Alice has really made a huge impact on the boy. I am hoping that it is the latter, because it means real progress in his mental health, but only time will tell. Callum, the little tyke, stretches out almost knocking me in the face while he does it. He then yawns really loudly causing me to giggle. Hearing me chuckling at the way he is waking up, sets him off and he starts cackling away too, still half asleep. It sounds even funnier when he tries to yawn again at the same time he is laughing, which inevitably sets everyone else in the room off in hysterics. Callum gradually awakens properly and regains his composure, well, whatever composure he still has left. I give him a tight hug now that I have stopped laughing too, because I love the little twerp so much and just want to remind him of that. He hugs me back, because after all this is Callum we are talking about, and he seems to love just hugging me for no other reason than it means spending time with me. "Good day sleepy head, I'm so glad you could join us in the land of the living!" a smartass Caleb says to Callum who promptly pokes out his tongue at my friend as a fun form of insult. Caleb mocks being hurt from Callum's rude gesture and then tickles him, not being prepared in the slightest for just how ticklish my brother is. He is in a fit of laughter instantly and thrashes about like he is having a fit. Caleb panics with how badly my little brother is flailing around, because he is scared that either me or Pierre is going to cop an elbow or something. Caleb decides to stop torturing my little brother for our safety. To be honest I was more concerned about getting hurt when Callum was stretching, than I am now while he is having a fit. I know my brother too well, and even in the most violent fit of rage he wouldn't hurt Pierre or me, but while he is still half asleep and waking up anything is possible. Callum calms down now that Caleb has stopped tickling him, but now he has another problem. He jumps off the bed and scurries out of the room as quickly as he can. He is off to the toilet, like he seems to do every time he gets tickled. I'm starting to think that my little brother may have a weak bladder or something, but I don't think it's anything to worry too much over. Almost as soon as Callum has left, the doctors arrive and start getting us ready to be transferred to the children's ward. I'm a little worried, because I don't want Callum to get lost if we are gone before he comes back. Dan picks up on my concerns and tells me that he will wait around for him if need be, but to be honest there was never any chance of losing my little brother, because mum would have waited for him too, but I had temporarily forgotten about her. Callum of course manages to get back before we are moved out of the room, making me feel a bit stupid for worrying so much about him. Pierre just squeezes me in his hug telling me that he understands why I got so worried over my brother. Truth be told Pierre was also just as concerned about Callum as I was, because he has become a little brother to Pierre as well and that's not taking the adoption into consideration. The transfer goes pretty smoothly despite Pierre still being connected to a couple of drips. They are still feeding him painkillers intravenously, but in really low doses now because he is almost at the stage where he doesn't need them at all. Of course he is also still undergoing fluid therapy, where they are intravenously keeping him hydrated, which is extremely important for his recovery because the brain contains a lot of fluids. It takes a while to get us through to the children's ward, but that is to be expected. We have to wade our way through all the other patients, doctors, and visitors as we wind our way through a seemingly endless number of corridors. The worst part is when we meet another patient getting transferred on their bed, because the corridors aren't quite wide enough to fit two beds side by side. When that happens one of us usually has to go into the closest room, which is usually us, because we are the least urgent. It all goes pretty smoothly in those circumstances and we make our way through to the children's ward safely and unscathed. We are then informed that due to the amount of kids in the ward at the moment we won't be getting our own room, which we should get due to Pierre's injuries. Ideally, because Pierre is recovering from brain surgery, the doctors would prefer him to have his own room to aid in the rehabilitation side of things. Also because we are both undergoing counselling, it would also be easier and more private to not have to share, but it isn't going to happen. Due to the amount of other boys rescued from the hotel and their higher than normal amount of child patients the ward is full to capacity, and they aren't willing to place us in a different ward. The hospital is in the process of fixing this problem and is extending the children's ward, but the building process has only just begun. We get wheeled into a smallish room, one that is obviously only supposed to have one kid in it, but due to the shortage of rooms there is already another bed in there. In the bed is a boy of about ten years of age. He is quite cute as well with longish brown hair in a well-kept mullet style. His face is roundish in shape with a small perfectly formed nose separating his sparkling green eyes. He also has the most beautiful thick reddish pink lips, which gleam in the light. The boy has little in the way of freckles or anything, except for one biggish freckle on the right side of his chin. He is lying on the bed with a warm gorgeous smile on his face at seeing us. The top half of his body is exposed with wires connected to his chest for the heart monitor. He is slightly bigger than average, but little of it is fat. He has a pretty solid frame and a gorgeous light brown tan to him, but he definitely doesn't go shirtless too often because his chest is a lot paler than his arms and face. His chest muscles aren't very well defined, due to him still having a bit of baby fat and most likely lack of the right sort of exercise. All in all, the boy is really cute, but Pierre is so much better. Well, that's my opinion and I don't care what anyone else thinks. We are wheeled right up beside the boy, which is when I notice that he has a plaster of some description on his side, in the place where you normally tickle people, which seems to disappear behind him. From that I can tell he has had surgery of some type but I don't know why. As soon as the doctors have set Pierre's equipment back up and have left, the boy starts to chat away. He is speaking in French which is completely understandable, but means I don't understand much of what is being said. In fact there is only one other person in the room who understands what the boy is saying, and funnily enough that is Pierre. Dan and Caleb know even less French than I do, and well, you already know that mum and Callum know bugger all French too. Pierre converses with the new boy for a bit, and I sort of gather that he is trying to find out whether the kid knows any English, which it turns out he doesn't. That's one score for us because it is going to enable us to continue our sessions with Alice in here, since he is not going to understand what we are talking about. On the other hand it is going to be annoying trying to talk with him, because Pierre is going to have to translate everything, but we will just have to deal with that. Of course Pierre asks him the question which is on everyone's mind, which is why is he here? The boy answers my lover, who translates for the rest of us. It turns out that he had a severe kidney infection which resulted in the doctors having to remove it, hence why he has the bandage where he does. The boy says that the first he noticed of it was when he started peeing blood, but things got really serious, quick, and he almost died from it. The good thing for the boy is that it was only the one kidney that got infected, so he should make a full recovery and live a normal life with just the one