Date: Sun, 5 Nov 2000 05:04:20 -0500 (EST)
From: Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>
Subject: Fall Down and Smile - 5

Here it is!  I wanna thank everyone whose been e-mailing me :) I really
appreciate it.  If I haven't replied to your e-mail, I'M REALLY SORRY! I
suck at replying.

I made a webpage! Hehe. This is like...#20 I think.  The address is:
http://virtue.nu/babykitten if anyone wants to check it out.  Also, on the
site is the address if you want to subscribe to the e-mail list.  If you
don't make it to the site, I believe the e-mail is :
brainwashedsecretdreamerfollowers-subscribe@egroups.com I know, its an
interesting e-mail buut I got it from one of my readers :) She knows who
she is , and thank you to her.

Well, I think that's it.  I really hope you enjoy this chapter.  Again, if
you'd like to IM me on aim, my s/n is : Cheschire Diva & Tersa the Weaver.

Chapter 5
"Now I'm stronger than yesterday.."
By: Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>

	Jared's death barely phased either of us.  All Dawn had to worry
about was working with Jared's understudy.  I just wished that Jared had
suffered more.  From the reviews that I read, the play was a complete
success and praised Dawn's abilities to no end.  I was hoping that it would
bring her the fame that she'd been dreaming of for so long.

	My novel was nearing completion.  I knew it needed work but it was
enough to catch a few glances.  I was sitting at the kitchen table,
printing it out when Dawn burst into the room.

	"You'll never guess what happened today!" she exclaimed, jumping up
and down.

	"California declared itself a country?"

	"Funny, funny. No! To ME."

	"I have no clue.  What happened to you today?"

	"I have an agent!  Someone came up after tonight's performance and
said she wanted to represent me! Isn't that cool!?  I could have auditions
as soon as tomorrow!"

	"That's great!"  I shared in her enthusiasm.  I really was happy
for her.  "We should celebrate," I suggested.

	She nodded her approval.  "Like a girls' night in sort of thing,"
she gushed gleefully.  "We'll go to the corner store and get ice cream and
chips and all those things we were never allowed to eat when we were
little," she giggled.

	"And movies! Can't forget movies!"

	"'Better Than Chocolate'! Oh please! Can we get 'Better Than
Chocolate'?"

	I laughed at her.  The grin on her face and bounce of her hair
reminded me of an eager child on Christmas morning.  "It's your night,
sugar.  Everything is up to you."

	She let out a loud squeal before disappearing into her room to
change.

	I finished printing out my novel and followed.

*******

	"You realize this is going to make us sick, right?" I told her as
she piled in a few more packages of cookies.  I peered down at the already
full cart.  There were at least six pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, three
bags of skittles and m&ms, nine packages of cookies, and two boxes of
Orville Redenbacher's Movie Theatre Extra Butter popcorn.

	She looked at me as if I had three heads. "So?"

	I shrugged.  As long as she was happy.

*******

	The trip to the movie rental store was much the same.  We picked
out two movies: Better Than Chocolate and Dogma.

	Back at the apartment, we sat down in front of the TV.  At that
point we were in the beginning stages of the junkfest.  Dawn inserted
'Better Than Chocolate' into the VCR and settled next to me.  Both having
spoons dug into a pint of ice cream.

*******

	The movie had ended and three pints of ice cream were gone.

	"You know," I said. "We got enough food to feed like three more
people."

	Dawn just laughed and nodded at me, enthusiastically as the phone
rang.

	I found it underneath the coffee table. "Hello?"

	"Iya! It's Olivia! What are you and Dawn doing?"

	"Hey Lia. We're having a girls' night in."

	As I said that, Dawn jumped up. "Invite her and Love over!" she
demanded.

	I laughed.  "Hey.  You and Love wanna come over? We've got tons of
food."

	"Yeah!  Lemme ask her.  She's already here."  I heard some muffled
giggles in the background.  "Yeah!  We'll be right over.  And we have
something to contribute to the party."

	"Cool!  See you guys in a few."  I closed the connection.  "They're
on their way."

	"Awesome!"  Dawn responded opening up a package of skittles and
munching away.

*******


	The doorbell rang announcing Olivia and Love's arrival.  I opened
it with a flourish.  They bounded in with over night bags and another
clinking one.

