Lyrics of Monica Chapter 2

I woke up from the feeling of my phone vibrating at my side. I noticed it was Andrea calling me. I also notice that it was six o'clock in the damn morning, and thank God Ny is still sleeping soundly. I ease out of the bed without disturbing Ny and answered the phone.

"Hello?" I say in a very groggy voice.

"Monica?" Andrea asked.

"Yeah it's me, Andrea is something wrong Boo?" I ask worryingly.

"No, I just really missed you and wanted to talk to you. Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but it's cool I needed to get up anyway. So what are you doin' Hun?" I asked as I was brushing my teeth.

"Nothing really, missing you, I didn't know you were an early riser?" she replied.

"Well yeah I have to be, you know my day starts early everyday so I'm set on waking up early even on my day off." I said as I started get my clothes out for the day.

"I'm the same exact way, hey do you want to go out to breakfast with me this morning?" she asked boldly.

"I'm sorry Andrea but I'm afraid I can't. My best friend is here, she spent the night last night and I can't leave her here alone. But look I'm going to get in the shower; can I give you a call back when I get out?" I said sadly.

"Yeah sure, I have to go anyway. Bye."

"Bye." Click.

I hopped in the shower in the guest bedroom so I wouldn't wake Ny. It felt so good; last night was not the ideal way of kickin' it. I really hope Ny doesn't take this break up to bad. I mean truthfully Ny could have anybody she wants in a flash. While I was in the shower I heard my phone buzzing again, but I would be damned if I was going to hop out this shower to answer it. When I finally got out of the shower I took a look at my phone and seen it was Michelle.

Michelle was one of my ex's that did me very wrong. Once again I broke another rule of being a Gay. Don't fall for the Bi's. Most of them are always confused and don't truly want to be gay. I closed my phone and went about my business as if that call didn't even go through. I peeked in my room before going to my guest bedroom to check on Ny. She was still sleeping peacefully. After I got dress it was about seven o'clock, so I decided to get started on breakfast. I know everybody loves a good home cooked breakfast on a Saturday morning. I put some smooth jazz on low and got to cooking. When the morning eighteen jams were done I had cooked sausage, eggs with cheese, pancakes, fried potatoes, and grits. But I was missing one thing, Ny.

So I went to the bedroom and kissed Ny on the cheek softly until I seen a smile form on her face.

"Good morning Beautiful! How you feelin'?" I asked softly.

"I'm good Mami, did you cook?" She asked curiously.

"Yup! So get ya ass up Boo! I'll wait for you in the dining room!" I said as I playfully punched her in the arm. While Ny was in the bathroom I heard her cell phone ringing. Now I'm not one to answer other people phone, but when I seen who it was I had to.

"Hello." I said with a major attitude.

"Yo who this?" The voice on the other end replied back.

"This Monica, and what the fuck you want with Ny? Don't you think you done already did enough fuckin' damage? Look how about we make this as easy as possible so nobody gets hurt ok? Just stay the fuck away from Ny'airah. If I catch you anywhere near her, so help me God that'll be the last day you walk on this muthafuckin' earth. Iight, this conversation is over." Click.

I deleted Antonio's number and the call that just occurred. When Ny came out of the bathroom I simply handed her the phone and told her to get a block on her phone.

"Oh and I don't care what he says or tries to do, stay away from him and don't go back to him." I said. She didn't say anything back, so I told her to come on before the food gets cold. We ate breakfast in peace. It was actually nice, we laughed most of the time. But Ny hurt me when she said she had to leave after breakfast. I barely got to spend anytime with her while she was over. I was planning to at least spend half of today with her. But I understood due to what happened last night. After breakfast I did the dishes and by time I was done Ny was packed and ready to leave.

"When do I get to see you again?" I asked sadly.

"I don't know Shell. I was goin' to ask to come back over later but you got plans with Andrea." She said in a disappointing manner.

"How do you know about that? And I'll cancel them right now." I replied quickly.

"No Shell, you need to go out and have some fun. I'll just catch up with you when you get back." She said.

"How about you come with us!" I asked cheerfully.

"Shell no, now look just call me when you get home okay?" She said as she hugged me.

"Oh alright." I replied sadly.

"Alright, now I want you to have fun! And no drinking `cause I know you driving. I'll see you lata." She said as she picked her bags up. "Well at least let me walk you to ya ugly ass car!" I said as I laughed.