kidney. The major drawback is that if he has the same problem again his chances of survival are very slim, unless they can get an emergency kidney quickly. With only one kidney left if it happened again then he would have to have a transplant, but getting one at short notice is not an easy task. The boy tells us that his name is Bastian and that he has lived all his life in Nimes. We spend the rest of the afternoon talking, and trying to include the new boy in the conversation as much as we can. It is not easy, but somehow we manage, much to the delight of the boy. He hasn't had anyone to talk to since he has been in here, other than his parents, because his friends haven't come to visit him. Hearing that makes us all feel sorry for him, because there is no way any of us would do that if a friend was in hospital. Dan and Caleb have already proven that by flying in from Paris just to see us, so I really don't understand why his friends couldn't make the effort. All of us talk for a while longer, with Callum and mum also joining in when they can, as well as us still trying to keep Bastian in the loop. After a period of time a couple of nurses come into the room, and indicate to all our visitors that they should leave. Pierre, knowing that I'm going to protest about that, quickly asks the nurses in French why they all have to leave. They tell him it's so that they can give him and Bastian their daily sponge bath, which stops any potential protest from me instantly. I know that Pierre wouldn't be worried in the slightest about having everyone else here while he undergoes his, because he has had a few of them here in the company of others. The concern for us is Bastian, because we aren't sure how he would cope with a whole bunch of strangers being around while he gets cleaned up. I think it could be humiliating enough having Pierre and me in the room, but he hasn't got a choice in that, so I think it is best that everyone does leave, for his sake. Mum and Callum come over and give Pierre and me a kiss and a cuddle, indicating that we won't see them again tonight. Callum as per usual doesn't want to let go of me, and almost has to get wrenched away by mum. His face looks sad and lost while he reluctantly leaves the room with her, because he really does hate not being with me, even when I'm in hospital. In fact, more so when I'm in hospital, because then he wants to keep a constant eye on me to make sure that nothing more happens. Dan and Caleb tell us that they will use the time to get some dinner, making Pierre and me jealous in the process. Then they say that they will be back afterwards to spend a couple more hours with us. Then they follow mum and my little brother out of the room. With everyone gone, the nurses put some sort of sign on the door handle and close the door. I presume the sign says something like do not disturb, or cleaning, or something. I'm not really sure, because it is in French, which I can read worse than I can speak. Once the door is closed, the nurse heads over to the side of Bastian's bed, where the other nurse is waiting. I can see the boy is very reluctant to allow the nurses to remove his robe, and the look on his face tells me that he is shy about us seeing him naked. If the room was designed to be a multi-person room then they would have privacy curtains around each bed, but because this room is only supposed to house one person the curtains haven't been installed in here. Bastian does not want the nurses to sponge bath him one bit, because he had got used to being on his own when this happened, so it never concerned him. Now with two other boys in the room, the kid is even more unsure of himself, even though he knows that one of us is going to have the same thing too. I wish we hadn't transferred wards, because now I have no clue which nurses speak English. "Look, just to help Bastian feel better about things why don't you do me first?" I say to the nurses, hoping like hell that one of them speaks English. At the same time I have got off the bed and removed my hospital gown, before hopping back on the bed beside Pierre. The nurses look a bit miffed with what I have suddenly said and done, making me even less convinced that either of them speak English. Bastian on the other hand, smiles while he watches me de-robe, and I can tell that he is using the opportunity to take a good look at my package. I suppose it is to be expected, and the kid is probably only sizing himself up in comparison to what I have. Knowing that my dickie is pretty small makes me hope that it will encourage Bastian to let the nurses clean him. "But... but... we are only supposed to clean Bastian and... err... um... Pierre isn't it? We aren't supposed to clean you as well!" one of the nurses eventually replies in a heavy French accent, which makes it hard for me to understand her. I understand enough of what she has said to get her drift, and I also confirm to her that she has Pierre's name right, but I know that it is something that needs to be done for Bastian to be comfortable so I will plead my case. "Hold on a minute and we will go see whether it's alright to clean you as well. I know you are just trying to help, but we know that you are physically able to clean yourself, so we will need to get permission. I will explain the situation to my superior, but her word is final, so if she says no, then we can't do it. Okay?" the English speaking nurse says before I have a chance to plead with them. The two nurses have just had a quick consultation, and decided that it is worth a shot, but want to make sure it is alright first. The English speaking nurse then leaves to go and see her superior, while the other nurse goes to get things ready to give me a sponge bath too. I think that they aren't expecting to have any hassles about cleaning me as well, so the other nurse has just gone ahead before being given the okay. I just lie on the bed still completely naked, not trying to cover my dignity, because I want Bastian to understand that nudity is nothing to be ashamed of. I can see that he is constantly trying to take sneak peeks of my package, without trying to make it look obvious. He seems to be becoming more comfortable with the idea, because his body is visibly relaxing, so is much less tense than it was before. Bastian then surprises me, by pulling his sheet down exposing his naked body. Due to the amount of sensors on his body there was no point in putting him in a robe, so he has been naked since we came into the room, but his dignity was covered up by the sheet he had up to his waist. Of course now that he has let everyone see his package, I take a good look at what he has to offer. I must say that his little package is adorably cute. I shouldn't really use the word little, because even though he is younger than me his whole package is about the same size as what I have got, with the major difference being that his skin tone there is a little darker than mine. He is still intact like Pierre and me, with his cute looking foreskin overhanging the head of his dickie by about quarter of an inch, and unfortunately for him, the tube for the catheter coming out from it. All in all he has nothing at all to be ashamed about, because it isn't small when you consider his age, well it can't be because it is the same size as mine. The nurses arrive back to the room together, having been given the green light to give me a sponge bath as well. They look a little shocked and surprised when they enter the room and see Bastian completely exposed. I can tell by the looks on their faces that they are impressed with how quickly we have got him over the issue of being naked, and they are glad for it too, because it makes their job a lot easier. The nurses decide that it will be easier and quicker if they do one of us each, and then Pierre last. With Pierre's head injuries they still want to tread carefully and be as gentle as humanly possible while trying to clean him. They have been told that he is fine and in good health, but they still want to be cautious because he is a new patient for