Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 12:17:42 EDT
From: Tml5476@aol.com
Subject: A Possible Romance Part II F/F

"A Possible Romance"
By Shelshey Stevens

    Well, the last time we talked Jamie was a 14 year old junior high school
student who I was deeply infatuated with.  Now it had only been about a month
since I last saw her in person, she would sometimes call and write, but most
often I would get an instant message from her and we would stay online
talking for hours.  She's now in Tenn. visiting her dad, and I'm away at
college for the summer semester.  The last time we talked before my
graduation was at our spring sports reception after the season. I told her
that I would be at home and attending school at community college, that way I
would be around for her, or more she would be around for me.  I guess I was
thinking more about myself than her at the time. So I left home to go to an
out of state community college for the summer. I even knew that I would be
making a huge mistake if I took this any further, but she was now insisting
on us being together and I myself wanted to be with her, I knew it wasn't for
the best.  Her birthday was June 14 and she wanted me to visit her at her
dad's place.  I was a bit reluctant at first, but I knew I had to talk to her
face to face if I was going to put an end to it all.  So I confirmed the
plans to visit with her and I left on the 15.
    When I first got there I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if she
would be mad at me for not telling her my plans for school or what.  I got
there around 6:00 p.m.  She was waiting for me on the front porch with her
dad and brothers.  I didn't feel at all comfortable, but she ran out and gave
me the biggest hug I had ever received, and then all my plans of ending the
relationship went flying out the window.  Her dad and brothers came out and
got my bags.  While Jamie and I were still hugging.  She grabbed my hand and
led me into the house.  It took me about thirty minutes to get all settled
because I had a distraction with her soft kisses and gentle embraces, after I
was done unpacking we were off.  I so much wanted to be alone with her, but
her dad made us bring her little brothers along with us so there wasn't much
that we could discuss with the two of them around.  So we just grabbed
something to eat and went to see a movie.
    The movie was a great opportunity for us to be alone in the dark.  Her
brothers met up with some of their friends in the theater and took off.  The
movie wasn't at all interesting, so that gave us the excuse to leave.  She
found her brothers in another theater, and told them that we would be back to
get them in a little bit, but they told her it wasn't necessary they would
ride home with Colin and Seth.  So we left.  I asked her where she wanted to
go, she told me she didn't know, so I instinctively aimed my car back to her
dad's.  She got a little pissed at me because I was in a sense taking her
home, she didn't want to go home.  I sensed her unhappiness and asked her
what was wrong, and then it all started.  It all came out in one big ass
raging ball of heat.
    "Why are you here the day after my birthday?  Why aren't you going to
school at home?  What the hell am I supposed to do in the fall when I go back
home and you're not there?  Why don't you want to be alone with me, why are
you taking me home?  And where the hell is my birthday present?"  With all of
that I said,
    "Because I had classes yesterday, I am only in school for the summer
semester, I will be at home in the fall.  I do want to be alone with you,
it's just taking a while for me to get used to this, I'm taking you home
because we need to talk, and your gift is under your seat."
    "Under what seat" she asked me.  I told her under the seat she was
sitting in.  She pulled the small box from under the seat of the car and
looked up at me and smiled.  "I'm sorry I'm being so bitchy, I just wanted
you here yesterday, and I was looking for an excuse to be angry at you
because you never told me you wouldn't be at home for the summer.  But I
guess I wasn't at all honest with you, I didn't tell you I was leaving for
the summer."
    I told her it was okay, and to open her gift.  It wasn't much, a picture
of her sitting on my lap after my first home game of the season in a sterling
silver softball framed that I had made.  I was all sweaty with my cringed red
uniform on, she was wearing her street clothes and my sports jacket.  It was
an innocent pose then, there were no ulterior motives at the time, she was
just a bestfriend/teammate congratulating me after the game.  That picture of
the two of us meant so much to me, and I didn't realize it would have the
effect on her that it did.  She started to cry uncontrollably.  Then I think
we both realized what was going on between us couldn't go any further.  It
hurt like hell, but then it was for the best.
     I hadn't really loved anyone as much as I loved Jamie, and she knew it.
In the car that night she told me how much she loved me, but for the time
being we were better off as friends.  I couldn't argue because she was right.
 I'm just glad the voice of reason was heard that night.  I think if that
photo hadn't been her gift, and we hadn't realized the great relationship we
had, I probably would have lost the best thing in my life.  Sex tends to
complicate matters, even more than they already are.  I does hurt not being
able to be with Jamie physically, but I think it would have hurt even more if
we has slept together that night, and lost our friendship.
    That night on the bus, I was in love, I she was also, but I think that
love was consumed with lust. The lust of two horny teenagers who had been
thrown together and who were looking for a release.  We both knew that if we
were to remain friends we had to revamp our relationship.  We both cried, and
laughed at the fact that we almost slept together, and what story we would
tell my former coaches and teammates when their season started.  We didn't
know at all how our parents would handle it all.  So we agreed to be as close
as we possible could without being lovers, and that night in her bedroom we
feel asleep on her bed her with her head on my chest and me cradling her.  On
top of the covers, it was innocent.