She put her angry face on and said,

"Excuse me, but don't be talkin' about my most prized possession. It looks better than both of ya ugly ass rides!" She said as we headed to the garage.

"Yeah what ever! Both of my cars would dust your piece of shit!" I said as I kicked her tired then laughed.

"Oh nah you took it to far and now I'm goin' to kick ya ass!" She said as she pushed me. I grabbed her and held her for quite a minute.

"Te amo Ny!" I said as I laughed.

"Man! Why do you always laugh when you speak Spanish in front of me?" She asked as she spun around to face me.

"Do you remember in middle school when I used to always tell I never felt comfortable speaking Spanish around you because you made fun of my accent?"

"You mean to tell me that you still not comfortable after twelve years?" She said as she raised her right eyebrow.

"Yup!" I said laughing at her gesture.

"On that note I'm going to go. I'll call when I get home Mami." She said as she kissed me on my cheek.

"Iight, and you better not forget. Love you Beautiful!"

"Te amo tambien!" she replied before I closed her car door. I watched her pull off then closed the garage door. I went back in the house to look for something to wear out tonight with Andrea. Then I realized I had over ten hours to decide what I wanted to wear. So there was no need to rush things. I picked up the phone and called my big sister Nicole.

"Hello!" My niece answered cheerfully.

"Hey Imani! How are you baby?" I asked happily.

"Hey aunty! I'm good, still wondering when you're goin to take me shoppin' again." She asked with a little attitude.

"Lil' girl, first of all I am not taking you nowhere with you gettin' smart. Now where is ya mutha at?" I said sarcastically.

"Hold on aunty she coming." She said while laughing.

"Look Mony your goin' to stop harassing my daughter!" My sister said through all the laughter.

"Hey she got smart with me first! Look I'm coming to take them shoppin' today iight?" I said with authority.

"But Mony you just took them shopping a month ago." She said.

"Nicky that was then, and this is now!" I said with a little attitude.

"Plus I'm going out tonight so I need to find an outfit anyway! Iight, I'll be there in like an hour so make sure they're ready!" I said firmly.

"Don't get smart, remember who's older. And iight they'll be ready. Bye!"

"Bye girl!" Click.

After I hung up the phone with my sister I decided to leave right then because I needed to stop by the bank. When I got in my Range I had forgot I didn't have any gas in it. "Fuck!" I said to myself. When I started the car Danity Kane's Poetry blasted from the speakers. I started to sing and pulled away, when I got to the gas station I decided to fill it up. This ran me about eighty damn dollars. That made me change my mind about going to the bank first because then I would have to double back to get Imani and Tavon. I made it to my sister's house in about twenty minutes, and to my surprise Imani and Tavon was ready. They greeted me with hugs and kisses and hopped in the car.

I laughed because they didn't even say bye to their mother. I yelled to Nicole that we were leaving and hopped in the car. I put in Trey Songz latest CD and pulled off.

"Look I already know I don't have enough money for the both of you so I got to stop by the bank. And Tavon you know better, put on ya damn seatbelt on." I said as I looked in my rear view mirror at them.

"Aunty?" Imani said.

"Yes Sweety?" I said kindly.

"What happened to your last girlfriend Jasmine?" She said curiously.

"Uh, Jasmine and I just didn't get along to well. So we decided to part ways." I lied.

After I said that we all sung Wonder Woman until we got to the bank. I always had a problem with living kids in the car; even though Tavon was fifteen I still didn't feel right. So I made them get out with me and stand with me at the ATM. I decided to get out a thousand, due to the fact that all of us were shopping. After the bank, we made our way to St. Charles Mall. I already knew what store they were going to yell first, Up Against The Wall. When I was done shopping with them I had spent damn near one thousand five hundred.

That made me almost want to cry. Then they had the nerve to ask me can we go to Red Lobster. I took them rascals to McDonald's and called it a day. After I dropped Tae and Mani off I said to myself "What in the hell was I thinkin' young!" I laughed about this shit all the way back home.

When I pulled up to my garage I seen two people I definitely wasn't prepared for at my door. Mama and Madre (Mrs. Ortiz). I got out and tried to get all of my shopping bags out of the car. And of course they just stood there and watched me struggle with all my bags.

