Date: Tue, 29 May 2001 04:44:59 From: Erin Chalmers Subject: Secret Emotion-Chapter 10 Hey look! I didn't take a super long time like I usually do! That's because everyone kept bugging me and I couldn't take the pressure. So I sat in front of my computer for a very very long time and wrote. Thanks to Derek, Mike, Billy (I told you it would be less than 31 days!), Sarah JJ, Danni, Trish, Carly (You're gonna have a field day with this one), Mark (Did you get my e-mail? Because it wasn't sending at first), Aubree, Ann, RedOne and Harrison for dropping me a line. And of course thanks to Aaron, for reading my boring e-mails full of whining and for mourning the loss of my precious McDonalds ruler. I know some authors complain about getting feedback that only consists of a few words or sentences, but I appreciate anything I get. It's awesome to know people are liking what I write, even if they only take a few minutes to do it. However small of a gesture it seems, it makes my day to open up my e-mail and see people begging for the next chapter. So now I'll stop babbling, okay? DISCLAIMER: I don't know 'N Sync (because if I did they wouldn't be dressing like dollar store pimps) and I am not implying that they are gay. Well actually, I guess I am implying that they're gay. But that doesn't mean they are. I just want them to be. Which is kind of weird considering the fact that I'm a girl. Do I seem a bit tipsy tonight? I do, don't I? Just a warning to everyone, this chapter (chapter 10 to be exact, I actually made it this far) is not fun for the whole family. It is only fun for those members of the family who happen to be 18 years of age or older. Well actually, it's probably fun for those members of the family who have gone through or are entering puberty and enjoy two men being naked together and doing...stuff. I think everyone understands now. Chapter 10 "How long have they been in there?" Joey asked. He was sitting on a bed in Justin's hotel room. Christina and Sara were on the other bed and Lance and Chris were each sitting in a chair. Chris looked at his wrist. "If I knew what time it was when they went in there I would be able to tell you," he said. "They'll probably be awhile," Christina said. Lance and Chris exchanged glances. "Okay, you two have to tell us what's going on," Lance said. "We've been through this," Sara replied, "it's not something we have the right to tell you. It's between Justin and JC." "Besides, it looks like you'll be finding out soon anyway," Sara said. "So what does it matter if you tell us now?" Chris asked. Christina thought about it for a minute. "You know, that's a good point," she said. "Christina!" Sara scolded her. "What? It's true!" Christina said. "No it isn't!" Sara replied, "If we told right now it wouldn't be fair. Justin and JC have to tell in their own time." "I swear we won't say that you told us!" Chris pleaded. Joey, who had been quiet the whole time finally threw his hands up in frustration. "As if you guys are that blind!" he said. Everyone looked at Joey in confusion. "I thought I was the dumb one here, but obviously I was wrong!" he said. "Joey, you know what's going on?" Lance asked. "Of course I do! JC and Justin have been flirting with eachother for years. And now they're finally getting it on and I say it's about damn time!" Lance and Chris stared at Joey with open mouths and wide eyes. Christina and Sara exchanged a worried glance. "No way," Chris said. "That's such a lie," Lance agreed, "we would have noticed." "Plus, Justin's straight," Chris said, turning to Christina and Sara and seeing their faces. "Isn't he?" Sara and Christina avoided Lance and Chris' eyes. "Isn't he?" Lance repeated. "Told you so," Joey said. "Oh my God," Chris whispered. "I am right, aren't I?" Joey asked. "Yeah," Christina said. "Christina!" Sara hissed. "Well they knew anyway! I'm not gonna lie!" Sara covered her face with her hands. "I know," she said, "it just shouldn't have happened this way." "I still can't believe it," Lance said, "It won't register in my brain." "Is it gonna be a problem?" Joey asked. "No, of course not!," Lance said. "We already knew JC was gay anyway," Chris said, "obviously it doesn't matter that Justin is too." "I guess it'll be weird seeing them together at first. I'm just shocked because I didn't know," Lance added. "Well technically we don't know that they're together," Christina said. "I hope they are. I can't deal with JC whining anymore!" Sara said. "It kind of makes sense of a lot of things though," Chris said, "Like why they're ALWAYS together and why they're so protective of eachother." "And why Justin freaked out about Luke," Joey said. "How the hell did you figure it out before we did?" Lance asked. "I don't know, I guess it's just my superb detective skills. I'm very intelligent you know!" Joey said as he ducked an attack of pillows from Lance and Chris. "I hope they're working things out," Sara said. Christina took her hand. "Me too." *** JC let go of the doorknob and took a step back. His head was spinning. Had that just happened or was he imagining things? Did Justin just say he loved him? "Josh, please. Don't go." JC took a deep breath and turned around. Justin was staring up at him with tearful, pleading eyes. It made JC's heart ache. For the first time he saw it. He saw the love in Justin's eyes. And the pain. Pain he knew he was