Newsgroups: alt.sex.motss Path: clarkson!rpi!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!darwin.sura.net!haven.umd.edu!wam.umd.edu!horny From: horny@wam.umd.edu (Fluffy the wonder pirhana) Subject: The List Part 2 Message-ID: <1993Apr11.040215.10573@wam.umd.edu> Sender: usenet@wam.umd.edu (USENET News system) Nntp-Posting-Host: rac1.wam.umd.edu Organization: University of Maryland, College Park References: <1993Apr11.040143.10490@wam.umd.edu> Date: Sun, 11 Apr 1993 04:02:15 GMT Lines: 1325 A friend of mine claims that he cannot use rn properly so he asked me to post this for him.. any and ALL concerns should be directed to him, NOT ME. E-Mail to : CINNAMON@RAVEL.UDEL.EDU Please do not post as he will not be able to see it. Thanks, horny@wam -in a winery -with your ex- boyfriend/girlfriend 's brother/sister -on a wine press -after taking someone home from school -while running the 100 meter dash -in a Weeping Willow tree -under a Weeping Willow tree during the summer when the sun is very bright and it's really hot out -in an Apple tree -in a Giant Sequoia redwood -in a California redwood -on a Bonsai tree -on a Penjing tree -in a bear's den -in the arch at St. Louis -while broadcasting on radio -on MTV -in a pantry -on your kitchen table -on your dining room table -while on the telephone with the operator -while on the telephone with the president of the United States -while playing cricket -at a magic show -in a magic show -on a "KEEP OFF" sign -in Central Park, New York City -at the base of the Statue of Liberty -inside the head of the Statue of Liberty -on the outside of the head of the Statue of Liberty -on the staircase going up the Statue of Liberty -on the torch of the Statue of Liberty -while going up in the high speed elevator at the World Trade Center -while going down in the high speed elevator at the World Trade Center -while going up the Empire State Building -while going down the Empire State Building -on a street corner in New York City -on a street corner in San Francisco -on a street corner in Chicago -on a street corner in Washington D. C. (don't get shot) -on a street corner in Los Angeles -on Rodeo Drive (the world's most expensive street) -while they light the National Christmas Tree -under the National Christmas Tree -at the Easter Egg Roll at the White House -in a gift box -before jumping out of a cake -on a motorcycle during a high speed chase -on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco -in a car that is going through a car wash -in a car wash while it is running -in a car that is being towed -while bull fighting -while jousting -with a snowman -under a snowman -with a scarecrow -under a scarecrow -in a church -in a pew -in a confessional -on the alter at church -while being sacrificed -with a cadaver -in the refrigerator at the morgue where they keep the dead bodies -while Mass is in progress -while a priest watches -while a nun watches -with a nun/priest (sorry, raping is not allowed) -sprinkle holy water on each other -in a strip tease club -in Georgetown -with strobe lights flashing -on the ceiling -on the walls -on the floor -while graduating from high school -while graduating from college -at someone else's graduation -at your wedding reception -at your best friend's wedding reception -at one of your parent's wedding reception (only works if getting remarried) -during one of your parent's wedding (only works if getting remarried) -at a stranger's wedding reception -at a relatives wedding reception -during your best friends wedding -while your parent's renew their vows -while your grandparents renew their vows -while at your wedding reception, but not with your new spouse -at a stranger's wedding -while getting married, not with your wife/husband -while getting dressed -while getting undressed -at a relative's wedding -with your wife's/husband's lady-in-waiting/best-man -with Candy (you know, your girlfriend's sister) -at your sister/brother 's wedding -with Bubbles (you know, your neighbor) -in a pizza joint -on government property -on a government firing range -on a government nuclear testing facility -next to a nuclear reactor -in the tank of an empty super oil tanker -in a bank -while getting a loan -while paying bills -while doing taxes -behind the glass at a bank -in Geppi's Comic World -in a bicycle store -at Wheaton Plaza -in Annapolis Mall -in Columbia Mall -in City Place Mall -at a post office -in the United States' smallest post office (Cape Hatteras, NC) -while mailing your mail -against a blue mail box -against a private mail box on the corner of someone's property -while getting stamps at the post office -in a giant mail bag at the post office -in a pile of spaghetti -on top of spaghetti -while eating spaghetti -while eating chocolate -in a pool of chocolate -in the D. C. Armory complex -in a Track Auto store -in College Park -while waiting for the Metrobus -while waiting for the Metro train -in a video store -in a formal wear store -while trying on wedding gowns -while in a car on a car lift at a garage -on a car lift at a garage -at a resort -in a souvenir store -on the border line between states -on the border line between countries -on the border line between cities -on the border line between counties -while crossing over into another country as the border guard asks you questions -while crossing over into another country in a place in the car where you cannot be seen so that you must remain quiet -in a plane as it writes a message in the sky -******************** while typing this list ******************** -while righting your last will and testament -while in contact with another spirit -in a cage filled with rabbits -in a rocking chair -against a large screen TV -on Friday the 13th -in a Psycho movie -while watching a Psycho movie -while in the circus -at the circus -while in the lion cage with the lion present -dressed as a clown -while white water rafting -in Dodge City, Kansas -against a slot machine -on a famous person's grave -against a tomb stone -on the Sphinx in Egypt -while wrapped as a mummy -on a pile of gold coins -in Mesa Verde National Park -in Bryce Canyon -in Zion National Park -in Great Falls National Park -in Yellowstone National Park -on an Indian reservation -in the ribs of a dinosaur skeleton -against the bones of a dinosaur skeleton -against a cactus -in a ghost town -after winning the lottery -while buying a lottery ticket -******************** some place, act, or kink not on this list ******************** -while talking on the phone with your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend -in a giant beehive -in