Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2005 14:52:02 -0500
From: Rogue Writer <roguewriter@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Death, Baked Bob, and the Personal Ad (F/F) (3/4)

A DEATH, BAKED BOB, AND THE PERSONAL AD
By Rogue Writer

(F/F, oral, anal, exhibitionism, jewelry, drugs, tattoos, piercings, food,
bad accents)

DISCLAIMER -- This is a fictional story to be read and enjoyed.  If you can't
read, stop reading.  If you can't enjoy, stop reading.  If you don't like
any of the story codes mentioned above, stop reading.  If you can't stop,
it's not my problem.


Part 3 -- The Worst First Date In Recorded History


I drove slowly to the coffee shop, hoping to minimize the amount of time I
had to spend babysitting Bob's cousin.  The place was two old storefronts
converted into a caffeine junkie's paradise.  The first part where you
walked in was a service area with a counter taking up a whole wall.  A large
doorway in the opposite wall led into the other storefront, which was filled
with tables, chairs and the occasional couch.  The front of the room was a
giant window that looked out onto the street.

Bob's cousin was sitting at a table in front of the window.  I took one look
at this girl and couldn't believe my eyes.  Two words shot to the forefront
of my mind -- pure beauty.  She had a face that looked sweet and innocent,
like one of the princesses in a Disney film.  Bob said she was twenty-four,
but her face looked sixteen and it would be some years before it looked any
older.  Her blonde hair was cut just below her jaw line, with bangs that
made her locks frame her face.  It was an obvious attempt to make her look
older, and it barely worked.

I stood and watched her for a moment.  Something about her seemed off -- the
way she looked around, checking out the wall art, then the waitresses
passing by, then the other people around her.  Her arms went from being on
the table to her lap to hugging herself to back on the table. At first I
thought she had ADD or something, but then it came to me -- she was
uncomfortable.  Maybe she didn't like waiting, or maybe she didn't like
being in crowded rooms with lots of people, or maybe she didn't like sitting
alone, or maybe she didn't like waiting alone in a crowded room full of lots
of people.  In any case I was prolonging her agony by just standing there.

I took one step to approach her and then froze in my tracks.  Andy's phone
call came back to me.  Blonde girl.  This girl was a blonde.  Oh no.  No,
no, no.  In one fluid motion I spun on my heel and was about to make for the
door when --

"Keisha!"

Fuck.  My first mistake was letting that stop me.  My second was responding
to her call by turning around.  She smiled and waved.  It wasn't a wide
smile, she didn't even show any teeth, but there was something so sweet in
it that I couldn't bear to let her down by fleeing.  Even though every fiber
in my body was saying run, I smiled back and walked over to the table.

When I got there she stood and we shook hands.  Jessica wore a necklace with
a silver cross and her right nostril was pierced, a simple silver stud that
winked whenever it hit the light.  "It's good to finally meet you," she
said.

She emphasized the word `finally', making it sound like Bob had talked about
me before today.  Which was funny, because he had never mentioned his cousin
before.  I smiled back and to be polite said, "Same here."  We sat.  When
she spoke, I noticed Jessica's tongue was pierced with a silver bar.  The
waitress came over.  Jessica ordered an espresso and I asked for hazelnut
decaf.

"So," I said as the waitress walked off.

"So" Jessica replied as she smiled.

I hated these moments.  Trying to cut off a prolonged uncomfortable silence,
I said the first thing that came to my mind.  "What do you for a living?"

Jessica gave me a confused look.  "I thought you knew that already."

Great, she thinks Bob talks about her all the time.  I smiled and said,  "I
have a bad memory."

"I'm a receptionist at a dentist's office, but I'm going to night school for
computer programming."  Jessica shrugged, "It's not as cool as being in
advertising like you are, but I was never that creative."

I guess Bob hadn't mentioned my recent career change.  Hearing Jessica talk
about my old job kind of hit me wrong, so I was silent.  Jessica didn't say
anything and we had one of those uncomfortable moments I was dreading.  It
stretched into a full minute and finally I couldn't take anymore.

"So what kind of music do you like?" I asked.  Jessica got a concerned look.
  "What?" I said.

"You are Keisha Parker, right?"

I smiled and nodded sarcastically.  "Uh, yeah."

"Look," she said, "no offense to your bad memory, but if I can remember that
you like old funk because your Dad was a musician, I would think you could
remember that I like punk and metal."

This was worse than running into someone from high school whose name you
can't recall while they remember every class you had together.  "I have to
go to the bathroom," I said.  "I'll be right back."

When I got into a stall I took out my stash and popped a pill.  This is what
I get for doing a favor for a friend, much less Baked Bob.  The girl was
driving me so crazy that I went ahead and popped another pill without even
thinking about it.  I sat on the toilet for a few minutes, waiting for
things to kick in.  Bob would owe me big for tonight.

I walked to the mirror and felt the drug coming on strong as I fixed my
hair.  There was a fight with the bathroom door, which I put an end to when
I stopped pushing and found the handle to pull it open.  I collided with a
woman coming around the corner and apologized about sixty-five times to her.
  The bathroom was in the back of the coffee shop, so it looked like a
forty-mile walk to the table from where I stood.  I just kept telling myself
to take it slow and everything would be fine.

Fine went out the window in the first two steps when I kicked someone's
chair leg.  As I apologized to them I bumped into a waitress and knocked the
cups she was carrying off her tray.  They smashed onto the floor and I tried
to help her pick up the mess.  She kept telling me it was okay and I
realized I was trying to fit the pieces of the cup back together.  I got up
and started walking towards Jessica again, but stopped to tell a woman I
liked her dress and engaged her in a conversation so I could find out where
she got it.  As soon as she mentioned the store name I walked off without
finishing the conversation.  Just before I got to the table I noticed
someone's dessert on a table.  It was a piece of cake drizzled in chocolate
sauce.

"Oh, that looks good," I said as I reached over the person and used my
finger to wipe up some sauce.

"Hey!" he yelled as I licked my finger.

"Mmmmm," I said.  "You're going to love that."

"Are you okay?" Jessica asked as I sat down.

"I'm...just..." My attention wandered for a moment as I felt something against
my face.  I realized it was my hand and put it back into my lap.  "Look," I
said, "I'm trying my best to be...patient here.  It's just hard
because...well...you're being a bitch."

"What?!"

"Yeah."  I felt my hand on my face again and took it away.  "I mean...it's
hard enough...hard enough..." I lost my train of thought, found it again and
said, "I'm here doing a favor for a friend, but all this attitude I'm
getting is --"

Jessica cut me off.  "Wait, what do you mean you're doing a favor for a
friend?"  I stared at her.  She continued, "Look, unless you're the wrong
person, we met on the Internet last week.  You answered my personal ad.
Hell, you sent me your picture, that's how I recognized you.  And now here
you are acting like you never read any of my emails."

A bell started ringing in my head.  I leaned over to get close to Jessica's
face, resisted the urge to lay down on the table, and asked, "You're not
Baked Bob's cousin, are you?"

Jessica threw her hands in the air. "Who the fuck is Baked Bob?!"

In that moment, as fucked up as I was, through the haze of what was left of
my mind, came the words `MUST CASTRATE BOB'.

