Date: Tue, 7 Jun 2005 14:52:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: LC
Subject: That's Highschool/ part one

this story isn't for anyone under the age of 18!!! so don't read it if
you're younger ok?!


To some kids highschool goes by too slow but for me it went by too fast.
If i could i'd trade anything just to go back to those years but now i'm
in college at UCLA living a wonderful life yet my mind always brings me
back to Highschool.  My name is Cindy and I'm about 5'6, black short
hair, tanish, brown eyes, athetlic build. I was the one who was friends
with everyone even though you could label me the punk/scenster kid. Music
is my life and ever since 8th grade i've been playing the drums, the
bass, the piano and the guitar and i've been in a band since then too.
Anyways, I grew up in Tucson, AZ and once it was time for me to leave i
felt like i had to escape town due to what happened.

There i was a sophmore and everything was going perfect until she walked
into my life. Her name was Nicole. She was a senior at the time, brown
hair, blue eyes, very atheltic yet she was also the girly girl. Her and i
didn't really talk for the first part of the year but at a local show i
noticed her and asked a few friends if they knew her. I came to find out
she went to church with one of my best friends. So as the months passed i
slowly began to hang out with her and before I knew it we were best
friends.

"Cindy, what are you thinking about? You seem like something is wrong."
Nicole said.

"oh i'm just thinking about school and stuff..." I said this trying to
throw her off but really i was thinking about her... I mean i realized
how amazing she was and how much i liked her but at the same time i knew
she'd never go for me..she's straight so i had to move on.

As a few weeks passed we didnt talk as much but when we'd see each other
around school we wouldnt say anything to each other either. every once in
awhile I'd look up and see her looking at me and i'd notice that whenever
we would talk she'd get mad or upset whenever i'd mention someone was
cute. My best friends amber, alexis, breanna, stephanie and sierra knew i
was gay and they knew i had liked nicole but they also noticed how odd
she had been acting lately. Amber (the one who went to the same church)
one day asked nicole if everything was okay with her and i. Nicole looked
at amber and looked like she wanted to cry but then got up and ran
off...so after these weird incidents i thought i should just tell her how
i feel for her.

I had it all planned out and there we were acting like the old friends we
were but before i knew it it was time. We were outside her house as i was
about to drop her off when i said, "nicole, can we talk please?"

"Um okay...are you alright?"

"yea, i'm fine it's just listen...i've been meaning to tell you this for
a long time but you mean alot to me...not just as friends but I like
you."

There was a moment when we just looked into each others eyes and nothing
was said.

" Wow Cindy...I mean i don't know what to say..You know I like boys and i
mean just wow...well at least im happy you told me because that means a
lot to me..." she said this and then gave me a hug and walked off. I
never have been that confused in my life before. As days went on we
drifted apart again and I relaized i had to move on.

It was around the month of April when i met this girl sara. She was
wonderful and everything I had wanted yet i still thought of Nicole
sometimes. Sara was about 5"7, tanish, black long hair, i mean she was
the hollister sort girl. Anyways we started to date and it was really fun
being with her because she'd make me so happy. How i found she liked me
was when her and I were up at this place that showed all of the city's
lights. we were sitting in my car talking about everything when the topic
of being gay came up. She knew I was gay so it wasn't that difficult for
me to talk about it.

"Cindy, what's it like to kiss a girl?" Sara said.

"Hmm well kissing a guy is fun and what not but when you're kissing a
girl, well at least for me, there's way more passion and it's not all
about the lust."

After i said that there was a few moments of silence but i really didnt
care...nothing bothered me that much so oh well.

" Cindy, would you kiss me?" Sara said this and i was shocked as all
hell.