"I would help you, but I know you ain't got a damn thing for me." Madre said.

I laughed so hard and handed her my keys to open the front door.

"Hi to the both of you too." I said sarcastically.

"Girl just `cause you twenty-seven don't mean you still can't get ya ass beat, so don't be gettin` smart." Mama said as she closed the door.

"Sorry, hey what yall doin'! You know I don't allow shoes on my floors. I just got them buffed and shined. And what are yall doin' here? I thought yall were goin' Miami this weekend?" I said as I threw my bags on the island in my kitchen.

"We were but ya mutha chickened out on flying again." Madre said as she rolled her eyes at my mom. I looked at my mom and clenched my jaw before I said something I would get smacked for.

"Mama you mean to tell me, I spent all that money on them first class plane tickets, and Ny booked that bomb hotel, and yall didn't even go."

"Oh no-no-no, NeeSee you will not blame all of this on me. Little miss thing right here had a hang over this mornin' and didn't want to get up. So when she told me that I said good `cause I didn't want to fly anyway." Mama said as she looked at Madre. My phone rang and it was just who I needed to speak to.

"Hello" I said giggling.

"Hey Mami, have you talked to Madre or Mama?" Ny asked.

"Ny I'm looking right at them, they were here when I pulled up. Do you know they wasted our hard earned money? They didn't even go on the damn trip!" Mama looked at me funny so I corrected myself and said darn.

"Are you fucking serious? Hey they can't hear me can they?" Ny asked quietly.

"Nah, which isn't right. `Cause I'm highly upset young. I had to do so much for them to get them seats on that plane. And the money you spent on the hotel was just ridiculous for them to waste." I said angrily.

"Shell I got one thing to say, NEVER AGAIN." Ny yelled into the phone.

"You ain't lying Honey. But look I'm bout to start gettin' ready, so I'm going to call you later." I said still angry at the situation.

"Iight Mami, tell Madre to call me, and have fun Mami! Bye."

"Okay bye!" Click.

I looked at the two of them still very upset at the situation.

"Mony where you `pose to be goin' tonight?" Mama said with a concerned look on her face.

"Just out with a friend." I replied.

"From what I hear, it's not just a friend thing. She's goin' out with Andrea." Madre said while folding her arms. My mom looked at her and then looked at me and said, "Who in the hell is that?"

"You remember April Aparicio?" Madre said to my mama.

"Yeah?" Mama replied back.

"Her daughter Andrea." Madre said.

"Okay well look no disrespect to either of you, but I need to start gettin' ready. So can you to come back some other time please?" I said pleadingly.

"Mmmhmm. Come on girl so Miss Thang can get ready." Mama said.

"Thank you. I love you both dearly. Oh and Madre Ny said to call her ASAP!" I said before I winked and shut the front door.

"Gosh those two is a hand full I swear!" I said to myself.

Now that them two was gone it was time for me to get my shit together. First I looked at all of the things I bought so I could decide what I actually wanted to wear. I didn't want to seem too thuggish and uncivilized, but I also wanted to be myself. So I decided to wear these ripped and faded True Religions, which had just the right amount of bagginess. A plain black v-neck t-shirt with a black and white Ed Hardy zip-up hoody. For the finishing touch my black and white Creative Recreations, my silver rosary, iREP fitted, and my black Prada sunglasses. I didn't want to be to colorful like I normally am so I kept it simple with black and white.

I was so glad I decided to get my hair redone on Thursday instead of Sunday. That would have fucked the whole flow up, fresh ass clothes with nappy ass cornrows. That just doesn't click at all. I ironed all my shit and then got in the shower. The one thing I can't stand is going out without getting in the shower. I don't know if it was just a personal thing, but I just don't feel presentable without a shower. After I got out of the shower I started to get dress, and which didn't surprise me, my phone rung.

It was Michelle once again, and I refused to get it. By time I was done getting dress it was seven fifty. Perfect timing I thought to myself. I put my hat on, grabbed my phone off of the charger and keys and went to the garage. I stood there for a good five minutes trying to decide if I wanted to drive the Range or Mclaren. I didn't want to drive the Range because it burned gas like hell, and I didn't want to drive the Mclaren because I didn't want Andrea to think I was big headed. I said to hell with that and got in the Mclaren. I press the button to open the garage and back out to Andrea's house.

