Date: Thu, 14 Jun 2007 11:11:59 -0700 (PDT) From: Sheila Smith Subject: Ask Aunt Sheila Dear Readers, I thought it might be nice to share with you some of the letters that I have received in my Agony Column "Ask Auntie Sheila", together with my replies. Of course if you have a question, please write to me at the email address given at the end of this post. 1 Butt plugs Dear Aunt Sheila I have heard about butt plugs but never tried one. I am scared it might be unhealthy or something. I would appreciate your advice. Curious Cindy Well, Curious Cindy, aren't we the old-fashioned one?! The French call it "le petit trou d'amour" - the little love hole - and know that it is another exciting sex organ. I personally love to use a butt plug, on myself or on my girlfriends. The one I like best is sort of cone-shaped with regular "steps" like those Babylonian ziggurats, so you can feel the plug's progress as each Step slips past your tight little pucker. Once you get the hang of it, a butt plug can add amazing sensations to your masturbation, or to your fun with your girlfriend. The only advice I can give you is to take it slowly, and use lots of lube. Remember, men discovered years ago that this petit trou is just as good as a vagina, maybe even better, which is why so many men like to make out with little boys. LOL 2 Too much jilling? Dear Aunt Sheila I have an embarrassing problem, and I hope you can help me. The truth is I can't stop touching myself, mostly in the morning when I first wake up, but sometimes at night too before I go to sleep. What is wrong with me? Yours, Worried Anne Dear Anne, the only thing wrong with you, my dear, is that you are not masturbating enough! If you read my factsheet "Horny Woman's Workout", you will see that I recommend AT LEAST 30 minutes of concentrated masturbation on waking, and AT LEAST one hour at bedtime, plus as much jilling during the day as your schedule allows: this is the only way to good sexual health for every woman. You don't say if you use toys. Personally, I love to insert Benwa balls into my vagina during the day, specially when I am moving about, shopping or whatever. Feeling their caressing movement in my pussy keeps me constantly "on the boil" - I sometimes wonder what people make of the beatific smile on my face as I tingle to repeated orgasm! So, go for it, girl! 3 Student-teacher problem Dear Aunt Sheila I am a teacher in a secretarial school. and I love my job, but at the moment I have a problem that I don't know how to deal with. One of my students, let's call her Marie, is very good, but she is a really quite slutty. What I mean is she dresses very provocatively - showing lots of cleavage and wearing microskirts, etc. The trouble is that she sort of flirts with me, touching her breasts when she knows I'm looking at her, or sitting with her legs splayed when she knows I can see her panties. Also, she sometimes stands very close to me, and sometimes she makes remarks about how beautiful my breasts are and that sort of thing. I am at my wits' end what to do. Dear Teacher What's your problem? You've got an attractive horny girl coming on to you. Get real: go out and buy yourself a really good strap-on dildo and invite her round to your place for drinks and a chat. Leave the strapon somewhere where she will see it, and I guarantee her curiosity will be aroused in no time, and the two of you will be in fuck-mode for the rest of the night! I envy you. 4 Furtive masturbation Dear Aunt Sheila I work in a busy office, and my problem is that I get horny most of the time during working hours, but I can't keep going to the bathroom to finger myself. Can you suggest any ways I could masturbate while I am at my desk, but without anyone noticing? Goodness, girl, where have you been? First off, what's wrong with people noticing if you have your hand under your skirt or down your pants? Let them stare if they want to. The men will rush off to the bathroom to jack off and then lose interest. The girls in the office will just think "Wow, if she can do that, so can I!" and you will have an office full of happy jilling girls in no time! Who knows, you may end up in the bathroom as a twosome, and if that isn't fun, I don't know what is! 5 Sexy daughters Dear Aunt Sheila I think I must be sick in the head. My daughter, Karen, is just so attractive that I can't take my eyes off her. Hard as I try not to do it, I find my eyes wandering over her breasts or staring at her crotch. At night, I bring myself off with my fingers thinking about her. Sometimes on the weekend mornings she comes into my bed and snuggles into me. She seems specially to like nuzzling into my breasts, which of course drives me crazy. What should I do? I feel such a pervert thinking about my owndaughter this