Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:26:28 -0500 From: Jennifer L Subject: Insight of heart part 2 chapters 4-7 Disclaimer: If you are not 18 or should not be reading this for any reason, don't. Otherwise, enjoy! Feedback is apreciated. Send comments to: lawson10@cox.net. Please do not redistribute this story or post on any other site without my permission. Well Char did you strike gold in the bed like me? Is that why you're being so quiet? This made Charlotte feel her cheeks blush hot red. If only you knew she grumbled under her breath. If only we knew what sweety, crooned Theresa in a toan as though she knew something was up? Yea what was really going on last night, Bill bellowed loudly then putting in a belly laugh. Everyone in the room got quiet. Charlotte made some joke about her hair being a mess from the hair stylist so she didn't want them to notice her hair style and laugh at her. They all said baloney at once and she insisted she wasn't gunna let up her secret so they all cooed ooo it's a man. Yea, said Charlotte it's a big hot sighted male ape. OOO, so you're leaving us blindies behind teased Bill? I don't know; knock it off, Bill, I think I'm turning. Stacey snickered, What do you mean you're turning? You're turning into a beet right now. What little I can see of you is red. She's hiding something, sneared Bill. Oh really, said Theresa sarcastically that's why she didn't want to hang out with us last night. What are you turning, crooned Theresa? You gotta new love you don't wanta talk about? I talk about my love. You can talk about yours. Why hide from me? I'm your best friend. She doesn't have to tell you anything cried Stacey defensively to Theresa! I don't think this is going anywhere, said Charlotte calmly keeping her cool. I'm going to leave. I know where you were anyway, said Bill accusingly, as Charlotte was getting up. What is this the fucken inquisition, snapped Stacey? This girl can go where the hell she wants! Charlotte sat down briskly, where was I then, Bill she questioned in a frosty tone. Now feeling hot. She rarely got angry and usually kept her cool unlike her friend Stacey who had a hot temper and a lot of anger. The taxi driver who picked you up picked me up also and told me you were at Kats for Lady's night he picked up a blind lady with your description and I know you didn't want to go with us so it must have been you am I right? Yes Bill I am curious about finding a lady to date and I do have an interest of a romantic nature in a lady. In fact I may fall in love with her. For now, I'm interested in her romantically. You lesbo that is gross get out of my house, Bill said in a low icy tone! Who the hell are you bigot she can date who she wants that is her business, Stacey screams at the top of her lungs! Shut up Stacey, you leave too since you can't keep your voice down, Bill yells at her. You are no longer welcomed here Theresa says to Charlotte in her icy holier-than-thou tone of voice. Fine I have friends who love me and accept me for who I am who are not blind She leaves the house walking briskly with her head high and chin stuck out crying swinging her cane very fast and swift. She walks home and can here Stacey tripping and running behind her calling, "Char, wait"!, breathing heavy. When Char as able to stop and breathe at her apartment building door she herd Stacey approaching. Take my hand, Stace!" she called. Stacey was crying from being angry and frustrated and falling and skinning her knees so many times. Stace why are you crying? I was trying to catch up with you and I was running and I kept falling." she said crying and sobbing between breaths. Ok can you take a deep breath? Yes she tries to breathe. They are such bigots I don't know why we're friends with those idiots. Everyone left after they were saying you're a lesbo and a dyke. I don't care Stace I love who I love and I'm not interested in men any more they stopped interesting me a while a go. When? What happened? First, when are you going to get a cane so you'll quit hurting yourself when you walk? I don't know I'm just tired of being different and I don't want you to be different and people to hurt you. I think we need to talk. Charlotte took her friend's hand and led her to her apartment. That night Charlotte explained how she was beginning to feel ok being different with her identity as a lesbian and how she would grow into that more and more and how she met Yvonne last night and was growing to like her. How long have you been curious a tearful Stacey asked? For a long time, maybe since college, but I've only wanted to act on my curiosity in the last week or so, cause I couldn't work up the courage. I love you cause you're so courageous you handled Bill and Theresa better than I did. You are courageous too you just need some help dealing with your anger. Yeah, that's what people tell me and I think I need help with that. Are you curious about women Stacey? No but I like people who are and want to be friends with people who are gay are bi sexual. That's good. It shows you have an open-mind. They talked some more that night and Stacey slept over and Charlotte knew one of her straight friends was on her side. That night as she lay in bed and her friend lay on her sofa in her living room she could not stop thinking of Yvonne. The day they had shared had been magical although it had been ruined by the confrontation at Theresa's. She had also forgotten to call her later because she was