Date: Thu, 27 Jan 2005 22:49:49 +0800
From: gspencer <gspencer@amitar.com.au>
Subject: Yin and Yang part two

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person,
living or dead, is purely accidental and unintended. Copyright is
held by the Author and reproduction in any form, whether for
profit or not, without the written permission of the Author, is
prohibited. If reading erotic literature is prohibited in your area,
then you proceed further at your own risk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This work is intended for those who have a moderate grasp of
English and like a story in which there may be some sex. Any
word you do not understand can be found in the Pocket Oxford
Dictionary.1992 edition. <gspencer@amitar.com.au>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


              Yin and Yang.    Part two.

Dearest nephew
     Uncle Li has told me that I have to write about the next three
years of our life. He says that I was the one silly enough to offer
you the information so I have to do the work. He also said that I
know what people are feeling and he has to guess. He promised
to read over my shoulder and correct anything he feels I may
have explained wrongly. As I did before, I will try to give you
some idea about the feelings involved as well as the facts. I do
hope you like this new format; it is easier on my tired old eyes. I
do hope you don't find my habit of putting Chinese family
names last is offensive. I am writing in English and we always
put the family name last. I don't think in Cantonese so I have to
write as I think.
Be safe and well my dear one
Uncle Jeremy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      The weekend had been a wonderful time. Li and I were
learning about each other, and learning how to relate to the
world as a couple. It was too new for us to try and relate to any
more than our families, but that was a big enough project for the
time being. Being so young, we had no idea how much we
would change over the next five years, and how difficult it would
be for us to maintain the togetherness, which made us so
perfect together. As you can see, we managed to do it but it was
not without some severely bruising incidents. Wednesday was
like an oasis in the middle of the week. On the Friday, I did my
work at home with a heavy heart. I didn't want to be separated
from Li, but that was the agreement, and I had accepted.

     It was ten days to Christmas and I had to sit down with Mum
and work out what was going to happen over the six weeks of
the holidays.  Father Wong had hired a man to mow the lawns
before the "wedding" so they did not have to be done until next
weekend. I decided that tonight was the night. I would sort all
the details out with Mum before I went to the Wong's tomorrow.

     "Mum, can we have a talk, after dinner, about how we're
going to make things work during the holidays."

      "That's an excellent idea and I was going to bring it up
myself."

     We cleared the dishes and then sat in the lounge room. I
brought a pen and notepad so that I could play around with
ways of arranging things. Mum must have had it all sorted out in
her mind, because she jumped in while I was still sorting things
out.

      "How would you feel about Li staying here with you on the
nights when you're home?"

      I was shocked. "There is no way I could ask Li to give up all
those things his father bought us. My room doesn't even have a
double bed, let alone a computer and private line.  We'd have to
buy all new furniture before I could ask Li to stay here."

      "So? What did Shin Wong tell you? Didn't he say that Li was
your responsibility now? You have to start making decisions for
the two of you. I know this is asking you to grow up and start
thinking in a more adult way, but that is part of the price you
have to pay for accepting Li as your partner. I know it's very
hard for you to suddenly start making adult decisions at your
age. You need to remember that at this time, Li is very
dependent on you. You're an independent person but Li isn't.
Your decisions have to be about what is best for both of you,
not just for yourself. I promised that I would do everything I
could to help you both and we've got some money put away that
we could use for furniture, but it is not my place to make your
decisions for you, only to advise and suggest. Besides, I think
you would reject any decisions I tried to force on you, and I
don't want another fight."

     This jolted my rather slow brain into action.  The vague
longings and wishings got pushed back into their proper place
and I started thinking at "a hundred miles an hour". All the
vague thoughts, which had been running around in my head,
began to collect into a pattern and the pattern into a plan.

     "No Mum! There's no way I want to get into a fight with you
ever again. You mean too much to me, I think it would kill me if
we stopped being friends, it would be almost as bad as if I lost
Li."

     "Thank you darling, that's just how I feel too. I can see how
miserable you feel when you're separated from Li. As you're
responsible for Li now, Jeremy, do you really think that I
wouldn't like to have him here too? After all he's a lovely boy in
his own right and he's now my son's partner. I want him to know
that he is as loved and accepted in this house as much as he is
in his parents home. I am sure that the Wongs have thought
about this just as much as I have, but none of us are prepared to
try and force anything on you. Think about it and let me know
when you have an answer you are happy with. You know that Li
will accept whatever you decide to do, even if he's not happy
with it, so think things out very carefully. After all, you don't
want to hurt Li, that would make you as unhappy as it makes
him."

     "Thanks Mum! That was just what I needed to wake me up.
The decision's already made, the only questions left are, how
soon can we get the bedroom set up, and what type of furniture
to buy. After all it would be a waste to duplicate what Father
Wong has bought us. I'll have to give this some thought and I
would like to talk to him to see if he has any ideas, but as soon
as I can organise it, we'll both live here on the days we're not at
the Wongs.  That is if Father has no objections. After all we said
we wouldn't live together until we were eighteen. We can leave
the household things until Monday, since there'll probably be
lots of other things to organise then. I'm going to bed now; I
have a lot of thinking to do. Goodnight Mum."

     "I think you'll find that the Wongs take a more flexible view of
things than you do. Talk to him. Goodnight son, and thankyou."

     "That's OK Mum. You said I had to start making more adult
decisions, so that means I have to think about you and the
Wongs as well as about Li and myself. Father has given me a lot
of money and said I was to spend it on Li and me, so there is no
need for you to think about dipping into the emergency account.
I just wasn't thinking straight. I was being selfish and having a
pity party, and I was ignoring what you wanted. I need to think
about whether we just get an extension for the 'phone or
whether I want a separate line, and what happens to the
furniture I buy for my room when Li and I move out on our own.
Do we really need two computers either here or at Wongs?
Would Father be insulted if I wanted to move one of the
computers here? If he would then I'll buy another one 'cause I
never want to insult him."

      "Shin Wong is one of those rare creatures, a rich man whose
family is more important than his money and status. He loves
you very much and I think you'll find he will be happy with
whatever you decide. It was obvious at the wedding that you
love him as much as you love your own father, so I told him, and
he is sincere when he says he is very proud of you.  I also told
Lin that you love her just as much as you love her husband. I
think you will find they will bend over backwards to make you
and Li happy. All you have to do is tell us what you wish to do.
Go and think about what you want and don't be afraid that we
will object to anything, within reason. But then, you are a very
sensible boy, no, you're a young man now, and I love you very
much, Jeremy."

   That was it. I was so stunned by my emotions that I didn't get
to bed for another half hour. We sat and cuddled and cried on
each other's shoulders, letting our love flow out to sooth and
warm each other.

      Saturday morning my head was much clearer. I did my
workout and decided that the matters in hand were more
important than swimming. After all we could go swimming any
day we wanted for the next six weeks.  I showered and told Mum
I was going to the Wongs to discuss what we had been talking
about last night. The sun was still too low to have a real bite,
and there was the freshness of overnight dew. It felt as if the
world had been renewed overnight. I love that feeling in the air.

       Li must have been watching. He flew down the steps and
was running down the footpath to meet me. I scooped him up in
a bear hug and he wrapped his legs around my waist. Now
things were out in the open we had no hesitation about giving
each other's cheek a kiss right there and then. I just felt so
relieved and complete. I had to put him down, as it was
impossible to walk holding him that way, I couldn't see where I
was going. I had no idea what the neighbours thought and I
honestly didn't care.

      Father was in his study, catching up on the paper work he
had neglected over the past few weeks. I was reluctant to
disturb him but Li insisted that he would be upset if I had
something important to talk about and I put it off because of his
paper work. He dragged my to the door, knocked, and opened it,
without waiting for a reply.

      "What is it little Li?"

      "It's Jeremy, he won't come and ask you what he wants to
ask, because you're working." He dragged me into the room by
my hand.

      "Jeremy, you're my son now, and I'll put my work aside to
talk to any of my children. If it's so important that I can't be
disturbed, I go in to the office. What do you need to talk about?"

      I took a chair in front of his desk and sat Li on my lap. I just
love holding him and nuzzling his face. I told Father of my plans
and how I felt very selfish in keeping Li to myself and not letting
Mum get to know him. He had started out looking serious, but a
hint of a smile started as he heard what I had to say, and the
smile just got bigger the longer I talked. I told him I was worried
that he might be upset if I took one of the computers to our
house but that it seemed a waste of money to buy a third one
when we only needed one between the two of us. If we needed
another at some time in the future I would buy it then. I did need
to buy another printer as we only had one at the moment.

      We only needed take some of Li's clothes to our house, and
they would be older clothes or things he had nearly grown out
of. We usually went out with the Wongs, and at the weekend, so
it was sensible to leave all but one or two sets of our good
clothes upstairs. We would have one or two good sets if Mum
decided to take us somewhere in the middle of the week. We
also needed to set up an area where Li and I could work out.
This would be essential for the first twelve months, if Li were to
be learning Aikido, as that would be the period when he would
be laying the groundwork for all his future learning. I knew that
from my own experience. By the time I had finished he had a
grin like a Cheshire cat.

     I did ask Father if he thought I was breaking our agreement,
because Mother had said that we should not live together until
Li was eighteen. He assured me that what they had meant was
that no one should become aware of our relationship until we
were adults and that meant we should not live on our own. He
thought it unlikely that it would cause any problems if we were
living at home with my mother being there. He was so kind! He
made me feel as if I was really important and adult. It made me
realise how special Father was.

     "You have thought this out very carefully. I am proud of you.
You can go and pick your furniture after lunch, if you like.
Chang will be home for lunch and he's bringing Leanne Fong.
As far as I know they have no plans for this afternoon and you
would be going to her father's furniture shop as I have found it
one of the best there is. There is no need for you to use your
own card, just charge it to my account; it will save me having to
reimburse your card. Oh, and I will convert the old garage into a
gymnasium for you. I was thinking about pulling it down but not
if it can serve a useful purpose."

     As you know, Leanne became your Aunt, but at this time I
doubt if even she or Chang knew about that. I think they were
just good friends. That is the feeling I got from them when they
walked in. You were a baby when you left for America, so I'll try
to describe my first impression of her.

     They walked through the hall and straight into the dining
room. They were talking loudly about something, I can't
remember what. It was obvious that Leanne was at home here.
Mother was putting some finishing touches to the table and Li
and I had just come from the study. Leanne walked around the
corner and I got my first look at her.

     I stood with my mouth open. She was the most stunning
Eurasian girl I had ever seen. She had Chinese features like her
father, and dark hair but the figure she had inherited from her
Australian mother was enough to make Elle, or any other model,
green with envy. Her curves are the most subtle but eye
catching I have ever seen. It was not just her figure it's the way
she moves and the way her personality shines through in
whatever she was doing. Her face was so wonderfully serene
that it was hard to look away from it to admire her figure. Mother
turned from the table, took one look at me and started giggling.
This made Li look at me and he started, then Chang looked and
he started giggling. Leanne was looking at Chang and was
puzzled about what was going on.

     "Wow! If she's for real, you sure know how to pick them."

     Leanne looked at me and started laughing, Chang was
laughing so hard, by now, that he was almost rolling on the
floor, and the other two were giggling madly.

     "I told you he was outspoken. He never leaves you in any
doubt about what he thinks. Straight from the shoulder like one
of his Karate punches, that's our Jeremy." Chang managed to
wheeze this out between bursts of laughter.

     Father must have come out of the study to see what all the
noise was about because I could hear him chuckling behind us.
He walked over and took Leanne's hand.

     "Since my son seems to be incapacitated I think I had better
introduce you. Leanne this is Jeremy Irons. Jeremy this is
Leanne Fong."

     I took Leanne's hand and kissed it.

     "Wow!" I couldn't even think of a line from a novel to use.

     They all broke up again.

     "You stop that noise little Li, she's almost as beautiful as you
are."

     This made them even noisier, but Li came across and pulled
my head down for a great big smooch. The trouble was that I
could feel he was still trying to giggle while we were kissing. So
I just about sucked the tongue out of his head, to shut him up.
Mind you it was rather nice.

     No camera can do that woman justice. It is impossible for film
to capture the subtlety of her beauty, and her youngest daughter
has inherited that same quality. Eventually, they got control of
themselves and we had lunch.

     After lunch Chang took us down to Sun Wah Furniture, which
was on a major road and not actually in Chinatown. This made it
more attractive for us "ghost people" people to use. The store is
built on the side of a hill, but you don't realise, until you're
inside, that you actually come in on the middle floor. There is a
five level parking area next door. When we walked in I realised
just how huge the place is, as it is on three levels. The range of
furniture was vast, and so was the price range. Li and I were
standing not far inside the door while I was trying to make up
my mind where to start. We were waiting for Leanne and Chang
to catch us up; they seemed to be taking a long time to lock the
car. The salesman who approached us was very well trained and
helpful. I asked him to direct me to the middle price range
furniture. I would have called it expensive furniture before I met
the Wongs. I asked him to tell our friends where to find us, as
they seemed to be taking a long time. When they finally came,
the salesman was leading them.

      "Here they are, Miss Leanne, Mr Wong. If I had known they
were with you I would never have left them alone like this."

      I assured him that was just what I wanted, at the moment. I
needed to browse around and get the feel of things. I had been
explaining to Li how I was trying to pick things to make us
comfortable without being cramped in my bedroom. Leanne
reassured the salesman and dismissed him with a beautiful
smile. She told him that she would see to the paper work, as it
was going on Father's account. She was so gracious and her
smile would have melted stone. It was no wonder the salesman
fawned on her as if she were a goddess, and I couldn't blame
him. I suppose it also helped that she was the daughter of the
owner.

     Chang tried to talk me into expensive furniture, assuring me
that Father would be only too happy to buy me the best that was
available. I had to be very firm in explaining to him that
expensive stuff would be out of place in our house. I don't think
he understood just what it's like to not be rich. I hadn't adjusted
to the fact that now I was part of the Wong family and had more
money than I had ever thought possible. Beside that, I was still
only a teenager, and not a mature young man like him, so I
needed to take things slowly, since I was not sure that my good
fortune would last. Things had been pretty good before Mum
and Dad broke up, and then everything went to hell in a hand-
basket.

      I tried to make him see that Mum was not the sort of person
who felt comfortable about being given things, she only felt
comfortable if she thought she had earned them. Even though
she would never complain, it would make Mum feel
uncomfortable, and I refused to do that unless it was absolutely
necessary. Chang eventually understood, after some vigorous
earbashing, and he apologised for doubting my judgement.

     I found a lovely suite that had two large wardrobes, bigger
than my current one. It was a sort of honey colour veneer that
wouldn't make the room look too crowded. One wardrobe had a
mirror in the door. It had a double bed with bedside cabinets,
and a sound system and alarm clock, all built into the
headboard. That would save space, as my bedroom was not as
large as Li's old one, which Chang now used. I decided on a
double seat computer desk for studying and found one that
fitted in well with the other furniture. There was a spot in the
extensive bookcase, which surrounded the computer nook,
which would take a small TV and a VCR. I was trying to
apologise to Li for things not being as luxurious as he was used
to, but he just pulled my head down and kissed me in the middle
of the store. It was his sweet way of shutting me up.