"wait...i mean are you sure?" I said

Sara just nodded her head and then i turned to face her when she began to
lean in.
I put one hand on the back of her head nad just gave her a few little
kisses at first but then that escalated to more passionate kisses. I
thought this would barely last but before i realized it we were making
out for a ver long time. In the middle of this though she backed up and
said, "i could see why your gay" and then we went back to kissing.
Minutes later she was on top of me and everything kept moving faster and
faster. Soon we were in the back of my car with her on top of me kissing
every part of me. I just couldn't believe this was happening though. The
hottest girl in school was doing this with me. Well soon i was on top and
i went from her lips to her stomache and then i slowly pished away her
pants and underwear. I looked up to see if she wanted this and she just
gave me a nod. Sure enough i began to lick the insides of sara and within
minutes she began to moan louder and louder. Once she reached her point i
went back up and we just layed there smiling at each other. We probably
stayed in that spot for a few hours.

After that night it was offical that sara and I were going out. At school
we werent the couple to hold hands and be flammers but everybody knew we
were dating. If you saw me then you saw sara right next to me. Everywhere
we went though it was us two. All of our friends were comfortable with it
which was kickass. Only one person seemed to be affected by it
though..guess who that was. Yeah, Nicole.

One night sara and I went to a mini golf place with some friends but this
place had arcade games inside, a laser tag building, golf carts and what
not. Well Nicole was and is still friends with some of my best buddies
but i guessed nicole was invited to hang out with us that night yet i
wasnt warned of this and neither was she. So there was sara and I playing
minature golf when everyone came otuside to meet us. Along with our
friends was nicole. She looked hella shocked to see me especially with
sara and I holding hands.

"Hey cindy and sara, you fools ready for a game of laser tag?!" amber
said this and then grabbed us to go follow everyone else.

Once we got to the laser tag place i just threw out the fact that nicole
was there and still wanted to have fun with sara. Well as we were playing
laser tag which is in a three story building with all the lights off
except for black lights and there were also fog machines so of course its
hard to see people right? Well i guess not. Sara and i were in one of the
corner watching out for people and we realized it had got boring so being
the kinky couple we are we began to make out since we thought nobody
could see us. We were wrong, nicole walked right into that room. Sara was
only embarassed but i was worried. That whole night nicole wouldnt talk
to me. With my luck though i had to drop off amber, nicole and sara. Well
i thought to myself that nicole should be the last one so that i can talk
to her.

"nicole, im soooooo sorry about earlier tonight."

"yeah, it's okay cindy i mean at least you've moved on."

"Well look you didn't like me right? what was I suppose to do?" I said
this with some attitude though because it was the truth.

"whatever cindy...I'll talk to you later" she said as she was getting out
of my car. I couldn't just let her walk away though so i ran up to her
and pulled her arm back.

"Nicole listen, you knew damn well i liked you and you didnt do anything
so dont blame me for this!"

Nicole turned around and just looked at me. Suddenly she leaned in and
kissed me. I was all too shocked with what was going on...i couldnt let
go though, i mean this was the girl of my dreams finally giving in. Yet
when i let go she just turned around and walked off. Ever since that
night sara could tell something was up with me.  I never told sara about
that night because i assumed it was a one time thing...was i wrong...

Spring break came and  amber, alexis, stephanie, breanna and I were going
to go to mexico for five days. I invited sara but she was going to
florida with the family.

"Hey babe, i'm going to miss you soooooooooooooooo much!" sara said over
the phone.

"god i know, i'm gonna miss you too! I'll bring you something back from
mexico though okay? But listen i have to go because the girls are here, i
love you though!" I said.

"I love you too!!!!!" sara said.

I hung up the phone, grabbed my bags and everything i needed and headed
outside. When i got their i noticed breanna wasn't with the group and
instead nicole was there. Shit i thought to myself.

"Hey amber, where's breanna?" I said.

"Oh she couldnt go due to her parents but I invited Nicole if that's
cool?" Amber said

"oh yea, totally. So are we ready to go?" I said.

Hours passed as we drove to mexico but when we finally got to our condo i
was tired as shit. Everyone wanted to drink so they went out and came
home around 11 piss ass drunk. I couldnt help but laugh though because
the things they were saying were funny as hell. I mean one friend was
talking about the pope when another was laughing about HIV. If you were
there you'd understand.

Nicole was buzzed but was being very quiet.

"Nicole, you didn't drink like the others? What's up with that?!" I said

" Nope." Is all she said.