talking to Stacey who needed her own brand of help. She hoped to call her in the morning. She lay there imagining Yvonne kissing her and touching her. She felt her nipple and her breasts as she did when she would think of men sucking her but she wanted and ached for Yvonne's electric and intoxicating touch on her breasts this time. She felt her bud between her legs start to harden and ache so she began to play with it imagining Yvonne's lips around that spot. As she pictured this she began to orgasm and she felt more pure and sweet an orgasm than she ever had thinking of a man kumming inside her. Her kumming made her so relaxed she drifted into a deep sleep. The next morning she awoke and imagined her lover was still in her bed lying next to her and Charlotte ached for the day to hold her and felt an emptiness that the day had not come yet. She showered and dressed and when she was ready Stacey was up and ready. They ate a light breakfast and Greg, Stacey's boyfriend, who was sighted called and said he was coming to pick her up to go to a game that morning and then to hang out. Charlotte asked Stacey about her sex life. Oh its very active we have sex a couple of times a week and explore a lot of things I just wish we communicated more. Yeah, there is always something to work on hum? Right. I thought about it last night and I think I'm gunna get counseling. I support you in that, Stace. What did you think about last night? Having sex with my new girl. Wow you didn't do it yet? No I'm working on building a friendship with her first or at least getting to know her. I wish Greg and I did that first instead of going to fourth base first. It makes it harder. There is always time for you and Yvonne to have sex. When can I meet her by the way? Maybe this weekend some time I'll call you. Ok I'll call you when Greg and I get done with whatever. Greg got there and they all sat on Charlotte's couch talking for a half hour then he took Stacey to a game. In that time she told him what happened at Theresa's and he wrote them off as bigots and asswholes and said he wouldn't talk to them anymore and held Stacey tight and kissed her mouth for being so brave. Charlotte thought they were a great match, both aggressive and needing anger management and laughed to herself. Then they left and she jumped to the phone and dialed Yvonne's number feeling grateful she finally had a chance to call her and here her voice, but when all she got was the answering machine she wanted to cry with disappointment. She left a message that the talk didn't go well but she slept well and hoped she was doing ok and that she had a busy night talking with a straight friend. Later as Charlotte was pouting and feeling lonely on her couch because Yvonne hadn't called her back she heard the phone ring and wondered who it could be. Hello she answered, hey Babe she heard Ellen and smiled a big smile. Ellen its good to hear a lesbian she laughed. Oh you goofball its good to hear your voice too. Are you doing ok? Naah just feeling sorry for myself and feeling down. How bout I pick you up and fix that problem. Ellen sighed. I need to talk to you anyway. Something has happened with our friends and Yvonne wants me to give you a message so is that ok? Yeah! Ok give me directions to your place. Twenty minutes later Ellen was over there to pick her up as she was waiting outside her building. Howdy gorgeous you're fitting in with the rest of us now with those clothes. Charlotte blushed crimson. No need to blush we're just friends now and now I know you like my x. is that ok charlotte asked demeurly lowering her head? Ellen pulled up her chin and put Charlotte's cheek on hers of course can we kiss on it. Just a peck Charlotte requested. Ok Ellen agreed and they pecked on the lips and Charlotte pulled back. So how'd last night go Ellen asked concerned? Vonne told me you were going see your old friends or your straight friends. Charlotte told her about the night. Those asses Ellen grumbled who needs them and she stepped on her pedal a bit faster to rev up her engine in her truck. I don't want to see them any more said Charlotte resolutely. No good riddance to them sneered Ellen. So what's up with Yvonne? Ellen sighed deeply, here goes, Sandy and Angie have both been gone since Friday morning. Both just disappeared. Yvonne hasn't heard from Sandy or seen her since she and Angie had that talk in the kitchen when we were all over there Friday morning and she's been looking for her and now she went this morning to the police station to report her missing cause she didn't see Sandy's car at work and can't contact her on her cell. What! Yes more fucking drama. Just what we need! What do you mean? I mean all this breaking up and getting together. Then, Angie was nervous about talking to Sandy. Now their both gone. Angie is out of touch also. We can't contact her. I've been trying to get a hold of her. I was with Heather all last night and poor Yvonne was either by herself, at her apartment or on the road trying to find Sandy. We were in all directions. This is terrible I should have called her. Well I understand you had your own stuff going on. Yeah, but I still could have called to check on her. Well, bottom line is finding where Angie and Sandy are and seeing what happened with that conversation; what transpired in the kitchen and all and if they're ok. That's what I'm worried about. Where is Yvonne now? She's on the road calling people and sending out flyers and doing her