them to look after. Once they have got used to him then things will be a bit different, but until then he is just going to have to put up with the overcautious nurses. The nurse who can speak English decides that it is going to be best if she cleans me, because that way if any problems should arise then I can communicate with her. The other nurse goes over to Bastian's bed so that she can do the same to him. She will be fine with the boy until it comes time to do his backside. She will then need assistance, because she is unable to roll Bastian right over onto his front because of all the electrode cables. It is a difficult task but the two nurses are used to it now, because Bastian has been in here for a good week or so and they are his regular nurses. The nurse looking after me gets to work by dampening the sponge and applying a soap-like substance to it. She then softly and gently starts to massage it into my upper body, but like a moisturiser it doesn't lather up like a soap does. I've had lots of sponge baths through my many visits to the hospital, but up until today's one, I have never enjoyed them very much. I think it's because I wanted to have one today, instead of it being that I had to have one with no choice in the matter. The gentle soothing circular motions of the sponge, just feels so wonderful against my soft hairless skin. I can't believe that I didn't enjoy this more when I've had them in the past. It makes me feel fantastic and totally relaxed, but I know that this would feel so much better if Pierre was doing it for me. The thought, no matter how brief it was, is enough to set my pecker in motion, and before I know it I'm hard as a rock with my glistening cherry red glans exposed to everyone. The nurse doesn't pay my throbbing erection any attention, but it still doesn't stop me from feeling totally humiliated. I mean what is Bastian going to think about me popping a boner right in front of a nurse who is cleaning me? I just hope he doesn't know yet what a dickie is used for, but I suppose given his age he probably has no idea what it's for other than peeing with. The worst part is that the longer the nurse takes massaging my chest, the harder my prick seems to get. It is so hard now that I think it's on the verge of exploding, so I'm really not looking forward to when she cleans it. "Hehe, t'inquiète si elle devient tout dure, ça m'arrive tout le temps quand je reçois une éponge de bain." Bastian says in a cheeky childish but heavily accented voice and cracks up laughing. I have absolutely no idea what he just said, and my confusion is amplified when Pierre starts chuckling away as well. The nurses both blush bright red after the boy says this, making me think that he has said something to them about my boner. The way he keeps looking at it doesn't help me either. "Huh... what...?" I ask a little bewildered, because I have convinced myself that he is making fun of me, when all I am trying to do is help him. "He says don't worry about becoming hard... um... I mean getting an erection, because he gets them all the time when getting a sponge bath," the English speaking nurse tells me, quite flustered with Bastian's comment, because she knows all too well just how true it is. "Ahh... does he really... I mean get boned up when you clean him?" I ask, now realising that he is only trying to help with my embarrassing problem. The nurse just goes even redder and nods her head to tell me that he does get a stiffie when he gets cleaned. The boy seems to know what I said and gives me a big smile. I notice now just how true what he said is, because I look down to his crotch and see him sporting a nice looking 2½ inch boner. I am impressed with how big he gets, because he puts mine to shame even though he is a couple of years younger than me, but I can't help my development so I am not concerned about it. Unlike mine when it gets hard, his foreskin doesn't retract, so the little head is still hidden away under its sheath. Bastian then gropes himself and shakes his hard piece of meat around, just to prove that it is hard, not that I couldn't tell already. Pierre just giggles even more, which in turn sets me off, and I then copy the boy's lead and wiggle my boner around as well. The nurses do their best to ignore our antics and continue to sponge us down, but I can tell that they are extremely uncomfortable with the way us preteen boys are acting in front of them so I decide that I had better stop. I also had another reason for stopping, and that is because I am starting to get those wicked sensations building up in my dickie from playing around with it, and of course getting a nice gentle sponge bath at the same time. The last thing I want to do at the moment is blow my load, because I don't think that the nurse would handle that one tiny bit. She is looking flustered and embarrassed enough with what we had been doing for that to happen on top of it. Bastian sees that I've have stopped playing and decides that he had better stop too, and he apologises to his nurse for his antics after noticing how embarrassed she is. The nurse just gives him a forced smile and tells him that it's alright, because he isn't the first boy who has done that sort of thing. It still doesn't make it any easier on her, but she knows that young boys do have a tendency of showing off their bits in situations like this. The nurse washing me has moved straight from my torso to my legs, making me think that the nurses aren't actually allowed to clean a boy's bit. Well, either that or she is trying to put off cleaning there just hoping that it will deflate before the time comes. I notice that Bastian's nurse hasn't bothered to wait, because she has moved down to the boy's crotch and started cleaning it. She is even more gentle and tender when handling the boy's privates while she gives them a thorough clean. I can also tell that Bastian is enjoying every moment of it, because he is now lying back on his bed, totally relaxed, with a look of bliss plastered on his cute face. The nurse even goes as far as retracting the boy's foreskin and giving his glistening knob a thorough clean, which causes him to release just the softest little moan in pleasure. His acorn shaped head is about the same colour as the rest of his little dickie. What I mean is that there seems to be little colour difference between the different parts of his pecker, unlike mine or Pierre's, because our glans are most definitely a different colour to our shafts and foreskin. I suppose it's probably not that uncommon, but until now I have never noticed this. It might just be because of the distance I am looking at it from, but even so if there is any colour difference it is very subtle. The nurse has to be extra careful when cleaning around Bastian's dick, because she doesn't want to cause him any undue discomfort by disturbing the catheter which is inserted into his pee slit. It really sucks having that thing in there in the first place, let alone when you get a nurse who isn't careful enough when cleaning around it. It is the most uncomfortable and disturbing sensation when they bump or get tangled up in the tube coming out of your dick. The nurses here seem to be very careful, which I am grateful for, because I don't like to see any boy in that discomfort. My nurse is now making her way up my inner thighs, sending strong signals to my hard little prick that she is about to touch it. I try as hard as I can not to think about it, but my dickie still involuntarily twitches in anticipation, like it has a mind of its own. I don't need this at all, because I know that I'm getting far too close to the brink as it is, without my dick seemingly enticing it more. I can feel my whole body in the early stages of a massive climax, because it is all tense and seems to be getting tenser with each passing moment. My breathing has become shallow and laboured, while my little heart pounds away inside my chest. It will be the death of me if I cum in front of the nurses and Bastian, who I know will be asking a lot of questions if that happens. I