WHAT THE HELL.
Always believing himself to be `alpha-male', this thirteen year old boy finds himself falling hopelessly in love with another boy one year his junior.
This story follows his doubts, fears, feelings and emotions as he documents then in diary form.
This piece is not overly sexual, - written in diary-form, it can't be however as it progresses, I plan for it to be erotic.
If you would like to express your views or wish to comment, please feel free to contact me, - Andy, - at
Thursday November 12th 2009
This morning was well difficult.
Went to cycle to school only to find the front tyre was flat which was a bit of a shit.
I tried pumping it up but the air pissed out as fast as I shoved it in so that means I'm going to have to cosy up to my old man and see if I can get him to shell out for a new inner tube.
Anyhow I got fucking soaked on the way to school and I was late. Good job I had Geog first period with Mr Easton.
He didn't bollock me or nothing which was good but he made me go change into my PE kit so my uniform could dry out on the radiator.
When I got back to class there was only one chair free, ---- and this is just like so fucking embarrassing!
Yeah you got it.
I had to sit next to `him'!
Mr Easton told me to go and sit next to Simon!!!! Shit, I nearly died! I dunno how my legs took me there and Simon just looked at me from my feet to my head and gave me a big smile which could have like melted a polar ice cap!
Here I am, dressed in a pair of gym shoes, shorts and a singlet shirt, - fuck-all else, - no undies or socks even and Simon is eyeing me up! I recon I turned fifty-thousand shades of red and I was like just rooted to the spot!
Then he just sorta said `Aren't you going to sit down then?' in that lovely musical voice.
I did, - but fuck knows how.
He kept on sneaking a peek at me as well, -- mind you so was I, -- sneaking a peek at him I mean. I didn't stop blushing for the whole of the lesson!
Then the final humiliation. He leaned over to pick up summat off the floor and his leg touched mine! He did say sorry ok but didn't seem in any fucking panic to pull it away and yeah, - I popped a stiffy and the fucker wouldn't go down??! Not no way would it! The last ten minutes of class was the worst ten of my entire pissing life!
Imagine the scene. Here's me in just a pair of gym shorts and sporting a permanent fucking hard-on!
Mr Easton dismissed the class and I just sat there, no chance in hell I was going anyplace!
Simon, - I really do like that name, - well he kinda got up and said `You staying there all day or what!'
I told him I'd got a bit of a problem and the fucker told me he'd noticed. -- The bastard!!
Anyhow, he gave me his jacket to wear and like told me if anyone asked, he's given it me `cos I was cold. That was nice of him wasn't it?
We walked together as far as the bogs and I told him I had to sorta sort stuff out.
Cheeky cunt told me he thought that was a wise move and not to mess up his jacket!
Anyhow, - didn't take long, - hardly fucking touched it and that was me!
He was waiting outside and I gave him his jacket back.
Can you bloody believe it? He checked it over for any tell-tale `deposits'! Oh yeah, then he checked me out and told me my `profile' was ok now!
I told him to piss off! Yeah well I did thank him an-all!
Then he asked me if I wanted to sit next to him next geog!
I told him yeah why not but only so long as he didn't give me anymore woodies!
Shouldn't have said that really `cos maybe now he thinks I fancy him or summat.
Too fucking late now.
Friday November 13th 2009
Morning. 7.00 am.
Friday the thirteenth! I wonder what nasty surprises the Gods have lined up for me today?
Good news, - my old chap said he'd buy me a new inner-tube and tyre for my bike! Holy crap!! -- Still won't give me a lift to school though but `least it's not fucking raining today.
I've got special PE later today on account of `cos I can't swim. I don't mind. Recon it's better to mess about in the water than to bust your balls doing circuit training or whatever.
Gotta go have some brekki and get my cute arse to the lunatic asylum.
Wow! What a fit day!!
I got top marks in a bloody spelling test! I never get top marks in fuck-all!
Then I gets home to find `Buffalo Bill', - that's my old man by the way `cos his names Bill. -- I know, I know, - fucking childish!
Anyway he's like not only bought the tyre and tube but the old scrote has actually fitted them for me! -- I recon he's going down with something well nasty.
