WHAT THE HELL
A LOVE STORY OF SORTS OR PERHAPS THE MUSINGS AND RAMBLINGS OF A YOUNG BOYS MIND.
Jack is a thirteen year-old English school boy.
He's tough and for all the world an `alpha-male' however something happens that changes his perception of life.
He tries to diary his thoughts in an effort to come to terms with his feelings.
No graphic sex is depicted although references to his sexual feelings and desires are portrayed.
A lot of bad language features but nothing that unfortunately isn't unusual in playgrounds these days.
If this sort of material is not to your taste or if it's illegal for you to access such work, - please leave now.
Comments and observations are welcome and should be addressed to the author.
Oh fuck it! How do I do this.
I need to give it a go but how?!
Talk to Samantha, -- yeah fucking right I will! Silly little cow will be asking me why I want to know and there's no pissing chance I'm going to ask my poxy sister, now is there!
She'll start off like "De-ra di-ar-y".
Fucking wanker! Hey! There's a question they've not covered in sex-ed?
Can girls like 'wank'?
Not sure I care really. -- I bloody do! I've know for like years and years. I must have been at like least 10!
Oh shit, - and today. -- Really got to do this.
If I ask nicely computer, - will you fire up without me having to kick the crap out of you first? -------, oh you sweet thing! You're a babe just like...
Why can't Mum and Dad buy me a fucking system that starts without me having to light the wick under it first?
MONDAY NOVEMBER 9 2009
Oh No?! Samantha? All is forgiven! ---- No I don't mean it, - alright perhaps you get a stay of execution if I can do this, ok?
`My name is Jack. Any reference to `Lives in a bottle and the label's black' will be met with a seriously broken nose.
Not 13 and a bit `cos I was only 13 two weeks ago.
I'm a seriously nice person according to me. My dad sometimes calls me a pillock when I muck something up but like I'm bothered?
I'm really good looking too or that's what I tell myself in the mirror every morning when I wake up feeling like shit through lack of sleep because this pissing computer don't work properly and I spend half of my `beauty-sleep time' persuading it gently to offer up some sort of a service?
No. To be truthful, I'm just average. -- Normal if you like.
I've never aspired - , hey nice word! Where did that come from! -- Aspired to be much else. -- Get through the day, - see if I can pull some bird or other, normally -- no wrong!! Never with any success.
Who was the twatt who said the fun is in the chase?! Not in my book it ain't! Getting laid is what I always believed was the `fun bit'!
Hells teeth, I'm 13 already and never come close to scoring! I don't believe in God anymore `cos he'd of pointed me in the direction of available pussy by now if he had ever listened to my prayers.
Anyhow, what's all this about the immaculate conception rubbish?
As I understand it, - Mary, - you know the one, - donkey,- stable and cradle shit got banged up and she never felt a fucking thing!
Now that can't have been much to write home about!
"Hey Mum,- hey Dad! Guess what? I'm in the pudding club and never felt a thing. ----- No I wasn't stoned! How can you think such a thing! It was God.
He must have bonked me when my mind was on something else. -- Oh and one other thing, - it's going to be a boy and will be the saviour of all mankind!"
"No I fucking told you, - I've been off crack for like two weeks already! -- maybe?"
I personally recon Joseph has some serious questions to answer, --- lucky bastard!
Guess there's something out there though.
I'm just a stroppy kid but even I realise, - kind of when I look up at the stars, -all of this wasn't some sort of a fucking accident.
Shit! I really don't want to do this!
I'm going to end where I wanna start next time if my `sweet little computer' will play.
I'm in love.
Seriously in love!
Fuck's sake! I'm in love with another boy.
I don't need this, - I don't want this, - I want today never to have happened but... I want to live it all over again!
I'll give you one more chance!
I need help here you twatt!"
Please post any comments to the author.