Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2003 16:14:56 +1100
From: Sal Lee <lee_sal@hotmail.com>
Subject: Lucky Lecture 13

Lucky Lecture - 13
By Sal Lee

So what do you think of my tale so far? Reckon it has a happy ending? The
most memorable stories ever written all had unhappy endings. Think Romeo and
Juliet, Titanic...err I can't think of any others right, now, but you get my
drift. Stories that aren't always happy seem to leave us grasping at hope.
We remember them because our lives could turn out just like them. My life is
still being written. So in saying all of that, I won't tell you if I have a
happy ending or not, cause quite frankly I don't know. What's happy to you
is not necessarily happy to me, or anyone else, so how can we predict
anything pertaining to a happy life?

When we came home from visiting Nikki's folks, life was bliss. I was trying
to gather the courage to ask Nikki if she would move in with me. I miss not
having her around, ya know?
So finally, two weeks after we got back I woke up one morning, and just
thought bugger it, I'm gonna do it. The worst she can say is no, right? So I
rang Nikki and asked her to meet me on the Library steps at lunch time. She
agreed. I was actually pretty darn nervous when I was walking to Uni that
day. I decided to take a detour and stop by her house instead. It was still
in the same shape when I was last there, only the grass had grown longer.
Looking at my surroundings I was sure she'd say yes, I mean I'd move
anywhere to get out of a dump like that if I had to. Oy ga voi.
The door was actually open, it was only 11am so I figured there had to be
someone around, maybe Nikki opened the door to let some fresh air in, I'm
certain stoned boy doesn't help much with the freshening of the air. I
walked in and called out "Hello?"
No answer, I walked through, looking around hoping to catch Nikki somewhere.
"Anybody home?" Still no answer.
I walked down the short hallway peering into each room...nothing. I got to
the room at the very back, and its door was closed, so I slowly opened the
door. What I saw is kinda hazy cause I pretty much ran the fuck outta there
as soon as I gathered what had happened. But basically Jack was naked in bed
snuggled up cozily to my equally naked girlfriend. Though I guess now she
was my ex-girlfriend.
Like I said I don't really remember much else, cause I felt like I was about
to hurl and that wouldn't have been very dignified would it. I ran and I ran
and I ran. I have no idea where I was going, I just know I needed to go
somewhere. A multitude of thoughts were racing through my head...how could
she do that to me? Was I not enough for her? Why didn't I see this coming? I
thought we were happy.
Eventually the burning in my legs told me to stop or at least slow down. I
didn't realise until I got to Jen's door that I was crying. I knocked softly
on the door. Jen opened it a short while after.
"DJ? DJ, honey, what's wrong?"
"Nikki...." Was all I could get out before I slumped into Jen's arms. I'm
pretty sure she was as stunned as I was. Never in the time she had known me,
had she seen me cry. She held tightly to me and walked us into her lounge
room.
"Jenny, who is it baby?"
Jen turned her head towards the woman, I couldn't be bother looking. "Nat,
can you get us some water please?"
Nat must have complied cause she never came over to the couch or said
anything else. She came back a little while with a glass of water.