way. I don't know which of you is luckier: you having a daughter who wants to enjoy your breasts; or Karen having a mother who is ready for sex with her. Just go with your feelings. The next time Karen climbs into your bed and snuggles into you, use your hands to caress her everywhere - and I mean EVERYWHERE, starting with her hair and face, then her upper body, then her butt - pull her tight into you - and then slide your hand between her thighs. I guarantee two things: one, you will find her very wet, a sure sign that she's ready for sex; two, her hands will be all over you too. Another word of advice: stick to mutual fingering to start with, and just use your mouth for kissing and sucking on each other's breasts. When she is ready, she will be begging you to go down on her and eat out her pussy. Believe me! 6 Early years sex Dear Aunt Sheila I have noticed that my daughter, who is no more than a toddler, is forever touching herself, exploring her private parts with her fingers, and seems to be getting pleasure from it. I am worried sick. Surely this isn't natural? Worried Mom Oh dear, Worried Mom, do stop worrying! "EVeryone, from little boys and girls to old men and women, enjoy touching themselves. It's the most natural thing in the world, so instead of worrying about your little girl's self-exploration, you should be happy for her, and indeed, if you feel so inclined, you could help her. One thing I always recommend is that girls should be encouraged from an early age to play with each other's pussies: it is so much more fun, and they can learn so much from mutual fondling and fingering. What do you think sleepovers were invented for?! 7 Sexual harassment Dear Aunt Sheila I am the victim of sexual harassment at work and I really don't know what to do about it. My supervisor, Judy McKay, is an unmarried woman in her mid-forties. She is what you might call butch, a bit severe, and for a long time, I thought she didn't like me, me being young and, well, my friends say I am pretty. But lately, she keeps kind of bugging me, standing close, putting her hands on me, touching my hair, saying things like do I have a boyfriend, and stuff like that. Also, she's a big woman, and she often leans forward over my desk and I just know she is showing me her cleavage, which I find it difficult not to look at. Then, the other day, she sat at the side of my desk to talk about some invoice or other, and all the while she was running her hands up the inside of her thighs in a real suggestive way. And today, she touched my breasts and said what a lovely figure I have and then some stuff about the bra I was wearing and did I ever think of not wearing a bra, my breassts being so firm and beautiful. I may be wrong, but I think she is sexually interested in me. What should I do? Yours Lisa H. Come on, Lisa, don't play the innocent with me. Reading between the lines, it is clear to me that you are getting a real buzz out of your Supervisor's attentions. Be honest with yourself. Don't you get just a little bit excited when she is coming on to you? A little hot and bothered? A little tingling you know where? So, what's your problem? My advice is to go into work tomorrow without a bra on, choose a nice flimsy top that will show of your breasts, maybe a nice short skirt, the kind that buttons - or rather unbuttons - at the front. Get her all worked up, call her bluff. If it scares her off, end of problem. If she makes a play for you, go with the flow, girl. Enjoy yourself. You are only young once, and a good fuck with an experienced dyke is something you will never forget. In fact, something you will want to repeat again and again and again! 8 Masturbating in public Dear Aunt Sheila I think I must be sick in the head, Aunt Sheila. I get a special buzz out of masturbating in public. Of course I don't just throw my skirt over my head and start fingering my pussy, but I do find all kinds of ways of exciting myself. For example, I can bring myself off just pressing my crotch against the corner of a desk or table or counter in a shop. Or I sit with the corner of my handbag pressing into my crotch and then I can rub my clit that way. I can even get myself really horny just crossing my legs and kicking my foot while squeezing my pussy. I just can't help it. Is there anything you can do for me, Aunt Sheila? If I were with you, my love, there is a lot I could do for you! LOL Listen, sweetie, you might think you are the only one, but I can tell you that we ALL love to masturbate in public, and thank goodness we have ways of doing it without getting arrested for indecent exposure! Don't worry, just do it, make yourself happy whenever and as often as you want to. That's what the rest of us do, right ladies? 