Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2006 18:10:39 -0500 From: Cameron P. Subject: Worn State Of Grace part 2 I flew into the house and shut the door, leaning against it. What in the world made me even dance with her??? The girl makes me so angry so why be that close? Grandma tottered out from the living room. "So, how was the party? Why so frazzled?" "It was fine, Grandma. Very nice." I said quickly making my way to the kitchen for a drink. I'm not a big drinker, but tonight definetly called for one. "You know, you use to do the same thing when you were a little girl, minus the alcohol. Everytime something upset you, you would change the subject. It's not healthy to hold in emotions. Sometimes screaming them out is the best thing. And it's pretty fun too." I sighed and turned around. "I danced with Merrick tonight. And things got a little heated and she kissed me. And then she pissed me off. And then a came home." "Well, what did she do that pissed you off?" Grandma asked quizzicaly. "The same thing she always does. Being arrogant and conceited. It was also the fact that she thought I would actually want to sleep with her, the kiss, and the flirting." I said, a little vexed. Grandma just looked at me and let out a slight laugh. "What??" Now my grandmother was getting on my nerves. "Again sweetie, the only reason it bothers you is because it's the truth, and you know it." "It is not!" I said hotly. "I have no desire to sleep with her, and even if I did I wouldn't. I have no desire for anyone after my last experiance with someone, especially not an self-aggrandizing child." "Alright, alright. You don't have to prove anything to me or anyone else. It only matters if you think it's true. Now why don't you go to bed. You look tired, darling." I swigged the rest of my drink and hugged grandma. I still couldn't believe the events of the evening. But, I was tired of thinking about them. I headed back to my bedroom, got into my pajamas and went to sleep with Brante curled by my back. I woke up the next morning feeling a little better. I went into the kitchen, where Grandma was already seated, and made some tea. After it had finished brewing I carried my steaming mug over to the kitchen table and sat down across from Grandma. "How're you feeling this morning?" Grandma asked, smiling. "Good good, I feel more relaxed now. It's not a big deal, it was just a kiss. And I don't have to talk to her if I don't feel like it." A sigh escaped me as I said this and took a sip of tea. "Exactly right, although, if I were you I would talk to her. I still think she's a babe." Grandma quickly took a drink of her coffee as she noticed the death stare I was giving her. I got to work early and started working on some lesson planning. I was sitting at my desk as I heard a knock. I looked up and saw Merrick standing there, leaning on the door jam. She was back in her usual uniform of tight distressed mens jeans, a form fitting navy t-shirt, a tan suede jacket and a messenger bag. She smirked at me. "Hi teach". "Merrick, I'm very busy, I can't talk now." I said, shortly. She walked in slowly, evenly. A slight swagger to her step, as always. She put both of her hands on the desk and leaned onto them. "I think we need to talk, I'm sure a few minutes won't put you excessively behind." I put down my pencil, took my glasses off and looked at her sternly. "I don't think there's anything we need to talk about." She laughed lightly. "Well, we could talk about the fact that you seem to dislike me a lot, and why this is so. Or the fact that you ran out of the hall last night like your life depended on it. Or, perhaps it's not that you dislike me, perhaps it's more fear than anything." "I'm not afraid of you!" I said, a little more sharply than I intended. "Why on earth would I be afraid? And yes, I do dislike you. You're conceited, arrogent, self-serving. You seem to think you're Gods gift to the world. Or to women, I can't figure which. And I've got news for you sweetie. You're not getting anywhere with me. You're a spoiled little rich kid who thinks the world should bow to your every whim and I'm not going to do it. So you can take your interest, game or whatever you like to call it to someone else. Because I don't want any of it." I said, a large breath escaping my lips. Those grey eyes studied me for a minute again. "I do not, nor have ever thought I'm God's gift to anyone. I know I'm a pretentious bitch sometimes. But only about things I'm sure of. And you are something I'm sure of. Someone I'd like to get to know better. You're very bitter. And someone had to make you that way. You're a beautiful woman and it kills me to see something so beautiful resentful and divided from the world. So, if this Teach, would qualify me as arrogant. Then be it. But I think you should take a look at yourself. "People seem to look at others through a magnifying glass, and themselves through a telescope." None of us are perfect. Atleast I understand that." She finished, her face only inches from mine. She raised her highly arched eyebrows and stood up. She seemed so tall when she was at her full height. And she left. The swagger still there, but with less liveliness. I sat there, stunned, fuming. I'm thirty-seven, I think I know a little about life. I know Janet hurt me. But it's not like I've closed myself off from people. I just haven't had the oppertunity. And it's