     "You will be there. That's all that matters Jeremy." He giggled
and went on. "Besides I know it won't be uncomfortable, you
like your comfort too much, you're just like a big pussycat."

     He is right. According to the Chinese calendar I am a Rabbit
and he just managed to be a Snake because of how the moon
fell in his birth year. Some people think of the rabbit as a cat,
and I do like my comfort, just like a cat. Snakes are regarded as
very beautiful, and he is. According to the Chinese we are also
very harmonious as lovers, and I can vouch for that.

     Leanne was laughing at our antics. She told Chang that she
thought he had been exaggerating until she saw it with her own
eyes. She thought we were very cute. At least she was
comfortable with it and I got no bad impressions from her.
Fortunately we were hidden behind the furniture, and no one
could see us. I'm well aware that we were unusual, because it
isn't the way that people that age usually behave, especially
boys, but we seemed to be different to most of the people our
age. Chang told her not to be deceived, as I was more like a pet
tiger than a pet cat.

     We found a couple of office chairs and I bought top of the
range, as they would see plenty of use. Leanne fixed up the
paper work and asked when I wanted them delivered. She
insisted that I use the service of their furniture removalists to
shift the furniture from my bedroom to the empty spare
bedroom. I could set things up however I liked and their time
would simply be added to the bill. It was quicker and better than
me trying to do it myself.

     Chang, Leanne and Li all had to work on me to get me to
spend the extra. I was just not used to spending money so
freely. I rang Mum from the office to make sure she knew what
was going to happen, and ask if Monday would be all right. She
immediately asked if Li would be sleeping the night, I said I
thought he would unless something went   wrong, and you
could tell, just from her tone of voice, she was pleased.

     We went to get some bed linen and blankets at another part
of the store. While we were there I bought a TV and VCR at the
Electrical store next door. We put all our purchases in Chang's
car boot, and went to Leanne's for a drink. I was shopped out for
the day.

     Mr and Mrs Fong were lovely people and I took to them
immediately. Li already knew them because they were family
friends. Her two younger brothers were out somewhere, Leanne
got nearly hysterical telling them about my reaction earlier in the
day, and the family's reaction, but it did not take the edge off the
"cautious but curious" feeling I was getting from them. I asked
Chang, in a whisper, what I had done to upset them, but he just
shrugged his shoulders. The reason came out just before we
were ready to leave. Mr Fong asked the question which must
have been there from the start of our visit.

     "I hear you had some trouble a few weeks ago."

     I blushed and looked at the floor. The moment Li saw this he
dropped my hand and leapt into my lap, throwing his arms
around me.

     "It's nothing to be ashamed of Jeremy. I'm proud of how you
fought for me. The Fong's are our friends they won't be angry at
you."

     Chang stepped into the silence and gave them a summary of
what happened, including a rather gory description of the fight
with the three men. Leanne was looking quite sick at the end of
the tale. Chang could not resist taking a jab at her.

     "I told you he was a pet tiger not a pussycat. Li is the only
person who can safely treat him as his lap cat. Anyone who
threatens Li or he takes a dislike to, is in severe danger."

     "Chang! That's horrible! Please stop saying things like that
you make me sound like some sort of stand-over man. You
know I hate fighting and I'll never fight with anybody if I can get
out of it."

     "I know you're really a placid person, and I know it's very
hard to get you to raise a hand to anyone, but you've never seen
yourself when you decide it's time to fight. I have! I was there!
You're terrifying when you get mad! I never want to be the one
who's made you mad. I know that threatening Li is the surest
way to do it, but I've seen you look at bullies and I've seen them
slink away without you saying a word. I know why they do that,
and I never want you to look at me that way."

     "Why on earth would you do anything like that? I can't
imagine you ever doing anything to make me mad at you.
Besides, you're Li's brother and I would never harm you for Li's
sake."

     "I know! I know; I was just taking the mickey out of Leanne.
Don't get upset with me please. Please Jeremy? I didn't mean to
upset you." Chang was penitent, but Li was ferocious.

     "You're a rotten big brother! You're making fun of my Jeremy
and making him unhappy. You stop that right now and never do
it again."

     Li hugged me even tighter and kissed me all over the face. I
could feel he was upset at me being upset so I hugged and
kissed him back, and I tried to centre myself and calm down.

      "I'm sorry little brother. I promise I won't do that ever again."

     Leanne had to put her oar in. "I should think you would be
ashamed. Fancy upsetting Jeremy and Li just for the sake of a
silly, cheap, shot at me. I thought you were more grown up than
that Chang Wong."

     All the same our silly argument had done nothing to remove
the "caution" from the Fongs, although it had cured their
curiosity. I didn't feel as if they were frightened. They seemed
OK, but just cautious.

     "I think we should go home." I had had enough.

     Chang leaped at the opportunity to get away from his
embarrassment. We said our goodbyes and took the purchases
to our house before going to Wong's. Mum had just the spot
where they would be safe but handy for when the furniture
delivery was finished. There was hardly any conversation along
the way and I was nibbling on Li's ear while I was thinking. He
startled me by giggling and climbing over me to the other side
of me.

     "My ear hurts, but it's nice. Just do the other one for a while."

     Mother could see that something was wrong, the moment we
walked in the door. Li glared at Chang and we left him to explain
while I took Li up to wash for dinner. We hadn't had a decent
feel of each other all day so we had a lovely feel and skin rub
before we washed, but we saved our juice for bedtime. When we
went down Li had a tent in his shorts but it did not embarrass
him, in fact he seemed almost proud when he got horny around
home. It was almost as if he was showing off how happy I made
him feel.

      Father asked me about the furniture I had bought and I had
to explain it to him but much less forcefully than I had to Chang.
He was not unhappy; he told me I was being considerate of my
mother.  We watched some TV after dinner but I wanted Li and Li
was beginning to get impatient so I knew he wanted me. We
went up to bed. In the three years we spent living with both the
Wongs and my Mum, no one so much as raised an eyebrow if Li
and I went up to bed early.

      For the first few weeks, Mother had to shush Ping and Min as
I could feel them thinking up some rude comments, but they
soon ignored us. That first year, we went to bed early an awful
lot. The year after I was studying for my T.E. Exam and the next
year was Li's T.E.E, but we fitted in enough so we didn't feel
deprived those two years.

     Christmas was still a few days away but we discovered an
early Christmas present. Li wanted me inside him. I could suck
him later if he didn't cum. He needed me. He had been surfing
the gay sites, on the nights I was not there, and had found out
that there was a position we hadn't tried. He showed me a series
of porno pictures he had downloaded. (Yes there were porno
sites back then, and the university pretended there was no way
they could prevent access or monitor users). He knew more
about computers than I did, at that time, and he had protected
them with passwords and a, rather crude, erase programme.
You must remember that programmes were nowhere near as
sophisticated then, as they are now.

     He had downloaded some stuff that had my eyes almost
popping out of my head. There was a whole series of a boy and
a teenager; they started from fully dressed to a photo of cum
dribbling out of the boys half closed hole. The real eye opener
was that they did the whole thing face to face. The teenager was
even able to lean down and kiss the boy. The idea of being able
to look at Li while we were doing it was breathtaking. I decided
then and there that we were going to try it tonight. There were
lots of other photo's but the ones which interested me were the
ones which showed different ways of making it comfortable
while we did it front on. I told Li to shut down, as I knew what we
were going to try tonight.

     He was so randy he was dribbling pre-cum. He says this was
the first time he ever did that. He says it was the anticipation of
what I was going to do to him. I wet a face cloth and brought a
hand towel from the bathroom to clean up afterwards. I
undressed him and licked and sucked him clean. He did the
same for me. I laid him on his back and began to work lube into
him. The tube was nearly empty but there was a new tube in the
drawer. I did wonder who was keeping our supply refreshed. He
was happily holding his knees up near his ears, just as the boy
in the series did. The moment I had lubed myself I tried to enter
him, but the angle was all wrong.  I made a ramp of pillows as I
had seen in another photo, and lifted Li on so that his bum was
in the air.  I liked this idea better than him having to strain to
hold himself off the bed. This time I just had to push a bit to get
past the ring. He was so eager that his muscles almost sucked
me in, and I was buried up to the hilt in no time. Then he could
put his legs down and wrap them around me.

     It felt so good that I was barely moving and I was kissing and
nibbling him. It was the way I had dreamed of. Even though
there was no strain on him he wanted to feel me cum inside him,
so he was soon encouraging me to move faster and harder.  As I
began to move I could see his face screw up, but it was in
pleasure more than pain. In that position I couldn't get as far
inside him as I could the other way, and I'd pop out if I was too
vigorous, but it felt just as good.  The corona of my glans must
have brushed his prostate, as he began to whimper.

     Since he seemed to like it, I kept my thrusts fairly short so
that I brushed that spot as often as possible. He was soon
whining like a puppy and I filled him with every drop I had,
driving right up to the hilt as I orgasmed. I must have looked like
a gorilla as I huffed and puffed and waited to regain my strength.
I was kneeling between Li's legs, still inside him, with my
knuckles on the bed and Li was grinning at the spaced out look
on my face. I had to learn how to do it without popping out, but
this was the way to do it.

     He had not orgasmed but his belly was covered with dribbles
of pre-cum. I could lick some of it up but I was not flexible
enough to suck him without withdrawing. I wanted to stay in him
all night and I wanted to suck him but I couldn't do both at the
same time. I pulled out of him and he felt disappointed, then I
put the towel on the bed and lifted him onto one end of it. I put
the pillows back and began to work on his beautiful sticky little
rod. I soon had him over the moon, and he was making his usual
bow as he shot his sweetness into my mouth.

     "That was wonderful. Let's do it like that every night. Was it
good for you too Jeremy?"

     "You must have had your eyes shut or you would have
known it was just as good for me. I like being able to see you
and nibble you and kiss you."

     I was about to clean him up but he needed to go so I checked
the bathroom was empty and carried him in to set him on the
pot. He giggled and told me that he could walk but it was nicer if
I carried him.  I must have pumped him up like a bicycle tyre
because he farted like a horse, as he expelled the residue of my
deposit. I cleaned us up in the bathroom and threw the dirty
things into the hamper. Mother never gave the slightest hint that
she was unhappy with me doing this and never offered me
anything else for cleaning up. She always kept a good supply in
the bathroom drawers.

     Chang knocked on the door and Li scampered into the
bedroom. I unlocked the door and Chang gave me a big smile
and a wink as I closed our door. He could see Li hiding behind
me, giggling and hiding his naughty bits with his hands. If
Chang hadn't already known he would have been able to smell
the towel in the clothesbasket.

     I was nearly asleep when I felt his fingers crawling up my leg.
He said he could not go to sleep unless I was inside him as it
made him feel loved and secure all at the same time. I had to
work a bit to get it hard enough so soon after our last effort and
I told him that putting it in was all I was going to do. That
satisfied him and we were soon asleep. Of course I slipped out
of him during the night. I was woken by him sitting over me, and
trying to get my piss hard inside his hole. I told him he was a
naughty little boy and I was saving it for tonight, but I could feel
he was in real need so I used my finger inside him and my
mouth. This was the first time I used a finger and lips at the
same time, and he was panting like he had run a marathon after
he came. He was satisfied with that.

     He has always needed it at least twice us much as I did, and
sometimes more, so I have had to be inventive to keep him
satisfied. That first year I was soon filling his tunnel twice a day,
and, when we were not at school, I would use my finger inside
and my mouth, for a midday snack. When I was studying I used
other techniques and confined intercourse to once a day, but he
still insisted on going to sleep with me inside him every night,
and he still loves it. The trouble is that I find being sucked is the
most enjoyable way, and I have had to, almost, give it up to keep
my Li happy. I could feel his emotions while we were making
love, and he needed sex, not because he was obsessed with
orgasms, but because it made him feel wanted and secure. He
felt as if he needed the physical reassurance of my presence in
him.  At this time in his life he was very insecure, and the
bullying and teasing had made him even more so.

     He grew out of it, but the first three years were very hard for
me, as I had to constantly reassure him, and sex was one of the
major ways I did it. Keeping Li happy, in bed, has always been
more important to me, than my being happy. I have always
thought of myself as being stronger than him, even though that
isn't really true. I took over responsibility for him when I
"married" him, and I believe that it is my place to be strong
enough to keep him feeling secure and contented, not the other
way around. Three years seems like forever when you're a
teenager, but by the time he was eighteen, Li was also looking
after my needs and it became a sharing of equals, just as I had
always wanted.

     After breakfast we told Mother what we were going to do and
she came upstairs with us to suggest which clothes she thought
best fitted my description. At her insistence, Chang went to the
Fong's to apologise for his behaviour. We packed the clothes
into striped carry bags, as it was a waste to use suitcases for
that short journey. I told Mother what I had bought and asked
her if she thought there was anything I had forgotten. She said if
she thought of anything she would pack some from here, for us
to take.

     Father took us out to lunch at a seafood restaurant and it was
the first time I ever had crayfish (lobster for you Americans). We
met the Deng's for lunch and Leanne and Chang joined us. Mr
Deng turned out to be Mothers brother and the man who owned
the shop where I had bought the Buddha statue. I was to
become good friends with him in the future, and he was a lovely
person. Most of the conversation, among the adults, was in
Cantonese but I was introduced to the three Deng children and
our conversation was in English with some Cantonese. If he felt
it was important Li translated anything that I didn't understand.

     The two younger Deng's were about Ping and Min's ages but
Liu (I hope that is spelled right) was about my age, then there
were Ping and Robert. Until then I had not realised that names in
Chinese are not gender specific the way they are in European
culture. It became pretty obvious to me because Ping Deng was
a girl. No one seemed at all sure why they had picked Robert for
the name of the youngest son, but I was to find that out from Mr
Deng, much later on.

     Monday morning Chang drove us home before Mum left for
work. Mother gave Chang a parcel to give us and he put it in the
boot, without saying anything, after we had loaded the clothes.

     Mum hugged and kissed Li, when we got there, and told him
she hoped he would soon feel at home here. He thought she
was wonderful and told her it would be nice to have two mothers
and he knew she must be a lovely person or I could never have
been so nice. He even asked her if it was all right to call her
Mum as he always called his own mother, Mother, just as I did.
Before she left he had her eating out of his hand. She even
dabbed a tear from her cheek as she was getting into the car.

      We unpacked the car boot and there was an extra parcel but
Chang had left by the time I noticed it and the moving men were
due any minute, so I put it on hold for the moment. My planning
must have been good because everything fitted, in both rooms,
just the way I wanted it. The spare bedroom was between Mums
room and my own.  We took Li's clothes in first, and then the
sheets and pillows. I had to make up the bed, as Li had no idea
how to do it. He was rather upset by that, as he thought it
should have been his job. I had to console him and tell him I
would teach him whatever he needed to know, as I was used to
doing things for myself and he wasn't. He needed a lot of
cuddles and kisses and a good sucking before he felt better. So
we tried out the new bed for the first time, and it was very
comfortable. I felt so blessed, lying in my own bedroom, with the
most special person in my world in my arms. I could feel the
contentment in my sweet little Li, and breathed a word of thanks
to Spirit.