Anyhow, as if that wasn't enough, - here's the totally bloody, awesomely fantastical bit!
Like I'd just finished changing after another totally fruitless attempt at getting my tootsies off the bottom when Simon, - be still my beating heart, - wanders in.
Fucking good job he'd not come in ten minutes earlier! But I digress.
Anyhow he like asks me what I'm doing there so I kinda tell him that I've got about as much pissing buoyancy as brick and I have to take an extra PE.
Well I thought he might take the piss but he never.
Then he goes on about some shit like being a good swimmer and has a silver medal for life saving and stuff. I mean, like how cool is that!
Then he tells me summat else!
His folks have a pool! A fuck-off big indoor, heated fucking pool!
Then he says, if I wanted to like swing by his gaff over the weekend he'd try and help me, - like he recons it's not pissing rocket science and everyone can swim and it's just being shown like properly and stuff!
Well, of course I told him no fucking way chap!!
The fuck I did! I could have kissed him I could!!
Anyhow, I'm scooting round to his about ten tomorrow morning!!!!!!!
No I'm not excited, - I'm a bit fucking nervous actually?
I'm going to have to wear `Speedo's' or something that will keep my bits under control, you know, - just in case and I mustn't bloody swear, not that I do at home in front of the old folk or anybody else for that matter, - just at school and to my poxy computer. -- Oh yes, and Samantha the bitch!
I'd better try and get some shut-eye but I don't know how successful I'm going to be, I've more butterflies in my stomach than you can shake a fucking stick at.
Hey God? Listen up please?
Do you recon I'm a fucking poof?
I don't know if I want to be a queer?
Saturday November 14th 2009
Morning 8-00 AM
SHIT they're tight!
Been a while since I've worn these.
Whatever. They'll do the business `cos it feels as if my twig and berries are in a pissing plaster cast.
Nice colour though. I kinda like yellow, - they go nicely with last summers tan.
Fuck! I'm even starting to write `poofy'!
Amazing though last night! I slept like a log, - not that I know how logs sleep you understand but it was well fit! Didn't even get a hard-on!
Hey. I wonder if that's a sign of going like, gay. -- You know, - not getting it up in the night?
Whatever, - it was alright this morning thank fuck!!
S'pose I better take a towel or something.
D'ya know something else? I don't like the way my hair's been cut.
Dear mother told me last night not to eat too much before a swim `cos it can give you stomach cramps and then you drown?
Thanks a fucking bunch! Like I'm not nervous enough and now I might drown?
Well at least Simon... oh God!
At least Simon has a silver medal. Hey! I wonder if that means he can give the kiss of life?
The `Speedo' idea works!!
Well. I had a totally perfectly perfect day!
Somehow that doesn't do it justice either!
Anyhow. I got to his place and I met his mum who seemed cool enough and we sat in the kitchen and had a cup of tea.
Fuck! You should see the size of their pissing kitchen! I recon it's bigger than our living room!
Then he took me and showed me his bedroom. About as untidy as mine so we've got that in common for starters!
He asked me what sort of cozzy I was going to change into for swimming. He looked kinda disappointed when I said I'd got them on already but that just might have been wishful thinking on my part. He definitely did perk up a bit when I told him I was wearing `Speedo's' though `cos he said `brill idea' and pulled out a pair for himself!! OOOOOOO!!
Modest little fucker though.
We went into the changing area and he turned his back on me when he stripped off but I managed to cop a load of his sweet bum! Fucking beautiful! Nice tan lines as well and I told him so being the out and out bastard I am!
He spent a little longer than necessary to adjust his package. -- I wonder...
Awesome pool! 2'6" at the shallow end and a seriously scary 9' at the deep end and huge! I never measured it but it's way bigger than our school pool. It's even got diving boards!!
Shit! -- He can move in the water! Like a fucking gazelle or summat, - if gazelles can swim that is. Oh God and he's got such a beautiful pissing body.
I had to get into the water a bit sharpish `cos I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I didn't want to get caught out perving on him now did I?
Then he started to help me to swim.
He had me holding a float under my chest and told me to kick my feet but they just kept going lower and lower in the water. I thought that he would laugh at me or summat but he never. He was really sweet like that, - he just told me to have another go and put his hands under my thighs to hold them up.