"That son of a bitch," I said.

"Who?" Jessica asked.

I wasn't paying attention to her anymore.  Without saying another word I got
up and walked to the door, managing to only bump into three customers and
two waitresses.  Outside I walked along the sidewalk, passing the window of
the coffee shop with Jessica staring at me through it.  I got a few more
steps before I realized I was going in the wrong direction.  I turned and
headed to my car, passing the window again.  Jessica was still staring at
me.

When I got to my car I dug through my purse for what seemed like forever
trying to find my keys.  I couldn't believe I kept so much shit in there.
Finally I just turned it over and dumped it all on the ground.  My junk
spread all over the place and I got on my knees, sifting through it like
some prospector looking for a gold nugget.  I acted like I'd found one when
I discovered my keys.  Standing up, I started muttering "Never again,"
referring to how I would never fill my purse with so much shit again.  I was
about to stick the keys in the door when a hand grabbed them from me.

"You can't drive," Jessica said.

"Yes I can!  I found...my keys...so I can drive."

"Look, I don't want to know what you took when you went into the bathroom,
but you can't drive right now.  I'll drive you home and take a taxi from
your place."

"What about your car?"

"I don't have one," she said.

"Well, you can't be a very good driver...if you don't have a...a car."  I
reached out and tried to get the keys from her, but Jessica yanked her hand
back and stuck her finger in my face.

"Shut the fuck up and get in the god dammed car, now."

Dejected, I picked up the stuff from my purse and walked around to the
passenger side door muttering, "Snooty, bitchy Disney princess."

I was silent for the first half of the ride, looking out the window at all
the houses and apartment buildings and wondering what people were doing
inside.  I turned when Jessica asked, "Okay, now I'm curious.  What the hell
did you take when you went to the bathroom?"

"A little pill.  Or two."

Jessica looked at me with wide eyes, then sighed and shook her head.
Silence descended on the car again, and suddenly I felt very disappointed in
myself.  I kept trying to think of something to say, wanting to change her
opinion of me.  When I looked at Jessica something hit me and I perked up.

"I just...figured out something.  About you."

Her face had an annoyed look.  "What wonderful bit of wisdom is that?"

"When we were, where...at the coffee shop!  There was something, about your
eyes, that didn't fit with your face.  Don't worry...it's not a
physical...wait...flaw.  They're dull blue, right?"  Jessica didn't answer so I
continued.  "It really works with your...hair and clear skin."  I reached out
to touch her cheek, but Jessica batted away my hand.

"Stop it," she said.  I sat there quietly until Jessica asked, "So what's
your point?"

"It's just that, I realized what...was bothering me.  What I saw."  Suddenly
my attention was drawn to a diner we were passing, and I could almost smell
the disco fries (that's French fries with melted cheese and gravy, for those
of you poor souls not familiar with it).

"Hello?  Planet Keisha?"

I looked at her.  "It was...pain...in those eyes."  Jessica looked at me.  "And
it's still there," I said.  "It's the kind of pain that shows through, no
matter how much you..." I thought and then shrugged, "...try to smile or look
happy."

Jessica was silent for a minute.  Then she turned to me looking like she was
going to say something, thought better of it and looked back at the road.
We traveled the rest of the way in silence, mostly because I passed out.


The next thing I knew we were walking down the sidewalk to my building.
Actually, Jessica was walking.  I was half-walking, half-being carried.
When we got to the stairs I looked up and saw that Ronald and Tim were at
their usual post.  I groaned but said nothing, hoping we could just pass
them without incident.  No such luck.

"Awwww," Tim started, "what's wrong with my favorite girl?"

"She's had a little too much to drink," Jessica said as she dragged me up
the stairs.  "Think one of you guys could be chivalrous and get the door for
me?"

Ronald snorted.  "We don't assist niggers or nigger-lovers."

Jessica stopped.  All of a sudden I felt something hit my side, and it took
me a moment to realize she had dropped me to the ground.  By the time I
looked up Jessica was standing right in Ronald's face.  "What did you call
her?" she asked.

"Jessica," a croaked voice said.  I realized it was mine.  "Don't," I said,
but no one looked over or acknowledged that I spoke.

Tim smiled.  "You her new bitch?" he asked.  The smile dropped when Tim
realized she wasn't even acknowledging him.

Jessica was staring intently at Ronald.  She asked the question slowly this
time.  "What did you call her?"

Ronald smiled.  "Since you're deaf, I'll repeat it slowly.  Ni-guh-er."

What happened next is one of those moments that stay with you forever.

Jessica's hand moved so fast that it took me a moment to realize something
just happened.  Ronald might not have noticed either, except for the fact
that his head snapped back and there was blood pouring from his nose.   The
surprise in that moment seemed to hang in the air as time slowed down.
Everyone just stood there frozen as our minds tried to digest the shock of
what just happened.   Everyone with the exception of Jessica, who let out a
yell as she struck again, and this time Ronald grasped at his throat.  Then
her hands were against his chest and she used all of her body weight to push
him over the railing.  He fell into the bushes and disappeared.

Tim stood there with his mouth open.  Jessica had just dispatched with his
friend in three very quick moves.  Tim reached out and grabbed Jessica's
hand, but I had no idea what he was trying to do.  I don't think Tim had any
idea either.

"Hang on, I'll help." I said as I started to get up.  My brain spun in my
head, and I fell back down again.

Jessica's foot quickly moved up and then downward, striking Tim in the knee.
  He cried out in pain as he let go of her hand and grabbed at his injured
body part.  Jessica's leg shot outward and kicked Tim's side, sending him
tumbling down the stairs.  I had managed to get to my knees by then.
Suddenly I felt hands around my waist as Jessica helped me to my feet.  She
put my arm over her shoulders and resumed helping me walk.

"We showed them," I muttered.


Once we got into the apartment Jessica said, "Huh.  Nice place.  Not what I
expected from an addict."  On the way to the bedroom we passed a table with
a picture of Monica and I hugging.  I stopped, picked up the picture and
kissed Monica.  "You have a girlfriend?" she asked as I put the picture back
down.

"Yeah," I said.  "But don't worry, she's dead."  I wasn't looking at
Jessica's face, so I don't know how she reacted to that.

In the bedroom Jessica turned on the bedside light.  She lowered me onto the
bed, took off my boots and pulled the covers over me.  Looking down at me
she said, "Well, I can't say it was a boring date.  You managed to embarrass
both of us in a public place, I had to drive you home because you're
addicted to drugs, you passed out on me, I had to carry you to your
apartment, and then there was a fight with Nazi skinheads.  Did I forget
anything?  Oh yes, the fact that this whole thing was a sham to start with
because of someone named `Baked Bob'."

"That son of a bitch," I moaned.

Jessica sighed, shook her head and said, "You did manage to prove that all
my friends who warned me about online dating were right.  So if you don't
mind, I'm going to go home, take down my ad, and get ready for three months
of `I told you so's'."

Jessica turned to leave, but in a burst of energy I reached out and grabbed
her hand.  "Don't go!"

She turned.  "Honey, the last thing this date needs is extra innings."

