Kiss My Ashlyn: 2 Girls 4 Kaylyn - Episode 3 "Splish Splash"

Written by: TVM (



"I don't have anything nice to wear," Kacey said into the phone as I pulled up in front of my house and turned off the car.

"What do you mean?" I asked Kacey. "You don't have anything to wear to Nessa and Lila's?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

"Wear the same thing you wore today," I said. "Nessa and Lila don't care."

"I look like a bum," she complained.

"Then I do too because I'm wearing a Wal*Mart t-shirt and jeans from JC Penny," I said. "So stop complaining."

"There's a huge difference between Wal*Mart and JC Penny and the goodwill," she said.

"And there's another place I've shopped," I said. "Ashlyn took me there plenty of times with Miranda. They have some nice stuff."

"You should be on the debate team," Kacey said in a defeated voice. "I'll find something to wear."

"Good and I'll be by to pick you up about 7," I said. "OK?"

"Mom's working late tonight so whatever you wanna do we can," she said in a flirty voice.

"Maybe a little strap-on anal?" I asked as she giggled. Little did she know that I would love to do that to her after what I saw in those 'Sandwich It' videos.

"If you wanted it you could probably talk me into it," Kacey said as my ears perked up considerably at that announcement. "See ya 7."

"Bye," I said as I got out of the car and moments later opened the front door and spotted a couple pairs of shoes laying just inside and that told me Jennifer was here. "Matty?"

"No answer," I said as I climbed the steps and heard some weird music for a moment and then it cut off. I walked down the hall and stopped in front of Matty's door and heard some whispering and scrambling. "Matty?"

"What?" she asked as I opened the door and saw her under the covers and fiddling with her t-shirt and Jennifer's blond hair as it disappeared into the bathroom. "When did you get home?"

"Just now and what are two doing?" I asked.

"WATCHING MOVIES," Jennifer chimed in from the bedroom.

"She speaks for you now?" I asked Matty.

"No, she's right," Matty said as she wiggled around a bit under the covers before sliding out of bed and joining me. "Watching movies. And since when do you just walk into my room?"

"Since you didn't lock the door dummy," I said as she blushed. "Real smart."

"We weren't doing anything so we didn't need to lock the door," Jennifer said as she came out of the bathroom.

"Right and Max (our deceased family dog) is downstairs eating right now," I said. "You two lezzies hungry?"

"We are not lezzies," Jennifer declared.

"She's right," Matty confirmed. "Don't you have to have sex with another girl to be a lesbian?"

"No," I said as both blushed. "It means you like girls and not guys. Usually just girls."

"OH," Jennifer said. "I think I'll go home now. Bye Matty."

"She is weird," I said after Jennifer had left the house and Matty and I were now standing at the bottom of the stairs. "She your girlfriend yet?"

"Bite me," Matty said as she walked off towards the kitchen. "Stay out of my life."

"You're the little nympho that bragged to me about your masturbation record," I said as she grinned and shrugged. "Now you want me to stay out of your life?"

"You said you didn't wanna hear about it anymore," she said with a defiant look. She got me there.

"OK, I do wanna hear about it if you're having sex," I said.

"I'm not," Matty said. "I don't even know any boys I'd wanna have sex with."

"You can have sex with girls too stupid," I said.

"Can't wait to try that," Matty said with a horny smile as I sat down on the stool by the bar and laughed. "Wanna watch?"

"Yes I do," I said as I latched onto her arm and dragged her over to me and started tickling her as my revenge. She squealed and laughed and fought loose just as Mom and Dad came in the back door with a load of groceries.

"What is going on?" Mom (Kay) asked.

"Kaylyn is molesting me," Matty announced.

"You have a dirty mind," Dad (David) said to Matty as she laughed.

"And I wonder where she gets that from?" I asked Dad as I took two huge bags from mom's arms.

"Your mother of course," Dad said as Matty and I laughed.

"David Alan Kersh you best stop if you don't wanna sleep on the couch," Mom said as a warning.