      We brought up the extra parcel and opened it. Inside were
four bath towels, a dozen hand towels and a dozen washcloths
as well as three tubes of Wet Stuff Gold. Now I knew who kept
the drawer in the bedroom topped up. As I put the spare sheets
in the linen press, I wondered if I had bought enough and
decided we needed another three pairs. If we were going to be
as active as we were at Wongs, then we would probably need
them. I usually did the bulk of the washing on a Monday
afternoon and we could well have used four sheets, if not four
pairs, by then.

     I told Li we needed to go down to the shops, and when I
asked him if he would like a burger for lunch, he said he had
never had one but he would like to try one, as Chang said they
were nice.  I put Mum's sheets and the towels in to wash. I
would strip the single bed when I got home. I emptied out my
backpack and we walked as it was only as far to the shops as it
was to school. I would have preferred to go swimming, as I had
not exercised for days, but it would have to wait.  I took Li to my
favourite burger bar, where they make them to their own recipe
and cook them on a hotplate. He loved it and said we could
come there any time I wanted to. I bought the sheets and two
extension cords for the TV and VCR. The power boards were
very expensive, at that time, so I bought double adaptors for the
power points.  I paid with my card and drew out some cash, in
case I needed some small items.  We walked home happily
holding hands.

     When we got home I taught Li how to hang out washing,
while the second load was washing. There is a real art to
hanging washing so that it gets dry and doesn't blow off the
line. I had to wind the rotary right down so Li could reach
comfortably. He was tired by the time the second load was
hung, as he had had a much more active day than he was used
to. I took him up and popped him into bed for a nap, while I
prepared the vegetables for dinner. I woke him just before Mum
got home and started to dress him in his jeans again, he wanted
to wear shorts, as the jeans were uncomfortable. I told him that,
since I was doing the washing, he only got one set of clothes
per day, unless they got dirty. I think he just likes showing off
his legs, they are still scrumptious but, at that time, they were
mouth-wateringly delectable.

     I ended up giving in, and letting him change into shorts. He
hadn't complained, but the look of disappointment was more
than I could bear. It made me want to hug him and tell him I was
being selfish, so I did, and the smile on his face was so beautiful
it made my heart sing. I'm a softy for my Li.

     When Mum came in I put the steaks out to thaw faster. She
got into a conversation with Li and he took her to show her the
furniture, so I set the table and put out the salad bowl.  I had a
small steak for Li, a medium one for Mum and a large one for
me. I turned the steaks, mashed the potatoes and called them to
dinner. Li was amazed that I had done all the cooking. I don't
think he had ever thought that a man could cook before then,
even though the chefs in the restaurants are usually men. Mum
told him there was no job around the house that I couldn't do,
even though I tried to avoid some of them, like cleaning the
bath. He proudly told Mum that he was going to learn all the jobs
and do them for me. I smiled indulgently and thought that it
would be years before Li had the stamina to do all the
housework, but I said nothing. Mum looked at me and smiled.
She sent me a feeling of amused doubt, which mirrored my own
feelings. Still, the thought of him wanting to take over those
duties was beautiful. He has always been such a sweet and
loving person. As soon as he had finished eating, Li came and
sat in my lap.

     "Can we go to bed now Jeremy? I'm still very tired."

     "No sweetest, I still have to do the washing up and clean the
kitchen."

     "I think you have done enough for today, young man. Take Li
to bed and I will clean up."

     "That's not fair on you Mum. You've been working all day."

      "Li needs you and I'm the one who decides what's fair and
what's not around here.  I told you that Li is your first
responsibility and I am second. That's the way it is and it should
be when you're married. Take Li to bed."

     Despite her words, she was sending concern for Li and love
for us both, so I knew she was feeling OK about it. He was very
tired and I had only just put it inside him when I could feel he
was struggling to stay awake, even though he was longing for it,
so I changed position to spooning and we went to sleep. We had
been asleep for four hours when he woke me and said he was
ready for me. I tried to get out of it but he was sure he needed it.
I was still groggy, as I had had nowhere near enough sleep, so I
took him from behind and just stayed in him. When I got up for
my workout, he was still asleep, but I could see the stain on the
sheets. Just as well I had bought plenty.  He almost begged me
for it again, before I took my shower and he was pretty noisy. I
was a bit apprehensive at the thought of Mum hearing us, but if
she heard, she never said anything.

     From then on he insisted on me shafting him, almost every
morning and every night, with a suck in the middle of many
days. The shower was over the bath, as it was at Wong's, so we
showered together and I put the sheets out to wash. From then
on there was always one, and often two extra loads of sheets
per week. Mum must have noticed, she wasn't blind, but again,
she never said a word.

     Tuesday, house cleaning. I decided, since I still had not
talked to Mum about our holiday arrangements. I set Li to work
with the vacuum cleaner; I had to show him how to use it, and I
cleaned the bathrooms. Mum had an en-suite bathroom and the
second one was at the end of the passage, right next to my old
bedroom. Li had only done half the rooms, and already he was
looking tired. I sat him out on the back patio with a pot of
jasmine tea and finished the other rooms. I brought in the
washing and decided that was enough work for today.

     Li was feeling depressed at his lack of ability and feeling a
failure as a "wife". I had to postpone lunch and take him to bed
for an hour to lift his spirits. That was when I realised just how
much work I had to do, to undo all the silly notions Uncle Fang
had planted in his mind. It was not until his eighteenth birthday
that I was confident they had all been erased.

     After lunch I asked Li if there was anything he particularly
wanted to do. He was happy to do whatever I wanted to do. That
put me in a quandary. I really wanted to swim, but Li was already
tired and I was not sure if all that walking and a swim would be
too much for him. I decided to risk it. We found a pair of
Speedo's for him; it was a pair of my old ones from years ago. I
had outgrown them before they were worn out, and they had
managed to get included in the move. I had intended to give
them to the Salvation Army but I was glad I had not got around
to it. On him they looked very sexy; in fact he looked hot. I
decide I would do a thousand meters of each stroke. That
should take less than an hour, even if the pool were crowded. I
did not think Li would get bored playing by himself for that long.
If necessary I could fool around with him between strokes.

     Li was beginning to get bored. I focused on him every few
laps. We had a game of tag, and dive between the legs after I
had finished the crawl segment. I started the backstroke and
suddenly realised that Li was feeling very uncomfortable. I
looked up as I went into the tumble turn, and there were two
boys talking to him. They seemed to think he was on his own,
and one of them gave me a sly, sleazy feeling. They seemed to
be hitting on him. I did the lap back in crawl, it's faster.

     I cannoned into the boy who was closest to me, and almost
knocked him off his feet. He was about sixteen and I could feel
that he was pissed at me because I had interfered with them
grabbing a kid to give them some fun. As I stood up out of the
water, I must have had that look on my face Chang was talking
about, because he suddenly tried to back right through the pool
wall. The second boy was about seventeen and he definitely
intended to have sex with Li, although it was not clear what he
had in mind. No one rapes my Li!

     The older boy had his back to me. I grabbed his wrist; he had
hold of Li's upper arm and was starting to drag him out of the
pool. I pressed my thumb into that point, just behind the palm,
which makes you loose all strength in your hand. He had to let
go.  He half turned and began to snarl, but it suddenly turned
into a high-pitched scream. My left hand was squeezing his
testicles, and I wasn't being gentle. His mate was out of the pool
in a flash and running for the exit.  I gave his jewels a little twist
and his eyes almost bugged out of his head.

     " In future, if I so much as see you looking at Li from across
the street, I'll tear them right off! Get out of here!"

     I let him go, and he got, but not as fast as his mate. For some
strange reason he seemed to be hobbling.

     I took Li to the change room, he was shaking and all the bad
memories were replaying in his head. I sat and cuddled him,
sending him peace and healing, until I was able to get our
clothes out of the locker and he was able to get his clothes on.
We did not shower there, just put our clothes over our Speedo's.
I had the pool desk call a taxi for us. I cuddled and stroked him
all the way home, even though the taxi driver was giving us
some strange looks. As I was paying, I could feel the driver
preparing to make some rude remark about fags. I glared at him
and he shut up and drove off very fast.

     Mum rang at 4.30 and Li was still in a state, even though I had
showered him and hopped into bed with him. I told Mum what
had happened and she said she would bring home chicken and
chips for dinner. I told her to bring home four Chinese dishes
and plenty of rice and I would pay, she agreed. Li was not
brilliant by dinnertime and Mum said I was well ahead with the
work so I should take Li to bed. He did not argue and neither did
I. We lay and cuddled, rubbing our skin together, for what
seemed like hours before he was ready. I made a ramp and was
very gentle and long-winded, kissing, nibbling and rubbing his
rod. I think I was in him for an hour before I came.  I cleaned us
both up and avoided another load of washing. He still could not
go to sleep until I could get hard enough to spoon him, then he
slept like a baby.  Mum seemed to know what Li needed better
than I did.

      Li must have woken while I was still doing my morning
workout. He suddenly appeared, dressed only in a tatty cotton
robe. It was so short it barely covered his maleness and it
looked as if rats had been nibbling at its edges. I instantly
decided that I would buy him a new one and that I would check
and see if he had a decent one at Wongs. It was probable he
didn't, as I had never seen him wear one before.

      "Do you have to do that every morning Jeremy?" He was
pouting. "Can't you come back to bed?"

     "I'll come back when I'm finished sweet one. I have to keep
myself fit and strong, just think what would have happened
yesterday if I wasn't."

      Instantly, I knew I had said the wrong thing. The fear was
back and his tears were starting.

     "Oh SHIT! I didn't mean to say that darling. I've upset you
again." The tears were streaming down my face.

      Mum must have heard me. She came out and instantly
recognised what was wrong. I was not trying to hide my guilt
and Li was broadcasting his fear. She ordered me to get some
clothes on Li and ran for the 'phone. As soon as Li was decent
she drove us to Wong's. Father had not left for work and opened
the door as I lifted Li out of the car. I gasped out a thank you as I
almost ran past him, with Li in my arms, and up to the bedroom.
Mum must have told them about the incident at the pool, but she
did not know what I had said to upset Li. I got Li into bed and
was kneeling beside him.

     Father came up, while Mother stayed in the kitchen, as it
turned out she was just waiting for Father to tell her when it was
time to make tea for us. She knew father would tell her
everything later on. Father asked me what had happened and I
told him I had said something stupid. I was on a guilt trip and
was laying into myself. He asked me exactly what I had said and
I told him I would come into the hallway and tell him, as I didn't
want to upset Li again. Li would not let go of me; he had a death
grip on my hand, so I said I would paraphrase it, so it was not so
upsetting. I used every big word and convoluted phrase I could
think of to try not to frighten Li. He seemed to think I was talking
nonsense, but Father understood.

    "We all make mistakes. It is impossible to live this life without
making mistakes. Jeremy, you must stop blaming yourself, you
don't have the experience to be able to foresee what effect your
words would have. The best we can hope for, in this life, is to
make sure that we never make the same mistake twice. We must
learn from our mistakes and I know that's what this is. You
would never, never, never hurt Li deliberately. Of that I am very
sure. He is hurt but he isn't damaged. He will heal but he can't
heal if you're feeling guilty all the time as that will keep the hurt
right in front of him every day. You must forgive yourself for
making a mistake, put it behind you and get on with helping Li
heal. Get into bed and Mother will bring you up some tea."

     Mother brought up the tea. I have no idea what it was. It had a
herbal taste but it was quite nice and I drank it all, so did Li. She
was back before we had finished with an incense holder and a
couple of incense sticks. Soon there was the soothing smell of
jasmine in the air. A couple of hours later I surfaced from sleep
to find Li working me to full hardness with his lips. Before I was
fully awake he had lubed my dick and was trying to wiggle
himself on to it. It was hard for him to see what he was doing as
he had his back to me. He was trying to spoon. I put my arm
over him, and began massaging his package. It felt lovely.

     "Did you lube you sweet little hole my love?"

     "No." Giggle giggle.

     "Have you been this morning?"

     "No." Giggle giggle.

     "Do you want me to do you dirty?"

      "Yes." Giggle giggle. "And then to do me clean."

     "That's not very nice sweetie. I don't want to be putting it up
a dirty hole." I didn't even need to see his face, I could feel him.
He was beginning to shrink into a little ball inside. I had to act
fast, or he was going to go back into the state he was in this
morning, fearful and feeling unloved. I nuzzled his cheek and
began to send him acceptance.

     "Are you serious?"

     "Yes." Giggle giggle.

     "Well I suppose I could do something. After all you're my first
partner, and I'm your first partner. I suppose we have to try
everything at least once, just so we know whether it's something
we like or not."

And he was serious, so I did, even though I was groaning at the
thought. With two that close together and I would be exhausted
and very sore, and I was. The first time I used one of the three
condoms I had talked Chang into giving me. I did not get to
orgasm, he started to evacuate around my intrusion, he was
very runny, and I had to rush him to the bathroom before we
ruined the sheets. I think it was a result of all the emotional
upsets. I flushed my smelly "raincoat" away with everything
else, and washed us both. Then we went back for the second
round.

     He wanted it doggy style. He wanted me rough and
masculine; I am not into macho style so I had to fake it for his
sake. It is what he needed me to be today. It was hard work
being rough when you don't want to be and I shook him around
a bit while squeezing and stretching his foreskin. I was not
really rough but it was enough for him to feel satisfied. I rammed
him a little harder than usual, but I was getting sore, so it was
not for long, and I orgasmed fairly quickly.

      Instead of carrying him to the bathroom, as I usually did, I
stuffed some tissues up him to soak up and flipped him onto his
back. I went down on him like a hungry wolf on a rabbit. He did
not last long either, and his juice was beginning to get thicker,
not much but I could notice it. He still did his orgasmic bow.

     "Happy now?'

      "Yes."

     "Let's go to sleep."

     We did, but he had a handful of tissues stuffed up him
instead of me. He was probably giving me time off for good
behaviour.

     His father's lecture to me, combined with our lovemaking,
seemed to have a beneficial effect on him, and he slept until
lunchtime. Mother brought us up sandwiches and tea and he
had that contented smile back on his face when he woke. It was
the herbal tea again and I suspected it was what had made me
sleep, so I put some of mine into Li's cup and made him drink it
all. Mother was pleased to see the contentment back on his face
and I told her I would lie with him until he went to sleep, then get
up and meditate. I would have him up in time for dinner. He still
would not sleep until I was inside him. I was his security
blanket, and I could feel he had forgiven me for hurting his
feelings, and reminding him of his fear.