know that I probably won't be the first person to have an orgasm while getting a sponge bath, but I still don't want it to happen. I feel I have been through enough embarrassing situations to last me a lifetime, so I sure as hell don't want another one. Not here, not now, not ever if I can help it. I just want to be normal for once and not have these things happen to me, but I know that my body has a mind of its own and won't listen, just like a lot of the people who have influenced my life. I am really surprised when the nurse tells me to roll over so that she can do my back, because I had been so deep in thought that I never noticed her giving my now flaccid member a clean. I had been so lost in my thoughts about those who have influenced my life, whether it was for the better, or those who have almost destroyed me, that my boner has deflated and I haven't noticed that the nurse has been washing my prick. I am just so thankful for that because I no longer have to worry about humiliating myself in front of the nurse, or Bastian for that matter. I also realise that it is possible to control my hormones somewhat, by focussing my concentration on something totally different. It has also awakened me to the fact that the more I will my dick to deflate the harder it's going to get. I am hoping that with my newly found revelation I won't have any more embarrassing accidents, well aside from the occasional wet dream, but that can also be taken care of. The nurse is giving me an impatient look because I am taking so long to roll over for her, so I try to bring myself back to reality and flip over. I have been concentrating far too much on all this sudden information that it feels like my head is spinning. I'm also starting to get a little bit of a headache, because I have just figured out so much about things, especially my body, which I had no idea about before. "Nurse, be really careful when cleaning around his butt, especially his bum hole, because his dad raped him when he was younger and as a result has severe psychological problems associated with the region!" Pierre says frantically, once he has noticed that the nurse is about to clean up around my bottom. The nurse stops suddenly and looks up at Pierre alarmingly, because she now isn't sure whether she should proceed or not. I am still in a sort of daze with my mind still trying to filter through all the information I have received, so I have no idea about what is going on in the slightest. The nurse tentatively decides to try and continue, but does so slowly and even more gently to ensure I don't freak out immediately. She figures that if she goes about it slow enough then she can react quickly if I start to show warning signs. I don't even notice while she cleans all over my pale round globes, because my mind is too far away to detect the circular motions of the sponge cleaning my bottom. Thinking that maybe Pierre has overreacted about the whole thing, the nurse decides that it is safe to go further, because she always does a thorough job when she does anything. It is the way she is, so she never does anything half assed. Using her free hand the nurse spreads my cheeks as wide as she can, exposing all the scarring around my butt hole. She grimaces at seeing the damage my father has done to me, but it doesn't deter her. She then gently soaps right down my crack towards the source of most of my pain. I am still not aware that she is doing this, until I feel the sponge approaching the rim of my hole. My body gives an immense involuntary shudder, as I feel the sponge touch my anus. My mind suddenly clears of all thought, before the scenes of that terrible night come flooding back in like a strong storm surge. I can feel the prickling in my eyes as my tears start to form, and drop out from them and dribble down my cheek. I know that I am at that borderline stage of another complete breakdown. The way my body violently shakes from the contact, causes the metal frame of the bed to rattle, creak and groan from the strain, which in turn attracts Bastian's attention towards what is happening with me. The boy had been talking with his nurse, while patiently waiting for my nurse to finish with me, so that she could help to clean his back when it all started unexpectedly. Bastian and the nurse are totally oblivious to what is going on with me, because neither of them understand a word of English, so had no idea about what Pierre had said. Now that they know something is going on, they both have concerned and worried looks on their faces. They both know that something bad has happened, but have no idea what. The boy is the most scared for me, because he has no inclination at all about what is going on. The nurse then realises that it is a psychological problem which my nurse has somehow triggered. The nurse washing me quickly withdraws to try and stop the reaction I'm having. She looks scared shitless because of how suddenly and intensely the reaction came on. Pierre quickly latches onto me and hugs me tightly, hoping that it will stop me from going into complete shock like I usually do. His embrace certainly helps to calm me quicker, but as soon as the nurse withdrew my body started to behave. I think I may slowly be conquering this mental barrier that I have built, ever since I found out the truth about what dad did to me. The nurse had got a long way, further than Pierre was able to last time, before I reacted. I mean it wasn't until the sponge touched my anus that I realised what was happening. It is a remarkable improvement from last time, mainly because yet again I was thinking about something totally unrelated. I am starting to cotton on to how vital this is for me, because it might help me out a lot. The only problem is trying to keep my mind occupied, not only that but I almost feel that it might not be solving the problem, just masking it. I'm not too sure whether it is the miracle cure that I'm after, so I figure I better question Alice about it next time I have a chance. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," the English speaking nurse says frantically, because she thinks that she has inadvertently hurt me. "It's alright, it really is. I get this sort of reaction when I'm touched there, because of the horrid memories of my past that it triggers," I tell the nurse, trying to ease her fears. I think it works, because she at least knows now that she didn't cause any physical harm. Instead she knows that she accidently triggered a mental reaction, which I seem to have fully recovered from. I smile at her reassuringly, emphasising that I am perfectly fine and have completely recovered from my reaction. Pierre is still clinging onto me generating those wonderful feelings. I give him a calming hug back, because I know he doesn't quite realise yet that I am fine and nothing further is going to happen. I don't need to say anything reassuring to Pierre, because he knows now that I am fine. We don't have to say a lot to each other about how we are feeling, because we know, instinctively I suppose, all about the other. I can feel when he is upset, as much as I feel when he is happy. I know he can feel my emotions as well, but I can't really explain how I know, because I don't understand it myself; I just know. Just to confirm to him that that I am fine I give him a quick tender peck on the lips. I suddenly become aware of a little boy chuckling, so I reflexively look around to see who is there. Between everything that has gone on, I have totally forgotten that we are sharing the room with Bastian, who is still sniggering away at seeing us kiss. I admit that I'm now embarrassed by my desire to kiss Pierre so much, because I had overlooked the fact we have a young boy in the room who doesn't know us all that well. The nurses on the other hand are fully aware of our situation, because it is all covered in our files. The nurses decide that they should finish giving the boy his sponge bath, in order to avoid him asking any awkward or embarrassing questions. So the nurse who was cleaning me puts the sponge into the water, so