	"We brought al-KE-hall," Olivia giggled.  From the looks of it,
they were already a little bit tipsy.  "And we have just the game for you
guys!"

	"Great!"  Dawn exclaimed, hugging both of them warmly.  "What did
you bring?"

	Olivia opened the bag and took out each bottle as she named it.
"We have vodka, a bit of tequila, and straight whiskey."  She also produced
four shot glasses.

	"Here's the game," Love sat down on one side of the coffee table
and instructed us all to do the same.  "One of us asks someone else a
question, if that person refuses to answer, they have to take a shot."

	I knew I was going to hate this game but Dawn seemed okay with it
so I reluctantly agreed.

	"Dawn you go first," Olivia suggested.

	She scanned the table before landing on Love.  "Love.  Have you
ever had sex or wanted to have sex with Olivia?"

	We watched her eyes bug out of her head for a second before
mumbling that she would take a drink.  She took a shot of tequila.  "My
turn.  Iya."

	I had dreaded that.  Who knew what cruel and unusual question she
would have for me.

	"How many women have you slept with?"

	I blushed slightly.  "One."

	That brought a few surprised gasps from the rest of the room.
"Only one!" Olivia screeched. "Who?"

	"Who do you think? Gretchen, duh.  Anyway, it's my turn."

 	The game progressed quickly.  Half an hour later, we were all
plastered and dancing around like idiots.  We had mostly forgotten about
the game and were just drinking straight out of the bottles.

	"Oh! I have a question for Dawn & Iya," Love slurred as she drank
from the vodka bottle.  "When are you two gonna fuck?"  she demanded.

	"Gimme a damn bottle," I growled and snatched the tequila bottle
from Olivia.  I gulped down a bit before handing it to Dawn.

	She pushed it away.  "I'll answer the question.  Personally, I'd
like to fuck her right now.  I've wanted to fuck her even since we met.
But Nooo we're both so fucking proud that we won't fuck."  She grabbed the
vodka bottle and took a long swig.

	"You, You wanna fuck me?"  I swallowed around the lump in my
throat.

	"Yes!"

	"Oh."  I grabbed the whiskey and took a long drink.  It burned
terribly as it slid down my throat.  But eventually it created a warm fuzzy
feeling.  "Oh, I have warm fuzzies," I giggled, already forgetting about
Dawn's statement.


	A few hours after that, we were all reduced to lying all over the
room in our underwear.  Apparently, the air conditioner was broken and the
windows just weren't cutting it.  I was munching on an oreo and laughing at
nothing at all.  Dawn was lying next to me with her feet dangling over the
side of the sofa, twisting a bit of her hair.  "You know," she hiccuped
loudly.  "this was really fun.  We should do this much often."

	"Yeah," Love agreed with a giggle.  "Hey, what time is it?"

	I squinted at the VCR clock.  "2: 30."  This became quite amusing
as all of us broke into fits of giggles.  Dawn laughed so hard she fell
against my shoulder.  The warm fuzzies I already had in my stomach doubled.
She looked up at me, a few strands of hair creating a shield over her
beautiful blue eyes.  I brushed them away and tucked them behind her
perfect shaped ear.  She bit her lower lip in the cutest way you can
imagine and placed a little peck on my lips.  Completely stunned, I was
unaware of the fact I hadn't kissed back.  She looked at me, looking
completely dejected.  I took a deep breath and brought my lips to hers in a
longer, more lasting kiss.  Our lips worked against each other and soon she
was positioned on top of me.

	"Get a room!"  Olivia giggled, still nursing one of the bottles of
vodka.

	I looked at Dawn and grinned.  "Don't mind if we do.  Your room or
mine?"

	"Yours."  She pulled me up and dragged me to the bedroom. "Bye."

	I waved at Olivia and Love before I was lost in the darkness.
Dawn's hands guided me through to the bed as it groaned under our weight.
Again, our lips met in a frantic kiss as her hands roamed my body.  I
couldn't help the groan that escaped my lips as my hands ran over her
perfectly shaped breasts, the muscled form that was her stomach, the flat
plain of her back and the round, soft flesh of her thighs.

	"I love you," she whispered as she nibbled on my ear. "I always
have."