"That was fun!" I said to myself laughing. I knocked on her door and waited patiently. She had me standing there for a good three minutes, and just as I was about to walk away and say fuck it she opened the door. I was amazed, she was astonishing! I was caught in a daze until she broke the glare with a hi.

"Hey, you look amazing boo!" I said as I smiled.

"Thanks, damn you look good to! You want to skip going out and just go straight to my room?" She asked jokingly.

"With the way you look that would be a good idea!" I said as I laughed,

I put out my hand for her to grab and we walked to the car. I opened her door like the perfect "gentleman". As I was closing the door I recapped how good she looked. She had on these just fitting Red Monkey jeans with a slim fighting red Black Label shirt. Her hair was half in half out, which showed her matching earrings, and brought out the red in her Nikes. I know this sounds basic, but with all of the curves Andrea had it was unbelievable. When I got in the car I realized she had already put in Wisin y Yandel's Los Extraterrestres cd. Usually I had a problem with people touching my radio, but for some reason I didn't mind.

"So where are we headed to tonight Beautiful?" I asked as I smiled.

"I was thinking about going to that new Reggaeton nightclub they just opened up in D.C." She said as she skipped through songs.

"Oh you are talking about ummm La Musica Loca?" I asked.

"I think that's what it's called?" She replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Can you turn it back to number two please?" I said as I pulled out.

"Claro que si, baby." She said as she changed it to the song.

The ride there was pretty much silent, besides the fact that she sung and rapped every got damn song on that cd. I swear I've never laughed so hard in my life. She was really into it, I could tell tonight was going to be a lot of fun! When we got to the club it was packed, the line was all the way down the block. Luckily I knew the bouncer Charlene, so she let us straight in. As soon as we got in the club my shades fogged up and my ears popped. They were blasting Don Omar's Conteo. This made Andrea grab me immediately and pull me to the dance floor. It threw my off guard making me drop my glasses. Once I picked them up and caught up to Andrea it was on. Andrea was grinding so hard, I thought I was going to loose my mind. This girl could dance her ass off, it was crazy, but I loved it! We danced to about six songs straight before I asked her did she want a drink. She shook her head yes and followed me to the bar. I ordered her a Remy and ginger ale and an iced tea for me. As we were drinking she told me she was going to go to the bathroom really quick. I shook my head in agreement and stayed at the bar. As I looked over the club, I realized it was cool how everybody was bobbing in synch. Well there were a few off beat but it was still cool! I swear I'm such a loser.

When Andrea came back the D.J. started to play Una Noche Mas by Wisin y Yandel, which was right on point. Andrea grabbed me once again and we were at for the second time. She had me hypnotized, I couldn't think straight at all. This girl definitely knew what she was doing. As we were dancing I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around and it was Ny! I was so surprised!

"Yo what you doin' here!" I yelled over the music.

"I needed to get out, and I heard about this place opening so I decided to check it out!" She yelled back.

"I'm glad you came! Now dance with me!" I said as I grabbed her hand.

The song had just changed to El Tra by Tito El Bambino and Ny and I was dancing like there was no tomorrow. Sooner or later we were the center of attention. Everybody had formed this huge circle around us, and we loved the spotlight! I had forgotten all about Andrea, and when I realized about her I looked around a little bit before spotting her directly in front of us. She had her arms folded and kept rolling her eyes. I could tell she was upset, but I couldn't just leave Ny. She was doing the damn thing and we both were having fun so why ruin it? Plus she was looking fine as hell. Andrea didn't have shit on her! I would've married her right on the spot, that's exactly how good she looked! I guess Ny noticed Andrea and she told me to go back with my date. I was highly upset but I didn't want disrespect Andrea knowing I came her with her.

I tried to grab Andrea and pull her back to the dance floor, but she snatched away from me and walked away. I ran after her until she finally stopped by the bathroom doors where it was quieter at.

"Why did you pull away from me like that? What's wrong?" I asked as I looked in her eyes.

"Because you came here with me, and then I turn my back for one second and you all up on some other girl." She yelled at me in rage.

"Babe, if you didn't notice. That girl was Ny'airah." I said as I pointed to her at the bar.

"Aye Dios Mios, los siento. I didn't know it was her, her hat was so low I couldn't see her face." She said pleadingly.