     I woke after an hour and sat in the alcove to meditate. My
Guide was just as insistent as Father, and said much the same
things.  He (I always think of him as a he, because of the way he
feels) was much more gentle and detailed, but it amounted to
the same thing.  We are here to learn, and one of the major ways
we learn is by making mistakes. If the mistake is not fatal, it
usually hurts enough so that we do not want to repeat that
behaviour. Feeling guilty about making a mistake is a negative
use of energy and a waste of time. If we feel guilty about
something we can correct then it has some value, because we
have a spur to make things right. Feeling guilty about things we
can't change is a waste of energy. We need wisdom to
distinguish between the two and that is what he was there to
help with. The only "currency" which is acceptable in all
dimensions of the Universe is positive vibration, which equates
to love in human terms. Negativity sucks away love and is to be
shunned. Negativity produces nothing; but love, in one form or
another, produces almost anything you can think of. Love of the
land produces good farmers. Love of birds produced Rachel
Carson and "Silent Spring". Love of cooking and food produces
great chefs. What, for instance, has the negativity of the Neo-
Nazi's produced except strife and discord, they want to destroy,
not build. Negativity is to be shunned. What was the positive
attitude of Mother Theresa producing in India? On the surface
she is fighting a losing battle but she is giving love to
individuals and easing their suffering, at the same time she is
shaming people out of their lethargy towards those in need and
spurring the move for change. In time she will succeed. We tend
to give up too easily because we want results this afternoon. It
is one of the biggest problems with Western business and
culture.

     I could hear Li stirring and it brought me back to earth.

     "Where are you Jeremy?"

     "I'm right here my love, meditating."

     "Can you cuddle me?"

     "Of course I can sweetness."

     I slipped into bed. I was still naked, and I pulled him too me. I
was not planning it, but I was so full of love and he was so soft
and needing, that I almost took him dry. He yielded like we were
doing it for the first time today, and I lost myself in his eyes. It
was so tender and full of love that I had no idea we had been at
it for over an hour, until I had recovered from the orgasm. That
was the first time he ever came from having me inside him and
he was ecstatic.

     It was time for a shower and dressing for dinner. Li was as
shy and blushing as if we had done it for the very first time. I fell
in love with him all over again. I have no idea what we looked
like when we went downstairs, but everyone began to grin, like a
table full of Cheshire cats, as soon as they saw us. No one
mentioned what had happened that morning, ever again. After
dinner I asked Chang if he would take us shopping tomorrow. I
thought it was too much to ask Li to do all the walking and bus
travelling that I was used to. Chang was agreeable and I rang
Mum to tell her everything was OK and we would be going
shopping before we went home. That night Li and I just spooned
and slept like babies. I woke to the most tender little kisses he
has ever given me (I know that is ambiguous, but I think both
meanings are right).

     I bought two robes, for each of us. I thought it would be a
good idea since we had to go into the passage to get to the
bathroom, at our house. I also bought two sets of coat hooks, so
they would always be handy, hanging on the door.  Chang
dropped us at home.

     Li's lack of maturity, both physical and emotional, posed a
problem. How was I to keep him from getting bored or
depressed while I was doing my usual chores? It was something
I had not thought about when I made the decision that he would
live at our place. I decided we should discuss it before I made
lunch. It was a bit futile. He could not see where it was a
problem because he insisted he was far less bored being with
me than he would have been at his place. We had walked down
to the local shopping centre, we had gone swimming, and he
had learned how to use a vacuum cleaner. These were much
more interesting things than he would have been doing at home.
At home he would have just been waiting for Father, Mother, or
Chang to be going somewhere that he could go, so that he
could get out of the house. Besides, he had been with me and
he enjoyed that just as much as I did. I gave up and decided to
seek my Guides advice. Li helped me hang out the load of
washing I had put in before lunch, but I only let him watch and
practise a little as we finished the weeks cleaning. I felt that his
being overtired had made his reaction to the pool incident,
much worse than it needed to be. There was only the lawn left,
of my jobs. What should we do with Friday? While I prepared the
vegetables I asked Li.

      "What about we go Christmas shopping tomorrow?"

      "I have never done that before. Father just gives me
presents. I've never bought presents for other people."

     "I've always bought presents for people, even though I don't
believe in Christmas."

      "I don't believe in Christmas because I'm a Buddhist, but I
thought you were a Christian."

      "Well, I suppose it depends on how you define a Christian.
Most of the Churches would call me a heathen or an atheist
because I don't go along with all their guff. I do believe that
Jesus lived and I do believe he brought something of great
importance in understanding the Almighty, or God as they
prefer, I just think they have managed to turn it arse about in the
last two thousand years. I have never asked my Spirit Guide
about it because it isn't that important to me. I think of myself as
a Christian because, I like to think, I believe in what he was
trying to teach, not in what the Churches are trying to teach
me."

     "We go along with it because it is the custom in this country,
and people would feel upset if Father did not observe
Christmas, but it has no other meaning for us. What do you
think this Jesus was trying to teach, if it was not what the
Christians say it is?"

     "In many ways it is not much different to what the Buddhists
teach. I think the biggest difference is that he was talking about
a personal relationship with the Eternal and Buddhists think in
terms of being absorbed into the Eternal. I would have to ask my
Guide, but I think that the difference is more in words than in
fact. Buddhists use the word compassion when they translate
their writings into English, as far as I can see; they mean exactly
the same as Jesus did when he talked about love. Anyway,
Christmas is a great big fake, and it was from the start. They
brought it in to counter the pagan mid-winter feasts not because
it was when Jesus was born."

     "If you don't believe in Christmas, why do you celebrate it?"

     "I suppose it's because Dad was always so big on Christmas
and Easter. They were the only times he ever went to Church,
but he made a big fuss about them. I sometimes suspected it
was a big act but I never was game enough to ask him. I don't
know why he made a big thing out of them, because Grandma
was a Spiritualist and used to take me along to meetings
whenever I wanted to go. Perhaps he thought he had to do that
because of his work. I miss going to Spiritualist meetings but I
can't go without an adult, it's the law, and Mum isn't into that
sort of thing. I suppose we'll celebrate the way we always have,
but I'd better ask Mum after dinner. We can decide then."

     We decided that we would celebrate Christmas in the usual
way. Mum would make a big dinner of all my favourite things,
since it would be a combination birthday and Christmas feast.
It's a nuisance having your birthday only two days before
Christmas. Other people get two sets of presents but I only ever
got one. Everyone said it was a combined present but they
never spent twice as much, and they would have if they had
been separate.

     Li and I went shopping. We caught the bus into the city and
had a wonderful time. I can only remember two of the things we
bought, mainly because we were buying presents just to let
people know that we cared about them, not because they
needed them, but we bought things Li thought they would like. I
bought Mum a big bottle of a floral Guerlaine perfume. Someone
had given her a little sample of it, years before, and I always
loved the smell of it. I thought it was perfect on her. That was
the most expensive thing we bought. The other present that
sticks in my mind was a Lladro Siamese cat. We gave that to
Mother and, the last time we were at your Grandmother's, it still
held pride of place in her china cabinet, even in front of some of
the beautiful things Father bought her. Li and I did not buy
presents for each other; we both felt it was too much like buying
a present for yourself.

     We caught a taxi home and had a wonderful time wrapping
and labelling everything. We refused to let Mum anywhere near
the bedroom until everything was done. Li was almost dancing
with excitement and I had trouble calming him down enough to
sleep. I had to give him a fairly rough ride, I made him sit on it
and do all the work until I could feel him start to get tired, then I
finished off. Then, half an hour later, he needed to be pleasured
again with my finger and mouth. Finally he was ready for sleep,
and I spooned him. He made so much noise, that night; that I am
sure Mum must have heard him, but she never let on, that she
did.

     Saturday. Lawns.  I had to satisfy Li between my workout and
mowing, so I really needed that shower. Chang came before we
had finished lunch, so we sat him down with a drink while he
waited.  Li wanted us to take the presents home, but I reminded
him that Christmas fell on Wednesday and we would be able to
take them then. I asked Mum about Christmas dinner since we
would be at Wongs and she told me not to worry she would
work it all out with Lin. When we got to the Wongs there was
organised chaos. People were rushing about trying to hide
things before Li and I saw them and Mother was busy
organising the catering for Father's Christmas party for his
office employees. The party for his car dealerships would be
held on Christmas Eve, but the office party was tomorrow.

     Li and I discretely retired to our bedroom. We gave them the
excuse that they would be able to finish what they were doing,
without us being in the way. The truth was that Li needed
reassurance. He was feeling worried that he might have made a
mistake in choosing the gifts and that they might be rejected. I
had to tell him that they were from both of us and that I was just
as much to blame as he was if they were not right. I also pointed
out that no one was expecting anything from him, because he
had never bought them anything before, so it would be a
complete surprise and I thought he could give them almost
anything and they would feel special. We ended up in bed for an
hour and I pleasured him, his testicles were definitely more
tender and his bag was bigger. My little Li was beginning to
grow. He wanted to suck me and I let him, even though it would
take me longer to cum tonight, as I always enjoy that best. We
played a Pac-man game on the computer, with Li sitting on my
lap, and then went down.

       During dinner, Father told us all that we had to be ready by
11.00 am as we were going to the Company Christmas Party
(Yes you could almost hear the capitals as he was talking) and
he wished to be there early to make sure every detail was
correct. Well, he didn't actually say that, but that was the
impression I got. Chang would take Li and me and would pick
up Leanne. The others would go in his car. The LTD was
Mother's car. Li and I stayed to watch some TV; he was not as
needy as he often is. We went to bed at the same time as Ping
and Min. I was concerned that I would not get hard enough to be
able to spoon him so, when I was getting close, I put a towel
under our hips and went from behind. I made sure he came with
my fingers and I just stayed in him while we went to sleep.

     The next morning I had an hour to meditate before Li began
to wake. We would have to wait; I could hear Chang in the
bathroom. I had time so I took him, he was all soft and sleepy
and cuddly, but he squirmed a lot when he came. Then I took
him in for our shower. I made sure he had his palest blue silk
shirt and his dark blue trousers on; it's one of my favourites on
him. I wore my maroon outfit; the trousers are so dark they look
almost black. Father had told us that he and Chang would be
wearing suits but he thought we could be more casual. Ping
gave us a wolf whistle when we went down. Father and Mother
smiled indulgently and Chang asked us if we were trying to
make Leanne feel like a frump. (You probably don't know what a
frump is, and I don't know the latest American slang for
someone who is old fashioned, or poorly dressed). I told Chang
that I didn't think Leanne could ever look like a frump, even if
she were wearing a tent. That got them all laughing.

     We had to wait for Leanne. Why is it that women are never
ready, even when they know exactly what time you will be
there? She had a floral dress on and certainly didn't look
frumpish. We managed to get to the Jade Palace reception
centre before the first of the guests. I think Father would have
been very upset if we had been late, because he formed us all
into a reception line. That was when I realised he was trying to
get Chang and Leanne together, he stood them next to himself
and Mother, then Ping and Min, where he could keep an eye on
them, Then Li and myself. He told me that I had the place Chang
usually occupied. He thought I would give the guests a good
impression as they finished the line of the receiving committee.
Chang told me later, that father regarded it as the second most
important position in the line. I did not realise what an honour
he was giving me, but I am sure all his Chinese and many of his
Australian guests knew.  The party was not just for staff but also
for clients, suppliers and anyone Father thought ought to be
cultivated.

     The reception room was big but it was also very full. There
was only just room for the waiters to move between the seats.
Ping and Min sat at Fathers table, but Chang and Leanne hosted
another table and Li and I a third table. Father had, thoughtfully,
seated the Deng's, the Fong's, and their children at our table, so
that I had some people I knew. This was the first time Li had sat
separately from his mother and father, he was feeling very
proud. I have no idea how many courses were served. When
father entertained he pulled out all the stops. Chang is just the
same now he is in charge, and I am still last in the line, although
Ping has had that honour on the few occasions I have not been
able to attend. Li refuses to take that spot since he says it is
mine, even if I am not there.

     There was a lot of table hopping, and I got introduced to so
many people my head was in a whirl, fortunately Li knew quite a
lot of them from previous banquets. Some of them became good
friends, but that was still in the future. That day I was having a
hard enough time not mixing up their names. I finished a
conversation with some old biddy (I think she supplied
temporary office staff) and found Li talking to an elderly man,
with a twinkle in his eye, who seemed to have known Li forever.
As it turned out he had been at Li's Buddhist ceremony for
blessing infants to keep them from harm. He was Mr Morgan
Senior, of Morgan, Willington and Banks, the firm that did all of
Father's legal work. He was semi retired, and most of the work
he left to his son, but he was always invited to any of Fathers
functions, and always came. He obviously had a soft spot for Li
and Li had one for him. Li introduced me, very shyly and very
quietly, almost whispering in his ear.

     "Uncle Don, this is Jeremy. He is my husband now, and he is
my other half." He showed him the Yin-Yang pendant.

     "So you are the famous Jeremy Irons. I thought I would have
to bail you out of jail for what you did to Brydon's boys. Mind
you, it was about time something like that happened. I hear
you're very handy with your fists."

     The Fongs were almost on the edge of their seats trying to
hear what we were saying. I was so embarrassed I was blushing,
and almost hid my face in Li's shirt.

      "Don't be upset Jeremy. Uncle Don is only joking, he's not
mad at you. I always know when he's joking; he has that look in
his eye, even when he says terrible things. Please, my Jeremy,
don't be upset."

     The last part was said in such a pitiful voice that I had to
reassure him. I hugged him to me and kissed his cheek. The
smile came back into his voice.

     "Please don't tease him Uncle Don. He hates being teased."

     "I'm sorry Jeremy. I should have more sense at my age. I was
very thoughtless. Will you forgive me?"

     "Of course I will Mr Morgan. I'm sorry for behaving so badly."

    "Rubbish! I was at fault, and now that you have my little Li,
I'm your Uncle Don, too. Mr Morgan is my son."

      "Thank you sir."

     "Thank you Uncle Don." He was insistent.

     "Thank you Uncle Don."

     "That's better. I want to talk to you some more, but it will
have to be another day. I want to know what it is about you that
has won the hearts of my two favourite Wongs."

     "And Mother and Chang too."

     "Really?"

     "Yes." Giggle giggle.

     "Well I shall certainly have to investigate this in the near
future, young Li, but right now there are some other people I
want to see. Lovely to meet you Jeremy."

     With that, he was up and off. I didn't even have time to say
goodbye. He didn't manage to get back to us that day, or for
another few months. But when he did it was under rather
unusual circumstances.

     The banquet finally ended, and we all waddled out to the
cars, well those of us who had over-eaten waddled. I told Li I
had eaten so much I didn't know if I would be able to do
anything to him tonight. He was so upset at the thought I had to
jump in quickly and tell him I was only joking, even though it
was only half a joke. I had to give him loving reassurances all
the way home. When we got home Father was in a really good
mood. He told Chang he had done his usual excellent job and
told me that many people had made a point of telling him how
impressed they were with me, including Uncle Don. Mr Morgan
had told him I was fascinating, a mixture of self-confidence and
shyness that he had never seen before. He did tell Father that,
whatever else I was, I was good for Li. He had never seen him so
happy, since he started school. (Li insisted I put that bit in,
otherwise I wasn't being fair). We did not stay up late; everyone
was tired. After a light meal Li and I went to bed. The others
were not far behind. I did manage to satisfy my sweetness, and
get it hard enough to spoon. Although his pressing against my
stomach was not very comfortable, it was what he needed, so I
put up with it.