a herd of buffalo -in a gold mine -in a silver mine -in a diamond mine -in Black Hills, South Dakota -under Mount Rushmore -on the face of Mount Rushmore -while reading a book -while on the nose of one of the president's at Mount Rushmore -on Vampire Peak, Badlands, South Dakota -on the base of the Soldiers and Sailor's monument in Iowa -in Mitchell Corn Palace, South Dakota -in Maryland's Fort McHenry -on Old Faithful -on Old Faithful when she erupts -in Arlington National Cemetery -by the Eternal Flame -while going through the Fort McHenry Tunnel -while going through the Harbor Tunnel -on the inside walk of the Fort McHenry Tunnel -on the inside walk of the Harbor Tunnel -on a pile of uncut $100 bills -in a fairy tale -see how many items on this list you can complete by the end of your high school career -see how many items on this list you can complete by the end of your college career -see how many items on this list you can complete by the time you get married -see how many items on this list you can complete by the time you are forty (if you can live that LONG!!!!!) -on a glacier in Glacier National Park -in an avalanche -during an avalanche -in the tower on Telegraph Hill in San Francisco -by the tower on Telegraph Hill -on top of the tower on Telegraph Hill -while in front of the parole board -while playing Twister -play Twister while you are naked -play Twister with 2 groups, where each group consists of two people handcuffed at the ankles -in Toon Town -in popcorn -on a popcorn maker -while being popped in a popcorn maker -while square dancing -in front of your siblings -in front of your parents -at an office party -at a get together -at a party -at a sales meeting -at a staff meeting -at a club/organization meeting -at a going away party -at a retirement party -for a special event -after being involved in an automobile accident -while getting into a car accident -while running a red light -in the stands of an SHS football game -in the parking lot during school -in a car in the parking lot during school -in the parking lot during an SHS football game -in a car in the parking lot during an SHS football game -in a non-handicapped car parked in the handicapped parking place -on the ground of a handicapped parking place -in a bumper car -while the toilet is flushing -while sitting on the toilet -in the bathroom at a rest stop -while in the parking lot of a rest stop -while sick -while the female is on P. M. S. -in the janitor's office -cut holes in each other's clothes anywhere you want -on a lunch counter -on a lunch table during lunch -see how may girls/boys in the senior class you can lay -while eating pizza -while posing for yearbook pictures -while posing for photography class -on back of Shamu the Whale -while eating cotton candy -while learning the facts of life -on skid row (no pun intended) -while beeping -while squeaking -in string confetti -in confetti -on a ping pong table -while playing ping pong -while falling off your bed -in a furniture store -under the coffee table -on a coffee table -against a bannister -while sliding down a railing -in a dog kennel -in a psycho ward -under a car -while using power tools -in a pair of 50 (waist)/50 (inseam) jeans -in a nativity scene -in a spider web -while appearing on Sesame Street -while appearing on the evening news -on the wheel of Wheel of Fortune -while appearing on all the televisions on Jeopardy -while strapped to all the televisions on Jeopardy -while on the contestant stands on Family Feud -while answering the five questions in 15 or 20 seconds on Family Feud -backstage of a live show -on stage of a live show -on stage at the Grammies -while you receive an Oscar -in Oscar the Grouch's trash can -on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson hosting -on Johnny's last show (May 22, 1992) -while talking to Johnny Carson -while Carson does his monologue -while Carson does his monologue with you in the background -while Carson tells jokes about you -while Carson swings his golf club -while appearing on the Late Night with David Letterman -while on a dining room table set with china for dinner -while appearing on Doctor Who -buy some air time on public TV and broadcast yourself as you do it -while making a guest appearance on Cheers -while someone explains how to do it for some kid on 3-2-1 Contact -while watching a Christmas Special -while watching a Thanksgiving special -while at a Christmas Party -in an air conditioning tunnel/vent (ala L.A. Law) -while watching Mr. Ed -while watching The Ed Sullivan Show -while in the Koppel report: "Sex in the Soviet Union" -while at your parent's funeral -while being buried alive -in the Kremlin -during a closed meeting between the Soviet Prime Minister and the President of the United States -while being held hostage -on the Great Wall of China -in Red Square -behind one of the curtains of Let's Make A Deal -with a game show host/hostess -while posing for tabloid pictures -on Mister Roger's Neighborhood -in a life guard tower -in a Disney Film (with a lot of black censoring dots) -see how many 5.5 inch disks you can fit around his penis -tie a rope around each others waist, no more than ten feet long, so you will not be more than ten feet way from each other at all times -see how long you can go without sex, then when you can no longer stand it go so me more and then have sex -in a giant flower pot -while studying anatomy -between two huge slices of bread -in a rented car -while a famous artist paints your picture -while lifting weights -while on top of a rhinoceros -while sitting on the horn of a rhinoceros -while making a commercial -while wearing a gun belt and nothing else -while wearing a cowboy hat and nothing else -go out in public together wearing just one set of clothes -against a gas station pump -against a jute box -in a hamburger -in a giant pot of tomato sauce -in a pile of rubber worms -on top of a totem pole -while riding a coin-operated rodeo horse -while leaning against a steering wheel so that the horn is blowing constantly -while dangling from a rope attached to the Good Year Blimp -******************** whenever the mood strikes you (hopefully quite often) ******************** -at a fraternity party -******************** after showing this list to your parents ******************** -with your stepmother/stepfather -in an apple tree -in the back of a new trash truck -in a new trash bin -in a Ronald McDonald costume -in an officer's suit -in a sailor's outfit -in army fatigues -while talking weird from inhaling helium -while wearing pajamas -in a copy room -in a James Bond movie -while