just her, the only person I have a problem with is her. So, there's only one conclusion. She's full of it. And herself. Well Screw her. Maybe she'll leave me alone now. A few weeks went by since that morning. And I hadn't seem hide nor hair of Merrick. I felt content, light. I'd been doing a lot of things with Grandma and a few things with the other professors from the school. Yet, there was still something nagging at the back of my mind that made my stomach a little squeamish. I wasn't really sure what it was. But I could ignore it if I tried. So I tried with every ounch of me there was. The year was about to come to an end and my classes were getting more and more hectic with the rigorous amount of studying the students had to go for their exams. I was up at the blackboard writing down passages that they should remember from the play we had just read. I heard some whispering going on behind me. It was the normal amount so I just went on talking about the importance of these certain passages from the play. Suddenly there came an exclimation of "oh my God!" from a girl behind me. I turned around and noticed the entire class were looking out of the windows. "What in the world is going on??" I asked, more than a little annoyed. "Professor, I think you have a message." One girl said from the window ledge. I raised my eyebrow and walked over. When I looked outside I sucked in a breath of air. "What the hell does she think she's doing?" There, on the inner campus, was a huge white horse with a long mane. And on it's back, was Merrick, dressed in a suit circa the 1800's. "I think she's saying something!" Another girl said as she opened the window. I looked out and noticed every window of the building had heads poking out of them. I was beginning to become afraid. What was she doing?! She road back and forth in front of the building for what seemed like a lifetime, then settled infront of my windows. Her hair was flung back by those long fingers and she looked up, directly at me, and cleared her voice. Then she spoke... "Escape me? Never-- Beloved! While I am I, and you are you, So long as the world contains us both, Me the loving and you the loth, While the one eludes, must the other pursue. My life is a fault at least, I fear: It seems too much like a fate, indeed! Though I do my best I shall scarce succeed. But what if I fail of my purpose here? It is but to keep the nerves at strain, To dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall, And, baffled, get up and begin again,-- So the chace takes up one's life, that's all. While, look but once from your farthest bound At me so deep in the dust and dark, No sooner the old hope goes to ground Than a new one, straight to the self-same mark, I shape me-- Ever Removed!" She said the entire thing with such eloquence...such fervor. Through the Duration of the speech she used exactly the right timing and gestures. I loved the poem...Life In a Love by Robert Browning. She was smiling at me the entire time, surveying me with those eyes. All of the girls in the windows were applauding and whooping for her. Her eyes finally left me and she bowed. Then she realed the horse back, blew a kiss, and road off through the campus, hair blowing back with the speed. I pulled myself back in the window. There was much chatter and giggling among the girls. I made a snap decision. I was suddenly blazing with anger. How could she pull a stunt like that infront of the entire school? I shouted over the twenty or so voices. "Class dismissed for the day!" And I ran out the door. I wasn't really sure where she was going, but I knew I was going to find her. I ran down the hall, down the stairs, and burst through the door. I took off across the campus, thinking furiously about where she would have gone. Where in the world would you take a horse? I decided that the greek river would be the most logical place to try. I began running to the middle of the campus where the river was located. It finally came into view, I didn't see any white horses near it, but there was still hope. I got to the edge of the bank and stopped, looking around. I still didn't see her. I stood there, still fuming. How in the world could she do this? It was so embarrassing. How could she even stand to embarrass herself like that? Something invaded my thoughts. It was a sound. A faint thumping on the ground. I turned around as a huge white beast was galloping towards me at full speed. I started backing away. It looked like it was going to collide right into me. When it got about five feet to me it stopped suddenly and Merrick Hopped off, hitting the ground as though she were weightless. I straightened back up and looked at her. The smirk that was always there was still present. All the fury I had ever felt towards her boiled up in me and I lost control. "What the HELL were you thinking!!? You just embarrassed us both! That was the most idiotic thing I've ever seen!" I ranted, throwing my hands in the air. She just stood there for a minute. "So, you didn't like it then?" "No, I didn't like it! People are going to be talking about this work weeks!" "And?" She said with a shrug. "People talk about everything. And if they didn't have anything to talk about they would make it up." Her nonchalant attitude towards the situation and my fury was making my mood worse. "You're a jerk. A complete asshole. You didn't even consider for a minute how my