Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 03:01:27 -0700
From: RC in Sacramento <sacwriter@hotmail.com>
Subject: Becka the Beast, Chapter 21

This is a work of fiction from a first time author. It depicts acts of sex
and sexuality between two teenage females. If such content disturbs you, or
you are under 18, get out and stay out. As always, this story can only be
reproduced by consent of the author.

			Becka the Beast
			 by Sacwriter

Chapter 21***


	On Sunday while they were cleaning up from breakfast, Phil surprised Becka
with a present. It was his credit card.
	"Gia told me that you only got one pair of shoes, sweetheart, so I want you
girls to go to the mall and get yourself a couple pairs for school."
	Becka took the card hesitantly, suddenly embarrassed. 	"Um, I got money,
Dad. I can pay for my own."
	Phil put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Save
your money, hon. Use it if you want to buy something extra. But school
clothes are part of the basics, and I handle those. Oh, and before I forget,
here's your allowance, too." Phil handed the girl two twenty dollar bills,
which she looked at uncertainly. "One's for you, and the other is for Gia."
	"But...what's it for, Dad? Are we supposed to buy something with it?"
	hil shrugged. "Do whatever you want with it, it's yours. Becka, it's a
house rule, all you kids get an allowance for doing chores around here until
you turn eighteen. You, Gia and Johnny all get twenty dollars a week."
	Becka could only look at her father in wonder.
	"You mean I get paid, too?"