own investigation and talking to anyone who may have seen Angie or Sandy. She may be all over but we're supposed to all meet at her apartment tonight. Good I want to see her. She told me to tell you she is sorry about things not going well last night and she wishes she could have gone with you and told those people off. That's sweet of her. You handled them by yourself didn't you? Yeah. "Can I give you some advice?" "Sure any little helps." Having a relationship is letting your girl stand by you and letting her support you. You're not alone any more, Char. You don't have to be if you don't want to be. I was like you for a long time and still can be little miss tough and independent but you gotta let someone love you too. How do I do that? I'm willing but how? Be willing to allow her to be there when times are tough stuff like that. Be there for her too. Talk to her and build trust and be open to communicate. Gosh and I thought you were a big party girl. You're deep. Well Ellen said putting a big hand on her thigh you can't judge a book by its cover. Besides, I think I've learned from my mistakes and don't wanta see you go through repeat them if you can help it. I see myself in you, Char. They drove on in silence listening to Ellen's truck radio for a while. Do you have any idea what happened with Sandra and Angie Charlotte asked a while later? I don't know but I hope it didn't turn out bad. Being that we haven't heard from either of them and it isn't like either to disappear. I'm concerned that's why Yvonne is searching. I hope one of them turns up real soon or I'm going to get scared. I'm going to do something like either go out looking myself or fight till I find those two. Don't cause any trouble Ellen Charlotte warned! "I see myself in you too and would probably react like you." I won't! I just can't sit. I have to do something when I get scared. When I do, look out! I come fighting like a bull. I can see it. I'd do the same thing. Where do you wanta go next girly? I'm running out of gas and talk. I need a beer. Can I go check some of my messages at my apartment? I'm thinking some of my friends may call to go out to Kats for the usual Saturday night dancing and drinks. Sure, let me turn this baby around. We're not too far. I'll have to fill up on the way to Yvonne's whenever she gets herself into town from her investigation. You dance she asked in a shocked tone a minute later? Sure. I didn't see you out there Thursday night. I wanted to get to know the girls at the table and was a bit shy. Besides how were you paying attention being a bit drunk and all. I wasn't that drunk she argued a bit defensive. Ok, maybe I went a bit far, but I was nervous about Heather. I have more nerve than Angie though. Oh don't be hard on her I understand her shyness. Yea your more sympathetic than an old butch like me. They got to Charlotte's apartment five minutes later. Charlotte got inside and showed Ellen the apartment. Very nice Char who helped you decorate? I picked out what I wanted and my Mom and friends helped me shop and put up things. My x boyfriend help me with some of my crafts and building shelves and hanging mirrors and pictures. Neato. Do Lesbians decorate different? Not much most do their own thing. Yvonne and Sandy's place is nice and feminine like yours and mine is more masculine looking since I tend to like that stuff better. I'll have to take you by and describe things to you. Sure I'd like to feel around and explore things if that's ok with you. Yeah, however you work that. Do you want a beer? I have one. Oh yeah. They sat in Charlotte's living room Ellen with her beer and Charlotte with a coke. I don't get started till later. I just don't like to. No prob I just enjoy my liquor but start in the afternoon some time. Well, I need to check my messages can you excuse me a sec? Sure go ahead. Help yourself to the TV I have some books I leave on the table for people who visit. You're a good hostess! Thanks! Charlotte went to check messages and found about fifteen. The first five were invites for the night from her regular friends and x boyfriend who still liked to hang out with her on weekends without benefits. None of them knew bout her female curiosity so she thought she would inform them and maybe now the time was right. The next ten were from her blind so called friends from the organization who had heard from Theresa about her disclosure. She was upset to hear each message was one of hostility and bigotry. Who needs them, she muttered they just don't understand! Tears began to run down her face as she felt discouraged. Char you ok, Ellen called from the living room? Charlotte was standing in her bedroom holding her telephone receiver crying. She decided then and there she would spend less time with the organization and be a part of the business end and not involve herself with the social aspect if that was how people were going to act. Who needed these friends! I'll be there in a sec she said in a low tearful voice. You're not ok Ellen said matter of factly come sit. Charlotte stood and wondered for a second if this was all worth her reputation to risk what a bunch of people thought to love a woman. She thought of her feelings for Yvonne and how magical her day had been with this beautiful girl and how she was growing to like this new group of women who'd accepted her and been willing to teach her about how they related to one another. They were no different from her straight friends she thought