flipping channels -after running a mile -after swimming 100 meters -on the mast of a pirate ship -in a pile of live fish -while working late -in a lingerie store -in the arms of a giant teddy bear -while cleaning up after a party -on a raft in a pool -on a raft in the surf of the beach -on a life preserver in the middle of the ocean -under a gorgeous sunset -on a dirt bike being rode in a Super Cross event -while playing frisbee -on an alien space ship -with an alien -while an alien watches -while studying for exams -in a gazebo -while getting a loan -in a judge's chambers -while presiding over a court case -in a court house while court is in progress -while making cookies -while making Jello to be used in later sexual acts -with "Sweatsocks" (Mallorie D.) -on a map of the U.S.A. -in a bird's nest -while opening presents -while decorating the Christmas tree -while taking pictures of the stars -******************** while this list is spell-checked, saved, and printed ******************** -while practice shooting (target practice) -while skeet shooting -on Santa's lap at the mall -while waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve -at gun point -while trick-or-treating -while trick-or-treaters come to your door -while being read your rights -after being read your rights, so they can use the heavy breathing as evidence in court -to make someone mad at you -to piss off your ex's brother/sister -while kissing someone else -in a shepherd's manor -while painting a room in your house -while Christmas carolling -paint each other in any pose the painter wants -pour buckets of paint all over each other -paint each other all over using different sizes and types of brushes -in the past -spread oil all over each other and then have a wrestling match -use an ice cream scoop -use a hand operated egg beater -while blindfolded -set a date to do it, then just think about and don't have sex until then -under a sun lamp -on a cloudy day -in a fog thicker than you can imagine -while thumb fighting -act out your deepest darkest fantasies -on the Berlin Wall -on the Berlin Wall as it's knocked down -in Berlin -while there are nuclear bombs exploding -while waiting for a nuclear explosion -on the head of a Saturn I rocket -while wearing hockey masks -while wearing monster masks -one of you get dressed up as the wolf, the other as Little Red Riding Hood, and act out the fairy tale with some sexual alterations -in between the floor and ceiling of two levels of the same building -as many times as possible in a week -as many times as possible in a day -as many times as possible in an hour -on your honeymoon -in Santa's sleigh -in fake snow -while his/her bratty brother/sister watches -while getting a hair cut -with a screwdriver -while wrapping presents -while unwrapping presents -take a bath while wearing white clothes -while sitting on a stereo -while sitting on a computer keyboard that is plugged into a word processor with the computer on -pull a lamp shade over the two of you so you cannot be separated -under a tank -in a tank -on a gun turret -while being pulled behind a boat -while waterskiing -in an armored personal carrier -while wearing Santa Claus costumes -at a costume party -while wearing scarves -while being interrogated -in a tuba -on a treadmill -while on top of the top wing of a bi-wing plane -between the wings of a bi-wing plane -on a double decker bus -on top of a bus -on a raft floating down the Mississippi -on a log floating down a river -while in a pit dug for you to fall into -on the back of an ostrich -on one of the hands of Big Ben -as Big Ben sounds midnight on New Year's Eve -inside Big Ben -inside Big Ben as it sounds midnight -in a canal in Venice -while driving in a snow storm -with the stereo cranked -while wearing gloves -in a crater on the moon -while leaning against a snowman -in a dungeon -in a seventeenth century castle in England -while wearing suits of armor (chain mail, leather, plate, etc.) -while wearing tights (like Robin Hood) -while jousting the Black Knight -in a black hole -while a star goes super nova -after coming out of a shower -after coming out of a bath -while on a sled being dragged by dogs -on a median strip -in Santa's bag of gifts -wrapped up in a blanket -while each of you wears a robe -while you both wear the same robe -while recording a record -while signing a statement for the police -on a political platform at a party convention before an election -with dripping wet hair -in a tepee -while wearing moccasins -on a prairie -in a mountain stream -in a mountain lake -in a mountain pond -below sea level -right above high tide so the waves come within inches of hitting you -just enough in the water so that when the crashed wave climbs up the beach it comes up to your shoulders as you lay on the ground -in a doorway -in a doorway during an earthquake (the safest place to be) -in a brewery -while going over Niagara Falls -with a cop to get out of a ticket -on the back of a clydesdale -on the Budweiser Clydesdale wagon -with a secretary -with a co-worker -with a fellow student -with your friend's wife/husband -with your friend's girlfriend/boyfriend -with your mistress (a man/woman with whom a woman/man habitually fornicates) -as a mistress -with your friend's mistress -with your parent's mistress -in line waiting for your social security check -in the back of an armored truck filled with money -in line at a supermarket -in the frozen food section of a supermarket -in the produce section of a supermarket (you know, all the fruits and vegetables) -in a movie filmed like Roger Rabbit (you know, cartoons and people in the same frame) -on a Civil War battlefield -on a Civil War battlefield while a reenactment is acted out -on a Civil War battlefield while the original battle takes place -on the Civil War battlefield in Washington, D.C. -while eating cherry pie (smeared all over the other person) -while eating pumpkin pie (smeared all over the other person) -while eating apple pie (smeared all over the other person) -while eating chocolate mousse (smeared all over the other person) -in a huge cherry pie -in a huge pumpkin pie -in a huge apple pie -in a huge serving of chocolate mousse -in a cherry tree -in an apple tree -in an orange tree -while driving on the Autobahn in Germany -in the luggage compartment of an airplane -in the luggage compartment of an airplane while it is flying -in the luggage compartment of an airplane while it is being filled -in your seats while the airplane is taking off -on the bathroom floor -wrapped in wrapping paper -on the stove top -while using a yo-yo -see