feelings would be towards this." Her eyebrow raised. "I didn't consider you in this? Teach, I did it for you. And indeed I do believe this is the longest amount of your time you've ever given me. So my plan worked, just a little differently than I had hoped." "And what did you hope?" I spat. "Well, I was rather hoping you would find it charming...maybe even endearing." "Endearing? How could embarrassing me infront of my coworkers and students make me find something endearing?" I screamed. "You care too much about other peoples opinions. Why can't you be as you are with me? I don't doubt that I'm wrong in thinking you couldn't give a rats ass what I think about you." "no, I don't. So this once you are right about something." "Ouch. You are a mean one." She said playfully, smiling. "Stop smiling at me! You make everything into a flirtacious comment. I am not interested in any kind of relationship from you. Not even as teacher and pupil." I could feel my face becoming heated all the way to my ears. "I'm sure there are a few things you could teach me. And you never know, you may learn a few things from me." I blew my top. I finally cracked. I ran at her and pushed her to the ground. "Leave me alone! Just stay away from me from now on." As I said this she leaned up and grabbed me behind my knees and pulled me to the ground. I pushed and hit against her, taking out my rage. I kept hitting and kicking, we were rolling around on the ground. She was a lot stronger than me, but she wasn't using her strength. She was just trying to hold me off. Her hands were on my shoulders and she was holding me at a length. My hand came up and I slapped her hard across the face. This produced a roar of anger from her and she tightened her hands on my shoulder threw me to the ground, her ontop of me, holding me down. I stopped writhing after a second and just stared at her. There was a deep red handprint on the side of her face. We were both breathing hard, chests rising and falling. Her hair was a mess, falling all around her face. I looked at her lips, parted slightly as she breathed. I leaned up slowly and kissed them. She didn't kiss me back. I went in for another. My tongue sliding across her lower lip, biting it slightly. Her hips jumped into me a little. My lips pushed fully into hers. And finally, hers responded. Her mouth was fully intwinded with mine. Our tongues working feverishly at one another. I let my lips part from hers and kissed her chin, moving to her neck. We were breathing heavily again, she still wouldn't free my hands. She lifted her neck from my reach and burried her head in my neck. A gasp escaped me as she bit my neck and ran her tongue over it. I writhed against her. "Let go of my hands" I said it a breathless whisper. "So you can hit me again? I don't think so." She said between licks. I was starting to irritaited again. I tried to push her off of me, get my hands free. But she held firm. "You're starting to piss me off." I said harshly. She didn't stop. I mustered up all of my strength and pushed with my entire body and she rolled off of me to the side and I got up and started walking away. I felt her arms come around me tightly and push me against the fencing surrounding the bank. I tried to push again but she had all of her weight and muscle into her. I felt her lips on my neck again, and her hand slowly running under my dress. I gasped when it reached it's target. I had stopped struggling. I wanted to, but something in me really wanted her. Those long, delicate fingers slid their way past my underwear to my slit. I took in breath at the contact. Her teeth were nibbling on my ear as her fingers traced up and down the length of my slit. Her two fingers slid onto each side of my clit and started a slow rubbing motion. I moaned and leaned against the fence. The friction her fingers were making was getting me hotter and hotter. Her right arm was around my chest, keeping me steady. Her fingers were rubbing faster and faster as my clit got harder. "Oh God" I breathed. "I'm going to come." She stopped. I groaned with want as she turned me around to face her and leaned into me. "Not yet." the smirk was back. She pushed me back so my back was against the fence and kissed my neck again. Moving down she bit my nipples, which were visible through my dress. My moans were getting louder. Next thing I knew her head was under my dress. She lifted my left leg over her shoulder as I felt her hand move my underwear to the side. I felt her lips surround my clit and take it into them. I let out something between a shreek and a moan. As she was sucking and licking my clit I felt her fingers enter me. She started a slow rythem with them, building it up as I became wetter. I couldn't hardly hold myself up anymore. My clit was getting harder and as it did, the more intense her sucking became. Her fingers were moving inside me furiously. I made a gasp and wringled, I felt the tension rising up inside me. My body was on fire. The convulsions came and I screamed with the most intense orgasm I think I'd ever had. I slumped back against the fence and slid all the way to the ground. Merrick pushed her hair back and slumped next to me. I was slightly embarrassed now. I looked over at her and she was smiling. Not smirking. This was a full on smile. "What are you smiling about"? I asked curiously. She looked over at me, still smiling. "I knew you liked me."