they just wanted friendships and romantic relationships with one another just like she had thought she wanted with men and her straight friends wanted with each other. Her phone rang just then. Hold on El I'll be there in a sec! No problem sweetie take your time I'm enjoying my beer. Just then Ellen got a call on her cell. Charlotte wondered who that could be with concern as she remembered their earlier conversations and was picking up her receiver. Hello, one of her friends who had left a message spoke Hey Charlotte its Katie are you coming to Kats with Joe and I. She was now dating her x Joe which Charlotte was happy about because he seemed happy with her and they were more of a fit. No Kate I can't. Ok girl I'm worried what's up you sound sad and you canceled Thursday is it that time of the month? No, I'm making some changes in my life and I've made a decision and I wanted Thursday to myself to explore. Ok spit it out you're talking in riddles are you going to tell the truth cause we want you to come to Kats. I want to I'm just afraid you'll stop being my friend and I would prefer you not tell Joe unless I tell him. Girl we talk a lot and I tell you all about Joe and you told me how that relationship didn't workout. I don't think you could shock me honestly Char no matter what you tell me because you just weren't interested in Joe. How did you know? I could tell he wasn't enough and not making you happy. You need to find where you're happy and stop doing things because everyone tells you to do them. I hear you on that one! That's what I've been thinking. So what is it you're looking for a new job: a new spiritual oasis? Charlotte laughed, a girlfriend she blurted. Are you kidding. Charlotte thought Katie was about to condemn her like her other friends and almost hung up. I think that's what you have been looking for I see that in you Char go for it. So you were at Kats for ladies night weren't you! Charlotte could hear a smile in her cheerful friends voice. Yes and please don't breathe a word to Joe. I won't now look if you need space I'm great with that but I wanta meet your lady or friends and well who did you meet? Charlotte told her about Kats and her friends and Yvonne. Katie sounded happy for her. She could hear Ellen's cell ring a few more times while she was having this conversation with Katie. Katie was upset that her other friends were so unsupportive and encouraged her to stay the hell away from them. After hanging up with Katie she called her other friends and left messages on their machines that she wouldn't be going out to Kats tonight and she'd take a rain check. Then she called Joe and set up a meeting to hang out with him tomorrow. Boy work was going to be hard on Monday she thought. When she walked back into the living room Ellen was still on her cell speaking in a serious tone. Yeah, I see, the car by itself, hidden. She sounded concerned and was speaking in her low gruff tone. Charlotte twisted her hands. Char its Yvonne she whispered nervously. Yeah, we're at her apartment she barked gruffly into the phone. Charlotte's heart and stomach melted knowing her girl was on the other end of that cell phone and she wanted to hear her voice and speak to her. I don't believe this and no sign of Angie right? You wanta meet and talk later? When will you be home? Ok we'll be there in a half hour. Half hour, Charlotte was nervous and didn't know if she could even wait that long to see her. Can I talk to her she whispered. Hold on, "Ellen said she wants to talk to you. Ellen gave her the cell. Put this part on your ear she said putting her hand on the ear piece. Hey Charlotte said in a shy voice. Hey sweetie Yvonne sounded tired and nervous. How are you Charlotte asked remembering the situation she was in? Not good! We found Sandy's car. no body. haven't heard from her and I'm scared and crying. I wish you were with me. Charlotte choked I wish that too she said feeling nervous as the words came out. Well I'll be at my apartment later and we can talk. I'm sorry your friends were so rotten and you had a bad night. Was your day any better? So so, I had a bit of both and I'm stressed. Baby me too I wish I had been with you last night and today I'm so worried about Sandy. I'm worried about you too Char this has to be hard your friends not supporting you and you trying to figure out if you wanta date women. To hell with what they think! I know what I want! I wish I had been with you you need me more than I need those people and their opinions. You're strong, she sighed! Listen I'll be there soon. You love birds quit burning up my minutes growled Ellen teasingly. Tell her to shut up there all free anyway, Yvonne grumbled. I'll talk to you later Char. Ok Talk to you later. She felt so shy and awkward now talking to her which she didn't the other night when they first met. Maybe she really was having feelings that were growing for this woman. She gave the phone to Ellen and they spoke a bit more about meeting at the apartment and finding Sandra and Angie. They chatted and watched some TV until it was time to go. As they were going to the apartment Charlotte got serious and told Ellen about the phone calls and her friends who'd taunted her and the call with Katie where she found acceptance. Ellen assured her that she'd get a bit of both when she came out so to put it. Charlotte liked Ellen's blunt way of putting things. She sure didn't need a lesbian feeling sorry for her as she was exploring this side