if he can use a yo-yo with his penis -while brushing your teeth -use your tongue to brush each other's teeth -use his penis as a toothbrush -use his semen as the toothpaste -while counting sheep -with Energizers (it keeps going, and going, and going ...) -while reading the juicy parts of a romance novel -act out the juicy parts of a romance novel -without any physical contact (the E-Technique, may take a few tries but it is possible) -at a movie where the audience is only children and their parents (like a Disney movie) -dressed for a toga party -at a toga party -at a block party -while wearing boxer shorts -while wearing exercise shorts -while not wearing any underwear with the rest of your clothes on -on a gargoyle -while fighting a dragon -on a pile of magazines -on a pile of newspapers -in front of a fan -between two bean bag chairs -on a barstool -between the sheets -under the sheets -on top of the sheets -under the covers -between the covers -on top of the covers -while writing your memoirs -while washing windows -on a balcony -in line at a night club -at the YMCA -in the Playboy mansion -in the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C. -in a Pepsi-Cola bottling factory -in a laundromat -in a dry cleaner's store -on a jewelry store display case with all the jewelry in it -on a set of deer antlers -on a set of mousse antlers -in a sink -on a bar top -with a Playboy/Playgirl centerfold (stay hetero) -with a Playboy/Playgirl centerfold while shooting a layout -in a sauna -in ninja suits -on a fire escape -in an Italian sports car -in the back of an ambulance -in a Medevac helicopter -in a M.A.S.H unit -in a gay bar (by the way, don't be gay) -in a lesbian bar (by the way, don't be a lesbian, unless you have a good excuse, then hell have fun) -use a condom -use a glow in the dark condom -use a red, white, and blue condom -use a purple condom -use a green condom -let her put the condom on you -in a '65 Mustang -in a '57 Chevy -in a '57 T-Bird -in an old pick-up truck -in the middle of a bar fight -while drinking vodka -while drinking beer -while drinking light beer -on a pile of floppy disks -in a grandfather clock -in a pillow case -while chopping vegetables (be careful, don't chop his) -while talking on an intercom -while playing Pictionary -while playing the Win, Lose, or Draw board game -while using an ouija board -on a MAN hole cover -in a sewer -in a drainage ditch -in a secret room -in the President's bedroom -in the President's bed -in a pirate ship -wrapped in a skull and crossbones flag -in a swivel chair -at a Broadway play -on the hood of a pick-up truck -in the back seat of a pick-up truck -in a smoke stack -in a cannon -while being shot out of a cannon -up a chimney -leaning against a chimney -on an atlas -while sitting on a dictionary -on the giant golf ball at Epcot Center in Walt Disney World -on a giant globe -on the rocks at Stonehenge -after discovering the secret of Stonehenge -after winning the Nobel Peace Prize -while driving a boat -while using a fire extinguisher -while fighting a fire -on a fire engine while it responds to a call (in transit) -measure each other's sexual parts (make sure to make as much physical contact as possible) -while wearing a hockey jersey -while wearing a football jersey -in a revolving door -on a welcome mat -in Tel Aviv, Israel while the air-raid sirens go off -in Baghdad, Iraq while the Coalition is bombing (you know, the bombs bursting in air) -on an oil platform -while laughing at the San Francisco 49er's for losing to the New York Giants in the 1991 NFC Championship game -while escaping from prison -in a jail cell while all the inmates make their predictable racket -during a riot -on a giant piano like the one in the movie Big -in the dressing room at a clothes store -while being searched by airport security -on a turntable -in a record store on the compact disc display -while shooting a scene for a horror film -without making any noise at all -on the phone with someone that would not approve of what you are doing -on the parallel bars -in the maternity ward of a hospital -in the intensive care unit of a hospital -at an abortion clinic -at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting -at a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting (if there is such a thing) -as a substitute for smoking -as a substitute for drinking -as a substitute for drugs -at a drug rehab meeting -while high -while tripping -in a mental hospital -during a college interview -so you have material to discuss for your sex education class -so you have material to write about in an english composition -while wearing hockey gloves -so you can be written about in the National Inquirer -to waste some time -when you are bored -while posing for a famous painter to paint you -while posing for a famous sculptor to sculpt you -in a huge dresser drawer -in a bed being sold at a furniture store -in a chair in a furniture store -on a desk in furniture store -backstage at a concert -right after the female gives birth -on a casino floor in Las Vegas -with a dealer in a casino -under the bow of a speedboat -on the check-out counter of a store -at a full service gas station -in a tent along the Appalachian Trail -in the hills above Hollywood -with the Diet Pepsi "Uh huh" girls singing in the background -with a pilot (as he/she flies the plane) -in the cargo hold of a bomber -in a cabin at Outdoor Ed. in sixth grade -with someone you know has a reputation for being easy -in a bomb shelter -under a pinball machine in an arcade -against a video game in an arcade -after your favorite team wins the Super Bowl -after your favorite team wins the World Series -after your most hated team wins the Super Bowl -after your most hated team wins the World Series -after your favorite team loses the Super Bowl -after your favorite team loses the World Series -after your most hated team loses the Super Bowl -after your most hated team loses the World Series -make a bet to see who can do the most sexually outrageous thing to the other person -in a hot tub that is open to all the guests of the hotel you are staying in -break into someone's house and make love all over the place -while wearing football helmets -while wearing hockey helmets -while wearing a catcher's mask -in a pot of hot, Italian tomato sauce -in the cage in the Springbrook High School girl's locker room -in front of the President as he gives the State of the Union address -before going off to fight in a war -in a foreign country -in a pool hall -at the United States Mint -in a pile of uncut $1000 bills -in one of Spiderman's