"It's cool babe, and I'm sorry for just leaving you there without me telling you I was going to dance with her." I apologized.

"It's okay, look I see my friend over there, I'm goin' to go and talk to her." She as she pointed to some broad.

"Iight, I'm goin' back to dance with Ny. Just grab me when you ready for me." I said as I walked away.

As I made my way back to Ny, once again I realized how good she looked. Those jeans on her were just captivating. Her whole outfit was just banging. She had on some True's something like mine, but the female version. Which were definitely the right pick, because they hugged Ny's curves perfectly. She also had on a slim fitting black Ed Hardy t-shirt, which had quite a selection of colors on it. To finish everything off, she had on some Onitsuka Tigers, which had all the same colors as her shirt with a matching Ed Hardy hat. Baby Girl was really doing the damn thing until I noticed she had on my damn chain. That bitch stay borrowing my shit without asking! I walked up to her from behind and said,

"Yeah it's cool if you borrow my chain!" She turned around and starting laughing.

"I swear I was going to ask but I forgot!" She said as she motioned me to the bar.

"Young I know you not drinking knowing damn well you driving?" I asked angrily.

"Te amo!" She yelled trying to change the subject.

"Yeah I love you to, that's why I'm driving you home tonight." I said still angry at the fact she was drinking.

"Young I'm ready to bounce anyway, stay here I'm going to find Andrea and give her my keys. DON'T MOVE." I said firmly.

She nodded her head in agreement and I went to find Andrea. When I found her she was tonguing down her so called "friend". I was furious, how in the fuck she going to ask me out to a club, and then I find her swapping spit with another broad. Luckily I didn't feel like dealing with the drama tonight so I just walked away. I went back to the bar to grabbed Ny and was out. I seen Charlene again and told her to take my car home with her tonight and I would pick it up tomorrow. Charlene was trusting and responsible so it was cool.

"Where you park at baby?" I asked Ny as she handed me her keys.

"By that sign." She said as she pointed.

We walked over to the car and I opened her door like the perfect "gentleman" once again. Ny wasn't drunk but I really didn't want her to drive knowing she's had even just a few drinks. It bothered the hell out of me, as we were on our way home my phone rung.

"Who this?" I said not recognizing the number.

"It's Andrea. Did you leave me?" She said with tension in her voice.

"Yup." I said nonchalantly.

"Por que?" She asked.

"You got some nerve to ask me why. Andrea I seen you tonguing down your so called friend. And don't sit here and fucking lie to me. I saw the shit with my own fucking eyes. That was some wrongful shit, but that's okay `cause I've learned to forgive and forget. And guess what?

"Que?" She replied.

"This is one of the first steps to forgetting." Click.

I threw my phone in the back seat and continued driving like nothing had ever happened. I knew Ny was going to say something sooner or later, but to my surprise she didn't. Something definitely wasn't right, Ny was always first to jump when a female fucked me over. I looked over at her concerned to see if she would say anything. And once again to my surprise she didn't.

"Do you want me to drop you off at home and I'll call my brother to come and get me? Or do you want to just stay at my house tonight?" I asked as I turned onto 210 highway.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" She asked as she finally turned to look at me.

"Yeah I wouldn't mind the company right about now. Ny are you okay?" I asked.

"No, I`m mad as hell." She replied back.

"Por que?" I asked concerned.

"Because you didn't tell me you saw Andrea with some other chick. Tu sabes I would've beat the fuck out of her." She yelled at me.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. That's last thing you needed, to be was in jail over Andrea." I said as I turned into Simmons Acres.

"Man that's not fair! First you didn't let me fight Jasmine sheisty ass, and now Andrea." Ny said with an angry voice.

"Awww you'll be iight!" I replied sarcastically as I pulled into my garage.

