Date: Mon, 12 Apr 2010 21:16:12 +0100 From: Wapichoo Subject: if only part 2 God I muttered as the alarm sounded how can it possibly be morning already? I slowly dragged myself out of bed noticing the sudden pain in my head, god I'm getting old I thought I can't even have a drink anymore. I jumped in the shower trying to wash the fog out my head and slowly as the water cascaded down me I remember last night, I remembered Jules, I remembered the conversation and I suddenly felt a knot twist in my stomach. I could picture her face her piecing blue eyes that almost look through you there so intense, her long blonde hair falling graciously around her face skimming her shoulders and cascading down her back. Her body was perfectly proportioned she had a figure to die for, womanly and curvaceous but toned and fit. I felt my arousal growing as my mind wandered. I stopped myself not today Lou, there's no time you're already running late I told myself. Grudgingly I dragged myself out the shower, got dressed and headed to work. I was dressed to kill today in a sharp black trouser suit, I knew I had a couple of important meetings where I had to make a good impression, I felt confident and I knew it but I just had to get my head on the job in hand and away from Jules. The day went by quickly, the meetings were a success and I won the right to the projects I had worked towards. "Let's grab a drink Lou" my colleague Ben stated after the last meeting "we need to celebrate your successes today. Plus a little birdie told me you got some action last night" he raised his eyebrows as he said this and I felt the panic rise up in my stomach. "I don't know what you're talking about" I said maybe too quickly "I didn't get with anyone last night" "Oh yeah. Let's save it for the pub" Ben giggled and then headed off to his desk to pick up his bag and coat. Just stay calm I told myself, know one was there so he can't know anything. Plus nothing happened! The pub was already busy when we got there at 5; we pushed our way to the bar and squeezed into a space so that the barman could see us. "What do you want; it's my turn to buy?" I asked Ben "oh just a pint of fosters for me please, thanks Lou" I smiled at the barman and he came straight over. "Hi, what can I get for you?" he asked obviously staring at my cleavage "a glass of red wine and a pint of fosters please" I responded a bit curtly. Ben giggled as he saw the barman's gaze. "Bloody pervert" I muttered under my breath. The woman next to me turned and smiled at me then she leaned forward until I could feel her breath against my cheek. My immediate reaction was to move away as her presence in my personal space was making me feel slightly uncomfortable even though it was for the briefest of moments. "I can't blame him to be fair darling" she whispered in my ear. I almost burst out laughing I didn't know how to respond. This wasn't a gay bar in fact we were no where near Soho, London gay district and it is very unlike London for strangers to openly hit on people especially if it was another woman. I don't look obviously gay in my opinion, I power dress but then I looked no different from any other women in a business suit. I have long brown hair which I style down and straight so it struck me as strange that this woman had tried her luck with me. Especially without it being a gay bar. Luckily before I could come up with some sort of response the bar man came back with my drinks "£8.20 love" he said again his eyes glancing down to my cleavage. I handed over £10 turned and handed Ben his drink and waited for my change. Hurry up I thought! The barman gave me my change I muttered a thanks and then turned to join Ben at the table, as I turned the women turned her head again and smiled. I smiled at her; my face obviously flushed and joined Ben. As I sat down Ben looked at me strangely. "Why are you all flushed?" he asked. Well that just made me blush more. "Don't tell me you're going all straight and you fancy the letchy barman now?" he laughed. I smiled at him "Ben... darling... you remind me everyday of why I don't find men attractive so trust me I will never be going straight" I grinned at him as he feigned mock horror at my comment. "Soooooo why are you all flushed???" I blushed again "oh its nothing just the women at the bar making a comment about my tits, I just didn't expect it in here, she surprised me that's all" I stammered trying to laugh it off and move the conversation on, Ben laughed "oh ok well she's still glancing over at you, she's very good looking you know, just your type, femme, curvy looks confident" "Ben will you stop looking for god sake, I'm not interested anyway. God you're so unsubtle!" "Ok ok calm down look I'm not looking now ok, anyway when did you turn into such a prude. The Lou I know would have abandoned me here and would be chatting away at the bar to a woman of that calibre." "I'm just not in the mood" I muttered. Ben looked at me without