An hour passed by when everyone was on the floor sleeping except for
nicole. Her and i were talking about school and how she was graduating in
a month. It was really sad that she was leaving but it's life.

"So nicole, are you nervous to go to the U of A?" I asked.
"not really, it's still in town but i'm going to miss some people..." She
said.
"You'll have fun there, don't worry." I said trying to comfort her.
"Well i'm going to get ready for bed alright?" She said this but i
noticed she finally began to slur her words.  As she stood up to go to
her room she tripped and i coudlnt help but laugh, i mean maybe the
drinks did get to her. So i stood up and helped her to her room because i
felt bad and plus i was being a good friend, yea friend.

As i was putting her down on her bed she looked up and put her arms
around my neck. I just stood there in awe and didnt want to let go but i
had to. Sure enough she pulled me down and began to kiss me. Me being the
horrible girlfriend i am gave in and began to kiss Nicole back. Nicole
and i tossed and turned and eventually she landed on top. She took my
shirt off as i did the same to her. i then began to fumble to remove her
bra and as i did so she just smiled. Finally it was off and i soon
realzed mine was off too. We went back to kissing but i let my hands roam
all over her back and then over her butt. She didnt seem bothered by
this. She then slowly moved from kissing me to my boobs. She kept kissing
them but moved to my stoamche. I couldn't believe this was happened
though. She finally got to my pants and just took them off along with my
thong. She began to lick all around my pussy and i began to moan louder
and louder. I was suprised that a girl who has never had sex with another
girl could be this good. After i climaxed she came up and then i we began
to kiss all voer again. Finally i won and got top and i did the same
except i wanted to give her more. So after i made her climax due to my
tongue i put three fingers inside her and began to finger bang her. While
i was doing this her and i where still kissing. Finally she climaxed and
i went beside her and just layed there.

"Cindy, I love you." She said...i wasn't expecting her to say that at
all.

"wow, nicole i like you but i mean wow...how do you know what love is?" I
said

"I know what it is because whenever i look in your eyes i feel something
so strong for you. You make me feel complete and i don't want to lose
you." She said.

After that her and i cuddle and fell asleep in each others arms.

The rest of that spring break was awesome, i mean every night and every
chance nicole and I had sex. The only downside was sara. I had to tell
her when i got home. Well it was a friday when got home and the first
thing i did was call sara's cell. Instead of sara picking up some guy
picked up.

" Um is sara there?" I said.

" Yeah hold on, shes just waking up though." The male voice said.

This was going to be easier than i thought it would be.

"hello?" she said.

"hey sara, its me cindy...we need to talk." I said

"oh...um letme explain...i mean it happened all too fast and i was drunk,
he was drunk im so sorry..i mean oh my god..." She said.

"haha sara don't worry because i had the same situation but can we just
be ona  break? I mean i need some time to think things out."   I said.

"oh god yea, whew..i'm happy you're okay..but yea babe that sounds
fine."  With that her and i saw less of each other yet we'd still keep in
contact.

A few weeks passed and Nicole and i were fine yet nobody really knew
about her and I. I didnt care because at least I knew she loved me and
that was all that mattered.

Graduation time came and i couldn't believe nicole was leaving school.
Not just her but about 20 other of my friends were leaving...it was very
depressing yet it offered a new begining for them. Of course we all
promised to stay in contact but i wondered how long that'd last.

The night before graduation i went over to nicole's to drop off her back
pack she left in my car. Nicole lives two houses down from stephanie so i
was always by her house and what not. Well as i was driving towards her
house i noticed somebody's car was there. i knew it wasn't her families
because they were out that night in phx. I decided to park at stephanies
house and walk over to nicole's to see what was up. As i got to her house
I realized that it was Mike's car who was there. Mike was friend of hers
yet i knew he had liked her. I knocked on the door but there was no
answer. The lights were on so she had to be home. After a few minutes i
just walked in and nobody was in the living room or anything. I then
heard a few noises coming from her bedroom. I slightly opened her door
and saw her and Mike having sex on her bed. I didnt want to believe it
but there it was. I just left her house and her stuff there too. I dont
think they heard me but as i made my way back to stephanies house
stephanie saw me crying.