As I put the car in park I asked Ny did she pack an emergency bag, and she informed me it was in the trunk. I hopped out to get her bag then opened her door and lead her in the house. She went to my room to get into the shower while I went in the guest room as always. As I was in the shower I recapped on everything that had happened tonight. Which pissed me off all over again, I really thought Andrea and I would make it. I guess it wasn't meant to be.
When I got out of the shower and got dressed I went downstairs to check my missed calls and messages. I only had one which was from Imani and Tavon thanking me for the clothes. After that I realized I wasn't sleepy at all so I curled up the couch and watched Love and Basketball. I always watched that movie when something wasn't going right in my love life. About five minutes later Ny came in and laid with me, we were both curled and tangled up with each other for about an hour. Until we heard a knock at the door, I had an idea who it was. And just my luck it was Andrea, I didn't answer the door. I told Ny I was going upstairs and for her to just come up when she was ready. I also threw in that she better not get the door or I was going to beat her ass personally. When I got upstairs and laid down it felt so good. Just as I was about to fall asleep I felt Ny slip her arm around me. It was weird because I didn't even hear her come in the room.

"Love you Ny." I said half asleep.

"Love you too Shell." She replied back.

Girl turn me up and let me come through your speakers blow the sound out of your tweeters. I heared as Mario's Music for Love blared from my phone. I glanced at my alarm clock and see that it's four in the fucking morning. I don't think I've ever been so mad in my damn life. I had only been asleep for three fucking hours, and already my phone's ringing.

"Hello" I say without even looking at the damn caller id.

"Hey Monica!" A happy voice yells.

"Young who is this?" I asked very irritated.

"It's Jandra!" She basically yells.

"Young do you know what fucking time it is? Have you lost your mind calling me this fucking early in the morning? Don't ever do this shit again unless your life is in danger." I yelled furiously.

"Yo I'm sorry. Que te pasa? I've called you so many times around this time. What's the deal with you?" She said in a confused tone.

"Look I'm sorry Alejandra, last night was just not my night. So much unexpected shit happened. It was ridiculous. I'm really sorr-" I tried to get out before Ny snatched my phone and hung it up.

"Hey what was that all about?" I asked as I looked at her curiously.

"Don't be apologizing to her, she ain't worth it. Now go back to sleep." She replied before she turned off my phone. I was tired as hell so I wasn't going to argue with her. It was so funny because I was so damn sleepy, but couldn't fall back asleep. So I just laid there recapping last nights events. Everything was going so great until I seen Andrea with that other broad. It pissed me off all over again, how could that bitch invite me out and then end up with some other broad? That thought confirmed I was done with the dating scene. I glanced at my clock again and seen that two damn hours had passed already. I knew I wasn't going to go back to sleep so I just got up. I needed a hot relaxing bubble bath, just to wash all the stress away. I ran a steaming hot bath, lit some candles, turned on some smooth jazz, and relaxed. The water felt so good it released all the tension I had as soon as I hit the water. About thirty minutes later I was out and getting dress. As I was getting dress I had just remembered that today was the last day of my vacation. Fuck I didn't want to go back to work tomorrow, it seemed like I didn't get any rest on my time off.

After I got dress and what not I just decided to watch some television. I had no appetite and wasn't in the mood for cooking. I felt like I was nothing, like I didn't have any emotions running through me at all. It was crazy because Andrea and I weren't even dating, so why was I tripping? It's too late to apologize, it's to late...

"Hello" I say in an exhausted tone.

"Monica TaShell Gray." Somebody replies in an angry tone.


"I swear we're not cool anymore, how come you never have time to pick up the phone and call your best friend anymore? I thought you loved me?" Nikki says even angrier.

"Nikki I'm sorry. I've been meaning to call you, it's just a lot has been going on lately."

"It's iight, I feel you, and I heard what happened with Andrea and you." She said with tension in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm not really worried about her."

"Mony?" Nikki said suspiciously.

"Yeah boo?" I said concerned.

"Open the door."

I ran to my front door and swung it open, and there she was looking fine as hell. I always had a thing for Nikki but I didn't let it show. I knew if we were to start dating, and something was to happen it would fuck our friendship up.

"Nikki!" I yelled as I gave her the biggest hug. I missed Nikki terribly; I hadn't seen her in over a month and a half. Just to be in her arms relaxed me and let all the tension loose.

"I missed you so much girl! I thought it would be a good idea to surprise you!" She said as she kissed me, on the mouth? That caught me off guard terribly, but I didn't fight it. I just went along with it, after a minute or two I finally pulled back. We just stood there staring at each other until she made a move. We started kissing again and made our way to the couch. It was crazy; I never thought Nikki had feelings for me. When we fell on the couch I finally realized something.

"Stop, we can't." I said a little out of breath.

"Why not? Monica I've been wanting you every since we met. I can't take it anymore."