"Then maybe I could get away from your snoring," Dad said as Mom chased him out of the room with a dish towel. Matty and I were still laughing as we put away the rest of the groceries. Dad ducked back into the kitchen and announced, "I think someone said something to upset your mother."

"Yeah you," Matty said with a finger point and squealed when Dad took off after her and chased her around the counter in the kitchen and out the back door. Dad ran out onto the back porch as Matty ran down the steps and into the yard. I snuck up to the door and pushed it shut and locked it behind him. I laughed when he realized what I'd done. I grinned victoriously as he tried the knob and found it was locked. Though I was the one who got it good as Mom had snuck up behind me in the chaos and wrapped me in her arms and held me while unlocking the door.

"You should have stayed out this," Dad said as I kicked at him when he tried to grab me and got myself in more trouble, as he grabbed my legs. He and Mom then carried me, kicking and screaming, down the back steps and towards the pool. Their plan being to fire me into the water. But it was Matty who saved me as she came out of her hiding place (under the pool side table) and poked Mom in the ribs before Mom knew what hit her. Mom, the ever ticklish one, released me, sending me crashing to the grass. Mom looked back to see Matty grinning but couldn't react before Matty grunted and pushed the old girl into the pool just as I did Dad the same way with my legs that he was hanging onto.

"Yeah baby," Matty and I said in unison as we smacked a high five.

"Kids 2, parents zero," Matty said teasingly.

"OH GOD!" I screamed as Mom and dad made their way out of the pool and the chase was on again. So much fun being a Kersh on days like these.

"Mom, Dad I'm going out for a while," I said a few hours later as I came down the steps and saw them and Matty watching a movie in the living room.

"And where is out?" Mom asked.

"On the other side of the front door?" I asked as Matty laughed.

"Where are you going?" Dad asked pointedly and that usually means he doesn't wanna hear anymore smart ass remarks.

"Going to Vanessa and Lila's for dinner," I said softly. "Lila's cooking and she's gonna be devastated if I don't show."

"Over dramatic," Matty said as I pointed at her as a warning.

"Well I'm going," I said and was relieved when I heard no other protests and was able to escape to the safety of the car. I was just about to pull out when a tapping on the drivers side window about scared the pee out of me. "Jennifer? What do you need?"

"Can I talk to you?" she asked with a worried look on her face.

"I'm on my way out and can't right now," I said.

"How do you know when you're gay?" she blurted out.

"I have no idea," I said. "Why do you think you are?"

"No," Jennifer said all too quickly and abruptly turned and walked off.

"You and Matty are both lesbos I bet," I said under my breath as I pulled out and turned towards Kacey's place on the other side of town. I pulled up in front of her place a little over 15 minutes later and tapping on the horn. Seeing no movement from inside I tapped again and only drew a dirty look from an old lady now standing on her porch and staring me down. Kacey appeared at the window over looking the parking lot and I wondered what she was doing when she motioned to the front door of her apartment. "What do you want? We're already late. Kacey, come on."

It finally dawned on me that she apparently wanted me to meet her at the front door and pick her up properly. I groaned in frustration as I got out and came up the walk and tapped on the door. She opened the door and looked really nice in a pair of simple jeans and a t-shirt that read "Normal People Scare Me". Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Thought you might not be coming," she said. "And where's my flowers and candy?"

"At the store," I said as she laughed. "Can we go? Lila and Vanessa are waiting on us."

"We could have already been on our way if you'd pick me up like a proper date," she said as she slipped out the door and locked it behind her.

"You're saying I'm not a proper date and you're wearing a t-shirt that reads, normal people scare me?" I asked as she laughed.

"Oh damn I was gonna change after my shower," she said. "I had another one laid out to wear."

"No way, goodwill Barbie," I said as I took her hand in mine and stopped her.

"What did you call me?"

"I called you goodwill Barbie," I said. "And I'm T.J. Maxx Barbie and we're on our way to see Wal*Mart Barbie, so can we go?"

"You're making fun of me," she said with a determined look.

"No, I'm not and you look really pretty tonight," I said as she blushed and smiled.