			* * *

	Gia and Becka took the bikes out and headed to the mall as soon as their
household chores were done. Gia had had a word with Johnny, and he had
readily gifted his bicycle to his new sister, saying airily that a man with
four wheels had no more need for two. Within the hour the two sisters were
at the mall, armed with their father's credit card and back in girl mode.
	They had called Sammie before they left, and she met them outside the first
shoe store on their list. Between her and Gia, Becka soon felt like she had
been caught up in a tornado, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. It left her
feeling dizzy and out of breath, and even a little queasy in her belly, but
by one o'clock their mission was accomplished. Becka had three new pairs of
shoes, and they had come in just under the $100 dollar limit their father
had set.
	"God, Becka, I still can't believe you did all that in your head. Sales tax
and everything, right down to the penny!"
	Becka just shrugged. Sammie had been going on about this since they had
left the last store. After spending years juggling coupons and shopping
lists to get the maximum number of calories, figuring out the total price of
three pairs of shoes had been child's play. But anything that had to do with
shopping impressed Sammie, and her compliments were having an interesting
effect on Gia. Becka's sister/lover had a self pleased, smug grin on her
face, as if all of the other girl's praise was directed at her. Becka knew
that meant Gia was proud of her, and that in turn was creating a pleasant
warmth inside her stomach.
	"So when are we supposed to meet Justine and Kelly?" she asked, as she
mentally reviewed how far her own cash would go. She was wondering if she
could stretch twenty dollars far enough to buy herself a purse. She had
never had one before, but Sammie and Gia did, and she thought they looked
kind of handy to have. How much did they cost, anyway?
	"Two o'clock at the food court. They couldn't get here earlier because
Justine had a riding lesson this morning. That gives us an hour to get
something to eat before they get here."
They ended up at Taco Bell, sitting at one of the outside tables so that
they could watch the crowd and be visible when their friends arrived. While
they were eating what Gia referred to dismissively as 'mock Mexican' food,
Sammie found herself treated to a rather bizarre game that her two friends
liked to play, which left her feeling more than a little freaky.
	Becka and Gia were girl watching.
	"Okay now, that one's definitely got a nice butt. You gotta admit, those
jeans make her look really hot."
	"Yeah, but she's so flat chested. Girls that small should not wear tight
T-shirts, it just makes them look more like a boy. Believe me, I know."
	"Hey, check out that one in the tennis dress."
	"What, that kid? Becka, she can't be more than thirteen!"
	"Yeah, but check out her Mom. Do you see those legs?"
	"Oooh, look, in front of Macy's! The girl with the white shorts, bending
over."
	"Oh yeah, nice. "
	Sammie had her head in her hands, her face scarlet with embarrassment. She
let out a moan that would have been convincing if it hadn't been so overly
dramatic.
	"Oh Gawd, I can't believe you're saying these things. You're doing this on
purpose, you're just trying to mess with my head, aren't you?"
	Becka and Gia glanced at each other, sharing identical grins. Busted. It
was Gia who replied.
	"Yeah, Sammie, you're right. We're just playing 'mess with the straight
girl'. Man, you should see how red you are."
	"Not funny," Sammie said, frowning. She picked up her soda and took a long
swallow. Okay, so maybe it was a little bit funny.
	"Just remember not to pull that crap around Kelly and Justine. You'd really
freak them out."
	The table fell silent, and Sammie was suddenly aware that something had
changed, but she didn't know what. She looked at her two friends and found
them sharing sober glances with each other.
	"What? What'd I just say?"
	Gia cleared her throat. "Uh, Sammie, there's something we have to tell you.
When Justine and Kelly get here, we intend to come out."
	Sammie looked puzzled. "Come out? What do you mean, come out from where?"
	Gia frowned, not liking to have to explain herself.
	"As in, 'come out of the closet'. It's a gay thing. It means we're going to
tell them that we're lesbians."
	Sammie frowned, looking at both of her friends. "Are you sure you want to
do that? I mean, if you tell Justine and Kelly, you might as well spray
paint it all over the school. Those two couldn't keep a secret if you held a
gun to their heads."
	Becka snorted. "That's the idea, Sam. We're not just coming out to them,
we're coming out to everybody. Going public, you know? We figure it's going
to happen soon anyway, so we might as well get it over with."
	"She's right, Sammie. You know, our family knows, everybody at the
hospital, even our social worker knows."
	"Yeah, and she's the only one we had to tell! Everybody else just figured
it out."
	"So like Becka said, it's going to happen sooner or later, so why wait? At
least this way we have some control over it."
	Sammie almost pointed out the fallacy of anybody thinking they could
control Justine and Kelly, but she bit her tongue and kept quiet. Becka and
Gia had already made up their minds, there was no sense in making them
nervous about their decision at this late date.
	They sat that way for a long while, each lost in her own thoughts.
Underneath the table Gia and Becka were holding hands, communicating in
their own personal way, but otherwise the three girls were silent. Finally
Sammie spoke.
	"Umm, guys? Can I ask a question? If it's too personal you don't have to
answer."
	Becka looked at Gia, and then shrugged. "Yeah, go ahead, Sammie. What do
you want to know?"
	"How did you know you where gay? I mean, were you born that way, and always
knew it? Or did it just kind of hit you one day? And if you weren't born
that way, did something happen that made you ... er ... I mean..."
	Becka snorted. "You mean did getting gang raped for six years turn me off
of men? It's okay, Sammie, I've asked myself that question a lot, too. And
the answer is, I just don't know. Ralph first did me when I was only eleven,
too young to be having sex feelings for anybody. So maybe I was born queer,
or maybe all of my feelings for guys were poisoned by what happened. I just
know that I like looking at girls, and I've never felt anything at all like
that for boys. Gia?"
	The other girl sat for a while, drinking from her soda, trying to sort out
her thoughts.
	"Okay, you remember Tino Sanchez, the boy I told you gave me my first kiss
at my Quinceanera?  Well I used to think that he was the handsomest boy in
our whole school. He was smart, he was funny, and I could tell that he liked
me, too. And he respected me, he never treated me like I was just a piece of
ass he was trying to get into. I planned for him to be my first kiss, and I
kind of planned for him to be my first you-know-what, too.
	"But when we finally kissed, there was, well, nothing. Nada. No fireworks.
In fact it was like kissing one of my stuffed animals. Oh, we dated for a
few months after that, and we made out just like everybody expected us to.
But I was just going through the motions.
	"At first I thought it must be Tino's fault, that maybe I only felt that
way about him. We had been friends for so long, maybe I was just thinking of
him like one of my brothers, or something. But I dated three other boys
after Tino and I broke up, and even went to a couple of make out parties.
But it was the same story with all of them, too. No fireworks, no sparks,
not even a warm glow. So I knew then that it had to be me.
	"And then I noticed how conscious I was getting about other girls. I would
catch myself watching them walk down the hallway, or sit across from me in
class. I would try to imagine what they looked like naked, and in the locker
room I would have to force myself not to look at them when they were naked.
Even girls who I had known all of my life, I found myself wanting to just
reach out and touch them. By the end of the school year, I just had to face
it. Not only was I gay, but I was also horny as hell."
	Sammie giggled, she couldn't help it. The thought of little Gia secretly
lusting after everything in a skirt was pretty wild.
	"So what happened? Did you ever tell anybody?"
	"Nope. I was thinking about all the girls that I knew, and trying to figure
out who I could trust enough to make a pass at, when we moved into our new
house. And away from all of my friends. Let me tell you, it was a pretty
frustrating summer."
	Sammie was trying to sort out all of this new information in her mind, but
it wasn't easy. She could kind of understand what Gia must've gone through,
it sounded a little like the frustration and anxiety that most girls
experienced as they started to discover sex. She thought she could relate to
it. But she had absolutely no frame of reference for what Becka had gone
through, and what's more she didn't want any. It was good enough that she
could accept the older girl as her friend, she decided, she didn't have to
be able to crawl inside her to see what made her tick. No, there were some
places she definitely didn't need to go.
	It was Gia who interrupted her thoughts.
	"Heads up. Here they come."

