Date: Fri, 03 Oct 2003 22:35:52 -0700 From: RC in Sacramento Subject: Becka the Beast, Chapter 3 This is a work of fiction from a first time author. It depicts acts of sex and sexuality between two teenage females. If such content disturbs you, or you are under 18, get out and stay out. As always, this story can only be reproduced by consent of the author. Becka the Beast by Sacwriter Chapter 3*** Gia saw Becka again during American Government class, but they sat on opposite sides of the room and couldn't talk. Still they exchanged glances and smiles, and Gia noticed that Becka had made an effort to fix her hair. It was clean, at least, and all the tangles had been brushed out. It seemed to take forever for the lunch bell to ring, but the hour hand finally crawled it's way to the noon hour, and they met at the table that they had shared the day before. The two young women grinned at each other when Gia produced another Ziploc of the homemade cookies. They quickly helped themselves, and Becka enjoyed the gooey taste of the chocolate chips that seemed to burst in her mouth. She had never liked chocolate chip before, but now she did, and in fact it had become her favorite. She knew that she would always associate the taste with Gia's soft kisses. Sammie, Justine and Kelly walked by, giving the two girls a long look, but not saying anything. Gia gave them a wave, but seemed content to stay where she was. Becka felt a pang of guilt at the thought that she was coming between Gia and her friends. She didn't want her pariah status, her reputation for being a freak, to rub off onto Gia. But at the same time she couldn't bear the thought of not being with her, of once more eating her meals alone in her isolated corner of the cafeteria. "What're you thinking about," asked Gia, noticing the look on her lover's face. The term came easily to her, she had faced it last night and decided that Becka was definitely going to be that, her lover. She liked the word, and couldn't wait for the opportunity to use it on her. Becka smiled, waited for her to take a drink of Coke. "I'm picturing you, naked." Twin streams of dark cola shot from Gia's nose, as she started to choke on the softdrink. A suddenly concerned Becka rose to help her, but stopped when she saw the other girl was grabbing her sides in helpless laughter. Instead she sat back down and used some paper napkins to clean up the mess. "Oh you brat, I can't believe it! Becka 'the Beast' Jackson just made a joke. And she almost strangled me doing it! Oh, I am so going to have to get you for that, little girl." Becka grinned, watching Gia wipe the last of the soda from the front of her blouse. She glanced over at the table were Gia's friends sat, and saw them watching right back. She nodded in their direction. "Hey, Gia. What're you going to tell your friends? About me, I mean." Gia looked her straight in the eye, realized that this was an important question, and therefore deserved what her father called 'the balls up truth'. She chose her words carefully. "You mean am I going to tell them you're a lesbian? Too late, little girl, they already know. The whole school does, remember? "Am I going to tell them that we had sex in the locker room, or that you and I made out like Pitt and Anniston behind your house last night? No, it's none of their business. But I'm not ashamed of it, or of you, and if anybody ever finds out about us I won't even bother to deny it. If they can't take it, it's their problem, not ours. "Am I going to tell them that you're really a warm and wonderful person who doesn't even begin to live up to her horrible reputation, you're damned right I will. And if they have anything to say about you, it better be nice. Friends, family and loved ones, I don't let anybody dis my people." Becka felt the lump return to her throat, and had to blink away the tears that were forming in her eyes. Damn, she was crying more now than she had the year her mother died, only these were a different kind of tear. She reached out with one finger and let it brush lightly against Gia's palm, a substitute for the way she really wanted to grasp Gia's hand and squeeze it tight. Despite the other girl's brave words, though, she wasn't ready yet to compromise her reputation in front of the whole school. "Thank you," she said softly, and Gia's smile told her that she understood what she was really thanking her for. Becka looked away first, to break the connection. She had to swallow before she could talk again. "So, what do you think they're going to say? About you hanging with me all the time, I mean." Gia gave a show of considering it, but the truth was she had already made her plans. She had talked it over with her Dad the night before, and knew what she had to do. 'You just can't drop your whole life, friends and everything for this girl, Gia. It just wouldn't be right. And if you became the only good thing in her life, that wouldn't really be helping her either, now would it?' "Let's find out," she said, picking up their lunch and jamming it into her lunch box. Before the protesting Becka knew what was going on she had found herself hustled over to the table where Gia's friends now greeted them with opened mouths and stunned expressions. "Hi guys, do you mind if Becka and I sit with you? Thanks. Becka, you sit here next to me and Sammie. Kelly, maybe you better close your mouth before something flies in it, you think?" Gia hadn't even waited for the other girls to answer before she had already set her and Becka down and started unpacking the lunchbox. They looked at each other and then they looked at Becka, and then they looked at each other looking at Becka. They didn't seem to know what to make of her. It was as if some huge bear had come