"I'm scared.  I took two pills...and I've never taken two pills before and
what if...what if...they kill me?"

"Then you're shit out of luck, because I'm not a paramedic."

Jessica's tone was harsh, but I could see her eyes soften.  She stared at me
for a minute.  Finally she shook her head and took off her coat.  "God, I'm
a fucking idiot."

She walked around to the other side of the bed and took off her boots.  Then
she kneeled on the floor facing the bed, made the sign of the cross and
propped her elbows on the mattress with her eyes closed.  I stared at her
until I worked up the courage to ask, "Are you praying?"

One eye opened.  "Yes.  Do you have a problem with it?"

I shook my head.  "Just haven't seen that in a while, that's all."

Her eye closed and she went back to praying.  I stared at the ceiling and
tried not to pass out.  It seemed like quite a while.  Suddenly Jessica said
out loud, "And God, please do not let Keisha die during the night.  Also,
now that I think about it, please do not let her wake up, grab a knife and
stab me to death.  Amen."

Jessica climbed into the bed next to me.  "You don't snore, do you?"

"No."

"Good."  She turned on her side facing away from me.  "Wake me up if you're
going to die."

I lay there for a full minute, on my back, with the covers pulled up to my
neck.  The room was moving like an old television set that lost its vertical
hold.  I closed my eyes.  Even the black was moving.

"Are you going to turn off that light?" Jessica asked.

In a hoarse voice I said, "I'm afraid I'll fall."

Jessica groaned, turned around and reached over me to turn off the light.
Her neck was right near my nose and suddenly I smelled something very
familiar.

It was Monica's perfume.

Jessica shut off the light and went back to her side.  I opened my eyes and
remembered what Monica had taught me about meditation.  Taking in a slow,
deep breath while counting to ten, letting it out while counting to ten.  I
felt a little more in control.  Another deep breath and the tension eased.

"Jessica," I said.

"Call me Jess.  What?"

I paused.  "Thank you."

Just before I fell asleep I heard, "Yeah."


At some point I woke up.  Nothing was spinning anymore.  Pre-dawn light
streamed through the blinds that I normally close before going to sleep,
allowing me to see in the room.  The bedside clock said it was quarter to
six in the morning.

I looked over and saw Jess next to me.  She was lying on her back and she
looked like an angel.  Her face was as smooth as a porcelain doll.  I lay
there for a while and watched Jess sleep, her chest slowly moving up and
down, her nostrils flaring slightly with each breath.  I leaned over to get
a scent of her perfume, the same one Monica used to wear.  Jess' full lips
were pink and looked so soft.  I leaned down, just to give a slight kiss to
them, and became intoxicated by their feel.  They were everything they
looked to be.  I didn't want to separate my mouth from them, so I went in
for more.

I leaned against her a little, and that must have woken her up.  Jess' eyes
popped open and I felt her hands on me.  Her reaction was instant as she
flipped us over and held my hands down, using her pelvis to pin mine down to
the bed.  Jess' breathing was steady but audible.  There was a wild, feral
look in her eyes.

I was ready for anything.  If she yelled or called me names, if she slapped
me or punched me in the nose, if she got up and stormed out.  I even found
myself wishing she would kill me.  Deep down I knew my life had turned to
shit, and I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to turn it around.  I
wanted her to do something, anything.  Whatever it was I was ready to take
it, because in so many ways I felt like I deserved it.

I was ready for anything.  Except what happened next.

Jess leaned down and kissed me.  She missed my mouth a little, adding to the
feeling that she was unsure about the kiss.  At first I didn't respond,
genuinely surprised at her action, but then I adjusted so our mouths met
properly and sent my tongue after hers.  A slight panic came over me when I
felt something hard, but then I remembered her tongue stud.  It was strange
working around a piece of metal in someone else's mouth.  Jess still held my
hands down, so I lifted my head towards hers.  A noise came from her, a moan
or a sigh, and then she let my hands go and brought hers to the sides of my
face.  I put my arms around her body and pulled it tight to mine, then
rolled us so I was on top.  Our kissing became more primal, driven by a need
to be inside one another.  It almost felt like we were two people finally
quenching a long-denied lust, which seems ridiculous since we'd only met the
night before.  My hands slid under her top and I caressed her sides.

My fingers ran over bumps on her skin, odd ones that I couldn't think of any
easy explanation for.  But I didn't really care.  I felt something,
something that didn't want me to stop what was happening, even for a moment.
  I pulled away from the kiss and started placing little kisses on her
cheeks and on her forehead. Jess took a deep breath through her nose and let
it out through her mouth.  I started kissing along her jaw line and down her
neck.  My hands could feel the muscles in Jess' torso tense up as I kissed
down her chest.  I brought my hands down and started to bring up her blouse.

Suddenly Jess' hands were on my wrists, stopping me.  Her eyes locked with
mine, and she shook her head.

"It's okay," I said softly.

The look on her face had changed, and I saw fear in her eyes.  "No," she
said, her voice barely audible.  "I don't want you to see."

"Trust me."

The look on her face was that of a scared little girl.  I was about to
repeat my last statement when her hands let go of my wrists and fell to her
sides.  I changed strategies and started unbuttoning her blouse.  Jess
swallowed hard and closed her eyes.  When I reached the last button I
paused, and then started to pull open the blouse.  Jess made a whimpering
sound and I stopped.

"It's okay," I repeated.  Then I opened her blouse.

There were scars, at least a dozen of them, maybe more.  Red and raised
skin, crisscrossed along her sides and some coming into her chest and
stomach areas.  They were long and thin, like they had been made by a whip
or thin belt.  I started kissing her belly, trying to let her know I wasn't
bothered by what I saw.  There was a tribal tattoo around Jess' belly
button, which was also pierced at the top and had a jewel on a metal bar
that hung into the deep hole.  I licked up and down, over the tattoo and
then over one of the scars.  I placed little kisses everywhere along her
belly.  My tongue played with the metal in her belly button, then I licked
along one of the scars.

I started working my way up to her bra, a simple white one with a clasp in
the front.  Jess moaned as I went to unhook the clasp.  It wasn't a moan of
pleasure, more like a moan of dread.  When I opened the bra I could see why.
  There were large, circular scars on her breasts, just outside of each
nipple.  It took me a moment to realize they were burn marks. I also noticed
both her nipples were pierced with medium gauge silver rings.  Tattooed on
her left breast was a little red heart and the words  "Sweet Heart".

I kissed all over her breasts, including the scars, and then centered in on
her nipples.  I ran my tongue over her right one a few times.  Jess' eyes
were squeezed shut like she was waiting for something painful.  I put my
hand to the side of her face and rubbed my thumb along her cheek.  "Relax,"
I said.

She relaxed her face but kept her eyes shut.  I started licking her nipple
again, running my tongue over it and around it, hooking the nipple ring and
pulling up slightly.  Jess made an audible exhale.  I moved over to the
other nipple, doing the same while my fingers kept the other one excited.
She made a gasp and then a moan when I used my teeth lightly.  Her eyes
opened.  I got up on my knees and took off my top and my bra, so that when I
laid back down our skin was touching.  Our faces inches apart, Jess leaned
up and kissed me.  This time there was no hesitation.  Now she was hungry
for it.