saying anything, I knew what he was doing and I picked up my wine and took a large mouthful "Oh my god!" he said quietly "Tell me your not... Oh my god you are... who is it... who is it... you have to tell me I haven't seen you this self pitying since Jen and we all know how that ended. Who is she?" "Ben please come on stop being stupid" I said slapping him playfully on the arm "this is all falling into place" he said his eyes lighting up "I knew that something went on last night apparently you and Jules went off for ages and everyone was saying how you'd been talking to someone earlier in the evening and you'd gone off to meet her and used Jules as a bit of a cover, you can't get out of this now Lou come on I want to know who was she? Does Jules know who she is?" I could feel my muscles clenching, ok Ben didn't think it was Jules but how the hell did I get out of this one. I wasn't ready to talk about what had happened last night and it wasn't fair on Jules for me to say anything, even if it was to Ben. "Ben, honestly you're making something out of nothing you big gay stop looking for gossip!" "hmmmmm I'll find out Lou you know I will. I can just ask Jules you know" at this I smiled "go and ask her, she wont tell you anything either as there's nothing to tell!" I knew this was a lie but there was no way that Jules was going to say anything that happened last night. Finally the conversation left me and my love life and carried on to the standard banter of politics, celebrities, work and the next night out that we were planning. As the night drew to a close we got up to leave, as we headed towards the door I felt a tug at my elbow, I turned ready to tell who every it was to get the hell off me and as I did I noticed who the hand belonged to. "hello again" the women from the bar said "hi" I stammered back "I know we haven't spoken tonight but you seem interesting, call me if you want a drink sometime" she said it in that same voice that made my body react the first time. I suddenly realised that I was just standing there looking at her with her hand on my arm, as I looked down I noticed she was handing me a business card. "Um..." I stammered "thank you" I took the card and left the pub sliding the card into my pocket. "Where the bloody hell did you go" Ben shouted "sorry dropped something I muttered as we walked to the tube station. Why is it you have no one and then two come at once, one of which you can't have and the other you don't know and to be frank I've never been one for cheesy chat up lines. I took out the card and read the name Sarah Jacobs. Well Sarah Jacobs I thought I'm not in the mood and with that threw the card back into the bottom of my bag. What's wrong with me I thought I can't get that girl out my head all I can think about is that sentence she said "Lou I want you to fuck me". My body was going into over drive; I need a cold shower I thought. I woke up to my blackberry ringing, I glanced at the clock 7:26 it read. Arghhh I thought "Hello" I said my voice sounding husky from sleep. "Hi, oh thank god, Lou can you do me a huge favour and go to my 10:00 meeting for me I've double booked, you'd be doing me such a favour, please?" "Hi Gerry I groaned, yeah that's fine I'll go but you owe me" "you're a star thanks a lot, bye" "bye". Great I thought. I lay back down and started to doze. "FUCK" I shouted out loud to no one as I live alone, "fuck fuck fuck" I just remember Gerry works with Jules, she'll be at the meeting today oh god I've not seen her why have I said yes why why why. I felt like crying as I got ready for work, I made sure I looked immaculate and then headed off. As I walked up the stairs to the office I was giving my self an internal pep talk. You did and said nothing wrong Lou; she did all the talking she doesn't know you like her it'll be ok don't worry. I took a deep breath as I pushed the office door open, I quickly scanned the room looking for her. I couldn't see her and suddenly I exhaled as I realised that I had been holding my breath all the way up the stairs. I walked to my desk and threw my coat and bag down turning around I walked to the coffee machine to get my morning caffeine fix. "Lou meeting" Barry, the office busy body, shouted as he bustled past and into the meeting room. "For god sake" I thought "here we go" I still hadn't seen Jules maybe she wasn't coming after all, usually she'd be plugged into to the network in the office before the meeting. I walked down the corridor and met VJ on the way she was another member of the development team "hey VJ how's tricks" I joked "always good always good" she laughed back as I swung the door of the meeting room over. As I turned laughing my eyes fell on hers and there she was, there was Jules looking straight at me the smile on her face fell momentarily but she regained it quickly. I swallowed hard and sat down opposite her in the last available chair. "God help me" I thought as the meeting started.