			* * *

	Becka looked up and spotted the ditzy duo right away, Justine's curly red
locks stuck out in the crowd like a penny in a pile of nickels. She had
apparently gone home and changed after her riding lesson, because the tight
shorts and the halter top she now wore wouldn't have been in fashion while
sitting on a horse, and the thought of Justine not being fashionable was
ridiculous. Kelly was dressed similarly, the two girls obviously taking this
last chance to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather. It wouldn't be long
before they had to start wearing full length pants, but until then Becka
knew that they'd take every opportunity possible to show off their tans.
	"Becka! Oh Gawd, girl, it's so good to see you!" Kelly shrieked, throwing
her arms around the other blonde and squirming like a puppy. Becka gave her
a brief hug back before extricating herself from the strangling arms, only
to find them replaced by Justine's equally enthusiastic embrace. She shifted
in her seat uncomfortably, embarrassed by all of the girly attention, and
then grimaced as she saw Gia grinning at her in amusement. Sometimes having
friends was harder than at others.
	"Oh, Becka, we were so worried! Did you get the card I made? Gia told us
all about what happened, we wanted to come see you but she said we couldn't.
Are you alright? You look alright. Tell us you're alright!"
	"Jeez, Kelly, chill, will you. Becka's fine, 'cause Gia told us so,
remember? And, like, they let her out of the hospital and everything, so
she's gotta be alright. Right?"
	"Well what do they know, anyway. Becka's the only one who knows if she's
alright, and I want to hear it from her!"
	"Kelly, you are such a baby. You always do this to me, you embarrass me so
much. You always have to make such a big deal about everything. You can be
so lame sometimes."
	"Shut up, I am not! I was just worried, is all. God, Justine, you are so
insensitive, for all you know Becka could have been dying, and here you
are---"
	"HEY!" Becka snapped. "You dorks, I'm sitting right here!"
	Justine and Kelly glanced at each other sheepishly, too embarrassed to look
at the older girl. They were so obviously upset that Becka felt a flash of
shame. With an effort she reigned in her anger and took a deep breath before
addressing the other two.
	"Look, I'm alright. They took out all the stitches last week, and I'm not
even sore anymore. Maybe I should have called you guys, and I'm sorry now
that I didn't. I guess I'm not used to people worrying about me.
	"Um, and Kelly, I got your card. Thanks, I liked it. Uh, a lot."
	Kelly and Justine suddenly grinned, their distress vanishing as surely as
their last thoughts. They quickly settled themselves at the same table as
the other three girls, and started plying Becka and Gia with a stream of
questions that were just this side of intrusive. Gia and Sammie fielded most
of them, and eventually the conversation turned to safer subjects.
	Becka and Gia weren't sure how to do this. After all, how do you tell
someone that you're gay? Do you just jump right in and announce it, and see
what happens? 'By the way, we're both lesbians. Please pass the hot sauce?'
Somehow, that just didn't seem like the right way to handle it. By unspoken
consent, they decided to just wait until fate provided them with the right
opening.
	In this case, fate was working through Justine.