"Here, DJ, sip this."
I drank the water like a child needing help from its mother. Jen put the
glass back when I finished and settled into the couch with me. "It's OK,
Deej. Whatever's happened can be made good."
I shook my head against her chest. "No it won't."
"Shhhh, it's ok, calm down babe."
I wailed. I don't know why, but I just wailed. Nothing Jen said could make
it right. If anything whatever she said was making me feel like shit. I know
she wasn't doing it on purpose.
I don't know how long we stayed there like that, I heard the woman, Nat,
talk to Jen, but I had no idea what she was saying.  Somewhere along the way
I must have fallen asleep. In my dreams I'd asked Nikki to live with me and
she'd said yes and we were living happily ever after. In my hazy almost
awake state I thought it was Nikki holding me, I nuzzled into her neck
closer and began sleepily kissing along her neck. I breathed in her
scent....wait a minute...
"Jen???"
"Yeah it's me, DJ."
"Oh. Sorry." I said, I was so disappointed at that moment in time.
I sat up. "Are you Ok, Deej?"
I rubbed my eyes and race, then ran my hands through my hair. "I'm cool. I
just gotta go to the toilet."
"Alright."
I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Jesus I
looked like shit. I did what I had to do,  and as I was washing my hands,
Jen knocked on the door.
"Yeah?"
"DJ, Nikki's on your phone."
I opened the door, took the phone from Jen's hand and hit the end of call
button.
I was beyond sad now, I was flaming mad. I finally invested my heart into a
relationship and she fucks me over. What an idiot I am.
"DJ, what's going on?"
Jen actually flinched from the look I gave her. "It's over between Nikki and
I. She's taught me something I knew a long time ago but forgot." I went to
grab another drink of water, as I was walking away I mumbled. "Never fall in
love with straight girls...or anyone for that matter."
"What happened?"
I gulped down the water, not realizing Jen had followed me into the kitchen.
I turned around and half sighed, half grumbled. "Nikki and I were suppose to
meet on the Library lawn at midday, I was gonna ask her to move in with me."
I stopped and fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "I decided instead to
surprise her at her place, when I got there the front door was open, I
called out and it seemed no one was home. When I checked in Nikki's room
there was someone home alright."
"Oh no."
"Uh huh, she was in bed buck naked with Jack."
"The guy that beat her up?"
"The one and the same. Huh. Maybe she likes that sort of thing." I said,
sarcastic venom dripping from my words.
"Oh, DJ, I'm sorry Babe. Did she say anything?"
"Nup, I didn't want to hear anything from her mouth. SO I bolted and ended
up here. Sorry for landing on your doorstep, by the way. I should get going.
I hope I didn't interrupt anything."
"DJ, you know I'm always here. Maybe if you talk to Nikki she can explain
what happened."
"Nah, it's pretty obvious what I saw Jen."
Jen laid her hand on my forearm. "DJ, even the seemingly most obvious of
events can have a different meaning behind them. Talk to Nikki, don't throw
all you two have got on the assumption of something."
Jen really was making sense, but I was pretty irrational at that moment so I
just nodded with no intention of talking to Nikki.
"I better get going. Thanks and sorry again Jen."
"Anytime DJ. Take care alright?" She leaned forward to give me a hug.
"You too."