webs -while breaking into a building -at an office Christmas party -at a bachelor party -at a bridal shower -in a bank vault -in the computer lab while writing your term paper -while giving DICtation (be sure to include all the oohs and ahs, etc.) -while playing with Legos -while playing Monopoly -while playing Trivial Pursuit (check card number 871, science category, Genius edition) -while throwing darts -while using the slot machines at Vegas (by the way, you can use his, but be careful) -in a field of corn -in Marilyn Monroe's crypt -on Jim Morrison's grave -on the wing of an in-flight 747 -on the wing of an in-flight Concord flying in excess of Mach 1 -in Pandora's Box -dry each other off with your tongues -on a subway grate as a train goes under it -wear edible underwear -in a bath tub filled with melted cheese -in a room filled with clean unwoven cotton -under a pile of dirt -in a field of wheat -in a field of dreams -in a Japanese rice field -in a straw hut -in a stick hut -in a brick hut (the Three Little Pigs) -in the front row of a comedian's concert. So they can get in their one-liners -in the Costume Closet at Springbrook High School -on the cat walks over the auditorium -in the lighting booth for the auditorium -in the generator control room for the stage -in the boiler room in back of the stage -inside the trap door, stage left -in the observatory over the school -in Stacey's ("Mojo"'s cousin) apartment -in Stacey's office -in Jeff's ("Mojo"'s cousin) new car -in Jeff's new house -on "Mojo"'s pinball machine -in a babbling brook -while on a road trip -with God -in Lincoln's lap at the Lincoln Memorial -while tenth century vikings throw axes at you, while you are tied up (watch Erik The Viking) -use a scanner to scan each other's body parts onto the computer -use a cue stick -use a bridge (from pool) -stick postage stamps all over each others body -use a magnifying glass to examine each other -use latex -have safe sex -in the prison showers in a prison for the opposite sex -with "Mojo" -with "Little Red" -with "Shoulders" -with "El Horno" -with "Cream" -with "Chucks" -with "Mojo", "El Horno", and "Shoulders" (all at once) -in the back room at Erol's -while making a pizza at Jerry's -on plush, new carpeting -in a carpeting store -on a float that says, "EAT ME" -while getting help from your teacher after school -with Sinkovitz (see if you can get some BODY chemistry going) -in front of the Prince and Princess of Britain -while watching Animal House -******************** while checking this list for duplicates ******************** -on the Fourth of July, on the mall -in the Batmobile -in the Batmobile with Batman, Robin, The Joker, The Commissioner, Batgirl, Chief O'Hara, The Penguin, and Catwoman (all at once, a regular orgy in the Batmobile) (Wham! Bam! Thank you...) -in the tanker of a gasoline -while stoned -while having a bad trip on acid -while having your ear(s) pierced -while having your nipple(s) pierced -at Wheaton Ice Rink in the penalty box -in the big ring of a three ring circus -while watching Beverly Hills 90210 (NOT!) -in a Homecoming Parade -during Mardi Gras -on Bourbon Street (street in New Orleans) -while watching Monty Python movies -as part of a Monty Python movie -as part of a Mel Brooks movie -while being directed by Spike Lee -while using a voodoo doll on the other person as part of a black magic ceremony -in the "Show Me" state (Missouri) -on a Stair Master -******************** While Pee Wee Herman watches ******************** -with Pee Wee Herman's help (sick, but funny) -in a beer vat -while Mrs. Lorenson's flabby arm flaps over you -in a vat of shaving cream -in a vat of honey (from bees) -in a vat of hair spray -in a vat of cum -get an empty vat and try to fill it up with cum from a girl/guy -at a car show -in a vat of breast milk -cover each other in pudding, then lick it off -make pudding using cum instead of milk (maybe used for further sexual acts) -make pancakes with cum -in the half time show during the Super Bowl -in the half time show during a football game at SHS -with a flute -with a piccolo -in the recycling bin at White Oak Shopping Center -in a kettle drum -on a camel (one hump or two) -while pretending to be a horse jump as the horse jumps over you -on the back of a moving horse -try to find his needle in a haystack -under a palm tree on a deserted island -at the opera -in a reclining chair -on a college radio station -with someone born the same day as you -on the judges bench during a trial -under the judges bench during a trial -on an elephant -with the judge -while exploring an unknown cave -with a member of the Kennedy family -inside the Kennedy estate -while repelling -while searching for treasure (hidden (in more ways than one)) -with the "Lorenson's Special" (Pre-Cal) calculators (TI-81) -dig a hole at the beach during low tide. Wait (ahem) in the hole until high tide covers you up -******************** while submitting this list for the Guiness Book of World Records ******************** -******************** while cataloging this list in the Library of Congress ******************** -while reading How to Make Love Six Nights a Week by Graham Masterton -while reading How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed by Graham Masterton -while reading How to Drive your Man Wild in Bed by Graham Masterton -while reading Sex Secrets of the Other Woman by Graham Masterton -act out any of the stories, ideas, and/or kinks in the books by Graham Masterton -while reading Dr. Seuss -while looking at the posters in Spencers -in a giant gingerbread house -with a giant Gingerbread Man/Woman in the house -in an ice chest -melt ice on each others body -in a giant bird seed feeder -in a wheel barrel -while riding the New York City subway -while on the phone with the Grease Man (DC 101 DJ), live on the radio -while on a riding lawn mower -while on a regular lawn mower -in the house where you grew up -******************** for the hell of it ******************** -******************** on this list (spread it out) ******************** -in a jack in the box -on the deck of an air craft carrier -while the Beast from Beauty and the Beast watches -with the Beast/Beauty from Beauty and the Beast -in your car, in the parking lot of a mall -after serving a tour of duty in a war -in a black hole -in the court yard at SHS during class -while wearing slippers -on the roof of SHS -in the rafters of any building -against a window -while being lowered down the side of an office building on a window cleaning platform -while sitting in the passenger seat, lean over and give the driver