that she can help turn Bastian onto his side. Both nurses gently turn the boy onto his side, ensuring they take extreme care so that they don't burst his stitches open from where he had his kidney removed. They do this expertly, because they have had to do it many times before. Bastian is now on his side facing us, with a huge toothy smile plastered on his face. It isn't the only part of him that is excited either, because his is still sporting a raging hard on which looks so gorgeous on the cute wee boy. His green eyes sparkle with happiness and exuberance. He seems to be so full of life and is generally a happy go lucky child, who just warms the room up with his energy and enthusiasm. I can tell that he isn't judgemental, because despite what he has seen Pierre and me doing, he is yet to say a word to us about it. I can see the curiosity burning away in him, so I know that once the nurses have left he is going to be full of questions. At the same time I know he just wants to understand about us and there are no negative connotations about the way we are together. He doesn't seem to be concerned that we are both boys and sharing a bed, not to mention that he has seen us hugging and me giving my lover a kiss. It doesn't bother him; in fact he seems more fascinated with us because of our relationship. The nurse that cleaned me supports Bastian in order to prevent him rolling back over, while the other nurse makes short work of cleaning the boy's backside. It only takes her a couple of minutes, before she helps to lower his body back onto his back. With the boy lying back on the bed one of the nurses then pulls up his sheet, hiding away his rock hard boner. Well, sort of hiding it, because the sheet is pretty flimsy so a clear tent can be seen poking up, but he isn't concerned in the slightest about it any more which is a good thing considering how shy he was before. The nurses then replenish the water, because it is starting to get too cold to give Pierre his wash-down with. Almost as soon as the nurses have left the room, Bastian starts up asking questions. Pierre answers them for him, while also translating the whole conversation to me, so that I know what is being said. The nurses are gone for a good five to ten minutes, which Bastian uses every second of. The more he asks about our relationship the more intrigued he becomes. He has no problem in the slightest that we are gay, even though he has heard all the schoolyard talk about it, because deep down he is asking himself if he is gay too. It turns out that he is a little older than I thought, because the boy tells us that he is much closer to eleven than he is to ten. Bastian tells us about his fascination with boys, because he knows that he won't get any reprisals from us. He also feels very comfortable being with us, because as he put it, he feels a good vibe radiating out from the two of us. All the while the conversation is going on I can see the boy subconsciously stroking his erection through the sheet. He seems to be getting more and more worked up while the conversation goes on, because there is just something about openly discussing his potential sexuality with us that seems to excite him. I think that it is more that he feels totally comfortable and at ease with us, which is causing him to absentmindedly stroke his pole. I am convinced that he doesn't even know that he is doing it, because his whole focus is most definitely on us and the conversation at hand. His body suddenly gives off a tremendous shudder from pleasure, which suddenly makes the boy aware of what he is doing. He gives us a sheepish look as he pulls his hand away from his crotch, before he apologises for being so rude in front of us. He tells us that he can't help it at times, because it has always been something he has done when he was nervous, well at least when no one could see him anyway. We tell him that it is quite alright and he needn't apologise to us for it, because we both are fully aware now that he wasn't jerking off, it was more just a nervous fondle. The nurses re-enter the room, putting an abrupt end to our conversation, because Bastian doesn't want them to know what we were talking about. He knows that being so young and potentially gay is not something to advertise, because of all the repercussions that could come about from it. The boy has a strong feeling that he is at least bi-sexual if not gay, but makes sure to hide it as best he can, so doesn't say anything more about it while the nurses are in the room. Bastian was scared to discuss the possibility of being gay with anyone because he knows they will think he is too young to take seriously. He found his comfort with us, because after all we aren't too much older than he is. He also figures that one of us may have known at his age, which is right, because I had a gut feeling when I was just shy of turning eleven that I am gay. The conversation has lifted a big weight off his shoulders, because he knows it is alright to be that way, but most importantly he has someone to talk to if he ever has any issues. Bastian's attention then turns to the same thing that I am focused on, which is watching my sexy lover Pierre, get his sponge bath. The nurses lower the sheet which is still covering him, revealing his gorgeous naked body to me and Bastian. The boy seems just as fascinated in my boyfriend as I am, and he takes his time to examine every inch of his smooth hairless body. I am wishing that I am one of the nurses right now, because I would love to give Pierre his sponge bath. It would be the best job ever and I would be ever so gentle and tender while doing it for him. I'm pretty sure the nurses would let me, but I'm unsure whether they are allowed and I don't want to get them into any trouble, so I let the opportunity pass me by. I'm not disappointed though, because I get to lie back and enjoy watching the nurses do it for me. They are very professional in what they do, which is to be expected, but they both also seem to enjoy doing their job, even the more laborious jobs like this. I know that a lot of people wouldn't want to spend their day going around sponge bathing other people, because it is hard work and not only that, but a lot of people think it's gross. I don't know why because I think I could happily go around cleaning those who are unfortunate enough to end up here. I can see Bastian trying to squirm around to get the best view possible when the nurses get down to cleaning Pierre's beautiful package. I'm not sure what to think about the boy because he is really fascinated in watching the whole cleaning process. He isn't trying to get a good view just because the nurses are cleaning Pierre's now rigid dickie; he is shuffling around because the nurses blocked his view of what they are doing. He was trying to watch the nurse give me a sponge bath just as intently as he is now. I don't know whether he just wants to see how the nurses go about things because it is something that he is interested in for the future, or whether he is enjoying watching us get bathed and he is taking in our whole bodies during the sponge bath. It could be both at the same time I suppose, but either way he seems totally enthralled watching the whole thing. I get hard instantly watching the nurses cleaning my lover's gorgeous dick and balls, and observing in fascination as it rises to attention from the gentle tender handling. His dickie seems to be approaching the 2½ inch mark, when you take the added length generated by his foreskin out of the equation. The girth of his shaft is also getting bigger, so his bulbous glans is not standing out so much under its sheath. It seems to be growing pretty quickly making me wonder whether he is in the throes of puberty as well. His whole package seems to be increasing in size; even his balls are a little plumper than they used to be and definitely in the process of dropping, like mine are. I sort of wonder how much longer it is going to be before he is going to be able to cum, well, if he can't already because it has been a little while since