9 Red Alert Dear Aunt Sheila My name is Lorraine and I am in a loving relationship with Teresa. Everything is great between us, except for one thing: she loves to go down on me when I am on my period. I have to admit that I like what she does to me, but I just think it might be gross. What do you think, Aunt Sheila? You must be crazy! She likes it, you like it, so what's the problem? I used to go down on my gf Ruth and get my teeth on the string and pull out the tampon and then go for her like crazy, and we both freaked out it was so hot. We also used to love inserting tampons for each other, and that was something real special. So, stop worrying, open up and let Teresa have what she wants - specially since you want it too! 10 Masturbating mother Dear Auntie Sheila I have found out a terrible secret: my mother masturbates! When I was going through one of the drawers in her dressing table, I came across some sex toys, including a vibrator that had a little knob thing on it to stimulate the cltoris, and another I think they call the Butterfly which you put over your clitoris. I think it's disgusting when older people use sex toys on themselves, and I am so ashamed, I can hardly bear to speak to her any more. What should I do? Yours, Ann S First off, have you tried your mother's sex toys on yourself? Do it, and see how good it feels, then maybe you will understand that your mom wants to feel good too. And why shouldn't she? If you really want to be a loving daughter, tell her you love to masturbate and wouldn't be fun if the two of you masturbated together! Sex between mother and daughter is beautiful, believe me. 11 Small clitoris Dear Aunt Sheila My girlfriend has a beautiful clitty. It's quite big, like a little penis, and she can almost put it inside my pussy! But mine is tiny, even when I am really horny, it's just a button, you'd hardly know I had a clit at all. No matter how much I rub it, or how much my girlfriend sucks and licks it, it doesn't get any bigger. What can I do to make my clitty big like hers? Angela P Angela, you silly girl. Men worry about the size of their penises, but we women don't have to. Do you get pleasure from rubbing your clitoris? Of course you do. Does your girlfriend bring you to orgasm? Of course she does. All those millions of nerve endings are what makes our clitties such wonderful sex organs, size has nothing to do with it. Get your girlfriend to rub her clitty against yours (what we call frotting) and I guarantee you will both make love for hours and have wonderful orgasms! 12 Hubby knows Dear Aunt Sheila My hubby has found out about me. I mean, he came home the other afternoon unexpectedly and found me in bed with his sister. As she was fucking me with a strapon dildo at the time, we couldn't hide the truth from him. He didn't say anything, just walked out and hasn't referred to the matter since. But I am worried what he is thinking and what he might do. What do you suggest? Worried Christine Christine, the fact that he hasn't said anything is a good sign. It suggests to me that he isn't really bothered, probably because he is also getting his sex somewhere else. If I know men, he probably has a boyfriend, so while you are enjoying a dildo session with his sister, he is enjoying a cocksucking session with a pretty boy somewhere. Don't worry about it, and above all, don't give up your afternoons with your girlfriend: they are more precious than anything your hubby might say or do. Who knows, you might even end up as a foursome: just imagine seeing him with his cock inside his boyfriend's ass while his sister has her strap-on deep inside yours! 13 Naughty physiotherapist Dear Aunt Sheila I have a problem with my knee which means that I have to go for regular physiotherapy. I always see the same physio, a woman in her late thirties, a bit on the heavy side, but quite attractive, specially her eyes and her hair. Anyway, the last few sessions, she has let her hand stray higher and higher up my thigh while massaging my knee, and last time, she actually touched my pussy through my panties. Several times.I was really shocked and I don't know what to do. Worried Judy K Who are you kidding, Judy? That fact that you have noticed how attractive she is and the fact that you keep going back for more means only one thing: you WANT her to touch you! Admit it, girl, you are just like the rest of us: ripe for a hot lesbian experience. Next session, don't wear panties and just "let nature take its course". Once she starts to rub your clitty and slide her fingers inside your pussy, you will stop worrying. And you will probably forget about your knee too! More to come. Comments to sheilamoist4u@yahoo.com or visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/whereloveis/files/ Have fun, stay moist and keep your fingers busy!