out of the woods and sat down at their table to have porridge with them. Becka felt herself getting mad, but she controlled it. Gia seemed to know what she was doing, or at least acted like it, and for Gia's sake she could act cool. Gia chattered on, completely ignoring the uncomfortable silence. She tried again and again to start a conversation, her obvious goal being to bring Becka into it. She wanted her friends to see Becka as a person, and not as a myth, not as 'Becka the Beast'. She thought that she could show them the girl who missed her mother so much that she wore her jacket everywhere she went. And maybe they would also see the girl who was so afraid of being hurt that she would rather spend a night in 'that house' than face the chance of being rejected by Gia's family. And then, if they could only see all the many complex sides of her friend, than maybe they could finally put 'the Beast' to rest. But it wasn't working. Becka had almost no social skills at all, and the other three girls were too nervous about the bear in their midst to loosen up. It ended up with Gia chattering along like a magpie, and the other four girls answering her questions with single syllable words or non-committal noises. Gia was trying, but the effort to keep the impossible situation going was beginning to wear on even her indomitable spirit. But strangely enough, the strained attempt at conversation had an entirely different effect on Becka. Unlike Gia she understood the situation completely. It was familiar ground to her, and that very familiarity was serving to soothe her unease at being in their presence. What Gia didn't understand was these three little Gap girls weren't just uncomfortable with Becka's presence. They were afraid of her. Unlike Gia, they had probably never thrown a punch in their entire lives, never got into an altercation more violent that a little hair pulling. And now here they were, suddenly faced with a girl who routinely beat kids like them bloody. No wonder they acted like they were trapped, they probably thought that they were. But with the answer to the question also came the solution to the problem. If these three little princesses couldn't relax while they were afraid of her, then she just had to find a way to make them feel safe. And just what would make you feel safe sitting at a table with a bear? How about your very own bear? She waited until Gia's desperate attempt at conversation had lagged, when even her new friend had finally run out of gas and the other three girls were preparing their escape. And from out of the blue, the bear spoke. "Hey, did Gia ever tell you guys how she and I met?" Three sets of ears perked up, as Gia's friends suddenly showed some interest in the conversation. Their curiosity was definitely peaked, the question of what Gia and Becka could possibly have in common had been the hot topic in their little group for the past two days. After exchanging a few nervous looks, Sammie finally took the lead. "Um, are you talking about the first day of school? 'Cause I was there, and I saw the whole thing." "Uh huh. So what did you see?" Sammie blushed, most of her courage now depleted. "Um, well, I saw Gia lying on the ground. She must have fallen down - " "I pushed her." Sammie blinked, shocked at the other girl's admission. "When you say you pushed her, um, do you mean that - " "I mean that I knocked her down, and I called her a stupid cunt. But no, that's not the time I meant. I mean the time I met her this last Monday." Sammie could only goggle at the other girl, and Justine and Kelly found themselves feeling likewise. As one they all glanced over at Gia, whose face remained impassive. She didn't know what Becka had in mind, but whatever it was she was determined to back her up on it. Underneath the table where no one could see, she let her hand drop to the side and gently brush against Becka's knee. Becka continued. "Yeah, see, it was Monday, and I saw Gia leaving gym class and going into the locker room all by herself. So I followed her in there." "You followed her into the locker room? Why? I mean ... what were you going to do?" "I was going to beat the crap out of her." A stunned silence followed this incredible news, the three girls eyes bouncing back and forth between Becka and her 'victim', their friend who obviously bore no marks from the kind of ordeal the older girl had just confessed to planning. Gia hid a smile. She had finally figured out what her new lover was up to. "Wait a minute, wait, wait..." Sammie was completely flustered. She shook her head as if to clear it from a fog of conflicting information. "You're saying that you beat up Gia in the locker room last Monday?" "No, I didn't say that. I said I followed her into the locker to beat her up, but obviously I didn't." "Well, what happened then?" "She was standing at her locker, working the lock. She had her back too me. I came up behind her and shoved her as hard as I could face first into the locker." "Oh my GOD! And you admit it? I mean, what happened then?" "Gia beat the crap out of me." The statement hung in the air like the lingering effects of a tolling bell. The incredulous looks the three girls wore were so comical that both Gia and Becka had to laugh out loud. Then Gia explained about her family's background in the martial arts, and the dojo her father and brothers ran, and when it all made sense Gia and Becka found that everything had changed. The tension at the table melted like snowfall in July. The three girls may have been afraid of Becka, but they had never been afraid of Gia, and now Gia could obviously protect them from 'the Beast'. They were no longer frightened of her, the bear had had its claws pulled, and trepidation was now replaced by