of her. Ellen I wanted to ask: I'm starting to think I don't care what people think and I feel more and more nervous when I talk to Yvonne and I want to talk to her more and I miss her since yesterday and I feel nervous about going see her. I enjoy being with her and I want to experience loving her in a romantic way and I was exploring my body thinking of her last night. You're wondering what the hell is going on with you right? Yes she cried! Congratulations! You're a dyke. Charlotte blushed. I think my old girl has charmed you. She's a keeper Char you better treat her good and let her love you too. Does she love me? I know she does. Take it from one whose been in a relationship with her. What ever insecurity you have let it go she cares and she loves you if you hang on to worrying about that all the time your love won't last. I think I could love her. She cares about you but she will take it slow cause she doesn't want to hurt you and you're a late bloomer. Thanks for the reminder. Hey don't hang on to those insecurities. Thanks. You're very strong Charlotte and you'll make a good girlfriend forher. Just enjoy whatever is blossoming between you two and let this happen the way it is going to happen and don't be afraid to take risks. As she was saying this they were pulling up to the apartment. When they got to the door Charlotte was feeling nervous about seeing her new girlfriend. Chapter Five Yvonne opened the door for them and let both of them in. At first, Charlotte didn't know what to say until Yvonne took her in her arms and hugged her close. Its so good to see you after a day like this she whispered in her ear as Charlotte was hugging her back tightly and Yvonne melted into her. It's good to see you Yvonne. I've missed you today she whispered back. They broke away and Yvonne hugged Ellen. Are you ok Babe Ellen asked as she let her friend go? Yeah, just concerned. Lets sit I'll make you and Char some drinks I think we could all use one by now. I agree the other two chimed in. Ellen and Charlotte sat on the love seat as Yvonne prepared three mixed drinks at she and Sandy's mini bar and told them again how Sandy's car was found on the side of the road she usually takes to work but no body was found and how she didn't show up to work on Friday and neither she nor her co-workers had heard from her. They discussed how they hadn't heard from either Sandy or Angie since they'd gone to talk in the kitchen. Yvonne went to settle in an arm chair looking tired and defeated. You can't worry yourself to death Vonne, let the police take care of it and lets leave messages and let the girls know we are worried and have them call. I don't think we can do much unless we know exactly where they are, said Ellen. I mean you have to rest. I'm just worried what could have happened to sandy and where is Angie I went by her house and her truck isn't there and she isn't working this weekend and she didn't show up atwork yesterday either. Could Sandy have just left her car and gone off with Angie, asked Charlotte then she wanted to take back her question after thinking about it. No Yvonne said slowly because the car was hidden and it looks like someone deliberately tried to hide the car but didn't do a good job and like she was taken by force although there is no evidence of struggle or that Sandy was hurt. If she had left with Angie she would have called me or someone else also its not like her to just leave and not call. Its also not like Angie to disappear put in Ellen concerned. Yvonne sighed. This is fishy. Just then Ellen's cell phone rang and she answered it. It was Heather calling to say she was off of work. She had been working serving drinks at Kats that night and it was closing time and she wanted to see her girl. Ellen left for the night to pick up heather and spend the rest of the night with her. Charlotte was now alone with Yvonne and she was nervous and glad. They sat together on the love seat drinking coffee and talking about Charlotte's day and Yvonne's day. They were both concerned about Sandy and would do what they could to find her after they rested. Charlotte told her about the phone messages she received that afternoon and about her call to her friend Katie. I'm also going to meet with my x boyfriend, Joe tomorrow and tell him about my interest in women and about you. I'm happy for you. I hope he doesn't act like some of those other people. I think they have a lot of growing to do and they're not where you are. No and there not the friends I guess I want. Well I hope we are. We're a crazy bunch, but I hope we'll do. I'm not complaining. Thanks for being here for me Char. Thanks for being here for me. Would you like to sleep here on the sofa I'm too tired to drive?, she asked, yawning. That's fine! It was two that morning as Charlotte fell asleep dreaming of her friend as she slept on Yvonne's living room couch while she slumbered exhausted in her own bedroom. Charlotte woke up at eight the next morning feeling nervous and anxious and charged with energy. She wanted to start her day and wished it would start now. She wondered what else would blossom between her and Yvonne in their new relationship. She wondered if they would find Angie and Sandy and what was going on with their situation. She wanted to see her new friends get together but she didn't know when that would happen. She thought about Yvonne and her friendship and where that was going and whished it was going faster than it was but they'd