"Nikki, Ny'Airah is upstairs in my room." I said as I gave her a worried look.

"Why is it that you always spending more time with her? Why is it that when I asked to spend the night you always say no? Why is it that if I want to see you, I have to pop up uninvited? Is she replacing me or something?" Nikki said with anger.

"Nikki you know it's not like that. Ny was at the club last night too. And she was drinking and I didn't want her to drive home knowing she's been drinking. I swear I was going to call you as soon as I got home, but since what happened, happened, I just went to sleep. I'm sorry, look I'm off next weekend; I promise we'll spend Friday to Sunday together." I said as I moved closer to her.

"You promise Mony?"

"I promise Nicole" I said as I hugged her.

"Oh by the way Charlene called and told me she had your car. Do you want me to take you to get it?"

"No, I can get Ny to take me later."

"No, let me take you. I don't have anything planned today anyway. Please?"

"But, alright, let me go tell Ny."

"Iight I'll be in the car." She said as she leaned in for a kiss.

When she walked out of the door reality hit me, she kissed me. Hold on kissed me is an understatement, she tongued me down. And the crazy thing was I didn't even fight it, Nikki and I needed to talk ASAP. After I ran upstairs to tell Ny that Nikki was taking me to get my car, I left. It was quiet the first ten minutes in the car. I didn't know what to say? Nikki is the type of person where you had to choose your words very carefully with. She gets so offended easily, so I took that time to sort my thoughts out.

"How come you never told me how you felt about me?" I blurted out.

"Because Mony I knew how you felt about Ny." She simply replied.

"What? What are you talking about?" I said dumb founded.

"Mony I'm not blind, anybody can tell how you feel about her. The way you look at her, talk about her, and treat her. It's obvious and plain to see that you have feelings for her." She said without looking at me.

"You know what; I'm not even going to deny it. Yes, I do have feelings for Ny. But I'm through chasing a dream and fantasy."

"So you mean to tell me that you don't like Ny anymore?" She asked while laughing.

"I don't find shit funny, and yes I am." I said as I folded my arms.

"Alright we'll see how long this will last."

Thank god we were at Charlene's because I was about to give this bitch everything she came for. She had pissed me off terribly, so I decided to hop out of her car before I said something I'll have to apologize later on for. She kept calling my name, but I kept walking like I didn't hear her. Next thing you know I felt her wrap her arms around me. It felt so good I had forgotten what I was even mad at her about.

"Mony I'm sorry if I offended you. It's just that I really want to be with you, every since the fifth grade when we met your all I could ever think about. I would go with other girls to get you off of my mind, but as you can see it didn't help." She said sincerely.

"What ever Nikki, let me go." I said as I pushed her off of me.

"You've been doing this shit since the fifth grade. You say or do something totally wrong, and then try to sweet talk your way out of it. I don't want to hear it this time." I said as I knocked on Charlene's door, and waited for her to open it.

"Hey Mony, is everything okay?" Charlene asked concernedly as she glanced behind me at Nikki.

"Yeah Boo, everything's great. Look thank you so much for taking my car home last night. I really appreciate it; we both know if I would have left it in D.C. it would have been striped or gone." I said as I gave her a hundred dollar bill.

"Mony I'm not going to take your money. All of the times you've helped me when I was in need, girl don't even worry about it." She said as she handed me my car keys.

"Alright, look I got to go. I'm going to call you later; I really got to talk to you about something. Thanks once again!"

When I turned around and seen Nikki I was mad all over again.

"Don't follow me back home, I'll call you when I'm ready." I said as I walked past her without even looking at her. Nikki always managed to piss me off every time I was in her presence. And I always forgave her every single time, but not this time. I decided I would let her rot in guilt for a little bit. And just wait to see how long it would take her to call me. As I was on my way home I happened to glance at my gas hand. I only had a quarter tank of gas; no wonder Charlene didn't accept my money! I laughed so hard, she gets me every time! I didn't feel like going to the gas station right now so I just kept on driving home. When I pulled up Andrea was at my front door. As I pulled into the driveway I prayed to myself that Ny didn't hear the door. That was the last thing I needed was for them two to be fighting. So I quickly got out of the car to greet Andrea, well not so much as greet more like curse out.

