Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2001 23:59:52 -0700 From: J. Ocean Subject: My 17th Summer 40 Waking in the brisk morning air, I snuggled up against Madeleine and looked around. The sun was topping the trees, the fog burning off. The clearing was littered with the detritus of the previous night's frolic; the fire had turned to gray ashes, but coals still pulsed subtly underneath. Madeleine stirred a few minutes after I did. She pulled me to her, pressing our breasts together and wrapping one leg around me. She whispered in my ear: "Good morning, baby." We stayed curled up for awhile, then decided it was time to get moving. We threw off the blanket and made a dash for the Nest, where we found breakfast in full swing. Nia was cooking pancakes and home fries. Most of the other ladies were already up, sitting around drinking coffee, looking content but a bit worn out. We had had quite a night, and everyone was in full hangover mode. I myself was feeling the aftereffects of a long day's hike, numerous drinks, a big dose of mushrooms, and several hours of vigorous sex. I gratefully accepted a cup of coffee and tried to find the warmest possible place to park my naked body. Vidya, sitting across from me, smiled wearily. I wondered what I must look like; then I realized I didn't much care. I felt so comfortable with these women that I didn't mind them seeing me naked, dirty, my hair wild and untended, smelling like smoke. I located Tina, who looked much as I imagined I must -- like she'd spent a long weekend as the plaything of a shipful of sailors. Which she had, sort of, except that we were the sailors. After breakfast I had a long shower, which restored some of my faculties. Then it was time to pack. We had to get into the car and get back to the San Francisco airport in time for a 3:30 flight. All around the camp, people were cleaning up, getting ready to head home. A quietness pervaded the whole area, the bittersweet feeling that accompanies the end of a great time. After getting all of our stuff together, Madeleine, Tina, Hannah and I loaded up the car and said goodbye to the girls. I hugged each and every one, thinking how strange it was that I had become so fond of them in such a short time. Especially Vidya, who gave me her phone number and told me to make sure to look her up if I was ever in Seattle. I told her I would and folded myself into the back seat. Tina got in beside me, Hannah took the passenger seat, and Madeleine got behind the wheel. We rolled off down the dirt road, waving as we picked up speed. It was quiet in the car; after awhile I nodded off. Tina roused me when we got to the airport and, after a short delay, we were on our way back to Omaha. After landing we drove to Tina and Hannah's house, where we parked a little ways down the block and said goodbye. In retrospect, that moment seems like it must have been important, a turning point of some sort. At the time, all I could think about was how much I wanted a good long rest. By the time we got back to Madeleine's house, it was getting late. Fortunately, I'd told my parents I'd be back on Monday, and it was only Sunday. So I got to spend the night there, drifting in and out of consciousness, basking in Madeleine's presence. I felt closer to her, more devoted, than ever. * * * We spent all day Monday hiding out in Madeleine's house. In the morning she woke me up, rolled me over, and fucked me with a strap-on so ardently that I immediately went back to sleep. The rest of the day was full of new experiences. In the late morning Madeleine brought me breakfast in bed for the first time ever. I thrilled to the sensation of her warm tongue flicking into me as I poured hot coffee down my throat. In the afternoon she let me tie her up -- this was a novel and exciting turn of events for me. After binding her in the basement, I disappeared upstairs for an hour to let her stew in her own desire, as she had often done to me. When I returned I licked her slowly from head to toe, everywhere but in the critical areas. It was delicious to watch her strain against her bonds, desperate for me to satisfy her. Which, of course, I finally did, biting her nipples, caressing her with my hands, tonguing her cunt with a careful mix of finesse and aggression. After I untied her we made love for the duration the afternoon, moving through every room in the house, wallowing in the delights of our bodies. At last we ended up in her bedroom around sundown. I put my pussy on her face, riding her, feeling her amazing tongue drive up inside me. Then I fell down atop her into my favorite position, tasting her as she was tasting me. I had one of the most mammoth orgasms I'd ever had and felt Madeleine beneath me having one equally earthshaking. Then I rolled over, turned around, and clung to her quietly in the fading light of the dusk. At last, Madeleine spoke. "You'd better be going," she said. "I know." She was right; I was supposed to be having dinner with my parents, a tradition on the last night before the school year began. But nonetheless, I wrapped myself around her more tightly; I was quite willing to forget everything and everyone in the world outside. I felt her breathe deeply, exhale. "Morgan, listen..." I froze. There was something in her voice, something that gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach. "What?" There were a few seconds of loaded silence. "I think we both know this can't go on." My heartbeat, suddenly, became like thunder pounding in my ears. "What do you mean?" "What I mean is, you're seventeen years old. You're getting ready to start your senior year in high school. You have your whole life, and all kinds of adventures, ahead of you." A feeling of nausea assaulted me; I could barely speak, and when I did it was in a hoarse whisper. "Are you breaking up with me?" "I'm stating the obvious." Tears started to well up in my eyes. "But Madeleine...." "No, listen to me. I love you, and I love the time we've spent together. But we both know that, sooner or later, it has to come to an end. It's illegal, it's dangerous, and I don't think it's right for me to take up all your time this way. You should be out there having fun with people your own age." I turned away from her. "But that's not what I want." "I know you think so, but believe me, you'll regret it if you miss out on it. Think about it and you'll know I'm right." I said nothing for a minute, feeling dizzy and disoriented. "So that's it, then?" "That's the way it has to be, Morgan." I climbed out of bed and started groping around for my clothes, tears streaming down my cheeks now. I tried to be strong, not to let Madeleine see me go to pieces. Between the near-darkness and the tears it was hard to see, but I did eventually manage to find some clothes and get them on. Madeleine appeared beside me, dressed in a bathrobe, and put her arm around my shoulders. She steered me toward the front door, where I collapsed into her arms. We embraced for what seemed like an eternity. Or at least I wanted it to be; but then, I was overcome by a weird feeling. Something had changed inside me. Madeleine was right, I realized; this had to happen. Part of me was still sad, but another part of me understood that this was natural, inevitable. It was time to move on; who knew what the future would hold? I pulled away from Madeleine and just gazed at her for some time: those piercing gray eyes, that stunning raven hair, those elegant high cheekbones. Those lips that I knew so well. "I'll never forget you," I told her. That Mona Lisa-like smile, sweet and cruel, mysterious and enchanting, curled one corner of her mouth. "You'll always be special to me, Morgan." With that, I turned on my heels, pulled the door open, and walked out into the night and my future. Down the path I went, putting one foot in front of the other, standing tall and proud, and trying my damnedest not to look back.