Her hands glided along my back, stopping to rub here and there.  I could
feel the metal of the nipple rings against my breasts.  As I kissed her, I
realized how different this felt from the sex I'd been having over at
Renee's lately.  There I was just having fun, letting loose and trying to
forget what I'd just been through.  And maybe being used a little bit, but I
accepted that because you rarely get something for nothing.  But being with
Jess felt different.  From the moment I'd seen her the night before, I had a
desire to be with her, an overwhelming urge to somehow exist in her world.
I didn't understand it then, which is why I let Andy's warning almost lead
me out of there, but I knew I felt something.  She was special somehow.

The kiss ended and I got back on my knees.  Her face started dropping again
when she realized what I wanted, but she didn't tell me to stop.  I undid
the button and then the zipper of her skirt.  Looking up at her face, I gave
her a warm smile, trying to ease her tension.  It was going to take more
than my smile.  I slid the skirt down her legs and past her feet, noticing
the small leopard she had tattooed on the outside of her right ankle and the
sliver toe rings she had on each index toe.  Jess wore a pair of standard
white panties and I could see more scars peeking around the edges.  Instead
of acknowledging them I brought her left foot to my mouth and started to
lick it, along the instep and then the bottom.  It tickled her a little and
she made a sharp noise as she pulled away a little.  The corners of her
mouth were up slightly.

I said, "Well, it's good to see you almost smiled."

Jess' face brightened a little.  I brought her foot back to my mouth and
started to suck on her toes.  My tongue rolled around the toe ring and then
I played with it with my fingers.  Looking Jess in the eye I said, "I love
these things.  They look so sexy on a girl."  Her face showed little
reaction to that, so I picked up the other foot and gave it the same
treatment.  When I licked the area with the tattoo, I paused to tell her how
impressive the artwork looked.  She gave me a shy smile.  Soon I lowered her
foot and put my fingers into the waistband of her panties.  Jess bit on her
lower lip.

When I pulled them down I had to work hard not to react.  So far, what I had
seen could easily have been parental abuse.  But looking at what her panties
covered, I realized that Jess had been outright tortured.  There were easily
twice as many scars in her crotch area as there were over the rest of her
body.  She was shaved, which made it all more visible.  But what was really
disturbing were the burn marks.  There were two of them, on either side of
her mons, in the shape of crosses.  Then I realized they weren't just burn
marks.  They were brands.

I heard a sniffle and looked up at her face.  "It's horrible, isn't it?" she
whispered.

There was no point in denying it.  "Yes, it is," I said, and ran my hand
along the area.  Looking her straight in the eye I added, "But you're not."

Jess' lip twitched and I wasn't sure how she took my statement.  I leaned
down and kissed along her pubic bone and then along one of the scars.  My
tongue came out and licked the area.  I noticed there were two words
tattooed in a half-arch over her mons -- "Never Again".

Taking a deep breath I used my fingers to spread her open.  It was what I
expected.  There were several scars, which looked worse since the skin down
there is thinner.  I closed my eyes and started licking, going by feel more
than anything.  Making sure to lick all over and skip nothing, I felt all
the bumps of every scar on my tongue.  Jess started reacting, beginning with
several small moans and working up to loud cries as I started working on her
clit, which was pierced with the same size silver ring as her breasts.  I
rubbed my fingers around her slit, getting them coated in some juice before
I slid a finger inside her.  She let loose with a long, sing-songy moan that
almost made me laugh.  I started fucking her slowly as my tongue licked her
clit, flicking it and rubbing my tongue against it.  I hooked the ring in my
tongue and pulled back a little and that caused her to yell, "Oh!"

Spurned on by her cry, I pulled a few more times, increasing the volume of
her moans.  Then I went back to licking and sucking on her clit.  My finger
pumped fast, and soon I added a second one.  Jess was moaning with every
breath now, and when I looked up I was surprised with what I saw.  Her
thumbs were hooked into her nipple rings and pulling them up sharply,
causing her breasts to elongate.  Most people would immediately worry about
how painful that was, but my first thought was wondering how much pleasure
it caused.  Monica always joked that I'd try anything to see if it caused an
orgasm or a heightened sexual reaction.  After Baked Bob and Asian Andy
dragged us to the movie `Jackass', she was worried that I would stick a
firecracker in my cunt just to see if it made me orgasm.  I assured her I
would never do anything that stupid.  But it did get me wondering.

I increased the speed of my fingers as I licked and sucked on Jess' clit.
The taste of her honey drove me to work harder, and she let out a long moan
as she shuddered to a climax.  I leaned my head on the inside of her leg,
trying not to look at the scars.  Suddenly, I felt her hands on my head and
heard her say something.

"What?" I asked.

"Thank you."  A tear ran down her cheek.  She wiped it away quickly.

When I woke up again it was nine thirty.  Jess was leaned up against my body
and we were holding each other.  I could hear her snoring lightly.  Careful
not to wake her, I slid from out of her arms and crawled out of the bed.
Lately I'd become very successful at slipping out of beds without waking
people.  Maybe I should consider a career in burglary.

I went to the kitchen and put some water in the teapot.  Then I tried to
find some stuff in the fridge to serve, but since my diet recently consisted
of little white pills and takeout I had kind of let things slide.

There was a rustling noise, and when I walked out of the kitchen Jess was
sitting on the couch with her coat on.  She stood when she saw me.

"I...just wanted to say thank you, before I left.  And I hope I wasn't too
rude to you last night.  It's just --"

I held up my hands.  "I don't think either of us is responsible for how we
acted last night."

Jess nodded.  We stood there for a moment in silence.  It seemed like she
wanted to leave, but something was making her hesitate.  I wondered if she
was working up the courage to say something.  Holding my arm towards the
couch, I said, "Would you mind sitting for a minute?  I want to ask you
something."

Her face brightened a little at my first sentence, but sank when I mentioned
a question.  She sat down and I sat next to her.  There was a long,
uncomfortable silence while I figured out how to ask the question, and
decided whether or not I really wanted to know the answer.  Jess played with
the sleeve of her coat, her eyes fixed on the table in front of her.  It
occurred to me that she knew what I wanted to ask.

Jess spoke first.  "Trust me, you don't really want to know."

I sat there and stared at her for a moment.  She was trying to control her
emotions, but Jess' face gave away the struggle going on inside her head.

I said, "You know, it might help if you talk about it."

Jess looked at me and then looked away.  "You already think I'm some kind of
freak.  Having all these tattoos and piercings when I already have all
that...you know."

"I think I understand," I said.  "You're just trying to reclaim your body.
Make it yours again."

I must have surprised her, because Jess stared at me like I'd just told her
the Earth was flat.  After a long pause she said, "You sure you want to
know?"

"I'm not just trying to be nice."

Jess took in a deep breath through her nose and let it out the same way.
She spoke in a slow and deliberate manner.  "When I was fifteen, and I
started to figure things out, about me, I used my dad's computer to do some
research.  Websites, gay community stuff, support groups.  Of course, there
were none in my area."  Jess paused before a sly smile grew on her mouth.
"And then I found sex stories.  So I printed off a bunch and hid them in my
closet."  She took in air again, but this time Jess held it for a few
seconds before she exhaled.  "My mom had been looking for stuff to give to
Goodwill when she found them."  Jess shook her head slightly as the memory
replayed itself behind her eyes.  "The way she looked at me, like I was from
another world.  She told my dad and..." Jess looked at me.  " You have to
understand, my parents are extremely religious people."