I have made him orgasm, and I know how suddenly it can start to happen. I wish like anything that I could find out, but with the catheter inserted down his dickie I know that isn't going to happen for a while. Watching the whole process of them cleaning Pierre is making my hard pecker start to throb, begging me for release, especially after it never got its release before. I am still lying on top of the covers so everyone in the room can see my raging boner, but the nurses are too focussed on cleaning Pierre to care. My lover has seen my throbbing erection, but is more just enjoying the lovely sponge bath he is receiving to take much notice. Bastian on the other hand has most definitely noticed my problem, and has a bit of a sly smile on his face, which seems to get bigger every time he sees my pecker twitch. The boy does not make things any easier on me when he openly gropes himself through the sheets. Seeing him do that makes my boner twitch even more and makes me so want to reach out and take hold of it, but with the nurses just there it is not a good idea to play with myself. The boy makes my life even worse when he pulls back his sheets, takes hold of his still rigid dickie and gives it a couple of strokes. He doesn't have the nurses to worry about, because they have their backs to him, which also gives him enough time to cover himself back up when they start to turn around. The kid has the evilest grin on his face while he continues to torment me by stroking on his own rigid plank. I am sure at this stage that he knows about jerking off by the way he is teasing me. He is giving his rock hard member slow gentle strokes, ensuring his foreskin retracts to expose his now pink coloured glans on every down stroke, before covering it back up again. He is doing it slowly and deliberately, ensuring he teases me to the max without giving himself too much physical pleasure. The last thing the boy wants is to cum himself, so he makes sure he doesn't get too carried away. I am feeling right on the brink watching Bastian openly play with himself, but also the excitement caused from seeing Pierre get a sponge bath. It is just so difficult to keep control and not erupt like I know I want to. I think about running off to the toilet, but I'm in a new ward so not completely sure where it is. The other problem is that I'm naked and I know that just the lightest touch from my hospital gown while I put it on will trigger the climax. With my heart pounding away in my chest, and my breathing shallow and laboured, I am really surprised that no one seems to have noticed how close I am to cumming, well no one except the teasing little shit on the other bed, Bastian. I can also feel sweat seeping out of my forehead, but it isn't in any great quantities, because I am not actually undergoing any physical exertion. The feelings welling up in me are tremendous, and they cause my body to give off the occasional involuntary quiver. The nurses finish up cleaning Pierre's front half, so both of them gently roll him onto his side so that he is now facing me to enable them to clean his backside. The nurse that was washing Bastian is the one who supports my lover in that position so that the other can clean his back. It is great being able to stare into his gorgeous hazel eyes again, which seem to have an extra twinkle in them now. I can't quite work out why, but I don't care too much because I am too lost in them. My body trembles violently as I get an explosion of tremendous pleasure rip through my frame like a runaway freight train, when Pierre's hand reaches down and takes hold of my hard as steel throbbing member. I gasp loudly from the sheer blissful feelings surging through me, while my body tenses stiff as a board, lifting my butt clear off the bed. My dickie erupts spastically in Pierre's hand blowing a small glob of watery thin cum arcing up in the air before landing on me just short of my neck. That is followed shortly after by another smaller glob which only reaches halfway up my abdomen, before the rest of my small sample of cum spews out the end and dribbles down onto my lover's hand. I am unable to take in a breath of air because of the powerful sensations coursing through my body, which also seem to stop my heart momentarily. The climax lasts only a brief period of time, before I come crashing back down onto the bed, gasping for as much air as I can get. My body is still quivering uncontrollably from the intensity of the orgasm, while my mind is flooded with euphoria, almost like I'm drugged up. I am high, well above cloud nine, but I can still feel Pierre as he tenderly caresses my stomach. I love being in this state of bliss and I wish I could be here forever, but I know the feelings will fade to a point. I always have those incredible sensations my lover generates in me, which in a lot of ways are actually nicer than those generated by an orgasm. The two combined though is like wow, unbelievable and impossible to describe, but there is no better feeling in the world, and that is where I am right now. "Wow, il peut gicler déjà!" Bastian exclaims excitedly. "Well, it looks like I'm going to have to clean you up again young man," the English speaking nurse says, at almost the same time as Bastian passes his comment, once I have recovered enough to comprehend what is going on. The nurses are not bothered in the slightest by me having an orgasm right in front of them, because, for some reason I think they had sort of been expecting it. I sort of wonder whether it is quite common with boys my age and a little older, so the nurses may have seen it plenty of times before. I don't know, but they don't seem fussed about what has happened which is good for me, because it saves a lot of embarrassment. "Um... yeah, oops... sorry...! What did Bastian say?" I ask groggily to anyone willing to listen. "Hehe, Bastian was impressed that you can squirt, as he put it," Pierre chuckles in response, unperturbed by the nurses standing right there. The nurses finish cleaning Pierre, including cleaning up the cum which is all over his hand that he had on my dickie when I came. Then they come back over to me and quickly clean up the mess I have made. The stuff on my chest was fine, but they seem to like torturing me when they clean my pecker. They must know how hypersensitive my glans is from my climax, so they ensure to torment me as much as they can while they clean me up. I am trying my best not to thrash about on the bed while they clean up my dick, but the sensations are so intense that I can't physically stop myself. They take their sweet time cleaning my glans, trying to make me endure as much punishment as they can before they finally stop, and make a quick inspection to ensure they got all my cum. I am sure they were doing that deliberately, almost like a punishment for making a mess of myself, but I couldn't help it and if it wasn't for Pierre grasping it I might have held on. "I hope you liked your punishment, we do it to all the naughty boys," the English speaking nurse says mockingly once they have finished cleaning up again. "Look, don't worry about it in the slightest. We are used to it with boys usually a bit older than you, but I am quite impressed, because normally they ejaculate when we are cleaning their penises, so you lasted a long time!" the nurse then says to me in a complimentary tone of voice, making me gush a bit in pride, because I know that it must be a good thing for her to mention it. The nurses then collect all their gear and leave the room; this time we know they won't be back for a while at least. Bastian starts straight back up once they have left, but this time I know he is talking about something totally different to what he was before. He now wants to know all about the stuff which erupted from my dick when I came, as well as explaining that he already knows how to make himself get an orgasm. He tells us all about walking in on his thirteen year old brother and catching him jerking off, so he made his brother teach him what he was doing. What really caught Bastian by surprise