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Why was it that every time Piper opened her morning eyes she felt like shit? More than anything else she was so sick of feeling like that, all haggard and dreary. With a yawn and a blink she scrubbed the crust from her eyes and tried to lean up. She tried to -- but failed -- by virtue of something warm and secure... and tight. Piper's weary eyes rolled southward and found an arm curled protectively about her waist. Merry's arm. Then she felt a gentle bodily warmth at her back and a cool slumbering breath teasing her ear. Meredith's ample chest heaved in and out in rhythm with her slow intake of breath. Piper perceived their every rise and fall through the thin fabric of her tank top.

Between the slight gaps amid her window drapery shone beams of morning sunlight to fall across a body still trapped inside its pantsuit. Most of all they brought illumination to the many beauties of Meredith's face.

If it was light out then school was not too far away. Normally Piper would've made an allowance for that, but not on this occasion. Not this time. With a smile as subtle as sand Piper turned herself around underneath Meredith's arm so that they faced each other above the softness of her sheets. The feel of Meredith's slow exhalations caressing her lips made Piper's spine literally tingle. All of a sudden it didn't matter how crappy she felt. She bit her lip with nervous excitement watching her 'legal guardian' slumber so peacefully.

Meredith McCullough was beautiful.

There was just no other way to describe her. She was flawless in that everything about her matched everything else. The golden brown of her hair complimented the pastel cream of her skin. The pale chocolate texture of her lips made her smile all the brighter in the sun. Her eyelashes were naturally thick and lush -- she didn't need to primp or govern them -- making her eyes all the more intense when she stared at you. When Meredith did smile or speak her cheeks crinkled, but those lines suggested wisdom, not age. Piper didn't mind them at all. They enhanced the character of her person; the character that set Merry so far apart from all the dumb and brainless girls her own age who were too fucked up about themselves.

Piper almost died when Meredith moaned, oh so slightly, in her sleep.

In time she remembered how this must've happened. She was crying a little, Merry came up to see her, they ended up cuddling, and somehow they'd fallen asleep together. In all honestly Piper was grateful for it and not because she was anymore desperate for Meredith to acknowledge her -- but because she didn't feel up to being alone last night. As pretty a moment in time as this was, it did nothing to take away from the horrible images Piper recalled yesterday afternoon. Carving that memory of a teary-eyed Kristen from her mind would take years at best.

Piper's Meredith-induced smile mellowed something fierce at that thought. If she felt this bad being the dumper, how on Earth did Kristen feel right now, being the dumpee? Piper pictured a dour Kristen waking up in a puffy pink nightgown with a face sporting more tracks than a railway network. Her floor would be littered up in scrunched tear-soaked tissues and ripped photographs of she and Piper in happier times gone past. Amid all the nonsensically high-priced shit an heiress could accumulate there would be whispers and sobs. Kristen, with her drawn face buried deep in her palms, would call Piper's name in anger and seethe.

Just wondering all that made the teen anxious. She didn't want Kristen to hate her. She meant what she said yesterday, she would've liked for the two of them to still be friends. Somewhere in the back of her mind Piper still wanted to believe she had a shot at that goal, but after long reflection it seemed hopeless. Zack and Ashley weren't in the dark about it either. Considering the fact that they didn't share the same school or the same hangouts, there was a good chance that they'd never see Kristen again.

On the surface Piper wasn't sure how she felt about that. Of course she was relieved that that charade was over and that she wouldn't need to lie and fake feelings she didn't have anymore. Never again would she have to sleep with Kristen and picture Merry in her mind to get off. That being said...

...she wasn't sure if Kristen storming out her place in sobs was the last memory she wanted to have of her. Dumping her didn't feel anything like dumping the other girls Piper had had. This felt worse in so many more ways; primarily in that Kristen really thought the two of them might go the distance. She wondered if there was something she could do to make this all a little better. Maybe she could call Kristen and apologize. Maybe in doing that she could show the heiress that there needn't be any hard feelings between them, that they truly could be friends, and that all this guilt and anger and emotion simmering between the two of them would eventually pass.

"...Maybe I should clear the air," whispered Piper.

She hadn't meant to say it and when she did she wished she hadn't because it made Merry stir. Thick eyelashes fluttered gently at first, only to give way to the bright sparkle of grey-tinted eyes adjusting to the enfolding morning light. Those eyes immediately caught Piper's. Rich brown ones marvelled at grey while grey warmed affectionately to the sight of brown. They shared a secret smile. Then someone blew out the candle of their happy, private moment. Meredith's eyes narrowed. In her confusion she leaned up, abruptly, yanking her arm from Piper's waist.