     In the morning, I was up early. I needed to get rid of the
results of yesterdays banquet. Father heard me and called me. It
was just as well I had bought robes for here as well as home.
Our wedding robes were far too precious to use around the
house. He told me he was leaving for work but he did not want
to go before he had wished me happy birthday. Mother would
show me where my present was when I came down for
breakfast, but not to open it until I got home. I went upstairs and
woke my love with nibbles and kisses. He wanted to snuggle
and we did, until the pressure on both his trigger points became
too much for him. When he had relieved himself we made love at
a leisurely rate. Neither of us was in a hurry to eat.  Chang drove
us home, and he had a real smirk on his face when he saw me
trying to work out what was in the box. Li kept giggling every
time he saw it. He was trying hard not to give away what was
inside. His father must have told him some time yesterday.

     Mum had left for work when we arrived, and there was a note.

     "The house cleaners will be arriving at 10.00 am. Keep out of
their way. When they have finished, unscrew the legs from the
table and put it, and the dining room chairs in the spare
bedroom. The hired table and chairs should be arriving at about
3.30 pm. Leave the washing until tomorrow. Shower and change,
we will be going out for dinner.
 Love Mum."

     Chang waited while I read the note; he was obviously waiting
for me to open my birthday present from Father.  I looked at
them both; Li was almost beside himself with glee. Inside the
box were a beautiful jade Buddha, two brass candlesticks, and a
matching incense holder. Underneath that was a small square
table with screw in legs, a large embroidered cloth, candles and
incense.

    "To Our Dearest Jeremy
          Happy Birthday. Your mother says you do not have a
special place to meditate. We thought you would like to set one
up for Li and yourself, since you so obviously enjoy the one you
have at our house. This is not your Christmas present. With love
and affection.
Your second Mother and Father."

     It got to me. I really didn't care who knew it, right at that
moment. I had tears in my eyes and I wasn't ashamed of them. I
handed Chang the note and gave him a great big hug. He
hugged me back, and I could feel the brotherly affection in him.
Chang handed the note to Li and I took Li and sat on a chair with
him on my lap.

     "It's so wonderful to be loved so much. I don't know why I
deserve this, but it's too wonderful for me to complain. I
sometimes think this is all a dream, and if it is, I never want to
wake up."

     "Don't cry Jeremy, Daddy loves you just as much as he loves
me." I had never heard him call his father "Daddy" before, and I
could feel the bond that there was between the two of them.

     "My darling, I'm crying because I didn't think it was possible
for anyone to be as happy as I am right now. So many wonderful
things have happened since I first met you, and now I find out
just how much Mother and Father love me too. I'm just so full of
joy, that I'll burst if I don't cry."

      "You'd better not burst, the cleaners will be here any minute.
Dry your eyes little brother and pull yourself together. There's
work to be done." He patted us both on the head and left.

      Isn't it funny the way we respond to emotions? I have hardly
ever seen Li cry, except when he's been hurt, or if he thinks I am
in pain. I have seen him giggle hysterically or slump into
depression, but hardly ever cry. I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry
when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad and I have even been known
to cry without really knowing why. People have told me that
when I shut my emotions away, that is the time to start worrying,
as I am liable to explode without warning. I try very hard to avoid
that.

     When the cleaners came we went out on the patio, to get out
of the way. It didn't seem long before we were shunted into the
lounge room while they cleaned the patio and even the garden
furniture. They told us the carpet should be dry by 3.00 pm and
left. I made lunch and then set about putting the furniture away.
The hire firm arrived at 3.00 pm and it was Mr Gillingham, whom
I had met at the banquet. He apologised for being early and I
told him it was no problem as the carpet should be dry. The
table they brought easily accommodated the ten chairs, but it
was a squeeze to get it all into the dining room. We had a nice
little chat before he left, and he gave Li a hug, he had known Li a
long time. He didn't actually say he knew we were together but I
could feel that he did know, and he just wasn't telling. I was
wondering why Mum was going to need all those chairs.

      When I was pleasuring Li, I tried to get him to tell me what
his "daddy" had bought me for Christmas. He refused. He was
having a wonderful time keeping secrets from me. I thought I
had guessed, I had seen him looking at my wrist where my
watch should have been, but I didn't let on, he was enjoying
himself too much. We showered and dressed. I picked out an
emerald green shirt to go with his black trousers and I wore a
gold shirt. I had better remind you of just how hot it is around
Christmas. You don't need more than a shirt even after dark. In
fact it was best to wear a shirt in the daytime, not just to avoid
sunburn, this was the time when we were first becoming aware
of the hole in the ozone layer and the dangers it brought.

      Mum came home and freshened up. She put on a rather
slinky evening frock and I could not resist asking her what she
was dressing up for, she certainly was not wearing it for me.
She would not say, and she would not say where we were going.
She was keeping a lid on her feelings, as well. We pulled up at a
rather fancy Italian restaurant, and there were two familiar
Mercedes sitting in the parking lot. Li got exited as soon as he
spotted them. Father had organised this and I found out Mum
was organising Christmas.

      We were conducted to a large table at the rear, and everyone
stood up and started clapping as soon as they saw us. Leanne
was there with Chang, and I soon let her know how pleased I
was that she was there.  There was a strange man at the table,
who turned out to be Mr Willington of Morgan, Willington and
Banks. I had expected him to be older but he seemed to be a few
years younger than Mum. He talked to me a lot during the
evening and I could feel he was trying to make a good
impression on me.

     Since he was not able to hide his feelings, I soon discovered
that he and Mum had been meeting when I was at the Wongs. He
had two children, girls, both were older than me. His wife had
died of cancer about four years ago. He was aware, unofficially,
as were all the Partners, of the real situation between Li and me,
and he had no uncomfortable feelings about it. He was more
cautious about the legal problems that could arise. He knew that
he and Mum had no chance of getting together if Mum had the
slightest hint that I would not accept him. I told him he seemed
like a nice person and I hoped we could be friends. I could feel
the relief rush through him, like a shot of some drug. Mum was
sitting on the other side of him and she was pleased.

     Mother, being an incorrigible matchmaker, had engineered
their meeting the week before the wedding. Ostensibly it was to
talk unofficially and hypothetically about the legal problems if Li
and I were found out. Things had progressed from there, to
where they were beginning to get serious, but Mum had said, I
had to approve before she would let it go any further. They did
end up marrying towards the end of the year I turned eighteen.

     I didn't spend all my time talking to him; there were lots of
things to talk about, as well as a lot of eating to do. Because it
made Li so happy I tried pumping everybody about what I was
getting for Christmas. No one would tell me a thing, and Li was
so tickled by my efforts that he was almost peeing in his pants.
He had to go several times more than anyone else. Everyone
else was enjoying it too, but not as much as Li. Seeing Li like
that made the effort, of pretending I hadn't guessed, well
worthwhile. We finished off with a huge chocolate sponge cake,
covered in cream and with sixteen candles. Chang, Leanne,
Ping, Min, Li and I all had seconds so there was not much left. I
insisted that Mr Willington took it home for his girls, and he was
very pleased.

     When we got home Mum pulled me aside.

     "I know you have guessed what you are getting, you let it
slip. I found your broken one when I noticed you weren't
wearing it. You never gave anyone but me the slightest hint. You
have gone out of your way to make everybody happy tonight, as
your birthday gift to us. You have especially tried to make three
people very happy. I am even surer now, that you and Li belong
together. You have shown the sweet side of yourself that you
kept hidden for so long. In fact I'm having trouble remembering
that you have another side to you. Don't lose the sweet side
ever again. I love you darling."

     "Your welcome Mum. You deserve to have a special someone
too. I like him, I hope he is the right one for you."

     We had a hug and a kiss and then I went to find Li. He was
sitting on the bed waiting for me. I kissed him and I could feel
that he wanted to be babied, so I told him what a good little boy
he was and asked if he would like his big brother to undress him
and tuck him into bed. I treated him like he was six years old
and he loved it.  When I got in, he reverted to being just a few
weeks short of fourteen, and wanted what no six year old would
think of. It was a wonderful ending to a marvellous day.

     Tuesday there was the washing to do. It was fine and hot so
the washing dried quickly, I got all three loads washed and dried
in the day. There was nothing left for later in the week. I made
tuna casserole for dinner.

     When Mum came in she sent me out to the car to carry in the
groceries. There were bags and bags of goodies. The cooler box
weighed a ton. Inside was a huge piece of pork that would
barely fit into the oven. We had to take out all the spare shelves
and put it on the lowest slide. Mum had to look in all the
cupboards to find a baking tray that was big enough to take it.
We only ever use that tray at Christmas. I love roast pork and I
love having some in the fridge for sandwiches. I had to
reorganise the fridge so there would be enough room to put it
in, we needed to part cook it that night, either that or Mum had
to get up before the chickens to set it going. Mum sent us to bed
she said we were in her way.

     Christmas morning I decided against a workout and
scrubbed, what I thought would be enough potatoes and carrots
for ten people. I was just making Mum her first cup of coffee
when the doorbell rang. Mum answered it and she did not seem
surprised. Chang had been all the way up to the hills and
brought Grandma for the day. I was delighted, it is a long trip
and I just couldn't thank Chang enough for making the effort. I
could feel he was pleased at how happy he was making me.
Although we spoke a lot on the 'phone, we did not get to see
Grandma much. Chang said he would be back in an hour to pick
us up. Grandma produced an apron and shooed me off to get
dressed, but not before she gave me a thankyou kiss for doing
all the vegetables. Li was awake and I told him what was
happening. We had a nice "quickie" and I washed the smelly
bits of us both, and we cleaned our teeth. We could shower later
but I didn't want to offend Grandma with the smell of sex.

     We had a quick breakfast and were ready for Chang. Mum
gave him two parcels to take, they were hers and Grandma's
Christmas presents, to Li and me. She did not want them
opened until after everything else. I gave Mum and Grandma
their presents and told them they were not to open them until
they were sitting down with a cuppa.

     We gave all the Wongs their presents and got some from
Ping, Min and Chang. Ping and Min gave us records but Chang
gave us matching winter jackets. Red around the shoulders,
then a band of light grey, then gunmetal grey, with a red hood
and light grey collar and cuffs. He said we would soon need
them. When Li saw them he started wriggling with excitement.
Everyone was happy with what we gave them, and that made Li
more comfortable, but he could hardly contain his excitement. I
pretended I did not notice.

       Father produced a huge box and told me that the presents,
for Li and me, were in it. Li said I was the "husband" and
refused to help me open it. It must have taken me five minutes
to find what was in the box. Everyone was having a wonderful
time watching me, and it was not just Li producing the chorus of
giggles. There were flat parcels wrapped in paper which, when
they were opened, turned out to be newspaper. There was a load
of scrunched up paper, and finally, near the bottom, there was a
small hard parcel, which turned out to be a box. Inside were two
watch boxes.

     The watch they had chosen for Li was a slim, small, square
one. Not too expensive, but certainly not cheap. I put it on him
and it looked exactly right, for him. The one they had chosen for
me was a waterproof diving watch, with all sorts of functions. I
could wear it in the pool with no worries, and it should take the
rough treatment I had been giving my watches lately. I hugged
Father and then I hugged Mother and gave her a kiss on the
cheek. She went all coy, but she loved it. I picked Li up and
danced him around the room. Finally Chang brought out the two
boxes from Mum. She and Grandma had given us matching blue
and grey windcheaters. They would be useful for school, as it
often gets very windy in the afternoon, in autumn and spring.
After I was sure everyone knew just how pleased I was with
everything, we went up to get ready for Christmas dinner,

      Australians are stark staring mad. On a day when the
temperature is 38 degrees Centigrade (100 F) in the waterbag,
we still sit down to a traditional roast midday meal at Christmas.

     Li wanted more than my mouth, and propped himself up on a
pillow, as soon as his clothes were off. I was so happy I gave in,
but I told him he would have to be satisfied with a suck tonight
as, otherwise, I would get too sore. He was delightful, and we
melted together into oneness. Chang knocked on the door from
the bathroom and told us to hurry up as he was leaving to get
Leanne. We hurried and were down before Father started getting
impatient.

      Father had wanted to give Mum a new Ford as a present, but
I had sounded Mum out on his behalf, and it would have made
her feel too uncomfortable. They gave Grandma a handbag from
some "fancy label" maker, and gave Mum a necklace of
alternating garnets and pearls with a big pearl in the centre. I
thought it must have cost nearly as much as the car, but Mum
accepted it.

     Dinner was another marathon. I carved the roast and made
sure everyone had plenty. There were lots of different
vegetables. There were nuts and sweets and little bon-bons.
Grandma had brought a pudding with her and Mum had made a
boiled fruit cake. Everyone was full. No one would want more
than soup for tea.  Mum and Grandma didn't need to ask if I had
liked my presents, everyone's pleased reaction to my little act
was leaking out everywhere. Mind you, the surprise was the only
part that was an act. I went to give Mum a thank you kiss, after
dinner, and she was wearing the perfume.

      "Mmmm. You smell just the way you used to when I was
little."

     "I thought that was why you bought it. When you were seven
you used to come and smell me whenever I wore it. I knew you
loved it. I was sorry when that bottle ran out."

     For a moment I was afraid I had given her the wrong perfume.
I thought I might have chosen what I would like instead of what
she would like. Grandma was feeling it suited Mum perfectly and
Mum was feeling proud and pleased, so I relaxed. We sat around
for a while before we went back to Wongs. Before we left, Chang
told Grandma he would pick her up in the morning and take her
home. I thought we might go for a drive but Chang was insistent
that we should go home and then he would take Leanne home. It
was getting more serious between them but we were not to
know. He took Leanne with him when he drove Grandma home.
But again I was not supposed to know. I did make sure he
understood just how much I appreciated the effort he had made
for Mum and me to have such a happy Christmas. That made
him very happy. I think it made him happier than our Christmas
present.

      Chang did not take us home until after ten a.m. and he had
Leanne with him. I said goodbye to Grandma and she was telling
me on our "private line" how happy she was for me. Mum must
have told her about my inheriting the gift. Not one of the
important people in my life was uncomfortable about me being
gay. I realised, years after, when I heard some of the stories
other people told, just how unusually blessed Li and I were. We
put a cooler box, with some of the leftovers, in the boot and they
were off.

     There was no cleaning to be done Mum and Grandma must
have worked like demons.

     "Mum, what about a day off? I reckon you've earned it. What
about I take us all to lunch and we go to the pictures or
something?"