is that he had never seen anyone cum before, because his older brother is still shooting dry. While we are talking away Bastian is yet again absent-mindedly stroking his dick through the sheet, which he covered himself in again once the nurses had finished cleaning Pierre. Since he popped a boner when getting a sponge bath, the boy has been hard as rock and it hasn't deflated in the slightest. I think it must be getting to the stage where he just needs to get it over and done with, instead of constantly teasing it. "Pierre, can you tell Bastian to just jerk off instead of playing with himself!" I say abruptly, interrupting the conversation, but I am a little sick of seeing him continuously fondling himself. I think Pierre is a little sick of it too, because I don't have to ask him twice. He translates what I have said, and adds his own little bit to it, in order to keep Bastian at ease and comfortable with us. He sort of gives us a funny look, almost like he is saying `really you don't mind?' Then without a second thought, he pulls off his covers to expose his gorgeous naked body again. He catches both Pierre and I off guard because we had thought that he would just jerk off under the sheet, instead of where anyone can see him, so I think that we may have allowed the boy to get a little too comfortable around us. Oh well, there's not a lot we can do about it now. I'm actually starting to get used to it, because of Callum and Manuel. The way they play around with each other with us around has sort of made me forget that this sort of behaviour should be done in private. I suppose though, that this is about as private as Bastian will get, until he is healthy enough to be able to get out of bed and walk around again, so he has no choice but wank to in front of us. Having a sheet over you can be annoying as well, especially for that sort of activity, because Pierre complained about the sheet after getting me off the other day, so for ease in what he is doing he has lost the sheet. Bastian by now is pounding away furiously on his hard piece of meat, and sweat is pouring out of his forehead and streaming down his face like little rivers. The main issue the boy has is that he has to be careful not to dislodge the catheter, because it will cause him lots of discomfort if he starts to pull it out accidently. It seems to be of no concern to the boy, as he continues to pound on his hard little prick like a madman. I can tell that Bastian is getting close to that awesome explosion of ecstasy, because his body is starting to tense up and give off the occasional tremendous quiver. He is not breathing as heavily as he was before either, and seems to just be taking short sharp breaths. I know that it is only going to be a matter of moments before his climax takes hold of his body, which will hopefully spell the end of him fondling himself for a while. For Bastian, his climax comes moments too late, due to the door suddenly opening up and the nurse delivering dinner catching him in the act. He is too far into it to stop with the sudden intrusion, but getting seen pounding his meat set him off quicker. His balls suddenly contract right up inside his body when the nurse comes in. I am fascinated watching that, because his balls literally disappear. His body tenses wickedly causing his back and butt to lift off the bed as the explosion of pleasure rips through him. "Ahh... Ahhhh... Ahhhhhh baiser!!!" Bastian grunts loudly, as his orgasm surges out from his madly twitching pecker and through the rest of his frame, causing his body to quiver from the ecstasy coursing through his veins. His dick pulsates furiously, trying to pump his non-existent cum from his balls. The nurse glows bright red seeing Bastian in the throes of his orgasm, because it was the last thing she expected to walk in on. The boy crashes back onto the bed gasping for air, and then returns quickly back to reality shortly after. The boy's recovery is incredible, but I think it is brought on by the embarrassment of having been caught, because he quickly covers himself up and tries not to make eye contact with the nurse. His face is red, but not from embarrassment. Well, if it is I can't tell, because it was already red and sweaty from the exertion he has put himself under. The nurse on the other hand is bright red from embarrassment, and hands out the plates quickly so she can leave the room as soon as possible. She is in such a rush that she almost spills Pierre's dinner all over him, but somehow manages to save it from the brink of toppling. Otherwise she is in and out like a flash leaving us to giggle away at what has happened. Bastian even starts to chuckle away at what he has just been caught doing, because it was either that or cry. He can see the funny side of it though, but knows that next time he had better leave it till after dinner. We all eventually get back in control of ourselves and start to eat the horrid sloppy mess that has been served to us. Pierre has exactly the same meal today, indicating that the doctors have allowed him back onto full solids. The food is horrible at best, and there isn't all that much of it, but we all eat what we have been given with minimal fuss. Bastian finishes his food first, because he has been here the longest so has got used to the sloppy mess we get served up, but it doesn't mean he likes it any more than we do. Quite the opposite, but he has learned to eat it as quickly as possible to get the torment over with, and it seems to work. With dinner finished and the plates set aside for a nurse to gather up later, we set about talking again. It is really awkward trying to converse with Bastian, because I only speak English and he only speaks French, which makes Pierre the middle man having to translate everything that is said. He does a wonderful job of it, and still somehow stays in the conversation himself, but I do feel sorry for him having to make sure Bastian and me understand each other. I know, I know, I really have to learn French, especially seeing as by the sounds of things we are soon going to be living over here in France. I have been trying to pick up the language, but I am finding it a real struggle. I don't why I am struggling to pick up the language, because even with my lack of schooling, due to me not paying attention, the English language is still a strong point of mine. Even with the fact I have not paid attention in school, so I am now lagging severely behind most kids my age, my vocabulary and reading skills are well above average for my age. I effectively self-taught myself how to read, because when dad was drunk I would lock myself in a bedroom, if I could anyway, with Callum, and I would spend the whole night reading to him. I used to just read any book to him, because at the end of the day all it was to do was keep his mind off our hostile father. Sometimes I would just read him kids' books, others were proper novels, and occasionally I would read to him from one of the many non-fiction books we had in our bookcase. It all depended on whether there were any books in our rooms or not. If there weren't I just grabbed the first book I could off the bookshelf and read from it. As a result of all this I learned a huge amount about the language, so I can speak very well if I have to, but I also read at an adult level. I could probably write pretty well too, but my hand writing is non-existent and my printing isn't much better. This is why I can't believe that I am struggling so much to pick up French, because after all I pretty much taught myself English and did a damn good job at that. Our conversation is interrupted momentarily by the arrival of Dan and Caleb. They pretty much join straight into the conversation because we are just talking randomly, so about nothing personal which they might not have a clue about. The conversation is totally unconstructive, just typical boy chatter. Pierre is having an extremely hard time of it now, because he is still trying his hardest to keep Bastian in the loop. I feel sorry for Pierre because he is having a hard time