"I'm beginning to think that you like me a bit more than you admit," she said as I shrugged. But privately I had to admit that she was dead-on in that commentary. I had spent the better part of the day thinking about her and this date had become something I was looking forward to. Fortunately, as we piled into the car there were no other distractions and about 15 minutes later we arrived at Vanessa and Lila's apartment.

"Finally!" Vanessa said as she met us at the door. "Dinner's been ready for about 2 hours."

"Well if you cooked it then that wouldn't matter now would it?" I asked as Kacey laughed and Vanessa stuck out her tongue in protest. Lila came out of the bedroom and smiled as she saw us.

"Hey how you feeling?" I asked Lila as she welcomed my hug.

"I have more good days than bad now," Lila said. "Still a battle getting my strength back."

"And some days she'll even let me do things for her," Vanessa said.

"I'm not your baby," Lila said as Vanessa came over and kissed her cheek and replied, "Yes you are."

"AWWWW," Kacey and I chimed in unison as Lila blushed and offered no denial. Kacey then hugged my arm, wanting to be introduced.

"This is my friend, Kacey," I said.

"Hi," Kacey said with a nervous wave. "Vanessa talks about you all the time."

"And she has a big mouth," Lila said as she motioned Kacey over and hugged her. "Any friend of Kaylyn's is a friend of mine."

"So how are you doing after your surgery?" Kacey asked bluntly. "Vanessa was talking about it."

"Well they fixed the problem and now it's just a matter of working my way back to full strength," Lila said as she and Kacey sat down on the couch. "A pin hole in my heart was the problem."

"It'd been there since birth," Vanessa chimed in. "And just got slowly worse until they had to do surgery on it."

"Yeah I put it off as long as I could," Lila said. "Finally, Nessa made me go to the doctor and they told me I had to have it operated on."

"You were pretty scared, I bet," Kacey said.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Lila admitted.

"And her fucking parents refused to even see her after they found out we were living together," Vanessa said as I sat down in the chair. "Bigots somehow got the idea we were involved and at that time we actually weren't."

"So with no way to pay for the surgery I didn't know what I was gonna do," Lila said. "Until Nessa's Mom, Barb, offered to pay for it in full."

"With Dad's divorce money," Vanessa said as everyone laughed.

"I knew then she would do anything for me," Lila said as she slid across the couch and back into Vanessa's arms. "Right?"

"I did then and I would now," Vanessa said.

"Is that when you fell in love with her?" Kacey asked.

"That confirmed it," Lila said. "I always loved her in one way or the other. Since Ashlyn and Miranda moved to California she's pretty much the only friend I have left from my high school years. So..."

"...we started hanging out about five years ago and then decided to move in together to save some money," Vanessa picked up the story. "Mom's suggestion."

"And just as I was getting a leg up in my job at the publishing house I started having health problems," Lila said. "And it just got worse until I had to quit."

"You still haven't gone back to work?" I asked.

"Nope not yet," Lila said.

"I've repeatedly told her she doesn't have to," Vanessa said. "My job at the school pays enough to cover the basics and we earn a little bit of money on the side doing other things to cover expenses."

"Barb's not helping?" I asked.

"If we bothered to ask she would," Vanessa said. "But we're determined to make it through this on our own terms."

"If I had a rich mom I'd so be sponging off her," Kacey said as we all laughed.

"Mooch," I said to Kacey as she grinned. "Show them your t-shirt."

"Normal people scare me," Lila read aloud a moment later as Kacey blushed. "So funny. Then you got nothing to worry about here."

"That's one thing I can bet Nessa has never been called is normal," I said as Vanessa gave me a dirty look.

"So true to baby," Lila said as she kissed Vanessa's cute lips. "You're not normal. But I love you anyway."

"Can we eat before you two make me sick?" I asked.

"Why they gonna make you sick?" Kacey asked as she came over and kicked my foot. "You made it with me for hours last night."

"O-M-G Kaylyn you slut," Vanessa said in shock as Kacey smiled victoriously.

"You wouldn't even know how to... make it... if it bit you on the ass," I fired back at Kacey.