"Extremely?" I said.

"I used to joke that they made evangelicals look like atheists."

"Holy shit."

Jess nodded.  "They said my soul was at stake, that they'd do anything to
save me.  I got so angry.  I told them the only people I needed saving from
was them.  My mom pleaded with me, told me I had to repent before the devil
claimed me.  I tried telling her the devil had nothing to do with it, but
that was like telling a fish not to swim."

I chuckled.  Jess gave me a serious look.  "Sorry," I said.

"That night I couldn't sleep.  I was scared and pissed off, but mostly I was
worried.  I realized that what happened earlier was going to be the norm for
a while...started to wonder if I was going to have to leave home before
college.  I could hear my parents were still awake downstairs.  Figured they
were going to put in an all-nighter, trying to figure out how to save their
daughter."  Jess swallowed hard.  "Then the door opened and the light came
on.  Before I could see what was happening my mom was holding me down and my
dad used some of his belts to tie me to the bed."

I felt something turn in the pit of my stomach.  Jess' lower lip was
trembling and her hands were balled into tight fists.  "They kept me
strapped to that bed for three months, and they...they...it...um..."

I put my hand on Jess' forearm to let her know she didn't have to say
anything else.  She was on the verge of crying, but her face was tight like
she was fighting it off.  In a minute her face softened and she took another
breath.  It made me realize I needed to breathe too.

Without looking at me, Jess said, "I'm sorry.  I need to go."

And she did.  We didn't exchange phone numbers or anything, somehow it just
didn't seem appropriate.  Besides, after Andy's premonition I wasn't jumping
to have a blonde in my life.  What I did want was to follow through on my
castration plan for Bob, but I felt like I could sleep for another eight
hours.  I went to my bedroom and did just that.  Didn't really matter.  I
knew where he'd be that night.


AUTHOR'S NOTE  - Unfortunately, we are about to have another change in point
of view.  Bob wanted the scene where he sees Keisha for the first time after
the date to be from his perspective.  He was so sure it was going to be such
a great moment.  And it was.  (PS- I went for the mother load this time.
Six bottles of Captain Morgan's Private Stock, an ounce of weed, DVD copies
of `Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle', `But I'm A Cheerleader!,' the second
season of `Farscape', and a VHS copy of `Beyond The Valley of the Dolls'.
I'm getting to like bribery.)

Hey, Baked Bob again.  I can't believe how well the whole setup with Keisha
worked out.  At first I thought she wasn't going to go for it, but then she
did and I got so excited that I forgot to tell her all the things Jessica
told me about herself.  Ah, well, I'm sure they got along just fine.
Keisha's a smart girl, and this Jessica seemed like the no-nonsense type
Keisha likes.

I was standing on a side street against the outside wall of The Stoned
Tongue, along with Trilly, Sam and Asian Andy.  Trilly had just handed me a
joint, and said, "Try this and tell me it's not really good shit."

I took a hit.  It had a good smell, and after another hit I started feeling
the effect. "Not bad," I said.

I was about to hand off the joint when Andy turned to me.  "Bob, you might
want to cover your --"

Suddenly Keisha came around the corner.  I was so excited to see her and
find out how the date went.  "Hey!  There's my girl!  How'd it go?"

Keisha slapped me hard on the face.  I didn't understand the negative
reaction, but I was too busy being impressed to worry about it.  "Holy shit,
I didn't even feel that!"  I turned to Trilly and held up the joint.  "This
is really good shit!"

I'd barely turned back around before Keisha kicked me in the nuts.  Pain
shot through my entire body and I crumpled to the ground.  I watched
Keisha's feet as she stormed away.  It was simply great instincts that kept
the hand holding the joint from crushing it under my body.

Trilly took the joint from my hand as I moaned in pain.  He said, "Sorry
man, it ain't that good."

AUTHROR'S NOTE: We now return to our regularly scheduled first person.

Sending Bob's nuts to his throat felt better than it should have.
Afterwards I went to Renee's just to hang out.  Renee was on the phone in
her office.  I found Zhi watching television in the bedroom.

"Where's Duscha?" I asked her.

"Took money to Tyler."

No one had told me outright, but over time I'd surmised that Duscha was the
one who delivered Tyler his cut of the drug business.  At the same time,
everyone assumed that I'd figured this out and talked freely about it around
me.  I'd also learned that Duscha had come to Renee by way of Tyler, which
is why she was trusted with this duty.  Duscha liked to party, and Tyler had
lots to party with, so whenever she delivered the money it usually meant she
was out for the night.

I sat next to Zhi on the bed.  She was watching some reality show.
Indicating the television, she asked, "Why do they let this be done to
them?"

I shook my head.  "Stupidity, mostly."

Zhi looked up at me.  I realized she wanted more of an answer.

"For some people, it's better to be famous for doing something stupid than
it is not to be famous at all."

Zhi looked at the screen and was quiet for a moment.  Then she said,
"Duscha."

I immediately understood what she meant and laughed.  Zhi started laughing
too, and I realized it was the first time I'd heard her do so.  As our
laughing slowed she looked at me with a mischievous grin and said, "Do you
wish to see something?"

I nodded and Zhi scrambled off the bed and opened the closet.  She dug
around until she pulled out a large box that she brought to the bed and put
down between us.  There were pictures inside, dozens of them, mostly black
and white.  I picked up a handful and started looking.  They were family
pictures, and at first I didn't know what was so special about them.  A man,
woman, and three children, mostly around a house in what looked like an
upscale suburban neighborhood.  Based on the items and hairstyles in the
pictures, the time period looked to be mid to late 1960's.  I still didn't
get it.  But as I kept going and the youngest daughter got older, I started
to recognize something familiar in the face.

"Oh my God," I finally said.  "Is this Renee?"

Zhi nodded enthusiastically.  I kept going through the pictures.  Renee was
originally a red head, and her skin was as pale as could be.  Her skin color
now was most likely a salon job.  I started to laugh.

Zhi reached into the bottom of the box and pulled out a large book.  "Best
part," she said as she handed it to me.

It was a yearbook for a high school in Durbin, Michigan, class of 1982.  Zhi
opened the book for me and flipped the pages until we got to a picture of a
teenage Renee in the senior class.  Zhi pointed at the name under the
picture.  I laughed out loud.  Renee's real name was Rachel Horowitz.

We put everything back in the box and Zhi returned it to the closet.  I
could see the tattoo on her ass and remembered about wanting to ask her what
it meant.  To be honest, there were many things about Zhi that I wanted to
know.  Her English was very good at times and then very spotty at others,
making me curious about when she came to this country and why.  I also
wondered how she came to be with Renee.  After what she just showed me, I
realized this might be a good time to ask, and decided to do it as she sat
down next to me.