I decided on walking home. It was dark and risky but I didn't really care.
My phone rang five more times on the way home, I never answered it. The
number was Nikki's phone. I walked home on Auto-pilot. When I got to the
front I never saw Nikki sitting out the front to the entrance.
"DJ?" She said, her voice with a hint of worry.
I looked up at her. The hurt came thundering through me, why did she do that
to me? I tried walking past her to get to the door, she stubbornly stood in
front of it.
"Could you move please?" I didn't dare look at her.
"DJ, what's going on?"
"Pl...Please move." I was on the verge of tears again.
"DJ, Honey. Please...talk to me. What's wrong with you?"
I looked at her, when our eyes met, mine watered. "How could you?" I said
with a quivering lip.
"How could I what?"
"Oh don't act like you don't know, Nikki. I saw you."
She really was a good actress. The look of confusion was really genuine.
Jen's words filtered into my thick head.
I sighed. "Let me open the door and we'll go in and talk."
She looked at me for reassurance, then nodded and moved. I felt her hand
move to the small of my back.
"Please don't touch me." I said.
When we entered my apartment I stood back to let her by then closed the
door, leaning back on it.
"Why didn't you meet me at the library?" She asked.
"I went to your place earlier."
"You did?"
I nodded. Gulping, trying to hold back the parade of images going through my
head involving Nikki and Jack.
"Well I was there until quarter too twelve."
"I know you were there."
"Well why didn't you come in, or knock?"
"I did. You had company."
Nikki really looked confused. "Alright, DJ, you're confusing me. I was home,
but asleep until 11:30. I don't know why but I really slept in. But when I
woke up I was alone."
My curiosity piqued. "You're not a late sleeper, at least not that late
anyway."
"I know, I don't know why I slept till then, I went to bed after I got off
the phone to you last night, and that was, what...10?"
"Yeah, around then."
"I dunno, maybe I just needed the sleep."
I snorted (kinda) "Didn't look to me like you'd been sleeping."
"DJ, what the fuck is going on?"
"I saw you in bed with Jack!!!!"
The stunned look Nikki had on her face then was believable.
"What? No way!"
"I went to your place early to surprise you, I was going to ask...god damn
it, I was going to ask you to move in with me. When I got there your front
door was open so I walked in to look for you, when I got to your room you
were in bed naked with Jack."
"DJ, I don't know what you think you saw, but the idea of me being in bed
with Jack makes me want to throw up. Do you remember what he did to me?"
"Yeah I remember, I figured that's how you preferred it." That sounded
harsher than I intended. Nikki was visibly hurt.
"Fuck you, DJ." She was about to say more but her phone rang.
"I bet that's lover boy." I said, man was I on a roll!
Nikki either didn't hear or chose to ignore me.  "Hello? Oh Hi Derek, look
this isn't a good time can you...uh huh...he did what??? Oh jesus. Thankyou
so much Derek. No, I'll deal with him later." She hit end.
"What was that all about?"
"I think I'm gonna be sick." She said just before she bolted to the
bathroom.
Normally I'd be in there holding her hair back and soothing her back, but
right now I couldn't care less.
I waited for a bit till I heard the toilet flush. She came back to where we
were talking and sat down.
"Do you know who Derek is?" She said wearily.
"No idea."
"He's friends with Jack. Except he's a lot nicer and respectful to women
then Jack is."
"So?"
"Apparently Jack was at a pub with the boys bragging how he showed my dyke
girlfriend what she needed to see."
I tilted my head slightly. "What...?"
"Derek said, Jack came by to see me at about 9am, I was having breakfast and
he must of slipped something into my juice, cause I don't even remember him
being there. Derek said Jack was bragging that he got me into bed and...oh
god...."
"He what?" My fists were balled at my side.
"Fucked me. He...he was apparently about to leave when he heard you show up
and made it look blatantly obvious what you would have thought we were
doing."
I've known Nikki too long to recognize when she's lying me...at this moment,
I knew she wasn't.
"That son of a bitch! I'll kill him." I sprang out of my chair intending on
castrating the Neanderthal. One look at Nikki and I knew that was not the
right option. She needed me, and I was going to be there for her. God I'm an
idiot, why couldn't I have just thought things through before acting like a
sulking three year old.
I forgot all of my anger, all of my pain, and went to Nikki. I cuddled her
with as much affection as I could muster. How could I have doubted Nikki?
When I took her in my arms she began to cry. "Oh god, I feel so disgusting
DJ. How could he have done that to me?"
"I know baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions without talking
to you first."
Like a lightning bolt it struck me. "Nikki we've got to get you to a
hospital."
"Wha? Why?"
"My guess is that he wasn't using protection if he did that to you. We
should go and take precautions."
She nodded her head.
Well anyway, you don't need to know what happened at the hospital, but we
came back to my place and I took Nikki up to bed and we laid there together.
I think it was one of the rare moments I'd actually spent the night with a
woman and not had sex. It was a comforting moment. I'm so in love with Nikki
that just spending the night next to her is enough for me. Provided there's
a healthy dose of sex the other nights.
I was silently lying wrapped around Nikki, both lost in our thoughts. I was
actually getting drowsy and knew I wouldn't need much rocking, in order to
get off to sleep.
"Did you mean what you said earlier?" Nikki's voice pulled me back from Nod.
"What part, Baby?" I spoke into her neck.
"The bit about wanting me to move in with you."
I held her tighter. "I would love nothing more, Nik."
"Are you sure, DJ? Cause when you've got me here, it's for keeps." I could
hear her smile.
I rolled Nikki onto her back, my body resting on my right forearm around her
head, and the back of my left hand tracing Nikki's jaw.
"I'll hold you to that." I smiled and leant down to softly kiss her lips.
She moaned softly into the embrace, her hands threading their way through my
hair.
"I love you DJ." Nikki whispered against my lips.
A few more kisses, and I laid back, motioning for Nikki to put her head on
my shoulder. Well, Nikki being Nikki felt the need to possess my body, so
her right arm and leg were thrown over me. I wasn't going anywhere and
that's just the way I want it for a long time yet.

lee_sal@hotmail.com