"She's good in bed too," Kacey said to Vanessa.

"So is she," Vanessa said as she pointed to Lila.

"Vanessa Rosewood you motor mouth liar," Lila said with a crimson blush covering her face. "You know that is..."

"...not true. I know," Vanessa finished for her. "We both know what we did last night whether you wanna admit it or not."

"That does not mean you have the right to tell everyone about our private life," Lila said and as much as confirming what Vanessa had claimed.

"You two did but we didn't," I said as I stood. "And you Kacey Ericsson are gonna tell them the truth."

"About what?" Kacey asked with a comically innocent expression.

"You saying I had sex with you," I reminded her.

"Well aren't you the one with the dirty mind," Kacey said as she tickled me under the chin and laughed when I pushed her hand away. "When I said making it, I didn't mean sex. You just wanted it to mean that. I was talking about making it, t-shirts."

"Liar," I accused her as she wiggled her head back and forth teasingly with a victorious grin on her face as Lila and Vanessa laughed. "If you don't stop picking on me I'm going home."

"No, you are not," Vanessa said as her and Lila got up to join us. "You like it when she picks on you cause she's a challenge."

"Can we eat?" I asked as Vanessa nodded and motioned for us to follow her.

The dinner Lila had prepared was excellent even it was a bit green for my taste. Lila was feeling a bit tired after dinner and decided to go on to bed a bit early as Kacey and I quickly said goodbye to them and made our exit. We soon found ourselves strolling down the street and looking in the shop windows not too far from Vanessa and Lila's place and chatting about one thing and another.

"You know even though this wasn't exactly a real date I had a lot of fun," Kacey said as I grinned. I had too.

"Me too," I admitted. "It's been a lot more fun than I could have hoped."

"So maybe you are gay after all," she teased.

"Maybe I just had a good time with my friends and you tagged along," I teased back.

"You're a tough nut to crack Kaylyn Kersh," she commented with a grin. "By the way, when do I meet your Mom and Dad?"

"You don't," I said as she rolled her eyes. "If they know I been hanging out with someone from the wrong side of the tracks they'd... they'd..."

"Kick you out of the snob club?" Kacey asked as I laughed. "Seriously?"

"Before we get into all that why don't we go... on a real date..." I heard my mouth say and felt my stomach grow a few butterflies. But Kacey wasn't exactly listening as she had her attention diverted to the artwork in the window of the Tattoo & Spurs place in front of us. "Kacey?"

"Look at the cool tattoos," she said as she looked at each one. "I want that one."

"I don't believe you'd look good with a shoulder to butt crack tattoo of the Battleship Texas," I said as she giggled.

"Not that one smart ass," she said as she pointed to another. "Rose pedal."

"I don't like tattoos personally," I said. "Unattractive."

"So you're saying if we started to date that I couldn't get one with your name on it?" Kacey asked as she pointed to a picture of what looked to be a small heart shaped tattoo on the side of someones butt cheek that read, 'Stacey hearts Ali'. "Like that one. Just says who I love. If I did love you."

"No, because that shit is permanent," I said. "And... wait, what does that say?"

"Stacey hearts Ali," Kacey repeated as we knelt down and took a closer look. "That heart in the center means love, right?"

"Yeah," I confirmed. "And do you think that could be the two we know?"

"Nawwww," Kacey said as if that was crazy. "I mean, it couldn't be."

"Could be," I said. "Think about it, how many people do you know that go by the nickname Ali? Even spelled the same way?"

"Only one," Kacey said. "But those two?"

"Weirder things have happened," I said.

"OK, reality check here," Kacey said. "I know for a fact, from gawking at her ass in the shower after gym, that Stacey has a birth mark on her left cheek. About right here. It's a small strawberry bump"

"Like this one?" I asked as I pointed to the picture and the same place on the girl's in the pic as Kacey had pointed to on her body.

"Holy crap it is her," she said as we looked at each other in shock.

"Stacey and Ali are lesbians?" I asked.

"I guess so," Kacey said.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW gross," I said as we broke up laughing.