	"I love you," I returned as I fumbled with the clasp of her bra.
She sat up and let the fabric fall off her arms as it landed on the floor.
I bit my lip as I stared at her half-naked form.  She was the most
beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life.  "You're so beautiful," and I
let her know it.

	Even in the dark, I witnessed her blush as she kissed me again.
"Not as beautiful as you."

	I don't remember much after that except for being in pure ecstasy.

*******

	The sun spilled onto the carpet as the afternoon sun rose in the
sky.  Unfortunately, it wasn't so beautiful for us.  I opened my eyes to
feel a warrm structure holding me and I was holding it.  I looked up from
where my face was buried in a soft crevice, a pair of breasts that were not
my own.  I followed the neck and chin, ruby red lips, button nose and the
eyes that made up Aphrodite.  She was still asleep.  I smiled at last
nights' events and surprisingly, I didn't regret them at all.  I couldn't
speak for Dawn, though.  But, I didn't get to enjoy the moment for very
long, I soon felt the consequences of last nights alcohol binge.  I ran for
the bathroom and threw up my intestines.  I flushed it into oblivion and
popped a few tylenol before my hangover started.  It seemed to stop some of
the after effect.  I stumbled into the living room.  I could only imagine
how I looked.  I'm sure it didn't even mirror the way I felt.  I grinned
upon seeing Olivia and Love.  They were nestled on the couch, legs and arms
entwined.  I couldn't tell where one person ended and the other began.

	Feeling a bit chilly, I scampered back to the bedroom.  Dawn was
still sleeping but stirred a bit when I slid back under the blankets.
Instinctively, she wrapped her arms back around me.  I placed my head on
her chest and yawned.  Maybe I could catch a bit more sleep.

	"Muffin?"  Maybe not.

	"Hmm?"

	"Thanks."

	"For what?" I wondered.

	"For last night.  I know we were both really plastered but I
remember it and thanks.  It was the most amazing night of my life."

	I snuggled closer to her.  "No. Thank you."

	Her grasped tightened around me as her fingers lazily ran through
my hair.  I sighed contently.  I could've stayed like this for the rest of
my life.  "So does this mean we're together?"

	I propped myself up on one arm and stared into her eyes.  She
looked unsure of my answer.  Still, her fingers ran through my hair.  "Do
you want to be?"  I inquired.

	She blushed slightly and just nodded.

	"I do too."

	She squealed and pushed me down against the mattress.  She
straddled my waist and kissed me deeply.  "How about round two?"

	"I'd love to but I have a headache," I really did.

	"Already making excuses," she rolled her eyes and lay back down.

	"Funny funny," I stuck my tongue out at her.

	"Don't show it off unless you're prepared to use it."

	"That was pretty corny," I giggled.

	"Corny Shmorny.  I'm still cute."

	I couldn't help laughing at her expression.  Lip jetting out and
eyes pleading.  "Yes, you are."  I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.
Everything was perfect.  Dawn was doing extremely well in her acting and I
was going to have a #1 Bestselling novel, well I hoped I would.

	"Hi," Love came running into the room and bounced onto the bed.  We
both sat up, covering our nakedness with the blanket.

	"Oh like I haven't seen a naked woman before," she retorted to our
behavior.

"What's your point?"  I remarked, finding my underwear near the bed and
pulling it on.

	Dawn pouted at me and dragged me farther underneath the blankets.
"I prefer you naked."

	"Well I want world peace but it ain't gonna happen," I giggled and
kissed her forehead.  "So is Olivia still asleep?"  I inquired.

	"Yeah.  When I came in here she was."

	"I have an idea.  I just wanna fuck with her head."  I got up and
pulled on a pair of tear-away pants and a tank top.  Dawn's expression
looked even more dejected.  I gave her a long, deep kiss on the lips and
skipped out of the room.  "It'll be fun."

	I walked into the living room and fell onto the couch making a
'humph' noise, loud enough to wake up Olivia.  She yawned and looked at me.
"What are you doing out here?  Shouldn't you be cuddling in bed with your
girlfriend?"

	I snorted.  "Girlfriend? Ha!"

	This seemed to startle her and she jumped up.  "Aren't you two
going to go out now?"

	"No.  She kicked me out of bed!  Apparently, after a nice fuck she
doesn't like to cuddle."