some head -at swim practice -in the baby pool at Martin Luther King Pool -in the whirl pool at the Martin Luther King Pool -as part of a sexual (antonym for platonic) friendship, (not a girlfriend/boyfriend, just a really close friend) -To get the feel for this one wait till everybody in the house is asleep (must have at least five people in the house). Proceed, separately (as in a secret meeting), to an empty room at three o'clock in the morning, so that the only light coming in is through the windows. Now that you have made your rendezvous sit back and snuggle for awhile and listen to the sounds of the house. After a bit, begin to whisper to each ot her. You can say anything you want, but suggestive and lustful thoughts are best. As you whisper to each other and while listening to the house you should make sure to touch each other. Start innocently with the shoulder, move to the neck, the ears, the small of the back, and the inner thigh. By the time you've gotten this far, your conversation should be very steamy and both of you should be ready to explode, so with no further adieu, please do. -in "Shoulder"'s barn -in front of "El Horno"'s birds (the ones that masturbate) -in "Mojo"'s television room in the basement with: the door closed, the lights out, and under a blanket -On a warm summer night, drive out to the country where you are no longer bothered by the lights of the city. Bring with you a telescope and one sleeping bag. Park in an empty field away from any type of paved road. Now set up the telescope and look at the moon, listen to nature, and hold each other tight. After the romance of the night has wove its magic cloth, go with the flow. -Which ever one of you reads this item first, ask your partner to do something for you, make sure they promise. Over dinner, ask them what their envisionment of the most romantic night is. On the following night, take them out to dinner (make sure you choose the place and do the driving). After dinner, take them to their romantic spot, no matter what. If they miss work, too bad. If it's on another continent, well you might to spent more than one night (all right, so maybe that's not such a big problem, the pleasure alone should be worth it). -smear Chap Stick all over each other -after being smeared with Chap Stick -on the AIDS Quilt -during a whipped cream fight (the kind of cream you buy at Seven-Eleven) -before a whipped cream fight in a car built for four with seven people in it on New Year's Eve -after a whipped cream fight, in "Mojo"'s whirlpool (cleaning yourself off) -after a whipped cream fight IN "Mojo"'s whirlpool -have a whipped cream orgy in "Mojo"'s downstairs bathroom -in an air conditioner -on an air conditioner -in an industrial air conditioner -on your birthday -with a nymphomaniac (sorry, guys only) -in the Grand Tetons, part of the Teton Range (as in mountain range) located in Wyoming (by the way, Grand Tetons means "big tits") -on the hood of a car that is being driven by someone who does not know how to drive a stick shift -try Carezza (the term for sex involving the penis and the vagina with no movement) -on the U.S. Capital steps -with someone suffering from Polythelia (having extra nipples) -with an autoassassinatophiliac (a person that is sexually excited by their own murder) -with someone suffering from gymnophobia (the fear of nakedness) -while wearing a neck brace after being in an auto accident -in the Silver Diner in Rockville (while the waiter brings you cokes) -inside one of the Silver Diner's phone booths -in a refrigerator box filled with styrofoam packaging material (the semicircle kind) -on the bleachers next to the ice at the Wheaton ice rink -have a caricature drawn of you while you make love -try using some aphrodisiacs -in one of Washington D.C.'s monuments during a blackout -on the top floor of a skyscraper when the lights have been turned out so that the building is less visible during a possible air raid -on a new set of mattresses -on a king size bed -on a king size water bed -instead of going to a party that you now will be boring -while doing community service -when your not supposed to have anybody over -while listening to "LA Women" by The Doors -use a pink paint pen to write all over each other -while tie-dying each other's underwear -use your tongue like a paintbrush to smear pudding on each other and then use a straw to suck it off -at "Cream"'s while having an ice fight -while "Cream"'s neighbors are banging on the wall -while hand cuffed (both ankles and both wrists of the same person) to a four-poster bed -sitting on the post of a four-poster bed -while the Skins beat the Bills in the Super Bowl -while "Hail To The Redskins" is sung -at Champions in Tyson's Corner, VA -at Champions during a Skins game -at Champions during a Super Bowl with the Skins in it (winning, of course, scoring lots of points) -in a life raft, at sea, after your ship has sunk -while waiting in traffic at 7:27 AM on Valleybrook Drive -while accidentally running a red light on Route 29 while talking to "Shoulders" -during the blackout at Springbrook High School on January 14, 1992 -while scoring a 58% on a "Sinkovitz Multiple Guess Exam" and still getting an "A" -in Mr. Behrmann's class as he doesn't see you over his big shiny blue bucked teeth -while Mr. Bennett calls you "El Horno" at lunch -as a part of an "aristocratic elitist circle mnage--trois" -under the table at lunch (be careful, don't get gum in your hair) -in a shoe box (only "Slippery") -while playing indoor croquet at "Cream"'s apartment -while Echo ("Mojo"'s dog with a fungal infection, "Shoulders"'s favorite dog at "Mojo"'s house) is watching -after listening to hours and hours of The Doors without having sex (only works for "Shoulders") -while you have a fungal infection in your mouth -with your ex-fiance -while "Chucks"'s boss assists in intercourse between her horses -under the Mickey Mouse float at the Disneyland Parade down Main Street -while making flavored body paints for later use (Recipe : Confectioner's Sugar, water, and food coloring) -while riding Bo ("Shoulders"'s horse) -while riding Kahnee ("Shoulders"'s other horse) -while training Classy ("Shoulders"'s uncle's filly - she's too young to be ridden) -after getting a letter of acceptance from University of Maryland -after getting a handwritten letter from Harvard asking you to apply -after getting a letter of acceptance from an Ivy League school (Harvard, Yale, Brown, Princeton) -after getting a letter of acceptance from Georgetown or Johns Hopkins ("Shoulders"'s top two choices) -while doing a jigsaw puzzle (without