I thought I was going to die when he did that!! It got me moving though and not just in my Speedo's either, you dirty minded cunt! I was actually moving through the water! Oh yeah!!
Then he let go of me and I was still moving but I started to freak out when I realised I was well out of my depth but Simon spun me around and pushed at my feet, scooting me into shallow water which was kind of him.
We messed around for ages and he was just so fucking patient with me!
He had me on my back with one of his hands under my back and the other under my legs to stop me from sinking. Then he told me to take a deep breath and hold it. Then the little bastard let go of me but hey! I didn't sink, - I just kind of like, stayed there!!
I had to let go of my breath and that was a problem `cos I started to go under again and copped for a nose full of water!
We had another go but this time he told me to let go of my breath as soon as he let go of me and then just to try and breathe like normal. -- Difficult when you've got a hard-on even if it's pretty well in check.
It worked though and I could float on my own for like ages!!
Simon recons the next step is to kick my feet while I'm floating and see how I get on but I was well knackered and we decided to get out and change and maybe have another go later.
I am a fucking twatt though!
I'd gone to all the trouble of getting my cozzy on before hand but never thought about having to change out of them after?! What a dick-head!
Still we both had to do it and besides, I didn't have to be facing him, did I?
Funny though, it turned out he was as nervous as me `cos he asked me like, `you nervous `cos I am?'
My voice didn't work right `cos it came out more like a frog than a boy when I nodded and said `yes'!
Hey! Simon just looked at me and smiled if that wasn't about to make things worse!
He suggested with just yanked them down together on the count of three and we went through the silly fucking banter like `I bet you won't do it' and like `No? It's you that won't!' and stuff like that so we made a pact that who ever didn't would have to swim starkers in the afternoon and I was fucked if that was going to be me, what with him holding me up and shit, - his face just inches away from my tackle!
We were kinda stalling like `who's going to count' and stuff but I got in first.
One.., and two.., and THREE!!
Here were are fucking starkers in front of each other, both of us well sprouted out!
We just kinda looked at each others bits and I don't know who was redder in the face, - him or me!
My frog and returned to piss me off `cos I said summat like `fucking awesome chap!' and then the stupidest thing. `Fuck you're beautiful'.
I mean he was and I couldn't have stopped myself if I'd tried, - which I didn't.
Simon looked like a beetroot. `You mean that?'
OMG I'm in the shit now `cos I can't say no now, can I?
Like I wanted for a big hole to open up and swallow me or to wake up to find it was a well horny dream but it wasn't.
I guessed I was in the shit already and what was the worst that could happen anyhow so I told him `yeah'. Like `you're perfect' or some such shit and then I started crying for heavens sake!!
I DON'T DO CRYING!!!
Simon was awesome!
He came over and fingered away my tears and said like, `You're a bit of special yourself'!
Nothing else happened `cos it was lunch time so we had a cold shower, - got dressed and went though to eat.
After lunch we played on his Xbox for an hour so as to let the food go down.
He asked me if I was on the internet but I told him `no I wasn't because my PC is a heap of doogy-doos and is well too slow to cope with broadband'.
He's got a spare laptop!! He's lent it to me!! We can email and IM and stuff!!
I'm keeping my diary on this piece of shit though `cos if I give him back, I don't want him to be able to read this rubbish.
We went back to the pool later, hey and yeah! We got changed in front of each other!! We both got a bit `heated up' but it was ok.
I managed finally to do a width of the pool on my back, - like unaided except for starting off where Simon had to support me again.
I don't want to learn too fast because then I won't feel his soft hands on my body anymore.
I nearly told him but I was so pissed that I'd cry again.
I'm going over again tomorrow. I need practice or so he recons.
I'm like well messed up.
First thing tomorrow I'm going to sort this internet thing so I can at least talk to him if I can't be with him.
I wonder if he feels anything for me?
I ain't bad looking and I've got a decent enough bod but I'm not like fucking Gods gift to mankind like he is.
END OF PART THREE.
Part four will follow shortly.
I sincerely hope you're enjoying it so far and I'd appreciate your comments and observations.