"Andrea I'm not for it today, just make it easier for the both of us and leave please." I said as I walked to my front door to let myself in. As I put the key in Ny opened the door. It scared me a little making me jump. After realizing the look on Ny's face which was the `I'm about to beat your ass' look I immediately grabbed her. Andrea would have been through if I didn't have Ny in such a tight grip. I managed to shut the door while holding Ny back.

"Ny chill, calm down boo."

"Dammit Shell, I just want to talk to her." She said as she tried to go back out the door.

"Yeah, and I'm suddenly straight! Girl go sit down somewhere!" I said as I pushed her towards the couch.

"Was your car all good?"

"Besides the fact that my tank is empty, yeah it's cool. Ny I need to talk to you about what happened between Nikki and me." I said as I sat beside her.

"Did she hit you?" She asked as she stood up.

"No! You know I would have beaten the hell out of her. But anyway, she kissed me." I said as I looked up at her confused.

"Wow, what did you do?"

"I-I-kissed her back." I said stuttering a little bit.

"So you have feelings for her?"

"Yes, I`ve always had feelings for her. Every since the fifth grade to be exact." I said as I went to the kitchen to make some coffee. Ny didn't really say anything, it was like she was in a state of shock.

"Well?" I said.

"I mean, if you like her then yeah."

"Then yeah? That's the best you could give me was `then yeah'?" I said looking at her dumbly.

"What do you want me to say? I don't know what to tell you besides if you like her then, be with her!"

"Hmm, I don't know. But anyway what do you have planned for today?" I asked as crossed my arms and waited for the coffee to finish.

"Nothing, I don't go back to work until Tuesday! So I got a whole extra day to sit back!"

"You lucky S.O.B! I don't want to go back for nothing tomorrow!"

"Call out, so we can go shopping."

"I can't do that! Not after I just took a three day leave." I said as I walked back to the couch with my coffee.

"Then shut up and stop complaining." She replied back sarcastically.

I sat my coffee down on the table and laid my head in Ny's lap. I was so tired, I tried to hold on but I drifted off to sleep. It wasn't even ten minutes before my cell rung. It was just who I thought it would be, Nikki. I didn't even feel like dealing with her so I just pressed the silent button.

"Who was that?" Ny asked.

" Nikki." I said as I sat up and picked my coffee up to throw away. I knew exactly what was coming next.

"Why didn't you get the phone?"

"I don't know, I just don't feel like talking to her I guess?" I said trying not to sound mad. I really didn't want to touch this situation with Ny. But being the type of person Ny is; she definitely wasn't going to leave me alone until she pried it out of me. So I thought to myself, to avoid an argument why not just tell her?

"Look Ny, we just got into a little disagreement. That's all, nothing more, nothing less." I said as I walked to my bedroom. Of course I knew she would follow me, so I prepared for the questions.

"What you mean a little disagreement? What happened? How you gon' try to tell me a part of the story and not all of it? Shell tell me what happened or I will call Nikki personally." Ny said as serious as a heart attack. I sat down on the bed. Then motioned for her to sit because I know I would have to thoroughly explain what happened. I told her everything that went down. From the time Nikki called me to the time I walked away with my car keys. I couldn't read Ny's facial expression. She looked hurt, but mad at the same time.

"Well?" I asked confusingly.

"I think it's time for me to go." Ny said as she stood up.

"Wait, why? Ny what's wrong? Where are you going?" I said chasing after her as she started to walk away. I could tell she was crying from the way she kept wiping her eyes, although I couldn't see her face. What went wrong, and why was she crying?

"Ny'airah wait." I said while grabbing her arm. She pulled away from me violently. I knew I had hurt her in some way. I also had a feeling about what hurt her, and what was going to end up happening next.

"I'm just a dream and a fantasy now?" She managed to say through the tears. I looked down at the ground before replying with:

"Ny, it wasn't like that. It's just your not gay, I am. And I need to get that through my head and let you go intimately. I didn't mean to hurt you in anyway. I'm so sorry, the last thing I want to do is make you cry. I know you've been through a lot these past days especially with Antonio." I said while holding her hand. I was truly sorry; I didn't mean to hurt her at all. Ny just nodded in agreement and continued to walk to the door. I didn't want her to go, but I could see I truly hurt her. Ny left without saying anything, could I have just lost my best friend and the love of my life?