	"Oh wow, I just thought of something! We should like all go to the beach
next Saturday. It'll probably be the last time we can do that before it gets
too cold. I mean, it might be, like, too cold to surf or swim or anything,
but we can still have a party, right? It'll be just like Megan Trotter's
birthday was in May. We can barbecue, and have a bonfire, and dance on the
sand and make out behind the sand dunes.
	"Hey, we can even fix Gia up with one of Jeff's friends, couldn't we,
Sammie? Maybe someone from the wrestling team. And Sandy Warner's cousin is
gay, we can invite her for Becka---oops!"
	Justine realized what she had said and slapped her hands over her mouth, a
split second before Kelly's foot kicked her under the table. But to make
sure she got her point across, the other girl then punched her in the
shoulder, too.
	"You doofus! You can't go around saying things like that, we don't know for
sure Becka is gay. You are such a lamebrain, Justine."
	"Shut up, I am not! I didn't mean what I said. And besides, everybody says
Becka's a dyke, so what's the big---owww!"
	This time it was Sammie's foot that kicked her under the table.
	Becka rolled her eyes, something she did a lot of when around Justine and
Kelly. Then she looked over at Gia and asked a silent question, to which her
lover just shrugged. Okay, this was as good an opportunity as any.
	"Look, it's alright, you guys. You can stop glaring at Justine like she
just stepped on a puppy, I'm not offended, okay? And Justine, if you really
want to know, then yes, I am gay. Are you okay with that?"
	"Oh," she said, blinking. Apparently being right about something took
Justine a little getting used to. "Um, yeah, I'm okay with it. I mean, like
I said, everybody always said you were, uh, you-know-what before we became
friends. So like, what's the big deal, right?"
	"Yeah," Kelly put in. "And I'm totally cool with it, too. I just didn't
think it was nice to come out and say it out loud, you know? But that's
great, 'cause Justine is right. Sandy Warner's cousin is pretty cute, and if
we invite her to the party you can have somebody to, umm..."
	Becka sighed as the other girl started to taper off. She reached over and
laid her hand on Gia's, giving it a firm squeeze.
	"It's okay, guys. I'll go to your party. And don't worry, I'm already
involved with somebody, so I'll be bringing my own date."
	"Oh, you are? Cool! Who is she, is it someone we know? Someone from
school?"
	"Yeah, Becka, who is it?" Justine asked eagerly, the thought of some juicy
new gossip bringing a shine to her eyes.
	Gia raised her hand, the one still held in her lover's grip. She smiled at
the other two girls, and only Becka knew her well enough to see the pride
that was in it. That, and a hint of grim determination.
	"Me," she said.
	Justine and Kelly just looked at her, puzzled. "You, what?" Kelly finally
asked.
	Sammie sighed and shook her head. Some people are just born clueless.

			* * *

	Gia strode through the mall like she had a steel rod up her spine, and she
was mad as hell about it. Her legs were on autopilot, which was good because
she wasn't really seeing the crowds of people she was weaving her way
through. In fact, all she really saw was red.
	ecka was following along beside her, but despite the difference in their
heights, she was the one forced to hurry to keep up. Her eyes were also
unfocused, but the older girl wasn't seeing red. She was seeing Justine and
Kelly's reaction when it had finally sunk in that both she and Gia were gay.
In a word, they had freaked.
	No, they hadn't just freaked. They had gotten up and ran. At first they
hadn't understood, and then they hadn't believed, they had thought it was
some kind of joke. But when the truth had finally sunk in, they had stared
at the other girl like she had just sprouted a new head. And it wasn't Becka
they had been staring at, it had been Gia.
	The looks of shock had quickly morphed into ones of horror, as they pushed
their chairs away from the table as if they were afraid of catching
something, some contamination, or maybe a disease. They had mumbled
incoherent excuses about having to be somewhere else and then quickly left.
The exit was spoiled when after about twenty feet Kelly had spun around and
run back to the table, but only to pick up her forgotten purse, and then
spun back around and raced to rejoin the departing redhead. But every inch
of the way she had kept her face turned, refusing even to look at the three
girls still sitting at the table.
	Becka hadn't had the same problem, she had looked carefully at both Gia and
Sammie, and accurately read the expressions on their face. Her lover was in
shock, quickly turning to mortification followed by fury. Her face had gone
an unhealthy shade of white, and her breath was beginning to hiss through
her nose. Sammie's face was the opposite, she was turning bright red with
embarrassment, shamed by the actions of the other two girls who she called
her friends. When she looked at Becka, it was as if she were pleading for
forgiveness, as if she was the one who had given offense.
	But as for herself...all Becka felt was sad.