"...What happened?" Yawned Meredith.

"We fell asleep."

"Asleep..." then a quiet kind of terror crept up in the form of a frown. "We didn't..."

Piper scowled at her. "No."

"...Okay. Okay." Then she glanced at her watch. "...Jesus! Piper, we've woken up late...! We both need to get ready for school, c'mon."

The reluctant teen watched Meredith climb off her bed and fiddle with her hair to make herself look more presentable. As if such a thing were possible. Even like that, with her pantsuit mangled, the back of her hair flattened by 'bed-head', and one of her pumps missing; somehow she still looked the picture of womanly maturity and grace. In Piper's eyes there was something about Meredith that set her apart from everyone else. It was impossible to define her as ordinary.

"Piper, did you hear me?" Chided the older woman. "You're going to be late for school."

School. Huh. Like she even wanted to bother with that today. Most days she didn't mind it at all. She was a decent student, college wasn't even a question, and she had two close friends, Zack and Ashley, to rely on whenever she needed an affectionate shoulder. Even though it helped not to have Kristen attending the same school (and thank God for that) it didn't change her apathy for the mundane prospect of note taking and teenybopper gossip. Compared to what she'd done to Kristen, all of that felt like so much horseshit, fit only to be scraped from her Doc Martens.

Piper drew her ankles up to her chin to wrap her arms around her shins. She said nothing but judging by Meredith`s expression, 'nothing' was everything. The McCullough matriarch reversed herself and sat. She took one of Piper's hands and held it between her own in her lap.

"I'm still not sure what got you so upset last night. Is there anything you want to tell me?"

She tried to reply but found her voice powerless -- Piper couldn't speak coherently when her little hand was enfolded by Meredith's larger pair. The softness of her skin made the teenager sigh. It was like having your hands baptised in balmy lace fabrics. Eventually she found her vocal chords anew. Eventually.

"...No. No Ma`am," breathed Piper. "I'm fine now."

Meredith remained unconvinced. "I don't buy that, Piper."

"It's not a big deal."

"You were crying."

For that Piper turned her gaze elsewhere.

"Is..." Merry paused for breath. "...is this about what happened between us?"

Why did everything have to come back to that? Out the corner of her eye Piper saw the wine glass, the one with the kiss-shaped smudge of Meredith's lipstick. Whenever she harkened back to that steamy night she tried to do so `apart' from Kristen. When Piper thought about the two in conjunction, about the chronology of things, the crushing reality behind what she did always loomed large. It had a fouler stench. But the truth was the truth -- she'd cheated on Kristen. It didn't matter what her feelings were, it didn't matter that she and Kristen weren't right for each other, it didn't matter that Merry was the only woman on Earth that made her happy; the truth was plainer than white bread. She'd cheated on someone. It was as scummy an act as it sounded and Piper couldn't bear thinking of her night with Meredith on those terms.

It occurred to Piper that maybe that was why she felt so damn guilty about Kristen. It wasn't just that they were wrong for each other. That was just a pretty vestige for the ugly reality beneath it. The barbarous truth was that she was in love with the woman holding her hand right now, the woman who was given release papers the day her Dad came back from Afghanistan.

She'd cheated on Kristen with that woman. And all she could think about was how the label `cheating' sullied up the beauty of her night.

...

"Christ, I could use a cigarette," thought Piper.

"Piper?" Merry inched closer to her. "Is this because of-"

"No. Okay? No. It's got... nothing to do with that. I just... I had a fight with Ashley. She said something that made me mad and I thought about it a while. That's all, okay? I'm fine now. Really."

That Meredith seemed to buy. Since when had Piper become such a talented liar?

"Oh. Okay. Piper, I just need you to know that no matter what happens I'm always ready to talk if you need to. Do you get that?"

"...Yeah."

"Good. So get ready for school, okay? I'll make you breakfast."

Rather than stay and fawn over Merry, Piper opted to do as she was told. She got out of bed and took a shower, did all the morning pruning necessary, got dressed, then came downstairs with her school bag ready for breakfast. It took Meredith a further sixteen minutes to meet her down there but quickly whipped up coffee, waffles, yogurt and orange slices when she did. Piper could've done it all herself but for some reason Meredith never let her make breakfast.