causing. "Say it again Justin." Justin sat up straight, his lower lip trembling. Such pretty, pretty lips, JC thought. "I love you," Justin whispered. Before JC knew it he was on top of Justin, kissing him, exploring Justin's mouth with his toungue. But it was different this time. It wasn't out of sexual frustration or lust. It was pure and sweet and full of emotion that until then had been bottled up inside. JC pulled his mouth from Justin's and looked into his eyes. "I love you too," he said. He put his mouth back to Justin's and licked his soft full lips. Then he leaned in and resumed kissing him. JC didn't want to stop. But he did when he realized Justin was still crying JC sat up and looked at Justin. Justin sat up beside him and turned away. "Just?" JC said. Justin turned around and buried his face in JC's chest. And then he REALLY started crying. JC pulled Justin as close as he could while Justin started letting out deep, body shaking sobs. JC sighed as he realized this was the second time in one week that he had to hold Justin while he sobbed. "Josh, just wait a minute. I just need to cry," Justin barely got out. JC sat and waited while Justin cried, knowing there was nothing else to do. When Justin's sobs faded to occassional sniffles, JC gently pushed his face up. "What was that about?" he asked. "I don't know," Justin said, "It was just too much." "What do you mean?" "Josh I've wanted you for so long. I've...loved you for so long. I can't even explain it. You don't know what it's like for me, to finally get the one thing I've been dreaming of." JC smiled. "Justin, I do know what it's like. Because it's happening for me right now." Justin sniffled and JC wiped a tear off of his face. "I don't know if it's completely sunk in yet," Justin said, "I've imagined it so many times. But it was never this good." "Justin, can I ask you something? It might be a stupid question," JC said. "You can ask me anything," Justin replied. "Are you gay?" Justin bit his lip and then looked into JC's eyes. "I...I don't know. I don't think so." JC's eyebrows furrowed and he looked confused. "Josh, I'm not attracted to all men. Just you. I don't know why. I can't explain it. It's always been girls for me, you know that. Only I was never in love. I never met anyone who I knew I wanted to be with forever," Justin said. JC smiled. "You want to be with me forever?" he asked. "You know I do," Justin replied. "Good. Because if you didn't I'd have a very, very lonely life." JC leaned into Justin and kissed him. It was amazing knowing that it was okay to kiss Justin, that he wasn't going to get mad or run away. Justin moaned against JC's mouth and JC loved how he could feel it. JC pushed his hands under Justin's T-shirt and ran his hands along his smooth back. Then he grabbed the T-shirt and pulled it up. They broke their kiss so JC could pull Justin's shirt over his head. He looked down at Justin's perfect torso and felt his pants tighten. He reached out and rubbed his hand over Justin's smooth pecs. He traced a finger down Justin's perfect washboard stomach. Then he drew a circle around Justin's belly button. Justin was breathing hard and biting his lip. "Josh..." he whispered. JC leaned in and kissed Justin, hard. He lightly bit Justin's lower lip and then pulled away again. He undid the button on Justin's fly and then tugged at the zipper. Justin closed his eyes, unable to believe what was going on. He couldn't remember ever being this aroused in his whole life. His skin was burning for JC to touch him. He layed back on the bed as JC pulled his pants off. Justin opened his eyes again and saw JC move closer to him, licking his lips, staring at the bulge in his white boxer briefs. He looked up at the ceiling as he felt JC's hands on his hips, tugging at the waist band of his underwear. All JC wanted was for Justin to be completely naked. It was intoxicating, knowing that he was in complete control of a trembling, barely clothed Justin Timberlake. JC peeled Justin's underwear off and tossed it onto the floor. Then he looked up at Justin's dick, one that he had imagined many times and seen before, although not like this. Not hard and waiting between Justin's spread legs. Justin had his hands over his face, nervous and embarrassed. What if JC didn't like him? Normally Justin was sure of himself and had no problem being naked in front of any girl he'd had sex with. But this was different. He was completely exposed in front of JC. He had never wanted anyone like he wanted JC. Every inch of his body was aching for JC's touch . JC smiled at Justin's insecurity. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and slid his naked body up Justin's, grinding his hips. Justin groaned at the amazingly soft feeling of JC's bare skin against his own. He bit his lip to keep quiet when he felt JC's hard dick against his own. JC took Justin's hands away from his face and Justin looked into his eyes, deep blue pools of lust. JC kissed Justin softly. "You're beautiful," he whispered. "Josh, please..." Justin groaned. "Please what?" JC said, smirking. "Josh..." Justin whimpered. "What do you want Justin?" "Touch me. I want you to touch me." JC slid back down Justin's body and ran his hands up Justin's thighs. Justin bucked his hips and JC let out a chuckle. "Relax," JC said. Then he softly took hold of Justin's cock and jerked his hand up and down the shaft. "Oh fuck," Justin said. He couldn't believe it. JC was touching his dick. That was JC's hand on his dick. Justin didn't think life could get much better. But then he looked down and saw JC stick his toungue out. And he felt JC's warm toungue licking the head of his cock. And then it disappeared into JC's mouth. JC was going slow, wanting it to be good for Justin. "Josh, don't stop," Justin said. He grabbed JC's head and held him down, unable to control himself. As it turned out, JC didn't have to worry about whether or not it was good enough. Justin bucked his hips hard against JC's mouth. "Josh, I'm gonna come," he whispered. JC gave Justin's shaft one last suck and Justin's hips thrust upward, forcing his dick as far into JC's mouth as it would go. Justin let out an unintelligible grunt as he came in JC's mouth. JC kept his mouth clamped around Justin's dick, swallowing every last drop. He sucked until Justin was soft and then he crawled up beside him and they cuddled up together, Justin still breathing like he had run a marathon. He was a little embarrassed that he came so soon. "I love you," Justin whispered. "Because I know how to suck dick?" JC teased. Justin blushed. "No. I mean, yes, you definitely know how to suck dick. And I thank you for that because it was incredible. But that's not why I love you." "I know. It's just a bonus." JC kissed Justin and shivered as Justin let his hand brush along JC's side, resting it on his ass. "Josh?" Justin asked pulling away. "What?" JC said. "I...I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel," he said. JC smiled at Justin's nervousness. Justin bit his lip and moved away from JC so that he could let his eyes wander down his naked body. "Josh I've never done this before. I mean, not with a...a man. What if I'm not good at it?" Justin said. "Justin, you're good at everything. You'll be good at this," JC replied. Justin's eyes were filled with a mixture of fear and lust as he stared at JC's body. His dick was bigger than Justin remembered. Justin blushed a little at the memory of JC masturbating on the bus. "It's okay Justin, you can touch me," JC said. Justin licked his lips and reached out for JC's stomach. He gently ran his hand along JC's abs and dragged it down, through his dark pubic hair. JC took a deep breath as Justin's hand kept travelling lower. JC shifted so that he was on his back and Justin moved in between his spread legs, never breaking contact. Justin hesitantly took JC's cock in his hand and slowly jacked it up and down,pleased at soft moan that escaped JC's mouth. JC wanted to shove Justin's head down between his legs and force his dick into that pretty little mouth. But he didn't. Because it was Justin. And because JC definitely wanted this to happen on a regular basis. He wasn't so sure if Justin was really as nervous as he was acting though. He'd always been a tease. "Is this good?" Justin asked. "Oh yeah," JC moaned. Justin gripped JC's a dick a little harder and jerked him off a little faster. His toungue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth and he had a look of pure concentration on his face. Justin was in another world. He couldn't believe that he was allowed to touch JC like this. It was completely different from being with a girl. JC was nice and firm and strong. Justin was completely turned on. "Josh?" Justin asked. "Yeah?" JC said, breathless. "Can I...give you a blow job?" JC groaned. Seeing Justin sitting there with his dick in his hand, an innocent look on his face, asking if he could suck it was the sexiest thing JC had ever seen. It almost made him cum right there. "Justin, you don't have to ask," he said. Justin hesitated for a bit. "I don't really know how to do it," he said. Justin looked so young and naive. It made JC feel a bit dirty. In a good way. "Just do whatever would feel good if someone was doing it to you," JC said. He was going wild with anticipation. Justin leaned forward and licked his lips. He stuck his toungue out and ran it all the way along JC's dick. "Holy shit," JC said. He gripped the sheets to keep from grabbing Justin's head. Then Justin sucked JC into his mouth, gagging a bit. He pulled back for a second and then tried again, his head bobbing up and down on JC's crotch. "Fuck Justin, that's so good," JC moaned. It seemed that Justin was a quick learner. As JC had mentioned earlier, he really was good at everything. Especially this. "Justin stop." JC said suddenly. Justin let JC's dick fall out of his mouth and looked up at JC. "Why?" Justin asked. "Cuz I'm gonna come," JC replied. "I want you to," Justin said. "I know, but not like this," JC said. Justin looked confused for a minute and then JC pulled him up and flipped him over. Then JC opened up a drawer beside the bed and pulled out some lube. Justin's eyes went wide. "We don't have to," JC whispered. "No, I want you to," Justin said. JC squeezed some lube onto his finger and Justin lifted his hips off of the bed. JC gently pushed his finger into Justin's asshole and Justin whimpered a bit. "Is it okay?" JC asked. "Yeah," Justin said, "Don't stop." JC moved his finger around a bit, letting Justin get used to it. He looked uncomfortable at first, but after awhile he started moaning. "You like that?" JC asked. "Yes," Justin whispered. JC pulled his finger out and grabbed the lube. "Let me," Justin