     The suggestion was accepted, and we set off for an enjoyable
day in town. Mum parked in a long-term station, since we both
felt it was a bit risky leaving the car on the street. Li was in
heaven, he had only been to see a film when Chang had taken
the younger ones for a treat, and Mother and Father never went.
As a special present we both told him he could pick whatever he
wanted to see. There was a re-run of Star Wars on and he
wanted that. There was a Chinese restaurant called Sun Hing
near the theatre. The two golden dragons on red pillars at the
front caught Li's eye, so I suggested we have dinner there. It
was quite good but not up to Jade Palace standard, mind you
neither were the prices. Everyone was satisfied we had had a
good day and we went home happy.

     The next few weeks settled into a pattern and we all became
comfortable with living together. Father had the garage
converted, just the way I wanted it. I started Li on some of the
stretching and flexibility exercises I had done when I first
started at Aikido. He spent more time watching me than he did
doing his own exercises, but it was getting him into that way of
thinking, so I was happy with that for a start. He was getting
used to more exercise, and he was beginning to grow, so the
physical changes were faster than usually expected. Most
people did not notice them for many more months, but I was
attuned to my Li and I noticed every little thing. Soon it was Li's
birthday.

     Father gave us both a present for Li's birthday, two Chinese
style workout uniforms. They are not canvas, although they are
still strong, and they are black.  Li's birthday was on a Friday,
and Father took us to the Happy Gathering restaurant for his
dinner. It was much less formal and he invited the Dengs and
the Fongs, as well as Mum and Charles Willington. Li was made
the centre of attention by everyone and he blossomed with
confidence. It was the first hint I had of what he would later
become, and I was delighted. Mind you I have always been
biased where Li is concerned.

     Father announced that, thanks to Mr Fong's intervention with
his brother, a "gwai lo" would be allowed to attend the martial
arts classes run by the All China Society. Li was eligible for
Aikido classes, which had been adopted by the Chinese along
with Buddhism, but I was to attend what we westerners call
Kung Fu classes, which were held next door. The real name is
almost impossible for me to write phonetically, so ask your
father. They were very traditional, and resisted teaching
outsiders of any race. Since most Chinese, especially in
Australia, are bi-lingual at least, he had agreed to teach in both
Chinese and English. I told Mr Fong I was delighted, as I would
get to learn more Cantonese. He was impressed that a "ghost
person" would want to learn a foreign language, since there was
still a lot of resistance in Australia to speaking anything but
English. That has changed a lot, over the years. I have never
been much good at foreign languages, but I collect them the
way some people collect ornaments. The best thing about this
was that they were held at almost the same time and in two
adjoining halls, so Li and I could attend together.

       Li must have told his mother or father how much he enjoyed
my birthday cake because we finished with a chocolate sponge
with fourteen candles. There were too many kids present for any
to be left over. It was the first time Li had had a birthday cake,
and all the younger ones approved.

     The classes were on a Saturday afternoon, so Chang took us
directly there from Mum's, I barely had time to recover from
lawn mowing before we were leaving so, when I had to mow the
lawns, every week in winter, I skipped the morning workout. The
first class was the week before school began. Li was very tired
afterwards but his Master was a Buddhist priest and he was very
gentle and kind. Li loved him. Mr Fong was my Master, and he
was relentless. I was in better condition than most of the pupils
and even I found it tiring. He did not just teach empty hand
fighting, he also taught sword work and staff work. The Chinese
are more oriented towards flexibility than the Koreans, who are
more into strength. Not that either is for wimps or weaklings. I
liked the heavier emphasis on using Chi and soon found it
better than Tae Kwan Do for me. My biggest problem was that
years of strength work had reduced my flexibility. Nevertheless
Mr Fong was pleased at how quickly I adapted and so was his
assistant who, I later learned, was a Deng.

     I started half an hour before Li so I sat and watched the last
half hour of his class. I was glad of the rest. I enjoyed watching
them, even if it was not suitable for me. I was glad I had started
with Aikido, and could appreciate the skill of their Master in both
instructing and performing. I must have been sending my
approval because he paused and looked at me. I blushed and
looked away, but not before I caught the smile on his face. When
the class was finished he walked over to me and said.

      "You must be Jeremy. I have heard many things about you,
but now I see you for myself I understand why there are some
strange stories about you. Be at peace. I will teach your Li with
great care. He is a willing and clever pupil, and will soon
become proficient."

     "I know you will, Master, and I was admiring your own skill. I
am sorry for interrupting you, it will never happen again."

      "It was nothing, be calm. I was surprised, that is all. I am not
used to meeting "gwai lo" with that skill. If it happens again I will
not be surprised so calm yourself. You know much about
mastering your body and your mind, but there is still much more
you could learn. Perhaps we will talk more on this another day.
You can always find me at the Temple or at the Monastery, just
ask for Ling."

      "Thank you, Master, I am always willing to learn. I am
privileged to have met you and Li is privileged to have you as
his Master. I will try not to disrupt you classes again." Li had
joined us.

     "You are a powerful force, Jeremy. I can see why Shin Wong
was keen to have you as Li's partner. You must keep good
control of yourself if you are to avoid drawing negative forces to
you. I think you are another who speaks with Spirit, but there are
negative forces who would gladly use you, and distract you or
even divert you from the path of virtue"

     "My Guardian warns me when there is danger of that
happening, and my Guide shows me how to avoid it. I have no
fear of that happening, but I am always willing to learn new and
better ways."

      "You words and your heart are wise, go in peace children."

       Chang was just coming in to find us as we were going out
the door. Li was very tired when we got home and had a nap
before dinner. We went to bed early, but we were not so tired
that we did not enjoy each other before sleep. The next morning
I had to work hard to persuade him to get out of bed and work
out. I decided to consult Master on which exercises to drop and
which new ones to add. Li may have been unenthusiastic about
working out but he was enthusiastic about our other morning
pastime and he was very noisy. Fortunately Ping and Min's
bedrooms were on the other side of the house. We celebrated
our last day of freedom by going down to the Botanic Gardens
for a picnic. Mum and the Willingtons joined us, and we were
introduced to the two Willington girls, Jessie and Freda. I was
curious about their rather old fashioned names but I didn't ask,
since it seemed a bit rude. Charles and Mum seemed to be
getting on well, which made me happy for her. The two girls
were having a hard time adjusting to the changes, but seemed
willing enough. I did not think there would be any problems
there, as long as they took plenty of time. They were having a
much harder time adjusting to Li and me. I don't think they had
met anyone who was gay before. They were also a bit
uncomfortable with Chinese people. It seemed as if they had
been kept in some sort of isolation, and grown up without ever
knowing anyone different from themselves. A bit of reality would
do them no harm. All their father had told them was that Li and I
were best friends. They didn't need to know any more.

     The first day of school, I abbreviated my workout because Li
needed reassurance and that was best done in bed. I gave him a
vigorous workout and got his mind off the past. He hadn't been
without bullying and teasing for long enough for the bad
memories of school to have faded. It was a different story the
next year. Chang drove us to school since University orientation
did not start until Wednesday.

     Everything was the same as last year, with two exceptions. Li
was treated well by everyone, including the teacher with the bad
mouth, and all the kids were much friendlier towards us. We
even ended the term with a couple of genuine friends. They are
still friends today. By the end of the first few weeks everyone
seemed to accept that if they saw Li, I would not be far away,
and the other way around.  I plodded through the work and Li
flew through his, as usual.

     Li made a special friend of Jeffery. He refused to be called
Jeff since that was his father's name. They just seemed to hit it
off after the first few weeks. I met Oren, who was attending our
school to do years 11and 12. He had been at a private church
school, which only went to year 10. I helped him find his way
around for the first few days and our friendship just grew from
there. I thought he would be a bigot, coming from a church
school, but he turned out to be one of the most tolerant of
people. He had been to a Society of Friends school, people often
refer to them as Quakers, and they left you free to follow your
own conscience. I quietly probed both of them on several
occasions and they both were girl oriented, but they had no
problem with Li and me being gay, probably because they were
both strongly girl oriented and had very little attraction to boys,
in that way. Over the years I have found the worst homophobes
to be those who are attracted nearly equally to girls and boys.
They seem to be frightened by being attracted to boys and deny
it by attacking others to draw attention away from themselves.
>From then on it was not unusual for us to have either Jeffery or
Oren, or both, with us when we went somewhere, such as the
pictures. We were never much into pinball or video arcades,
although we sometimes went when one or the other invited us.

     The weeks plodded by, with everyone feeling more and more
comfortable with each other, both at home and at school. Then it
was time for April holidays. Autumn is a nice time of year, as it
is not too hot. The only annoyance is that the winds start getting
up. Two weeks is not much time for doing anything and neither
Li nor I were used to going away on camps or trips, so it was a
surprise when Oren invited me to spend two weeks with him in
the family cottage near one of the northern beaches. He knew I
was a keen swimmer. I thought about it until the next morning
and then took the risk, and told Oren I never went anywhere
without Li. Of course I had to explain. I swore him to secrecy,
and probed unashamedly to make sure he was sincere when he
promised.  I also told him that our Aikido and Kung Fu classes
were still on during the holidays and that we did not want to
miss them. He seemed more shocked that I was doing a violent
martial art than he was by our living arrangements. He knew
about Aikido and approved of it but Kung Fu was violence, and
he disapproved of that.

       I was shocked that he did not know I was into martial arts. I
was not his only friend at school, he had become reasonably
popular, and most of his other friends had been here during last
year and knew what had happened. I told him I was amazed that
no one had told him about me, and he said that all they had told
him was that I was a very good person to have as a friend. Now
he could understand what they had meant, and he could
understand why they were all a bit cautious around me. I told
him he only knew half the story and to ask them what had
happened last year. When they had told him he could come back
to me and I would tell him the truth. It turned out that the story
his current girlfriend gave him was closest to the truth; some of
the others had me killing people all over the place. I set him
right and made sure he understood I have only ever used it to
protect others or in self-defence. He was not very happy about
me using violence for any reason, but he still stayed my friend.

     The next problem was Jeffery. He had invited Li for a few
days sleepover, during the holidays, and Li did not want to go,
but he was afraid to just say no in case he offended Jeffery and
lost him as a friend. It was such a new experience for him,
having a friend, that he was not sure how to handle it. I pulled
Jeffery aside at lunchtime and told him to walk to the park with
us, after school, and I would discuss it with him then. He
thought it strange that I should be discussing Li's affairs, but he
agreed. I explained to him that Li and I were not just friends we
were boyfriends. You could see the lights go on behind his
eyes. Now a lot of things, which had seemed a bit strange, made
sense.

     Of course there was no problem with Li not wanting to sleep
over now Jeffery understood, and I did not have to explain
things any further. He was happy for Li, since he knew Li was
gay, and he was smart enough to see how lucky Li was both to
have a boyfriend and have one who protected him. It appears
that either the younger kids had told him about my fights, or that
he had been here last year and I had never noticed him. Anyway
it was not a problem for him, and he was not afraid of me. Li was
so happy he gave me a big kiss right in front of Jeffery who just
laughed and looked a bit embarrassed.  So I told Li to behave
himself in public and he just giggled. When Li and Jeffery went
to university, Jeffery often crashed at our house when it was too
far, or too late, for him to go home. He was never uncomfortable
with us.


     We went out a lot more during the holidays. Li was growing
in confidence, although he could still be a little fragile at times.
He was growing physically and had lost that boy look and was
looking like a teenager. He grew into a beautiful man, but as I
have said before, I am biased. Mum, Mother and Father were all
pleased at the changes in him. They gave me most of the credit
but I believe they were short changing Li, since he was the one
who did all the work of changing. My Guide has always told me
that we are responsible for how we react to situations and that
our attitude determines our decisions, and it determines the way
we grow, physically, mentally and spiritually. It is hard work,
changing the way you think, and most people avoid hard work
so they never change. In my work, I have met some people who
still had the attitudes and emotions of twelve year olds, when
they were forty, but were too lazy to change despite their
problems. I may not be the brightest, but I have never been lazy,
and neither has Li.

     During the Wednesday of the last week of the holidays, we
went into the city to see a film. I can't remember what it was
because we never got to see it. We had lunch at Subway, which
had just opened their first shop in our city, so of course we had
to try it. It was to become one of my favourite places for a quick
snack. It was right in the middle of the office section of town,
which is a sensible place for a lunch bar. As we were leaving we
almost ran into four teenagers, one of whom, looked vaguely
familiar. He made a comment to the others about us being a
couple of dirty fags and I could feel the instant leap in hostility
in all of them. I was not confident that Li could handle himself
well enough to be safe so I tucked him behind me.

     They were either very brave or very stupid, because I was
bigger than two of them and as big as the other two. Two of
them threw punches at the same time and I blocked both. They
were not expecting to get their hands bruised on their first
punch, whereas I was expecting bruises. The momentary pause
while their brains registered the hurt was all the edge I needed. I
broke their right collarbone with a quick punch with either hand.
The other two backed off and became scared so they started
calling for the police. There was a foot patrolman nearby and he
came at a run. It turned out he was as homophobic as they were
and he heard their story first, since they were the ones who had
called him. He did not want to hear my side of the story at all
and was going to arrest me for assault with a deadly weapon,
since I was trained in unarmed combat. It was looking very
nasty and there were quite a few onlookers. Then a voice came
from behind me.

     "What appears to be the problem, officer?"

     "Uncle Don." Li squealed.

     "Would you like me to represent you Jeremy?"

     "Yes please Mr Morgan."

     The patrolman must have known who Mr Morgan was
because he began to meticulously take down my statement,
which he had not bothered to do before. I could feel the
apprehension in him.

     "This sounds like a clear case of self defence, why were you
considering it assault with a deadly weapon?"

     "Perhaps I was a little hasty in my initial assessment."

     "I see. What do you intend to do now?"

     "I think I will refer it to my superiors for review."

      "I think that is a wise decision. I can guarantee that neither
of these two will flee from the law. They will be at their home
addresses if you need them, and record me as their legal
representative. Make sure you record Mr Morgan Senior."

     The young officer was almost shaking; he must have known
Mr Morgan's reputation in court was well deserved. He could
demand a fee of more than a thousand dollars a day for
appearing in court when most others could only get fees in the
hundreds. The crowd was dispersing and Uncle Don put his
hands on our shoulders and led us away. The patrolman was
calling for an ambulance for the two who were injured.

     "In case one of Brydon's friends decides to take this further, I
think it would be a good idea if we formalised our legal
relationship. Do you have enough money to pay me a retainer
Jeremy? Any amount over five dollars will do."

     I pulled out my wallet and the first note I saw was a twenty, I
pulled it out and gave it to him.

     "Excellent! Now I have enough to buy you both a drink. I'll
make sure the firm issues a receipt before I go home."