	Olivia moved her mouth that came close to a fish and stormed into
the bedroom.  Dawn and Love were laughing and hitting each other with
pillows.  "You kicked her out!?" she shrieked.

	Dawn, uninformed of my plan, stopped in mid swing and was met with
a pillow in the head.  Her mouth moved in that of a fish as well and stared
at Olivia.

	I winked at her and grinned.

	"Yeop," she shrugged and hit Love hard across the face.  "She
wasn't really that good."

	"B-but you two have been after each other for months!"

	I shrugged.  "Sometimes the doughnut is sweeter if you don't bite
into it."

	Dawn nodded her agreement.

	Olivia sputtered, trying to figure out what had just happened.
"This.  I mean."

	"Don't worry Olive," I grinned and put my arm around her shoulders.
"We're just fucking with ya."

	The look on her face was absolutely priceless, that is, until she
plundered me with a pillow.  Before I knew it, all three were pounding me,
quite hard, with pillows.

	"Okay! Iya has a headache!"  I yelled, shielding my head from the
bombardment.  This seemed to remind everyone of their own hangovers and
soon there was a line for the bathroom.  Quite satisfied, I skipped to the
kitchen and began the coffee machine as the phone rang.  I groaned and
picked it up.  "Hello?"

	"Helllloo This is Caroline with Horizon Agencies.  May I please
speak to Dawn Reed?"  her chipper voice was nauseating but I complied.

	"Hold on one second."  I put down the phone and knocked on the
bathroom door. "Dawn? Phone for you."

	"Who is it?"

	"Someone named Caroline from Horizon Agencies."  I've never seen
Dawn move so fast in my life.  Before I knew it, she was sitting on the
kitchen counter, with the phone to her ear.  I kissed her cheek and
prepared four cups of coffee.

*******

	Olivia, Love, and I were watching Dogma when Dawn came skipping
in. "Guess what?"

	"What?"  I yawned and took a long sip of coffee.

	"I have auditions all week! For 'Days of Our Lives' and even a
couple of movies!"  She flopped down onto the couch next to us and took the
coffee cup out of my hands.

	"That's great," I grinned and took the cup back. "When's the first
one?"

	"Tomorrow," again, she took the cup and took a large sip before
handing it back.

*******

	I barely saw Dawn at all that week.  Caroline had her running from
audition to audition from as early as seven to as late as midnight.  But I
knew she was loving every minute of it and her effort would be well
rewarded when everything fell into place.

	That Friday, I made an effort to wake up earlier than 5, which for
me is completely unspeakable, and made a nice little breakfast for the two
of us.  It wasn't anything fancy, just bagels and coffee.  Neither of us
really ate much for the morning meal so this seemed to suffice quite well.

	I was finishing up with the coffee when a tussled and sleepy woman
emerged from the bedroom.  "Morning," she yawned and kissed me on the
cheek.

	I took the two warm plates from the oven. "Morning. I made
breakfast."

	"Oh Muffin," she beamed and took one of the plates. "And it's my
favorite," she kissed me again and sat at the table.

	I handed her a cup of coffee and sat across from her.

	"Thank you," she smiled between a bit of cream cheese.

	I giggled at her expression. "You're welcome."

	Breakfast was peaceful and quiet until Caroline came bounding in.
Why didn't that woman ever knock?

	"Morning all!" she welcomed, helping herself to a cup of coffee. "I
don't believe we've met," she smiled at me.

	"I'm Iya Moon."

	"Iya's my girlfriend," Dawn smiled and winked at me.

	I loved the way that sounded. "Dawn's Girlfriend," I smiled back at
her as we entwined fingers.

	"Nice to meet you.  Now we have two auditions today.  I should have
you back here by 3 at the latest."

	Dawn nodded and brushed off her hands.  "Just lemme go get
dressed."

	We shared a quick kiss before she disappeared into the bedroom.  I
started cleaning up the kitchen as Caroline sat down and finished her
coffee.  "Would you like a bagel or anything?"  might as well play host.

	"No thank you, dear.  I ate before I came."

	Well than.  No skin off my nose.  I loaded the dishwasher and
excused myself.  I knocked on the bedroom door before slidding in.  "He-Are
you okay?"  Dawn was sitting on the side of the bed, holding her stomach.