only met a few days ago and so far there friendship was building nicely and slowly and if that's what it had to be for now then she would have to be content with that she decided. At about 9 o'clock Yvonne emerged from her bedroom and noticed she was awake. She offered to make her breakfast which they had together having more conversation about life there work and livelihood. Did you sleep ok over here? Our couch has been a bed for many people. Oh yeah, I was awake at 8 o'clock. What time do you meet with your x? About 1 this afternoon. Is that all you're doing today she asked I wanta spend time with you today if you have time. Yeah, pretty much. I wanta spend time with you too. I'm glad. I'm a little nervous. I don't know why. Nervous! Honey there is nothing to be afraid of with me. She came over and put an arm around Charlotte and took one of her hands in hers. I like you and I've never liked a woman like this or expressed it with one before. I know that's why I wanta take it slow with you. I understand you're nervous. But, Charlotte stammered what about Sandy? Look, honey! She took Charlotte's face in her hands and pulled her mouth to hers. I'm concerned about Sandy but I also want to nurture this relationship. I'm not gunna neglect you. She kissed Charlotte lightly with her lips. Charlotte's eyes filled with tears. She'd never felt this loved not even with her best male lover. Your tears are beautiful sweetie! Yvonne caressed the side of her face and kissed her lightly again. This time Charlotte was able to kiss her back with the passion inside her. They began to kiss lips joining tongues entwining. They were like that for a few minutes until the apartment door bell rang. Yvonne rubbed Charlotte's shoulder and Charlotte's back. Awe, who's ruining this perfect moment! Yvonne grumbled as they broke their embrace. Yvonne took Charlotte's hand and led her to the front door. Who is it? she called. Me! she heard a crackling deep voice which sounded like Angela's. Oh my god Yvonne exclaimed, shocked. She opened it to find Angie standing there in the same clothes she was wearing when she left the apartment Friday morning, but she looked disheveled and upset and smelled like smoke. Angela, what on earth!, Yvonne cried get in here! she pulled Angie and flung her onto the couch. I'm sorry--I didn't mean to worry you---I just!, she stammered. Its ok Angie! We've just been worried., Charlotte stated in a calm tone. Angie sat there with her head in her hands. I'm so tired!, she muttered. Yvonne was speechless and when she got her voice she was almost upset. Where have you been? Are you ok? Do you know where Sandy is? We've been worried about you? Charlotte put her hand on her girlfriend's arm: can we get her a cup of coffee first and let her rest! Ok, I guess I need to calm down a little. We've been worried,that's all. Angie, if you need a bath or something to eat or drink make yourself at home! I have extra towels, but when your done, I need to talk to you, ok! Ok!, she said in a shaky voice. Angela was tired from her disappearance and did need food and rest. While she spent the day at Yvonne's Yvonne said nothing to her about Sandy's disappearance but gave her free reign of the apartment. Yvonne dropped Charlotte off at her apartment around noon so she could meet with Joe and take care of some personal things. Charlotte cleaned her apartment and when it was a bit after one o:clock she heard her door bell ring. I'm coming she ran to answer the door finishing the last of her cleaning. Its me babe she heard her x boyfriend Joe's voice outside. Hi Joe she answered breathless from running around cleaning as she opened to let him in. Hi he sauntered in taking his usual seat on the chair by her TV. Can I get you some beer or coke she offered? Yeah, I'll take a beer. We missed you at Kats last night girl. Katie wouldn't let up on why you didn't come. Oh I'll get to that in a moment. Let me get a coke. Yeah, she said you had a good talk with her on the phone yesterday you always hit it off I'm glad you two do. Oh yeah, she said coming to flop on her couch. She sighed, Joe I have some things to explain to you and that's why I wanted to meet with you and I asked Katie to let me talk to you. Oh he said becoming serious. Babe are you ok I mean you're not sick or anything or depressed? No honey its not like that I wanted to tell you myself and I didn't want you to hear from someone else what I'm exploring about myself. Ok he said confused and then got quiet. She sighed again, I just need to come out with this. Babe if you're pregnant its ok!, he assured. No, Joe, very different, she said matter of factly. Ok I'll shut up and let you talk. I'm dating a woman! What! he exclaimed standing up, a shocked expression on his face. When did you decide this? I decided to go to Kats Thursday night by myself and find out for myself if this is for me. I've been curious for a long time and interested in dating women. So what! You were interested in dating women when you were dating me? He sounded confused, hurt and almost disgusted. Joe, shesighed nervously. I cared about you and still care about you I just wanted to search a new direction and we weren't working out together. So this is what I'm worth, that you're replacing me with a woman? No Joe, we broke up all ready and I thought we are friends and I'm telling you what's going on with me before you here it from other people in our group of friends and react the same way or even