"Oh my god, what's wrong cindy?!" She said.

"Fucking Nicole is in there having sex with mike...fuck this...how could
i ever fall for her? total bullshit.." I said said this in sobs.

"Listen, you don't deserve that shit and i'll go kick her ass if you want
me to babe!" Stephanie said this being an honest friend.

"Yea it's okay, i'll figure it out but thank you stephanie." I said.

That night i went to my house and threw away everything that reminded me
of her. I threw out every present she ever gave me, every picture of her
and I and i just sat there crying . I couldn't beleive i'd be that stupid
to fall for her...

The next day was graduation and as a custome this is the day all the
seniors ditch. Well i didnt see her that day which was a good thing yet i
was bitter as all fuck.

That night though i had to go to graduation to see the rest of my
friends. I invited sara to go with me and she seemed happy to be around
me again. Her and I showed up and sat by the rest of our friends famalies
and by some other friends. It was crazy to realize they were leaving but
oh well.

After they all had walked i told sara to go with amber and the girls
because i had to go talk to someone. She had left with them and as i was
heading towards my car i heard someone calling my name.

"CINDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was nicole...shit...

"where were you?! I didnt see you by family or anything? what's going
on?" she said.

"What do you mean what's going on? I should be asking you that." I said
this and turned around to walk to my car.

"what is wrong?!" Nicole said.

"ha, Nicole don't think i'm stupid. I saw you and mike last night having
sex..i went to your house to drop off your stuff but fuck it. We're
threw...i don't want to hear your lame ass excuses.." I said this and
looked at her one last time and left. As i was leaving i noticed she was
just standing there and fell to the floor crying. I wasn't going to stop
though, she had screwed me over.

after that night sara and i got back together and we realized what we did
to each other was wrong and we made up and everything..things were back
to normal except for a few days following graduation all i got were phone
calls, texts, and emails from Nicole.  I'd just delete em..she had
already hurt me way too much.

During the following months my band began to take off and play a lot of
local gigs. everyonce in awhile I'd see nicole at the shows with a few
friends and yea she'd tried to talk to me but i'd ignored her every time.
Before i knew it though i was a senior.  I was excited to move on and
graduate and plus my band, sara and I were moving to Los Angeles. I was
all too excited for this.

The night of our graduation i sat there in the chairs thinking of times i
spent with my friends. I was called up, got my diploma and what not and
sat back down only to wait for the other 300 kids. What i had forgotten
about was that Nicole had a younger brother and he was in the same grade
as i was. This meant she was here. After everyone was called up and we
were threw i went to say hi to my family and my friends famalies when i
felt someone tap me on the shoulder.

"Hey, congrats." It was Nicole.

"hi...um thank you...I have to leave right now but thank you again. " i
gave her a fake smile and looked down.

" Listen, i'm so sorry for what i did that night... I know you'll never
forgive me but i'm sorry..."

"it's totally okay, i understand..things happen for a reason. Why they
do, i don't know but they do." I said.

She looked very sad and looked like she was going to cry.

I turned around to walk away but then i said, "hey nicole, tell you're
brother congrats!"
I think she was expecting me to say something else but i couldnt find the
words to say...yea i loved her but she hurt me too much that i as too
scared to love her.

I was finally free from higschool and the troubles it gave to me. I was
getting into my car to go to my house for the party when nicole was
tapping on the window.  I rolled it down and said, "hey are you okay?"
 A split second after that she leaned in and gave me one last kiss. She
started to cry and said she was sorry but had to kiss me one last time.

"Wow...i'm speechless nicole...Please don't forget that i love you but
please realize you have to learn from your mistakes..." after i said that
we parted ways...

I'm now Living with Sara still In L.A. along with my band. everything is
perfect because school is great, sara and I have been dating for a few
years and plus my band might get signed soon. whenever i go back home
though to visit everyone i always drive by nicole's house and wonder what
would have ever happened between her and i...i wonder if her and i will
ever meet again...