But before I could say anything we looked at each other and started laughing
again.  It felt good to laugh.  I felt like I hadn't had a good laugh in
forever.  When the laughter died down, Zhi and I looked at each other and I
saw the sadness in her eyes again.  But this time there was something else
there as well.  She leaned in and I did the same and our lips met.  We were
hesitant at first, almost like both of us felt the need for caution.  The
kisses were slow and sensual and soft.  I could feel the warm breath coming
from her nostrils.  Our tongues got involved and she put her hands to my
face.  My hands went to her sides, stroking up and down her bare flesh.

Zhi fell back on the bed and pulled me on top of her.  We broke the kiss and
I licked my way down to her small, dark nipples, sucking and licking one and
then the other.  Once I felt I had her good and worked up I slid the rest of
the way down her body.  Zhi's legs were hanging over the side of the bed and
I knelt on the floor between them.  She was shaved except for a small, thin
strip in the front, which I ran my fingers through to tease her.  Zhi moaned
and brought her legs up and rested them on my shoulders.  I brought my arms
around her hips so my fingers could open her flower, allowing me to run my
tongue over its entire length.  She let out a gasp.  I began licking her
folds to get her going, soon tasting her fluids and then positioning my
tongue to the entrance of her slit.  I kept it stiff as I pushed it in
slowly; brought it out and pushed it back in again. Zhi's breathing was
audible and she crossed her feet behind me, locking my body into hers.  Then
I started moving my head quickly, fucking her with my tongue.   Her
breathing turned into grunts.  My tongue was coated in fluid and I had some
on my face as well.

Zhi yelled something in her native tongue.  I pulled mine out of her and
brought it to her clit and started licking.  Zhi's legs stretched straight
out as she came.  She lay on the bed, spent, while I stood and took off my
clothes.  I climbed onto the bed and lay next to her body, watching her
chest rise and fall.  She reached out and touched my face.

"That was good," she said.

"I'm glad you liked it."

Her hand moved down to my breast and stroked along it lightly.  This
treatment cause my nipple to harden and soon she pinched and rolled it
between her thumb and index finger.  I leaned down and we kissed again.  She
looked at me.

"Climb on me," she said.

I brought myself up and straddled her head.  Zhi's hands stroked my sides as
I brought my hands down between my legs and held myself open for her.  Zhi's
tongue licked up and down and side to side and diagonally.  This was what
she always did.  When I asked her about it she said that back in China
someone had taught her to eat pussy by drawing the alphabet.  An
ex-girlfriend had done it to me once and I found it pretty boring.  But with
Zhi it seemed much more stimulating, and at first I didn't understand the
difference.  Then one day it occurred to me -- Zhi was doing the Chinese
alphabet.

Zhi's hands came to my breasts and she started to run her fingers over them.
  I moaned a little.  Zhi's tongue started working exclusively on my clit.
I moaned a lot.  My hips started moving and grinding.  I ran my fingers
through her hair and looked down at her closed eyes.  She alternated between
licking and sucking.  As I got closer I started bucking my hips.  My head
tilted back and Zhi started pinching my nipples, sending little shock waves
through me.  Then my mouth dropped open and it happened.  No sound came from
my throat, just a silent jump from pleasure to an explosion.  I dropped face
forward on the bed.  Zhi climbed out from under me and onto my back and
hugged me as she laughed.  "Good?"

I took in a deep breath.  "It hardly sucked," I said.  "Well actually...forget
it."

The door opened and Renee walked in.  "Well, well, what have you two been up
to?"

Zhi and I looked at each other and started laughing.


When I woke up the next morning I got dressed and left Renee's without
waking anyone.  Yep, burglary is my new career.  Driving back to my place, I
thought about my encounter with Zhi.  It was different from the threesome we
had with Renee afterwards, or any other sex I'd had with Zhi previously.
Making love with Jess had the kind of deeper passion I'd experienced with
Monica.  But what happened between Zhi and I last night was something else
entirely, something to do with the sadness I felt we shared, the sense of
loss that had made us similar in some way.  Like two people comforting each
other, just a little more intimate than how it usually happens.

When I got to my building I noticed Tim standing across the street.  I
wasn't sure why, usually he'd wait for Ronald on the front steps.  There was
a concerned look on his face, so I rushed inside before anything happened.
When I stopped in the lobby to grab my mail, I noticed the nametag on
Ronald's mailbox was gone.  Thinking that was too good to be true, I stopped
by the super's apartment to confirm it.  Turns out it was too good and true
-- Ronald had moved out.  The super was as excited about it as I was, and
when he asked if I knew why, I couldn't help but tell him the truth.  Of
course, I left out the detail of my condition at the time.  We had a good
laugh at the thought of Ronald being embarrassed over having his ass kicked
by a girl.  I was still flying high at the thought when I found a bouquet of
flowers at the door of my apartment.  The note read:

Keisha,

You're going to think I'm nuts, but I'd like to give us another chance.  For
years now I've been keeping my distance from people.  Many have tried and
failed, sometimes for months, to get me to open up.  Then in one night, you
got me to tell you everything.  I can't believe its just coincidence.  From
the moment I saw your picture it struck something in me, and despite the
deception of how we met, and that first date from Hell, I still look at your
picture and get that feeling.  I'm convinced we need to give this a shot.
Please give me a chance to convince you.

Jess

She included her address and phone number at the bottom.  The sincerity of
the note hit me hard, and for a moment I was ready to pick up the phone and
call her.  But then I looked at the flowers, specifically a rose sticking
out of the top, and a memory struck like a bolt of lightning.  A rose I had
in my hand for Monica when I knocked on her apartment door.  We were at that
point when you're going from just dating to a more serious relationship, and
I wanted to discuss it with her.  She was making me dinner at her place and
I showed up dressed to make her mouth water.  But I knew she had outdone me
when the door opened and she stood there stark naked.  She wore a belly
chain made of dark beads around her waist and a wide smile on her face.

She looked at the rose.  "Is that for me?"

"That depends," I said as I returned the smile and jutted my chin at her
body.  "Is that for me?"

The tip of her tongue licked the left corner of her lip.  I stepped towards
her and used the rose to playfully brush back and forth over her right
nipple.  Monica's eyes fluttered and I heard her exhale softly.  I moved the
rose over to her left nipple while my other hand reached out and covered her
right breast, squeezing it gently.  Monica moved closer and kissed me softly
on the lips.  I pressed my mouth into hers and our lips began to shower each
other with kisses.  Our bodies drew closer, so I brought my arms around
Monica and used the rose on her butt.  I ran it up and down each cheek and
then up and down her crack.  She gave a little whimper as I did this, and
then latched her mouth to mine and sent her tongue in.  I could feel her
bare breasts though my shirt as her arms wrapped around me and squeezed my
body into hers.  My tongue responded and we stood there for a while, kissing
passionately as I used the rose to spurn her on, oblivious to the fact that
the front door was still open.  A stampede of wild boar could have run
through the hallway and we wouldn't have noticed.