	She nodded. "I just feel-" she didn't finish before she ran from
the room and to the bathroom.

	I followed and heard her vomit into the toilet.  I walked in and
ran my hand over her back.

	"I think I'm okay now," she stood up slowly.  I wet a wash cloth
and held it to her lips.  She gave me an appreciative smile.

	"Is everything okay?" Caroline inquired.

	Dawn nodded.  "Guess that bagel didn't sit so well with me."

	"I'm sorry," I said, wrapped my arms around her waist and kissing
her.

	"It's okay but thank you.  I think we should have breakfast
together more often."  She disappeared back into the bedroom.

	I grabbed the book from the coffee table and settled down on the
couch.

	"Do you work?" Caroline asked me.

	"If you mean a 9-5, no.  I'm actually waiting for my novel to come
back from the government.  I'm getting it patented before I send it out to
a few publishers."

	"That's smart.  Keeps it from getting stolen."

	I nodded. "Exactly."

	Dawn came out of the bathroom with a smile and a snazzy outfit on.

	"Good luck, sugar," I whispered as we kissed.

	"Thanks, Muffin. For everything."

	I winked at her. "Knock'em dead."

	She smiled and they left.  I was left to a boring apartment, yet
again.  I picked up the phone and decided to rectify it.  I dialed Olivia's
number.

	"Hello?" a groggy male voice asked.

	"Can I speak to Olivia please?"  Odd.

	"She's sleeping.  Can I take a message?"

	"Yeah. Just tell her Iya called."

	"Sure thing, later."

	I hung up.  So Olivia got laid.  I sighed and took a quick shower
before dressing in a lose fitting pear of flares and a red tank top.
Across the front, curvy black print proclaimed "Goddess".  I grabbed my bag
which contained my computer, a book, and my camera.

	I found a piece of paper and scribbled a note to Dawn saying I
would be in Central Park.  Just in case she returned before I did.  I
grabbed my house key and left the apartment, remembering to lock it.

*******

	I found a spot near a fountain and sat down to enjoy the summer
sun.  I sighed in desperation, fall semester started in two weeks. That is,
if I decided to complete my 4th year.

	I decided to forget about it and took out my camera.  There were a
group of little kids playing tag with bubbles nearby.  I took out the right
lens and photographed them laughing and smiling.  Running and jumping.

	The fun didn't last for long as parents' came and took their
children home.  I took a few shots of the fountain and interesting people
that happened to walk by.

	I noticed a food cart making it's way around the circle.  I glanced
at my watch.  11: 30.  I waited until the cart was close before getting a
hot dog and coke.  It was small but enough to hold me over until I returned
that afternoon.

	As I ate, I watched a couple talk on a bench.  They made a good set
and I started making them into characters.  It was something I often did
for fun or when I actually needed a character for a story I was concocting.
I would find a person who a few people and make up what was going to happen
to them or was already happening to them.  To refresh my memory later on, I
took a few snapshots.

	The familiar sound of the film rewinding, reminded me that I had
only brought one roll.  With a frustrated groan, I packed up the camera and
began the walk back to the apartment.  There wasn't enough time to grab
another roll and make it back while there was the right light.

	I unlocked the apartment door and set down my bag in the bedroom.
To my surprise, the shower was running.  I knocked on the door. "Dawn?"  No
answer. I knocked again.  "Dawn? Sugar, are you okay?" Still nothing.
Extremely concerned, I tried to doorknob.  To my relief, it was unlocked.
I pushed open the door as a wave of humidity hit me.  "Dawn?"

	I pulled back the shower curtain.  Dawn sat in the corner of the
shower.  Knees drawn tightly to her chest.  I shut off the flow of water.
She just stared up me.  Her hair was limp around her face and tears
streamed down her cheeks.  I picked her up out of the bathtub and set her
down on the toilet seat.  She just sat limply as I grabbed a towel and
dried her off as well as I could.

	"I-Iya?"  She stared at me as I helped her up and into the bedroom.
I found some clothes and dressed her.  "I'm pregnant."

--

	Don't kill me! Hehe.  I hope you all liked this chapter as much as
I enjoyed writing it. Chapter 6 will be out within the next week and a half
I believe.  Have a good week.

Safe Passage and Don't forget to smile,
Secret Dreamer <dreamsecret@poetic.com>