			* * *

	Becka watched as her sister fumbled at the padlock on her bike, trying with
trembling hands to work the combination. After the fifth failed attempt she
snarled in fury and tried to throw the offending lock onto the ground, but
the chain it was attached to just swung it away in an arc, to bang against
the bike frame and chip the paint. Which only served to make Gia all the
madder. But before she could kick the bike and maybe injure herself, she
found her arm gripped in one of Becka's strong hands.
	"Gia, stop it! It's not doing us any good to get mad and smash things. I
aughta know, I'm the expert at that, remember?"
	Gia pulled away from her lover's grasp and stood there, fists clenched at
her sides, as her body actually shook with the power of her emotions.
Dammit, it was just so wrong! Everybody else had accepted her and Becka,
that they were two lovers who just happened to both be girls. They didn't
want to hurt anybody, they didn't want to flaunt themselves or make anybody
else change who they were. They just wanted to love each other. What was so
wrong with that? And why the hell did the opinions of two airheads mean so
much to her?
	"I told you this would happen."
	Gia's head snapped up at Becka's soft words, and for the first time a voice
in the back of her head started screaming that something was wrong,
something besides Justine and Kelly's rejection. It suddenly occurred to her
that Becka, quick tempered and always ready for a confrontation Becka, for
once wasn't the angry one. It was Gia who was usually the voice of reason,
the focused one who thought things through before acting. If Gia felt like
this, then Becka should be foaming at the mouth and trying to smash anything
that moved. But instead she appeared to be both calm and, well, 'resigned'.
	"We got spoiled, Gia, that's all. A lot of people found out about us, and
they were okay with it. So we thought everybody would be the same. But now
two people finally freaked, just like I said someone would, and you weren't
expecting it. So now you're pissed at them, but it doesn't do you any good,
does it?
	"You can't make people change, Gia. You can shout and break things and hit
them all you want, but you can't change them. I know, because I tried.
Remember?"
	Gia remembered, only too well. Becka's years as 'the Beast', angry all the
time, fighting all the time, alone all the time. She was right, it hadn't
changed the way one single person felt, and neither would her temper
tantrums. Gia suddenly felt all of her anger washed away, drowned in a
choking wave of helplessness.
	"Dammit, Becka, it's just so, so unfair!"
	The other girl snorted, looking far older than her seventeen years.
	"So what else is new? Or maybe you're unhappy because those two bimbos
weren't bothered by me being a queer, but they so totally freaked when they
found out that you were."
	Gia tried to deny it, but they both knew that Becka had hit it right on the
button. Was she so shallow, then? Was all of this pain just her wounded
pride? But how could they have accepted Becka's sexuality so easily, and yet
so totally rejected her for the same reason. Gia felt the hot wet tracks of
tears etching trails down her face, but before any struck the ground she was
suddenly wrapped in the arms of the most important person in her life, her
head buried in the hollow of Becka's big, broad shoulder. Gia clutched at
her lover as if she were a lifeboat, the only thing between her and the cold
dark waters of a hostile sea.
	"Why?" she murmured, her voice muffled and soft, but easily audible to the
girl who held her tight. "Why, Becka? Why do they like you, but hate me?"
	"Because I'm Becka the Beast remember? They always knew I was a dyke, even
if I hadn't said so. But you were one of them. You were a normal. And when
they found out that you weren't, I guess they just couldn't deal. And you
better get used to it, Gia, because Justine and Kelly aren't just two
people. They're also the rest of the world."

	Gia stood there for a long time, crying silently, being soothed by the
bigger girl's strength. Eventually she turned her face up to her lover's,
and let herself be pulled into a kiss.
	From out in the parking lot a group of teenage boys witnessed the act, and
immediately started shouting catcalls. Some of them whistled and even
clapped, and one shouted out, "Get a room, you fucking dykes!", as his
buddies laughed and and cheered him on.
	Gia started going red in the face, and was about to turn around and face
the crowd, but Becka's hands on her shoulders stopped her.
	"Gia, what are you gonna do? Beat up the whole world?"
	Gia hung her head in defeat, acknowledging the truth in Becka's words.
Silently the two unlocked their bikes and shouldered their bags, and then
rode away. They headed straight for home, but in their minds the big house
was no longer a paradise, but had instead become a place to hide.
(continued)