Suddenly Monica broke the kiss and pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it
across the room.  Then she ripped my bra past my breasts without any regard
to causing pain.  I don't think I could have felt any at that moment.  I
dropped the rose and we embraced again, our bare breasts mashed against each
other, my hands roughly kneading her ass cheeks and our mouths locked
together.  Monica's hands pulled my skirt down, leaving me wearing my thong
and my knee-high leather boots.  Her hand made its way to my crotch and
pressed against the triangle of fabric that kept my pubic hair from
escaping.  I moaned as she did it, mostly to indicate that I wanted her to
continue without having to break our kiss.

Luckily she picked up on my subtle hint.  Her fingertips started to move
over my pubic hair protector and excited me more.  Monica brought her hand
up and under the waistband so she was in direct contact with my mound.  She
flattened her hand and pressed it, curling the top joint of her fingers to
tease me with a hint of what was to come.  I decided to tease her too,
running my fingers down into her crack and finding her little dark hole.  I
rubbed a finger back and forth across it, finally centering it right over it
and giving the slightest bit of pressure.

Monica broke the kiss and looked at me.  Her eyes had a wild look, like
she'd lost control.  "You're such a fucking tease," she said.

"Excuse me," I said a little breathlessly.  "But who has her hand in my
panties right now?"

I heard a voice and looked behind me.  Two guys were walking past in the
hallway.  The one who was talking wouldn't have noticed us if the other one
hadn't happened to be looking our way.  He grabbed his friend's arm and
pulled him back.  My body was blocking them from seeing Monica, but they had
a perfect view of my ass.  They were staring intently at us with wide eyes.
I couldn't tell if they were trying to savor the moment of if their brains
had gone into complete meltdown.

Finally one of them said, "Nice ass."

"Thanks," I responded.

Monica reached behind me and threw the door shut.  She started kissing me
again passionately and pulled me towards the bedroom.  We stumbled over
something and then fell back onto the bed, still kissing.  I started moving
my tongue down her neck until I was between her breasts.  Sucking each
nipple in turn, I watched Monica bite her lip and moan with her eyes closed.
  She looked so sexy.  I continued moving down until I was between her legs.
  Sticking my face in her hairy mound, I grabbed some of the hairs between
my lips and pulled my face back, allowing the hairs to pull a little as they
slipped away from me.  My girl let out a loud moan.

"Keish," she said.  "Would you mind, um...you know..."

I did know.  Monica was a self-described anal freak.  A few weeks earlier
we'd had a conversation about what each of us was into sexually, and when
she brought it up I was a little hesitant.  But then she did it to me and I
liked what I felt.  Returning the favor took a little more time, but once I
got over my initial reservations I started to enjoy the effect it had on
her.  Eventually I would joke that the fastest way to Monica's heart was
through her asshole.

Monica rolled her onto her stomach and I grabbed her hips and pulled her
lower body up on her knees.  Then she grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled them
apart, exposing her private parts to me.  I stuck my face between them and
started rimming her asshole.  A loud, long moan escaped Monica.  By holding
herself open, Monica allowed my hands some freedom.  One played with her
pussy while I sent the other between my legs.  I ran my fingers up and down
Monica's slit.  She was very wet and her skin felt very warm.  It was the
same between my legs, where my finger started working me up the ladder of
pleasure.

The more I licked Monica's rosebud, the louder she moaned.  Monica stuck her
face in the pillow to try and quiet her growing noise.  I pulled my face
back and brought up my finger coated in Monica's juices.  Placing my finger
at her crinkled hole, relaxed by my rim job, I slowly pushed in a little,
stopped, pushed in a little more, pulled out a little, then pushed in some
more and stopped again.  One thing Monica had taught me was that with anal
sex, no matter how experienced (and stretched) the other person is, it's
always best to take it slow.   Aside from avoiding discomfort, it also
increases the pleasure by bringing it on slowly.  Soon I had my entire
finger up her tailpipe (as she liked to call it).  I wiggled it around,
causing Monica to have a sharp intake of breath.  Slowly I pulled it almost
all the way out, then pushed all the way in again.

"Keisha...fucking good."

With that, I started increasing my pace, my finger moving in and out with
greater speed.  With great regret I took my other hand away from my pussy to
play with her pussy, running the fingers around her hole, teasing it before
I slipped a digit inside.  I alternated the fingers while trying to keep
them at the same pace.  Slipping another finger in her pussy made Monica
moan louder and she started calling my name.  Then she moaned something that
I couldn't make out.  "What?" I asked.

"Toys.  We need toys."  Monica threw her upper body over the side of the bed
and I tried to move with her to keep my fingers in position.  There were
sounds of rummaging, followed by a few anal vibrators and a tube of lube
being tossed onto the bed.  Monica looked back at me with a wicked grin on
her face.

I smiled and said, "What's the plan?"

Monica quickly positioned us into a sixty-nine with her on top.  We lubed up
the anal vibrators and started slowly pushing them into each other.  We
wouldn't turn them on until the right time.  Since I was on the bottom,
Monica didn't have much room to maneuver hers in and out, but I was new to
the anal thing and hadn't been stretched much anyway.  I stared licking
Monica, and she gave a quick moan before starting on me.  There was plenty
of her sweet honey for me to savor as I licked and sucked on her clit.  I
moved the vibrator slowly in and out of her, trying to keep a steady pace.
It wasn't easy.  Monica's tongue had me going in no time, and I felt the
pressure of the vibrator move into my rectum.  Both caused pleasure
sensations that made my efforts to concentrate practically painful.  I
flicked my tongue back and forth over Monica's clit as I felt her sucking on
mine, and sucked hers as she licked mine.  I heard her giggle when she must
have picked up on it.

Monica started pressing her hips towards my face.  I figured she was on the
edge, so I licked faster and sucked harder.  She stopped what she was doing
to me and said, "Turn on mine!"

My fingers twisted the end of the vibrator and it buzzed to life.  Monica
let out a few short, loud moans followed by a "Yeahhhhhhhh!"  I continued to
move the vibrator in and out of her slowly as my tongue worked at lightning
speed.  Finally she slumped on top of me and I stopped.  Monica was still
for a few moments, but soon started licking my clit again.  I lapped up her
juices and then kept going.  I was soon on the edge myself and told her to
start the vibrator.  It moved inside of me and I gasped, the feeling of its
sensations on my sphincter muscles was intense.  Monica started sucking on
my clit and humming at the same time, which drove me over the edge.  I felt
the spasms in my stomach muscles as I arched forward.  My body jerked a few
more times before I slumped down again.  The only sound in the room was our
heavy breathing as our bodies tried to regain control of themselves.

That was the first of many orgasms that night.

Later, we lay on top of the covers, facing each other, trying to catch our
breath as our hands stroked each other's sides.

"What do you want in a relationship?" I asked.  It was what I had planned to
ask over dinner, before her libido jumped me at the door.

"Besides great, hot sex?"

I smiled.  "Let's assume that's a given."

Monica laughed, and then looked thoughtful for a moment.  She looked me in
the eye, seemed to come to a decision about something, and said, "I want to
get married."

I raised my eyebrows.  Monica frowned and said, "I scared you, didn't I?"

"No, just surprised me.  You don't seem the type."

Monica smiled. "What is `The Type'?"

"That I don't know.  I know what it isn't, like you.  You're wild and
unpredictable."

"And those types don't marry?"