an insatiable curiosity. For possibly the first time in her life, Becka found herself the center of friendly attention, and she liked it. At their insistence she and Gia had gone over the fight in the locker room, step by step, although they had tactfully edited out the sexual nature of the assault. Becka told how she had been kicked in the stomach, and then found herself face down on the ground with Gia's foot in her face. Gia demonstrated wrist holds and takedowns with an eager Kelly for a volunteer, but Becka countered by lifting up her T-shirt to display the purple-green bruise right above her navel from where Gia had kicked her. Gia winced, feeling a touch of guilt, but got over it quickly as she saw how Becka was displaying the mark proudly, almost like a badge of honor. She even let Sammie and Justine touch it. When lunch ended the party broke up reluctantly, but with the understanding that they would share the noon meal again the next day. Becka was the most reluctant of them all, being unwilling to let go of this unfamiliar feeling, instinctively afraid that it would be taken away from her. She watched Gia walk away and felt her heart lurch, with the irrational fear that she would never see her again. It didn't make sense, but she felt it anyway. Was this why dogs howled when you left them all alone? * * * But the school day ended, and Gia was there out front waiting for her. After a quick discussion they decided to check out some of the stores downtown, and after a quick call to her father to let him know that she would be late, they caught a city bus at the stop in front of the school. Becka found herself both excited and tense. It seemed such a normal thing to do, two girlfriends going shopping together, but Becka had never gone shopping with anyone before in her life. Once a week her old man would throw some money at her and tell her to get some groceries, and every fall when school started he would drop her off at the Goodwill store with $100 to get some new clothes, but other than that the only shopping she did was of the five fingered discount variety. She hadn't planned on going shopping with Gia, and in fact hadn't been home in two days, so she hadn't had any chance to dip into her stash of money. But long ago she had sewn fifty dollars into the lining of her mother's denim jacket, in case she ever had to run away and leave everything behind. She had earmarked the money for life threatening emergencies only, but she quickly decided that this qualified. She would have rather died than miss out on this afternoon with Gia. The day ended up being a whirlwind, with Becka hanging on to Gia for dear life. Like most California girls her age, Gia was a power shopper, and firmly believed that any store you missed was bound to have all the best stuff. In three hours they must have hit over twenty stores, trying on clothes, shoes, jewelry, and perfume. They listened to CDs at the music store, and browsed the books at Barnes & Noble. The later surprised Gia, as it had been Becka's idea to go there. When she saw the knowledgeable way in which Becka walked the aisles and pointed out her favorites to Gia, she chided herself on falling into the sin of stereotyping. Just because she dressed like a tramp and was the school bully didn't mean she was stupid. Becka liked to read Science Fiction and Stephen King, and the courtroom thrillers by John Grisham. She also liked looking in the Art books section, where she took down a coffee table book about sketch portraits. Gia watched her friend's face closely, and was surprised to the change that came over her. The grim and angry girl she had come to know was gone, replaced by the visage of a little girl filled with the wonder of magic. Her eyes were wide, drinking in every line and shading, hungrily devouring the works of long dead masters. Her lips were parted slightly, and Gia could just make out a flash of white teeth and the pink wet tip of a tongue. Another aspect of her lover that Gia knew nothing about. She felt a sudden flash of desire so strong, she had to turn away to hide the flush on her face. She resolved to find out more about Becka's interest in art. At Sears Gia finally persuaded Becka to buy some clothes, a green skirt and a long sleeved blouse that were on sale. Becka never wore pretty clothes, and in fact she hadn't worn a dress since her mother's funeral. Her clothes were either sexless or masculine, baggy, in order to hide her figure. It was a survival ploy, it never paid to advertise that she was female around her old man and his 'friend's. But Becka fell in love with the outfit, she liked the way it made her look and made her feel. She rationalized that she could keep it at school and always change before she got home. Gia found her the perfect pair of shoes to go with her new outfit at the Shoe Tree, but Becka declined, saying that her Nike sneakers were only a month old. The truth was she was almost out of money. But she marked the shoes in her memory, and resolved to come back that weekend and shoplift them. After all, that's how she got the Nikes. When they finally stopped at McDonald's for dinner, Gia insisted on buying. Becka allowed it, deciding that it made the perfect opening for her to give Gia the present she had bought. Shyly, she handed Gia the bag from the music store containing the CD, 'Mizundahstood' by Pink. She had purposely left the receipt in the bag, not so Gia could exchange it, but to show that she had actually paid for it. Becka's attitude on stealing was pretty flexible, but she figured that Gia's wasn't, and she would never even consider giving the girl a stolen present. Gia was touched by the gift, and she really hadn't expected it. She already had the album at home, but she