worse! Well, this is really selfish of you, he whined. Why would you replace me with a woman? Am I not man enough? Yes, Joe, you're a man! she sighed exasperated. But, I'm interested in women and I want to date a woman and I don't need anyone's permission. We are no longer dating or committed. Damn right we're not! he snapped We're not even friends! With that, he went in the kitchen, poured out his beer, threw his can away, stormed out the apartment and drove off down the street in his truck possibly to find comfort in his girl's arms. Charlotte sighed again. This time she was emotionally exhausted. She slumped into the sofa. She buried her face into the pillow and dosed off for a while. She was later startled out of her slumber by the phone ringing. She jumped up and ran to her bed room where she picked up the receiver. Hello! she groggily answered. Hey sweetie, sorry to wake you. Hey Yvonne, what time is it? she asked, rubbing her eyes. 3 o'clock, sleepy head. Didn't sleep enough last night? No and Joe wore me out. How did that go? Oh, shitty! He stormed out of here calling me selfish and saying I replaced him with a woman but I held my own. Good for you! I'm sorry he was that way. Are you ok? Yeah, just tired and sick of people not understanding, but I don't care what they think anymore; I know what I feel and think inside more and more. Well he may come around too; it takes some people time to get used to us making a change and even if he doesn't at least you're going with your heart. Listen, I'm still on the road and Angie just called me and said she is ready to talk so I'm on my way home. Are you ready for me to come get you? Yes, sure! Good, I'll be there in ten minutes. Be outside your building! Ok! An hour later Yvonne Charlotte Ellen Angie and Heather were in Yvonne's living room settled down on chairs and sofas quietly drinking coffee. Yvonne began All right girls the reason I'm calling us together is serious. We have some thinking and planning and acting to attend to. Let me start by saying that I've known Heather and Angie as acquaintances and buddies for a few years but Sandy and Ellen have been my best friends all through college. Ellen was my lover for the past five years and still remains one of my close friends. So what I'm saying is we're all pretty good friends and recently Charlotte has begun spending time with us and I'm getting to know her and I care about her and want to know her as a friend and possibly a lover and she and I are exploring that. Charlotte was feeling warm hearing her friend express her feelings so openly with her friends. Now the reason I'm saying all this is to be open to discussion and to let you all know some events are happening that concern me and concern my friends. Angie looked puzzled and worried and the others looked scared and Charlotte got fidgety. Ok let me get to the point because I'm confusing Angie. She sighed, Angie, Sandy's been missing since Friday morning. She didn't show up for work, none of us have seen her since you and her had that talk in my kitchen. Angie put her face in her hands. Ellen moved closer to sit by her. Its ok Angie its ok she soothed taking one of her big hands in one of hers to calm her. Yvonne's tone grew calmer. I'm not accusing, Angie I know I don't know you well, but these are the facts we're concerned about her and I was concerned about you because you disappeared. Her car was found hidden and her body was gone. There's no trace of Sandy. Oh my god Angie said in a low fearful tone if anything happened to that girl its my fault its my fault she muttered. What do you mean, Ellen said in a low tone sounding calm and cool but kind. We're here for you Heather coaxed. Are the police in on this, Angie mumbled loud enough to be heard in her hands? Yes, Yvonne said matter of factly. Angie cried in her hands her face buried. What happened between you two that night Charlotte asked quietly and concerned? Please tell we'll only listen she pleaded. If anything happened to that sweet girl I'll never forgive myself, Angie cried. Yvonne sighed, That won't help us right now, Angie! You have to tell us anything you know so we can either find her or help her or you! Ok, can you please start talking cause I and the others are worried and concerned! Ellen rubbed her back and shoulders and put an arm around her. Angie its going to be ok big girl just cry if you need and when your done we're ready to listen. What happened when you and Sandy went to talk in the kitchen the other morning. Angie cried for a few minutes and took her face out of her hands. Ok, she started, I went to tell her I love her and want to date her but I thought she wouldn't have me cause of my skin color and cause of my weight and my self-esteem and stuff people says about me so we went to talk and we just talk about ourselves and I can't say how I feel the whole time she is so sweet and concerned like she always is and I feel like she loves me as a friend but would never date me then in the morning my poor self image gets the better of me and I just run off in my truck and drive on and on for days thinking how I'll never have this sweet gentle lady's love. Awe Angie, Heather cries! That's not true! She can love you! You have to give her a chance! Now its too late! She's gone and I don't know who has her. Do you have any idea who it could be., Yvonne asked seriously growing impatient. Charlotte was growing sorry for Angie and also feeling Yvonne's impatience and wanted to cry