translating, due to the increased number of people. Bastian soon decides that he is probably best to leave us to our guests, because he knows that he is hindering Pierre's ability to join in the conversation properly. This makes us feel even worse, because the boy is so warm and bubbly and is a highlight of the conversation, even if he can't speak English. But we can't convince Bastian that he is more than welcome to continue talking with us, because he has his mind already made up. He ignores us all and turns his head away from us and closes his eyes to try to go to sleep. We decide to tone down our talking and give the boy the respect he deserves, to allow him to sleep. Surprisingly he has no trouble at all falling asleep, even with so many people in the room. I am sort of pleased, because I don't feel guilty about not involving him in the conversations any more. We converse between ourselves for a while, being conscious all the time not to make too much noise, because we don't want to wake Bastian. I keep thinking about asking Dan and Caleb what I need to ask them, but the time still doesn't feel right. I know I can't keep putting it off or I will never get the answer I desperately need, but I am scared. I decide that this point of time is no good because we are on totally the wrong subject line, but I have made up my mind that I need to ask it tonight. Slowly but surely I slowly swing the conversation towards where I need it to go. It takes a while but I get it somewhere near where I want it, but I am still feeling awkward about asking them. They are the only ones who can answer my question though, so I know I'm going to have to ask them before it's too late. I struggle to get up the nerve to do it, which isn't helped by the conversation we are having constantly changing subjects. Every time I have myself prepped to ask, the subject changes to something inappropriate to ask what I need to. With each setback my confidence dwindles, making it harder for me to ready myself. I have to ask though, because it is important and something I really need to know about, but I'm shit scared that the answer won't be what I want to know. "Sorry guys, but we better get going because it's getting late," Dan says suddenly, making me realise just how long I have put off asking what I need to. Dan and Caleb then start to get themselves ready to go, while I am still contemplating whether I should ask them now, or leave it till later. The main problem with later is that I could run into the same issues, or I might not get a good opportunity again. While I'm still wrestling with my mind, the boys are heading towards the door on their way back to the hotel they are staying in, so I know that if I don't act now the opportunity will be gone. "Shit...! Wait...! I really need to ask you something, if it's alright with you of course?" I call out to them just as they are about to disappear. They turn around and come back into the room, which I am hoping is a good sign. "Of course it's alright, feel free to ask us anything!" Dan replies, once they are back in the room. "Have you guys ever... um... well... um... you know... done it?" I mutter as my nerves fail me. I feel so embarrassed about asking them about this, and I now just want to find myself a hole and bury myself in it. "Huh...? What...? What are you talking about?" Dan replies; he is completely baffled by my question. Caleb has the same puzzled look on his face too, since he can't work out what I am trying to ask either, because neither of them are thinking along the right lines. I don't know whether I can say what I am referring to, because I feel like enough of a pervert as it is. "Sex...! Josh was asking you about sex," Pierre says a little bluntly, but taking the heat off me after what must have been an eternity of awkward silence. He knows exactly what I asked and also knows why I asked it, because he realises that this is the biggest obstacle we have left for me to overcome. "Yeah we have and it was great!" Caleb answers enthusiastically, because he has missed the point to why I asked the question. I don't blame him, because he only found out the truth the other day and it is probably yet to sink in properly. "Caleb, you missed the point...! Yes Josh, we have had sex and I know why you asked. You don't have anything to worry about, because I can tell that Pierre will never force anything on you, but most importantly he won't hurt you. It is a magical moment the first time you do it, and I know that despite you having been raped it is still going to be just as special to you. You don't need to try and rush things either, because you will know when you are ready, trust me on that, and it might be sooner than you think," Dan tells me reassuringly. Dan is so level headed about things like this, which is probably a sign of his age and maturity, because he is older than all of us. He has answered all my questions without me even having to ask them, which I am so relieved about because I know that I would have found it awkward trying to get them to understand what I am asking. Caleb, as I thought, had forgotten about me getting raped, because I could see his brain suddenly click, when Dan mentioned it. He looks a little annoyed at himself for forgetting such an important piece of information, and I can see that he is disappointed with the way he answered my question now. He is muttering to himself under his breath because he is really peeved with himself. "Thank you for answering that so well, I appreciate it, because I know it is a rather personal subject. Caleb, don't be cross with yourself because you have helped in so many other ways, and it doesn't always need to be you who does everything. I am truly grateful to have both of you as friends, and I know Pierre feels the same. You have helped us out heaps, and I only hope that one day I can repay your kindness," I tell them from the bottom of my heart. I climb out of bed and head over to the two boys and give them a big warm loving hug, to say thanks for everything they have done for us. I really do love the two boys as the best friends I have ever had in my life, and I'm not afraid to show it to them either. I give them both a little peck on the cheek to thank them even more, leaving them blushing a little from it. It wasn't something they expected, but both did enjoy, because they both also give me a little peck on the cheek. It feels so good to have such warm loving people to call friends and I feel so blessed to have them in my life. They have to be the two most wonderful people on the planet after Pierre of course. They are so generous and caring, and an absolute pleasure to be around. I endeavour to be as good as them, because they have helped out so many people without ever expecting anything in return. One day I know I will get to help them, and I will do the best I can to repay all the love and kindness they have shown Pierre and me. I release Dan and Caleb from my embrace to allow them to go to their hotel room to get some sleep. It is getting really late now and I can feel my own slumber beckoning me. Before they leave they both give Pierre a hug and a little kiss as well, because they want him to feel like he is just as much their friend as I am. It makes me want to be even more like them, because they treat everyone equally and try not to leave anyone out, no matter what barriers are in their way. The two boys their say their goodbyes for the second time this evening, and leave for the comfort of a nice hotel bed. I clamber back into bed and snuggle up nice and tight to my beautiful lover, and lie their gazing into his bright sparkling hazel colour eyes. I press my lips against his and give him a nice tender loving kiss, before we both drift off into the land of nod. ************ Comments are always welcome at (pennywise3636@gmail.com). Please keep all comments clean. If possible please kick in a few bucks at the Nifty Website, to keep it up and running. The site puts in a lot of effort and work so that we all have a place to come and contribute or read some fine stories.