would never tell Becka that. She could see the gift meant far more to the bigger girl than it did to her. She gave Becka a hug and whispered, "Thank you." Becka was more than a bit surprised by Gia's action, and glanced around nervously. She knew that it was acceptable for girlfriends to hug and even hold hands in public, and nobody assumed that it was sexual, but part of her still expected people to stare and point at them. But when that didn't happen she decided that it was a good idea after all, and smiled when she hugged Gia back. Over a Big Macs and fries, Gia brought up the subject of Becka's interest in art. Shyly, Becka admitted that she loved to draw, and that Art was the only subject in school where she got all A's. Then Gia asked if she had any of her sketches with her, Becka blushed furiously, but them wordlessly she reached into her book bag and pulled out an eight by ten spiral notebook. She watched anxiously as Gia opened it up and began to page. Gia gasped in surprise. The pictures before her were beautiful! They were mostly pencil, and some with ink, but all of them seemed to be of almost professional quality. Her friend seemed to have both talent and an unlimited range, drawing everything and anything with an equal degree. Landscapes and portraits, buildings, still life or action, each one was rendered with an amazing attention to detail. Even on the lined notepaper, they looked like they could come alive at any minute and start talking to her. "Oh, Becka, these are wonderful! Little girl, you have so much talent. Do you do portraits? Will you do one of me?" Becka felt her whole body suddenly go all warm at Gia's praise. She felt like she had been taking a series of tests, and that with each one she passed the voice she had heard all of her life was just a little fainter. 'Stupid bitch. Stupid, worthless little bitch. You're useless, why the hell I saddle myself with your scrawny ass is a fucking mystery to me.' Her old man's words. Beating her down, telling her every day that she was nothing, no one, just a waste of oxygen and space. Those words had hurt as bad as the beatings, maybe even the rapes, because they lasted longer. But now though, to see herself through Gia's eyes, she knew that those words were lies. She had worth, and somebody did care about her. "Yeah. Yeah, sure Gia. Anytime you want. I just want to get some better paper is all, okay?" Gia heard the emotion in Becka's voice, and saw the way she was struggling to remain nonchalant. She felt her heart go out again to her lover, a young girl who was so lonely that she could be this moved by simple praise. Gia shoved a last french-fry in her mouth and washed it down with the rest of her Coke. She started gathering up their purchases and said, "C'mon, we've got time for one more stop before my brother picks us up." Becka groaned as Gia pulled her by the hand and down to the other end of the mall, but she stopped when she saw their destination. Gia had brought them to an arts supply store! Without a word but with an energy that topped her earlier shopping blitz, the smaller purchased a thick artist's sketchbook and a box of multi colored conte' crayons. Becka was speechless when Gia handed her the bag of art supplies, she just let the tears well from her eyes and down her cheeks. Gia took her in her arms, right there in the middle of the mall, neither caring who might see or what they might think. After a while, she whispered in Gia's ear, "I want you so bad!" "Me too, little girl. I want you, too." As the mall started closing down, Gia led Becka out to an exit into the parking lot. There they found a bench behind a planter, away from the lights, where they could see out but not be seen. They sat there for a while, just holding hands, and then at some sort of signal that neither remember giving they were holding each other, and kissing. Like the night before there was passion there, but no lust, just the need to hold and love and to be loved in turn. Pretty soon the kissing stopped, but they held each other tight until they saw Roberto pull up in his car. Gia introduced Becka to her brother as they climbed into the back. Gia sat behind her brother and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and playfully ruffled his hair. She sat back and looked over at Becka, who she had expected to sit next to her. Instead she saw, to her surprise, that Gia was hunched over in the corner, as far away as she could get, and apparently trying to make herself as small as possible. Gia was shocked! By now she knew the signs, and it was obvious that something was scaring Becka. And unless her friend had a phobia about fire engine red convertibles, than Becka must be afraid of her brother Roberto! It didn't make sense! Although 'Berto was tall at 6'4", he wasn't built like a refrigerator, like the other men in her family. Like Gia he took after their mother and was rapier thin, and moved with the fluid grace of a jungle cat. Gia had seen him at the martial arts school, and knew about his incredible speed, and that he was by far the best fighter in the family next to their Dad, but he was so thin you would never know that. Plus her brother was movie star handsome, there was no reason at all why Becka should be this afraid of him. Unless ... unless it was just because he was a man? With a sudden sickening of her stomach, Gia remembered something she had read in one of the abuse victims websites a few days ago. Some victims who had been sexually abused by multiple males became fearful around all males. Just being in the presence of a man, even a none threatening one like a priest or a doctor, could cause them to feel an acute anxiety. But what the website stressed about this symptom, was that it was