     He led us into a dark doorway in one of the older buildings
and inside was a wonderful Greek coffee house. We talked and
laughed for ages, sipping coffee, and cordial for Li because he
hates coffee. That was when Mr Morgan really became my Uncle
Don, I was bewitched by his wicked sense of humour, but he
never turned it against me. No one turned a hair when I cuddled
Li, he was a bit shaken when we first got there and needed
reassurance. He was soon laughing and joking with us. Uncle
Don always had that effect on Li. We both missed him when he
went over to the other side, but his period of adjustment must
be over because he has begun to appear from time to time, and I
would know that sense of humour anywhere.

     Li was completely recovered by the time we said goodbye
and went home. There was not even an adverse reaction when
we were telling father and mother about it, over dinner. I could
feel father's relief, not just at Uncle Don turning up, but at the
way Li was handling the whole affair. We went up to bed soon
after dinner. Li was so soft and cuddly that I just melted into him
and we were not just joined I think we were fused together for
over an hour. Even after I came, I just stayed inside him and we
kissed and licked and cuddled, with him on top of me.
Eventually I shrank so much I slipped out and we were so far
gone I did not even think about the sheets. I licked his belly
clean and waited till his worm, which was beginning to look
more like a snake now, had lost enough sensitivity for me to
suck it clean. I had trouble getting myself hard enough to spoon
him, but he would not go to sleep until I did, and then he went
out like a light.

     We did not go out again in the last four days of holidays,
unless you call swimming going out. The outdoor pool would
soon close for winter and then I would switch to running. Apart
from the usual things, I spent extra time teaching Li to meditate,
and raise his vibrations to receive clearer messages from Spirit.
There is a big difference between what we were doing and being
a clairvoyant, but I did not know how to explain it at that time,
and both Oren and Jeffery thought we were clairvoyants. I kept
telling them there was a difference but I could not explain myself
well enough for them to believe me.

     It is very hard for most people to grasp that the fifty-dollar an
hour clairvoyant is only interested in telling you things that will
make you happy and recommend more customers. That's not
saying they are all fakes, since there are fakes in every
profession. A Spiritualist is interested in your spiritual growth,
and in confirming the continued existence of our individual
personality, after death. Most spiritualist mediums use
clairvoyance or clairaudience but their aim is quite different to
those who do fortune telling.

     I had difficulty explaining it then, and I find that I still have
difficulty explaining it, and I'm a lot older now. I think the best
way of looking at it is that people go to a psychic to get a
prediction of the future. Will I get a promotion, or will I win
money in the lottery? Spiritualists are not much interested in
that side of things for a couple of reasons. The first one is that
the future is very much dependent on how we behave right now.
The future is not set in stone, except for things like earthquakes
or volcanos erupting, even global warming could have been
prevented if people had taken it seriously at the beginning, but
now we can only prevent it from getting too bad. The future, and
the present, is dependent on a lot of little things, which we don't
think about much, like the law of attraction. If you keep thinking
about violence and anger then that is what you attract to
yourself and if you think about love and openness and
kindness, then that is what you attract to yourself. It's right
there in the Bible, and you know how the bigots love to quote
the Bible, yet they always manage to avoid seeing those
passages.

     The most important reason is that true Spiritualists are
interested in reality. They reject things that are out of touch with
reality and only expect people to believe things, which they have
experienced for themselves or can prove to their own
satisfaction, are true. They are trying to prove to those who
attend their meetings that people really do survive death, and
that they are just in the next room. They try to bring through
messages that show people exactly who they are talking to, and
show them that their loved one has survived death, with all the
peculiarities and quirks of their personality, intact. Often these
loved ones have advice or suggestions, just as they would if
they were still here, but that is all it is. It isn't a command to you
about how to live your life, just a suggestion.  I hope that makes
it clearer for you. Now back to our story.

     Second term was not much different to first term. Summer
sports changed to winter sports, I gave up swimming and took
up cross-country running. Li changed from tennis to running,
just to be with me. It was his first year in running but he was
determined that he would get as fit as I was, and I did running. I
was never a sprinter, either in the pool or on the track. Where I
excelled was in endurance. Unfortunately there were no inter-
school distance events in swimming, but there were in running.
Li was in the junior section, of course, and he was more of a
sprinter, at that time, than an endurance runner. Sport was
always on a Thursday afternoon and the P.E. teacher wanted
him to go into track sprinting, but he refused. Li was getting
much more assertive. The teacher was getting quite hot under
the collar at his stubbornness, and I had to walk across from the
senior squad to remind him that it was not his place to force
anyone to do some sport they did not want to do. I am not sure
whether he gave in so easily because of my reputation, or
because I was the only hope the school had in the fifteen
thousand metre event, we had a couple of five miler's but I was
the only ten miler the school had had in years. He was
apologetic and I told him that it was Li he had to apologise to,
not me. The teacher made a grudging, half-hearted apology, but
I was busy transmitting my pride in him standing up for himself.
Li of course joined the junior squad and soon became an
outstanding runner.

     The first time Li and I went out on a morning run, together, he
managed to last three thousand meters. I ended up carrying
him, on my back, the last mile home. From then on I organised
our route into several loops that passed the house at regular
intervals. Fortunately we had the park at one end of the street
and the Salvation Army Citadel at the other. The Citadel stood
on a huge piece of ground that backed on to the river reserve,
so we did not have to do much running on hard pavement. Li
could just drop off whenever he wanted. As he got fitter the size
of the loops increased but I kept to that basic plan for the next
three winters, until we moved into our own house. The term flew
by and soon it was the July holidays.

     The winter is a lousy time for holidays, it is cold wet and
windy, unless you are lucky enough to go north to Queensland
or Darwin or, luckiest of all Broome. We had no such luck.
Father and Mum were not in a position to take us travelling and
they were not the kind of people who go travelling just for fun.
We were not considered old enough to go without adult
supervision, and so we were not used to thinking about going
away for holidays. Besides, we would have to reveal our secret
if we went with someone who did not already know us.

     Uncle Don was our saviour. He was going to Kalgoorlie to
interview two witnesses for background on some human rights
case he was involved in. He suggested that we could go too,
and have a complete change, and learn something of our history
while we were there.

     Everyone thought that was a good idea, and we went by
plane. We could have gone by train, but Uncle Don was in a
hurry. I was a bit disappointed because I didn't like planes
much, but I loved trains. I got my wish about travelling on the
train, but it was quite a few years later. Uncle Don had his work
to do, but he made sure we enjoyed ourselves. He organised a
couple of tours of the mines for us and they showed us how
they had been underground tunnels in the old days, just like you
think when you say the word "mine", and how they were now
great big open pits with huge machines moving the ore out to
the crushers. Some of the mining is a long way out of
Kalgoorlie, but we didn't go out too far for the tour.

     We had a nice room in the motel, and it was next to Uncle
Don's, so he could work at night and not disturb us. Some days
we just stayed in for most of the day because Li was beginning
to change, and he got embarrassed easily. His voice began to
slide down the scale a little, and it now sounded to me like a
dove cooing and chuckling to its mate. I was so in love with the
sound that I was a bit insensitive to how my darling felt, and
when we stayed in I had to show him that I was still as much in
love with him as I always had been.  We only stayed for six days,
but that was enough. We were glad to get home to our parents.

     Monday was back to school, but we had plenty to tell the
others about our trip, and some were a little bit jealous, but not
too much. The academic grind went on. I wished I had been like
Li, he seemed to just waltz through his work, and nothing was
much of a problem to him. He was growing, and his hands, feet
and dick seemed to start before the rest of him, but he was
lucky, he was not too uncoordinated. I have seen plenty of kids
worse than him, including myself.

     September came around and it was time for the Inter-School
Sports Carnival.  Li was only running to make up the numbers,
and we both knew it. I had to keep reassuring him that next year
would be his year, and he managed not to get too depressed, he
trusted my judgement. My event only had four runners in it, and
it was five laps of a set course. They had planned it well and
there were a couple of fairly steep hills in it. We were allowed to
walk the course before the event, since we did not start until
after lunch and, theoretically, were the last event to finish. They
had set up four observation posts around the course, as well as
the start-finish judges, so we were never out of sight of an
observer.

     I ignored the P.E. teacher waffling on about tactics and
simply asked him what was the fastest time that had been
recorded on this course. I knew my own body better than
anyone else and I knew I could finish as strongly as I had
started, but I could not sprint. I divided the time given me by ten
and got a split with an extra couple of seconds, so I shortened
the time until I got even minutes. That would be my goal, and if I
achieved it I would have set a new record, it also gave me an
easy check on my time at either end of the course.

     Once I had set my mind to my goal, I blocked everyone and
everything out. I withdrew to my centre and concentrated on
breathing in positive energy and breathing out negative energy.
Then it was time for our start. We were pretty even for the first
two laps, but I had set a gruelling pace and one of the
opposition began to lag a little on the third lap. The boy from
Monro College, considered to be my greatest rival, began to
forge ahead. I ignored him, if he could keep up that pace he
deserved first prize. I was right on time by the end of the fourth
lap and we had reeled in most of the lead that Monro College
had gained. The boy from Kesley High and I had passed him
before the back of the fifth, but Kesley was slightly behind me.
We came in First and Second. I had broken the record and he
had equalled it. I could not resist it, I was so pumped up, as he
crossed the line behind me and we received our First and
Second discs from the scurrying judges. I turned and grabbed
him in a hug. We jigged about hugging each other and the
judges had to shoo us off the track. That is how I met Warren
Banks.

     Yes, Warren was the middle son of the Banks, of Morgan
Willington and Banks. From that day forward we became friends
and it grew to be a lifetime friendship. He became our legal
representative after Uncle Don died. Father thought we should
have picked one of the senior partners but Li and I were happy
to have Warren, knowing he had his father to ask if something
was beyond his experience. Li was best man at his wedding and
I was a groomsman. He picked Li as best man because he can
dance and I'm like an elephant on the dance floor. You'd think
that with all my martial arts experience I'd be good at dancing,
but I just can't get the hang of it.

      I wish I could say that all the Banks' were as accepting of us
as Warren, Bradley, his youngest brother, and his father, but it
would be a lie. Mrs Banks and the other two sons treated us as if
we had a contagious disease. It was the same way many people,
these days, treat those who have AIDS, so this is not new. It was
too uncomfortable to be at the Banks house so we tried to meet
elsewhere and I only went there when I was picking Warren up,
and never stayed. Mr Banks was proud of Warren for picking Li
for his best man, but the other three were quite nasty about it. At
least they didn't make a scene on the day. I can only imagine
how nasty they must have been to Warren, when he was living
at home, but he never wavered in his friendship.

     Warren had been hoping to meet me but did not realise that I
was running in his race until the announcement of our positions
at the halfway point. Warren had heard about me from his father
talking at home. The expected fallout from the Brydons had
never materialised because of Father's little ploy, but they had
been expecting fireworks. He was intensely interested in getting
the real story, since his father had only had sketchy information,
not being directly involved. We had plenty of time to kill, while
all the speeches and other rubbish were going on, so I filled him
in on the true story. He told me I was a master of
understatement because his father would never have been so
interested if it had been as low key as I made it out to be. But he
said he understood as he and Uncle Don had been talking and
Uncle Don had said I would never be guilty of overdramatising
anything. The best he could hope for was that I might get within
shouting distance of the real drama. Typical Uncle Don. When Li
could break free of the herd, he came running over to
congratulate us. I had to stop him kissing me right in the middle
of the field. Warren just laughed, and said go for it, but I pointed
out that there were a lot of people out there who would not
agree and I did not want to fight them all. But we still had plenty
of hugs, and Li took a liking to Warren just as quickly as I did.


     The school had won the Carnival for the first time in umpteen
years, and this had even the teachers in a good mood for the
last week of term. Now we had two weeks of holidays and I had
been at the school one year. What a year it had been, but there
was one more drama before the year was finally out. At Aikido,
Master Ling announced he would be going into retreat, and
there would be a substitute teacher for the first Saturday of the
holidays.

     That Saturday I was in the middle of a sword routine, when I
felt something was wrong. I had become almost permanently
tuned in to Li, and it took a conscious effort to turn it off, it was
like the sort of background monitor you keep on your body
when you are running. Something was wrong with Li, he was
getting distressed and the feeling was growing. I just dropped
the wooden swords at my feet and took of at a run. I must have
had that look again, because Master Fong followed me. I hurled
the hall door open with such force that it bounced back at me,
and I had to fend it off as I passed inside. The class all looked
towards the door as I crashed in. The class was gathered
around Li and the substitute teacher, watching a demonstration.
I could feel the contempt in the teacher and the distress in Li,
and in the class. He was making fun of Li's clumsiness.

     Master Ling was so gentle and careful with is class. He never
made fun of anyone, and he was always careful to teach them
that Aikido was simply to defend yourself without causing harm
to your attacker. You were respecting the life force within them,
even while you were defending yourself.

     "What's going on here? Why are you upsetting Li?"

      The substitute looked up, startled and Master Fong tried to
take my arm. He thought he could restrain and command me.

     "Come back to class, it is not your place to interfere with a
Master."

     I threw off his hand and I know I began to snarl. I was as cold
as ice and as hard as stone. I turned to face him and he recoiled
at the expression on my face.

     "NO ONE HURTS LI! Go back! I will deal with this man who
brings dishonour on Master Ling."

      The fear the class felt, when I said that, was palpable. Even
Master Fong was shocked. The substitute was contemptuous.

     "Leave him Master Fong, I will deal with this arrogant boy."

     Chang stood in the doorway, he must have gone shopping or
something, instead of going home.

     "Don't interfere Mr Fong. Jeremy's very dangerous when he's
like this, and he'll attack you if you try to stop him. He won't let
anyone hurt Li."

      Since he had distracted Master, I grabbed the opportunity
and ran straight for Li. He was feeling much relieved now that I
was here, but the man still had hold of his arm. I faked a right to
his shoulder and he turned, bringing his hand up to catch my
arm as it passed. He thought I was arrogant? He had
contemptuously kept hold of Li with one hand, thinking he could
defeat me one handed. My left hand was clawed and, as I pulled
back my right hand before he could catch it, my left caught him
across the bicep of the arm holding Li. Despite his obvious
strength, he did not have enough tension in the muscle for him
to avoid a massive bruise, right down to the bone. That arm
would be almost useless for days, until the muscle began to
recover. I was completely focused on my opponent and,
summoning all the Chi I could, I grabbed the hand holding Li. I
drove my finger into the spot behind the wrist and twisted, he
had no choice but to let go. In twisting away from Li's arm I was
twisting towards his back and he did not have the strength in
his injured arm to resist me. I held him in a half nelson and
pushed him into open space.

      "You were going to give me a lesson and demonstrate your
skill, well now is your chance little man."

      I pushed him away from me by his twisted arm and he
staggered a few paces. I was radiating contempt but I do not
know if he was receiving it, although I could see that Master
Fong was, by the expression of amazement on his face, apart
from the emotion he was transmitting. The substitute turned to
face me. I swung my open palm towards his face. He ducked but
he was watching for my left. He could not tell, but Master Fong
could, I was balanced on my right foot and my left came around
and swept his feet from under him. He landed with a bone
jarring crash.

     "Get up little man! You are not setting a good example, lying
on the floor."