They ate together amidst rushed small talk. Meredith didn't have enough time to read her paper so she stuffed it inside her bag for later. It wasn't much different from any other day. When she was done Piper said her goodbyes and headed for school (whilst making stubs out of a few cigarettes along the way). Rather than meet Ashley alone for their traditional morning walk and pastry she went straight there. Neither of the two were around their usual hangouts so Piper went directly to class. It wasn't until lunch hour that she finally caught up with them.

It was one of those private spots close to the back of the school, a grassy tract delimiting the gyms and basketball courts. Ashley, grinning from ear to ear, gushed sweet giggles and flirtations into her cell phone. Zack lay beside her with his head in the grass and his eyes fixed on the blue sky above them all.

Piper said a mellow "Hey guys," as she sat down. Zack leaned up and greeted her right back while Ashley kept nattering away on her phone. Piper pointed at her. "Who's she talking to?"

"That guy she clocked the other day," He explained. "She hasn't stopped talking about him all morning. But whatever on that, you didn't call me or Ash last night. Did you do it?"

Piper nodded solemnly. "Yeah. I did it. I broke up with her."

"How was she? Did she take it hard?"

Weird. Only talking about this, even with Zack, was more difficult than she thought it would be. She couldn't find the words for him so she nodded instead. Then it soon seemed to occur to Zack that Piper wasn't at all herself today, even more caught up in her own head than usual, and curled an arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

Ashley saw this and ended her conversation quick as could be. "What's going on?"

"Piper dumped Kristen."

So one of Ashley's hands sought out the other shoulder. "Cutie. How're you holding up?"

"I feel like shit," said the dumper. "You guys should've seen the look on her face. If I'd known she'd be that hurt I wouldn't have let it drag on as long as it did. Now she hates me and I don't know how to make it right."

Ashley eased in. "Maybe that's because you can't."

"Huh?"

"You can't fix it, Piper. You just need to let her get on with her life."

"But I feel terrible about all this."

"Well how do you think she feels?" Ashley replied. "She's gonna be hurting right now and I don't think seeing you is gonna change anything."

Piper blinked. "I never said I was going to-"

"You didn't have to. It's what you're thinking, isn't it? The "I'll go over there and explain and hopefully she won't hate me?" spiel? Look, I don't know how it went between you two and I'm hoping you were as kind about it as you could be, but trust me -- nothing you can say will make this better for her. It might make it better for YOU but not for her."

But Piper felt unmoved by that. "I can't just leave it like this."

"Then give her some space first," suggested Zack. "Let it play itself out. Besides, I can't have you freaking out anymore. I found us another gig."

Things were so up-in-the-air and messed up right now that Piper had spared hardly a thought for McCullough and Pfannenstiel. They'd all expected a bit more publicity after the wedding gig. With hundreds of guests in attendance surely one or two would think well of them throughout the night and consider them for a performance. Now Zack had already lined up a fresh gig. If not for the Kristen/Meredith situation she would've been stirred by this news.

"I can't think about that right now," exclaimed Piper.

"It's next week and you two should be practicing if I confirm it. I don't think the guy is going to wait around too long."

Ash turned to him. "What day is it?"

"Friday."

From there on in the conversation degenerated into an argument between Zack and Ashley about whether or not to go through with it. It was Zack who made the point of saying that opportunities like these didn't come around very often. Ashley countered by suggesting Piper's mood might prevent her from giving her best performance. No resolution was struck by the end of their debate so by then the McCullough girl had tuned them both out. Nobody in the world could bicker like they could.

Classes came and went.

When the last bell hit Piper realized something. She didn't feel better. She'd been building up to dumping Kristen so long it felt like doing so would be this huge and liberating step forward. But now she got to thinking... what if it wasn't? All this guilt hitting her in the head and the stomach had yet to go away. If anything it was getting worse. After school, she tried going to the park to smoke a few to get it off her head. That didn't work. She tried playing some mini-basketball at the local arcade. That didn't work. She tried out her fake ID and scored a bottle of cider from a liquor store. A third of the way through that bottle it became equally that that wouldn't help either.

By the time Piper headed home it was already dark. The driveway was empty which meant that Merry wasn't home yet. Then Piper spotted something somewhat more unusual; a bountiful bouquet of yellow roses laid out across the welcome mat. Without thinking Piper curiously took them up, and found a scribbled note lodged in the stems.

It read;

Piper balked. "...Oh God..."

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