said. JC bit his lip as Justin spread lube all over his cock. Then he pushed Justin's legs up and placed himself at Justin's asshole. "You can still say no," he said. "Do it," Justin said. JC gently pushed himself in, fighting the urge to shove it really hard. Justin's eyebrows furrowed. "You want me to stop?" "Just for a second," Justin said. JC waited for a bit, until Justin looked a little more relaxed. "Okay," Justin said. JC slowly slid all the way in. He let out a breath of hot air in Justin's ear. "God you're tight," he said. "Well it's not like anything's been in there before," he said. JC could hear the pain in his voice. He wanted to stop for Justin, but he knew it would get better soon. Plus it felt amazing for JC. "I'll go slow," he said. JC pulled out and then thrust back in, harder than the first time, but still gentle. After awhile, Justin's face wasn't contorted in the same painful grimace as when he started. JC couldn't hold himself back anymore and shoved himself in really hard. "Holy fuck," Justin said, his eyes going wide. "It's good, isn't?" JC panted. Justin just groaned in response as JC licked his neck. "Josh...don't stop." JC was thrusting in and out, loving the sound of Justin moaning into his ear. It was better than he'd ever imagined. He had never felt more connected to anyone. It was like nothing else mattered. All the years they had wasted, pining after eachother, wondering if they would ever be together faded away. Now it was just them, locked together, the ultimate fulfillment of an attraction that had been building since they first met. JC reached down and grabbed Justin's dick, stroking it in time with his thrusts. "Harder Josh, fuck me harder," Justin said. JC hissed as Justin's nails dug into his back. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. "Justin...you feel so good," he said. Justin's eyes were closed and he was grunting every time JC shoved his dick into his ass. "Justin look at me," JC said. Justin opened his eyes and looked into JC's. They stared at eachother, not breaking their rythm. "I love you," JC whispered. "I love you too," Justin replied. JC started fucking Justin even faster and Justin cried out. "I'm gonna come," he said. "Me too," JC shouted. Then he thrust in one more time and yelled Justin's name as he felt the hot liquid spurt into Justin's ass. At the same time Justin came all over both of their stomachs. JC collapsed on top of Justin and began to cry. Justin rubbed his back and tried to regain his composure. "Shhh, Josh, it's okay," he whispered. JC didn't even bother trying to hold it in. He was completely overcome with love for Justin. He had never had sex that was that perfect. Because he had never had sex with Justin. JC cuddled into Justin's chest, unable to get close enough. He realized that now, if he lost Justin, he would die. So he was going to fight to keep him for the rest of his life. Justin gently nudged JC off of him. Then he leaned over and kissed the tears off of his face. "Josh, stop crying," Justin said. "I love you so much," JC replied. Justin kissed JC softly on the lips and cuddled up next to him. "Was I good?" Justin asked. JC laughed through his tears. "Always thinking about yourself," he teased. "I am not!" Justin replied, "I was thinking about you! Because if I wasn't good then you're gonna be pretty unhappy." JC laughed again. "Trust me Justin, I'm not gonna be unhappy," he said. "Good. I thought maybe you were crying because I was really bad," Justin said. JC put his arms around Justin and held him as close as possible. "No. I was crying because you were THAT good," he said. Justin smiled. "Well, you said it best, I'm good at everything." JC kissed Justin on the forehead. "Yes, you certainly are." "Josh?" "Yeah?" "I have to tell you something." JC pushed his head away from Justin's so he could look him in the eyes. "Don't get mad, okay?" JC didn't say anything, he just looked at Justin, waiting for him to continue. "Well, remember when we were fighting, after we kissed?" "Yes." "Well, when we were on the bus, you thought I was sleeping in my bunk, remember? But the thing is, I really wasn't." JC's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember when Justin was talking about, and then his eyes suddenly went wide. "I woke up because I heard you...making noises," Justin continued, "So I got up and peeked past the curtains and then I saw you...masturbating and I sort of...watched." Justin and JC both turned red. "Are you mad?" Justin asked. "No," JC said, "Just embarrassed." "Don't be embarrassed. It was sexy. I liked it." "Really?" JC asked. "Yeah. I had to run to the bathroom and take care of myself." JC laughed. "I knew I heard a door closing!" he said. "Well, now neither of us will have to worry about getting horny on tour and having to take care of it oursleves," Justin said. Suddenly somebody banged really loudly on the door. "JC!" a deep voice yelled. Justin felt JC's body tense up. "JC! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW! IT'S ME, LUKE!" Smut smut smut. I guess there wasn't much substance in that chapter, huh? Well. I wonder what's going to happen next. Nobody knows except for me. But I hope you all liked what's happened so far. I kind of suck at writing sex. I'll try to make it better next time. If there is a next time... I'm so mean! Anyway, I'll talk to everyone soon.