looking at the picture-according to "Little Red", that's cheating) -while moving to Edgewater, Maryland on January 25, 1992 -on THE one and only SATURDAY NIGHT (November 21, 1990) -while eating a "Big Mac" at Mickey D's -on the high wire in Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus -inside that "ring of death" thing at Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus -in a shoe store -on the moon -while listening to "I'm Too Sexy" -upon reentry into the atmosphere (It'll get VERY hot) -at a Super Bowl celebration on the Mall -while counting fruit fly mutations in A.P. Bio -while eating a "Big Mac" for the first time in two years after abstaining from MEAT all that time -while having a wrestling match with handcuffs and ice during "Mojo"'s Super Bowl party -on the Amtrak A-Train -as part of an international espionage drama -as part of an international espionage -while the FBI has you under surveillance -on a stakeout -while listening to country music (ick!!) -with Garth Brooks -with Madonna and all of her dancers at the same time. -while reading the script for the Spring Musical -while starring in the spring musical -on stage during the Spring '92 Musical, but not actually part of the cast -while operating a spotlight during the spring musical -while sitting on the ledge outside of the tech booth during the Spring Musical -in the rafters of SHS's Auditorium -on the ledge of SHS's concession stand during half-time at a football game -while receiving a lecture on safety from Mr. Knox -while being tickled -while listening to country music, being tickled, and trying to play Nine-Ball at the same time -while driving to the McDonald's in Baltimore (Light St. and Baltimore St.) on senior skip day -on Senior Skip Day -while riding "Chucks"'s horses -while wearing "Chucks"'s chucks -at "Chucks"'s house -in "Chucks"'s car -while "Chucks"'s wears her chucks -with "Chucks"'s horses -with "Chucks"'s chucks -while throwing "Chucks" out the window -while conducting a chuck-burning with "Chucks" in the chucks -in "Chucks"'s beanbag chair -in "Mojo"'s beanbag chairs -while buying a beanbag chair -while buying a couch -while cutting "Chucks"'s hair off -while driving with "Chucks" to Georgetown to get a new pair of chucks -while having "Chucks"'s credit card declined -while "Chucks" steals "Mojo"'s wallet -on a subway grate -use crotch-less underwear -use edible underwear -use a bathtub filled with melted cheese -use a bathtub filled with whipped cream -in a huge room filled with clean and unwoven cotton -under the ground -handcuff all your ankles and/or wrists to separate posts of a four-poster king size bed -while listening to "Lola" by The Kinks -while strapped to a cross of Lorraine -while watching the Star Wars Trilogy -at "Chucks"'s Dad's house -on Breezy ("Chucks"'s horse) -at a class of 1992 graduation party located at Myrtle Beach -in a pile of un-cracked eggs -suck each others toes -in a chicken-pen -while eating eggs -while watching Pink Flamingoes -with Channing, your rather fertile servant -while God blesses our mobile home -with a pink flamingo -in the Flamingo Hotel, Ocean City, Maryland -while celebrating Bab's birthday -in a bath tub filled with egg yokes -in the store, Creative Playthings -in "El Horno"'s car -in "Shoulders"'s car -on Assateague -on Chincoteague -while camping in a national camp site -on this fucked-up piece of shit my dad ("Mojo"'s) added to the computer -while listening to "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers -while listening to "Divine Thing" by The Soup Dragons -way out in space, so that the Hubble Telescope is the only thing that can see you -while picking up "Cream"'s croquet set from Tony -while picking up "Cream"'s apartment (all of the used latex) -use the used latex from "Cream"'s apartment -while helping "Cream" pack as she prepares to move to New Jersey -while waiting in the car as "Cream" blows Keith -at Putt-Putt -while playing Putt-Putt -while putting a hole-in-one at Putt-Putt -while playing nine-ball -while trying to play nine-ball -while playing eight-ball -while breaking the shelf that "Chucks" broke on "Mojo"'s computer table -while fixing the shelf that "Chucks" broke on "Mojo"'s computer table -in seventy mile-per-hour winds -while wearing caps and gowns -while wearing letter jackets -while the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey's tigers give birth -while trying to spell "among" as "umon" -while buying a new car -while having multiple car accidents -to relieve the stress caused by having two accidents within an hour -while on the phone with the non-english speaking person at the Colesville Dominoes (680-0333) -while being set up -while driving to Sacramento, California from Ocean City, Maryland (3037 miles) -while being goosed -while goosing your mother -while being goosed by your mother -while collecting shells -while talking to Jill (a DJ on WCXR) -while asking someone to prom -while having Jill ask someone to prom for you -in talcum powder -while running into Sinkovitz and his son (Richie Jr.) at Laurel Mall -while hanging a Metrobus sign in "Mojo"'s basement -while having a conversation full of sexually connotative remarks -while filing this in SHS's library -******************** while giving copies of this list to Mr. Bennett and Mrs. Adkins ******************** -while dubbing Pink Flamingos to give to Mr. Ishikawa -******************** while deciding who gets a copy of this list ******************** -while planning a surprise party for your friend's birthday -while making out at your girlfriend/boyfriend 's swim club parking lot -while making out at your girlfriend/boyfriend 's birthday party (January 18, 1992) -******************** while finding green and purple paper to print this list with ******************** -while having a conversation through a bathroom door -while fidgeting with yourself (if your desperate enough) -while wearing underwear of the opposite sex -while watching "Mojo"'s dog chew on his bone (Why does he do it? HE CAN.) -while watching Taxi -in a taxi on Taxi -in the "cage" on Taxi, while Danny DeVito watches -while watching The Song Remains the Same (by Led Zeppelin) -backstage at graduation -while suffering from a rash caused by eating strawberries and raspberries -while Roger Dean paints you into a Dreamscape (the artist that does the designs for Yes) -while you have a cut on your tongue -wear a Tunguedom -in "El Horno"'s godmother's store, The Noose (she sells X-rated leather merchandise) (261 West Nineteenth Street, New York, New York, 10011) -while growling -while purring (that would be