"I'm not sure they should," I said.  Monica looked at me with a question in
her eyes.  I took a breath.  "My mom was wild and unpredictable.  Dad says
that's what attracted him to her.  She was always the life of the party, and
when there was no party she created one, even after they got married.  But
when I came along...my dad says she probably wasn't ready for it."  I felt the
corners of my mouth turn down.  "But I think she just couldn't handle
responsibility.  She told my dad he wasn't making enough just doing studio
work and that she hated living in our apartment.  Then one day, Mom just
took off.  Left a note saying she was going to Hollywood to become an
actress.  No one ever heard from her after that."

Monica was silent for a while.  The she said, "So you think I shouldn't get
married?"

I swallowed.  "I just think you better be sure you want what comes with it."

Monica was silent again for a moment.  I watched her thinking, and something
came over me in that moment.  Before I could even process the thought, the
words came out of my mouth.  "I love you."

She looked at me wide eyed.  I forced a smile.  "Now I scared you.  Sorry."

Suddenly Monica smiled.  "I read somewhere that something worth having
should scare you a little."

I leaned in and we shared a slow, sensual kiss that felt like it should
never end.


I avoided calling Jess.  Lying on the couch, I listened to music and tried
to sort things out in my head.  I was torn between wanting the feeling I'd
had with Monica again and dreading the loss that could come with it.
Eventually the thoughts of Monica became too much again and I popped a pill.
  Welcome to oblivion.

The next day I was working in the video store.  Bob was in his office,
hiding from the strained conversations we'd had since the nut launching.
The store was dead and towards the end of my shift I got sick of watching
movies, so I turned on the local news.  It was all the usual fun stories
involving death, destruction, and mayhem, perfectly uplifting for someone
just recovering from a loss.  Jiminy Cricket came in, grabbed his porno and
checked out.  When I looked back at the screen there was a graphic over the
shoulder of the newscaster with the words "Half body found."  I found the
remote and turned up the volume.

"...the right half of her body was found in the river this morning.  Police
divers are still searching for the other half.  She was naked, which has
hampered police efforts to identify her.  The woman appears to be in her
late teens to early twenties, five foot six with red hair and blue eyes.
Anyone with information about this gruesome killing can contact..."

I felt like I was going to be sick.  While I didn't particularly care for
Dushca, no one deserved to die like that.  There was a moment when I almost
picked up the phone to call the police and give an anonymous tip about
Tyler.  But I realized with caller ID they'd find me.  I could do it from a
pay phone, but finally decided against it altogether.  Still, there was
something I needed to do.

Jess was living in a small, rundown apartment building that used to be a
motel.  I didn't need to be buzzed in, and I walked right up to her door on
the second floor and knocked.  I saw the curtains on the large window next
to the door move, and then the door flung open wide.  Jess stood there in a
pair of cut-off jean shorts and a Misfits T-shirt.  There was a huge smile
on her face.  I spoke before she could say anything.  "Jess, I can't do
this."

The smile dropped.  She swallowed hard and said, "Well come in.  At least we
can talk about --"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Jess couldn't have looked more dejected at that moment, or any moment for
that matter.  The hurt look on her face almost stopped me.  But then I
thought about Duscha.  "I read the note, and I'm not saying I don't feel it
too.  But I can't.  Not right now."

The skin on her face looked tight, like she was holding back showing her
emotions again.  Jess' voice cracked as she spoke.   "But why?"

"It's too soon.  After what happened with Monica...I just can't set myself up
for that kind of pain again."

"Well, couldn't we just hang out for now?  Like friends?"

I shook my head.  "We could never be just friends.  You know that."

Jess' face twisted and she turned away from me.  I almost lost it right
there, and I was either going to start crying or grab her and kiss her if I
didn't control myself.  But before I had a chance to do anything Jess looked
back at me and said, "Well maybe we shouldn't be together."  Her face took
on an angry look.  "I had something horrible happen to me too, but I got
through it.  I had strength and courage and pushed myself to trust again.
And I know that I don't have time for someone who's going to be weak.
Someone who's going to be afraid every time..."

Without finishing her sentence Jess slammed the door in my face.

By the time I got to my car I was crying.  So I popped a pill and started
driving to Renee's.  We had a party that night and I wanted to ask about
Duscha.  I wasn't sure how Renee would react, and I figured I owed it to her
to let her know what I'd heard.  The drug had kicked in by the time I was at
Renee's but I didn't feel any less sorrow about Jess.  I found Zhi in the
living room preparing for the evening by organizing sex toys.  "Where's
Renee?" I asked.

Without looking up from her work, Zhi said, "Not coming down until later.
She has a big surprise."

"What the fuck happened with Duscha?"

Zhi stopped and looked at me out of the corner of her eye.  "You heard?"

"It was on the news.  What happened?"

"Do not worry about it."

"But Tyler..."

"It has been taken care of.  Tell you about it later."  She picked up the
tray of toys and started carrying it out of the room.  Then she stopped and
turned.  "We have a party to put on."

An hour later the guests started arriving and Zhi and I were on a cushioned
table.  I was lying down with Zhi between my legs, eating me out.  A middle
aged blonde woman came up to me and started fondling my breasts, running her
hands slowly over them and teasing the undersides with her fingertips.
Looking at her hair reminded me of Jess.  I pushed the thought out of my
mind as she started rolling my nipples between her thumbs and forefingers.
Finally the blonde woman leaned down and started licking my left nipple.
Zhi was teasing me by licking and sucking my clit until I was on the edge,
then moving her tongue down to my hole and licking around it until she
decided to start on my clit again.  Redhead came up and started licking my
right nipple.  Butch Cut was standing behind her with a drink in her hand,
watching the proceedings.

I'd managed to get Jess off my mind for a while, but seeing the blonde woman
brought her up again.  I kept trying to tell myself that my feelings for her
were just a part of grieving over Monica, that you shouldn't fall in love
with someone that fast.  But I remembered how quickly I'd fallen for Monica,
and how it took a little time to convince her to give me a chance.  Had I
done something terribly stupid today?

I needed to cum badly.  When Zhi started sucking on my clit again I put my
hands on the heads of both women at my breasts.  They got the message and
switched to sucking on my nipples.  That drove me over the edge and I
started shaking as I came.  Zhi pulled her head up and the crowd applauded.
Redhead stuck her fingers between my legs, scooped up some of the juices and
offered it to her girlfriend.  Butch Cut sucked on the fingers.  Then she
pulled Redhead to her and they shared a quick but passionate kiss, after
which they looked longingly into each other's eyes.  Watching them reminded
me why I had to cut off Jess.  I loved her, I could admit that, and I didn't
want any kind of harm to come to her, especially because of me.  Honestly, I
didn't want anyone to come to harm because of me.

"Now that's how to start an evening!"

The words came from above.  Everyone's attention turned to the top of the
staircase, where Renee stood.

"What do you think of my new look?" she asked.

Renee wore a white satin robe that hung open; showing off her newly shaved
pussy.  Her hair had been straightened and was cut shoulder length.  But
that wasn't all that was different about it.  The crowd cheered and
applauded.

Renee smiled and said, "I've heard blondes have more fun."


The conclusion in Part 4 -- Somebody's Gonna Get Shot!

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