also. Angie its not your fault she's gone but we're thinking maybe you can help or shed some light on her disappearance, Ellen put in. Did you see her at all this weekend or did you just go separate ways after you drove off in your truck?, Charlotte asked? We went separate ways., she answered I just couldn't look at her I was so afraid of her rejecting me and not loving me and I never saw her. Oh god, I hope no one has her and hurts her! she cried again. Ok, this crying is not helping us!, Yvonne snapped. What do you want her to do?, Ellen wined. I don't know, but I'm doing something., Yvonne got up and left. Where is she going?, Charlotte asked. I don't know., Ellen answered she got in her car and went somewhere, probably to find out some more about Sandy. Ellen decided to take Angie for a ride in her truck to talk and to help her to calm her nerves. Heather and Charlotte didn't know each other too well so they got acquainted and Heather offered to drop her off at her apartment on her way home. That night Charlotte slept well as her weekend was stressful. None of her friends called so she had no calls to catch up on. That Monday she awoke feeling more sleepy than before she went to bed. She decided to take a cab because the busses were not running due to a city holiday. Fortunately, the cab to her workplace wasn't expensive anyway. She would also have to walk several blocks to catch the bus. She was just happy that she'd be off this Friday again like she was Friday of last week. Before she left to go downstairs and catch her cab her phone rang: Hello! Hey sweetie I wanted to catch you before you went to work! Hey how was your night! Ok, I had to get out of the apartment and do something. I couldn't just sit there and watch Angie cry or I'd have gone crazy. I love Sandy and I'm worried about her. she's like my sister and if anything happens to her I'll feel like I lost my sister. I know what you mean! Well I think Angie has an answer. I think we need to dig deeper and help her find it. Are you being hard on her, Yvonne? Maybe, but I don't mean to be. I just don't think its helpful right now for her to be blaming herself and feeling sorry for herself. it won't find Sandy! I see! Well, can I help? Sure you all ready are. Thanks! Hey, hang in there! I'll call you tonight! Can I see you tonight, Yvonne? Yeah, I want to see you after work. I'll call you! Ok. Have a good day! You too, Charlotte! As they were hanging up, Charlotte could here her cab's horn bellowing from downstairs. She ran down and jumped in. It was an elderly man driving this morning who charged her 2:40. Neither of them spoke on her short ride to work and as they rode she heard conversations between the dispatcher and drivers over the speaker. She heard the dispatcher say: Yes he hasn't shown up for work in three days so you have to take the ass whole's load plus yours. Yeah, he where's the nice guy mask but underneath that all we all know what he is, pure shit and treats men and women like shit especially that last bitch he fucked. Oh god, what a conversation to wake up to!, Charlotte growled. Talk about!, exclaimed her driver. There talking about that young driver James who drives taxi's at night., he answered gruffly, this is between you and me but he's been causing the company a lot of trouble and embezzling from the cab company and harassing passengers lots of complaints against him, police investigating him right now. Is he gay or something?, Charlotte asked pretending not to know who he was talking about. Something to that affect he answered whatever the young folks call the Sodomic act. He's a sick little fella! Glad I never met him! I think I did. Well if he bothered you miss you let the dispatcher know in anyway there's charges pending on him if they ever find him. Really!, she said in awe. Really that's between you and me. He finally let her off and she was thinking about James and how he was connected to Angela until she got inside her work place. This sure had been a long three days off. First a new lover who happened to be a woman and then a case of abduction. Chapter Six Charlotte came into work positively not ready to begin to answer calls for the week. She made a pot of coffee for the other volunteers and counselors in the office and went to sit at her desk. She said very little for a while as she sat there reflecting on the conversation in the cab both between the dispatcher and the cab driver in the other car and herself and her cab driver. Who was this James guy really? She pondered. He seemed nice but what kind of guy was he really. Was he really capable of theft, harassment or even abduction? Did Angie know this side of him or at least what his co-workers said about him? Could Sandy be with him, she wondered in the back of her mind? Who should she talk to about this? She was wondering these things when the phone started her usual busy day by ringing off the hook. She started taking calls and getting people in for counseling, scheduling appointments, making calls for follow-up appointments, following up on those who had come through the agency by asking questions and getting on with her busy day. By the time lunch arrived she was consumed with her work and forgot about the abduction and her romance until a good co-worker friend, Pam commented that she seemed distracted that morning when she came in. Charlotte and Pam usually sipped coffee in the morning before they began taking calls. "Is there a new love in your life?"