always indicative of multiple abusers. What this implied about Becka's home life was too horrible to for Gia to comprehend in one night. When they got to Becka's house she scrambled out of the car in an unseemly, but now understandable haste. She stood for a second sucking in great lungs full of the night air, as if trying to catch her breath. The panic she had felt at the close confines of the car was ebbing, and she was even able to thank Gia's brother for the ride. She asked Gia if she could please keep her purchases for her and give them to her at school, and loved her for nodding and not asking questions. She gave Becka's hand a squeeze, and they watched each other as Roberto drove away, until they were lost from each other's sight. It turned out that she needn't have bothered about leaving her stuff with Gia, the old man wasn't home. He had left some money on the counter along with a shopping list, mostly packaged foods and cold cuts. There was no note, there never was, but she knew that he was probably on another dug run to Nevada. With a little luck he wouldn't be back again for a few days. Becka took a shower, and then fell into her bed exhausted, too tired to even dream. * * * When Gia got home she went immediately to find her father, who was sitting in his favorite easy chair and watching TV. Without a word she picked up the remote control and turned the set off, and then curled up in her father's lap and began to cry. Phil Cameron was startled by this, but wise enough to know when to keep quiet and just be there for someone. After about ten minutes of holding on and taking comfort in her father's bigness, she began to talk. She told her father about her day with Becka, and how they had met for lunch. She told about how she had introduced Becka to her friends, and the uncomfortable time that had followed, until Becka had found out how to dispel it and be accepted by Gia's friends. Then she told about the shopping trip, and about the way the simplest things seemed to mean so much to Becka, and of how Becka had so shyly given her the Pink CD. S he told him about Becka's notebook, and her interest in art, and animatedly tried to describe how incredibly talented Becka was. She told him about the sketchbook and crayons she had bought for Becka, and of how she had broken down and cried when she gave them to her. And then she told him about the ride home, and how Becka had seemed to be panicking, just being in the same car as Roberto. She explained about the abuse websites, and the terrible things she thought might have been done to a girl that she had so obviously begun to care about very much. By the time she was finished Gia was crying again, and her father wasn't feeling too dry-eyed either. Phil Cameron had a big heart, and a generous soul, and he was fiercely protective of the people he loved. He knew that his daughter was courting trouble, getting involved with this other girl and the violence in her life. Kids with that kind of background had so much stacked against them that sometimes it was impossible to really help them, and if anything happened to the girl Gia would certainly take the blame on herself. It looked like an inevitable heartbreak lay ahead for his daughter, but Phil never once thought about trying to dissuade Gia from helping Becka out however she could. He thought about their options, and then finally he spoke. "Okay, honey, this is the way I see it. Your friend is in an abusive environment, and like most victims is afraid to talk about it. You've tried to get her away from there so that you can talk to her, but she's too afraid to spend any time over here in a house full of strange men. So what we gotta do is make it so that she does feel safe to come over." Gia frowned, not following her father's logic. "How are we going to do that, Oso?" "Simple. If Mohammed won't go to the mountain, then just move the goddamned mountain. Hey George, Johnny, Bobby, front and center, NOW! Andale!" This last was shouted in a voice that echoed through the large rambling house like gravel in a steel drum, and presently all three of his sons were in the living room. They were all big and fully grown young men, and in there presence the large and comfortable living room had seemed to shrink considerably. "What's up, Dad?" said George, his oldest, who stood wiping his hands on an oily rag. George was always working on one of the classic cars he so liked restoring, which was probably why he was still living at home even after college. There was no way he could ever find a place of his own that had a better equipped garage. "Don't make any plans for this weekend. Friday night we're heading out to go fishing at your uncle Mike's cabin at Big Bear." Of course there was the expected complaints and reasons about why it was just impossible for them to drop everything and leave this weekend, but their father was adamant, and they finally gave in with fairly good grace. They actually did enjoy their fishing trips with their father, and in fact were already looking forward to the opportunity of taking him in poker. Yeah, in your dreams, boys. While the three younger Cameron men were making plans for the trip, Phil took his daughter aside for a little chat. "Of course, I don't like leaving you here all alone, honey, so it sure would help matters if you know of someone who can stay here with you for the weekend. You know, someone a little older, say seventeen or so?" Gia grinned, matching the twinkle in her father's eye. If he only knew what else she and Becka would be doing while he and the boys were gone. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed, whispered in his ear, "You're the best, Oso." "Number one with a bullet, honey," he whispered back. (continued)