     He tried to sweep my feet from under me, but I could read his
intention. I jumped and landed with one foot either side of his
thigh, just above the knee. I slipped one leg under and crossed
the other over, locking the toes behind my legs and squatting.
Now I could choose to either break a bone or dislocate his hip. I
gave him the choice.

     "Which would you prefer, a broken leg or a dislocated hip?"

      He was looking me straight in the face, and I must have
looked nasty because I could feel his fear rising. I decided I had
humiliated him enough, and I would let him go. I had made my
point.

     "On second thoughts, you are not worth even that. I have
enough troubles without legal complications. You can go."

      I dropped back onto my hands and unlocked my legs. His
fear had turned to anger. He had probably never been humiliated
like this since he was a small child, and the loss of face was
galling. He tried to kick me in the balls but I read the intention in
time and got my knee in the way. I was on my feet instantly and
he was still on the floor.

     "What sort of a coward are you? You're unfit to teach frogs
how to croak. Get out before you bring any more shame to
Master Ling's name. This class is over."

     He did not move, so I walked around until he was between
the door and me. I was watching him like a hawk, just waiting for
him to try something. I was not angry, I was cold, and I lowered
my voice until I was just above a whisper.

     "If you do not leave of your own accord, I will throw you out."

     He must have believed me, Chang told me afterwards that he
thought I would burn holes in him with my eyes, and my face
looked like one of those demon paintings that the Tibetans are
so fond of. My voice was so vibrant with my suppressed anger
and the hall was so quiet that, even though I was speaking
softly, my voice reverberated around the hall. He got to his feet,
without taking his eyes off me and sidled towards the door. The
doorway was blocked with a sea of curious faces, all Chinese. I
strode down the hall and wrenched the second door open. The
crowd parted as if I were Moses at the Red Sea. I watched him
till he was down the steps and headed up the street, and then I
turned to Master Fong and managed to speak in normal tones.

     "Please forgive me for interrupting your class Master. I
deeply regret having disturbed your teaching. Will you accept
me back if I come next week? We need to go home now. Would
it be acceptable to you if those from here, who have to wait for
their parents, were to wait in your class?"

     He looked very grave and I could feel the conflicting
emotions in him. The sea of curious faces at the door was all on
tenterhooks waiting for his answers. Chang spoke while he was
hesitating.

     "Master Ling warned him not to use Li for any
demonstrations. I was at the Temple on Tuesday and heard him.
Now he has done what he was told not to do and Jeremy is
right, he has dishonoured Master Ling. He is lucky Jeremy didn't
kill him for that kick. If he had taken it at Li he probably would
have."

     Fong's mind was made up. He spoke to the boys in
Cantonese and those who had to wait began gathering their
things. He just looked at me and said one word. "Come." Then
he strode off. I could feel him debating in his mind whether he
had the skill and strength to beat me, should it ever come to
that, since I used a mixture of codes and you could never
predict which move I would pick next, and he now knew I had
the gift, so he had lost his usual advantage. What worried him
most was my apparent lack of self-control where Li was
concerned.

     Li did not have anything to take and neither did I, so I picked
Li up and put him on my back, piggyback style. He was getting
too heavy to carry any other way. The crowd rushed down the
steps to clear a wide path and the boys followed us out, like an
entourage. Chang was parked just down the street so we did not
have far to go. Li was snuggling into my back, very proud and
contented, draping his arms over my shoulders. The distress
had almost been erased. I was his man and I had fought for him
once again, he was proud of it. Not only that but I was proudly
proclaiming how precious he was to me by not even letting him
walk to the car. My face must still have been pretty grim,
because people gave us a wide berth even on those crowded
footpaths.

     When we got home Father came out to see what was wrong,
since we were so early. I simply nodded Chang in his direction
and took Li upstairs. I was concerned that I had broken the rules
of conduct and been rude and abusive to a Master. Not that I
regretted what I had done to the substitute, he was not fit to be
called a Master. I had been rude to Master Fong. I was beginning
to get the shakes. It had taken an enormous amount out of me.
Li could feel it as well as see it and he became very caring in his
attentions. He undressed himself, then me and led me into the
bathroom. He washed us both and dried me, then made me sit
on the throne while he dried himself. He took me back and
tucked me into bed, and then he climbed in beside me.

     "You are very tired my lovely one. Go to sleep and I will
watch over you until you wake. I love you even more than I did
when we married; you are always there for me. Now let me be
there for you."

     I cuddled him to me and smiled, but I was too tired to think of
anything to say and, while he was still smothering my face with
kisses, I dropped into a deep sleep. When I woke it was dark. I
was lying on my side and Li was cuddled up, dozing with his
head on my arm, nursing on my nipple like a sleeping baby. My
movements must have woken him and he looked up and smiled.
My nipple was sore; he must have been sucking it for quite a
while.

     "You are awake at last my fearless darling. Dinner is in the
microwave. Let's put our robes on and go down and eat. Are
you feeling ready for food my Jeremy?"

     "Yes sweet one, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.
Why didn't you wake me?"

     "Mother thought it best to let you sleep."

     Mother must have heard us coming, I heard the microwave
go on while we were still at the top of the stairs. She sat us at
the table and refused to listen to my protests. She brought in
egg flower soup and a pot of tea. It was the herbal tea: she must
have thought we would have trouble sleeping. While we were
eating, she put on cold rice to reheat and made a stir-fry.
Between Li and her I ended up eating most of it. Li had not left
me, even to eat, for the whole six hours I had been asleep. He
told his mother he would not move until I was awake. Then she
gave us lychees and ice-cream. I was stuffed. Father came out
of his study and saw us, but he just smiled. He was feeling
content, he had been right to listen to the Ancestors, Li and I
belonged together. Mother shooed us up to bed, with an
indulgent smile. She was beginning to see her little Li, who had
caused her the most worry of all her children, becoming
independent and assertive. It made her feel happy, he may never
be independent of me, but then we belonged together. It made
me feel all warm and tingly inside, and I massaged alternate
sides of Li's delectable rear, as we climbed the stairs. Li raced
ahead of me to the bedroom. When I got there he was already
naked, lying on his back on the bed, with his legs spread wide
and his arms reaching out to welcome me.

     "Come my darling, let's make the yin yang, I know you like
that best, and then you can fill me in the morning."

     This is the first time I remember Li consciously setting out to
make me happy, but it wasn't the last. I was hard as a rock and
so was he. He had gained another couple of centimetres
between his legs, in the last year and he was getting quite thick.
It filled my mouth very nicely and left the right amount of room
for my tongue to work on him. He sucked me in with great gusto
and was slurping away. Afterwards, lying there with my head
buried between his legs, and his buried between mine, I thought
how pleasant it was to be filled with my lover's essence, and I
decided what his fifteenth birthday present would be. It would
take a bit of work to persuade him to reverse rolls, but I thought
he was ready and would accept it, if I were subtle and
persuasive enough. Then he turned around and we cuddled and
kissed, it was nice, tasting myself from his mouth. Thinking
about what I intended to do got me all horny again, and I did not
just spoon him, I gave him a very thorough bonking, and stayed
in. He was delighted and we fell asleep sharing a feeling of
blissful oneness.

     In the morning, after I filled him again, we remade the bed
with clean sheets. He had become quite skilled at bed making
and it did not take more than a few minutes. Mother used to
change our sheets but, as Li became more self-reliant and I
became comfortable with living there, we had taken over that
duty. Mother still washed our sheets and towels herself, the
household help could guess and gossip all they wanted, they
would never see any evidence to back up their speculation. We
did our workout and had a shower and breakfast. While we were
eating, Father came out of his study. He looked serious but I
could not detect any worried feelings, so I had no idea what he
was serious about. He ate and was finishing his tea before he
spoke.

     "Jeremy, Master Fong rang me before breakfast. He has been
worrying all night about the implications of yesterday's fight. He
became aware that you have talents, which are out of the
ordinary, talents that he has only met twice before. In both those
cases, he passed the students to a Master he felt was more
skilled at teaching that type of student than he was. Both of
them needed to learn the self-discipline needed to control their
gift, but that was in Hong Kong, and he knows of no Master in
Australia who has that talent. He wants to talk to Master Ling
about it but he wanted your permission, since he feels that you
might be upset if you found out, and felt he was doing
something behind your back. He asked me to approach you as
he thought you would give it more careful consideration if it
came from me."

     "He can talk to Master Ling whenever he gets back from his
retreat, I've no objections, and Master Ling already knows of my
talents, we've discussed it before. I can understand why he's
afraid to approach me directly, he must've thought I was going
to attack him when he tried to stop me, but nothing was further
from my mind. This is only the second time that I've attacked
someone who wasn't directly threatening me, and both times it
has been because they were threatening Li. I think that Li and I
have become so enmeshed that I see any threat to Li as being a
threat to me. I have no regrets about my decisions, but I need to
consult Spirit to see if I'm getting too aggressive or am getting
out of balance in some other way. Tell him to go ahead with my
blessing, but since he has the same talent himself, why does he
think he's unfit to teach me? He must've learned how to use it in
the proper manner, why is he unable to pass on what he
learned?"

     Father was quick to assure me that he would pass on my
questions to Master Fong when he spoke to him, and, since we
had finished breakfast, we left the table. I cornered Chang,
before he went out, and asked him if he still had his handbook
of road rules. In a few days time, I would be old enough to sit for
my written exam and get a learners permit. I could not get a
drivers license until after Christmas, but there was no reason
why I could not get Mum or Chang to give me a few lessons. He
promised to look for it when he came home.

     I took Li out to the garage and we worked out for a while,
since he had missed his lesson yesterday. I decided that we
should practise some of the moves he was learning but I soon
changed my mind. The only grip he seemed to be interested in
was the hug and it was not on the list of approved holds for
Aikido, although I approved of it. There was a nagging doubt in
Li's mind. This whole idea of Aikido was not sitting comfortably
with him. It was not that he was frightened with the incident
yesterday, apart from anything else, it had shown him I was still
as committed to him as I had been a year ago.  He loved Master
Ling. It was just that the whole idea of fighting was foreign to his
nature. I did not say anything then, just filed it away to bring up
at a better time. Perhaps he would talk to me himself.

      The upshot of the discussions between Master Ling and
Master Fong was that I should attend a teaching session with
Master Ling, once a week, preferably on Saturday since Master
Ling set aside other duties to teach on that day. I discussed the
situation with Mum and Father and we decided that I should pay
someone to cut the grass and go in early on a Saturday. I could
catch a bus in and come home with Chang. This was the easiest
and most convenient way for everyone. While we were
discussing that, I brought up the subject of driving lessons.
Both Mum and Father were adamant, I would take driving
lessons at a driving school. Their reasons were that I should
take my license on a manual car, and the only manual car was
the S.L. I did not need to ask, there was no way Chang would
lend a learner his pride and joy. The other reason was that I may
learn bad habits from them and I would learn correctly, right
from the start, if I went to a driving school. They both thought it
was silly to have an automatic only license since I never knew
when I would need to drive a manual car. I had to give in; they
were both immovable, I suspect they had been talking to each
other again. It annoyed me that I would have to pay all that
money for something I thought was unnecessary, since I still did
not think in terms of my being rich, even though I had twenty
thousand dollars in the bank and in those days, that was a lot of
money. I didn't tell them that. They were too important in my life
to upset them over something unless it was of real importance.

      My lessons with Ling were at ten a.m. He was a very skilful
and knowledgeable teacher, highly regarded by all the other
monks. I wore ordinary clothes and took my uniform in my
backpack. The lessons went for an hour. He felt that was long
enough for him to examine me to see if I had properly absorbed
his teaching from the week before, and to teach me a new
principle.  As the teachings progressed I found my control of
Chi and my ability to communicate with Spirit, improved,
strengthened and refined to the point where it took considerably
less energy than it had previously.

      I was learning to vibrate in greater harmony with the
Universe, or, as I liked to think of it, with the Universal Mind.
That is not the Buddhist way of describing it but I had read
some stuff on the Super String theory of the Universe and I
thought it described my own experience rather well. I also found
that my emotions were more even and stable. Small things did
not as easily upset me and I did not react as strongly as I used
to. I was learning the dispassionate assessment and acceptance
he had been talking about. This dispassionate acceptance was
not ignoring the suffering of others. I only had to look at Ling for
my model for living; he was a kind and gentle man filled with
compassion for the suffering of others. His kindness even went
so far as to praise me for being a good student and working
hard to apply the principles in my daily life, I thought he was
overdoing the encouragement a bit but it was nice. When the
lesson finished I had two and a half hours to kill before Master
Fong's lesson.

      The first couple of weeks I just wandered around looking in
windows and generally killing time. It took me the best part of an
hour to make the trip home by bus, and I would just have time to
eat when it would be time for Chang to pick us up. It wasn't
worth the effort of going home. I had thought about this when I
learned my lesson would be at ten, but I had not found a
satisfactory solution. I wasn't afraid of being on my own in a
strange place, just bored. The first week I just had a very long
lunch and umpteen pots of tea. The second week I wandered up
and saw the Deng's Antique shop. I could not spend long there
as I had to walk down to the hall, and it was getting late. Mr
Deng invited me to come and have lunch with him the next week
and that sounded a lot better than what I had been doing, so I
accepted.

     The next week I went straight to the antique shop and sat
talking to Mr Deng. He was a very cultured and witty man and I
miss the conversations we used to have, since they continued
long after I finished my lessons with Ling. He taught me an
enormous amount about Chinese culture and history. He taught
me how to tell the different periods of pottery and how to date
various objects. I think the attention he gave me, and my
obvious interest made his youngest son, Robert, jealous and he
began to be there when I was there even though he had never
shown any interest before then. Soon he was as caught up in
the vast sweep of Chinese history as I was and he ended up
taking over the business, so I think I repaid the kindness of Mr
Deng by giving him his hearts desire. He did not just want his
son to take over the business; he wanted him to love the work
as much as his father did. From what I have seen of Robert, I
think his father must be very happy.


     Mum used this time to get to know Li and teach him things he
wanted to learn. He had done lots of drawings and they were all
over our rooms. I know nothing about art but I know when
someone has talent and I knew Li had talent. Mum had learned
drawing and had used it in her fashion work so she could teach
Li all sorts of things. He had never had any formal training,
except for Mum, but his work soon began to look almost
professional. He drew the garden at Wong's several times and
each one was better than the last. I don't know if he decided on
being an architect at that time or if the idea had always been in
his head but I do know that he had decided by his fifteenth
birthday that he was going to become a Feng Shui architect. As
you know, he is now the foremost Feng Shui architect in the
Southern Hemisphere. Apart from South America and South
Africa he has also had commissions from Indonesia and a lot
from Singapore and Malaysia, which are actually north of the
equator, and have a large Chinese community. There are a lot
more people who are interested in Feng Shui now than there
were when he started, so he is never short of commissions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear one I am tired. I think I will finish here and tell you about
Christmas and Li's birthday in the next letter.
Uncle Jeremy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~