appropriate for a pussy) -while drowning in a tent -in the Chesapeake -on a Chincoteague pony -with your mail-person -while planning a twenty-fifth (25) anniversary party for your parents -at your parents twenty-fifth (25) anniversary party -at your friend's surprise birthday party -while having a conversation through a bathroom door with your lover, naked -with a short, bald Chinese person -with a bearded Iraqi woman -on a camel -while playing the Super Mario Bros. games -on Judgement Day -in the face of God -on the face of God -while being circumcised -while calling 1-800-DOCTORS -while dialing 911 -while calling 411 to find the location of the nearest condom supplier -while using a female condom (Reality) -while using both a male and female condom (see if it squeaks) -while the male puts the female condom in her -while you put a male/female condom on your partner -with a dryer repairman -while the dryer squeaks -******************** while trying to complete this page ******************** -draw glow-in-the-dark stars on each other's bodies -while learning French (a romance language "Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?" (Translation: "Would you like to sleep with me tonight?")) -while being anal (take it however it comes) -while beating the shit out of someone for saying "Shhaa" -while watching Wayne's World -on Wayne's World -while listening to Cream (the group) -while taking the SAT's -while being rolled in flour -******************** while distributing copies of this list ******************** -while watching Dr. Who -use turkey feathers -in a furnace -in the walls of a house -while the Washington Capitals beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round of the '91-'92 season -while the Capitals win the Stanley Cup -while listening to "Alive" by Pearl Jam -so Weird Al Yankovic can make a song about you -at a baseball game while watching Joe DiMaggio's 56 consecutive game hitting streak record being broken -while watching baseball bloopers -while sailing on Stars and Stripes -while competing for the America's Cup -in a pool filled with Evian -in a George Lucas movie -use bondage -during the '92 Dire Straits concert (Monday, February 24) -during the '91 Rush concert (Wednesday, December 4) -during the '92 Genesis concert (Tuesday, May 19) -in your god-parent's house -while using a MOST machine -paint nudes of each other -while nude -with Andie MacDowell (Sex, Lies, and Video Tape and Green Card) -dip his cock in semi-chilled Jello, then lick/suck it clean -in a garden of ivy -in order to make yourself late (no pun intended) -in the booth after a teaser for the current play -while suffering from a mild concussion -after falling off a galloping horse -on a galloping horse -after spending enough time in a bath so that the both of you are prunes -while your wife gives birth -with someone who you flirt a lot with -with someone you have been friends with for a long time -after saving a loved one from certain death -while back-packing on the Appalachian trail -while "Chucks" squeaks nearby -while suffering from amnesia -while sitting on the Supreme Court -with a blond -with a brunette -with a red-head -after becoming the head of a country -after becoming the head of a company/corporation -while suffering from flash burn -after killing an evil person -while strapped to a Patriot Missile -while receiving rabies shots -while being shot -in a shopping cart -in marshmallow fluff -use a white, silk scarf -while listening to the Led Zeppelin lyrics, "squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg" -in a labyrinth -use pound-cake -on a fuzzy bathroom rug (watch out for rug burns) -in freshly cut grass -in grass clippings -in a booster seat -in a high chair -under the Aurora Borealis, northern lights in Alaska -between the mattress and the fitted sheet -in the service corridor of City Place -at Mrs. Adkins -at Jared's first birthday party -while reading Musings -while collecting rocks for a rock garden -in Rehoboth, Delaware -while driving to Rehoboth on Memorial Day -in Baby Noodles -in Carla's pool -in Neal's Pool -while watching Carnival of Souls -while taking a purity test -while scoring a 67 on a purity test -while scoring a 72 on a purity test -while buying prom tickets -while buying your senior yearbook -while using your first credit card for the first time -at Nolte Field -while they tear down SHS -while they rebuild SHS -on the first SHS school day at Northwood -at Sheehy Ford -at a graduation party -at an after-prom party -while barefoot -during Memorial Day weekend -on Fury 161 (the penal colony from Alien 3) -with lime Jello and whipped cream -while arguing about when and what to eat -at a Markland convention -while watching a joust -while trying to find a joust -while hanging off a cliff -******************** while trying to complete this list once and for all ******************** -while trying to explain "Mojo"'s love life to his dad -in a field of fake pink flamingoes -in a bed that has been French-sheeted -while listening to WCXR play the top 500 classic rock hits of all time on Memorial Day Weekend -when you're in love -measure his angle (use a protractor) -while signing a yearbook -with your brother/sister 's ex. -in a vegetable garden -on the back of a Greyhound bus (Honeymoons included, Yes?) -on the back of a wet Jaguar XJS (don't tell Mom (yes this is capitalized, it refers to a particular one)) -at WHFS-Festival (July 11, 1992: 11:00 AM to 9:00 PM) Including: Soup Dragons, They Might Be Giants, The Ocean Blue, Manifesto, The Charlatans U.K., and More - (number 1992) - while tripping at graduation This little list of fun things to try has been compiled by "El Horno", "Shoulders", "Mojo", "Cream", "Little Red", "Chucks", and the rest of SHS's Wild Side from the CLASS OF 1992, with a little help from the CLASS OF 1993. Note: The authors of this compilation have chosen to keep their names a secret, and thus have enclosed their nicknames, created for this piece of work, in quotes. The reason for this bit of protection is to hide the authors identities, in case this work should ever be questioned by the administration at Springbrook High School. Furthermore, as plans stand now, this list is to be secretly added to SHS's library, including the addition of a few cards to the card catalog. Additionally we, the authors, have sketchy plans to submit this list to the Library of Congress. Copyright 1992 by JBJ Incorporated. All rights reserved. Printed in "Mojo"'s basement, USA. Third Edition: Wednesday, July 1, 1992. Note: colored paper discontinued. Library of Congress Catalog No.